🖤❤️‍🔥🖤

Night’s Gaze, 2023 - oil on wooden panel. — Annie Stegg Gerard (American, b.1982)

https://www.gallerygerard.com/

"Conventions"/Events where I *have* Caught the Vid.

-Band Concert (I should have took my own mask in)

-Pokemon Card Collector Con (I ronic)

"Conventions"/Events where I *have not* Caught the Vid.

-Dragon*con (because I wore a mask all weekend)

-Goth Music Festivals (I have not wore a mask because I overheat when dancing, and why would I go if not to dance???)

Just pointing out that my Goth Community is Amazing!

Hey i’m a fashion design student so i have tons and tons of pdfs and docs with basic sewing techniques, pattern how-tos, and resources for fabric and trims. I’ve compiled it all into a shareable folder for anyone who wants to look into sewing and making their own clothing. I’ll be adding to this folder whenever i come across new resources

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16uhmMb8kE4P_vOSycr6XSa9zpmDijZSd?usp=sharing

Why is it I need to deregulate my system from a shock literally an hour before I'm planning to go out?

TWICE NOW! I've had unpleasant experiences within hours of me needing to get ready to go somewhere.

THREE TIMES NOW! Someone has shown up at my door uninvited and scared the shit out of me.

Knock it off, Universe!!!

Hi! This is out of the blue, but I saw your tags on the post that said "so normal people don't have whole conversations in their heads?" and this question is actually one I've been trying to figure out an answer to for a decade, to some success. The inside of everyone's brain looks different and sounds different, and their thoughts process in different ways. This is all anecdotal, but a few examples:

Typewriter to process verbal thoughts + never-ending checklist (my mother, who has clinical anxiety)

Music and noise 24/7, thoughts tumbling over one another, and a literal conscience that was present during his childhood & who could talk, who kept his impulses in check (my brother, who has ADHD and struggled with authority as a child)

A library arranged in self-contained hexagonal shelves, 6 levels each, 6 books per shelf - to think and recall information was to grab books from around the library. Conversations with own self would absolutely happen up there (an old friend).

Much like my brother, I experience music and noise, radio static/a constant earworm, and I have a full sensory memory + think verbally in first person. My thoughts tumble over one another incessantly like a water wheel, and since my thought process is largely verbal, it's like listening to two sentences superimposed over one another. It's too disorganized to properly capture. I have ADHD also.

GENERALLY, more neurotypical individuals will just say that they can hear their own first-person voice in dialogue, and little else - so, ironically, having whole conversations in your own head with yourself is actually the most common mental trait I've noticed throughout the years I've asked people about this.

There's absolutely a range of internal thinking in which "normal" exists. Have you ever heard the question, "Do you think in pictures, words, or out loud?" Some people say one, some people say a mix. For a lot of people, that ACTUALLY describes a large chunk of their experience without any additional complexity. But if you dig deeper, certain patterns start to emerge otherwise. ADHD minds tend to be "loud," to the extent that it sometimes makes it hard to think even if it's dead silent. Like, genuinely, our internal lives are just characterized by noise. Some autistic friends I've spoken to about this have much more rigidly organized minds - think mind palaces with an emphasis on patterns and predictability. Anxiety? Getting hung up on the same thought over and over again, or, you know, constantly skimming that internal check list. Those conversations with yourself maybexist in those fringe settings, but most people have conversations with themselves. It's all the other stuff that marks an unusual internal world - the constant noise, or the doom loops, or the rigid order, so on and so forth.

But TL;DR, having conversations with yourself is actually as normal as it gets, at least anecdotally. That's just thinking verbally lol

Oh! I am all here for the mind exploration!

I definitely get pictures and very persistent earworms (I helped Skeleta get to #1, I am certain of it).

I am always purposefully vauge because I don't know how people will react. Also, I have not been actively pursuing a diagnosis yet, so I do not want to falsely claim. A lot of stuff just makes so much sense, though.

That is, however, due to a medical phobic family growing up.

I'm just interested in understanding what of me expresses to others my mental load? If that makes sense?

I literally watched Float 30 mins ago. My eyes are still not dry.

Crossing the river 🐈‍⬛🌿

Me, alone in the kitchen, cleaning: I just had the best Tattoo Idea!

Also Me: It's 2 Tattoos!

FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (1998)