Omfg The Internet RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE SUCKS

Me when I remember that gender exists

Do you ever have have metaphysical sex with someone and then their sister walks in

(shower thoughts✨✨✨✨)

Sharing is caring by celardor

I have this fic idea where a young Shang Qinghua loses his memories. Like there’s a glitch and the system goes down and so does everything that he remembered from his past life with it. Like, if he didn’t have the system he’d basically be dead—instead the system went offline.

But!

It happens while he’s in the Northern Palace, and so Mobei Jun witnesses it.

Maybe SQH is poisoned or something. Like, he risked himself for MBJ’s life or whatever. So MBJ feels responsible for him.

SQH wakes up after this attack with no memories and sees MBJ sitting by his bedside and asks him some questions about what happened and etc. MBJ says something that sparks in SQH’s mind and he instantly latches onto the idea that they’re married.

And MBJ doesn’t correct him. After all, his spy is compromised. There’s nowhere safer for SQH than by MBJ’s side.

And when I say they’re young, I mean barely 21. They’re new to adulthood but have known each other for, like, 7 or so years now.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks and they’re at one of SQH’s safe houses, for reasons SQH doesn’t 100% understand, but he knows it’s to keep him safe. His in-laws are a big bag of dicks and he loves being away from the freezing temperatures for a little bit.

So he goes on a walk one of these days—alone, because his alleged-husband had business to deal with.

Being (fake) married to MBJ is great. He’s a gentleman and obviously cares about SQH a lot. The only thing is that they haven’t been…intimate. They haven’t even kissed! MBJ says he refuses to take advantage and is waiting for SQH’s memories back. It’s annoying. And SQH is coming up with a plan to seduce MBJ when he stumbles across the Luo River and…incidentally…a new born in a basket that’s washed up to shore.

With no system to tell him otherwise, SQH takes the baby home. Names him Shang Binghe and is instantly enamored. He hires an old washer woman from a nearby town to help him. MBJ was not expecting to come back to his fake husband adopting a baby. Especially not a half-demon. (And…wasn’t there a rumor about a heavenly demon and a senior disciple having a tragic romance?) (MBJ did not sign up for this.)

During all of this SQH’s martial family are searching for him, because he’d gone on a diplomatic mission and then…never returned. Which was odd considering how serious SQH was about becoming a Peak Lord.

Meanwhile SQH and MBJ have been playing house with baby LBH and they’re actually happy.

A year later the system comes back online.

mwhahahahahaha

reblog to remind prev they're not a bother and their presence is wanted <3

The more I think about Shen Yuan the more I object to the "he's the nice Shen Qingqiu"

Yes he's nice to the Peak Lords

Yes he's nice to Luo Binghe

Because he likes them

He comes into the role of Shen Qingqiu already thinking of Yue Qingyuan as his big brother and excited to meet Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe (to different extents)

He basically slices Ming Fang with a knife and only stays nice to him after he unlocks OOC because he realise Ming Fang is actually fine when he's not near Luo Binghe and he realises he has the power to influence to him to stop being such a dick

He's nice to Ning Yingying because she's a wife he didn't mind but he's also really dismissive and rude towards her in his head (and all the wives tbh) but he knows how to be polite outwardly

But outside of his little circle that he has already determined he likes? He can be and is mean

Like yeah he thought Shang Qinghua was the original goods when he was tossing demon head spiders at his supposed unconscious form but still he was TOSSING DEMON HEAD SPIDERS AT SOMEONE BECAUSE HE DISLIKED HIM

Like he keeps to convention and he's not rude without reason to new people but he if he doesn't like someone he's an asshole. Most of it is internal because it has to be but when he's Plant Shen he's taunting and snide and acts so fucking weird

Even with Airplane! They are sort of friends but he's a rude little bitch to him! (Which Airplane enjoys)

Shen Yuan is fairly polite as Shen Qingqiu because he is playing an immortal master but mostly because he's usually surrounded by people he actually likes

And he's not as aggressive with strangers as Shen Jiu because he's not working off of Shen Jiu's PTSD

But their baseline is both thorny assholes who nursed on haterade

Shen Yuan just sneakier. HE BEAT UP THE BAI ZHAN DISCIPLES WHO BEAT UP HIS BINGHE BY TRICKING LIU QINGGE TO DO IT FOR HIM

Shen Jiu will tell you he hates you and wants you dead

Shen Yuan will be polite to your face but will dox you online and spread rumours about you that somehow can't be traced back to him

SVSSS fafics are my greatest guilty pleasures I SWEAR, because where else could you find such golden exchanges as this

“I had to churn out four thousand words a day!” Shang Qinghua exclaimed. “If I didn’t write, I didn’t eat!”

“That doesn’t mean you had to cater to every pervert who tipped you!”

“Actually, it does! Perverts are the backbone of the economy!”

(ps:. read: Chapter 742: Unleash the Holy Globes of Justice!! by Margo_Kim It's absolutely amazing. funniest fic you'll find out there)

The crackfic potential of this book is off the charts, actually. AND it's an absolute gold mine for angst as well. What else can one want?? (the most convenient set ups for semi-canon sex pollen shenanigans lol)

It's a pity this is such an underrated mxtx book, but also luckily the newfound puritanism in general fandom culture isn't as prevalent here as in some other super huge fandoms. A win for relatively smaller and more unhinged fandoms ig, gg.

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian knows: his next job is going to be a pain in the ass, he needs to figure out what (if anything) he's going to do for his twenty-two birthday, he has a video call with his sister tonight to discuss the mural he's going to paint in Jin Ling's nursery, and that the little bunny he just picked up from a dingy alley is definitely not a normal animal. No animal has bright golden eyes and a pissed off expression quite like this one. Will he still take it home? Of course.

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian maybe knows: half a dozen purification potions and some talismans for repelling nightmares will likely do, he wants his siblings to be there, his nephew definitely won't get a peacock, he can't just upload a picture of the bunny to the MagiNet and hope that no one comes knocking with the intention of sacrificing the little guy—yeah, he checked—in some strange ritual. So he tells Jiang Yanli and trusts her to spread the word to sensitive people. Meanwhile, he makes sure the bunny is warm, full and rested, and only threatens to eat him a few times. Who can blame him! It's so fluffy, it triggers his cute agression. Also, it could easily be made of cotton candy. No one can really know with magical animals.

Things that Witch!Wei Wuxian definitely doesn't know: his job is about to be interrupted by a strange ass man accusing him of stealing his familiar, that is going to be interrupted by his brother calling him because guess what! His nephew is being born, and the little bunny that has been sleeping in his bed and hearing every thought that crosses his head and following him into the shower is actually a shape shifter. And not even any shape shifter: Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian's old high school crush that turned him down so many times his story still gets told in the School of Magic for Young Practitioners. One Hundred and Thirteen Rejections Wei Wuxian, that's him.

Right up until Lan Zhan accompanies him to the hospital along a magically stunned Su She, who apparently had drugged him to make him stay in his animal form and try to force a familiar bond—which, yes, it's as heinous and illegal as it sounds. Dude is so going to jail. But whatever. The important part: why is Lan Zhan by his side while Wei Wuxian is holding Jin Ling for the first time? And why is he going home with him after? And why is he... confessing... his love for Wei Wuxian... and saying he wants to be his familiar...?

Oh. Oh.

And so they magically bound their souls for eternity. And Su She gets his wand broken as well as his hand by Lan Xichen!

Writing prompt: Everytime someone’s heart stops and starts back up again, they have transmigrated to another world. In a parallel universe where that same person died and their heart didn’t beat again, then THEY transmigrate into the other body