Omg this makes so much sense.
Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.
Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?
Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.
Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?
Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?
Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?
Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out
People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?
Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.
It's all a defence mechanism
Undiagnosed systemhood is
Thinking you just have no sense of self, and that's why your "personality" keeps changing.
Feeling like you're watching someone else operate your body, with no idea how or why.
Having strange deja vu moments where you feel like you've done something, but you don't remember any specific details.
Feeling like years of your life weren't actually lived by you, but by someone else that still exists somewhere in you.
Saying things that you can't control or don't agree with and not being able to do anything to fix it.
Feeling like you don't belong in your body, like you aren't actually you.
Not be a nasty mean disgusting aromantic on main but I hate the prevalence of puritanical anti-sex culture in queer spaces. Stop demonising casual sex or fucking your friends or in general just getting it on with whoever you want without wanting to pursue a romantic relationship as well. Stop calling people who don’t want romantic relationships but like sex ‘fuckbois’ or ‘afraid of commitment’. Stop treating all aromantic people like they’re not valid unless they’re also asexual. Aroallo people exist and deserve just as much respect as the rest of the community regardless of their views on sex. This involves cishet aroallo people as well because I know how weird yall on tumblr are about them. You don’t get to judge someone just because they don’t match up to your image of what a respectable queer looks like. Unless you’ve forgotten we’re all perverted dykes and faggots and trannies in the oppressors eyes and helping keep the myth of sex being something disgusting that should only ever happen between “two people who love each other very much” just helps them. Stop fucking putting your own head under the guillotine before the extermination has even started
*note: do not tag this as ace or aroace. This post is about the specific experiences aroallo people face and I will not suffer derailing.
Sory for just randomly venting I just have to get this off my chest.
I look for DID and traumagenic content for the relatability, and I just see rampent anti endo/willogenic/mixed origin systems etc.
I just hate how rampent this is. Maybe I've just been in an echo chamber for a while, but the plurality tags are so much more accepting and just better imo.
Thanks for listening to my ted talk.
"i would notice if you switched, so you must be faking"
bitch I can't even tell if i switched 80% of the time
being plural means a headmate pulling you into headspace to cuddle with you and help you go to sleep because of your& insomnia
being plural means smiling and laughing at a joke one of your headmates made, or having witty banter with them as you make a meal that you'll both be able to enjoy
being plural means a headmate going "its okay, you don't have to do this, i can do it" and you thanking them because yeah, you cant do that, and thats okay
being plural means thinking about your headmates when buying new clothes, or seeing a shirt or pair of pants for sale and going "they'd love that !!"
being plural means making one of your headmate's simplyplural profile, and spending lots of time perfecting it so that it fits them to a T
being plural means knowing you aren't alone
being plural means knowing that your headmates, your friends, your family, are always there for you
being plural means love.
I will always stand in solidarity with the psychotic and schizospec community.
If you don't judge people for saying "sorry adhd brain" in public, then don't judge people for saying "sorry schizophrenia brain" in public
If you correct people when they misuse the term "ocd" then you need to correct people when they misuse the terms "psychotic", "delusional", "hallucinating" and "schizophrenic"
If you don't stare, laugh at or fear a stranger in public flapping their hands, then you need to do the same for a stranger in public talking to someone who isn't actually there.
If you give a trigger warning to sensitive topics then you need to give a trigger warning to unreality and false information as a prank.
If you want to normalize medication like antidepressants you also need to normalize medications like antipsychotics.
If you don't like people without your disorder joking about it online and report it as harassment, then you need to do the same for the tons of nonschizophrenics making "schizoposting" memes to make fun of us.
Just please include schizo-spec and psychotic acceptance into your mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance. We are part of your community whether you like it or not. We are constantly stigmatized, misrepresented and made fun of. We do what we can to help you, please return the favor.
Mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance is an ongoing action. We will get nowhere in the long run if we split the community into the "in" group and the "out" group. We could all accomplish so much if we worked together. But you need to include the "weird" people that don't fit into your aesthetic and don't fit the social norms.
Us psychotics and schizo-specs have been struggling for years and have been the only people fighting for ourselves while the people we plead to barely see us as human. If you are nonpsychotic and nonschizo-spec, you can help us more than you realize. Please include us and stick up for us the same way we have been including and sticking up for you.
Anyway once again, "transabled" isn't a thing. Gender is a social construct. It does not have a single solid definition. You can literally just do whatever you want with it. Disability, on the other hand, DOES have a solid definition: having a long term medical condition that disables you. That's it, that's the definition. If you don't fit the single criteria, you aren't disabled. All you're succeeding in is admitting that you don't think trans people really are their gender, but instead that being trans is just "wanting" to be that gender. You are ableist and transphobic.
"Aphrodite loves terfs" do you really think a goddess of love formed from a literal penis and the mother of Hermaphroditus, an intersex god who was associated with androgyny and feminine men, fucks around with transphobia?
she is a literal trans icon and to deny that will get you smited by all the gods
Litterally me lmao
AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
Litterally so me.