Yes Pls

i should make a low-effort cookbook

like you get those ‘i hate to cook! 101: easy meals for the kitchen novice!’ and it still wants you to make a three-cheese spinach casserole

mine would be like

did you know you can put chocolate chips on a spoonful of peanut butter and obtain the perfect snack

did you know if you crack some eggs into your pasta sauce and stir there’s more protein in it so you can go longer without having to make another goddamn meal

did you know you can mix a cup of cooked rice to any condensed soup instead of water and now you have dinner and breakfast

also put cheese on it

put cheese on fucking everything

and finally here’s a list of things you can microwave in a short enough time that you won’t walk out of the kitchen, go back to bed, fall asleep for four hours, and totally forget you attempted a lunch

Shen Jiu was forced to play accomplish to a number of Wu Yanzi’s scams, playing lookout or distraction and occasionally the retrieval of the treasure as well. But the weirdest and most embarrassing one he had to do was that time he had to take the place of some woman getting married into a noble family. He wasn’t sure how Wu Yanzi learned the route of the bridal procession nor how exactly the switcharoo was pulled off with no one the wiser - the poor bride to be was dumped in the middle of the forest unconscious since even Wu Yanzi didn’t want to take the risk of having her rich family gunning after him for murder - but he was forced into her red wedding gown and veil, did the three bows with the groom, and was promptly sent to the bridal chambers while the groom went off for the feast. In that time of being unattended, Shen Jiu snapped up all the treasures that Wu Yanzi instructed and anything that looked expensive - which was near everything encrusted with gems and made of gold - and ran out of the manor before the groom came back to lift the veil. Wu Yanzi was pleased and needless to say, Shen Jiu tried to forget about that terrible memory immediately.

So imagine his shock and horror when one day, a noble lord comes to Cang Qiong asking for his runaway wife to please return home and not stay anger at him anymore and the man is staring directly at him, the Qing Jing peak lord, making it clear for all just who he’s referring to.

thinking about travelling partners binggeyuan again... bingge staying on alert at night pretending to be asleep because surely shen yuan is also feigning sleep in order to catch him unaware, right? there's no way this man just.. fell asleep a few feet away from the violent demon emperor. he has to be faking this whole "friendly stranger" act in order to lower binghe's guard and then attack.

after they've gone on a few trips together binghe starts viewing shen yuan as a trustworthy companion. One day shen yuan says "I know your birthday is next week but I won't be able to get you alone at your celebration.. here's an artifact that can help you handle xin mo but it breaks after one use so keep it around for when there's no one to uh.. help you during a qi deviation."

bingge falling in love: join my harem

shen yuan: pfft! jokes aside you really shouldnt add a person to your harem the second they do something nice for you! it's great you want to give these women a home and security, but people can take advantage of you that way!

binghe, falling even harder: you ... you're worried about someone taking advantage of me?

fish want me women divorce me

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

if you dont reblog then please leave.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

REBLOG

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️Happy Trans Visibility Day!!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Cultivated animal au

Sqq was originally just a crow that hatched in a very spiritually dense area. He cultivated a bit, but eventually was hit by misadventure.

(a two-toed masquerade sloth was attacked by a wolf and used it's "change animal into other animal" defense mechanism but it hit sqq instead of the wolf)

Anyway he was then a human child and Very Bad At It. Find by Yue qi, plot happens as normal.

Part of why his cultivation is so fucked up is that he established a foundation AS A CROW and human cultivation is fundamentally different.

Part of why he's so reticent and acerbic at cqms is that he doesn't want anyone to know he's not only a slave but a literal animal and he certainly doesn't want to be forcibly changed back.

SQQ sleeps in a box bed that's hidden behind a secret panel in the wall behind his "normal" bed. It has soft grasses and long feathers and tufts of beast hair and a decadent fur on the bottom.

He maintains some of his crow instincts like pulling on tails (hair) of his peers and playing tricks on them and collecting shiny things even ones that are worthless.

I'm not going anywhere with this, I just want him to have an extra layer of hiding who and what he is.

(🥺 and maybe crowjiu sleeping across the hollow of YQY's throat bc it's warm and safe)

“I can fix them” “I can make them worse”

They’re going to fix me AND make me worse

Watching demon slayer with my bestie rn and nezuko is best girl with nothing in her brain (affectionate)