When I Am Being Loved, I Respond To It With Love, Too. When I'm Being Less Taken Care Of Or Ignored,

“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was.”

— Sade Andria Zabala

If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.

Lao Tzu

Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, from “Carmilla”

“I learned not to trust people; I learned not to believe what they say but to watch what they do. I learned to suspect that everyone is capable of living a lie. I came to believe that other people - even when you think you know them well - are ultimately unknowable.”

— Lynn Barber (via stay-close)

I have my best ideas high

I just can't remember them...

There’s that one person you’ll never get over no matter how long it’s been.

Avinash Wandre

Men and what doesn't belong to them

The price tag is at $30, too overpriced for a simple doll

The sky is pitch black by the time I leave the mall, my hands empty-handed and freezing

A breeze of air sends strands of hair onto my face

A buzz emerges from my back pocket

Where are you?

I turn off the screen, I can't be seen distracted, especially at night

It's like my mom's warnings are screeching against my ear

She tells me of men who hide in dark alleyways, biting like dogs at woman's feet

She reminds me of how my cousin was dragged by one of those dogs, how her eyes don't glow like they used to

She walked too much like a woman, that's why they caught her, she tells me

Because they can't blame her for her baggy clothing

But how do I tell her that my father is like those men?

Pulling her wherever he pleases, dressing her how he sees fit

It's as if the wedding certificate, buried inside a memory box, is the same thing as the receipt that's pushed by the wind

I walk briskly under the street lights, my heart beats loudly every time a car slows down

Even if I'm in the middle of a crowd, it'll only give me the illusion of safety

I wonder if my friend felt helpless, as my 4th grade teacher hugged her tightly, knowing everyone's eyes were on her

I heard of a story on the radio with my grandma once, of a woman who was sold as a child to a much older man

She sighed. Thank God, we aren't in that wretched country anymore.

I couldn't find it in me to tell her that this happens everywhere, even in the safety of a “first world country”

I look at his message one last time, knowing I'll never see his picture again

If you don't answer this time, I swear I'll ki—

I should have known that he was like every man, poor, rich, old, and young, with what doesn't belong to him

I am out with lanterns looking for myself

— Emily Dickinson

i.

the end of the day like the last stop of a train, the sun too  is on its way out of sight,

past the horizon with its  dusk and all the stars.

ii.

tomorrow is a window onto hope, growing like a flower in soil gently tilled,

like the way you are gentle flow  and ebb, between here and now, there and soon… and in between 

the pages tucked, feather light  the mark you booked — through all the cracks, 

the shimmering edge of everything  disappearing into this… a halo  of softness, what is an angel anyway 

but a disguise… for all the places  you didn’t look, some being  holds the torch quietly… when you don’t. 

A year of ballerina tea and vodka