Men Invented Dueling So They Could Shoot Hot Loads Into Eachother

Hi, yes. I am a baby noodle.

French Navy Dassault Super Étendards - BAN Hyeres, June 2014

Photos: Kevin Martin

a sweet child

"there's a steam sale on at the moment" oh no kidding dude. that'll be perfect for your choo choo train.

Inked girl http://inked-dollz.tumblr.com/

Narcisse Snake Dens - Manitoba, Canada - Red-Sided Garter Snake Mating Frenzy

Not recommended viewing for those afraid of snakes…

via Boing-Boing

All Nippon Airways 787 Dreamliner prepping for the 2016 Farnborough Airshow

The second pipper makes an appearance!

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes, so too will you frighten a number of small children playing inside that ball pit.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20 Everyone laughed when you said that global warming would destroy the planet, but that’s primarily because you had your pants down at the time.

Gemini | May 21 to June 20 Lately it seems like every time you open your mouth something terrible happens. Don’t be alarmed: This is what is known as “food poisoning.”

Cancer | June 21 to July 22 Your creativity will skyrocket this week, moments after purchasing a number of colorful and hilariously incongruent wigs.

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 They say it’s impossible to survive without daily human contact, but then the Glowing Orb Beings from Muugaave-6 have ways of keeping you alive.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 Nobody understands the excruciating pain you’re going through. Although having to listen to you drone on and done about it is torture of a whole different kind.

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22 You’ll wake up tomorrow morning to find a baby on your doorstep, just like you have for the last three and a half weeks.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 The ancient martial art of karate should only be employed for self-defense, or in your case, any time you drink too much and decide to ruin everyone else’s night.

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 It’s not the size of the ship, but rather the motion of the ocean that will cause your girlfriend to get sick during intercourse.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19 The cheese stands alone. The cheese stands alone. You idiot—what are you doing!? Guard that damn cheese!

Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18 Paved roads aren’t exactly a new innovation, but you still manage to get excited every time you see someone get run over.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 You will finally land your dream job this week, an ironic achievement considering how little you’ll be sleeping from now on.