"They Just Replaced Brian Thompson, The Shooter Didn't Change Anything..."

i be like "yeah i was so weird in middle school i liked creepypastas and stuff" and then you look at my search history now and it's mandela catalogue, mouthwashing, bad parenting, ihnmaims and stuff

Welcome to random trending, fellow person

why does mcr randomly start trending every week or so y'all are giving me a heart attack

Yesterday my conservative parents were Shocked and Horrified that the UHC CEO was murdered. Thoughts and prayers etc. I couldn’t make a single joke. It wouldn’t have gone over well. Tragic

Tonight my folks were ranting about how their new insurance denied my dad one medication unless he tried another medication first, then denied that medication because his recent blood tests indicated he didn’t need any medication, never mind that this a direct result of my dad being on the original medication for years

So I chimed in “kinda makes sense that someone went and 86’d the United guy, huh”

And I got to watch the wheels spin in his head for a few seconds before scoffing and saying “yeah. Guess it does”

Seeds are being planted!

*wakes up and immediately checks that the gunman is still at large* oh thank goodness

“the pettiness is strong with this one”

“she petti on my ness till i’m strong with this one”

“what? huh? am i having a stroke?”

“she what on my huh til i’m having a stroke”

“stop.”

person trying to get out of a timeloop but they keep getting brutally murdered by the other person stuck in the timeloop, who is having the most amazing vacation of their life and refuses to leave

they're out here trolling the NYPD w/ fake tips and the cops are so desperate that they're listening lmfao