P-pookie, Can I Get An Accidental Confession (where We Or Them Accidentally Confessed) With The Blue

holding you , holding me ✿ bllk men

﹒postscript : when they realise they’re in love, with you. ɞ‎ feat. nagi, reo, rin, karasu, shidou, sae, kaiser ɞ‎ cw fem reader in a few, banter, suggestive

nagi realises he’s in love with you when the late night calls start getting more frequent. he had started craving your presence more and more. hell, he felt lovesick.

“what a hassle..” nagi’s head flops against the bed sheets, his gaze constantly shifting to his phone to see if you’ve replied to his text yet.

the nagi waiting for your texts? not to mention texting first, call a man whipped!

”i only take a few second’s to reply..” nagi picks up his phone again, grumbling when his notifications are empty. if he replies as soon as you do, why do you have to spend the next 3 decades replying back?

nagi’s usually the one who replies and then logs on minecraft for hours. him replying in mere seconds at your texts—you’re definitely special. very special in his eyes, oh. there’s something else that caught his eyes.

nagi’s phone lit up with a notification, from you.

sure! it’s a date then :))

cool, :x. 7PM?

reo realies he’s in love with you when his pockets really start to hurt.

i mean really. he’s been spoiling you relentlessly for the past few weeks. even if you insist you don’t need a new shirt, by tomorrow your closet is filled with them.

you just can’t seem to escape his mind. whenever he walks by the street and spots a store, his first thought goes to you, that maybe you’d like this. that maybe he should buy it for you—of course he will.

“you know.” reo smiles at you as you try on the new necklace he bought for you. “i booked a dinner for us, just us.”

“oh?” you hum, still struggling with the hook. “can you help me?”

“sure.” he’s more than happy to help you hook your necklace—a chance to put his hands on you? he’ll take it gladly.

“so about that dinner..” his hands swiftly clasp your necklace around your neck. “are you coming or what?”

“i don’t know… the mikage reo taking me out?” you grin up at him. “im a little shy.”

you and reo laugh soundly, well, looks like you’ve got a date tonight.

rin couldn’t believe it.

he’s in love with you, playback—he’s in love.

it started off with smaller details, like how he would leave his soccer practice or gym earlier than usual to see you. and also how his messages app slowly started to become his most used app.

soccer wasn’t everything anymore, he had you too now.

“don’t make me waste money on this lukewarm shit ever again.” rin gruffed as he watched you sip the drink he had bought you from the convenience store earlier.

normally, he’d never waste his money on some useless milkshake from the store, that’s not even good for your body. but seeing you contentedly gulp at the fresh taste of your drink, he can’t seem to hold himself back.

“give me some.”

the words slip out of his tongue before he can control them.

“you wanna try?” well he’s definitely colored you surprised now. “come here then, rinnie.”

rin could feel his face slightly heat up at the nickname. he scoots closer to you, snatching the drink from your hand with no warning.

“hey!” you glare at him as he drinks the entire thing in one gulp, definitely not what you anticipated. “that was mine, you were supposed to take a sip.” you huff at him.

rin only rolls his eyes. “i paid for it. ill buy you a new one later.” your eyes sparkle at his words.

“fine, you win.” you smile. “im going to get going before you become grumpy and tell me to shoo.” you give him a teasing wink, about to get up from his couch when suddenly he grabs your arm.

“wait.” he grits his teeth, biting back words. “don’t go.”

“rin?”

“just, don’t.”

“you missed me, huh?” karasu smirks. he had his hair down, for once not put up with an insane amount of gel—karasu in all his glory.

“i didn’t.” you huff at him. “you look even uglier with your hair down.”

“yer’ comparing my beauty to your birds nest?” karasu crosses his arms, leaning against the door.

“oh, we can see them split ends girl.” you roll your eyes.

karasu has always loved bantering with you, but nowadays, it seems as if his heart has been telling him thats not the only reason his heartbeat speeds up whenever he’s around you.

he loves bantering with you, he loves you.

there’s a prolonged silence, karasu’s anticipating if he should say what he’s about to say. he usually isn’t this nervous—you’re the exception to that.

“you think you wanna go out sometime, yeah?” it’s the way his sharp eyes soften that makes your heart start doing flips.

“yeah, i do.”

there’s a moment of comfortable silence, your brain ingraving the memory in the back of your head. which of course, quickly gets ruined by his cocky smirk. he wasn’t the best at dealing with these moments

“even y’can’t resist my charm.” karasu sticks his tongue out at you. “ill pick you up at 9.”

“you… get back here!”

shidou could feel a wide grin on his face as he read your message—“sure, i’d love to go sky diving with you!”

anybody would of said that is a crazy idea for a first date, but you? you can say you definitely match his freak.

his heart explodes into a burst of enthusiasm whenever you’re around him. he can feel a rush of serotonin whenever you accidentally brush your hands against his.

oh he was so in love. he is definitely wifing you up when you deploy the parachute- how could he not when he feels like he’s going to explode with all these bottled up feelings.

he in fact had a very disappointed pout on his face when you said it was far too soon for marriage, so what if you’re not dating yet? you can start now!

your betrayal will not be forgotten. but hey, he can try again next year.

sae realised he’s in love with you when you started becoming an avid figure in his daily routine.

it was like muscle memory for him to wake up and check for your good morning text, never failing to emit an amused scoff from his lips.

of course, he acknowledged the fact that he was in love with you. but would he dare entertain the thought and risk the beloved friendship you already have? never.

“nobody’s looking.”

this was dangerous. he has you trapped against the wall in the locker room, his lips tantalisingly close to yours. he wasn’t suppose to be doing this—but how could he resist when you came to see him at practice?

“sae…we can’t here.” you try to be rational, but your breathing is just as heavy as his.

“just shut-“

footsteps. someone was coming. sae pushes you away behind a locker so nobody see’s you, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.

maybe next time he’ll get you.

kaiser took some time to notice his feelings, but even he started getting self conscious of all the excuses he started making to touch you, and the flirting was starting to cross a few boundaries as well.

maybe he’s just lust-driven, that’s all he thought for a while. he chose to distance himself, and you didn’t miss the change in his behaviour.

he thought distancing himself would help ease his feelings.. not make them worse.

he can feel his heart throbbing, mind full with only thoughts of you—is it love or is it lust?

he doesn’t know, he’s never felt like this before. what even is love? thats stupid.

“hey.” he smirks, grasping your hand, a habit of his by now. “what are you up to, schatz?” the light-hearted pet name rolls off his tongue smoothly.

“michael.” you look at him, eyes widening a little. “i haven’t seen you in forever.” his expression slightly wavers at that.

“oh i’ve been.. busy.” he lies, smiling. the truth is, he hasn’t been busy at all. he’s been avoiding you, you and your precious smile.

“its okay.” you pat his shoulder. “i just missed you.”

“i missed you too.” he blurts out unknowingly, slightly flinching at what he said. “i’ve been avoiding you.” he confesses.

your eyebrow’s slightly raise at that. “…why?”

“because.. i don’t know.”

your hands hesitantly reach out. you knew how he was about physical touch, but maybe just this once he needs it.

he bents down a little, his face hitting your shoulder as he reciprocated your hug.

“Ich liebe dich.”

apologies, some parts aren’t as long as the others. i got lazy ( and have favorites… ✌️) only 7 chrc bc i had no ideas for isagi

mother mother

ft. itoshi sae, itoshi rin, mikage reo, chigiri hyoma, and yukimiya kenyu (gn!reader but please tell me if theres ever the use of feminine terms cuh i ws envisioning a fem reader IM SO SORRY GANG 😓😓)

— ‘my mom wants to meet u’ or smth along the lines of that idk

genre(s). comedy because i think im funny

cw. oliver aiku isnt here so no cw!! (oliver girlies pelase dont come for me); NEVERMIND THERES SWEARING, oh and fem reader for reo’s part + the use of ‘yn’ + kidnapping rin but dw its not that bad; ooc (as always); kinda suggestive for reo's, yukimiya's and chigiri's; NO ACTUALLY FUCK THAT MENTIONS OF SEGGS IN CHIGIRI AND YUKKI'S PARTS HIUFHAFNDS 😓😓

note. xmas break but it doesnt feel very jolly 😓😓 BAD QUALITY BTW ERMMM CRYIN; planning to do a pt 2 w isagi, bachira, kurona and other ppl bc momma isagi and bachira are my biggest hear me outs sorry not sorry 😽😼 MY MERRY CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU ALL LMAOOOO

tagging: @whatisnerotypical, @itoshivy (AYRA IDK IF U STILL WANNA GET TAGGED BUT IM TAGGING U ANW JS TELL ME IF DONT WANNA LUV U MWWAWMAWMAWM)

🐈‍⬛: thank you for reading! reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!

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© sheyfu on tumblr

4:00am — itoshi sae 

you weren’t sure how long you’ve been staring at your screen, the pixels were slowly turning into a blur as your eyes watered due to exhaustion. 

how long has it been since you’ve had a proper good night’s sleep? you weren’t sure. however, you knew that you had to finish your task at hand and maybe then you can take a short break. 

your hand clenched on the computer mouse with a sigh. 

you were just so, so tired and your work seemed never ending. you groaned as you stretched your back that has been hunched for hours on end, feeling a little relieved as you feel the kinks loosen up. 

the door to your room slams open. you jolt, not expecting anyone or any guests to arrive. your eyes widened as you see your boyfriend, sae, look at you with a blank expression on his face. 

“sae… what’re you doing here?” you cringed as you realized your throat has been dry, having not talked in the past 12 hours or so, you swivelled in your desk chair, watching as sae slowly approached you. 

“you weren’t responding to my messages.” sae replied coolly before his teal eyes glanced over to your computer, the only source of brightness in your room. 

your brows furrowed in confusion. “you sent me messages?” 

your hand grabs at your phone, turning it on, letting out a quiet “oh.” once you remembered that you placed your phone on do not disturb.

—

mi cariño

8:00am

 >> good morning mi querido  

mi cariño

9:50am

 >> i sent over food, make sure to eat today. 

mi cariño

1:30pm

>> i have training today. let’s talk later. 

mi cariño

6:16pm

training is done. captain wanted us to have dinner, have you eaten yet? 

mi cariño

8:40pm 

>> ???

mi cariño

8:45pm 

>> you must be really busy, be sure to take breaks amor

mi cariño

10:00pm

>> i’ll head to bed early. training tomorrow. good night, take breaks.

mi cariño

1:45am

>> i can’t sleep. i haven’t heard your voice today. what have you done to mi amor? 

mi cariño

3:30am

 >> i’m coming over. 

—

you turned off your phone, looking at sae with a guilty expression. 

“i–” “have you eaten today?” sae cuts you off with a raise of his brow. you sheepishly looked over the messy wrappers of biscuits and empty noodle cups. your boyfriend follows your gaze and sighed, shaking his head. 

“you need proper rest.” sae said as he tried to hold your computer mouse, you shook your head, hand clasping around his. 

“i’m almost done, promise!” you said, you weren’t exactly lying, your output was almost complete but you were waiting on a groupmate who was probably snoring away in her bed. 

you gulp when you see sae look at you with a glare, he gently takes your hand away from the computer mouse and saves your output, closing your computer with a few clicks. 

“sae, i’m fine, really!” you try to convince him but it was all for naught. 

“we’re going to sleep.” 

“what?”

“you look like a mess, when’s the last time you slept properly?” you look away, not wanting to answer his question. 

you hear sae heave out a sigh and before you could look back at him, you feel him lift you up by your thighs, carrying you to your bed. 

“sae!” “shut up.” he says before he plops you on the bed, tucking you in with your favorite plushie. 

“go to sleep.” he says once more as the bed dips under his weight, you can't say anything in response as you feel his arms snake around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, enabling you to feel his heartbeat. 

you looked at the clock. 4:18am. less than an hour of sae’s usual alarm of 5:00am.

“i’m sorry for keeping you up.” you say quietly, guilty. “you only have so little time left before your morning training.”

you feel sae tilt your head up to meet his gaze, only for him to flick your forehead. “ow!” 

“don’t be stupid,” he starts, “i already called the captain. i’m not going later.” 

“eh?” 

sae smirks at the confused look on your face as he places a tender kiss on your forehead. 

“just sleep, mi querida.” sae whispers as he carefully presses your head against his chest, his calm and steady heartbeat triggering the sleepiness you’ve been feeling for days.

“i’ll be here when you wake up, just rest in my arms for now.” 

note/s: this is written for my college roomie :> she's alrdy read this so hi oomf :> also !! first blue lock drabble in a while (an entire year) im soooo looking forward to writing more of them AaaAaaA +also college!bf sae :3

soft kissing m.list | rules

pairing. blue lock x reader

characters. sae, shidou, kaiser

note. kind of putting my stuff together with the bllk fandom, hope it's not too ooc and if it is, i hope that you at least like it lmao

Sae or a kiss for reassurance

Saying that Sae was popular with the girls was almost an euphemism. They were always swooning over him, trying to get his attention. And even if he obviously didn’t care at all, you could help but to get worried because of this. 

It wasn’t really a lack of self confidence, you knew you were pretty and that he loved you but looking at those girls being REALLY pretty and having perhaps a lot more than anything you had, it kept on making you wonder if he wouldn’t leave you for any of them. 

You were both sitting on the couch in the living room, his eyes focused on the book between his fingers. You were sitting next to him, fidgeting with your fingers as you were obviously stressed over something. Too bad for you, your boyfriend knew you all too well to not notice it. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked without even looking up from his book, but when he heard no answer from you, he slowly moved his eyes to your figure. You were avoiding his gaze, trying to find the right words and clearly struggling. He frowned just a little, putting his book to the side. It seemed more important than what he thought. 

“Do you think about leaving me, sometimes?” Your words hit a chord deep inside of him. Leaving you? Why would he be leaving you? The thought never even crossed his mind. He gently grabbed your hand, his lips meeting your knuckles to leave soft kisses against your skin. “Never.” 

When he looked up at you and you finally met his eyes, you knew he wasn’t lying. But he could still see a flash of worry in your eyes, and he didn’t like it. His free hand moved up to your face so he could hold your chin, tilting your head down to make you lean closer to him. The way he softly kissed your lips made your heart beat faster in your chest, because you knew you were the only one being able to have this treatment from him. 

“Don’t ever think I’d leave you,” he whispered in such a gentle tone after he pulled away, his lips almost brushing against yours as he spoke. How could you not trust him when he was acting like this. Nothing should make you doubt his feelings for you, ever.

Shidou or a kiss as an apology

He never really cared about making people angry, at least most of the time. It was more like entertainment to him. But if it was you? He hated it. He always had some trouble expressing himself in any other way than teasing or violence, but he tried his best so he could do things right with you. So making you angry was the last thing he wanted. 

He couldn’t even remember what he did, but apparently it was really bad because you had been giving him the silent treatment for days now. No matter what he tried to do, you kept on ignoring him, not even looking in his direction. He could cry to be honest. 

You were sitting on a chair, in front of your desk, when Shidou walked into the room. You knew it was him, because he was the only one walking in without even knocking at the door. You didn’t glance at him ; well you tried until you felt his hands on your legs, making you turn slowly in his direction. 

He was down on his knees, his fingers slowly stroking your legs as he began to leave soft kisses up to your knees. Between his soft touches on your skin, he was muttering sweet nothings about being sorry and promising to be more careful. 

“Please baby, don’t ignore me,” he pleaded silently, looking up at you to finally meet your eyes. Your fingers slowly reached for his cheek, brushing the skin which made him slowly move up so he could face you. He moved closer, his hands sliding up your thighs. 

His lips left a quick peck against yours, pressing just a little to be sure it was real. When he moved away, a grin suddenly appeared on his face. You looked away, hating how easily he could go back at you. He grabbed you out of nowhere, making you fall from your chair so you would join him on the ground. 

‘I’ll be good, I promise,” he told you as he nuzzled his nose against the skin of your neck, the smile never leaving his lips. You let your fingers run through his hair, sighing slowly. You couldn’t stay angry at him for too long, especially not when he was acting like this.

Kaiser or a kiss out of jealousy

He had never hidden the fact that he was a jealous man, even if he didn’t like the idea that he was this close to someone. Well, at first he didn’t like it, but now it was the least of his preoccupations. You were in the center of his mind and thoughts, and he always made sure that you were focusing solely on him. 

So when he saw you talking with that random dude, he felt his blood boiling in his veins. Yes, you had the right to talk to other men, he wasn’t that possessive (perhaps he was, but he wouldn’t say it out loud). But you were laughing a little too much and he was a bit too touchy with you ; there was no way he would let this happen. 

He walked back to you slowly, maybe too slowly ; he looked like a predator about to jump on his prey. He wrapped an arm around your waist when he arrived next to you, bringing you closer to him so the other guy’s hand would leave your arm. A light gasp left your lips and you looked at Kaiser with a little smile. 

Before you could say anything, he leaned closer to you so he could capture your lips in a second. His free hand cupped your cheek and your own found its way to his arm, pulling away not so far after he kissed you. You turned your head to glance at the other guy, just standing there in disbelief. 

Kaiser looked at him, slowly raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you see you’re not welcome now? Just leave already.” And the poor guy didn’t hesitate before he almost ran away from here. You looked back at your boyfriend, crossing your arms on your chest with a judging look as he simply shrugged his shoulders. At least, he had you all for himself now.

thank you for reading <3

compression shirts and itoshi rin needs to be listed as a cause for heart attacks.

some might say they’re a deadly duo.

and you most certainly could agree with that statement since you’ve experienced first hand.

rin walks past you and you notice from the blurry figure that he’s wearing an unfamiliar shirt that looks way tighter than what he usually opts for. as per usual, you call out to him, “where you goin’?” you ask, still not looking up from your phone screen.

he almost scoffs at the stupidly obvious question. “where you do you think?” he rolls his eyes, turning to face you—that’s where you get the full image and oh my word.

stupid ass grey sweatpants he always wears and that unfamiliar tight shirt that was on your mind—a freaking compression shirt!

“i—oh…” your mouth widens to an ‘o’ shape once you finally comprehend everything. it’s almost surreal but you could imagine him wearing it one day—but not this day! “what?” “when did you get that?” “it was just in my closet.”

he shrugs. HE SHRUGS.

like no big deal, he’s off to wherever.

you can’t help but roll around after he’s already left you alone with you thoughts—your thoughts of how him being a gym FREAK and an athletic fuck really has an impact on you.

oh yeah, you’re totally gonna die soon.

and why the fuck did he never tell you he had a black compression shirt in his closet.

sticky note. this man is a walking heart attack cause

HIII can a request a smau of the bllk males like UH about like the reader accidentally confessed to them?? and what's their reaction?? HAVE A GOOD DAYY (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

ACCIDENTAL CONFESSION

synopsis — you meant to be texting your friend about ur crush but you accidentally texted ur crush

featuring — yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, nahi seishiro, reo mikage, rin itoshi, sae itoshi

a/n — FIRST REQUEST UAYAYYA ANYWAYS THIS ONE WAS ORETTY FUNNY HONESTLY

YOICHI ISAGI

MEGURU BACHIRA

SEISHIRO NAGI

REO MIKAGE

RIN ITOSHI

SAE ITOSHI

♡ cute things they do in a relationship! (pt 1)

(pt 2 linked here!!)

small but cute things they do in a relationship with the bllk men <3

featuring ☆ isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, rin, sae, shidou, & kaiser

tag(s) ☆ fluff!

ISAGI would comfort you before you meet his parents, telling you it's alright and nothing will go wrong. of course, nothing went wrong. his parents ended up liking you a lot!

BACHIRA would swap shoes with you if your feet were hurting. sometimes, your feet would get scratched and he'd rush to the nearest drug store to buy you cute band-aids.

CHIGIRI would give you tips on how to take good care of your hair and skin. he'll recommend a ton of good hair and skin products and buy them for you! suprisingly, they're all really good to use.

NAGI would brush your hair behind your ear. this mostly happens when you wake up and there's "too much" hair in front of your face, or it's too windy outside. sometimes, he'll just do it for fun

REO would give you a piggy back whilst crossing the road, or sometimes its just random. one time, he gave you a piggy back ride when you accidentally tripped and lightly scraped your knees.

RIN would randomly give you a small kisses on the cheeks, forehead, or lips, and you'd happily kiss him back. if he's being clingy, he'll wrap his arms around your waist, not intending to let go of you.

SAE would gently carress your cheek with his thumb, wipe away any tears if you happened to cry and comfort you + cuddle with you after a stressful day

SHIDOU would scream with you if you saw a cockroach inside your living space. of course, it's a joke, but eventually, he'll kill the gross looking bug for you.

KAISER would constantly say "i love you" after a tiring day, since he hasn't seen you for the entire day. you would then return the favour by saying "i love you more" and he'd disagree with you. "no, i love you more!"

a/n: i added some crack in shidou's part lmfao

©hioriri/fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy, repost, or translate. likes and reblogs are accepted and appreciated!

Giggle. Giggle. Giggle.

You’ve been giggling nonstop for the past hour now. Don’t get him wrong, Kaiser loves hearing your laughter but right now it’s starting to piss him off.

You just sit there staring at whatever it is on your phone and giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. He raised an eyebrow completely abandoning the book in his hands and focusing his gaze on you.

“What’s so funny?” He asked with a teasing tone to his voice.

When you didn’t reply and kept smiling at your phone he frowned closing his book and moving towards your spot on the couch.

He tilted his head toward to take a peek at your phone but you were quicker to hide it, “Looking at someone’s phone without their permission isn’t nice, Michael.”

His frown deepened at that and moved closer to you, “What are you looking at? You’re been ignoring me and giggling like a lovesick fool.”

You bite your lip trying to contain a smile, “Well, that’s none of your business, pretty~” you poke his cheek and move towards stand up from your spot but he swiftly snakes his arm around your waist and forces you back into his chest.

“And where do you think you’re going, huh?” He smirks down at you successfully trapping you against his chest.

“Let me go, Michael!” You say through laughter.

He tilts his head up, pretending to think “Hmmmm… I think I won’t” he started slowly caressing your tummy.

“Now, you have two choices here, either you tell me willingly or I force it out of you, love” his fingers that were caressing your tummy just a moment ago moved to ticked you now.

Your uncontrollable laughter could be heard through the whole apartment. You squirmed in his grip and pleads started falling from your lips involuntarily.

“P-Please Michael! I- I’ll show you! Stop!” You managed to get it out while Kaiser kept attacking your sides.

He halts his movements and smirks down at you “What an obedient little thing you are.” for a second you contemplated not wanting to satisfy him upon seeing his shit-eating grin.

You sigh and move to reach for your phone unlocking it with ease. “There, happy now?” You push the phone in his face flashing his with an edit of himself.

He falls silent for a moment but recovers from his initial shock quickly and the grin makes it back to his lips. “Oh, so it’s me you’re drooling over, huh.”

You smile sheepishly and blush a little, “Well, they did capture your finest moments on the field…” you hear his giggling in your ears and you’re attacked again, although this time the target is your neck and Kaiser is planting kisses all over it.

chigiri who genuinely thinks the best method to apply chapsticks is by applying some on you before taking some of it through kissing. even in public because 'bf privilege' he says.

isagi who changes his phone case into a clear one just to put your photo with him in it. sometimes look at it with a lovesick smile then get embarrassed when someone points it out.

nagi who tries his best to take care of you when you are sick. yes, with the power of 'group call' and 'asking maid king and reo', but he turns out to be a good sick people caretaker too.

sae who gets jealous at the pettiest thing, if that's even the appropriate word. what do you mean your shoes are matching with that stranger you never know instead of him???

rin who actually calls for your first name for the first time by shouting it out of panic. he doesn't mean for it to come out, it is supposed to be "moron!" and such, but it certainly just slips out from his mouth.

kaiser who never says it but loves it when you bite the cap of eyeliner while trying to do his eyeliner while straddling his lap. never been so glad he makes sure you will do his every morning.

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Wardrobe Malfunction

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 1.6k TYPE: Humor, Clothes Swap NOTE(S): For the purposes of this situation, reader is on the shorter side, and also because I feel like they have the evil of a short person in their soul. Also, same Y/n character as Dog Walking, but you don't need to read that to read this at all!

Despite whatever airs you put on, you like wearing your Bastard München uniform. Mostly because it makes you feel like a big shot professional, which appeals to your sense of self-importance.

You don’t think much of it when you slip on your shirt, but soon enough it becomes apparent to you that something is off. It feels wrong, too loose. And it’s falling down way lower than what you’re used to. You take a few seconds to scrutinize it in between owlish blinks, although the emboldened logo on the front doesn’t aid you in figuring out this mystery.

The easy way to check comes to you soon enough, and you lift your leg to see a traitorous ten in the corner of the shorts instead of your number. A look of horror takes over your face… No… You’re going to get Kaiser’s cooties. He is contaminating you with his germs.

You can already feel them loosening after the movement, and once you put your foot back down, they immediately slide off. With a huff, you grab them from the floor and resolve to strut up to the crux of your dilemma.

When you approach, Kaiser has his back on you, and you immediately notice the big eight, and the wrong name accompanying it. Ness is struggling to fit into the shirt he got, and while his jersey isn’t too ill-fitting on Kaiser, it’s too short, leaving him to fumble with the hem to try and hide the exposed part of his waist.

“It’s just like the pants, I can’t put it on,” Ness cries.

“What do you mean, you can’t put it on?” Kaiser asks before taking a handful of fabric and yanking down with too much force. “See, you can put it on just fine.”

“I can barely move! This is ridiculous-”

Oh, you see how it is now. Are they stupid, though? How have they been talking for so long without pinpointing the problem? You sneak behind Kaiser and reel in your arm before smacking him on the back with the shorts, exerting all of your might.

He lets out a grunt of pain you believe is overdramatized since it can’t have hurt that much, shoulders jerking up. “Whoever did that, I will fucking curb stomp y-” and then, after he whips around and sees you, the threat dies down on his tongue.

“Your dirty pants, sir,” you say in a fake fancy voice before throwing them at his face.

Kaiser flings them away on the bench, narrowing his eyes at you with this weird mix between taunting and adoring. “What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you. You’re so cute right now. Let me see.”

With this new positioning, Ness seems to finally realize what happened, too, because he says, “Wait, Kaiser, that’s… m-mine.”

Ignoring him, Kaiser steps around to examine you, and his ugly grin that you can’t stand grows even wider somehow when he reads his name. His name that’s on you because you’re wearing his jersey. “Holy shit.”

“You look like an imp.”

He disregards you with ease, too — you have to admit he’s good at this ‘only hearing what he wants to hear’ stuff — and opens his locker to rummage through it. Ness says, “You’re- you’re wearing Kaiser’s? That’s so unfair.”

“Yeah, and you’re wearing mine. Stand proud. You’re blessed. Millions would kill to be in your place. Everyone’s gonna wear this merch in the future, but you get the real thing.”

“You seriously live in la-la-land, it’s unbelievable.”

You spin your finger in the air, seeming way too pleased with yourself. “Do a little twirl for me, I wanna see how it looks on you all around.”

“I will NOT be doing that,” Ness denies with a huff. He’s so uptight when it comes to anyone who’s not Kaiser. Someone would’ve thought you have gangrene or that you asked him to clean roadkill off the street or something with the way he’s acting.

What Kaiser was searching for in such a rush turns out to have been his phone, you come to find out when he starts taking pictures of you without even a modicum of shame. Multiple of them, if the repetitive pressing he’s doing is indicative of anything.

“Don’t point your phone at me, you sick fuck,” you say, reaching out to cover the lens.

Your efforts go in vain, since he just lifts it up high where you can’t reach and continues. “No way. You’re just way too cute right now. I mean, shit.”

Mocking you aside, there’s this thinly-veiled wonder on his face, and it’s making you want to vomit because of course he’d be the type to get a kick out of stupid shit like this. He’s so fucking lucky, too, it’s pissing you off. Among the three of you, he’s the only one who’s kind of in presentable condition.

Once you come close to swatting the device out of his grasp with a jump, Kaiser presses his palm to your face and shoves you away, keeping you at an arm’s length. Then he diverts his attention to Ness, snapping photos of him now and laughing. “You look stupid as hell.”

“Nooo, Kaiser, don’t! Stop!” Ness says, red-faced, to absolutely no avail.

He even takes a few steps back and does a bad job of covering his stomach with his hands while inching towards the bench, which… he makes a genuine attempt at ducking under. This doesn’t deter Kaiser from continuing his paparazzi session or whatever it is that he’s doing, nor does it conceal Ness from view.

You detach your cheek from Kaiser’s hold and announce, “Don’t worry, Ness, I’m gonna save you from the vile pig,” before you take an unnecessary leap and stick your fingers where the shirt is riding up, tickling his sides.

This startles him enough to let go of his phone (the apparatus of evil), sending it flying. You at least have enough decency to catch it, since you’re not really above letting it shatter either. Then you start scrolling through it with the intention of deleting the photos.

It doesn’t take Kaiser long to recover from your attack, and when he does, he reaches out to you. You assume he’s just trying to get his phone, so you kind of twist around to try and prevent him from doing so, but what he does is much worse.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him before collapsing his stupid ass on the bench (which, at this point, has witnessed many horrors), leaving you to sit on his lap. Then — as if this isn’t offensive enough already — he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“God, you’re such a touch-starved freak, it’s actually appalling.”

“You probably won’t look this good in your life ever again.” You roll your eyes at the stupid comment, and he starts tapping the screen along with you, and he even has the nerve to snicker. “I needed to be opportunistic.”

“Whatever, man.”

The weird battle results in a lot of random apps opening and closing, until eventually the gallery comes up on accident. With a feeling of triumph, you slap his hand away, so he won’t get in your way anymore. There you see the long string of pictures depicting Ness’s progression towards hiding under the bench, which, in your opinion, would make a great slideshow. Next are the images featuring you, where you’re looking up at him and struggling to even graze the phone, swiping your fists at thin air. Wow, you never thought you’d see your Great and Almighty Self from such a… pitiful perspective.

Before you can mope about how vertically challenged you are, however, something else catches your eye, and you burst out laughing, borderline dry-heaving from the acuteness of it. “What-”

Kaiser flusters and snatches his phone out of your fingers before pushing you up and away from him. This, for better or for worse, doesn’t wipe your memory or make you unsee the comically large amount of shirtless mirror selfies he has accumulated.

Despite your stumbling, you don’t fall. “How did you always manage to make the exact same pose and exact same expression in every single one of them?! Seriously. That’s spine-chilling.” You pretend to wipe a tear, even if it’s not that funny.

Kaiser doesn’t respond and turns around to toss his phone back to wherever he got it from. Ness — whose presence you kind of forgot about — deems it safe enough to stand up and reemerge. He asks, “What? What did you see?”

“His shrine of himself,” you say. “By the way, I think he’s a stripper.”

“I’m not a stripper,” argues Kaiser as if there was a possibility Ness might believe you.

For the first time, it’s Ness who is pretending Kaiser didn’t say anything. “Did you delete them?”

“No.”

He slumps, disheartened.

You make your way behind him. “Alright, let’s switch back,” you say, rolling up the material of your jersey. Surprisingly Ness accepts the help without any complaints and just accommodates you with a high raise of his hands.

You’re nearing the biggest problem area — his shoulders — when Kaiser deems it fit to intervene. “Ness, bend over. You’re taking too long.”

He does as told and Kaiser, for some godforsaken, idiotic reason, hooks his fingers inside of the collar. But you don’t see that since you’re trying to focus on your part, so instead you just comment on his willingness, “Slutty.”

“S-Shut up- Oh my god, don’t pull like that, what if it tears?!”

“It’s not going to tear.”

This exchange alarms you somewhat, so you shift your gaze to Kaiser, and what greets you is the sight of him tugging on the collar, trying to hoist it over Ness’s head. Your eye twitches. “If you damage mine, I’m gonna make good use of yours. Naturally what I mean by this is that I’ll use it as toilet paper.”

“It’s not going to tear,” repeats Kaiser, yanking harder. Apparently your collective lack of faith in him is vexing him.

… You hear a rip.

___

Happy valentine's day (I wrote this yesterday i was with my boyfriend today lol. He's american so he thinks valentine's day is a real holiday)