In Honor Of Valentine’s Day Here’s A Little Snippet From My Current Wip! In Which Remus Has A Very

I think people let JK Rowling's transphobia define her too much, we need to acknowledge her other aspects.

She's also a racist, antisemitic, and a Holocaust denier, we can't forget that!

Water - 364 words

This month’s @wolfstarmicrofic prompts are exercise themed and sooo many of them scream chronic illness to me so here is the first of several chronic illness microfics! This one featuring dysautonomia (: CW for implied internalized ableism.

All Remus can think is that he needs water. He’s overheated, sweat leaking from every pore. He’s dizzy, lightheaded, can barely think straight. All he can think is he needs to sit. He needs to cool off, needs to breathe, he can’t breathe.

But he and Sirius need food. He convinces himself he can handle paying for the groceries. Remus slumps forward, forearms resting heavily on the handlebar of the cart, head ducked, steps slowing to a snail’s pace.

He’s fine. He can do this.

The fog is already permeating his brain, replacing healthy gray matter with empty gray mist. It’s hot in here. He needs to pay. He can’t think.

Remus is clumsy in his scanning and bagging. He’s dizzy. He places the bags into the cart, ignoring the way his heart and lungs and shoulders scream, and heads straight for the door.

The chilly air hits Remus’s skin. It makes him sweat more. He hasn’t put his coat back on, carrying it instead.

When he reaches his car, he tosses the groceries inside carelessly. Despite how unsteady he feels he forces himself to walk to the cart corral and put his cart away.

Finally Remus folds himself into the driver’s seat, head falling against the steering wheel as he tries to breathe.

Five minutes pass, then ten; Remus only feels worse.

He hates himself for even considering it–hates himself more for doing it–but there aren’t many other options.

He reaches for his phone with shaky hands.

“Hey baby, what’s up? On the way home yet?” Sirius’s voice is energetic, excited, loving.

All Remus can manage is a little whimper.

Sirius’s tone changes instantly to worry, concern, still love. “Baby? Are you alright?”

“Feel sick,” mutters Remus.

“Should I come get you?”

Remus hasn’t even begun to consider answering when he hears the jingle of keys through the phone.

He sighs, then whimpers again. Sirius takes it as the yes it (reluctantly) is.

“Be there in ten, Moons. Deep breaths, okay? Remember, you have water in the glovebox.”

Remus manages some pathetic sound and the line goes quiet.

He pulls out the water he had forgotten about.

Sirius is coming.

He’ll be okay.

um excuse me what the FUCK oh my god????? 😭😭

Sirius who is back at The Ancient and Noble House of Black after his 4th year at Hogwarts, rummaging around at the extensive family library for more information about Werewolves to be more aware of his best friend (ahem unofficial love of his life ahem)'s "condition", when he comes across a book, almost 350 pages by how thick it was.

“Experimented to the Bone: Field-Tested Methods to Cripple a Werewolf During and Beyond the Full Moon”

He winced at the title, that was definitely not what he wanted to learn but as he moved to place it back in the shelf, he came across a familiar name.

"By Lyall Lupin"

Sirius paused, because surely not. It surely could not be the same Lyall Lupin, who was Remus's father. But Lupin was not a common name, nor was Lyall. Fuck.

He opened to the first page, to view the year it was published.

"1969"

That was after Remus was born. Like him, he was born in 1960. Every second after he picked the book from the shelf, Sirius fought back bile coming up his throat.

Authors note

As someone who has worked in the "Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures" department of the Ministry of Magic, it has been my great pleasure to write and publish this book myself. For years, Werewolves have been a prime obsession of mine. I've been studying ways and techniques on how to weaken them and then, by Merlin's grace, I was granted an opportunity to study them closely every day, in and out of a full moon for 4 years. And to whomever it may concern, this book is my greatest creation.

As To the viewers' discretion, please be aware. These methods have been experimented on a much weaker Werewolf. The doses and measurements given in the book can be adjusted to higher doses based on the size and age of the creature.

Taking harsh breaths he quickly flips through the book, catching small sentences

"Sew Silver threads along their clothes"

"Stir wolfsbane in their water and let sit"

"Sprinkle small doses of wolfsbane in their food to keep them weak throughout the day"

"When locked in, the creature harms itself during a full moon, be reminded to use cages and shackles made from Silver instead of regular Iron"

The book dropped to the floor. And Sirius heaved on the library floor, much to the dismay of Kreacher who appeared instantly to clean it and then disappeared.

He couldn't breathe, he cried, and he stayed there, almost paralyzed for hours before Regulus came looking for him who took a look at the title and the first page before he dropped down next to his brother to pull him to his chest.

And then Sirius couldn't seem to stop moving his mouth between his cries. Things along the lines of, "His own father" or "He never told us" or "Does he even know?", "Why is he dead, i wanna kill him", "1969 Reggie, he was a child", "I knew he despised his dad, never knew why......i wish i didn't know"

And what was Regulus to do except weep with his brother.

Oooh. Pain au please 💙

ooh yes i was a bit nervous about this one.

this is very much still in the planning stages, i’ve written a little 150 word snippet but the rest is just brainstorming. basically the premise is remus has a fantasy version of fibromyalgia/tactile allodynia and anyone he touches experiences that pain too. i’ve done a lot of Thinking about this one—mapping my own pain onto remus, aligning his backstory in the fic with his canon backstory—and i am definitely going to write it. i’m not 100% sure if it will ever see the light of day though. it’s by far the most personal thing i’ve ever even considered writing, drawing really heavily from my own experience of those illnesses, so i’ll have to wait and see if i feel alright with sharing it publicly.

(and yes it will have wolfstar too haha it’s just a lot less fluffy than my others)

 ﹟random get-to-know-me ask game  !! 

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

Sirius waking Remus up with the sweetest birthday kiss to his forehead and Remus humming in acknowledgement and letting Sirius know he's awake so now Sirius is kissing all over his face telling him happy birthday and that he loves him between each kiss and Remus scrunching his face up and giggling.

FINISHED DRAFTING CHAPTER 4 OF LOTF ‼️‼️ i just need to edit it now!! gonna try to cut some stuff because it is…Long.

Saying that Dumbledore had to trick, force, coerce, manipulate, or anything else along those lines to get the marauders to join the Order of the Phoenix hugely takes away the marauders powerful desire to fight fascism, and their disdain for Voldemort’s rhetoric and those that followed it.

Those are core tenants of who they are.

They, and the rest of the Order, signed up as adults to fight an ideological war that would see the people they loved and cared about killed or, frankly, worse.

“What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Black, with a terrible fury in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter!"

hii :) for the ask game 🥺 & 🛒 pls <3

hello! sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this <3

ask game here if you’d like to ask me something!

🥺 - Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

yes, definitely, and i think it’s a lot of the same things that get me as a reader too. caretaking, especially when it’s remus’s chronic illness. accommodating each other’s needs like it’s second nature because they know each other so well, whether that’s something major like helping with mental illness or disability symptoms or something minor like grabbing their favorite snack at the grocery store. remus blushing and hiding and sirius trying to coax him out of hiding. all sappy things really lmao

🛒- What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

ummm i will once again mention remus blushing HAHA and just getting flustered/being pathetic generally. not so much in brtc but in lotf and my other wips. obviously disabled/chronically ill remus. usually i write fluff so i will say it’s a common theme, but not always. hmm this is hard. i don’t think about this stuff much to be honest! i fear this may be a boring answer but hopefully you still enjoy it haha

thanks for the asks xx

sunday snippetttttt

@madefortherain thanks for the tag love!

here’s a bit of lotf ch 4! getting a bit more into remus’s disability this chapter (:

It’s a bit embarrassing how well she knows him and his flare-ups by now—the kind of knowledge that only comes from seeing him at his lowest time and time again, helping him through it time and time again. But stronger than the shame is the warm glow of being loved, the reminder of how many times he’s crashed serving equally as a reminder that she’s stayed every single time. That through the passing phases of boyfriends and girlfriends and platonic friends, Lily is the one person who has never left his side.

cannot for the life of me remember who has already joined so apologies if any of you have already! but np tagging @1ftinreality @languagelessonswolfstar @brandileigh2003