KAZ AS AN AGE REGRESSOR

this year was just nto the year for love for us i dont think.

we started off by getting broken up with by our longterm (four year) partner

then ghosted by our other partner

then was pulled along by a friend who almost seemed to like us

and now weve been broken up with by our year long partner

im kind of just unfeeling about it now, like ive gone through so much outside the realm of love recently and this breakup is just sort of an addition to the growing pile of things i have to eventually deal with. it does help a bit that we have so many friends that we just didnt really talk to much anymore because we didnt see the need to. we saw our future in black and white. wed get through college, get married, move in together, and grow old. i didnt see the need to have any friends included in that outside of my partner’s friends. but now im kind of realizing that that was just the black and white thinking of my autism, i still am human, i still need friends, and now that im losing several because its very likely they wont talk to me anymore now that our fiancé broke it off, i need them more than ever. and so i messaged a few of my older ones, ones that i havent talked to in months, ones that before my fiancé i thought of as my closest most reliable friends and it really cheered me up. hearing them call me bestie and go crazy as i told them whats happened, about me graduating, about me getting a job, about me going to college, and about me getting my diagnosises. and it really made me realize that if someone isnt willing to put in effort to help a relationship grow properly then i shouldnt be expected to either. i guess my fiancé was right about that part, i did put a lot of effort into our relationship and they didnt. i wish they had so we couldve avoided this mess but truly im almost glad now because i would have missed out on realizing that so many people care about me and really would hate it if i just disappeared off the earth. like all these people would miss me so dearly and thats helping me really think through so many of my issues right not. a lot of my stress related to thinking i wasnt good enough or that i wasnt trying to be what they wanted me to be is just sort of gone because these people are my people and they know me for me. these people ive started talking to again have known me for almost as long as the system was known. and im glad to see that i dont have to hide certain parts of myself or pretend to be someone else around them. -sully

{disclaimer: if my ex sees this, this isnt meant as something negative towards you, you tried your hardest and well always love you for that, im sorry it came to this and we really would love to at elast still be friends. this post is just us having the realization that we arent alone and were allowed to have friends outside of you and your friends}

it impacts it in the same way bipolar or ptsd does. that doesnt make bipolar or ptsd an identity.

why tf do endos treat being a system like its an identity that you can pick and choose to label? why do they constantly push the transphobic rhetoric of using "traumascum" to refer to traumatized individuals that just dont want people to treat their symptoms like its fun?

being plural/being a system is nothing like being lgbtq+ and i really think we need to stop treating it as such

yes we are a community, but this community is one formed on the basis of being traumatized as kids, its not based on something we choose to refer to ourselves as

we need to be there to support each other but not blindly. we need to help spread information to others with the symptoms so they can receive help.

you wouldnt treat people with personality disorders the way you treat systems so why is it acceptable to treat systems this way?

reblog to kiss a narcissist on the mouth (with passion)

would anyone be interested in like a system news youtuber type of thing? that updates everyone on syscourse, drama, and medical updates from a nonbiased view? along with just talking about being a system and how it impacts things?

yo seriously anyone who says shipping marc and steven is disgusting or “selfcest” are just being ableist and uneducated.

especially the “selfcest” thing like no me steven and marc arent the same person were all seperate fuckin people that happen to share a body get over your stupid singlet ideas

also calling it disgusting directly negatively affects every single system who has inner system relationships. like youre calling it disgusting when inner system relationships are literally a way of healing.

kindly stfu with your stupid ass opinions and educate yourself

-jake

lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

i wonder if the dumbass in my comments understands that my feelings arent as hurt as their's is by other people's opinions

ssomedays im just really harshly reminded about how many trans kids take their lives before they graduate high school and realize just how lucky i am to have made it this far.

i lost a trans friend a year ago and while seeing videos on my tiktok fyp talking about trans youth one of them mentioned another trans kid who took her life years ago and it reminded me of what it was like when that happened and then i thought back to my own friend i lost. and its just so terrifying knowing that im lucky to be one of the trans kids to survive my middle/highschool years.

it was a really big realization the other day that i had in which i turned to my sister and said holy shit im an elder trans person now, ive survived. and thats just really sad, knowing that when i was like 14/15 and first starting my transition i looked up to 18/19/20 year olds who made it and were transitioning and now im in that position of having saw these 14/15 year old kids looking at me and how well i pass and how well i know myself and how i survived and feeling like they could make it. the amount of kids i have had tell me that just seeing me being me around the school helped them to feel safe is insane to me. like these kids deserve to just be kids. i deserved to just be a kid. but we dont get to be kids. we dont get to live out our high school years by being high schoolers, we live them out in fear. in fear of our peers, in fear of our families, in fear of ourselves. and thats just terrible. this shouldnt be how things are.

i shouldnt have had to fight for the right to just use any of the bathrooms at my school. i shouldnt have had to go into our counseling office and report slurs and threats being verbally thrown at me in the hall. i shouldnt have had to sit there in my car before the last football game a year ago crying because my best friend was dead.

It's insane when RAMCOA deniers will say "mind control and brainwashing doesn't exist", "this specific type of organized abuse doesn't exist", and "nobody will ever believe your absurd story" when there are documentaries of stories of this stuff that also doesn't feed into the Satanic Panic y'all cry about RAMCOA spreading. Please watch Jan Broberg's documentary "Abducted In Plain Sight". Please watch the 90s documentary about The Children Of God organization. Look at the COUNTLESS Epstein documentaries. It exists and us victims are not making up "absurd stories". Ffs this shit is STILL going on, look at the shit going on in the Catholic church and many other churches. Look at the fucking P-Diddy case. RAMCOA, especially RA and MC, exists and is still going on.

And fuck off with the "the abuse exists, RAMCOA doesn't" because that makes no sense and you sound like a fucking dumbass. This type of abuse exists but at the same time it doesn't?? Fuck off. "Noooo the conspiracies don't exist" then say the conspiracies ABOUT RAMCOA doesn't exist not that RAMCOA is one in itself. Because it's not, there's just conspiracies ABOUT it that definitely don't exist and absolutely need to be called out. But RAMCOA being a conspiracy in itself?? It's not it's just a term for a specific type of abuse. Calling a term for a specific type of abuse a conspiracy is basically saying the abuse itself doesn't exist and is a conspiracy. Which is fucked because the topics in the documentaries and ongoing cases I mentioned counts as RAMCOA.

NPD crash + BPD splitting culture is Turbulent by Waterparks

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