Thinking About The Six Months I Will Spend As A Psychopomp As Thanatos’ Apprentice After Percy Is Kidnapped

how can we stop expecting to wake up in cr after shifting attempt?

　how to stop expecting to wake up in your cr ,

well . . . you never 'wake up' in your desired reality. you don't arrive. there is no terminal gate, no sudden cut to black followed by credits rolling on a new world. if you're waiting for the crash, you've misunderstood the flight. but that's semantics. anyways.

shifting isn't an event. it's not a rupture, it's not a lottery win, it's not a punishment or miracle. it's continuity. like breathing, like blinking. what happens when you shift is not that you go somewhere else. it's that you stop arguing with where you are. and by the time you notice, the scenery's already changed.

so you don't wake up in your cr because your cr isn't a separate bedroom you break into once you've behaved enough. your cr is the bed you've always been in. your cr is now. it's here. it's this. but you're still trying to see it through the peephole of your old logic. through scarcity and suspense and the habit of believing everything real has to hurt.

the expectation to 'wake up' comes from the same place as superstition. it's a theatre of reward. you're still expecting it to feel deserved. to arrive with trumpets. to be marked by something. you're still trying to prove something to the doorman in your mind who thinks heaven has a guest list.

but your reality doesn't need fanfare. it doesn't need to knock. it's not late. it's not reluctant. it's not waiting on you to be more visual, more perfect, more devotional. you are not an unpaid intern at the church of quantum theory. you're not performing piety for a state change. you're not a myth. you're a chooser.

so . . . stop expecting to wake up. instead, assume you already did. yesterday. last week. two months ago. during lunch. when you put your phone down. when you said 'this is done.' the moment passed already. you missed it because you were squinting for a sign.

anywho. reality doesn't tap you on the shoulder. it really just expects to reflect something you've given. either the belief that you're here or you're there. your thoughts materialise.

cheers to whoever wrote literally the most perfect angela prompt imaginable

also the time period of this dr is technically the 1950/1960s but like. in a chilling adventures of sabrina and riverdale sort of way. it is retro and modern. there is modern clothing & fashion trends, etc. idk i have a very specific style set in my for myself in this reality and it is definitely not 60s so. yeah

A     TRIPTYCH     FOR

THE DEATH OF PRIDE

 𓊈 𓇖 𓊉

             I. The fall of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Ward

It is the year 1950 and the 26th of July when perhaps the leading family of British wizarding aristocracy—certainly the most elite, the most feared, the most traditional—falls apart because of infighting. The thing about these noble families is that they don’t always get along, isn’t it? Well, the Ward’s infamously never got along. They were quite the dynasty, the first children of the first children always having three to four children per generation, which meant cousins uncles aunts that sometimes never even met. They were not closely knit, like you would see the Malfoy’s, or the Black’s, or the Gaunt’s being. Despite this, they were all known for their pride, their almost obsessive passions, their fickle temper, their dramatics, and their powerful magic—but never known for having similar ideals of politics. It was both their differences and their similarities that caused their end.

On the fifth birthday of the heir, the Ward’s—for the first time in two centuries—were all in the same place, at the same time. The ancestral seat of the Ward’s (which was dubbed “Fools March” after an incident an heir of House Ward had with Merlin) had welcomed the weight of the family’s magics and their horrid attitudes gracefully, and was repaid in Ward fashion. It took a simple, misplaced comment from a cousin to the third uncle of the heir for the family to put on their metaphorical suit and armor—choose which side to take and ready their shields and swords (presumably all metaphorical) to fight. Imagine a baroque battle scene painting. Now imagine enraged and crazed wizards and witches instead of knights and stallions, imagine their swords and spears as wands and flashes of green red white blue magic. Imagine burnt tapestries and carpets and drapes. Imagine broken vases and broken stained glass, burnt wooden floors, and caved down ceilings around them.

What happens when a family filled to the brim with magical prowess and uncontrollable force turn on each other? Well, they turn their ancestral seat into ruins, and themselves into corpses.

             II. The raising of Judith Ward

She is not proud of her surname, Judith. Her mother told her she shouldn’t be, so she isn’t. She is a flower birthed by Fool’s March’s soil, the roots of her name in the first first-child of the first Lord Ward. She was planted on foreign soul at the age of five, by the shaky hands of a young mother that was left family-less, determined to make her child better than all of them. So, Judith Ward isn’t proud of her family. She does not enjoy displays of richness and she does not enjoy her mothers tired eyes. She does not enjoy the thought of her destructive family. She is not proud of her bursts of magic, and she is not proud of the way she looks, because her mother gets that sad look when she says ‘you have your grandfathers face’.

Her mother, beautiful like lilies, withered when her home soil got covered by ash and grime. Judith Ward works hard to make her mother proud. She studies well and does well in school. She has muggle friends, and she goes to the cinema to watch muggle movies. She tells her of the funny future-visions she has, to hear a burst of laughter. She finds little trinkets to fill their little London home with. She doesn’t throw tantrums when she doesn’t get what she wants, because she is not proud, and she refuses to be spoiled. She reads books she likes and talks to her mother about them. She pets stray cats and stays away from stray dogs, as her mother is scared of them. She reads the articles her mother writes on the newspaper, even though some words are too long to understand.

Judith Ward is not proud of her surname, because her family was bad. Judy is proud of her little family, her and her mother, because they are good people. She will grow petals and bloom under the careful and gentle watch of her mother.

             III. (Who will you see in her eyes?)

You will see the budding historian Judith Ward, who intends to keep all her findings, analysis, commentary to herself, thank you very much. It is not a matter of pride━her curiosity has driven her to dabble in the dangerous art of time travel, and she simply wishes to not be sentenced to a Dementor’s Kiss before her first kiss.

You will see a passionate (obsessed) daughter, fascinated by ancient civilizations, obscure historical events, and the concept of time passing. Not fascinated by the future, because she sees it. You will see that she finds joy in little things, and that she could find a little bit of soul and have something sentimental to say about many things. You will see that she has bloomed into a beautiful lily, like her mother. You will see that the once-foreign soil she inhabited, she has turned into a garden. You will see that she has strong magic and a stronger heart and a lot of love. You will see that she is kind, that she is not prideful.

 𓊈 𓅪 ╱ 𓇖 𓊉

 𓊈 𓉳 𓊉

i guess this is my introduction for my second hogwarts dr???? there isn't much about me here but this is like. the vibes. the aura. the atmosphere. heir of a fallen house, slytherin, seer, historian, time-traveler, incredibly sentimental. i am weirdly alia atreides-coded in this dr. from dune: messiah . a bit of “vinsmoke” sanji and nico robin sprinkled in. from one piece . idk its really not as dramatic as i made it sound here i just tapped into my 2021-wattpad-ocxcharacter-fanfic-era energy whilst writing.

more may come about this dr. or maybe not! depends completely on my mood! hope you enjoyed reading!!!

yeaaah sure keep fearing that they won't like you when whatever divine they pray to recites the colors of your irises in fear of being replaced. like your eyes are the only thing that is bound to unmake them.

making intro posts are so difficult 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shifting is for the people who can't fathom living in a world where children are bombed, governments let their civilians sleep on the street because of money, a world in which civilians spend the day hungry while greedy leader host banquets. it is for those whose heart aches seeing children being amputated without anesthesia, having to work in coal mine or in tissue factories because western power had to spread their nasty ideologies everywhere. it is for people who don't want to live in a world in which people have hatred based on race and think of themselves as superior because of theirs. it is for those who appreciate love and cannot fathom one's love being deemed as unpure or the reason why they should receive divine punishment. it is for those who support freedom and cannot stand the incapacity of women being able to navigate in this world without the fear of being raped or killed, and not being able to stand next to a window. for those who can stand male, female, men and women being arbitrary category based on a hasard, it being their only choice and being used as a scapegoat for any problem under the sun because they chose to live as their free selves. it is for those who cannot stand the idea that your monetary status can hinder your opportunities, stops you from being safe, from eating, being educated and achieving your dream. a world where if you're disabled you're isolated because the world is not made accessible for you. this is such a mean world and i refuse to believe that we have accepted all of those things as normal and immuable, things set in stone and that it will never change, this is not the world i wish to spend my 20s, raise my children and grow old in.

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.

couldn’t find a good dune pinterest board so i started making one myself . but if anyone can send me a link to literally ANY dune pin boards .. it would be really really nice of you , just saying 🙂‍↕️

"i'll find you in every universe"