Throwback To The Worst Day Of My Life. ☺️

Or a boy?

How are you doing tonight sexy? My question is have you ever been catfished??

I'm so late with this, good morning! I'm well, hope you are, too! ✨

Have I ever been catfished... Like, by a love interest? No, lol. I don't attach to or allow myself to catch feelings for strangers online. I'm too grown for that. But I have met in the past & recently met people who low-key lie about important details of their lives, which I consider similar to catfishing, probably even worse. I think when people lie about their lives they lie about everything else. So I've since put distance between myself & those people. I also met someone who can't seem to tell the difference between their version of reality & reality, which is deeply concerning & they pretty much have a toxic personality, so there goes the slowly distancing myself thing again...

✨ It Is What It Is ✨

[ WINSLOW @ 3 A. M. ]

~Welcome to my blog~

Consists of:

Cozy Vibes, Rainy Vibes

Sleep Vibes, Autumn & Winter Vibes

Poetry

Music

Dark Academia

••• ENJOY •••

Do you have a middle name?

Yes, Winslow. But before I was named Willy, I was going to be named Wilbur Winslow Wonka Jr.

Sources: (IG) @Tigerfawn, Pinterest ☕🥐🌷

Did I miss something?

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

💯💯💯

Sometimes I want to reach out and help people struggling with depression, but then I remember most people ain't shit. We live in a society that thrives on popularizing negativity and evil, using each other and stepping on others to reach our goals. And for those reasons, among many, I wish to be left alone. I detach myself, and here I am doing it again. Pretending to be depressed isn't cute, glamorizing depression isn't therapeutic, seeking vain attention for your depression isn't okay. I hate people...

"You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way."

– Walter Hagen 🌼🏵️💐

autumn moodboard

I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER ANON! <3

Hello. My name is Nica. I want to stay anon until I get comfortable and I‘m not good with new people. But my question is, how do you advise someone to deal with their depression? Do you know any remedies that help with chronic sadness? Or panic attacks? My life isn‘t where I want it to be atm, dealing with a lot of stuff and I don‘t have any friends to talk to or get help from. Sorry if I‘m bothering you in the morning I just saw that you‘re leaving tumblr and it triggered an attack and I feel like crying. You were the one blog I liked and how you helped people and now I don‘t have anybody :/

Omg. No, no, no, you're not bothering me at all, & you're not just going to wake up one day & my account is going to be deactivated. I'll tell you all when I'm leaving & chances are I still won't deactivate, just cause. I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to trigger you. It was just an idea I had. I used to have really bad panic attacks to a point were my muscles would hurt for days, I had to be taken in an ambulance & put on meds cause I had them daily for like a month. I wouldn't eat, I was constantly snapping on people & irritated. I turned into someone who isn't me. My family noticed the change & pointed it out & I snapped on them for that. It was that bad. And this was recent, this wasn't like 5 years ago, all this happened LAST year. So I know from experience how difficult & painful what you're going through right now can be.

Even though I still have anxiety sometimes, I learned how to stop the attacks from happening, I don't have them anymore. But before then my doctor wanted to put me in a psych ward, (yeah, he literally recommended that) & I took Xanax (& Zoloft for two days) for a while, then it stopped helping, so he wanted to increase my dose. And I didn't want to become an addict or dependent on meds (I personally don't believe in taking meds for mental illnesses), so one day I just decided "fuck it, I'm not taking anything anymore" & I realized in that moment that the decision I made scared me a fucking lot cause I wasn't going to have anything to run to, but ultimately it was going to help me. I had to hurt & pray A LOT before I got better. While I was going through it I felt so hopeless & lost & I started questioning my faith in God cause I didn't feel like anything was changing, I felt worse tbh. I remember one night I just completely gave up & I drove to my mom's house in the middle of the night cause I didn't know what else to do. We went for a walk & talked until the sun came up. I never call my parents when I'm going through something terrible, I always try to resolve my problems on my own, so if I call them it's serious. But with time I got better. And I'm happier. So I'm living proof that you CAN overcome your biggest demons. My advice to you would be to start slow, you won't get better overnight. It's going to take time & it's going to hurt - I won't lie to you, but you WILL prevail in the end. But for now, distract yourself, get on your phone & find a funny video. Give yourself time to breathe & realize you're safe. That feeling will pass & you'll be okay again. & if you ever need someone to talk to to help you calm down, come hop in my dm's & we can hang out until you feel better. You don't have to be alone. & you definitely don't have to suffer alone. I often get people who ask me for advice in handling depression, that's partially the reason I haven't left Tumblr. I wouldn't want to abandon anybody. I'm so sorry you're going through this, honey. I hope things get better for you. Literally if you need me to just stay here for you just to help you, I will. & if you need any more resources in dealing with anxiety/depression, dm me. I'm so sorry for triggering you. I'll choose my words more carefully next time. Bless your heart, I'll pray for you.

💙

Organizations:

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH); 866-615-6464

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI); 800-950-NAMI (800-950-6264)

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA); 240-485-1001

American Psychiatric Association; 800-357-7924

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Mental Health (CDC); 800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636)

American Psychological Association; 800-374-2721

~•••~

Coping, Advocacy, and Support:

Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Support Groups

The Anxiety Network: Help and Support

Anxiety Central: Forums

~•••~

Medications for Anxiety Disorders (talk to your doctor first):

Cymbalta (duloxetine)

Celexa (citalopram)

Zoloft (sertraline)

Anafranil (clomipramine)

Prozac (fluoxetine)

Paxil (paroxetine)

Xanax (alprazolam)

Klonopin (clonazepam)

BuSpar (buspirone)

Valium (diazepam)

Ativan (lorazepam)

Lexapro (escitalopram)

~•••~

Links:

https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/anxiety

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/resources

https://blog.thetransitionhouse.org/anxiety-help-and-resources-1

https://www.rtor.org/anxiety/

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders

I H o p e Y o u ' r e O k a y

May winter bring you peace, rebirth & happiness ~