Thinking About The Time I Fainted And After Managing To Get Up With My Friends Help I Walked Up To My

being told you look like shit is weirdly validating. like at first it’s a bit hurtful but then i’m like…you can see it??? YOU CAN SEE IT????

i always feel bad thinking i would prefer having a weelchair some days

i would never say it out loud because i know it would be an invonvenience and people already look at me weird for using a cane, but i would actually just be able to do things whenever i want to...

hypothetically in how much pain would i have to be in order for it to be okay to tell people to fuck off? because i am close

me: "i'm so fatigued and my brain fog is pretty bad"

healthy person: "stop complaining, i'm tired too"

your "tired" is not the same as my fatigued! sleep won't cure me, this is not how it works!

they CANCELLED the cardiologist appointment i was waiting for for OVER HALF A YEAR!

i was waiting for over an hour just to have someone come up to me to tell me they have to cancel and that i should call in 3 weeks to make a new appointment

the medical system is fucking bullshit and neglectful

being chronically ill it's so difficult to not dismiss healthy people struggleing with a short time illness

like "i'm sorry you got a cough, i have to make big adjustments to my everyday life to not regularly faint" is not the answer i wanna give others

saying "oh you're tired cause you stayed up on tiktok for too long? i didn't sleep at all cause of how much pain i was in" isn't empathetic

it's just hard not to compare my suffering to others seemingly minor issues

i always need to remind myself that this isn't minor to them, no matter how i might feel about it... i refuse to loose my empathy in addition to everything else i have to limit

i think younger me would be disappointed, but current me is just grateful for the opportunities i have

i just went climbing today which is something that will probably send me into a flare up, but omg it was so much fun...

i wish i could do things like that without consequences

i know i shouldn'r be but i am kinda scared to use my cane out in public alone... i just use it with someone i trust around

love the random wave of nausea that hits me multiple times a day /s