Getting Serious For A Moment This Means Nothing To Anyone But Peoplw Make Madakana So One Sided Which

Adachi: Clearly, I’m already going to hell, so there’s no point in trying anymore.

i have a few asks that i'm working on, but i got this idea and it would not leave my head T_T saeran deserves the absolute world <3

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saeran was cold. the room wasn't cold and the heater was on full blast, but as saeran laid there, an empty chasm, he was cold. healing was not a linear process. there are ups and downs, good days and bad days. and there are also really bad days, where all saeran can do is lay in bed and overthink. where all of the voices of all of his persons feel like claws gripping his throat, where the possibility of someday becoming betters seems more and more distant. its these days where he is saeranrayunknown, where he doesn't know which personality is truly him. saeran is no stranger to these types of days-- the first month of him coming off of the elixir was the most excruciating, both physically and mentally. he wasn't kind to anyone around him, and he certainly wasn't kind to himself. however, with the support of his lover and his brother-- and also the therapist that jumin recommended-- saeran began his healing process. still. the bad days don't go away, and saeran had never been more aware of that as he laid in bed, eyes blankly staring at the ceiling.

there was no hunger. no thirst. no discomfort. only blank, empty, dark nothingness. it was that state that she found him in. saeran felt the room become warmer, felt the light she emitted. his eyes immediately found hers-- they always did, no matter what. understanding dawned on her as she saw saeran's state, and she slowly- like she was approaching a wild animal -made her way to him. "bad day?" she quietly asked, carding her fingers through his hair with such gentleness that it brought tears to his eyes. all saeran could do was give an imperceptible nod. "...one moment." her voice was nothing but kind as she got up and left the room again. he could hear her quiet, gentle voice and then after a beat, the warm, low voice of his brother. a few minutes passed. or maybe it was hours. weeks. months. saeran didn't know- all he knew was the emptiness he felt, the chill that ran bone-deep.

eventually, she stepped back in and took his hand. "come." she said, giving his hand a light tug. it took every ounce of saeran's strength to force himself into an upright position, and he had to lean on her to walk. (lean on her like he has every time he stumbled in the past. she remained as she always did, an unwavering pillar of strength.) they walked through the hallway, passing by the kitchen where saeyoung was doing-- something. saeran couldn't tell, couldn't lift his eyes from the ground. she led him into the bathroom, where the faint scent of lavender hung and flower petals floated in the full bathtub. "let's get you out of this, hm?" she said as she started to undress him. shame colored his face, but saeran couldn't find the strength to do it himself. couldn't find the strength to do anything more than stand there and let her take care of him, like she always has. (at her core, that is who she is. the caretaker, the pillar of strength, the shoulder to cry on. saeran thinks she is the strongest person he knows, to be able to carry him and others when they could no longer carry themselves. how many nights had saeyoung cried to her? yoosung? zen? jaehee? jumin, even? and yet, she never wavered. was always there with open arms and a kind smile and kinder words. she is nothing short of an angel.) and though saeran knew she was doing all of this because she truly loved him, he couldn't help but let the negative thoughts swirl around. how long until she grew tired of him? of his bad days? of taking care of him? how long until she saw him for what he truly was-- weak, frail, nothing?

she helped him into the bath before kneeling on the floor, reaching for the shampoo. "not that this will fix everything," she began as she lathered his hair, "but this always makes me feel a little better. our burdens are easier when we let other people help us carry them, no? and i'm here to help you carry yours, my love. it's okay if you don't feel up to speaking, just let me take care of you." the gentle way she washed his hair, the kindness in her voice, her unwavering love, all of it made saeran burst into tears. he had never been loved quite like this before, never had someone to hold him when he was feeling low and piece him back together when he fell apart. because that's what she did- when saeran broke into pieces, she took those pieces and put him back together, her love shining through his cracks. she is written deep in his bones, all over his heart. like he existed only to love her.

she let him cry, never stopping her soothing movements. for a while, all that there was was his soft cries and her low, comforting humming. after his hair, she moved on to lightly wash his body, nothing but care in her movements. saeran could not remember the last time he felt so fragile, or the last time he felt so loved.

it went on like that. after she washed him, she helped him out of the bath and into a warm towel. she got him his softest clothes, brushed through his hair with the gentlest motions, held him with the lightest touch. saeran clung to her once he was dressed, his arms immediately going around her waist. "i don't deserve you." his voice was muffled by her shirt, and he felt her shake her head. "nonsense." she replied. "you deserve everything." and she said that so matter-of-factly, like there wasn't any room for argument. "won't you tire of this? of taking care of me?" "never ever. i will always be here to pick you up and to hold you together."

it was easier to stand on his own two feet now; his body and his mind were both still heavy, but he could finally muster up the strength to carry himself. still, though, she held his hand and guided him out the door and to the living area. "saeyoung and i have your favorite movie on, and snacks have been prepared." ice cream and popcorn weren't exactly the healthiest of options, but saeran didn't care. his brother, who was always so loud and boisterous, who unapologetically took up space, was sat quiet and calm on the couch. he looked visibly worried over saeran, but she must've given him a look for he quickly covered it up. as saeran sat on the sofa, his lover on one side and his brother on the other, he could feel the coldness in him slowly melt away, replaced by the warmth of the two beside him. there would always be bad days, always be days where saeran doesn't have the strength to exist, but they were just a little easier with her and with saeyoung.

The air was heavy around them. Suddenly there was a bright flash and a loud clap of thunder. Xiao Xingchen gasped in surprise beside him as Xue Yang felt a large droplet of water hit his cheek and trickle down. He looked up, only now noticing the dark clouds scudding across the night sky. Raindrops began to play a tinny tune on the stones around them, random notes here and there that began to blend as the patter of rain increased.

(...) Xue Yang wasn’t sure when Xiao Xingchen’s hand had slid down from his forearm to his hand, but as they stumbled their way through the town and he guided Xiao Xingchen through the maze of coffins in their courtyard, he became aware that their fingers had slid together and they were gripping each other so tightly his fingers were becoming numb.

He didn’t quite know what to make of it, but also didn’t want to let go or draw Xiao Xingchen’s attention to it, so he kept holding on tightly as he stepped over the high threshold into the house. He immediately turned and placed his left hand gently but firmly against Xiao Xingchen’s chest to slow him down...

THIS is an excerpt from The taste of rain on skin, by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior and with the incredible art by @wrathyforest, two amazing and talented artists whose work I recommend you all to check!!

I'm honoured to know such wonderful people and I wish nothing but the best to all of you. Keep writing, keep drawing, keep creating things that make me happy please! >w<

“If I can’t be happy, neither can you.”

it’s time for requests!!

Jaehee deserves all the love I agree anon!! I hope Jaehee’s beauty is saccompanied with the outift I’ve chosen for her - I imagine them strolling through the city like this… maybe they’re looking for new tableware (I now decided they own a collection of aesthetic cups lolol)

More requests will follow~ Thank you for requesting 🧡

Their shared struggle with a lack of/weirdness towards their own humanity and lack of care for their lives and need to sacrifice themselves 👍how tsumugi treats him normally despite thinking he's extraordinary and having admiration towards him and a severe lack of empathy and then helps lead this campaign of dehumanization against him for the greater good and rei takes it due to his martyr complex. He emphathized with eichi so much he let it happen. and he has the audacity to critique tsumugi for some things that he had thought about in regards to himself. How were they so close but out of reach from each other but still genuinely truly friends? At what point did reis amusement and weird interest towards him grow into genuine true care despite it still being there because to be fair tsumugi is a weird little freak, but also, rei taught him so much and treated him like a human being when he saw himself as lower than that? He was there on the day he saw proof of his newly found humanity, of his rebirth thanks to natsume and the war, congratulating him for it. Even after all this time he finds himself slipping into his old tone with him, the tone of a self he has long killed off. And now theyre friends again even though the scars remain, even though it's tsumugi's torturous punishment, rei takes care of him. says they could take over the world together. Still wants him to be just a little kinder to himself, just as he'd wished for before. Not to mention the thing rei had implied about his own family when eichi asked if he was bullied, too, while being painfully aware of tsumugi's family and how awful it was...? 2nd year tsumugi saying he grew attached to him after only talking a few times because his concern made him genuinely, truly happy and rei saying he couldnt leave him alone and that he shouldnt act so distant. That theyre friends if he wants him to be. Teaching him what, in his perspective, friendship is, because tsumugis view of it is so skewed he doesnt even know when he has permission to consider someone his friend, and he has so many connections yet hes so alone. this isn't even all but I shant I cant and I shant.

wangxian yuri 🫶🐺

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