Mors Speaks

Vent post not something I usually do but I can't really talk about it with my family so I might as well jettison it out into the gaping maw of the internet.

I'm... happy to be adopted. I really truly am. I'm lucky to have the second chance at life I was given even if it came with its own issues. I'm painfully aware of how easily I could have become a statistic. I don't miss my blood family at all and they certainly don't miss me.

It doesn't mean I don't wish I could have someone to ask questions. Finding diagnosis for my mental health, being in and out of all kinds of therapy, being asked over and over again if there's any genetic history of mental disorders. I can't answer that. I couldn't tell you. My half brother had adhd and went off his meds before I was born. My mother claimed she had bipolar disorder once upon a time. But I have to take that with a grain of salt because I couldn't tell anyone if that was the excuse to hide the symptoms of her drug addiction or if the drug addiction was a symptom of her trying to self medicate her bipolar disorder.

How do you explain that the signs of a family at full mental decay are there but you're so far removed, that the situations of your childhood and the existing structure of your entire blood family are so toxic you couldn't tell a rumor or an insult from the truth?

My adoptive family has pictures dating back to the Victorian era. Thousands of beautiful connections to their family history. Windows into where what came from. Who passed down the nose or the eyes or the smile. I look at them and the history I was taken into but not apart of and I just.

I can only say that I grew up starving, digging through trash for food, that I am missing chunks from my childhood memories that speak of horrors I don't know whether to be grateful not to remember or devastated to be left with the symptoms and no root cause to address. I grew up not so much raising myself but trying to survive in the most basic ways. I just.

I want to know what's wrong with me so I can help myself in the ways those around me failed to do. I want to get it under control I want to understand what's wrong before I somehow end up in the same cycle I've tried desperately to escape for years. I want to be better than the blood running through my veins.

Hi, it's the pillow fort Polypa anon! I just wanted you to know how much I loved the story! It filled me up with so much warmth! You're such a wonderful writer, thank you again!

Oh gosh thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad you enjoyed the fic anon! If you have any more requests or ideas feel free to slide back in and I'll get to them the moment I have the chance. It was really fun to write for Polypa again!

Please for the love of god. I have so many fics to finish and update.

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

So for personal reference seeing how popular Lucky Shot https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/681458733944061952/lucky-shot?source=share

Is does anyone want me to continue it? I have some ideas but I'm also open to suggestions. Honestly I'm pleasantly surprised by how popular it's gotten! It's given me a few ideas for some different pairings using the same premise. But that's another thing entirely lol. Just super curious if people feel it's a better stand alone fic or if people want a continuation.

Another request! Reader loses a bet and has to be Marvus' PA(personal assistant) for a day while he's doing work stuff. Or maybe a bet with his main manager to see how long they could last/ keep him in check during a packed day. Take this where ya want. ~♦️ Anon

Its up now! So sorry about the long wait and thank you for your patience! Hopefully its what you wanted but if not feel free to slide into my inbox again.

Haha nice

As a twosday 2/22/22 special Homestuck is trending at #2 for the 2nd time in 2022

I have a one shot or two to post after work today so wish me luck on getting home in time to do anything more than crash face first into the nearest soft object for some much needed sleep.

Also im considering adding more to my Fandom list and finally creating my "don't write" list after receiving a very... interesting... ask. Imma be real honest I didn't know that was a kink and I'm the first to admit I'm into some weird shit. So congrats to that person for completely blindsiding me with that reality! Sorry I can't fill your request but good luck in finding someone willing. I'm sure they've gotta be out there!

happy homestuck day you fuckers, i've tried to escape this hell for years, as you can see i've not succeeded. fuck.