Mothernaturessilverseed-blog - Be Where Your Feet Are

I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm. I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough. I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough. It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else.

[Verse 1]

I'm afraid of the way that I live my life I'm afraid of the way I don't I'm afraid of the things that I wanna do but I won't

I'm afraid of God I'm afraid to believe And I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I made leave I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore

I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die And I'm afraid of the mob mentality That makes otherwise normal people go blind I'm afraid of the way the world works And I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert

[Chorus 1]

But the Big Red Bird that lives under the city Doesn't give a damn about me And it dies every night By burning alive

[Verse 2]

I'm afraid of my grandfather's cancer And I'm afraid of my mom's dying arm I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough

[Chorus 2]

It's harder to be yourself Than it is to be anybody else I wish I were a little less of a coward But the Big Red Bird that lives under the city Doesn't give a damn about me And it dies every night So I bought a knife I am a knife I am a Knife Man

Happy birthday to lily tomlin I just want to use this moment to thank her humongous brain for realizing she can use her stutter girl schtick to get away with saying the gayest shit on television

Here is how I spend my days now. I live in a beautiful place. I sleep in a beautiful bed. I eat beautiful food. I go for walks through beautiful places. I care for people deeply. At night my bed is full of love, because I alone am in it. I cry easily, from pain and pleasure, and I don't apologize for that. In the mornings I step outside and I'm thankful for another day. It took me many years to arrive at such a life.

— Ottessa Moshfegh, Eileen: A Novel (Penguin, August 18, 2015)

It’s the fall of the Roman Empire for me. But also the interview I think this is referencing is really terrible.

Long tailed field mouse; mouse facing to front, eating a berry, surrounded by leafy overgrowth. 1854 Watercolour, over graphite by Jemima Blackburn. Credit: © The Trustees of the British Museum

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