𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐬 ༘♡

request rn🥹✌️

people/fandoms i write for

╭┈─ ◌ೄ guns and roses ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ slash , axl rose, duff mckagan, Steven Adler, Izzy stradlin

╭┈─ ◌ೄ mötley crüe ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ nikki sixx, mick mars, tommy lee, vince neil. no john 5 sorry!

╭┈─ ◌ೄ harry potter ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ harry potter, ron weasley, draco malfoy, professor snape, remus lupin, cedric diggory, fred, and george weasley, james potter

╭┈─ ◌ೄ slytherin boys ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ theodore nott, mattheo riddle, tom riddle, lorenzo berkenshire, draco malfoy, blaise zabini, and regulus black

╭┈─ ◌ೄ the lost boys ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ dwayne, paul, david, marko, micheal/sam emerson

╭┈─ ◌ೄ squid game ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ seong gi- hun (456) , cho sangwoo (218), hwang jun ho (police officer) , hwang in-ho (frontman/001), gong yoo (salesman/ recruiter), myung-gi (333), dae-ho (388), gyeong-seok (246), min-su (125), nam-gyu (124), thanos (230) , masked office (unnamed)

╭┈─ ◌ೄ all of us are dead ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ yoon gwi-nam, lee cheong-san, lee su-hyeok, han gyeong-su, jang wu-jin, jung min-jae, kim cheol-soo, oh joon-yeong.

╭┈─ ◌ೄ strangers from hell ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ yoon jong-woo, seo moon-jo, yoo gi-hyeok

╭┈─ ◌ೄ bloodhounds✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ Kim geon-woo, Hong woo-jin

╭┈─ ◌ೄ Alice in borderland ✧･ﾟ：*

╰┈➤ shuntaro chishiya, suguru niragi, ginji kyuma, ryohei arisu, daikichi karube, Morizono Aguni

╭┈─ ◌ೄ slashers ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ thomas hewitt, bubba sawyer, freddy kruger, micheal myers, jason, ghostface, billy loomis, stu macher.

╭┈─ ◌ೄ the last of us ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ Joel miller, tommy miller, jesse morales,

╭┈─ ◌ೄ cobra kai ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ Anthony Larusso, Axel Kovačević, Daniel larusso, Eli moskowitz (hawk), Feng xiao (sensei wolf), Kenny Payne, kwon Jae-sung, Johnny Lawrence, kyler park, miguel Díaz, Robby Keene, Shawn Payne, Yoon Do-Jin

╭┈─ ◌ೄ grotesquiere ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ father charlie mayhew

╭┈─ ◌ೄ XO kitty ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ Min-ho moon, Dae heon Kim, Jin lee

╭┈─ ◌ೄ My name ✧･ﾟ:*

╰┈➤ Choi mujin, Jeon pil-do, Do gang-jae, Ko gun pyung

~ rules about my writing here.

𐬾𐬺𐬿𝐀 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲𐬿𐬺𐬾

chapter 7

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝐫𝐝

-

It was around 10 in the morning. Still a little cloudy out but sunnier. Saul quietly opened the door to the guest room where Luna had been sleeping. His firm gaze met her soft body lying on the bed with her plushie beside her. She looked so peaceful... so sweet. He figured it was time to wake her for the breakfast he made. He gently walked over, looking at her vulnerable body, how innocent she looked lying there. Her glasses off and nightgown riding up a little, bunched around her soft thighs. He walked over to the side of the bed, his larger calloused but oh-so-gentle hand softly on her smooth thigh. He almost groaned at the feel of her skin, his hand rubbing her thigh gently, sliding to her inner thigh. She whimpered softly and quietly in her sleep, shifting a little. His eyes darkening. His hand softly rubbing her inner thigh. He slowly withdrew his hand before walking quietly out. Waiting for her to awake and come downstairs. She stirred, her eyes fluttering open as she slowly regained consciousness, her surroundings coming into focus.

Luna blinked a few times, her vision adjusting to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, she felt a pang of confusion, struggling to remember where she was and why she was there. Then, the events of the previous night came rushing back, and she sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. Reaching to put her glasses on again. her mind still a bit foggy. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, noticing that her nightgown was slightly wrinkled and very faintly damp from the rain. She smoothed it down, trying to regain some semblance of composure. Luna took a deep breath, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep.

After a few minutes, she felt a bit more awake and presentable. She picked up her teddy bear, giving it a comforting squeeze, laying it on the bed, before heading downstairs to see Saul. As she descended the staircase, she noticed the aroma of freshly cooked food wafting through the air, making her stomach rumble with hunger. The dining area was just as cozy as the rest of the house, with a dark wooden table set for two. A plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon awaited her. a warm smile on his face as he gestured for her to sit down. Her gaze was soft and appreciative. She hadn’t had this good of a meal in forever.

"Good morning, Luna," he said, his tone gentle and welcoming. "I hope you like pancakes."

Luna smiled so sweetly and happily. "I love pancakes!" she replied, taking a seat across from him. "t-thank you so much Mr hudson- I- I don’t know what to say" she was rambling a bit. It always happened when she was happy or anxious.

"It's my pleasure," Saul said, his eyes twinkling with a hint of something she couldn't quite place.

They began eating, the clinking of cutlery the only sound for a few moments. Luna savored the food, realizing just how hungry she was.

"So, Luna," Saul began after a while, his tone casual yet inquisitive. "Tell me some more about yourself. What do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies besides drawing?” Luna hesitated for a moment, feeling a bit shy. But Saul's genuine interest made her feel more comfortable. "Well, I love animals.." she said, her eyes lighting up slightly at the mention of her favorite pastime. "I-I care so very much for animals..” she said gently.

Saul nodded, interested. "That's very sweet." Luna smiled softly, feeling a sense of warmth from his words. "Anything else you enjoy doing?" Luna thought for a moment, feeling a bit more at ease with the conversation. "I also like reading," she said. Saul's eyes gleamed with interest. but something else as well."That's fascinating, Luna. You must have a vivid imagination."

Luna blushed slightly at the compliment. "yea.."

“anything else?”

Luna hesitated for a moment. She didn’t wanna bore him with all the stuff so she kept it short. “I- I like flowers.. and plants as well.” She said softly. Taking a sip of orange juice in the glass cup next to her.

He grinned. “how fascinating..”

They continued talking, the conversation flowing naturally as they shared more about themselves. Despite her initial wariness, Luna found herself feeling more comfortable with Saul. His kindness and genuine interest in her life made her feel seen and valued, something she hadn't experienced in a long time. it was around 11 now. Her and Saul just finished talking, “well.. thank you for everything Mr Hudson.. but I should probably go now.. I don’t wanna bother you or anything.. plus I need to find my way back home.” Luna said softly. Looking at him as he sat across the table for her. Saul’s eyes darkened, she couldn’t go. Not now.. not ever. Plus.. the sweet girl had nothing to go back for. What would she go back for? Her mom? Her mom was just gonna be mean again. Never gonna Change.

Saul's smile faded, replaced with an almost dark look. "Luna, you don't have to go back to that," he said firmly. "You can stay here as long as you need. I have plenty of space, and I don’t mind the company.” Luna hesitated, her eyes searching his for sincerity. "I... I don't want to be a burden," she said softly, feeling torn between her gratitude and her desire to not impose.

Saul reached across the table and placed his larger calloused reassuring hand over her smaller soft one. "You're not a burden, Luna. Far from it. I enjoy having you here." Luna's heart softened at his words, and she found herself considering his offer more seriously. The idea of returning to her mother's house, where she faced constant neglect and disdain, filled her with dread. Here, with Saul, she felt a glimmer of hope—something she hadn't felt in a long time. Still, a part of her couldn't shake the feeling that there was something she didn't fully understand about him.

"Are you sure, Mr Hudson?" she asked tentatively. “Saul.” He corrected sternly. “S-Saul sorry.” "I mean, I don't want to disrupt your life or anything."

Saul's eyes met hers, filled with a mix of warmth and something deeper, something she couldn't quite place. "I'm sure. I want to help you, I want to make sure you're happy." Luna smiled softly, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. "Thank you, Saul. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Saul's smirk grew, satisfied with her response. "It's no trouble at all, Luna. Now, how about we spend the day doing something fun? Maybe we could go out and get you a new sketchbook and some art supplies. What do you think?" He said. Luna thought it was an act of kindness, but what the poor girl didn’t know was that he was trying to bribe her. Make her see he’s kind, and stay with him.

Luna's eyes lit up at the suggestion. "That sounds wonderful! I've been wanting to draw again, but I didn't have the chance to get my things from home."

Saul nodded, pleased with her enthusiasm. "Wonderful. There's a nice little art supply store in town that I think you'll love." He said with a grin. She smiled softly. About to get up and get freshened up before he stopped her. “Hm.. maybe a bit later. I just want to show you around the house a little since I couldn’t yesterday.” He said with a gentle smile. He didn’t care about the house.. he just couldn’t go out till night or evening. It would risk his identity. One that she just couldn’t resist. Her soft lips making the shape of a gentle “oh.” “Okay.” She said gently. Sitting back down. He wanted to show her the house.. he wanted her to get used to it. Cause she was gonna be living there.. he was gonna make her.

Saul stood up, extending his hand to help Luna. "Let's start with the living room," he said, leading her towards the cozy space where they had spent the previous evening. Saul making small talk, talking about the furniture and all.. As they were talking, the TV had been on. Lunas eyes drifted to the television, watching as they talked about another brutal murder in the small town of oak falls just last night. Slash still hadn’t been spotted.. “oh my…” she whispered softly. Watching as the news lady spoke.

“Police say they still can’t find the person who’s behind all of this. But some reports and people near by, say he seems to go by the name… “slash.””

Saul's eyes flickered to the TV for a brief moment, his expression unreadable. "It's terrible, isn't it?" he said, his voice tinged with false concern. "This town has been on edge ever since those murders started happening."

Luna nodded, her unease growing. "Yeah, it's really scary," she replied softly. "I hope they catch whoever is responsible soon."

Saul placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, the touch both comforting and oddly unsettling.

"Don't worry, Luna. You're safe here with me," he said, his tone soothing. "Let's continue the tour. I think you'll like the library."

Lunas eyes lit up, she glanced at the TV one last time before following Saul down a hallway that led to a wooden door. He opened it with a flourish, revealing a cozy, dimly lit room lined with bookshelves that reached the ceiling. The scent of old paper and polished wood filled the air, creating an atmosphere of quiet intellectualism.

Luna's eyes widened as she stepped inside, taking in the sheer volume of books. "Wow, this is amazing," she said, her voice filled with awe. "I've never seen so many books in one place outside of a library."

Saul smriked, pleased with her reaction. "I'm glad you like it. Do you see anything you like?" She walked along the shelves, her fingers lightly grazing the spines of various books. "I see a lot that like," she admitted. Saul grinned, watching her closely. Watching the way her small body stood there, god he just wanted to grab her and..

Luna paused, pulling out a worn copy of a classic adventure novel. "This one looks interesting," she said, showing it to him.

"Ah, a great choice," Saul said approvingly. "Feel free to borrow it."

"Thank you, Saul," Luna said with a shy smile. "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome," he replied, his eyes lingering on her for a moment longer than necessary. "Now, cmon.."

They left the library and walked back down the hallway, entering a spacious, modern dark kitchen. Stainless steel appliances gleamed under the soft lighting, and a large island stood in the center, adorned with a bowl of fresh fruit. Luna saw the kitchen last night. but she hadn’t gotten a good look due to the dim lighting.

Luna looked around, impressed. "This is beautiful," she said. "Do you cook a lot?"

"I do," Saul said, leaning against the island. "Cooking is another one of my passions.”

Luna nodded, feeling a pang of longing. "I used to cook a little with my mom, but it was never anything fancy."

"Well, maybe we can cook together sometime," Saul suggested, his tone inviting. "I'd love to show you some recipes."

"I'd like that," Luna replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "It sounds fun."

"Great," Saul said, his smile widening. "Now, let’s go to the backyard hm? Pretty sure you’ll like it."

He led her to the back door. the small garden he had in the back was a riot of colors, with blooming flowers and lush greenery. It was so neat, and beautiful.

"It's gorgeous," Luna said, her eyes lighting up. "I-i love these flowers so much! They’re so pretty" Luna exclaimed sweetly and excitedly. Looking down at the light pink peony flowers.

"Yes, they are," Saul agreed, watching her closely. Luna wandered down the garden, stopping to admire a bed of vibrant roses. turning to look at him. "You've been so kind to me. I don't know how to repay you." "Your happiness is all the thanks I need," Saul said smoothly. "I'm just glad I can provide you with a safe place to stay." He said, his dark eyes looking at her. Her gaze softened, stay.. Luna did really wanna stay. But I mean.. she barely knew the man. But from what she knew he was so sweet to her.

Luna smiled softly, feeling a mix of gratitude and unease. "I really appreciate it," she said. "It means a lot to me."

Saul walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. " you're not alone anymore. You have me now.. I can be your friend.” He said gently, but a hint to something she couldn’t quite place, persuasion.. and it was working. Luna smiled sweetly. “Okay!” She said softly, Luna always wanted a friend..

As they stood in the garden, the clouds began to part, allowing a few rays of sunlight to filter through.

Luna looked up, feeling a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, things would get better. But as she glanced back at Saul, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something she still didn't understand about him.

"Shall we head back inside?" Saul suggested. "We can plan our trip to the art store in a bit."

"Alright," Luna agreed, following him back into the house. As they walked through the door, she took one last look at the garden, hoping that she could find some semblance of peace in this new chapter of her life.

As they re-entered the house, Saul closed the door behind them, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of satisfaction and anticipation. Everything was falling into place, just as he had planned. And Luna, blissfully unaware, was right where he wanted her.

OF COURSE QUEEENNN 🙄💖💖

How to disappear | Chapter: one

Summary: after the passing of your mom, you and your dads best friend get close. You find comfort in him and he does the same because he also once lost something. While a relationship between you two sounds wrong and taboo, your feelings grow stronger. But Joel is an old man, guilt and the fear of losing you too, overwhelms him. So he leaves you.

Warnings: Angst, grief, heartbreak, lots of emotions, (fluff as a flashback), joels alcohol problems, dad that doesn’t care for his daughter, age gap! (23 and 61), crying, kind of depression, smut (as a flashback)

A/N: Okey Okey, I may said next week but I was already done with it so finally it’s here. Some dbf and Oldman!joel angst hehehe. Ngl I kinda hurt myself with this one.

Dear joel,

i‘m still thinking about the first time you kissed me, gentle, careful, caring.

I wish you‘d see how much I love you, how much I love being in your presence, how much I love our midnight talks.

We are both broken, something connected us. You made it a reason to leave me, I made it a reason to call you my soulmate.

I feel heartbreak. I cry myself to sleep, tell me..is that better than us comforting each other and having fun?

I miss our conversations, I miss your smile and your ability to comfort me.

Dad is asking why you are distancing yourself.

I love you, always.

Winter felt like forever.

A never ending cycle of dark and cold days, where the world stays still when snow falls. Lingering loneliness creeping up, as you fall for the hopelessness of it all and allowed the weather to dictate your mood while in the back of your mind the soft touches and whispers swam around of someone you where aching to be revolved around with once again.

Joel Miller.

Your last conversation stuck in your mind like the withering words only an enemy can say to you. Repeating itself over and over till there is only a echo of two words. We can‘t.

But there was no flicker of rejection in his eyes as he touched you, no regret as he cuddled you after his release, no shimmer of a different personality you weren‘t aware of, you knew him long enough. At least you thought so.

The aching in your heart and tummy was one that didn‘t go away no matter how much time had passed. The sadness clinged on you, wrapping tightly around your ribs, making it hard to breathe. It was one that grew each day for the past season, now coming to the point that you feel yourself getting sick from it. Flashes of memories startle you while you want to go on with your day. The glimpse of his brown eyes, landing on your face, soft and gentle the way you always knew him. Faints laughs of you two whenever it’s quiet.

And somehow underneath all of this it remembered you of your mom. The day she passed, the darkness that fell on you, the ability to not think straight as your eyes were hurting from crying. The shock not letting up, moving like a ghost trough life, pretending to function. Time would heal, but it didn’t. Time just showed you how to carry the pain without showing it.

You wanted to be small again, cradled by your mother’s hands, soothed by her voice.

“It feels like time has stopped for you and the people around you don’t care. You somehow have to function, but the person was your sole reason to function.” His eyes were emotionless.

Joel stopped crying after five months. He became a vessel of a man who once showed his kindness through actions and words and now someone who shuts everyone off. Grief is not predictable. It changes, buries itself deep beneath the skin and eats you alive. Joel never asked for comfort. But he gave it to you. He thought he didn’t deserve warmth, he thought he didn’t want to feel joy. But he let you feel all of those things.

The rough patch of his beard tickled your skin as you laid on top of him, nuzzling your face into his neck. The tears were dry on your cheeks, your eyes swollen and red as a headache started to form. His big hands rubbing circles on your back, soothing you to sleep.

“She is watching over you.”

The line that was crossed was blurred. The day you caught feelings was unknown. You just knew that there had been this silent connection between you two right after he decided to knock on your door to check on you.

“How y’doing, kiddo?”

Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t except it from him. Maybe it was the fact that your dad was distant after your mom’s passing. Maybe it was the fact that both of you lost something.

A man you should suddenly avoid because of his alcohol problems; your dad’s sayings. After his daughter’s passing he developed an alcohol problem, something that was clear whenever he was in your house, his eyes hazy, movements too unsteady. Your heart ached for him, never understanding how people do that to themselves. But after your mom, you did. His actions spoke louder than his words. He still helped your father around the house, with his job, with other things. He was there ,only his emotions were completely submerged, a veil placed over them so no one could recognize his true feelings.

That night, changed it all. He calmed your nerves, gave you the comfort you’ve been aching for the past eight months, and after that he finally let you in his heart. Told you what he was feeling. Guilt, anxiety and anger. His lips were quivering, eyes dark and swollen. Jaw clenched, as if he was trying to bite back the sob clawing up his throat. His breath shaky.

“I should’ve been there.” The only thing that he would murmur and then silence. A rather comfortable and understanding one. You don’t say anything, you just watch. Seeing the same emotions going through him as the day you lost your mom. His eyes would finally lift, and they would shine but not with kindness but with anger and sorrow. You could see it.

“An-and I feel selfish. For now coming in here and telling you this while you also lost someone.”

“Hey, hey. No.” Your hand gently lands on his shoulder, slowly moving to his hair caressing through his curls, while looking at him. His eyes softened, suddenly filling full of worry, bottom lip pouting. Looking at you like a kicked puppy. You felt tears leaving your eyes, landing on your thighs, you wanted to hug him. You knew how he was feeling. You also wanted to give him comfort.

“Don’t even think like that. You’re not selfish for speaking it out. You’re human, joel.”

He tilts his head slightly, you doing the same. A flicker of something knowing passing through your gaze.

“And if you really think thats selfish, then i’m selfish too. For wanting to hear it. You should’t carry it alone.”

For the first time, joel let’s go of the breath he has been holding for a long time. It doesn’t fix anything— but in this quiet moment, something shifts.

A piece of his sorrow, no longer carried alone.

He came over more often. Opened your door, sneaked in your bed and cuddled you, whenever your father was at home, you went to his place. He didn’t care anyway. You two had small road trips, where he drove you to his favourite places, music in the background, your head out of the window, enjoying it. It felt safe, it felt right.

Every worry in your head disappearing when he put your head on his chest. Soft humming and fingertips caressing the skin. Your conversations were not only about loss. They were flowing easily, they were funny.

“This thing is gonna give me a heart attack one day, I swear.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to find the right buttons to put it on silent.

“Ain’t working like that, wait—you have a nokia? Where the hell is your phone?” You asked widened eyes, after you snatched his supposed phone out of his hands.

He snatched it back, eyebrows furrowing.

“What about it? Tommy bought me one because they are easy to use.”

“No, no. S’nice.” You tried to suppress a giggle. And as you swallowed you looked around his house, he looked at you with a grumpy expression.

“What? I can’t keep up with your new generation shit.”

“Oh I bet, I bet. I just find it funny.” You finally giggled, laying back down on his couch, holding your tummy.

“Y’know what’s real funny? You don’t even know half of these movies that I showed you.”

You gasped, sitting up again. His face all smug, a smirk on his lips.

“What? They are cult classics c’mon now—“

“Yeah, for old people.” You rolled your eyes playfully, seeing his face all serious now.

Giggling, you stood up as he abruptly did so too, stretched out his arms to reach for you.

And you knew what that meant. You laughed just more, running around his coffee table and he followed you, trying to grab you. And suddenly he did, throwing you gently on the couch and began tickling you.

“J-joel” you couldn’t breathe from the laughter.

You thought your dad would comfort you and be there for you after what happened, you didn’t think it was going to be joel. But your dad locked himself up, ignoring his dad duties. Leaving you alone, not showing his emotions, not letting you show yours. His demeanour was cold, distant it felt like living with a stranger. You understood why. You understood that he also lost someone, but he never once asked how you are, never once opened the topic of Mom again. Deleted it from his life like it never existed. And while doing that he also deleted you slowly.

Your friends stopped texting, one didn’t know how to comfort you. The other one was acting like it wasn’t a big deal. So you also deleted that topic from them, from your father. Joel was the only one who heard you talking about your mom.

And then he left you. So now, you were completely alone.

But maybe you didn’t really love him. Maybe you just loved his comforting. Maybe you just needed someone and he was there. Would you love a man forty years older than you if your father acted like a father? The way he looked at you, worshipped you, made you feel good. Made you feel special. Took care of you. Something connected you two. Wasn’t those signs of love?

“Hurting?”

“No, think i’m good.” You whispered to him. The stretch was unusual, nothing that you haven’t had before but it felt different. It was with joel.

“S’good, real good.” He nodded his head to you. Under the covers, vulnerable, you two were naked. There were goosebumps all over your skin, and his too. Joel lets you adjust on his shaft, worried eyes scanning your face to see if you show any sign of discomfort.

The atmosphere in the room was calm, lights dimmed and if felt comfortable. The first time you really made out with him and laid your hands on his bulge he stopped you. “Wanna do it right.” He took his time, kissing every inch of your body, teasing you, loving on you. Calling you his pretty girl. Making your eyes almost tear up of how much love he was giving you.

He was extra careful as he started to thrust into you, little breaths leaving his mouth, your hands gripping his biceps. A little moan leaving your lips, feeling the pleasure in your belly slowly fill.

His gaze never left you, he noticed it all. The smile you give him, cheeks flushed, trying to breath right and suppress a loud moan. The way he handled you with gentle hands cupping your cheek, kissing your forehead.

“Joel—please.” A coo leaving his mouth, speeding his thrusts into you.

Joel would bite back a groan, his thrusts sometimes sloppy, sometimes losing the rhythm because it’s been so long. But you didn’t care. You loved feeling him all, you loved being with him.

And when he came his face would twist, you would gently touch his face. He would bury himself into you on last time and then hide into your neck, leaving wet kisses while catching his breath. While you didn’t come, you were still content and satisfied to have him on top of you. But of course he realised it and ate you out for one hour, taking his time, giving you the best orgasms of your life.

You never got an answer from the letter. You never got an answer on your countless texts and calls. He cut you out. And you were trying your best to be angry, you really were. But deep down, the sense of understanding was spreading. You knew how much trouble you two would be going through if your father or anyone in your family found out. Anyone in his family too.

The age gap would let everyone turn their heads in the streets.

Your friends, colleagues everyone would think he is a weirdo. That you are a weirdo.

But then you ask yourself why?

Why did he let you develop these feeling for him? Why did he give you a reason to think that he was in love with you? Why did he comfort you? why did he give you this feeling that everything is going to be fine? Why did he make you believe that there was a connection between you two?

A knock pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Can you help me set the table? Joel is also coming—oh and his girlfriend too, apparently.”

AAA this took so long, but i’m actually proud of this. Please if you see mistakes or want to give feedback, feel free to do so.

Thank you so so much for 900 followers, it’s truly unbelievable.🥹🥹

My Masterlist!!!

Taglist:

@vickie5446 @a-goose-on-mars @thatgirlmendo @ihearttdilfs @pickyeater13 @sweetiegirl16 @keseqna @shivispunk @kyloispunk @meetmeatyourworst @joelmillerswife9 @iveseenstrangerthings50 @idrkman @vanishintoyoubby @dlwrish @cuntyhunty22 @glitterspark @tikikiki @millerdilfs @lovelystrawberrysblog @millersdoll @mani-pedro @simp4pedro @angelic1angel @hazzzy418 @valitagun @throttlepascal @speaktothehandpeasants @mystickittytaco @whatwouldsookiedo @sage-babydoll @umadirectioner @neobangverse @stvrl1ghtt123 @midnightmischief10 @ccmoonshine @dendulinka6

WHY AM I FLOPPING ❤️❤️💔💔💔

IM SORRY GUYS I KNOW💔💔I TOOK SO LONG TO DROP TJE THRID PART U GUYS PROBABLY FORGOT ABT IT BUT READ IT PLS🙍🏻‍♂️🔥🙏😔

part 1

part 2

part 3

clean up on isle my pants 😭✌️

girl yes 💗

the concept of older bf joel keeping a photo of you in his old leather wallet that’s been around for as long as you have because you’re his beautiful girl

like iiiittttt pllsssss tiktok- moonlitssmile

I feel like Carlos would be so good with his fingers LIKE First of all. His hands are huge. Veiny. Calloused. Strong.

He’s experienced. He knows a woman’s body. He’s learned over time, trial and error, but when it’s you? He’s focused. He’s attentive. He’s listening to every breath, watching every twitch. Like when you gasp and grabs at his wrist? Or hides your face in his chest while whimpering?

That feeds him.

You’re in his lap or laying soft beneath him, nightgown bunched, legs shaking… And Carlos just slides one thick finger in slow. All the way in. you’re all tight, wet, already trembling—and he just groans, low in his chest:

“Shit, baby… you’re squeezin’ me so tight.”

He goes slow at first. Lets you adjust. Kisses your neck while whispering how good you’re doing. His voice low, hot, right in your ear. Then he adds a second finger. And you whimper. Hips jump. Legs twitch.

“Easy,” he coos, curling his fingers just right.

“I know, baby. You’re doin’ so good for me.”

And he rubs deep, right against that sweet, soft spot that makes you gasp. He finds it fast. And then he stays there. While his thumb rubs slow circles over your clit, light and perfect—until your thighs are shaking and your voice is breaking.

AND IF YOU CRY ??? He’s gone. Carlos is obsessed.

You’re overwhelmed, hiccuping, little tears slipping down your cheeks as you whisper you can’t and that it’s too much. But he just keeps kissing your temple and murmuring stuff like “Yes you can, You’re gonna come all over my fingers. Let me feel it.”

And he doesn’t stop until you’re clenching, gasping, back arching off the bed. Then he pulls his fingers out slow, wet, glistening, and presses them to your lips while he kisses your tears away.

“Taste how sweet you are, baby…”

this is actually peak like I’m peaking this is pure cinema

How to disappear | Chapter: one

Summary: after the passing of your mom, you and your dads best friend get close. You find comfort in him and he does the same because he also once lost something. While a relationship between you two sounds wrong and taboo, your feelings grow stronger. But Joel is an old man, guilt and the fear of losing you too, overwhelms him. So he leaves you.

Warnings: Angst, grief, heartbreak, lots of emotions, (fluff as a flashback), joels alcohol problems, dad that doesn’t care for his daughter, age gap! (23 and 61), crying, kind of depression, smut (as a flashback)

A/N: Okey Okey, I may said next week but I was already done with it so finally it’s here. Some dbf and Oldman!joel angst hehehe. Ngl I kinda hurt myself with this one.

Dear joel,

i‘m still thinking about the first time you kissed me, gentle, careful, caring.

I wish you‘d see how much I love you, how much I love being in your presence, how much I love our midnight talks.

We are both broken, something connected us. You made it a reason to leave me, I made it a reason to call you my soulmate.

I feel heartbreak. I cry myself to sleep, tell me..is that better than us comforting each other and having fun?

I miss our conversations, I miss your smile and your ability to comfort me.

Dad is asking why you are distancing yourself.

I love you, always.

Winter felt like forever.

A never ending cycle of dark and cold days, where the world stays still when snow falls. Lingering loneliness creeping up, as you fall for the hopelessness of it all and allowed the weather to dictate your mood while in the back of your mind the soft touches and whispers swam around of someone you where aching to be revolved around with once again.

Joel Miller.

Your last conversation stuck in your mind like the withering words only an enemy can say to you. Repeating itself over and over till there is only a echo of two words. We can‘t.

But there was no flicker of rejection in his eyes as he touched you, no regret as he cuddled you after his release, no shimmer of a different personality you weren‘t aware of, you knew him long enough. At least you thought so.

The aching in your heart and tummy was one that didn‘t go away no matter how much time had passed. The sadness clinged on you, wrapping tightly around your ribs, making it hard to breathe. It was one that grew each day for the past season, now coming to the point that you feel yourself getting sick from it. Flashes of memories startle you while you want to go on with your day. The glimpse of his brown eyes, landing on your face, soft and gentle the way you always knew him. Faints laughs of you two whenever it’s quiet.

And somehow underneath all of this it remembered you of your mom. The day she passed, the darkness that fell on you, the ability to not think straight as your eyes were hurting from crying. The shock not letting up, moving like a ghost trough life, pretending to function. Time would heal, but it didn’t. Time just showed you how to carry the pain without showing it.

You wanted to be small again, cradled by your mother’s hands, soothed by her voice.

“It feels like time has stopped for you and the people around you don’t care. You somehow have to function, but the person was your sole reason to function.” His eyes were emotionless.

Joel stopped crying after five months. He became a vessel of a man who once showed his kindness through actions and words and now someone who shuts everyone off. Grief is not predictable. It changes, buries itself deep beneath the skin and eats you alive. Joel never asked for comfort. But he gave it to you. He thought he didn’t deserve warmth, he thought he didn’t want to feel joy. But he let you feel all of those things.

The rough patch of his beard tickled your skin as you laid on top of him, nuzzling your face into his neck. The tears were dry on your cheeks, your eyes swollen and red as a headache started to form. His big hands rubbing circles on your back, soothing you to sleep.

“She is watching over you.”

The line that was crossed was blurred. The day you caught feelings was unknown. You just knew that there had been this silent connection between you two right after he decided to knock on your door to check on you.

“How y’doing, kiddo?”

Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t except it from him. Maybe it was the fact that your dad was distant after your mom’s passing. Maybe it was the fact that both of you lost something.

A man you should suddenly avoid because of his alcohol problems; your dad’s sayings. After his daughter’s passing he developed an alcohol problem, something that was clear whenever he was in your house, his eyes hazy, movements too unsteady. Your heart ached for him, never understanding how people do that to themselves. But after your mom, you did. His actions spoke louder than his words. He still helped your father around the house, with his job, with other things. He was there ,only his emotions were completely submerged, a veil placed over them so no one could recognize his true feelings.

That night, changed it all. He calmed your nerves, gave you the comfort you’ve been aching for the past eight months, and after that he finally let you in his heart. Told you what he was feeling. Guilt, anxiety and anger. His lips were quivering, eyes dark and swollen. Jaw clenched, as if he was trying to bite back the sob clawing up his throat. His breath shaky.

“I should’ve been there.” The only thing that he would murmur and then silence. A rather comfortable and understanding one. You don’t say anything, you just watch. Seeing the same emotions going through him as the day you lost your mom. His eyes would finally lift, and they would shine but not with kindness but with anger and sorrow. You could see it.

“An-and I feel selfish. For now coming in here and telling you this while you also lost someone.”

“Hey, hey. No.” Your hand gently lands on his shoulder, slowly moving to his hair caressing through his curls, while looking at him. His eyes softened, suddenly filling full of worry, bottom lip pouting. Looking at you like a kicked puppy. You felt tears leaving your eyes, landing on your thighs, you wanted to hug him. You knew how he was feeling. You also wanted to give him comfort.

“Don’t even think like that. You’re not selfish for speaking it out. You’re human, joel.”

He tilts his head slightly, you doing the same. A flicker of something knowing passing through your gaze.

“And if you really think thats selfish, then i’m selfish too. For wanting to hear it. You should’t carry it alone.”

For the first time, joel let’s go of the breath he has been holding for a long time. It doesn’t fix anything— but in this quiet moment, something shifts.

A piece of his sorrow, no longer carried alone.

He came over more often. Opened your door, sneaked in your bed and cuddled you, whenever your father was at home, you went to his place. He didn’t care anyway. You two had small road trips, where he drove you to his favourite places, music in the background, your head out of the window, enjoying it. It felt safe, it felt right.

Every worry in your head disappearing when he put your head on his chest. Soft humming and fingertips caressing the skin. Your conversations were not only about loss. They were flowing easily, they were funny.

“This thing is gonna give me a heart attack one day, I swear.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to find the right buttons to put it on silent.

“Ain’t working like that, wait—you have a nokia? Where the hell is your phone?” You asked widened eyes, after you snatched his supposed phone out of his hands.

He snatched it back, eyebrows furrowing.

“What about it? Tommy bought me one because they are easy to use.”

“No, no. S’nice.” You tried to suppress a giggle. And as you swallowed you looked around his house, he looked at you with a grumpy expression.

“What? I can’t keep up with your new generation shit.”

“Oh I bet, I bet. I just find it funny.” You finally giggled, laying back down on his couch, holding your tummy.

“Y’know what’s real funny? You don’t even know half of these movies that I showed you.”

You gasped, sitting up again. His face all smug, a smirk on his lips.

“What? They are cult classics c’mon now—“

“Yeah, for old people.” You rolled your eyes playfully, seeing his face all serious now.

Giggling, you stood up as he abruptly did so too, stretched out his arms to reach for you.

And you knew what that meant. You laughed just more, running around his coffee table and he followed you, trying to grab you. And suddenly he did, throwing you gently on the couch and began tickling you.

“J-joel” you couldn’t breathe from the laughter.

You thought your dad would comfort you and be there for you after what happened, you didn’t think it was going to be joel. But your dad locked himself up, ignoring his dad duties. Leaving you alone, not showing his emotions, not letting you show yours. His demeanour was cold, distant it felt like living with a stranger. You understood why. You understood that he also lost someone, but he never once asked how you are, never once opened the topic of Mom again. Deleted it from his life like it never existed. And while doing that he also deleted you slowly.

Your friends stopped texting, one didn’t know how to comfort you. The other one was acting like it wasn’t a big deal. So you also deleted that topic from them, from your father. Joel was the only one who heard you talking about your mom.

And then he left you. So now, you were completely alone.

But maybe you didn’t really love him. Maybe you just loved his comforting. Maybe you just needed someone and he was there. Would you love a man forty years older than you if your father acted like a father? The way he looked at you, worshipped you, made you feel good. Made you feel special. Took care of you. Something connected you two. Wasn’t those signs of love?

“Hurting?”

“No, think i’m good.” You whispered to him. The stretch was unusual, nothing that you haven’t had before but it felt different. It was with joel.

“S’good, real good.” He nodded his head to you. Under the covers, vulnerable, you two were naked. There were goosebumps all over your skin, and his too. Joel lets you adjust on his shaft, worried eyes scanning your face to see if you show any sign of discomfort.

The atmosphere in the room was calm, lights dimmed and if felt comfortable. The first time you really made out with him and laid your hands on his bulge he stopped you. “Wanna do it right.” He took his time, kissing every inch of your body, teasing you, loving on you. Calling you his pretty girl. Making your eyes almost tear up of how much love he was giving you.

He was extra careful as he started to thrust into you, little breaths leaving his mouth, your hands gripping his biceps. A little moan leaving your lips, feeling the pleasure in your belly slowly fill.

His gaze never left you, he noticed it all. The smile you give him, cheeks flushed, trying to breath right and suppress a loud moan. The way he handled you with gentle hands cupping your cheek, kissing your forehead.

“Joel—please.” A coo leaving his mouth, speeding his thrusts into you.

Joel would bite back a groan, his thrusts sometimes sloppy, sometimes losing the rhythm because it’s been so long. But you didn’t care. You loved feeling him all, you loved being with him.

And when he came his face would twist, you would gently touch his face. He would bury himself into you on last time and then hide into your neck, leaving wet kisses while catching his breath. While you didn’t come, you were still content and satisfied to have him on top of you. But of course he realised it and ate you out for one hour, taking his time, giving you the best orgasms of your life.

You never got an answer from the letter. You never got an answer on your countless texts and calls. He cut you out. And you were trying your best to be angry, you really were. But deep down, the sense of understanding was spreading. You knew how much trouble you two would be going through if your father or anyone in your family found out. Anyone in his family too.

The age gap would let everyone turn their heads in the streets.

Your friends, colleagues everyone would think he is a weirdo. That you are a weirdo.

But then you ask yourself why?

Why did he let you develop these feeling for him? Why did he give you a reason to think that he was in love with you? Why did he comfort you? why did he give you this feeling that everything is going to be fine? Why did he make you believe that there was a connection between you two?

A knock pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Can you help me set the table? Joel is also coming—oh and his girlfriend too, apparently.”

AAA this took so long, but i’m actually proud of this. Please if you see mistakes or want to give feedback, feel free to do so.

Thank you so so much for 900 followers, it’s truly unbelievable.🥹🥹

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