ABOUT THE BLOG

happy homestuck day you fuckers, i've tried to escape this hell for years, as you can see i've not succeeded. fuck.

Mors Speaks

One of these days I'm just gonna go feral and write self indulgent X Reader fics of my favs but Marvus simps are still here and must be fed. They are appreciated deeply but this is not a Marvus only blog and I am one free moment away from screaming into the abyss about my favs. Which probably won't get as many likes or reblogs but they're self indulgent for a reason lol. But worry not because I am always taking requests and asks for writing especially because the ideas thrown my way are serotonin in these crazy ass times.

Thank you to everyone slowly trickling into my inbox with requests. I love you all even if it's taking me literal years to get shit posted. I love being able to pop into my inbox and see more requests its honestly so fun. I'm slowly working on your guys' requests when I get the free time so keep sending more!

So far I've been working on:

Professor Kukui smut. Not an x reader but honestly it's such a lovingly detailed absolutely filthy request I can't wait to get it posted.

Standoffish!Reader x Gamzee

Marvus x Reader fluff. It's so sweet guys!

Mallek x Reader one-shot. Not specified the ask just says "Mallek x Reader pls?".

TMNT!Mikey x Artist!Reader

Platonic!Quicksilver x Reader. ANON IDK YOU BUT WE ARE KISSING. KISSING I TELL YOU.

Nightcrawler x Reader request that was literally just "I'm here to enable you. Give me a Nightcrawler x Reader so indulgent you wouldn't even show your friends." I think it is the same anon who sent the platonic Quicksilver request and I want you to know we're married now. The honeymoon draws near. I am signing over all my wordly assets amen.

homestuck is old enough to start playing sburb today...... incredible

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

RB if you think CD drives in computers are not obsolete, but in fact still necessary, despite being artificially phased out

The Tweet

You were going to fucking kill that clown. Marvus had honked his last horn, you were actually going to end up in jail for killing a celebrity and it was this fool. All because he’d done the one thing you both agreed not to do. The one thing you swore up and down to his PR team that wouldn’t happen. Staring down at the tweet and watching the count of likes and retweets climb you could feel your blood pressure rise in sync with it. A simple dumbass selfie you had sent Marvus in pesterchum of all things was going viral. Alarmingly so. People were losing their mind over it. With good reason. Your anonymity had been tossed out the window like an empty can down a school hallway. Marvus was dead to you now. It was a pity because the caption he’d replied with was very sweet. The type of thing that you two teased each other with in private. And that was the key word wasn’t it? Private. 

You’d been doing your thing downtown when you spotted one of his new posters on display and because you knew Marvus would think it was hilarious you’d scribbled a mustache on it and posed for a selfie. One of you sticking your tongue out as he liked to in the majority of photos with the caption ‘I didn’t know you were growing a mustache’ and a little emoji heart. Lovingly mocking him because you knew you could. The type of shit you usually sent each other to make the other laugh. The problem was that he had saved the picture and uploaded it to chittr. Of course it wasn’t the first picture he’d ever uploaded of you or both of you doing something stupid. It was the type of content that was fairly common to see on both your timelines. There was an embarrassing picture of you brushing your teeth with toothpaste foam everywhere and a rats nest on his account he’d lovingly referred to as ‘rabid human free to a good home’. Only this time Marvus had confirmed the one question you both had agreed to leave well enough alone for your sake and the sanity of his PR team. You could feel the headache forming as you sat on your couch in your own house and plotted how exactly you were going to wring his neck when he towered above you. Surely his PR team would give you a boost in this hypothetical situation. Tagora would, of course, be your defense attorney when you went on trial. It’d be a short trial with you coming away claiming innocence and taking every penny that used to belong to Marvus as compensation. Only fair in such a situation. You’d even be benevolent and split the fortune with his team and sympathetic band mates. Taking a deep breath you picked up your phone again. Opening Chittr you avoided looking at the now famous tweet as you slid into Marvus’ private chat and stared down, unsure what the hell you were going to say. 

‘Hey Marvus what the fuck?’

‘ayyy bby whts up?’

‘Youre causing a scandal Marvus what the fuck.’

‘???’

There was a moment of complete radio silence and you realized just at the same time Marvus did what exactly happened. 

‘oh fxck’

He’d meant to forward that to his band and had instead uploaded your selfie and ‘flushed as fxck for dis mean lil criminal mf’ to chittr. The disbelieving laugh that left you was hideous and heartfelt as you put your head in your hands and wheezed. The PR team and Tagora were going to kill you both. If Marvus’ rabid fans didn’t get you first. 

‘if your fans kill me I’m coming to haunt your ass’

‘fair’

Dear god you were actually in a relationship with this moron. You couldn’t wait to smack him and kiss his dumbass face when he inevitably showed up at your door.

Happiness Will Come To You.

Together

Despite the fact the two of you were of a completely different species, you could safely say that you and Polypa had one of the closest relationships you possibly could have. It was why she had followed you across the vacuum of space and time, through countless realities, and had somehow yet again found you. She was someone you treasured above all. In this reality, where cultures mixed and divided and fought, you tried your best to do what she needed. There were times as a moirail you felt quite helpless- and others you felt at your element. Gathering every pillow, blanket, and sheet in your house as you headed towards your room was one of those ‘in your element’ days. Tossing the blankets onto the floor you stripped your bed and proceeded to empty out the floor of your closet. After years of doing all this your closet floor was decidedly bare- a few shoes and boxes and some clothes that had slipped off their hangers. Polypa wouldn’t care about the mess stacked next to your bed- what would matter would be the inside of the closet. A warm enclosed space filled with the scent of you. The first layer was the fitted sheets, pinning them to the floor so they stretched out, this was important for the mess you’d both make later. The second layer was the couch cushions and then the thin sheets. An elevated platform so you weren’t sleeping on the literal floor. You’d learned the hard way that it would hurt your back to continuously do that. From there you draped the duvets over the entire mound before putting the more comfortable pillows down. By the time the entire thing was done it looked like a nest. Perhaps the closest thing you could create to a feels jam pile. Wiping off your hands you gave it one more look over before leaving your bedroom. She had said she’d be there soon- which for Polypa was as vague as either an hour or five minutes. Passing by the thermostat you turned the heat up slightly before continuing to the kitchen. Tossing the popcorn into the microwave you rooted around in the fridge for some sodas.

“What movies are we watching tonight?”

“Jesus!”

You jumped whipping around to find Polypa sitting on your counter. Giving you a mischievous grin she continued to wind her usual bandages around one of her legs.

“Well?” She asked after you had calmed down.

“We’re watching The Notebook and Where The Lovely Indigo Attempts To Start A Matespritship With A Cavalreaper Unaware That They Are The Moirail To Their Kismesis Who Wishes To Pursue A Red Relationship With Them.” You personally hated how long troll movie names were, always a mouthful that was more the synopsis of the movie than leaving anything to surprise. Then again you appreciated they were up front about the plot. Humming appreciatively Polypa tucked the remaining bandage away and hopped off the counter.

“Subbed or dubbed?”

“There’s options for both.”

“Good.”

“We’re watching The Notebook first.”

“Why?”

“Because your movie is four hours long.” You deadpanned earning an unrepentant grin.

“Well if that’s the case then we’re watching Alternian anime tonight too.”

“Troll Naruto?”

“Troll Guren Laagan.”

“I hate you.”

“Pale for you too.” She looked entirely too smug as she grabbed the popcorn, dumping it into the large olive green bowl you had out. She knew that the show always made you cry- even worse than the human Guren Laagan did. Following behind her with your drinks you couldn’t help but smile despite that. You’d both be crying by the time the credits rolled but at least you’d be enjoying the time spent together.

Just like you always did.

The Bets Are On

You didn't always get dragged along on tours with Marvus, preferring to stay away from the sheer chaos of the limelight. It wasn't that you hated it but you certainly weren't a big fan of having Marvus within reach and yet still not being able to see him. The packed schedule that came with his tours were a drag and you weren't even bound by them. But Ourani and Revell had both asked you to be there, it was important that Marvus and his band were seen in a positive light while on an Earth bound tour. A surprising side effect of the current alliance between the two was the fact bands were allowed to perform on both planets for the first time. It was an opportunity that no one in the entertainment industry could pass up on- not even Marvus. Which was why you were there- they were trying to involve as many humans as possible as a show of good faith. Revell had been the most excited about it as the band's human sensitivity trainer. The fact he wasn't even human in the first place was both amusing and a glaring sign of Alternia's many problems. It'd be insulting if Revell wasn't so serious about his job, often consulting as many humans as he possibly could over the most minute detail and advocating for an actual human to do the training instead of himself. Unfortunately his hands were tied on that front.

Lost in your own thoughts you nearly fell off the chair you were sitting in when Ourani slammed the door to the break room open looking frazzled. His usually slightly wrinkled but tidy clothes were a wreck- tie askew and shirt buttoned wrong with his hair sticking up at odd angles. He looked like he'd survived a mob. "Thaaaat's it! I caaaan't do this aaaanymore! Maaaarvus is driving me to drink!" He shrieked the second the door swung closed behind him. You winced slightly and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"How I've laaaasted this long is aaaa daaaamn mystery!" He continued tossing his clipboard onto the table. You could only imagine what he'd been having to deal with.

"What did he do this time?"

"Whaaaat did he do this time? This time? Its less whaaaat he’s done aaaand more whaaaat he’s going to do! He purposely faaaailed every single humaaaan sensitivity course he waaaas instructed to taaaake! Do you haaaave aaaany ideaaaa how haaaard it waaaas to even get him to those courses? Its like trying to herd feraaaal purr-beaaaasts!” He all but wailed sinking down into the chair opposite from you. It creaked under his weight- built more for humans than adult trolls- and you feared it might collapse under the poor rust blood. The last thing he needed to happen when he was already this close to a break down.

“I know I talk a lot of shit about Marvus but he can’t be that bad.”

Those were clearly the wrong words to say to Marvus’ top personal assistant as Ourani looked at you with an expression bordering on murderous and manic.

“Oh, you think so huh? You think you caaaan haaaandle being Maaaarvus’ Personaaaal Aaaasistaaaant? You think you can do better thaaaan I caaaan? Fine! Why don’t you do my job todaaaay then? He’s got aaaa full schedule aaaand haaaas aaaalreaaaady shown signs of trying to blow it aaaall off!”

“Uh-,”

“Even better ideaaaa! We’ll maaaake aaaa bet out of it. If you caaaan get Maaaarvus to staaaay on traaaack I’ll paaaay some of thaaaat debt you owe to Gorjek.”

“Wh-,”

“Aaaand if you lose? I’ll finaaaally quit!” He was grinning wildly now, eyes bright with glee at the thought of quitting.

“How about if I win you just schedule Marvus a little down time?” You offered instead. Trying to hopefully keep him from losing it further.

“Fine.” He replied looking slightly less like he might jump over the table and throttle you or the next person to walk into the break room. With a more steadying breath Ourani extended his hand to shake on the bet and you gladly took it. Anything to keep him from going full American Psycho on everyone there. You both nearly lept out of your skins when his phone went off to let him know his short break was over. "How about that bet starts now and you go home to get some actual sleep?" You offered, Ourani nodded vigorously to that already shoving his clipboard into your hands. He couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough it seemed. You hoped he'd get some actual rest, the poor guy was one of the most overworked people on the job. Glancing down at the clipboard you winced. Ourani really wasn’t kidding when he said Marvus had a full schedule, looks like you could kiss any other plans you had today goodbye. Straightening out your clothes you went to go find Marvus- wherever he could have gotten. Most likely he wouldn’t be trying to hide from you. He’d be expecting Ourani to be the one trying to hunt him down.

You’d been wandering for five minutes when you finally found him. He was actually where he was supposed to be- chatting with his bandmates who immediately perked up to see you.

“Oh shit! Look who it is.”

“Hey guys, mind if I steal Marvus away for a second?” You asked cheerfully. His bandmates had a soft spot for you and it was easy to get them to agree. Their soft spot would make this bet a little easier to win, hopefully.

“Whatchu need babes?” Marvus asked once the two of you had gotten far enough away. You smiled up at him warmly. "Well, first off-," You grabbed the sides of his purple jacket to pull him down closer to your height, "I'd like a kiss." "Shit babe, all you had ta do was ask." He grinned leaning into you. His arm carefully wrapped around your waist as he tilted your chin up to get better access. You huffed a small laugh as he gave your lip a small nip before kissing you. Letting your eyes close for a brief moment to fully enjoy the kiss you cupped his jaw with your hands before regretfully having to pull back- Marvus attempting to follow you. "Secondly," You murmured interrupted by another brief kiss, "You have a meeting in two minutes." "What." You grinned at his flat off guard tone. Not being able to help yourself as you giggled. "I have your entire schedule for the day." "No."

"Mm, yes."

"Babe-,"

"You also have a meeting with Revell to talk about those courses you flunked out of."

"How-,"

"Ourani went home for the day, I'm gonna be your PA so he can actually get some sleep."

"Oh?"

"Don't get any ideas." You interrupted already knowing where his mind was going, "I'm going to make sure you get through your entire schedule whether you like it or not."

"C'mon, just give me an hour." "I might consider it-," He grinned, "After we get through your schedule."

Marvus pouted.

“Work Marvus. Focus on work.”

“Aww, but you be lookin’ so cute when you take charge.”

“And you’ll be a lot more appealing when you actually do your job.”

“Damn.” He muttered under his breath already standing back up to his full height. “Alright baby, guess we cans go to this meeting.”

It looked, at least for the moment, you might actually win this bet.

Then again, you had yet to get him to go to his meeting with Revell. For some reason those two couldn’t stand each other- you’d zoned out briefly during one of his rants only catching something vague about their ancestors that only confused you more. Revell was actually a kind troll though his threshold for what he dubbed ‘highblood nonsense’ was practically nonexistent. He seemed rather fascinated by human culture, often asking you questions on things he didn’t quite understand- some of his questions not even you could answer with any degree of accuracy. But, Marvus and him were known for their fights. Not even in the pitch leaning way either. You had yet to witness their fights but Ourani had talked about them looking pale and shaky- considering the fact that he’d been witness to the usual Alternian concert slaughter fests that happened with Marvus you had to admit you were afraid to see what could shake him like that. If Marvus' PR team was surprised to see him actually at the meeting they didn't say, though they seemed happy to see you with him. Taking your seat next to Marvus you glanced down at the schedule again. He had this meeting, his meeting with Revel, an autograph signing, and then a meeting with a lesser known human band you hadn't even heard of. Knowing Marvus all of these would be a few hours each.

“You bein’ awfully quiet over there.” Marvus murmured to you while his PR team bickered. You glanced up from the clipboard you’d been staring a hole through to give him a flat look. Better to not put him on edge.

“Just trying to figure out how to get you from point A to point B.”

“C’mon baby I ain’t that bad.”

“Ourani would beg to differ.”

“Then he can fuckin’ beg.”

You smacked his arm earning a small chuckle as he turned back to the meeting.

This was going to be a very long day.