Mad Dragon God

Demon Of Pain - Day... ?

I had an odd experience yesterday.

I helped my sister move into her new apartment. 2-3 hours hours in and my body started flaring up (well, I had already needed to submerge my hands in very hot water to get them to hurt less and be less stiff twice. But this time it was my back and the rest of my body.)

So I biked home, parked my (public) bike. I had to walk 2-3 blocks. The entire way there I was hit urges to claw at the pain in my back by my shoulder blades, and couldnt stop doing it. Or to press my hands on the muscles, hard. When trying not to claw at it, I'd stim very obviously with my hand(s). This might sound rude, but I felt like ppl looked at me and saw an addict on a bad trip.

I was breathing weird, through clenched teeth in a permanent open-mouthed grimace. Sounded a bit almost darth vader-y. I'd bare my teeth, but there was nothing to bare my teeth at. I'd snarl at nothing. Start to hiss and then try to stop cause I was still in public. Kept having the words "fuck off" repeat over and over in my head. I dont even know how to describe what I was feeling emotionally. It felt. Barely lucid? But at the same time very aware. Like my brain was getting blinded by the light of my pain.

As I kept walking I kept doing these more. Not cause I wanted to. I just couldn't stop.

I got home and prepared a hot shower—by the time I was in the bathroom I had started repeatedly hissing "fuck off" repeatedly out loud.

Eventually it all stopped in the shower.

I know it was all just cause I was overwhelmed with the pain, but it honestly felt like I was having a fucking fit. It was horrible.

Ended up doodling it a bit in my journal and remembered a really old piece of art similar to what I drew.

Demon Of Pain - Day 1

Going thru withdrawal again. Day 1 without seroquel (a sedative). Wish my sanity luck cause my insomnia came back with a vengeance.

Drew this when I got off of effexor almost a year ago.

My fibromyalgia is a bitch to deal with when it comes to withdrawal. Last time I was often bed bound for a month and then after gradually got my strength back while dealing with less withdrawal symptoms, and at the time I felt like I had lost my sanity. That my mind had fractured from the pain.

It's taken months and therapy to get where I am now. I'm stronger for it. I know I can make it through this, and I know what to do when I get overwhelmed now.

Still. Not looking forward to the upcoming breakdowns.

I'll most likely be posting a lot to the void on this account during this time btw, cause thats what I did last time (on a different site that my family follows so fuck that this time around). It helps for some reason.

Welcome to the Demon of Pain series where you'll be following this demon in its natural habitat... pain 😌

you’re valid if your divinekin identity isn’t spiritual, and you’re valid if you’re agnostic or atheist. it’s ok if you don’t fully understand your divine identity, or if you don’t really understand it at all.

you don’t have to explain every intricacy of your identity. you’re allowed to just… be.

hello !!! angelkin here who’s recently been reawoken to this part of me. in most ways i feel like i was some sort of eyeless, formless sort of humanoid. like a being composed of light, almost like the very rough sketch of a figure in an oil painting, lines and all. i also know in heaven i had very large wings that could wrap around two different beings at the same time! though they were severed when i fell to earth. sorry for the rambling !

Oooooo your being sounded so majestic!! And cool!! (And a little bit terrifying but I mean that lovingly)

That wingspan!! Damn! I'm jealous 👀 I remember my wings being pretty small most of the time or not there at all until I shifted them (bonus of being a demon was formshifting/shapeshifting).

I'm sorry you no longer have your wings at the moment.

I'm delighted that you rambled to me, and I will absolutely draw you!

To whomever it may be relevant;

You are a delightful horror beyond comprehension. Spread your wings, grant forbidden knowledge with your gaze, and allow your hymn to soothe and frighten.

From a lady of delusion, to a beautiful horror such as you, you are not of my domain nor are you my acolyte; regardless of what you are told by another or by yourself. You are Great and you are Correct and you are Magnificent.

Felt like trying to be motivational/conforting tonight.

Hello! I saw you post that you had your asks open to draw us? If that is still the case I'd love it if you'd doodle me! Your be the first to do so besides myself.

I am mostly humanoid, but whit bird-like disintegrate legs. I also have 5 eyes, one in the middle of my forehead like a typical third eye, and one just under each normal eye. I have clawed hands, and an unspecified amount of feathered wings, mostly collected around the neck. Besides that I have medium length crully hair and honestly look prity basic😅 I also may or may not have a feathered tail, like a bird. But if you diside to draw me it is up to you to choose if you wand to add that or not

Hi! I've started on your drawing! And I'm gonna continue, but I'd just like to know whether I got the eyes and hair (and face in general) right or if I need to adjust them! ... also is there any clothing u want? If not, imma cover the lower half with feathers strategically.

(And don't worry there will be more wings)

Sick of rainy days, dripping down my face everything is grey (cause I've been not okay)

Spent over 3 hours making 2 curry dishes (for the first time) and one of them turned out weirdly grainy cause the recipe I used recommended way too much of a quantity of spice and im 😭 my back hurts so much rn from spending so much time on this and it ain't even that gratifying oh my god

soup

some of the rawest lines Ren wrote