Actually I Have A LOT Of Stuff About Songs And Syd And Roger

actually i have A LOT of stuff about songs and syd and roger

well, finally, the solemn occasion for which we have gathered here. let's discuss why i personally think that roger waters is 101% bisexual.

perhaps, let's start in order. teenage hormones associated with sexual desire begin to appear during school. i like to let you imagine situations, so imagine yourself back in the shoes of a boy in the 50s. his mother intimidated him with her strong character; adults around him believe that even mentioning sex is the height of indecency. nobody talks about this at all. there are no girls, the school you study at is strictly for boys and, accordingly, your first conversations about any sexual contact are only with boys. this closed male space becomes the motif for Empty Spaces, where waters reveals his fear of women. he was afraid of them because he was afraid of any intimacy with them, he was afraid to even imagine it, as i said earlier, women for him are like wild predators wanting to tear him apart. guys will be a more familiar experience, less scary, oh, and you all know what often happened in english boys' schools, yes (i'm not talking about anything mega sexy, it's just about exploring your sexuality). in his situation, i can’t say for sure, but i’m more inclined to believe that at school he had nothing but shameful curiosity. all the same, he was terribly pressed and everyone humiliated him. it’s unlikely that he would have even done something like that then.

let's move on. in general, let's talk about another very important psychological aspect, which left him with food for thought for many more years. Syd. imagine roger, who is ashamed of any intimate action, who is dependent on other people's opinions, is insanely tense and always attacks someone with aggression if they say something that seems offensive to him, and imagine syd, who is not afraid to expirience, he is not afraid of sex, he is not afraid to talk about sex, he does not need to listen to the people around him to know who he is and what he wants from his life. he's incredibly free. roger admires this freedom. i think he was openly surprised at this side of barrett more than once. even now, he talks insanely often about how much he and syd talked about things that he didn’t understand then.

and in fact, yes, syd greatly influenced his life. syd never needed roger to pretend to him like waters did with his other friends. syd never needed roger to be right about everything or for everything to work out for him. syd just loved being around him and knowing that roger was listening to him and that syd had something to share with him. he loved that sometimes roger is very emotional or very sensitive and he never judged him for that. i think their sheer revelation to each other is what made roger obsess over him. he could have chosen anyone to talk about all his life and write songs about, even his girlfriend or wife, but he chose syd because he treated roger equally, honestly and openly.

you might think it was some weird jump from talking about sex to talking about feelings, but it's roger's sexuality that we're talking about. and his sexuality certainly includes sex AND feelings.

i'll also clarify that i don't want to say that they had any kind of sexual contact, but i believe that at least once he really thought that maybe if it was syd of all, he wouldn't be against. roger is very sensual and emotional and he is very confused about his sexual feelings, he was one hundred percent just as confused about syd. the “i'm a homosexual” moment didn’t make the situation any better either.

and what roger described in Incarceration of a flower child is an incredibly intimate moment. he remembers it. this is what he wants to remember when he thinks about syd. when it was just the two of them, lying on pillows and discussing baby names. and the way he grabs onto this moment, afraid to let it go - this is also very significant. i mean, he deeply loved him, kinda romantically, kinda friendly. there are many examples of songs that can prove this if you think a little, but i won't do that here, it's already a long post.

when syd left, this whole long process of his “leaving” made roger angry. i can only compare this to when a wife’s husband dies and she begins to ask herself “why did he do this to me? why did he leave me?” (i have an example of real people with whom this situation happened). roger also likes to direct everything towards himself, of course it was syd who left him, not pink floyd. syd made them famous, they were being pressured to write a new album, and syd just decided that he was leaving. and roger didn’t need excuses for why this happened, he saw it as if he was simply left to deal with all the problems. and so he feels sad, because he feels sad he gets angry and you get the idea. but the anger passes. and he understands that he misses him and syd was very, very important to him. and then the realization comes that it was he who was selfish in this situation.

and when sid leaves he becomes who he was again. he is unsure of himself, he is waiting for approval, he cannot improve his sex life (in some way) because there is simply something missing in it.

he is kinda bisexual.

he will never admit it because he doesn't think it's anyone's business. he doesn't admit it because he's still closed and he still can't agree with himself. after all, even if he had thoughts and even fantasies, he was always ashamed of them because for society it was shameful then. and he was dependent on it.

you can agree or disagree, i am not claiming to be his sex psychologist, i am simply writing this as my own thoughts and conclusions.