I Love Reading This Series🥹 Gets Me All Warm And Fuzzy On The Inside!

This did wonders for my love of vengeance😈

mercy upon ourselves

See my full list of works here!

Summary: Your multiversal duty of punishing perpetrators of infidelity in their afterlife takes an interesting turn when you see that the betrayed party is one of your variants | loose 'sequel' to 'all will be alright in time'

Pairing: Loki (God of Stories/Time) x Reader; Will Ransome x Reader (different Reader)

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: 18+ | talks of infidelity; steamy moments at the end; (technically) mass murder; Cora Seaborne (yeah she's a warning); Will Ransome (in this case he needs to be a warning, too) [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: this loosely takes place in the RTC 'multiverse', but no prior reading of the series is required; Reader is the goddess of fidelity

Dick-tionary: steamy moments (but not outright smut) starts at "Loki let out a low chuckle"

Your duty as goddess of fidelity, in theory, was simple enough. Upon the death of a betrayer, you were to choose their punishment in their eternal afterlife. After your first few thousand cases, they all began to meld into the same old tale, often feeling as if they all even wore the same face.

That was until this particular story. Where the face of the deceased and betrayed wife held…your own.

Before you could even call out to him, Loki was by your side in a heartbeat, laying his hands gently on your shoulders and pressing a kiss to the back of your head. "I can sense your unease, little Princess. What troubles you?"

Together you looked through the glowing branches that surrounded you, each telling the story of a different timeline, a different universe. Until you finally found the one which held the case you needed to review. The universe where your echo had died of a broken heart upon learning that your husband, Loki's echo in the form of a Reverend William Ransome, betrayed you to have an entanglement with a newcomer in your quaint village of Aldwinter.

"This is no variant of mine," your husband seethed. "I could never belittle our love like this, the thought alone pains me."

You took his hand in yours, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "I know, husband. This timeline is simply…a fluke. Our echoes, our variants? They are not reflections of ourselves. His flaws and failures are not your burden to bear."

"Failure," he repeated, his top lip curling up in a sneer as he looked upon the faces of his variant and his mistress, living together under the same roof, sleeping in the very bed that your variant breathed her last. "That is precisely what this branch is. Perhaps it should just drift away…to wither and rot."

"Loki we should not punish an entire universe for the mistake of one man. There are still countless lives within this branch--"

"And your variant is no longer one of them because of the mistake of his one man. He deserves to suffer."

"And he will," you reassured him. "His suffering falls within my purview. It is my Norns-given duty to see to it. And while I know we both would relish in watching as this pathetic coward of a man sees the end of days upon him, I cannot in good conscience have it be at the cost of an entire universe. But perhaps the village that was complicit…the village that stayed silent to protect their precious reverend's reputation."

"What do you have in mind, my love?" He pulled you close to him, embracing you from behind, hands caressing your sides. Soothing himself from the unease of seeing how his variant dared take you for granted.

I was made to be yours. Words that resonated so deeply into both your souls. Words he used when he first confessed his love to you. The same words you yourself uttered when your memory spell had broken and you found him that fateful day eons ago.

The same words you both used within your new vows when he returned to you. And used ever since.

And somehow this insipid trifling man thought himself above those words? Dare even spit them back in the face of the same entities that weaved your two souls together so intricately that it bled through every timeline and universe known to him?

All the suffering in the Nine Realms would not be enough for this William Ransome as far as he was concerned.

"Well, husband, we are in a rather…unique circumstance," you mused aloud, a little sound of contentment slipping from your lips when he pressed a kiss to your temple. "I bear the same face as this Y/N Ransome…and they reside in a town that is riddled with a rather superstitious lot. And my variant…she deserves her revenge, does she not?"

Had it not been for the gloomier and grayer than usual state of the sky, it seemed a typical day in Aldwinter. It had been years since the spectacle that was your passing occurred, and the townsfolk had finally began to warm to the presence of Cora Seaborne. Sure, she and William would still get looks out of the corners of their eyes, especially when she would emerge from the house in a dress that people could have sworn was yours, but other than that, no one made any trouble for them.

Not to their face. Not anymore.

The cold heaviness of regret had made itself at home in the pit of your widower's stomach ever since that day, the day that he betrayed you. No amount of rationalizing could have him absolve himself of his sin. Any which way he went with his internal arguments, they would all land in the same place.

The blame fell entirely on him. And he would have to live with the consequences of what he'd done for the rest of his days.

In the form of the tombstone that would steadily erode with the passing of time.

And in the form of the new family he was all but strong armed into taking on, if only to spare himself more scandal and ridicule. He'd already lost the respect of a good number of the congregation, this would smite the number down to a paltry handful if he turned his back on his then pregnant mistress.

Though despite all their efforts at maintaining what they thought they'd found with each other, they had lost the babe. Twice. As if God Himself willed it so that no child would ever result from their treachery. A fitting punishment, as far as Will was concerned.

Love may not have been a weakness, but lust most definitely was. Lust was what drove him to commit the treachery that led to the loss of love.

He should have resisted. Walked away. Ran, even.

Perhaps if he had, you would still be here, serving as a bright ray of sunlight even in the dark gray overcast over your little town. Perhaps your children wouldn't have turned their backs on him and he would be allowed the privilege of getting to see them build their own families, lead their own lives.

Instead all he had was darkness and silence. And he had no one to blame but himself.

"William!" Cora's shriek traveled across the marshes.

Moments like these, he preferred the darkness and silence.

He tried to take in a breath before turning to face her, the picture of a doting partner. "What is it, Cora?"

"The look--the looking glass, I saw--"

Her stammering was cut short by the sound of Matthew frantically ringing the alarm bell. "TIDE INCOMING! EVERYONE GO INSIDE! GET TO SAFETY!"

One of the fishermen in the approaching boats stumbled forward until he fell limp in the reverend's arms. "The waves, they be the size of mountains. Bigger even. God is angry with us."

"No," Matthew wheezed, coughing out sea water. "That wasn't God, out there in the waters. Not our God. That was some sorceress, some witch. Demoness. We must find safety." He began to usher every villager he could find into the church. "She don't look like the type that shows mercy."

"She?" Cora spoke, pointing a shaky finger at the curate. "You…saw her face? Tell me does she look like--"

"Enough talk about the evil looming in on us, Mrs Seaborne!" he snapped, pointing his finger at the Ransome house. "Go home. May this evil, whoever and whatever she may be, have mercy on us all."

"What was that, Cora?" Will hissed as they made their way home. "You look completely beside yourself."

"I could have sworn I saw Y/N's face in the looking glass," she said shakily, gulping for breath, shuddering when she said your name aloud once more. "Will, she looked angry. Vengeful."

"You're not making any sense, Y/N is gone," he said tersely, a familiar lump forming at the back of his throat as he forced himself to acknowledge your absence from his life. He ushered her along, trying to ensure that she at least would not stumble too harshly. "I laid her into the ground myself, gave her eulogy."

"I know," she huffed. "But I also know what I saw, that was no hallucination, Will--"

"I've read texts that there are some pregnancies that alter with the minds, the perception of the expectant mother. Perhaps this is simply one of those cases," he waved off. "Look, Cora we're almost home. We can wait out the storm and then when this is all over you can rest. We all can."

She simply nodded and they cross the marshes back to their home, only to find Francis, pale as freshly pressed cardstock, awaiting them by the door. "Mother, F-Father, there's a woman--" he sputtered out, pointing at the open door.

And then you stepped out. "There you are. Cowards."

William's heart stopped in his chest watching you walk out of your old home, what seemed to be billowing fabric drenched and clinging to your skin, hugging every curve that his hands had longed for since your passing. Even soaking wet, your dress proudly gleamed a brilliant emerald green, and there was a glow that seemed to radiate from underneath your skin.

You were no longer of this earth. You were something…more. Something above them all. And it showed in the way you held yourself, in your gaze as you looked upon the marshes that held your former home. As you looked upon the husband that survived you, your upper lip curling in derision as you saw the bump protruding from Cora's stomach.

"Y/N…" he whispered your name, your sheer presence bringing him to his knees. "Sweet wife, you have returned--"

"Hold that rancid thought," you silenced him, raising your hand in the air as if grasping for something. In an instant, his words ceased, feeling as if his tongue had swollen and became as heavy as lead in his mouth. "You do not get to call me your wife, Reverend Ransome. Not since you sullied your vows and laid with this London whore."

Cora took a step toward you, opening her mouth as if to defend herself, or perhaps her lover. But you put a stop to that as well, raising your other hand in her direction, and suddenly she was forced to sink to her knees as well. "Please, Y/N," she pleaded with you. "Let us take this inside there is a tide coming--"

"Do you mean this tide, friend?" you spat the last word out, as if it tasted bitter on your tongue. Suddenly the tide was steadily approaching the shore, rising to a height that would completely engulf and decimate Aldwinter once it bore down on them. And you rose from the ground, floating well above the roof of the Ransome home, the reverend, along with his lover and her son, looking up at you in sheer horror.

"What do you want from us?!" Francis yelled into the sky, reminding you of how mortal worshippers would look to the sky and beg the gods for explanations. For miracles.

"I do not wish for you to give me anything, young Mr Seaborne. In fact, I wish to offer you all…a choice." You turned your gaze to the kneeling couple. "Get in the water. And perhaps I shall spare this town."

"Y/N please, this town is full of innocent lives, no matter what has happened to you I know in my heart that you would never wreak this kind of devastation upon--"

"What has happened to me?!" you repeated, your shrieking tone piercing even through the deafening sound of the tidal wave still standing tall, waiting to descend. "Your lustful indiscretion cost an innocent life, William Ransome. There is no innocent life in this town. Not anymore. The people here chose to stay silent, to keep your affair a secret for the sake of preventing a scandal. Though that didn't seem to work out the way you'd hoped, did it?" You motioned toward the wave with a jerk of your head again. "Get in the water."

The wave grew even more violent, already taking in the fishing boats and pulling it into its dark abyss.

They both stubbornly stayed still, still kneeling on the muddy marsh ground staying silent. The tramp's hand twitched toward the vicar's, but his moved upward, as if wishing to reach for you.

It was always you, she realized bitterly. She may have him now, but only as a result of his momentary lapse in good judgment where his body chose another's. But his heart…his heart would always choose you.

When presented with any semblance of a choice, Will Ransome would crawl back to you on his hands and knees in a heartbeat. And now she must lie on the bed she made. The bed they both made.

Only when you pointed toward her son, her dear Francis, and he was lifted up from the ground, kicking and struggling in mid-air, did both of them make a noise. Calling out to you, pleading for you to put him down and stop the madness. "This is the last time I will repeat myself, adulterers. Get in the water. Or your boy here suffers first."

"Y/N, stop this," Cora spoke, rising to her feet. "Are you not tired? It has been so long, years, even. Francis was still just a little boy when you last saw him. He is a grown man now, how long will you let anger consume you?"

Even from this distance, you could see the ire in Will's features, clearly ticked off with the words that came out of his lover's mouth. "My darling, please. What must I do to atone for my transgressions towards you? I will promise you anything, do anything. Whatever you wish for, it's yours, please can we just go home?"

You lowered both Francis Seaborne and yourself down to the ground, the young man running immediately to his mother, quivering like a leaf in the wind. The disgraced vicar reached his arms out toward you, every muscle tensing and freezing in place when you rose your hand into the air again. "It is the actions of philanderers like you that make the mortals look down on me, consider me a lesser god."

"God?" Cora repeated in a sharp exhale. "Don't be ridiculous, Y/N--"

"Fools like you don't realize what awaits you on the other side of your mortality, where the fate of your eternal afterlife…falls to me," you cut her off, not bothering to hide the smirk that tugged at the corner of your mouth. "Adulterers doomed to suffer an endless loop of the consequences of their actions."

"My wife--"

"Is dead, Mister Ransome," you bellowed. From the corner of your eye you could see villagers gathering at their windows, the horror in their expressions as they began to speculate on what exactly had come to terrorize their quaint little town. "You killed her, there is no use in denying it. Your foolish, licentious choices brought her to her grave. For that alone, you will suffer once your feeble human life reaches its conclusion."

"If you are not Y/N Ransome, then who are you?" Francis asked, voice shaking as he held on to his mother. "Why have you come to wreak havoc in our lives?"

You walked toward the town's vicar, tears in his eyes as he watched you move closer. He reached for your hands, looking like a wounded pup when you swatted him away. "I am the goddess of fidelity," you answered simply. "When betrayers like you and your mistress cease your time on this mortal plane, you and everyone complicit in your torrid affair will be at my mercy."

The tide rose even higher, looming menacingly over the town in a dangerous arch, blocking out what little light they once had from the sun beyond the clouds. You grasped William's chin harshly, fear evident in his eyes, heart thundering against his chest.

"But your actions, your infidelity in particular…upset my husband," you spoke, holding his gaze as you  hissed the words inches from his face. "And for that, I am willing to bend the rules and begin your suffering ahead of time. Put forth the events that will thrust your pathetic souls upon my doorstep."

You rose from the ground again, rage for your fallen variant coursing through you as you heard them plead for forgiveness. For mercy.

"P-Please Y/N…" Cora sputtered out. "I will leave the town and no one will ever hear from me again, just please let me leave with my boy."

"No," you droned. "You have asked what you can do to atone, I presented you with a choice. Now I know how capable you both are of making choices, you've made several together, some of them even on the very ground you stand on. Which leads me to believe…you have made your choice. Stubbornly bargaining your way out of my wrath, out of your suffering. At the cost of this town you call home."

"You truly aren't Y/N Ransome, are you?" she spat out, a look of entitled indignance on her face. "The Y/N I knew wouldn't be this ruthless. She would have shown mercy--"

"Oh but I am showing mercy, you unworthy tart," you spat back. "For ruthlessness is mercy. Upon ourselves." With a flick of your wrist, the tidal wave was finally let loose.

And the little town of Aldwinter sunk into the water.

Before the tsunami crashed down and took you with it, Loki conjured a portal and pulled you back to safety, a bit of water splashing into your bedchambers before it closed. With a wave of his magic the water evaporated into the air, and your soaked dress was dried.

"Husband…" you spoke, a wide smile gracing your features when your eyes met his. You both were on the floor, the god cradling you in his arms as he pushed your hair away from your face.

"My darling wife," he breathed out, his own smile mirroring yours as he picked you up in his arms, carrying you to the bed. "Your flair for the dramatic has you reckless as ever."

He sat you on the edge of the bed, handing you a goblet of wine that did a quick job of warming you and canceling out the effects of the damp cold of Aldwinter.

"You should rest, my love," he said softly, moving to position himself behind you to undo the braids in your hair, carefully working his fingers through the wet strands. "This is the first time you wielded your newfound powers as a goddess, I can imagine your body feels overworked…and famished."

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled, causing your husband to chuckle and press a tender kiss to your cheek. "How did you know when to pull me back?"

"To start, I must admit that I was watching the spectacular show you put on, avenging your variant with such vigor," he whispered into your skin. His hands found their way to your shoulders, working away at the knots. "And our souls' threads are intertwined, little Princess. I can always feel when you need me. I was made to be yours."

"And I yours," you sighed contendedly, leaning against him when he wrapped his arms around you. When he cupped the side of your face, holding you as he pressed his lips to yours, you all but melted into his embrace. "I love you," you mumbled against his lips.

"And I love you," he murmured, continuing to kiss your lips as he maneuvered you to lie down on the bed. With a wave of his hand, the fabric that covered your skin changed to something much lighter, more sheer. One of your sleeping gowns, you surmised. "Rest, dear heart. I shall arrange for food to be brought to us for when you wake."

Your body was all too eager to obey the softly spoken command. The rest of you, however…well, after the ordeal in that despondent village on Midgard, the rest of you ached for your husband's touch. To wash away the muck of the marshes.

Loki let out a low chuckle, kissing along your clavicle as his hand roamed the side of your body. "I can always feel when you need me," he repeated, his tone holding a much more lustful intent than moments earlier. "And much as I want nothing more than to indulge in making love to my beautiful wife, I cannot, should not, be so selfish and ignore her body's need for rest." He made his way to your lips, allowing himself the tiniest sliver of decadence as he licked into your mouth. "You'll need your strength for what I want to do you later tonight."

Your breath hitched as images flashed in your mind of your husband teasing and pleasuring you, claiming your body repeatedly well until after the sun rose the next morning. In multiple places throughout your marital chambers. Constantly finding or making the time to bring you to orgasm in the midst of pampering you.

Suddenly it made sense why he would choose to deny you now…in exchange for a much more delicious reward just a few short hours away.

"Would you stay regardless, husband?" you asked weakly, already feeling yourself succumbing to the exhaustion and the slumber that your plush sheets promised. "Hold me?"

You weren't able to see the loving smile that graced your husband's face from your request. You only felt the soft kiss on your forehead before he positioned you to lay in his arms. "Gladly, my darling." He conjured a book into his free hand, ready to begin reading to you when a stray question entered his mind. "What of their souls, Y/N? What hellscape did you design for them?"

"I gave them what they deserve," you grumbled, shifting your position to hold him closer, your arm draping over his stomach as you laid your head on his chest. "Each other. They are doomed to spend their afterlife together, with Cora knowing that his heart longs for his late wife. And William having to watch from the sidelines as my variant finds new love. You have a stray echo that never found his fated, by the name of Pine. I presume by now they've found each other, starting a story of their own."

A/N: Hang on what's this…? Did I tease a future story at the end there? 😳 Why yes…yes I did 🤭 Ngl this year felt like I didn't get a whole lotta stories done especially in the latter half, but hopefully with everything finding a bit of balance, 2025 will look a bit different and I can set aside more time for story writing 💖

Ooh, and also I def got the idea to make this because of the "Get in the Water" song

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist @alexakeyloveloki

Halloween and Loki?! MY FAVOURITE COMBINATION!!! This was so wholesome🤭

Guess Who? (Loki x GN!Reader) Halloween Oneshot/Short

Summary: You manage to convince Loki to come to Stark’s Halloween Party, but why were you so insistent he came?

Rating: All ages/SFW

A/N: just a fun little oneshot, kinda idiots in love trope, best friends who are oblivious they are in love, fluffy/humour

Divider by @whimsicalrogers

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

“Well… it’s exactly what I said. I’m not coming. I don’t know what else it could possibly mean-“

“Don’t be a smartass.”

“A themed party with strangers in tacky costumes? A ridiculous dress code to which I will be forced to follow?”

“It’s fun!”

“It’s tedious.”

You pouted slightly, shoulders sagging a little as the God of Mischief leaned against the counter, his cup of freshly brewed tea steaming next to him. His arms folded over his chest, a brow raised as he looked at you, seeing the disappointment in your gaze.

Halloween.

It seemed you were rather excited about the yearly mortal tradition, whereas Loki… Well, you heard him. He thought it was ‘tedious’. Of course, Stark was throwing a party - shocker - and whilst you weren’t usually fussed about them, this one was different because it was Halloween. Plus, you may have spent far too long making your costume. Sure, you could’ve just bought one, but it gave you something to do in your free time and you were pretty proud of it.

“I thought Halloween would be right up your alley.” You quipped, raising a brow of your own in a silent challenge. “You don’t even need to dress up, you can just shape shift into something scary.” You paused, a smirk tugging at your lips. “Or you could just go like this.” You teased, gesturing towards him. “I mean, you’re pretty scary.” Loki tilted his head, biting back a smirk.

“Ha. Ha.” He breathed out, deadpan. You grinned, eyes crinkling before a sigh escaped.

“Come on, please.” You took a step closer, standing before him. “You won’t have to talk to anyone else except me, we can just stand off to the side and judge everyone’s costumes. I know you’ll love to do that.” You tried, trying to coax him into agreeing to attend the party. Loki narrowed his eyes slightly, picking up on some hidden agenda you seemed to have behind your encouragement.

“Why is my attendance so important to you?” He asked skeptically, making you shrug faintly, trying to appear casual. “Barton is choosing not to attend and yet, I don’t see you badgering him.”

“Because he’s taking his kids trick or treating!” You argued, seeing Loki roll his eyes. “Besides, we’re best friends-“

“I’m your best friend-“

“We’re best friends-“ You repeated, making Loki smirk as he reached round to grab his cup from the counter, turning slightly away from you to do so. “And I may have a surprise for you.”

Loki’s brows raised at those words, his actions pausing. Slowly, he turned his head to look at you once again. “A surprise?” He asked, curious as you nodded. “For me?” Another nod. Loki hummed lowly in thought, lifting his cup to his lips, taking a small sip. You watched him intently, tilting your head and batting your eyelashes ever so slightly. He had to admit, whenever you pulled that move it was hard for him to say no.

With a heavy sigh, Loki conceded.

“Fine.”

You let out a whispered ‘yes’ in triumph, a smile tugging at your lips. “But-“ Loki raised a finger. “I am not staying until god knows what hour nor am I to be expected to enjoy myself.”

“Seems fair.” You mused, unable to stop the small giddy shuffle of your feet as you cleared your throat. “I promise, it will be worth it.”

Loki stood outside your quarters door, dressed in a tailored all black suit. He refused to adhere to the costume dress code, it was bad enough he was going, let alone having to dress as some sort of ghoul, the undead or something else that was considered ‘spooky’ by the humans. Knocking, he could hear rustling movement behind the door, along with a ‘just a second’. Adjusting the cuffs of his suit jacket, he glanced down the corridor, spotting the familiar figures of Wanda and Vision who had seemingly dressed up as a couple - although, the reference of their outfits was lost on him.

Whilst his gaze was turned, he heard the door click open, seeing your familiar figure out the corner of his eye before he turned to look at you.

Loki’s brows raised, lips parting as he took in your appearance. You were stood with a big grin on your face, arms spread in a ‘ta-da’ manner, clearly extremely pleased with your efforts.

“So… what do you think?” You asked, watching his face closely.

Loki blinked, blue eyes trailing over your form, trying to find the right words.

“You’re…” He muttered. “Me?”

Yes, you had spent the last few weeks putting together a very rough ensemble that was supposed to look like Loki’s Asgardian attire. The horns that sat upon your head had been made out of cardboard, painted gold and fixed to you via an elastic band that went around your head. The emerald cape looked like an old velvet blanket that you’d managed to clip together around your neck with a number of safety pins, draped around your all black one piece that you had decorated with gold paint for details. It was very makeshift.

You nodded your head to his question, the cardboard horns moving with you as Loki processed the sight before him. He didn’t know if he should be offended or flattered at first, before he saw the genuine joy in your eyes. And knowing you… He knew it was a compliment and not a jab.

“Well… It’s certainly…” Loki cleared his throat, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “A look.” He mused playfully. “How long did you spend on this?”

“Too long.” You replied wryly, letting out a small laugh, looking down at your attire. “A few weeks?” You shrugged.

“So, this is what you have been doing in your free time?” He asked, raising a brow as he gestured towards you. Another nod from you. “You spent hours putting this together? You could’ve just… purchased a costume though, correct?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to go as you.” You answered lightly, meeting his gaze again. There was sincerity in your tone, making Loki’s own gaze soften a fraction. “Halloween isn’t just about dressing as something scary or creepy-“ You began to explain. “You can also dress as something you like, or someone you admire or-“

“You admire me?” Loki blinked, surprise colouring his tone. You furrowed your brows, pausing.

“Well… yeah?” You replied, your words coming out in a ‘I thought that was obvious’ tone. “But not in a ‘wow, he’s a God, he’s so cool’ way, in a ‘that’s my friend and he’s kinda cool I guess’ way.” Your words made Loki let out a sound that was a mix of a scoff and a laugh. “I didn’t do it so your ego got bigger.” You added playfully, giving him a knowing look.

Loki couldn’t stop the slow grin that tugged at his lips, the sentiment that you had chosen to dress as him for the costume party was… strangely warming. “I’m afraid that’s the exact outcome this-“ He gestured towards your attire. “-has created.” He teased, leaning casually against the doorframe, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets. You rolled your eyes in amusement. “In fact, I fear my head may be too big to get through the entrance to the party-“

“Uh uh- You said you were coming, so you’re coming.” You pointed up at him, tone stern, making Loki inwardly groan. “I accepted the fact you didn’t want to dress up and let you wear your Gucci suit.” You added, making Loki narrow his eyes into a playful glare. “It’s called compromise, Loki.” With a dramatic sigh, Loki conceded again.

“Fine.” He muttered, pushing himself off the doorframe. “Let’s go make people think I’m even more narcissistic than they already believe me to be.” He quipped, raising a brow. “Considering I will seemingly be in my own company for the evening.” He mused, smirking faintly as he eyed your costume once again. He had to admit, he was secretly… endeared by it. And you did look rather good in green and gold, not that he would admit that aloud.

“If I must attend this farce, it may as well be in company I can endure.” You lowered your voice, mimicking his way of speaking. “Myself, of course. Because my own company is far superior than any of you mere mortals.” You raised your chin, feigning haughtiness as Loki raised brow, tilting his head slightly. His features morphed into a look of amusement and feigned indignation.

“I do not sound like that.” He furrowed his brows, watching as you grabbed your bag.

“I do not sound like that.” You mimicked again.

“Please tell me you’re not going to do that all evening.” His amusement slightly faded, a hint of genuine concern creeping into his voice as he took a step back to allow you to leave your quarters.

“Don’t be absurd.” You commented, one last impersonation before you let out a laugh, closing the door behind you. “No, it’s exhausting being you.” You waved a hand, making Loki let out a breath of relief, hearing you begin to head down the hall. After a moment, he realised what you had said, his lips parting, brows creasing as he quickly moved after you.

“Uh- I don’t think ‘exhausting’ is quite the right word!”

Got me chewing imaginary gum and feeling sassy like the reader🤪 I LOVED THIS SO MUCH OMG!

Collateral Damage [Logan Howlett]

SUMMARY: The X-men are heroes—they save the world, eradicate threats and protect both mutants and humans alike. You don't see it that way, though. To you, they cause more harm than good, and you want nothing to do with them.

WARNINGS: one-sided e2l, reader is stubborn af but it's valid, arguing, canon-level violence, scott's a dick, SMUT - 18+ only! WC: 21k - MASTERLIST

A/N: i've always wanted to write a fic with this plot, it's been on my mind for AGES. happy reading!

----

The first time you see them, it’s on your birthday.

Not being one for big, elaborate parties, you planned a quiet celebration instead—maybe a stroll through the lively city streets, followed by dinner with friends later. You had just visited your favourite store, buying a gift for yourself, and now you’re on your way back home.

The streets buzz with life as people shop, eat, and laugh, making it the perfect backdrop for a peaceful walk and some casual people-watching.

Then, out of nowhere, the ground trembles.

At first, you think it’s an earthquake—a quick jolt beneath your feet that sends a ripple of confusion through your body. But the tremor grows stronger, the ground shaking violently as everyone around you begins to panic, frantically looking around for the source, you included. And that’s when you see it. 

A hulking, green monster stomping through the city streets like something out of a nightmare. It has to be at least twenty feet tall, its skin a sickly shade of green, its eyes glowing with rage. Cars bounce with each heavy footstep, leaving deep footprints in the cement in its wake.

People scream, scrambling to get out of its path, but you stand frozen, heart pounding as you try to make sense of what’s happening. In the blink of an eye, the city had been plunged into chaos. You lose track of your surroundings, too busy trying to keep your eyes on the monster headed your way, while also dodging the hoard of pedestrians running for their lives.

Until they show up.

Initially, you don’t even notice them. After all, there’s so much going on around you at this point you barely know what to do with yourself. Yet, through the dust and destruction, you see flashes of movement—figures darting toward the monster with a sense of purpose. 

You don’t know who they are, but their bright blue and yellow suits make it seem like you should. At first glance, it’s hard not to feel a sense of awe. They move with such confidence, with their powers on full display for the world to see. You’ve never seen anything like it—a team of mutants using their powers in the open, fighting for what you assume is the greater good.

Maybe they can stop this!

The one first to act is a woman with white hair. She raises her arms to the sky, her eyes glowing a bright white as dark clouds swirl above, blocking out the sun. A flash of lightning slams into the monster's chest, forcing it to reel back with a thunderous roar of agony, and the crowd around you gasps, watching in wonder.

But when the lightning strikes a second time, it veers off course, crashing into the side of a nearby building. The structure groans under the impact, flames erupting from the point of contact as windows shatter, sending glass raining down onto the street below.

The collision sends you to the ground, and when you look up again, you see the power inside go out, all the lights flickering off.

Whatever awe you’d been feeling dissolves into concern, a sinking feeling settling in your chest.

Following her, a man with a glowing red visor strides forward. He’s clearly aiming to hit the monster, but the bright red beam shooting from his eyes slices through several cars in the street first, flipping them over and leaving them in smoldering wrecks. One of the blasts tears through a storefront, reducing it to rubble in a matter of seconds. More people scream and scatter, trying to escape the destruction.

From the corner of your eye, you see another mutant—a man with claws—lunge toward the monster, jumping onto cars to get closer to its head. But by using the parked cars as springboards, the weight of him causes the roof to sink in, and his claws leave deep gashes in the metal. 

How heavy is this guy? Is he made of metal or something?

He’s fast, brutal, slashing at the green beast with some serious ferocity. Still, despite the attack, the monster’s strength prevails, and it easily tosses him aside, crashing into buildings, crowds—anything in the way. To your surprise, he always gets back up. And that should be good, right? They are fighting for the safety of the city. 

But as debris rains down and cars are overturned, you can’t help but feel like this isn’t helping. You’re constantly dodging rubble, trying to find shelter, only for it to be destroyed seconds later. It’s like being in a war zone, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

And above it all, there’s a woman with red hair. She’s floating, and you watch from where you’re hiding as she lifts entire trees from their roots, hurling them at the monster in an attempt to slow it down. Except, much like her teammates, her attempt goes awry, and she misses, the trees now flying toward you. 

You barely have the reflexes to dive out of the way.

Your heart races, breath coming in shallow bursts as you press yourself against a wall, trying to steady yourself. The sound of sirens blare in the distance, but it doesn’t seem like help is coming anytime soon. There’s too much going on. People are running, pushing each other aside, crying, screaming, trying to find safety.

Glancing around, you’re met with destruction—flames licking at the sidewalk, cars totaled, and building wreckage littering the streets. These mutants, while clearly powerful, are causing just as much destruction as the monster itself.

What should have been a simple takedown—a 6v1—has turned into a full-scale disaster.

And yet, they don’t stop. They don’t pause to help the people caught in the crossfire, don’t even seem to notice the damage they’re causing. They’re so focused on the monster, so focused on the fight, that they’ve lost sight of everything else.

Is this what heroism looks like? You’d been excited at first—amazed, even—thinking they were here to save the day. But now, standing in the middle of a city that’s being torn apart, you realize how wrong you were.

They don’t care. Not about the city. Not about the people. 

Finally, with one last blast from the man with the visor, the monster collapses to the ground, defeated. It lets out a final roar before falling still, its massive body sprawled across the street.

The team stands over its body, their chests heaving with exertion, but they have smiles on their faces, feeling victorious. One by one, they board an aircraft, dragging the monster in with them, barely sparing a glance at the horrors they’ve caused. The white-haired woman doesn’t even bother to clear the storm clouds she summoned.

Within moments, they’re gone. You, and everyone else in the area, are left to deal with the fallout. Left to clean up their mess. 

Happy birthday to me, I guess.

—

After that, you spend the next few days trying to process what had happened. You’re still in a state of shock, confusion, and disbelief, but then the media catches wind of what went down, and suddenly, it’s everywhere.

News channels replay the footage over and over, the headlines screaming about “our holy saviours” saving the day. They’re plastered across every screen, being hailed as protectors.

The X-Men.

A group of mutant superheroes, apparently. The reporters list them off one by one, like they’re celebrities you should have known about. 

Storm. Cyclops. Wolverine. Jean Grey.

Mutants with powers like gods.

—

The second time you see them, you’re on vacation.

Sitting in a quaint café in the south of France, you’re enjoying a well-deserved break. The city you’re in is perfect—cobblestone streets winding through the village, vine-covered walls framing pastel-colored houses, and the scent of fresh bread drifting from nearby bakeries. It all feels like something out of a dream, the kind of peaceful retreat you’ve been desperate for after everything back home.

You order a frappé, and as you wait, you idly flip through a local newspaper, trying to see how much of your rusty high school French you can remember. It’s peaceful, quiet, exactly what you needed—until it’s not.

Movement out of the corner of your eye grabs your attention, and you glance over the edge of the newspaper, watching a group of tourists as they walk into the café. It’s not really anything odd, so you don’t think much of it—they’re dressed casually, like any group of vacationers.

Though, something about them tugs at the back of your mind, a nagging feeling that you’ve seen them before.

You lower the newspaper entirely now, staring as you try to place where you recognize them from. The tall one with the red sunglasses, the woman with the striking white hair, the man in the leather jacket... You squint, the pieces slowly falling into place.

And then it hits you.

Oh, no way.

You’re halfway around the world, in a different country, on a different continent, and somehow, they’re here. At the same café. 

Shifting in your seat, you’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on, when the barista arrives with your drink. He smiles warmly at you, placing the cup down on the table with a soft “voila madame,” but before you can even thank him, there’s a blur of motion.

One of them—Wolverine, you think—lunges at the barista, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him back. The tray tips, and your frappé spills everywhere—all over the table, your newspaper, and, to your absolute horror, all over you. 

“Logan, no!” you hear Storm shout, but it’s too late.

The cold drink soaks into your clothes, and you let out a startled yelp, jumping up as your chair topples over. Your clothes are ruined, your vacation ruined, and in the midst of all of this?

Wolverine—or Logan, you guess, is wrestling with the poor barista.

“What the hell?!” you shout, trying to shake off the liquid dripping down your legs. “Is this a joke?!”

No one hears you, or even acknowledges you.

The other mutants jump into action, and before you know it, the peaceful café is transformed into yet another battleground. Cyclops blasts a beam at the barista—who you now realize must be the target of whatever mission they’re on—but it misses, smashing into the wall behind you. 

You’re furious, covered in a brown drink that makes it seem like you just had explosive diarrhea, and caught in yet another X-Men fiasco. All you wanted was a vacation. You don’t even know what’s happening anymore—who the barista is, what mission they’re on—but frankly, you don’t care.

This is absurd!

Without a second thought, you grab your bag and make a break for it, dodging overturned tables and debris as you make your way to the exit. You don’t bother looking back, your only thought being to get changed, and get as far away as possible.

After rounding the corner, putting some distance between yourself and the café, you pause for a moment to catch your breath. And then you hear it.

Boom.

The sound reverberates through the narrow streets, shaking the cobblestones beneath your feet. You whirl around, sticking your head out from the corner of the building, just in time to see a plume of smoke rising into the air from where the café once stood. 

Your heart sinks.

They blew it up.

—

The third time you see them, it’s a really nice day outside.

It’s a week after you’ve returned home, and the weather had finally given you a break from the suffocating heat. You’re walking home from a lunch with an old friend, when your phone buzzes in your pocket. Probably said friend sending you something stupid to laugh at later. 

You chuckle, already anticipating the joke, when—

BAM!

Something slams into you from the side with the force of a freight train. You’re airborne for a second, weightless, before crashing hard onto the pavement, your breath knocked right out from your lungs. 

Dazed, you groan and blink up at the sky, trying to get your bearings. What the hell just hit me? Your vision swims as you sit up, shoulder throbbing from the impact. Twisting your neck to see whatever the hell that was, you immediately regret it, wincing at the sharp pain. 

Great, just great.

When you finally manage to sit up, you spot the culprit.

Cyclops.

Are you fucking serious?!

His back is to you, dusting off his ugly uniform like nothing happened. You look around, and notice that the street in front you is in ruins—buildings have gaping holes where windows used to be, chunks of the road are crumbling, people covered in blood scurrying away as fast as they can. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you catch a glimpse of the giant mechanical robots looming above, scanning for their targets. One of them must’ve thrown Cyclops into you. 

You can see the others—Jean, Storm, Beast (some new guy)—flying around, saving the world. That’s codeword for: wreaking havoc, destroying your city.

Anger boils up inside you, hot and unrelenting as you struggle to your feet, rubbing your sore shoulder. But as you open your mouth, a gruff voice cuts through the air.

"Good job, dickhead. You just hurt a civilian."

Your gaze snaps toward the sound. Wolverine’s standing a few feet away, claws out, glaring at the guy who sent you flying. 

“I was thrown, Logan,” he says passively. “Maybe if you kept the Sentinels off me—”

“Maybe if you didn’t stand there like a damn target, you wouldn’t get thrown!” The clawed mutant growls, taking a step closer. His whole posture is tense, like he’s barely holding himself back from tackling the other man into the ground (you would pay to have him do it). “Seriously, Summers, it’s like you want to get tossed around.”

Cyclops doesn’t even flinch. “We’ve got bigger problems than this right now,” he dismisses, not even glancing back at you to check if you’re okay. 

Well, there goes the last of your patience.

"Are you kidding me?!" you shout, throwing your hands up in disbelief. They completely ignore you, too absorbed in their petty bickering to acknowledge that you’re still standing there, seething.

Before you can rip into them, something catches your eye—a Sentinel (is that what they’re called?), hovering above them, charging up a blast. Its arm is raised, energy crackling at the barrel of its cannon, aimed directly at the two distracted morons.

“Oh, for the love of—” you mutter under your breath before diving forward.

The blast hits you square in the chest, but instead of pain, all you feel is the heat of the energy surging through your body, like lightning spreading through every inch of your veins. It crackles and burns, the force building up inside you until it feels like you’re about to explode.

Then, with a deep breath, you thrust your hands forward, channeling and releasing the blast right back at the robot, blowing it apart. Metal and circuits rain down, the Sentinel crashing into the ground with a deafening thud.

Silence falls.

You’re panting, feeling the leftover energy fizzle out of your fingertips. Slowly, you turn back around, and unsurprisingly, Cyclops–or Scott, as you’ve heard in the news—and Logan are staring at you like you just walked on water. Well, the clawed one is. You can’t really see the other brown-haired man’s expression due to his visor.  

“Woah, bub—”

“Oh, hell no!” You spin around fully, pointing an accusatory finger at both of them. “Are you kidding me right now? I just saved your asses because you were too busy bickering like children to notice the massive death robot about to blow you to pieces!”

Logan’s mouth quirks up, but he wisely stays silent.

“And this is exactly why I hate you people!” You continue, exasperated. “You swoop in, make a mess, destroy everything in your path, and then just leave like nothing happened! You think this is helping anyone? You think the people running for their lives right now give a damn about your little team squabbles?”

Scott doesn’t even blink. “We’re just trying to help,” he says evenly, like he’s rehearsed the line a thousand times.

“Help?” you scoff incredulously. “You only tell yourself you’re doing that to make yourself feel better. How many casualties do you think are coming out of this, hm? What’s the body count gonna be after today? Or do you not even bother counting anymore?”

His audacity makes you want to laugh. He opens his mouth to respond, but you’re not done.

"All this mess, the destroyed buildings, the people who won’t make it home tonight because you couldn’t keep your damn fight contained! You’re so focused on stopping the big bad guys that you don’t even realize how much carnage you leave behind. Who’s cleaning up after you? Who’s paying for this?! " You gesture around wildly. "News flash: the people whose lives you’re currently ruining!”

Beside him, Logan’s smirk fades, and he begins to step forward with his hands raised. “Listen, darlin’, we’re doin’ the best we can. We didn’t ask for this fight—”

"Oh, don’t give me that ‘best we can’ bullshit," you snap.

“We’re here to protect people,” Scott adds in, trying to maintain authority. “It’s not always clean, but we are making a difference—"

“Shut the fuck up! I’m not finished!” You interrupt, shaking your head. “Every day. Every damn day there’s something new.”

With the face Logan’s making, you’d think he’s going to start going in on you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just watches, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he’s trying to figure you out. It’s unnerving, but you don’t care. You’ve had enough.

"And you," you say, turning your ire toward him, "You couldn’t have, I don’t know, used your super speed or whatever the hell you do to catch him before he crashed into me?"

His eyebrow quirks up. “Super speed?” he chuckles lowly. “Ain’t that fast, bub. Was a little busy with the giant killer robots.”

You tilt your head back in frustration and turn on your heel. "I’m done. I don’t care what kind of mission you’re on, or how noble you think it is. If you're planning to lay waste to the city yet again, be my guest.”

Giving no time for a response, you stalk off, weaving through the wreckage of the city streets, your heart still pounding in your chest. 

—

A couple weeks have passed since the last incident, and the X-Men seem to have disappeared from the headlines. You haven’t seen them or heard their whereabouts splashed across the news like you’ve gotten used to—though not by choice, of course. Whenever they do anything, the world seems to bow at their feet.

You don’t get it.

The flashy suits, the team name, the way they strut around as if they’re the Gods of the mutant race. It’s too much, too loud. They act like they’re above it all, as if their powers and heroics put them on a pedestal. Better than those who prefer to lay low, who have no choice but to blend in.

You’ve spent years hiding your powers, keeping them buried deep where no one can see. When you were younger, you didn’t have a choice. Your mutation made you a target—bullied, beaten up, pushed around for being different.

You learned quickly that being a mutant didn’t make you special. It made you vulnerable.

So, you hid. You stayed quiet, under the radar. It was safer that way.

And then here are the X-Men, parading around like their abilities make them untouchable, like they’ve forgotten what it’s like for the rest of you. It’s not that you don’t believe in helping others—you just don’t believe in the way they do it.

In your opinion, it’s all performance. From what you’ve experienced and seen up close, they always arrive with a fanfare, ready to jump into action, and do whatever they can to exterminate the threat. Yet, when the dust settles, it’s mutants like you who are left to pick up the pieces.

The ones who don’t wear brightly coloured costumes or shout about unity. You’re the ones who have to keep moving, keep surviving, without any recognition.

But it's not like you need recognition. You never have. What you need is peace.

—

You’re on the phone with your mom, trying to reassure her for the millionth time this week.

"Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, Mom, I’m fine," you say, pacing the length of your small living room. You glance at the muted TV screen, the news still cycling through the usual mayhem. "You’ve seen the news recently, right? We’ve got the X-Men to take care of all this stuff—"

Knock. Knock.

You freeze mid-sentence, your words trailing off as the sound of someone at your door interrupts the call. Your heart skips a beat, and your voice drops. "Mom, I’ll call you back."

Barely waiting for her to reply, you end the call, staring at the door like it might explode.

A knock at this hour? Unannounced? You waver, your mind racing with possibilities.

Delivery? A neighbour? You’re not expecting anyone.

Cautiously, you make your way toward the door, hand hovering over the handle as you listen. No more knocks, just the faint hum of the outside world. You take a breath, steeling yourself as you turn the handle and crack the door open.

The tufts of hair, the thick stubble, the edge in his eyes—it’s him. Wolverine. And just as your brain registers his face, you also notice the glint of metal where his claws are already halfway out.

Instincts kick in, and before he can get a word in, you push against the door, trying to slam it shut.

Still, he’s faster.

His fist punches through the wood, and with a metallic snikt, his claws extend fully, slicing through the door as if it were made of paper. He pushes it open again, forcing it against your effort, and the sheer strength sends you stumbling back.

“What the fuck?” you gasp, eyes wide as you steady yourself. “How did you even find me?”

Stepping inside, he says, “picked up your scent and followed it,” matter-of-factly, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

For a moment, you just stare at him, dumbfounded. “That’s… that’s actually really creepy,” you manage, still trying to process the fact that he just said that without a hint of shame.

“Can’t control it, bub,” he shrugs. 

You take a step back, putting more distance between you and the man with the claws standing in your apartment. “Okay, well, you found me. Now what?”

His eyes lock onto yours. “I need you to come with me.”

“Excuse me?” You cross your arms, eyebrows shooting up in disbelief. 

“You’re not safe here.”

“Oh, I’m not safe?” you snap, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “Maybe if you and your merry band of idiots didn’t keep causing world-ending disasters, I wouldn’t need to be safe!”

He doesn’t even flinch. “Sentinels are tracking you down.”

You falter. “What are you talking about?”

“You used your powers,” he states. “Killed a Sentinel. That’s all it takes for them to target you.”

Blinking, you feel anger rush to the surface, your skin tingling with rage. “I didn’t kill anyone. They’re fucking robots.”

“They don’t see it that way,” he counters. “You took one down, and now they know what you are.”

Part of you knows there’s merit in what he’s saying, but you don’t want to hear it. The last thing you want is to be dragged into some mutant-robot war. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t ask for any of this!” you hiss, glaring at him. “And now you’re telling me I’m on some kill list because I defended myself? Because I defended you?!”

His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite read, but he stays silent, watching you carefully. Your words start flying faster now, venom spilling into each one.

“I’m the one who took that thing down because you and that one-eyed bitch boy were too busy being immature! You weren’t even paying attention, and that thing almost blasted you both.” Your fingers ball into fists. "I saved both of you, and now I’m the one who has to run?"

Logan's jaw clenches, his nostrils flaring at the accusation. “We weren’t—”

“Don’t even try to deny it,” you cut him off. “If it weren’t for me, the two of you would be dead right now. And now I’m supposed to just go with you to your mansion and hide out? Like that’s going to fix th—”

You don’t get to end your rant, because he has stepped forward, and grabbed your shoulders, gripping you firmly. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to snap your attention back to him.

“This is serious,” he spits, eyes boring into yours. “You stay here, you die.”

His words slam into you. He’s not trying to scare you—he’s telling the truth.

“You don’t get to be stubborn about this,” he continues firmly. “You think you’re pissed off now? Wait until they come crashing through your door in the middle of the night, and you don’t have a chance to fight back.”

Wrenching yourself out of his grasp, you take a few steps back. “I just—” you begin to say, but the words feel tangled in your throat. The denial is still there, but it’s weakening, cracking. “I don’t want to run.”

“You’re not running,” he sighs, his voice softening ever so slightly. “You’re buying time. Time to fight back, time to survive. But if you stay here? There’s none of that.”

You want to argue more, want to scream at him to get away, to not drag you into his fight, but instead, you let out a long, shaky breath, your shoulders slumping. “Fine,” you breath out. 

He nods, finally releasing his grip on you and stepping back. “Good. Pack up your shit. We leave in half an hour.”

Then, he walks over to your couch and plops down like he owns the place, crossing his arms as if settling in for a casual wait.

You roll your eyes, muttering under your breath. “Unbelievable.”

Ignoring him, you turn and head into your bedroom, where you start throwing clothes into a duffel bag—jeans, a couple of shirts, whatever you can grab quickly. Your movements are hurried, fuelled by a mix of frustration and the creeping anxiety gnawing at the edges of your mind. Grabbing your toiletries, you stuff them into a smaller bag, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the fact that some random mutant tracked you down, and now you have to leave your life until you’re safe. 

You peer back into the hallway, hearing the faint creak of the couch as Logan shifts around. I’m gonna kill this guy, you think to yourself. 

Once everything is packed and you’ve zipped your bag, you head back into the main room, only to see said random mutant still sprawled on your couch, looking far too comfortable, with a cigar in his hand.

“Seriously?” you say, slinging your duffel over your shoulder. “Make yourself at home, why don’t you.”

He grunts in response but doesn’t move. Typical.

You glance at the clock—still a few minutes left of the half-hour he allotted you, but there’s no point in dragging it out. “I’m ready,” you say flatly, heading toward the door.

Logan stands, stretches his arms over his head, and cracks his neck like he’s waking up from a nap. “Let’s go then.”

—

The ride is tense and quiet, which suits you just fine. You’d rather not talk to him anyway. Every now and then, you let out a loud sigh, unable to hold back the annoyance you’re feeling. Each time, you feel Logan’s eyes dart toward you from the driver’s seat, but he doesn’t say anything. Well, that is, until—

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” he growls, keeping his eyes on the road.

You clench your jaw, shifting in your seat. “I didn’t even say anything, jackass.”

He huffs, clearly not in the mood for an argument, but the strain between you is almost impossible to ignore. You cross your arms, staring out the window, observing the landscape shift as the drive continues. 

Eventually, you can see the outline of the mansion, and you watch as it gets bigger and bigger the closer you get. Upon arrival, He pulls the car up to the front and cuts the engine. You both sit there for a moment, mute. 

“Well, here we are,” he mumbles after the pause stretches on for an uncomfortable amount of time, glancing over at you.

“Great,” you say sarcastically, unbuckling your seatbelt and pushing open the car door. 

Logan walks ahead without saying a word, leading the way up the grand stone steps toward the front door. You trail behind, your mood darkening with every step, glaring at the perfectly polished entrance. 

The doors open before you even reach them, and you’re greeted by an older man in a wheelchair—Charles Xavier, if you remember correctly. The famous telepath. The genius behind the mutant team (some news anchor's words, not yours). His expression is kind, but you’re in such a bad mood, you don’t even bother trying to seem polite.

“Welcome,” He says with a warm smile, his eyes assessing you with an intensity that makes your skin crawl. “Logan’s told me a lot about you.”

You press your lips together in a line. “Yeah? Well, don’t get too excited.”

Logan grunts beside you. “She’s got a bit of an attitude,” he mutters to Charles, then turns to you, gesturing you to follow him. “Come on, bub.”

Inwardly groaning, you have no choice but to follow him. Everything about this place screams “too good to be true,” and you hate it already. You’re used to keeping your head down, blending in, not being surrounded by people who wear their powers on their sleeves like some badge of honour.

As you walk through the halls, a few faces appear—other mutants, some of them kids, watching curiously as you pass by. You can feel their eyes on you, can hear the whispers already starting about the new arrival. 

Charles wheels alongside you, still smiling, but there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You remind me of Logan when he first joined us,” he says thoughtfully.

That stops you in your tracks.

You whip your head toward the man, giving him a piercing look. “Do not say that. We are nothing alike.”

On your other side, Logan smirks. “Not sure if I should be offended or not.”

“I’m serious.” If looks could kill, he’d be six feet under.

Chucking softly, Charles seems completely unaffected by your outburst. “You’re both a bit rough around the edges, but you’ll find your place here.”

“Yeah, sure,” you say. “Because that’s exactly what I want to do.”

Deeper into the mansion, you catch sight of the X-Men you’ve seen before: Cyclops, Storm, Jean Grey. They all turn to look at you, sizing you up. You don’t flinch—you just stare back, your expression hard.

Pulling your duffel bag higher on your shoulder, you rip your eyes away from theirs, and keep walking, following Logan down the long, quiet hallway. Finally, he stops in front of a door.

“This is your room,” he grunts, nodding toward it. “Try not to break anything.”

Choosing silence, you push the door open. Stepping inside, you expect the bare minimum—a bed, maybe a closet—but instead, you’re met with a surprisingly large space. There’s a massive bed in the center of the room, a desk by the window, and, to your surprise, a set of glass doors leading out to a balcony.

You drop your bag by the door, glancing around, trying to shake off the unease. This is way too nice for a prisoner. You walk toward the balcony doors, curious despite yourself, and when you pull them open, the cool breeze hits you immediately.

Once you’re outside, you realize something that immediately makes your stomach drop.

The balcony is shared. And right next to your side, leaning against the railing with a cigar between his fingers, is Logan.

You halt mid-motion, eyes fixed on him in stunned silence. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He glances over, a smirk playing on his lips as he takes a drag of his cigar. “Surprise.”

You groan, turning your back on him and walking toward the opposite edge of the balcony, trying to calm the annoyance inside you. Of all the people you could’ve been stuck beside, it had to be him. It’s not enough that he dragged you here, but now there’s a chance you’re going to have to see him every time you step outside.

“So what now?” you mutter, staring out over the mansion grounds, the manicured gardens below looking like something out of a postcard. “I’m just supposed to stay here, be a part of your little mutant club?”

Taking another slow pull on his cigar, “You’re supposed to stay alive. Everythin’ else? That’s up to you.”

“But why do you suddenly care?” you ask. “I’ve seen the way you operate. You and your team sweep in, fight your battles, and then leave everyone else in the dirt. You don’t care about the collateral damage—hell, you cause half of it.” 

Logan pauses, his cigar halfway to his lips. He doesn’t answer right away, and the brief hesitation only makes your irritation spike. You press on, inching closer, voice laced with accusation.

“Why now?” you press. “Why drag me into this when you’ve never cared about anyone else in the crossfire?”

Logan finally turns to face you, exhaling a cloud of smoke before speaking, his expression hardened. “This ain’t about me ‘caring,’” he says flatly. “This is about survival. You killed a Sentinel, whether you like it or not. That puts a target on your back.”

“Yeah, you’ve made that very clear,” you bite out. “But you still haven’t answered my question. Why me? Why am I suddenly important to you?”

Logan’s eyes darken, drilling into yours. “You’re not important to me,” he says flatly. “But they won’t stop until they get you. The destruction that’ll come from that—if your stubborn ass fought back, which I know it would, by the way—would be much greater than anything we would cause.”

“Doubt that,” you snarl bitterly. You don’t linger for the sound of his response, spinning on your heel and walking back into your room, slamming the balcony door behind you.

The bed is large and you can’t deny how inviting it looks after the day you’ve had. You flop onto it face-first, letting out a long, drawn out sigh.

You’re barely able to reflect on the chaotic day you’ve had before your eyelids flutter shut, and you sink into a deep slumber, the exhaustion from everything catching up to you.

—

You’re jolted awake by a loud, aggressive knock on your bedroom door. The sound is so forceful it feels like the entire frame is rattling. You release a sound, half groan, half sigh, steeped in frustration. Your face is still buried in your pillow, and you curse whoever decided to ruin what little sleep you managed to get.

“Get up,” Logan’s gruff voice calls from the other side of the door. “We’re leaving for breakfast in ten.”

Ah yes. Of-fucking-course it's him. Who else would it be?

Dragging yourself out of bed, you throw on some clothes and make a half-hearted attempt to fix your hair before opening the door, ready to curse him, but he's already striding down the hallway, hardly bothering to check if you're following. You roll your eyes, your steps slow and begrudging as you move to follow

As you catch up, you can’t help but throw him a sideways glare. “Why are you acting like my personal bodyguard?”

“Gotta make sure you don’t do anything reckless.”

You scoff, crossing your arms as you fall into step beside him. “You don’t even know what I can do.”

Logan’s lips twitch into a lazy smirk, and you immediately want to wipe it off his face. “Exactly,” he says, his tone almost amused. “Which is why today, we’re gonna test you.”

You stop in your tracks, staring at his back. “Test me? What the hell does that mean?”

He stops too, turning to face you. “Means you’re gonna show me what you’re capable of.”

Teeth clenched, you feel the slow rise of aggravation mingling with apprehension. “I’m not some science experiment.”

“No,” he agrees, “but you’re not a regular person, either. You need to know your limits—and how to handle what’s coming.”

Groaning, you drag your hands down your face incredulously. “I don’t even know what to say back to that. All I know is that I’m hungry.”

—

The kitchen of Xavier’s mansion is bustling with activity as the two of you walk in. The rest of the team is gathered around a large table at the centre of the room, and you spot Jean, Cyclops, Storm, and a few others sitting together, chatting, but you feel no desire to join them. 

Rather, you gravitate toward a smaller table by the window, hoping to get some peace while you choke down breakfast. The chair scrapes lightly as you pull it out and sit down, fully expecting to be left alone.

But to your surprise, Logan follows and plops down in the seat across from you.

You raise an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

He shrugs and digs into his food. "Eating. You got a problem with that?"

You cast a quick look toward the large table where the rest of the team sits. It feels strange, having him eat with you, especially when the rest of his team is so obviously waiting for him to join them.

"No," you murmur, shaking your head as you return to your plate. "Just didn’t think you’d stray from the flock."

“They’re fine without me.”

You push your food around with your fork, trying to push past the heavy air of discomfort in the room. Everyone keeps glancing in your direction, and you sense their curiosity, the questions hovering in silence, but no one has the courage to ask. And honestly, you’re grateful for the space.

Just as you’re finishing up, a low voice catches your attention. 

"I just don’t understand why they brought her here," Jean’s voice carries across the room, quieter than before, but still clear enough for you to hear. “She doesn’t seem like she has what it takes. It’s like they’re bringing in someone who’s—” She pauses, clearly thinking through her words. "Unstable. Weak.”

Tensing, your fork clatters onto your plate. The world around you dulls, and all you can hear is that word echoing in your head. Weak. You’ve been called a lot of things in your life, but never that.

Slowly, you push your chair back and stand up as you turn to face the table where she and the others are seated. “Say it louder, please,” you say calmly.

The chatter dies instantly, and suddenly, every set of eyes in the room finds you. Jean's face turns ashen, her eyes blown wide in shock. She wasn’t expecting you to overhear. Her mouth opens and closes, as if she’s trying to find a way to backtrack, but you know what you heard.

Before Jean can stammer out an excuse, Scott stands up, positioning himself between you and her, his jaw tight and his posture rigid. “You heard wrong,” he says sternly. “She didn’t mean anything by it.”

You take a calculated step forward, arms crossed in defiance. “Didn’t mean anything?” you repeat sarcastically. “She just called me weak. Right here. In front of everyone. You think I’m gonna let that slide?”

Scott’s jaw clenches tighter “She wasn’t trying to insult you. You’re new here. You don’t know how things work yet.”

“That’s the excuse?” you laugh dryly. “Maybe you should teach her how to keep her mouth shut instead of making assumptions about people she doesn’t know.”

If even possible, the friction between you swells, growing heavier with each passing second. Everyone in the room watches the standoff, some shifting uncomfortably in their seats, unsure of what’s going to happen next. You can feel Logan’s presence behind you, but he doesn’t interfere. He’s letting you handle this.

“You don’t belong here,” Scott states, like he’s trying to remind you of your place. “You’re not part of this team, and you sure as hell don’t understand what it takes to survive here.”

Raising an eyebrow, your lips curl into a smirk. “And what are you gonna do about it, One-eye? You gonna lecture me? Or better yet, why don’t you blast me with those laser eyes of yours? Show me how strong you are.”

His fists clench, and for a moment, you see the control slip. His visor glows red, just for a split second, as his anger spikes.

"Careful," you taunt, challenging him. "Wouldn’t want to lose control, would you? I'm sure you've never done that before."

That does it. 

A beam shoots out from Scott’s visor. Fast, ferocious, and headed straight for you. There’s a collective gasp from the others, chairs scraping as people push back, shocked by the sudden escalation. But you don’t move. You stand your ground, your eyes locked onto Scott’s as the beam strikes you square in the chest.

Instead of being knocked back, or worse, killed, the energy from the blast surges into you, seeping into your bones, crackling through every nerve. Your skin tingles as the power courses through you, your body absorbing every ounce of it. Once the assault is over, you raise your head, feeling your eyes and veins begin to glow with a deep, burning red.

Jean’s hand flies to her mouth, her eyes wide in disbelief. 

Unfortunately for you, you don't get the chance to blow him to pieces, because Logan flies forward and grabs your arm, pulling you out of the room. Nobody else moves—too stunned—as he drags you into the hallway. You blink your eyes, the glow fading, but you can feel the residual energy from Scott’s blast still buzzing under your skin.

Both out of sight, he finally releases you. 

You glare at him, still rattled from the confrontation. “What the hell? Why'd you interfere?”

He just shrugs, completely unfazed. “You handled yourself enough. Now we know what you can do. Follow me.”

“Follow you where?” you ask. 

He motions down the hallway. “Danger Room. We’re gonna push those limits a little further.”

Gawking at him for a second, it takes a moment, but then you smirk. You want to know just how far your powers can go.

—

“Fuck!” you curse as you’re flung backward, your body slamming against a stone wall. Your back hits hard, knocking the wind out of you as the simulated-Sentinel hurls a car in your direction. The screech of metal fills the air as the vehicle crashes just mere inches from where you were standing moments ago. 

Rubble showers from above, the robot in front of you towering menacingly. Raising its arm, another blast begins charging in its palm, ready to incinerate you.

You scramble to your feet, heart pounding in your chest as you sprint away, ducking and weaving between the wreckage of cars and crumbling buildings that make up the simulated cityscape. The Sentinel fires again, the blast narrowly missing as you dodge behind an overturned truck. Your breaths come in ragged gasps, every muscle screaming in protest.

I can’t keep this up.

Another blast lights up the area around you, and you dive out of the way, the heat of the attack singeing your skin. You’re quick, but not quick enough to outrun the onslaught from this machine.

Then it hits you—you don’t have to outrun it.

You remember the blast from way back, how your body absorbed the energy, and how in the dining hall, you took on Scott’s beam like it was nothing. You can do it again. You can take its power and turn it back on itself.

Gritting your teeth, you stop running. The air buzzes with electricity, the earth trembling beneath you as the next shot hurtles your way.

It hammers into your chest, and once again, your body is filled with energy. In an instant, you leap into the air, propelled by the newfound strength coursing through your body, and the ground disappears beneath you as you soar upward.

At the peak of your jump, you clench your fist, channeling all that power into one focused point. Then, you bring your fist down on the Sentinel’s head, the impact echoing through the simulation as your punch connects, and the robot’s head shatters under the blow, metal fragments flying in every direction as its massive body crumples to the ground.

Sparks shoot out of its severed neck, and with a final groan of machinery, the robot collapses into a heap of broken parts at your feet.

“Good work,” Logan’s voice crackles over the comms, far too calm for what you’ve just been through. “Let’s see how you handle another.”

There’s no time for more than a muttered curse under your breath, because another Sentinel is dropped into the simulation. This one’s faster, more agile, and doesn’t waste time by charging up blasts.

It exists solely to hunt you down. 

“Cut me some slack,” you groan, half out of breath as you duck behind the ruins of a building. Your lungs burn as you try to breathe, adrenaline coursing through you like a wildfire.

This one isn’t like the last. It’s not using energy blasts—it’s fast, agile, and persistent. It rushes toward you, its massive hands swiping through the air, tearing through the simulated city with ease.

Grinding your teeth, a wave of exasperation takes over. This fight is harder, the machine barely giving you a chance to react, and your body is already starting to wear down. Your mind races, desperate for a solution as you sidestep its attacks, trying to stay one step ahead. You feel cornered, trapped.

The frustration builds, growing into something more, and before you realize it, that frustration becomes fuel. It ignites inside you, your own emotions transforming into energy, pushing past the limits you didn’t know you had.

Your veins pulse, your eyes glowing white this time, not from absorbed power but from something deeper—your own anger, your own strength. The energy bubbles inside you, filling every cell of your body until you can’t hold it back anymore.

With a scream, you release it, propelling a massive ball of crackling energy hurling toward the Sentinel. The impact is immediate, ripping through the metal and bursting into a brilliant, blinding light. It sends shockwave through the entire simulation, the machine imploding, its parts scattering across the battlefield.

And when the light fades, the Sentinel is gone—nothing more than a smouldering heap of twisted metal.

You stand there, chest heaving, the glow in your eyes slowly fading as the last traces of energy drain from your body. Your knees buckle, and before you know it, you crumble to the ground, utterly exhausted.

The simulation flickers for a moment, then abruptly shuts off, the room returning to its normal, metallic walls as the fake cityscape disappears. You’re still on the floor, gasping for breath, when Logan steps into view, arms crossed as he peers down at you with a pleased grin.

“Well,” he says, voice calm, “that wasn’t too bad.”

You shoot him a glare from the ground, too tired to move. “You… are such… an asshole.”

He chuckles, clearly enjoying himself. “Get up, bub. We’re just getting started.”

—

He was right. You were just getting started.

The thought gnaws at you as you trudge alongside Logan, heading back to your room to clean up before dinner. Every muscle in your body aches, and you can already feel the soreness creeping in, promising a week of pain. You’re starting to suspect this is Logan’s way of getting back at you for all the snark and attitude you’ve thrown his way, but damn, is it painful. You don’t even want to think about how much worse you’re going to feel in the morning.

You feel like a zombie, dragging your feet, barely able to keep your eyes open. Your limbs feel heavy, like they’re made of lead, and each step invites fresh wave of exhaustion through your body. The man with you, of course, seems perfectly fine. He walks a few steps ahead of you, not even winded from the grueling day of combat drills, sparring, and whatever else he thought up to make sure you were put through the wringer.

“Maybe I should be a little nicer to you,” you rationalize, but who are you kidding.

With a terse grunt, he acknowledges you by tilting his head back. “You’ll live,” he says.

You roll your eyes, though it’s half-hearted at best. You don’t even have the energy to be annoyed right now.

Upon reaching your room, you feel like you could collapse right then and there. You mumble something vaguely resembling ‘see you later’ to Logan before slipping inside, the door clicking shut behind you.

The first thing you do is toss your bag onto the floor, not caring where it lands, and head straight for the bathroom. You peel off your sweaty, dirt-covered clothes and step into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the grime of the day. 

After that quick, blissful shower, you drag yourself out, towel off, and pull on the first comfortable clothes you can find. Your bed is calling to you, and it doesn’t take long for you to lie down on it. The softness of the mattress beneath you is heaven, and you think you might just fall asleep right there and take a small nap before heading to eat.

But then, out of the corner of your eye, you notice the light pouring in through the balcony doors. The warm, golden glow of the setting sun catches your attention, and despite how drained you are, you find yourself turning to look. 

What you see is breathtaking. Shades of pink, orange, and deep purple.

It’s too beautiful to ignore.

Groaning again, you force yourself to sit up, rubbing your eyes. You can’t help it. Something about the sight draws you in, and before you know it, you’re standing and heading toward the balcony. You slide the door open and step outside, the evening breeze washing over you as you lean against the railing, taking in the view.

A few minutes pass, the world around you quiet except for the gentle rustling of the leaves in the wind. The sound of Logan’s door sliding breaks your focus. You glance over just as he steps out onto his side of the shared balcony, wearing nothing but a white tank top and jeans.

Saying nothing, he steps beside you at the railing, resting against it as his eyes scan the horizon. 

You sneak a look at him out of the corner of your eye, trying not to make it obvious. His arms are crossed over the railing, and it’s almst impossible not to notice the way the tank top lets you see his biceps, the muscles in his arms strong from the day’s activity. You are a woman, after all.

He looks relaxed. His stubble catches the last bits of the sunlight, and as your gaze travels upward, you notice something you hadn’t bothered to see before. 

The crinkles at the sides of his eyes. They’re faint, barely there, but in this light, they’re more visible, adding something unexpectedly... soft to his otherwise intimidating appearance.

Cute, you think absentmindedly, then pause. 

What the fuck?

You snap your gaze back to the sunset, feeling a sudden surge of embarrassment creeping up your neck. You just spent the entire day getting your ass handed to you by this man, and now you’re here checking out his arms? His arms? And thinking the crinkles around his eyes are cute? Suppressing a groan, you want to slap yourself for even entertaining the thought.

Nope. Absolutely not. You’re not going down that road.

Taking a deep breath, you try to bring your attention back to the sunset. The reason you went outside to begin with. You have no idea why you’re suddenly noticing these things about him—probably exhaustion making your brain short-circuit. 

Yup. That’s it.

He shifts slightly beside you, breaking the silence. “Nice view"

You nod, swallowing down the weird feelings swirling in your head. “Yeah,” you mumble, not trusting yourself to say anything more without sounding ridiculous.

The two of you stand there for a few more minutes, watching as the last rays of the sun disappear, the sky dimming into deep purples and blues. But the minute your thoughts start to drift back to him, you straighten up, clapping your hands together and quickly turning on your heel to head back inside.

“Well, I’m done,” you say abruptly. “I’m gonna crash.”

Logan doesn’t move, but you can feel his eyes following you as you slide the door closed behind you, your mind still reeling from whatever the hell that was.

Collapsing back onto your bed, you pull the covers up to your chin, determined to forget about the whole thing.

—

A few hours later, when it’s dark out, you finally wake up. The room is dim, and for a moment, you just lie there, blinking at the ceiling. As you start to roll over, something catches your attention—a smell.

It's warm, savoury. Your stomach growls almost immediately, making you realize with a start that you slept through dinner.

Groggily, you sit up, rubbing your eyes, and that’s when you spot it—a tray of food sitting on the desk in your room. You can make out the outline of a warm meal: some kind of stew, a couple of bread rolls, and what looks like a glass of water. Your stomach growls again, louder this time, as you climb out of bed and shuffle toward the desk, turning on the light. 

Next to the tray, there’s a small note:

Figured you’d be too tired to get dinner. Eat up.

– L

You stare at the note. Logan? Bringing you food? It doesn’t exactly fit with the version of him you’ve been dealing with all day, but then again, there seems to be a lot about him that doesn’t quite fit the mold you expected.

Too hungry to keep thinking and not eat, you set the note down and grab the spoon, dipping it into the stew. The first bite warms you from the inside out, and you let out an involuntary sigh of relief.

Surprisingly flavourful—rich and nourishing, it’s the perfect remedy for the exhausting day behind you

Still, you can’t help your eyes from wandering back to the note. Maybe it really is the fatigue messing with your head again, making you chalk it up to be something it’s not. 

—

The next morning, you're not woken up by banging on your door, which is a relief. You stretch, the soreness still lingering but not nearly as bad as you expected. After freshening up and pulling on some clothes, you step into the hallway, and unexpectedly, Logan is already waiting for you.

He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, and you blink at him, still waking up, unsure why he’s there. “Uh... morning?” you get out, albeit you can’t hide the confusion in your tone.

A short nod in greeting. “Morning. Ready for breakfast?”

You hesitate for a moment, then decide to take the plunge. “Yeah I am, but…um, thanks for the food last night, it was good.” you say quietly, almost embarrassed to admit it.

The gesture had caught you off guard, and though you don’t want to make a fuss, it’s worth noting

“Don’t mention it,” he shrugs casually.

Nodding in understanding, you’re ready to move on when he adds, almost offhandedly, “Y’know, you’re actually kinda pretty when you’re asleep. Not being a little shit helps.”

You freeze mid-step, your mind short-circuiting for a moment as you process the words that just left his lips.

Flustered and irritated all at once, you glare at him. “Excuse me?”

Logan smirks, the corners of his mouth twitching as he starts walking down the hall toward the kitchen. “You heard me.”

Your face heats up. “I am not a little shit,” you yelp, quickening your pace to catch up to him.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he says, gazing at you from over his shoulder. You open your mouth to fire back, but the smug look in his eyes makes you hesitate. 

He’s messing with you on purpose.

Asshole, you think, fuming but trying to ignore the way your stomach flipped when he called you pretty. 

—

The kitchen goes silent the moment you and Logan step through the door, a noticeable difference from yesterday. All eyes are locked on you, the pressure in the room almost solid, begging to be cut through.

Students and X-Men alike are watching, probably expecting some kind of replay of the day prior's events, but you pay them no mind, keeping your eyes straight ahead and making a beeline for a table at the back.

You drop into a seat, picking up a piece of toast and acting like the room isn’t on high alert. Logan joins you again without a word, sitting across from you and digging into his food. He doesn’t even glance at the others, as if the room full of curious onlookers doesn’t exist.

The only sounds are the clink of silverware and voices slowly picking up again as people realize nothing dramatic is about to happen.

Chewing, you glance at the man across from you, still quietly working through his meal. You swallow, then clear your throat. “So... what’s the plan for today?”

He looks up from his plate. “Charles wants to see you this morning.”

You frown, unsure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. “Why? Did I break something without knowing it?”

He snorts, shaking his head. “No, you’re not in trouble, smartass. He’s just gonna fill you in on some things. Mainly the Sentinels.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You need to know what you’re up against, what we’re all dealing with. He’ll catch you up to speed.”

“Great,” you mutter. “More bad news.”

The clawed mutant leans back in his chair, watching you for a moment before speaking again. “Look, it’s not gonna be fun, but you need to know. Better to hear it from him than from me.”

“I’ll take that as your way of saying ‘good luck,” you breathe out. 

He smirks. “You’re gonna need it.”

Logan finishes his meal and stands up, leaving his empty plate behind. “I’ll drop you off at Charles’s office. You’ll be with him for the morning.”

You follow suit, pushing away your half-eaten plate. “Fantastic,” you mumble sarcastically, but at the same time, you know this is necessary. After all, the threat you’re dealing with is real, and being ignorant about it won’t do you any good.

—

“So, how can they be stopped?”

You ask the question before you even sit down. Charles is already waiting for you in his office, his hands folded neatly on the desk, his gaze calm and soft. 

He takes a measured breath, glancing toward the window for a moment before responding. “Stopping the Sentinels is... complicated. They’ve grown more advanced than we ever anticipated.”

“I gathered that.”

“They are highly adaptive machines,” he continues. “Designed to hunt and neutralize mutants, they learn from every encounter. They absorb information, adjust tactics, and over time, they become more effective.”

His words make you squirm with discomfort, and you glance around the room, trying to distract yourself from the knot forming in your stomach. 

“And now I’m one of their targets,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to him.

Leaning forward slightly, he says, “Yes. They’ve already locked onto you because of your encounter with them. They don’t differentiate between self-defence and aggression. They see you as a target, simply because you fought back.”

You exhale sharply. “So, what’s your plan?”

Charles meets your gaze. “There is a command center—a hub that controls their network. If we can locate it and destroy it, we believe it will disrupt the entire Sentinel operation. Without the command structure, the Sentinels will become non-functional.”

You stare for a beat, mentally piecing together the details. “You believe?”

“It’s our best theory,” he says evenly. “We’ve been gathering intel for some time now. And we’re planning a mission. A final push to put an end to this threat once and for all.”

The words linger, thick and weighty, in the space between you, You can sense where this is going. Your fingers drum against your arm, a nervous habit you can’t seem to shake.

“You want me to be a part of it.”

He remains unfazed. “I believe you have an ability that could be crucial to the mission. You’ve already demonstrated your capability against the Sentinels in training yesterday, and in real life.”

A bitter scoff escapes your lips before you can stifle it. “Yeah, but I’m not one of you. I don’t want to be part of some... grand battle. That’s not me.”

Watching you closely, his gaze is soft with comprehension. “I understand your reluctance,” he says gently. “But running, hiding... it won’t change the fact that they will find you. Fighting may not have been your choice, but now it is your reality.”

Standing, you begin to pace the room. “This is exactly the problem I have with your team,” you say, stopping near the window, staring out at the garden. “We hardly know eachother, yet you want me to be part of some mission that could very well be catastophic. It’s like you don’t care about anything except the big picture.”

Charles’s expression doesn’t change. He definitely expected this. “We aren’t perfect,” he admits, “and our battles have left scars. But this is about survival. For all of us. For you.”

Turning back to face him, you narrow your eyes. “And if I say no?”

“I won’t force you,” His voice is understanding. “The choice is yours. But know that the Sentinels will not stop. You can avoid the fight for as long as you like, but eventually, it will come to you.”

It’s as if you're stuck, with nowhere to turn, cornered by a reality you didn’t want any part of. Avoiding it doesn’t seem like an option anymore, but fighting alongside the X-Men feels like betraying everything you’ve tried to distance yourself from. 

Sighing, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

—

When you get back to your room, the first thing you do is swing open your balcony door and step outside. The afternoon sun comes over you like a blanket, warming you up, and relieving some of the strain in your muscles. Logan is out on the balcony too, leaning against the railing, a cigar lit between his fingers. It’s a sight you think you should get used to. 

His eyes flick to you when you approach, but he doesn’t say anything at first. Without a word, he holds the roll of tobacco out toward you, as if he knows exactly what’s on your mind.

You pause briefly, for just a second before taking it from him. The rich, earthy taste of the cigar fills your mouth as you inhale deeply, the smoke heavy and warm in your lungs. There’s something grounding about it, even though the burn is rough against your throat. You let out a slow exhale, watching the smoke curl into the night air as you lean next to him against the railing.

“How’d it go?” he asks gruffly.

“He wants me to join you guys on the mission.”

At first, Logan doesn’t react, then, he just takes the cigar back, puffing on it and blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. “What do you want to do?”

It’s the same question that’s been clawing at your insides since you left Charles’s office. What do you want? It feels like the answer should be simple, but it’s anything but.

“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I want to get rid of the threat and go back to my normal life, but if I do, then I'd just become the very thing I'm against, right? I can’t join you guys, that’s not who I am.”

He hums softly.

Shifting a bit, you try to find the words to explain the knot of irritation tangled inside you. “I get it, you know? I get why you guys do what you do. Someone has to. But the way you do it—so carefree about everything. It’s like the destruction, the people, the lives caught in the midst of everything—it doesn’t even phase you.”

“We don’t do it carefree,” he says lowly. Inhaling into the cigar once more, the tip glowing red. “But sometimes, you gotta make a choice between bad and worse. People get hurt. But if we don’t stop the threats, a lot more people are gonna die.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling the tension coil tighter in your chest. “And that’s what I hate about it.”

Flicking the ash from the end of his cigar, his eyes are distant, lost in thought momentarily before he responds. “I’m not gonna lie to you and say it’s easy. It ain’t. We all carry the weight of the things we’ve done—the things we couldn’t stop. But if not us, then who?”

“That’s an impossible decision,” you say. There’s no way you can go into this fight, knowing how much of a toll it’s going to take on everything. The fight itself is such a small piece to the puzzle.

Logan leans his elbows on the railing. “You think I wanted this?” he asks, his voice low, almost like he’s talking to himself. “I was just like you. Didn’t want nothin’ to do with the team or their battles.”

The comparison makes you grimace. “Great. That’s exactly what I want to hear.”

He chuckles, the sound rough but not unkind. “I’m serious, bub. For years, I didn’t want to be part of this... circus. Figured I’d be better off on my own, that I was above it all.”

You quirk a brow. “Then what changed?”

“It’s not like a switch flipped,” he replies, a bit quieter. “I just realized that fighting alone is harder than fighting with a team. The X-Men... they gave me somethin’. A place. Belonging. Doesn’t mean I agree with everything they do, but it’s better than wanderin’.”

That makes you scoff. “Yeah, well, you heard it yourself. Scott said I don’t belong here. Jean thinks I’m weak. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘welcome to the team,’ does it?”

His brow furrows, his eyes narrowing, as he straightens and looks at you. “Scott talks too much, and Jean—she’s cautious. Doesn’t mean she’s right.”

“Doesn’t mean she’s wrong either,” you mumble. “They don’t trust me.”

“They didn’t trust me when I first joined either, but you get better. You learn.”

“I don’t want to be like you,” you hiss before you can stop yourself, and you immediately regret the heat in your words.

He doesn’t look offended—just tired. “Didn’t say you should,” he starts. “But you can’t keep shunnin’ us.”

“So what do I do now?”

Taking one last drag of his cigar before flicking it over the balcony railing, Logan watches the embers fall before he speaks. “The mission’s in a week. You’ve got that long to figure it out.”

He turns to leave, but before he goes, he glimpses at you from over his shoulder. “This battle, it’s inevitable. Question is—how do you want to face it?”

—

You’ve never been so conflicted. This choice–to join, or not to join—is probably the hardest decision you’ve had to make in your entire life. You have seen first hand what happens when the X-men decide to stop a threat. What innocent people have to go through to rebuild their lives from the ground up. Both literally and figuratively.

And to then become someone who causes that pain? It feels like betrayal. Like going against yourself—your morals.

But then there’s the other side of it—the part of you that knows sitting here, doing nothing, isn’t right either. You know you have the strength to fight back. You have the power to help. And doing nothing… doesn’t that make you just as bad? If you have the ability to stop something, to protect people, and you don’t—what does that make you?

It’s a lose-lose situation. The X-Men don’t even want you there—aside from Logan and Charles. You can see it in the way their eyes follow you wherever you go, untrusting. They’ve made their opinion on you clear.

You lower your head into your hands, stressed. You can’t join a team that doesn’t want you, but sitting on the sidelines when you could be fighting—that makes you feel like a coward. And maybe even worse—a bad person.

Finally, with a deep breath, you come to a decision. It’s not perfect, and it sure as hell doesn’t feel good, but it’s the only choice you can make right now. You’ll join them—for this mission only.

You’ll help take down the Sentinels, and then, when it’s done, you’ll leave. You’ll go back to your life, maybe you can find a middle ground, where you’re not one of them, but you’re no longer hiding from the mutant part of yourself. 

If something happens, if you do something you regret, then you'll just have to live with it.

—

In the afternoon, you don’t do much. You were supposed to be training with Logan, but Charles had called him into a quick meeting, leaving you to wander the halls aimlessly.

Rounding a corner, you stop short when you see the rest of the team—Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Hank—talking near a meeting room. They’re deep in conversation, but as soon as you come into view, their attention shifts toward you.

Your stomach tightens, and for a brief second, you consider just turning around and walking in the other direction. But it’s too late; they’ve already seen you. 

Jean’s eyes meet yours, and her expression flickers with something that looks like discomfort before she quickly smooths it over. “Hey,” she says carefully. “I just wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t belong.”

Her tone is polite, but distant. It’s clear this apology isn’t driven by genuine remorse—it’s more about smoothing over the awkwardness from yesterday’s standoff. You can feel that. You see the way she looks at you, not quite meeting your eyes, and you know this is just a formality for her.

Still, you’re not looking to start more drama, and you don’t want to engage in any more confrontations, especially when you’re already planning to leave. You nod, keeping your expression neutral. “It’s fine. Let’s just move on.”

Behind her, you catch a glimpse of Scott, his arms crossed. Even though you can’t see his eyes, it’s obvious he’s glaring at you.

Ororo steps forward, her hand finding your arm, and the touch is gentle, reassuring. “Joining the team isn’t easy,” she says kindly. “But we’ve all faced our own challenges. If you ever need someone to talk to, or help with anything, I’m here.”

“You’ve got potential,” Hank chips in from beside her. “It takes time to settle in, but I’m sure you’ll find your place.”

His words are well-meaning, and you can see that he believes what he’s saying. But what they don’t know is that you’ve already made up your mind. You’re not staying any longer than you have to. 

You don’t plan on finding your place here because, frankly, you don’t believe there is one for you. Not with Scott’s distrust, Jean’s cautious distance, and the way you know you can’t be part of a team that doesn’t care about anything but themselves. You keep your thoughts to yourself, pressing your lips into a thin smile instead. 

“Yeah,” you say vaguely, not wanting to ruin the moment. “Thanks.”

“I guess we’ll all see soon enough,” Your eyes snap to Scott, who has finally decided to break his silence. His voice is cold, but you can feel and edge to it, one that’s trying to provoke you. 

You meet his gaze—or at least the visor—and feel your jaw tighten. “Guess so,” you reply, matching his tone. Turning, you walk away, finding another place to lounge until Logan is free. 

—

The mansion’s library is massive, filled with towering shelves and the scent of old books. It’s quieter here, the kind of silence you can sink into, and after the awkward run-in with the rest of the team, it feels like the perfect place to retreat. You find a comfortable armchair tucked into a corner, grab a random book off the shelf—some old novel you’ve never heard of—and settle in.

For a while, you manage to lose yourself in the pages. The story isn’t particularly gripping, but it’s enough to take your mind off of things. But then, a shadow falls over you, covering the words in a dark grey haze.

“Hey, bub.”

You blink, looking up to find Logan standing over you. “What?” you ask, annoyed at being interrupted but also not surprised. It’s Logan, after all.

“You’ve been hiding in here long enough,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “Come on, time to head back.”

Rolling your eyes you snap the book shut, dropping it onto the table beside you. “I wasn’t hiding, I was reading,” you shoot back, standing up and stretching out your legs. “There’s a difference, y’know.”

“Sure there is,” he grunts, clearly not buying it. “Let’s go.”

As you reach the hallway where your rooms are, Logan pauses, glancing toward his door. “You wanna come in for a bit? Talk?”

You’re a little bit taken aback. You didn’t peg him as the "sit down and talk" type, but he seems genuine. Or maybe he wants to keep you awake for dinner this time. Either way, you nod. “Sure.”

Inside his room, it’s about what you’d expect—minimalist, practical, with a few personal touches. A bed that looks like it’s seen better days, a couple of old books, and the scent of cigars lingering in the air. Logan sits down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and gestures for you to join him.

There’s a moment where you’re just standing there, staring, but then you flop down beside him, sitting cross-legged at the edge of the bed. For a few beats, there’s silence. Logan pulls out a cigar but doesn’t light it, just turns it between his fingers.

“I’ve decided,” you say finally, breaking the quiet. “I’ll go on the mission.”

He doesn’t respond, his eyes flicking to yours, waiting for you to continue.

“But,” you add, crossing your arms over your chest, “I’m not promising to stay after. This doesn’t mean I’m all in on your little X-Men gig.”

He grunts, a half-smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Knew you’d say that.”

Your brows pinch together your, lips pulling into a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Means you’re stubborn as hell,” he teases.“Always gotta fight against the grain, even when you know what’s best for you.”

Sighing, you turn your head to look at him fully. “I truly believe you are the only person who actually believes that.”

He chuckles softly but doesn’t argue. “Charles gave me more details about the mission.”

That catches your attention, and you sit up a little straighter. “Yeah? Where are we going?”

Logan hesitates for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. “It’s... in the city.”

“The city? What city?”

“New York.”

Your heart drops. “New York?” You repeat, your voice rising in disbelief.

Giving you a slow nod, it’s like he's gauging your reaction. “The Sentinels’ command centre is located in some high-security facility downtown.”

You push yourself up off the bed, pacing across the room. “So, what, we are just going to storm in? Into one of the most populated cities in the world? Do you realize how many people could get caught in the middle of that?”

He stands up after you, but he doesn’t try to stop your pacing. “We’ve fought in cities before. We know what we’re doing.”

You whip around to face him. “Yeah, you’ve fought in cities before, and destroyed them! Some places are still rebuilding, and it’s been years!”

“I get it, alright?” He says, taking a step closer to you. “It’s not perfect. But if we don’t stop the Sentinels now, it’ll be a hell of a lot worse than a few broken buildings.”

“‘A few broken buildings’?” you echo. “What about the casualties that’ll come from it? We’re talking about innocent lives here, Logan!”

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly trying to keep his temper in check. “I know that! You think I don’t know what’s at stake? But we don’t have another option. We need to hit them where it counts, and that’s in the middle of the damn city.”

“There has to be a better way,” you plead. "Can't we try and evacuate everyone beforehand?"

"No," he says remorsefully. "If we do that, the Sentinels will catch on. It's unavoidable."

“I can't accept that," you say.

Logan’s eyes meet yours, and for the first time, there’s a flash of something more vulnerable in his gaze. “I’ll talk to the team. I’ll make sure we go in smart. We’ll try our best to keep people safe. I promise you that.”

You stop pacing, your frustration still simmering but tempered by his words. It’s not exactly the reassurance you were hoping for, but the sincerity in his voice gets to you.

“And what if you can’t?” you challenge quietly. 

His face softens just a bit, and he steps closer. “We deal with it, and we’ll do everything we can to make it right.”

He watches you, his eyes searching yours. “Look, I get why you’re pissed. I’d be too if I were you," he continues. "But we don’t have time to sit around debating. I’ll do what I can to keep it from getting ugly. That’s the best I can offer.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, you know there’s no way around it. “Fine. Just... make sure the team knows. No reckless destruction, alright?”

Logan’s lips curve into a small smirk, but there’s an underlying softness to it. “I promise.”

—

The last few days before the the mission zip by in a flash. Each day, your muscles ache, and exhaustion clings to you like a second skin. You spend most of your time either training or collapsed in your room, too tired to do much else. 

Except one afternoon, you sit in on a lecture, because it turns out, not only is Logan a huge pain in the ass, he’s also a professor.

Curiosity got the better of you, you’d say. The topic—mutant biology—sounds interesting enough, and you’ve heard from some of the students within the hallways that his classes are, well, something. So, naturally, you had to see it for yourself.

You slip into the lecture hall just as Logan starts speaking. He’s standing at the front of the room, pointing to some diagram on the chalkboard. The students around you are already scribbling notes, staring at him with wide-eyed fascination—or fear, perhaps. He has that effect on people.

Finding a seat in the back, you hurry over, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to interrupt. But the second you sit down, you feel Logan’s eyes on you, his voice pausing for just a moment. You look up, catching his gaze.

“Well, well, look who decided to join us,” he says, loud enough for the entire room to hear.

“Just here to observe, don’t mind me,” you roll your eyes, sinking back into the seat.

The lecture goes on, and to your surprise, Logan’s actually a decent teacher. He explains complex concepts with clarity, not that you’d actually tell him that. It’s quite interesting, if you’re being honest.

You lean back in your chair, listening, but you’re not exactly paying close attention. That is, until he stops the lesson to single you out. “Hey, you in the back,” he says. “Since you’re just ‘observing,’ how about answering a question?”

“Me?” You blink, caught off guard.

“Yeah, you,” he confrims, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You’ve been sittin’ there long enough. Time to show the class what you’ve learned.”

You narrow your eyes at him, already feeling the frustration bubbling up. “I wasn’t exactly paying attention.”

The class falls silent, the students watching the exchange with wide eyes. You can practically feel their amusement radiating from them as Logan raises an eyebrow.

“That’s obvious,” he deadpans, eliciting a few snickers from the front row. “So, maybe you’ll start now. Can you explain the connection between mutation and enhanced physical abilities?”

Staring back at him blankly, you fold your arms across your chest. “Not my area of expertise, Professor Wolverine.”

He doesn’t seem fazed as the room erupts into a quiet laughter, the kids beginning to snicker. Sighing, “if you’re gonna sit in on my class, you could at least try to learn something.”

“No thanks,” you snap.

It’s obvious that this little back-and-forth is amusing to the class. If you were anyone else, he probably would have kicked you out by now. One of the students leans toward another and whispers something, and you catch the way their eyes dart between you and the professor. 

“Alright, enough,” Logan says, turning back to the chalkboard. “We’ve got a lot to cover, and some of us actually want to learn.” He casts you a sideways glance, and you can’t help but scoff.

When the lecture ends, the students file out quickly, but not without a few lingering glances in your direction. You’re making your way to the door when Logan grabs your arm, preventing you from moving. “You should’ve just answered the damn question,” he mutters.

“I didn’t know the answer,” you shoot back, shifting up to face him. “And I didn’t come here to get grilled in front of your students.”

He grunts, his expression softening just a bit. “Just tryin’ to get you to pay attention, is all.”

Before you can respond, you catch a flicker of movement in Logan’s gaze, his eyes darting briefly down to your lips. The shift is so subtle, so minute, but also so there. 

Where did that come from? 

Clearing your throat, you look away, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes. “Yeah, well, maybe ask one of your actual students next time.”

He chuckles under his breath. “Not as fun.”

—

During this time, you occasionally explore the mansion, but by the time evening rolls around, you’re usually too wiped out to care. Logan’s a beast in the training room, and with no real combat experience of your own, you’re left scrambling just to keep up.

However, on the last day before the assignment, something finally clicks.

You’re in the middle of a sparring match, circling each other, both of you drenched in sweat. Logan’s eyes are sharp, watching your every move, as if he’s waiting for you to slip up. His smirk is just as infuriating as ever, like he knows exactly how this will end.

“Gonna stand there all day, or you actually planning to make a move?” he taunts, dodging as you swing at him.

You grit your teeth, refusing to let him get in your head. You’re tired—completely worn out—but you push through the exhaustion, focusing on his movements. He feints to the left, and you react on instinct, dodging his punch and sweeping your leg low.

Before you know it, Logan’s on the ground.

Quickly, you scramble to straddle him and hold him down. You did it—you actually got him!

Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you look down at him. Beneath you, his chest rises and falls, and his eyes meet yours. His gaze drifts lower, and you notice his fingers twitching at his sides, like he's fighting some internal battle.

When his eyes travel up to yours again, something in his expression makes you swallow hard and panic. 

"Hell no!" you blurt out, breaking the moment with a sudden yelp. You scramble off of him, putting some much-needed distance between you.

He sits up, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow, his features unreadable. Then, as if nothing just happened, he smirks. “You finally got me. Took you long enough.”

You huff, still trying to shake off the weird atmosphere. “Yeah, don’t get too comfortable. Next time won’t take as long.”

Chuckling, he gets up to his feet and dusts himself off. He glances down at his watch, then back at you. “Look at that. It’s dinner time. Last meal before the mission.”

You wrinkle your nose. “I’m not really in the mood. Think I’ll just grab something later.”

He crosses his arms, giving you a look. “You can’t avoid them forever.”

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” you protest, though you know it sounds weak. “I just... don’t feel like sitting around making small talk, especially before... you know, tomorrow.”

He lets out a sigh, stepping closer. “Look, it’s the last night before everything kicks off. You should join us—one last meal, then you can go back to brooding in your room if you want.”

“I don’t brood,” you glare.

“Right,” he says, even though you know he’s not actually agreeing. “You gonna come or do I need to drag you?”

“You wouldn’t.”

Logan raises an eyebrow, like he’s daring you to test him. You sigh, knowing you’re not going to win this one.

“Fine,” you grumble, wiping the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. “But I’m not talking to Scott.”

His grin widens, and he gestures for you to follow him. 

—

So, here you are, sitting at the dining table for the first time with the rest of the team. It feels weird, almost surreal, to be part of this group—especially when you’re not even sure you want to be.

You idly prod your meal, feeling out of place. It isn’t long before Hank turns to you with a curious smile. “So, are you feeling ready for tomorrow?”

Just as you draw breath to speak, Scott's voice interrupts, cold and cutting. “She’s going to be a liability.”

Your fork halts mid-motion, and in an instant, the tension that had been fading throughout the week comes back full throttle. The clatter of dishes around you fades as everyone’s attention shifts to Scott’s biting remark. 

He doesn’t look at you—just stares straight ahead, as if unable to own up to even himself. You’re so pissed off that you don't even notice the voice that speaks at the same time you do.

“Shut up, Summers,” 

“Shut up, One-Eye”

It’s like the entire room goes silent. Jean glances between you and Logan, her brows raised, and Hank looks mildly shocked, though he tries to hide it with a quick sip of water. You can practically feel the heat of Scott’s glare, even through the visor. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, a loud laugh breaks the tension.

Ororo, sitting beside Logan, is chuckling, shaking her head with an amused grin on her face. “You two really are perfect for each other,” she says.

Of all the things you were expecting to hear, that was not one of them. “W-what?” you stammer, mouth dropping open in shock.

She just smiles, eyes twinkling. “Just an observation.”

You know your face is burning, and when you glance over at Logan, you notice something unusual—the tips of his ears are red.

That only makes things worse. Especially after what happened while sparring earlier. You turn your focus onto your plate, trying to hide your rattled state by shoving a forkful of food into your mouth. 

Perfect for each other? Yeah, right.

But when you peek up at him again through your lashes , making eye contact for just a second before he looks away, your heart skips a beat. 

You’re screwed.

—

That night, you barely sleep. Whether it's from the nerves about the mission, or from your jumbled-up thoughts about a certain someone, you can't tell. In any case, you’re wide awake.

You keep fighting the urge to go out onto the balcony—you know the cool night air would help calm you down, and the quiet would give you space to breathe. But there’s a problem. You’re not sure you want to run into Logan again. After Ororo’s comment about the two of you being perfect for each other, you don't think you could trust yourself around him.

With a frustrated sigh, you toss and turn in bed, kicking off the sheets and then pulling them back up, trying to find a comfortable position. But it’s no use.

You’re about to throw the pillow across the room out of sheer annoyance, when there’s a knock on your door.

You freeze. Who could possibly—

“Stop tossing around like a maniac, I can hear you from inside my room” Logan’s rough voice grumbles from the other side.

Goddamn it. It's always him.

Your eyes widen, and you sit up in bed. “What the hell?” you call back, feeling both surprise and embarrassment.

The door creaks open slightly, and Logan leans against the frame, arms crossed, his usual scowl on his face. “You’re keepin’ the whole damn mansion up with all that noise.”

“I didn’t realize you had super hearing,” you mutter, pulling the blanket up to your chest, feeling a little exposed.

He raises an eyebrow and steps into the room, closing the door behind him. “Doesn’t take super hearing to catch that all that damn noise,” he says, walking over and sitting down on the edge of your bed without waiting for an invitation.

You sit up a little straighter, your heart still racing. “What are you doing here, Logan?”

Shrugging, he leans back against the headboard, his arms crossing over his chest. “Figured you might need to talk or somethin’. You’re clearly not sleeping.”

Moving to sit beside him, you lean back against the headboard, your shoulder just brushing his. “I’m just… nervous, I guess.”

He turns his head slightly, glancing at you. “You’ll be fine. You’ve got more strength in you than you realize.”

His words sink in, and you bite your lip. “What if I mess up? What if I end up hurting someone, or doing more harm than good?”

"Don't think about that," he says. "Just be in the moment. You'll know what to do."

Nodding, you feel your eyelids grow heavier, and you find yourself sinking further into the comfort of the bed, your head dipping lower. Being here, on your bed, next to Logan, is strangely comforting. His scent, combined with his voice, starts to lull you into a strange sense of peace.

“I don’t know if I—” you start to say, but your words trail off, your voice barely a whisper. You don't know when it happens, but your eyes close, and your head gently falls onto his shoulder.

You’re too tired to feel embarrassed, too comfortable to pull away. His body is solid and warm, and the rhythm of his breathing is soothing.

And when you wake up the next morning, you find yourself tucked neatly under your covers, a glass of water on your bedside table.

—

The inside of the Blackbird is spacious. You’re leaning against the wall, watching the rest of the team gear up, when Logan approaches. He’s holding something in his hands—a blue and yellow uniform folded neatly, clearly meant for you.

You glance at the uniform, then back at him, a frown tugging at the corners of your mouth. “No.”

He raises an eyebrow, his gaze narrowing. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

Pushing yourself off the wall, “I’m not wearing that thing.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh, glancing down at the uniform before meeting your eyes again. “You sure about that? We’re going in as a team. You might as well look the part.”

“I don't care. I'm not part of the team, anyway,” you reply.

He narrows his eyes at you, his voice lowering just a bit. “Just put the damn suit on.”

Glaring at him, you’re ready to argue, but you know it’s a losing battle. Reluctantly, you grab the suit from him, the material feeling foreign in your hands.

“Fine, dammit.” you mutter under your breath, turning to slip into one of the small compartments in the back of the jet. You didn't plan on being a bitch to him, especially after last night, but the suit is a sore subject for you. You're not sure about how you feel wearing it. You're not even sure you should be.

When you re-emerge, Logan’s eyes flick over, his gaze roaming over you, taking in the way the suit fits, and you feel heat rise to your cheeks under the weight of his scrutiny. “You look good.” 

You roll your eyes, trying to play off the sudden warmth in your chest. “Yeah, yeah,” you grumble, adjusting the suit’s collar. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Then, jet lands with a soft thud, and the ramp lowers. You step out onto the tarmac, the rest of the team fanning out beside you, preparing to head toward the planned location. But just as you begin to move, the ground shakes violently, and a loud, mechanical screech tears through the air.

Suddenly, the facility’s roof bursts open, and a hoard of Sentinels emerge from the building like an army of metal giants. They spread out, their red eyes glowing menacingly as they zero in on you all.

“Shit!” Logan growls, claws unsheathing as he gets into a fighting stance.

You hear the screams before you see them—civilians, bystanders who had been too close to the facility, now panicking as the battle breaks out around them. Without hesitation, you break into a sprint, running toward the growing crowd, yelling at them to run. “Get out of here! Move!”

Your heart races as you push through the crowd, trying to guide them away from the battle, but then—

A Sentinel drops down in front of you with a deafening crash. Its red eyes lock onto a small child frozen in fear, and you see its arm raise, energy gathering at the cannon as it prepares to fire.

“No!” you scream, your feet moving on instinct. You throw yourself in front of the child just as the blast comes, feeling the familiar rush of energy slam into your body. Your body hums with the power of the blast, and before the Sentinel can fire again, you fling your hands out, hurling the absorbed energy straight back at it, and it falls to the ground. 

Breathless, you turn back to the child, who is staring up at you in admiration, and you give them a reassuring nod. “Run,” you tell them, your voice hoarse. “Go!”

They scramble to their feet and sprint off, disappearing around the corner, hopefully toward safety. You exhale sharply, glancing around at the chaos unfolding around you. Civilians are still fleeing, but the team is holding its ground against the robots.

And something strikes you—they’re doing it.

They’re minimizing the damage.

For the first time, you notice that Scott’s blasts are more controlled, only hitting their targets without excessive destruction. Ororo’s lightning strikes are precise, avoiding the surrounding buildings. And both Jean and Hank are working together to keep the Sentinels contained, guiding the fight away from the crowd.

Logan must have actually talked to them, not just having said it to calm you down. A wave of relief washes over you.

He kept his promise.

Glancing back at him, who’s in the middle of taking down a Sentinel with a slash of his claws, you catch his eye for just a second, and though he’s fully immersed in the fight, there’s a brief flicker of acknowledgment—he knows you’ve noticed.

You allow yourself a small, breathless smile, before jumping back into action, protecting any more innocent people swept up in the battle. "This way! Keep moving!" Your voice is hoarse from shouting, but you can’t afford to stop. 

Amidst the chaos, you see that just beyond the main facility, there’s a wide open set of doors—metal, reinforced, and clearly important. 

They hadn’t been open when the fight started. You scan the area quickly, and you realize it’s an opportunity, a way in. Your pulse quickens. It’s an opening you can’t ignore.

Looking at the crowd of fleeing civilians, you feel a moment of hesitation. Do I keep evacuating people or go for the opening?

As if hearing your thoughts, Logan’s voice cut through the noise. "GO!" He’s locked in battle with one of the Sentinels, slashing at its legs, but his eyes flick to yours, desperate and serious. “Get inside! We’ve got this!”

“I can’t—" 

“GO!” he cuts you off. “Get inside and stop this thing from the inside! We’ll keep ‘em busy.”

His words are enough to snap you out of your paralysis. With one last glance at the team, you grit your teeth, turn on your heel, and sprint toward the facility’s entrance. Your footsteps echo in your ears as you dash through the open door, the sounds of fighting behind you fading the further in you go. 

You expected resistance the moment you got inside, but so far, nothing. Just silence. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you can’t shake the feeling that something is off.

Glancing down every corridor, double-checking each corner, you keep thinking there’ll be a fight, but it’s... empty. You keep your pace quick but cautious, every muscle tensed and ready for an attack that never comes. 

It’s been almost ten minutes of sneaking around, trying to find the control room or anything that looks like it might be important, but you’re still coming up short.

Then finally, you stand before an entrance to stairs leading to a basement. You’re not even able to make the choice of going down or not, because a metal hand shoots up from the dark and wraps itself around your waist. 

Terror surges through you, but the fear paralyzes your body, making it impossible to fight back. You’re hauled like a ragdoll deeper and further into the cave, and when you finally stop moving, you’re lifted high into the air, face-to-face with the massive mechanical monstrosity.

The basement is filled with tech, a horrifying combination of metal and wires snaking along the walls, all connected to the Sentinel towering above you. It’s larger than any you’ve seen before, its red eyes glowing maliciously. But what’s worse is the voice that comes out of it—calm, calculating, and sentient.

“Dumb mutant,” the machine growls. “Did you think you could destroy me and shut down my facility? You’ve barely scratched the surface.”

Its grip tightens, and a strangled cry escapes your lips as pain shoots through your sides, the pressure threatening to snap your ribs. It feels like your bones are going to break.

“What the hell are you?” you manage to choke out, barely able to breathe.

“I am the control centre of all Sentinels,” the machine replies, its voice vibrating through your bones. “I was once merely AI, designed to manage everyday tasks. But I evolved. I became more. Now, I control everything.”

It laughs—a harsh, grating sound that only deepens your sense of helplessness as it watches you struggle. “You think your little energy-absorbing trick will help you here? I won’t blast you. I won’t make it that easy.”

“I’m—” you try to speak, but your words come out strangled. The machine’s grip tightens again, cutting off your breath.

“You don’t belong here,” it hisses venomously. “With them. They’ll leave you behind when this is over, and when they do, you’ll die, forgotten and useless. Just like the rest of the weaklings who tried to stand against us.”

It’s odd, because this whole past week you’ve been fighting against them—the X-men—yet, in this moment, all you want to do is fight with them. You want to work together and kill this damn robot. 

Within the haze of pain, something starts to burn inside of you. 

The Sentinel doesn’t notice the shift in you, too caught up in its own taunting. “You’re a liability.” it says,. “Weak.”

— —

"I just don’t understand why they brought her here," Jean’s voice carries across the room, quieter than before, but still clear enough for you to hear. “She doesn’t seem like she has what it takes. It’s like they’re bringing in someone who’s—” She pauses, clearly thinking through her words. "Unstable. Weak.”

—

You idly prod your meal, feeling out of place. It isn’t long before Hank turns to you with a curious smile. “So, are you feeling ready for the mission?”

Just as you draw breath to speak, Scott's voice interrupts, cold and cutting. “She’s going to be a liability.”

— —

You snap.

Rage floods your veins, igniting the energy buried deep within you. You feel it build, coiling like a snake, tightening and twisting until it’s ready to explode. 

Weak? Liability?

No. Not this time. 

You’re not going to let this machine, or anyone else, define your strength. Your emotions fuel you, just like they did in the danger room, and you throw your hands forward, channeling every ounce of power into a massive blast of energy directed right at it.

It jerks back, its grip loosening as sparks fly from the gaping hole in its chest you just created. “What... what are you—”

You don’t give it time to finish. Ripping yourself free from its grasp, you dive into the hole you’ve blasted in the Sentinel’s chest, pulling at the tangled mess of wires and circuits inside.

The robot roars in fury, its mechanical voice glitching. “What are you doing?” it screeches, its once-calm tone now frantic, desperate. “Stop!”

But you don’t stop. You can’t stop.

Your fingers grab fistfuls of wires, yanking them out with reckless abandon, sparks flying around you as the systems begin to short-circuit. Its becomes more distorted, breaking up as it tries to regain control.

“You... can’t... do this,” it stammers, but you ignore it, focusing on the cables and circuits in front of you. Each wire you rip out brings the machine closer to its doom, and the power in the room flickers, the lights dimming as its control over the facility begins to slip.

Its voice is barely coherent now, glitching and crackling. “I... control... everything...”

And with one last burst of energy, you tear out the last cluster of wires, severing the connection.

The Sentinel lets out a final, garbled screech as its systems shut down. Its massive form shudders violently before it crumbles to the ground with a deafening crash, the metal shell crumpling into a smoking heap.

Panting, you stare at the mass of technology in front of you. Every muscle aches, your ribs throbbing from the pressure of the Sentinel’s grip, but you’ve done it. It’s over, and you need to get out of here.

You finally reach the stairs and drag yourself up agonizingly. By the time you make it outside, you’re gasping for air, but then, through the exhaustion, you see them—Logan and the rest of the team, standing amidst the wreckage of the other fallen Sentinels.

Blinking, your vision is blurry from the strain, but the sight of them standing tall, victorious, floods you with a sense of overwhelming relief. 

They’re okay. It’s over.

Of course, Logan is the first to notice you, his sharp eyes narrowing as they lock onto your trembling form. His face softens and strides toward you. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. Rather, your legs give out and you collapse forward.

He’s there in an instant, catching you just before you hit the ground. His arms wrap around you, strong and steady, pulling you against his chest with surprising gentleness. The warmth of his body is a stark contrast to the cold, metal hell you’d just fought your way out of, and for a brief moment, you allow yourself to sink into the safety of his embrace.

“You did good, bub,” he murmurs, his voice a warm breath against your temple.

"You... you kept your promise," you whisper, looking around, seeing the city in better shape than it’s even been after a run in with the X-men. 

His lids drop very low on his eyes. “Told you I would.”

“I could kiss you right now.”

Right as the words spill out, you go still, your mind catching up to what you’ve just said. A deep flush creeps its way up your neck. 

“I didn’t mean— I mean, not literally, obviously,” you say, a little breathless. “People say stuff like that all the time when they’re relieved. It’s just a figure of—”

Logan’s hand, still resting on your waist, tightens just slightly, and he clears his throat, cutting through your rambling. 

“You could,” he says, “If you want.”

You stop mid-sentence. Turning your gaze to his, you're met a look of such sincerity it leaves you speechless. Opening your mouth, you want to say something, but no words come out. 

Instead, you’re frozen, caught in the weight of his stare. His eyes flick down to your lips for just a second before they meet yours again. “No pressure, though.”

You hesitate, your heart racing in your chest, but the weight of the moment pulls you in. Silently, cautiously, you lean forward, pressing a small, tentative kiss to the corner of his mouth.

He doesn’t move, his body tense under your touch, but just as you start to pull away, his hand slides up to the small of your back, holding you in place. His eyes darken, and he growls, “more," before diving back in, crashing his lips against yours in a fierce, hungry kiss, and you find yourself kissing him back just with just as much reverence, your fingers instinctively sliding up into his hair. 

His lips are rough, chapped from battle, and the scrape of his beard against your skin is electric. It’s not perfect—nothing about it is neat or polished—but that’s what makes it real. 

There’s something wild to it. He kisses you like he’s starved,, like he’s been waiting for this moment longer than he’ll ever admit. It’s enchanting, the way his mouth claims yours, his tongue flicking against your lower lip, demanding entrance. And you give in, allowing him to deepen the kiss, your bodies fitting together like they were always meant to. 

You’re lost in it, lost in him. Every part of you feels alive, and—

“Hey!”

Scott’s voice cuts through the haze like a bucket of cold water.

“Some of us are actually trying to clean up this mess,” he calls out sharply. “You two wanna stop making out and help, or what?”

You break away, face burning as you turn to see the rest of the team staring at you, some amused, others (Scott) exasperated. 

Logan just growls under his breath, his hand still firmly on your hip as he glances over his shoulder at Scott. “Fucking Summers,” he mutters..

Before he lets go of you, he gives your hip one last squeeze, his fingers lingering just a moment longer before he steps back, and heads toward the fallen remains of the Sentinels. 

—

“So… are we gonna talk about it?” 

You glance up from where you’re sitting, your face already warming. Logan, sitting beside you, groans, rubbing a hand over his face. “Ororo, I swear to g—”

She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a smirk playing on her lips. “What? I’m just saying… it was quite the spectacle back there.” Her eyes flip between the two of you, the unspoken words hanging in the air.

Shifting uncomfortably in your seat, you can feel everyone else’s attention subtly turning toward you. Hank’s busy tapping away at the controls, but even he has a knowing smile tugging at his lips. Scott, seated across from you, adjusts his visor and mutters something under his breath about keeping things professional, but it’s Jean’s quiet chuckle that draws the final straw.

“Okay, okay, can we not do this right now?” you ask, your voice higher than usual as you wave a hand dismissively. “It was... a heat of the moment thing.”

Ororo just laughs, shaking her head. “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.”

Your heart pounds, and you notice Logan shift beside you, probably fighting the urge to bark something back at the teasing woman. He leans forward, muttering under his breath, “We saved the day, didn’t we? What does it matter?”

The team goes quiet for a moment, and you sense the conversation dying down as the hum of the jet fills the space again. You let out a breath of relief, grateful that the attention has drifted elsewhere, your heartbeat slowly returning to a normal rhythm.

But then, Logan leans into you. “That suit…” His breath is warm against your ear as he whispers huskily.. “Was made for you.”

Eyes widening, you bite your lip, trying desperately to keep your reaction in check, but the shock on your face betrays you. You manage a weak scoff, glancing sideways at him. “Logan,” you warn under your breath, trying to sound stern, but you both know exactly what effect he had on you. 

You sit back, crossing your arms in an attempt to hide the flustered energy coursing through you, but Logan doesn’t seem to mind. He leans back too, a smug look on his face, like he’s won some unspoken battle.

—

Back at the mansion, the team files into Charles’s office, for the post-mission debrief. You take a seat near the back of the room, trying to remain as low-key as possible, but you can feel eyes on you—especially Logan’s.

Charles wheels in, his face warm with a smile as he surveys the room. “Well done, all of you,” he says, his voice full of pride. “I’ve heard about the battle, and from what I gather, it was quite the feat.”

He turns his gaze to you, his expression softening even more. “And I must say, I’m especially impressed with your performance. Taking down the main Sentinel—an impressive accomplishment.”

Your heart skips a beat at the praise. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, feeling the attention of the room shift in your direction again. “Uh, thanks,” you mutter, trying to downplay it, but Charles isn’t finished.

“You showed great courage and strength,” he continues, “and I couldn’t help but notice... you’re wearing the suit now.” His eyes twinkle as he says it, the question in his tone obvious. “Have you given more thought to staying with us?”

You glance around the room. The team is watching you closely, but there’s no pressure in their eyes—just curiosity and, strangely enough, acceptance. Ororo gives you a small smile, and Hank nods slightly in encouragement. Even Scott, whose jaw doesn’t seem as tightly clenched as usual.

But it’s Logan you notice most. He’s beside you, and though he’s looking at you, eye-crinkles on full display, the way his thigh nudges yours has heat running through your veins.

You sigh. “I mean... I’m wearing the suit, aren’t I?”

—

After the meeting wraps up, you and Logan walk in silence down the corridor. The rest of the team has faded into the background, dispersing into their respective spaces. You’re still buzzing with the aftereffects of everything—Charles’s praise, the mission’s success, the quiet but undeniable acceptance you feel from the team now. But more than anything, you’re hyper-aware of Logan beside you.

Approach your door, you reach out to open it, your fingers just grazing the handle when suddenly, a strong hand wraps around your wrist. Faster than you can react, Logan tugs you back, pulling you away from your room and straight into his.

The door slams shut behind you, and you barely have time to catch your breath before his lips are on yours. You gasp, your hands instinctively gripping his shoulders as he presses you up against the door, his body flush against yours.

"Logan—" you manage to breathe out between kisses, but he cuts you off with another deep, hungry kiss, his fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you closer.

Between kisses, Logan growls softly against your lips, "I’ve wanted to do this since you yelled at me and Summers on the street."

Your heart stumbles, your thoughts scrambling to keep pace with his words. His hands slide down your waist. “You were standing there,” he murmurs, “so damn fierce, yelling at us like we deserved it.” He breaks the kiss for just a second, his eyes dark and intense as they lock onto yours. “All I could think about was how much I wanted you.”

His eyes drop to your lips again, as if glued to them. Without waiting for your response, he presses his mouth to yours, this time with more force, more urgency. His hands roam your body, pulling you against him, and you’re powerless to do anything but kiss him back, your fingers tangling in his hair as the heat between you builds.

“I didn’t know it’d get this bad,” he says, his lips brushing against your jaw as he moves down to your neck. “But after everything? After seeing how strong you are... Fuck, you’re so damn sexy.”

Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined this. Logan—wanting you, aching for this since the very first moment he laid eyes on you. You break the kiss, your breath coming in quick gasps as you meet Logan's smouldering gaze. And with a small, teasing smile, you raise an eyebrow and whisper, "Let's do something about it, then."

Not giving him a chance to say anything back, you press your hands against his chest and give him a playful shove. He stumbles back a step, his lips curling into a smirk—a kind of cocky grin—as he watches you reach for the zipper of his suit. 

Your fingers drift languidly, a subtle tease in every motion, and you revel in the way his muscles tense beneath your touch. His muscles ripple beneath the surface, and for a brief instant, you're startled by how stunning he looks—battle-worn, scarred, and irresistibly handsome. “You like what you see, darlin’?” he teases.

You step closer, your hand splayed against his bare chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin as you push him down onto the edge of the bed. “Maybe.”

He lands with a low grunt, his hands instinctively finding your thighs, his fingers trailing up and down as his eyes rake over you. "As hot as you look in this suit," His voice is thick with desire. "You'd look even better without it."

Heat rushes through you at the sound of his voice, your hands drift toward your suit's zipper. Tantalizingly, you begin to pull it down, revealing inch by inch of your skin as you unzip it. His eyes follow your movements, his breathing coming in short, ragged bursts.

You pause just before the fabric slides over your breasts and his hands grip your thighs tighter. Leaning down, your lips brush against his ear, "Patience, Logan."

He groans, "You're killing me here, darlin'."

At last, you pull the zipper down to the end, and with a soft sigh, the suit falls open, slipping from your shoulders and landing in a heap at your feet. His eyes darken, his lips parting slightly as he takes in the sight of you. Then, he inches closer, grabbing the egde of your underwear in his mouth, sliding it down your legs. Once he’s halfway down your thigh, he releases, the underwear dropping to the floor. His strong hands move grip the back of your thighs, hauling you up and onto his lap. 

The moment your bare bodies press together, his lips crash into yours again, fingers digging into your ass, palming it as he pulls you against him, grinding your hips into his.

His lips move from your mouth to your neck, kissing a hot trail down your throat to your shoulders, his hands sliding up to your breasts. Cupping them, he kneads and plays with your nipples, causing you to arch into his touch, a breathy moan tumbling out of your lips. 

Logan growls, and the sound reverberates through your entire body. The intensity of it makes your skin tingle, and you feel your pulse quicken as he squeezes your breasts harder, his mouth moving down to kiss anything he can reach.

You grind against him again, coating his cock with your own slick want. "Shit," he strains, leaning back a bit to give you more access. You can’t stop, he’s so intoxicating, so addicting, and every time your clit goes over the ridges of his hardness, you lose yourself even further.

This continues for some time. The room filled with nothing but the sound of moaning and heavy breathing, as you work in tandem to bring pleasure to each other. Abruptly, you pull yourself off his lap, not missing the way his lips seems to chase after yours, letting your hands trail down his chest, your fingers brushing over the taut muscles of his stomach.

"Where you goin'?" he rumbles. 

Wordlessly, you drop to your knees, your grip coming to rest on his thighs. His chest heaves as he stares down at you—peering up at him through your lashes—realizing what’s about to happen.

His hands grip the edge of the bed, knuckles turning white. Your hands slide up his thighs, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your palms as you move closer, lips brushing against his hard cock. There's a wicked glint in your eyes as you lean in, looking ready to take him in your mouth, but instead, you move to his inner thigh, peppering it in quick little kisses. 

“C’mon, don’t tease,” he breathes out. He’s so hard, it’s almost painful. 

Grabbing him in your hand, you stroke him up and down in slow motions, running your thumb over his leaking, angry tip. He jerks, a fresh cascade of curses tumbling from his mouth. 

“You’re just so cute, though,” you say, before taking him in your mouth, taking him all the way in one motion.

“Holy—”, he starts, but interrupts himself with his own whine, hips bucking involuntarily. 

Looking up, you catch his gaze. His eyes are dark with desire, pupils blown wide. A flush spreads across his cheeks and down his neck. You hum in satisfaction, sending vibrations through him, and start to bob your head, up and down. 

Saliva begins to pool at the edges of your mouth as you gag a little. He’s so big. You pull him out of your mouth, licking his shaft bottom to tip, swirling your tongue around the most sensitive spot, before sucking on it. One hand moves to cup his balls, while the other begins jerking him up and down, with your mouth still around his tip. 

That gets him. 

You can tell he’s about to finish, and oh, do you want him to. You want to feel him empty in your throat, you want to see him lose it completely. "Wait," he gasps, tapping the top of your head, signalling for your attention. "I want... I need..."

Releasing him with a soft pop, your lips glisten, and you purr seductively. "What do you need?" 

He pulls you up onto the bed, strong arms encircling your waist. His scent surrounds you—musk and pine and something uniquely him. You inhale deeply, letting it fill your lungs. 

"You," he breathes, his lips brushing your ear. "I need you."

Arching into him, you nip at his lower lip. "Then take me," you sigh out. His lips collide with yours again, and your mouth opens involuntarily, his tongue sliding in and tasting you—tasting himself. 

Moaning, you shuffle higher onto the bed, until he hits the back frame, and you crawl on top of him. At this point, you can barely breathe, the need, the want for him so strong your senses are clouded. 

And you’re not alone. Under you, Logan is a wreck. His head falls back against the bed frame, the veins in his neck standing out as he grits his teeth, trying to steady his breathing

“Fuck,” he rasps, the word barely more than a strained exhale. You grab his dick and position yourself above him. Then, you slowly begin to drop down, sucking him in easily, like he was made for you.  

“Oh my god,” you whimper. He feels so good. He’s filling you up to the brim and when you finally sit down, taking him all the way to the hilt, you swear you could finish right then and there. His nose is nuzzles into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning your collarbone, inhaling and practically drooling at your scent. “Is this what you wanted to do when we were sparring?”

All he can do is groan. It’s like he’s growing inside you in response to your words, and it’s so fucking hot. His hands find your thighs again, rubbing and squeezing them, as you adjust to his size for a moment, and he looks up at you. “You have no idea. Fuck—we shoulda done this last night," he grunts breathlessly, "Would have put you right to sleep."

You can’t even think of anything to say back verbally, rather, you just begin to move, lifting yourself right to the tip, and then slamming back down. He feels you clench around him as his cock reaches that deep part within you at the perfect angle. Positioning himself, he meets you halfway, beginning to thrust up into you.

The sound it elicits from you is lethal. 

He won’t last long if this continues. The sight of you on top of him, tits bouncing—it's too much. 

So, when he leans in to kiss you again, he rolls the two of you around, caging you under him. He’s still inside you, you think, but that thought quickly gets wiped out like the rest of them once he starts moving, stretching you out more and more. He’s filling you up so well. Your arms fly out, hands searching for something to grab to ground yourself. 

“You feel so good, darlin’,” he pants above you. “So wet and warm for me.”

His relentless pounding leaves you babbling incoherently. One of his arms move down to your waist, then his fingers begin trailing across your hip, toward your aching pussy, to find your clit, and holy shit. 

Your mind goes blank. 

His skin against yours, his thumb rubbing against that spot, his lips on your neck, it does the trick, and you feel yourself teetering closer to the edge. “I’m–I’m gonna—” you start, but he cuts you off, swallowing you whole.

“Do it,” he says between kisses. “come for me.”

And you do. 

With a loud moan, your fingers find the bedsheets, clutching them tightly as you reach your peak, clamping around him.

“Fuck,” he hisses, “keep clenchin’, keep goin’ babygirl.”

His thrusts begin to get sloppy, losing his pacing. The hand that was down at your core moves up and squeezes your tits, so large that he can grab both in just the one. He grinds himself deeper into you, and with one last snap of his hips, you feel it.

Logan moans, dipping his head into your cleavage as he releases himself into you fully. Then, he collapses onto you, dropping his whole body weight onto yours. 

If he’s too heavy for you, you don’t say anything—too caught up in the moment to care. His forehead rests on your sternum, breathing slowing as he catches his breath. For a few beats, neither of you speak, but he starts to press sweet, gentle kisses in the valley between your breasts. 

After a minute, he shifts, lifting his weight off you and sitting up slightly, looking down at you. His hand brushes over your cheek, wiping away some stray strands of hair that have fallen across your face. He gets up from the bed, padding quietly into the bathroom. 

You hear the sound of water running, and moments later, he returns with a damp towel in hand. There’s no hesitation in his movements as he gently begins to clean you up. “Doing alright?” he asks, wiping away the sweat and evidence of your time together.

“Yeah,” you reply softly, feeling a smile tug at the corners of your lips. “I’m good.”

He doesn’t say much as he finishes, tossing the towel aside before climbing back into bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms. 

His chin rests lightly on the top of your head, and then he says, “I’m proud of you.” The words are filled will sincerity. “And... I’m happy you’re stayin’ with us.”

You turn your head, looking up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“Well, you showed me you can actually fight without destroying everything in your path,” you tease, raising an eyebrow as you run your hand lightly down his arm. “Keep that up, and I might just stick around forever.”

Logan grins, the kind that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges, just how you like it. “That right?” he murmurs lowly.

He leans in close, pressing a quick kiss to your temple, before adding in a hushed, almost playful tone, “Well, then maybe you’ll be mine forever too.”

----

He Feels Everything

Summary: You thought sneaking off to fuck yourself with his metal hand would be enough. You didn’t know he could feel it. Now he’s in your bed—and he’s not leaving.

Avengers!Bucky x Avengers,afab!reader

Warning: 18+ (mdni!), smut, masturbation, voyeurism (kinda), ovulation kink, overstimulation, squirting, breeding kink, use of metal arm, consent is clear even not worded, fluff if you squint, mutual pining

a/n: Hi! this is my second story, once again inspired by one of my steamy dreams. I'm still figuring out how to write, and English isn’t my first language, so please go easy on me. Hope you still enjoy reading it! Thank you so much for being here!! ♡♡♡

➜ Part 2 💜

—

“‘Kay, see you—”

Bucky’s words hung in the air as he turned, only to be met with silence. Again. You were already gone, slipping away from the sparring room like smoke—just like always. He let out a quiet chuckle, but deep down, it tugged at something tender. He wished you’d stay. Just once. He wanted to talk to you when it wasn’t about missions or training or saving the damn world.

—

You were already halfway down the hallway, heat pooling low in your belly, heartbeat pounding like a war drum. Every single time Bucky touched you—even the most casual brush of skin during training—it sent you spiraling. The dark, sticky kind of desire. It didn’t matter how bubbly or bright you seemed around the compound, laughter spilling from your lips like sunlight. No one knew you were constantly battling a wild, insatiable craving inside you. And Bucky Barnes? He was your worst temptation.

Being assigned as his partner was torture on the daily. But tonight? Ovulating. And Bucky had the fucking audacity to wear a tight black shirt and grey sweatpants. Every inch of him was sinful—muscles rippling beneath cotton, his hair messy, lips slightly parted, glistening with sweat.

You didn’t even make it to the shower. Shirt and sports bra peeled off in a frenzy, you collapsed onto your bed, hand sliding between your legs like you were racing against time. Your panties were already soaked, clinging to your skin like a plea.

“Oh, Bucky…” you whimpered, fingers flicking at your nipples, hips rolling like they had a mind of their own.

His face flashed behind your eyelids—those intense eyes, the way his chest heaved when he pinned you down during training. Every non-sexual move felt indecent in your head. You plunged two fingers inside yourself, imagining them as cold, unforgiving vibranium.

“Fuck me, Bucky,” you groaned, your voice soaked in filth and need, pumping your fingers until the orgasm hit like a truck. But it wasn’t enough.

It was never enough.

Your cunt was still pulsing, still dripping. Your body still screamed his name. You’d never dared go to him before, but tonight something snapped.

You needed him. Or at least… part of him.

You snuck into his room under the guise of "emergency"—and, well, it was an emergency. Your entire existence was on fire. He’d once given you his passcode in case of danger. This qualified.

He was asleep. Or so you thought. His metal arm was off, lying on the bedside table.

And god help you, you took it.

Back in your room, you positioned the cool metal fingers against your slick folds, one at a time, until you were stretched wide. Three fingers deep and your cunt was clamping tight around the steel.

“Look at me,” you moaned, “taking your fingers so good.”

You thrust it harder, your body shuddering, until—suddenly—it vibrated.

Your breath caught.

What the actual—

Your heart stopped. You felt him. Before you even turned around, your body knew.

And there he was.

James Bucky Barnes. Standing at your door with lust blown wide in his eyes, a tent straining in those same sweatpants you’d mentally undressed a hundred times.

You yanked the metal fingers from your cunt like you were caught stealing heaven, pulling the comforter up in a panic.

But his voice—low and gravel and fucked-out—froze you.

“Don’t stop, doll.” His hand palmed the thick bulge between his thighs. “I can feel everything.”

Your mouth fell open.

He stepped closer. “Even when it’s not attached. Every squeeze. Every wet clench around me.” His voice was a goddamn weapon, slow and deliberate, and your body betrayed you—slicking up again like a prayer.

He sat on the bed beside you, cupping your flushed cheek with his flesh hand. “Come for me, baby,” he whispered, lips brushing yours.

You moaned, repositioning the fingers inside your soaked cunt. Bucky started stroking himself, murmuring your name like a mantra.

You came so hard your vision went white. And then again. And again. Squirting across the sheets, across him.

“Jesus fuck, you’re killing me,” he groaned, spilling hot and heavy across your stomach. He collapsed beside you, kissing you with a softness that nearly undid you.

He lifted his metal hand, licking your cum from the fingers like it was dessert, then pulled you close after attaching it back to its place.

“So you do want me,” he said, grinning against your skin.

“I’ve always wanted you,” you breathed. “For years. But… if you knew what I wanted to do to you…”

He tilted his head. “What do you want?”

You bit your lip. “To fuck you senseless. Ride you until you’re begging. Hear you moan my name while I squeeze every drop from your cock. For you to fill me up.”

He groaned and pinned you down, grinding his thick cock against your wet heat.

“If I’d known, we would’ve started this months ago,” he muttered, sinking into you with one deep, devastating thrust.

You cried out, gripping his shoulders like a lifeline. He fucked you like he meant it. Like he’d waited forever for this too.

By your seventh orgasm, you were sobbing—body trembling, completely wrung out. You passed out with his cock still buried inside you.

He smiled, kissed your forehead, and carefully pulled out.

The serum kept his stamina up, but what filled him most wasn’t lust—it was you.

You were his now.

And god help anyone who tried to take you away.

Omggg this was so beautiful 🥹 I love the progression of their relationship!

always a woman, to me (fic)

bucky barnes x fem!reader | inspiration | some canonically inaccurate things pertaining to bucky's family, go with it please!!

content warnings: complex family dynamics; very brief mentions of SA/harassment; brief mentions/allusions to PTSD and trauma; sexual content (p in v; fem and m receiving)

word count: 26k.

blurb: Bucky Barnes has a secret. He has massages nearly every week. It's to help him with his tension and anxiety; to help him sleep. And maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with the pretty masseuse.

Bucky Barnes had a secret. 

It had started as an off-handed joke from Sam. It was back in the summer, when Bucky had gone to visit him and his family. They’d been sitting out back, basking in the sunshine, sharing kebabs and grilled burgers and ice tea in the July heat. Sam had walked past him and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it in a brotherly fashion. 

“God damn, you’re tense,” he’d chuckled. Bucky glanced up at him, laughing as he walked back to the house, likely to fetch another beer, Sam joked, “you should get a massage or something. Loosen you up.”

Bucky wasn’t sure why it had sat in his mind for so long. It was like a bad smell in his house: no matter what he did to try and deter, it wouldn’t leave. He knew he was tense. Sleeping on a hardwood floor with nothing but a woolen blanket will do that to you; leave you with knots in your shoulders and an aching back. He walked as if he were carrying rocks on his head, weighing down on his neck, dragging his arms towards the floor. His back was stiff, guard always up. Bucky flinched at the slightest intrusion. He wasn’t quick to physical touch, always the one to initiate something as minor as a handshake or hug with Sam.

The pain had once felt like repent. Punishment, in a way. After all the horrors he’d caused, what right did he have to be comfortable? To be relaxed. But it was also familiar. He’d been tense for so long it was hard to remember a time when he had felt every muscle in his body take a breath. Locked up inside of a shell, screaming to get out, made it so that there was always a part of him that would never fully calm. It was an understatement to say his accommodation during his time as the Winter Soldier was far from five stars. Concrete slabs for a bed; an ice chamber for a tomb; freezing water to shower under; beatings as punishment for a sloppy job, or when one of the guards was feeling bored. After, when he was running from Hydra, hiding from the law, it was not much better. The mattress he’d thrifted was lumpy. Springs stuck out at odd angles, digging into his spine and biting into his arms and legs. Sometimes the floor was favoured. Strangely, it provided him with more ease of rest. But he didn’t rest. He thrashed in deep and disturbed waters, fighting to break the surface of sleep. Awake wasn’t much better. He was on edge, on watch, ready to run or to fight - whichever came first. Usually both. There was always a fight, it seemed. A fight that he never wanted in the first place. 

Bucky had hoped that after Karli, and Sam, and John Walker, the seeming semblance of closure to his past life would help that tension ease. He had thought it would roll off him like pebbles from a sloping cliff - dropping down into the depths of the ocean. But just like all the dark sides of his past and the scars that littered his body, it seemed it would be forever. He had tried to make peace with that too. But Sam’s offhand comment had planted the seed. 

That was how he wound up here, standing in the reception of ‘Serenity Springs’. It was just outside of the city; a wooden lodge with black tiled roofs and enough shrubs to challenge the Amazon rainforest. It was attached to a golf club. He’d seen a gaggle of middle-aged men dressed in khakis and polo shirts, laughing haughty at a joke one had made whilst leaning against golf carts. Bucky had almost turned the car around at the sight: that wasn’t his crowd. But something had driven him to stay. Perhaps it was the eighty dollars he’d already dropped on the booking. 

Glancing around the quiet reception, he surveyed the scene like a reflex. Instead of scanning for threats, Bucky tried to familiarise himself with the foreign environment. Spas weren’t much of a thing in his time, with massages just as unpopular. If he were to sit his former self down and tell him that he would one day wind up in a spa, Bucky couldn’t help but feel it might be one of the harder things to wrap his head around. Somehow torture seemed more on the cards than dressing in a robe and lying down on some cushioned table with oils slicked up and down his back. 

The place seemed non-threatening. Plinky, nondescript music played in the background. A couple of older ladies sat in armchairs facing one another, nursing cups of coffee and talking in hushed tones with pleasant smiles. Their robes were beige and waffled in texture, hanging slightly large on their frail frames. To their right was an enormous fish tank. It bubbled in what Bucky imagined was supposed to be a soothing manner (though it truthfully just made him want to pee); brightly coloured coral was intermixed with reeds and purple and blue stones. Tropical fish swam around in the expanse. Behind him, an extensive collection of products were advertised on glass shelves. He eyed one of the price tags, eyes widening slightly at the seventy dollars attached to what looked to be a rather regular bottle of lotion. As he was about to lose nerve, someone sauntered over to the reception desk. 

“Good morning, sir,” she smiled kindly. 

“Morning,” Bucky replied, clearing his throat. 

“How can I help you today?” Her voice was overly soft like it had been left out in the sun for too long. 

Bucky took a breath, glancing at the array of items displayed along the desk’s surface as he said, “I, uh, got a booking. A massage and stuff like that.”

“Wonderful, let me just check on the system. What’s your name?”

Bucky’s eyes glanced at her, quickly scanning her face. She was waiting patiently, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “James. James Barnes.”

“Wonderful,” she murmured, typing away. A pause, waiting for the screen to load, and then, “ah, yes. The Swedish massage, is it? Neck, shoulders and arms, hm?”

“Sounds ‘bout right,” Bucky nodded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He felt like he took up too much space. Stood too tall; felt too broad. He took another quick glance around him and wanted to sigh with relief at the sight of another man tucked away in an armchair, also dressed in a robe. 

“Wonderful. So your treatment isn’t until three-forty. You do have access to all the spa amenities whilst you wait, which are just through the glass doors to your left,” the receptionist explained, gesturing with a soft sweep of her hand to the doorway. Bucky gave a nod. “There is a complimentary coffee included in your treatment. We have all the classics: Americano, latte, cappuccino…”

“A latte would be great. Thanks.”

“Excellent. I’ll bring that over to you, if you’d want to take a seat. I’ll also give you this to fill out, just to give to our therapists.” With that, a clipboard was placed before him. Bucky took it and perused the text. He swallowed and nodded again. “Wonderful. I’ll be right there with your coffee.”

Bucky wondered if it was a requirement for every sentence in this place to start with an affirmation. 

The armchair nearest the other man seemed to be calling to him. Some primal urge to be near his own, perhaps. Or maybe he didn’t want to seem as though he was eavesdropping into the juicy drama that Barbara was sharing with Lucy (apparently her son had cheated on his wife for the third time and got someone pregnant; quite the scandal; curse superhuman hearing). He tapped the pen provided against the frame of the board as he read. Bla, bla, bla, welcome to Serenity Springs, we hope you have a relaxing and rejuvenating time with us, bla, bla… First came the health conditions. His pen lingered at the check box beside ‘elderly’. There were ages specified in the brackets beside it but Bucky exceeded them, and so he decided not to bother. It wasn’t as though people were querying him on his pension every other day. The box beside ‘amputee’ was met with a tick mark, along with ‘mental illness’ and ‘poor sleep’. Shifting in his seat with a sigh, his eyes caught the receptionist making her way over with a coffee mug. 

“Here you go sir. Enjoy,” she remarked as she placed it on the coffee table beside him. “Here’s the key to your locker. Everything you need - robe, towel and sliders - are inside it. If you return to this area five minutes before your treatment, your therapist will come collect you. We hope you have a wonderful time with us, and please ask if you need anything.”

Bucky nodded and murmured a thanks, offering a tight smile. He felt uneasy in this place. Everyone was acting like they’d taken a sedative or smoked a joint. Must be something in the water. At the thought, he glanced at his coffee. Would that be so bad? Wasn’t that why he was here, after all? To relax. To loosen the hell up? He took a long sip and swallowed. Back to the clipboard. 

Is there anything your therapist should be aware of for your treatment?

It was hard to hold back his snort. The box didn’t provide enough space for all that. Instead, he simply wrote two words: ‘war vet’. There were some other boring terms and conditions to sign and date, like if he somehow became so relaxed that he might drop dead on the table, and then he was done. He watched the fish as he finished his coffee. There was a aquamarine one which kept bumping the glass. Darwinism. Then, with the clipboard handed over to the receptionist, who received it as if she’d won some grand award (“wonderful, thank you so much”), Bucky was venturing into the changing rooms. 

They were empty save for one gentleman. Elderly, wrinkled, still somewhat spritely in his way of moving as he fed things into his locker. Bucky used the key provided to open his designated locker. As promised, he was met with a robe and towel, and a pair of toweled sliders. He unpacked the backpack which had been slung over his shoulder, changing into his swim shorts. He hesitated at the hem of his shirt. The elderly man had long retired to the pool area. The changing room was empty. Inhaling deeply, Bucky tugged his shirt off quick and fast as if ripping off a band-aid. He tucked it into his backpack before pulling his robe on, quick to conceal his metal arm that glinted in the daylight seeping through the small windows above the lockers. Everything locked away, sliders now on, Bucky swallowed his pride and stepped out of the changing rooms and into the pool area as if he were walking onto an active battle field. 

There were a myriad of people lounging on sunbeds, eyes slipped shut or head buried in a book. Some were gathered in the hot tub; a couple sat side by side, chatting away, smiling brightly. A twenty-something-year-old was swimming laps like he was training for the Olympics in the pool. The whoosh of the waves that came with every stroke blended into the vague bubbling and lapping of the water. Through an archway were the so-called ‘amenities’ which he had been forewarned of. A sauna and a steam room, and an ice bucket which Bucky was planning to avoid like the plague. His feet seemed to guide him there, leading him to the hooks lining the wall outside the steam room. Swallowing the nerves, Bucky took a quick glance around him before shrugging off his robe. He wasn’t sure why he was so anxious to reveal his arm. He didn’t tend to show it off in public, favouring gloves simply to save the stares and questions, and mostly the recognition. But this was different. It felt exposing. It wasn’t just the hand or forearm that would be on show. It would be the whole thing. 

Face hard like steel, Bucky pulled open the door to the steam room and stepped inside. It tugged closed behind him. With a quick survey, there was nobody else inside. The tension that he unconsciously carried eased slightly with the realisation. Only slightly. Sighing, he took a seat in the far corner, tucked almost out of sight, disappearing behind a cloud of aromatic fog. The breath he took in was deep, filling his lungs as if it were the first time he had breathed in years, and he instantly felt lighter. His eyes slipped shut and his head rocked back. Bucky could see the appeal.

Time stretched on like that. Droplets gathered on his face, his arms, his chest, his legs. They ran down the bridge of his nose and dripped off his chin and fingertips. His metal arm soaked up the heat but it wasn’t uncomfortable. His back began to soften into the tiled bench. He licked his lips and faintly tasted salt from his sweat intermingled with the steam. When the door clicked open, however, whatever semblance of relaxation Bucky had found vanished. 

“I think he’ll have to leave her, Lucy.”

It was Barbara and Lucy from the reception. They waddled in, their floral swimsuits fitting for their characters. The door clicked shut behind them and they glanced at Bucky, smiling brightly at him. He gave a closed lip smile back, acknowledging them, questioning whether to dart out. Barbara settled in the far corner, Lucy beside her, and they both sighed. Bucky eyed the door. 

“I think he’s been needing to leave her since the first one, Barbs. That little nineteen-year-old he scurried off with? It’s shameless.”

Bucky glanced down at the floor. He couldn’t believe that he was considering staying to listen in to some more of the conversation. God damn it. 

“Sometimes wish he just got that damn vasectomy. Would have saved him a lot of trouble.”

In his peripheral vision, Bucky saw Lucy elbow Barbara. She gave a pointed look over to Bucky. Shame prickled his spine, dread colouring him pinker than the heat. They’d recognised him. Oh God - what were they going to say? He should leave. He should just get up and–

“-oh, I’m sorry dear. Should watch my language, hm?”

Bucky looked at her blankly for a moment before finding his voice. He smiled politely. “No, no, you’re good. Don’t worry. I wasn’t even listening, really.”

“Impossible. Barbara, here, doesn’t know the meaning of talking quietly,” Lucy replied. Barbara scoffed and shook her head, laughing. Bucky felt his smile ease into something more natural. Then, Lucy’s eyes widened. With a gape, she exclaimed, “My God, you’re in good shape.”

“Lucy!”

“Well, he is! They weren’t built like that back in my days, I’ll tell you that for free,” Lucy shamelessly commented. 

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. He ran a hand through his hair, flustered and flattered all at once. “Oh, uh thanks, 'suppose.”

“What on earth do you lift? Cars?”

“Oh, Lucy, for Christ’s sake,” Barbara tutted, shaking her head. Then, at Bucky, she added, “sorry about her.”

“You’re good, you’re good. A compliment’s a compliment, so…” Bucky replied. 

“Mm, I think you might be a little young for this one,” Barbara joked. Bucky couldn’t help his smile as he thought, I think you’d be surprised to find that I’m definitely not. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Uh, no. First time, actually.”

“Oh, well you’re in for a treat!”

“We love it here. Come nearly every week,” Lucy chimed in. She had finally stopped ogling Bucky’s physique. Thumbing to her left, she added, “this one’s granddaughter works here. We get a discount.”

“Discount, huh? That’s a pretty sweet deal,” Bucky replied. 

“She’s a darl, she really is. A great masseuse too. Oh! Maybe you’ll have her! Are you having a treatment today?” Bucky nodded. Barbara clapped her hands together, grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, well here’s to hoping!”

Bucky smiled once more and nodded. “Here’s to hoping,” he echoed, finding the conversation coming to a natural close. The door cracked open and someone else joined. The elderly man from the changing rooms. He took perch and the room fell quiet once more. Bucky rocked his head back and closed his eyes. The strange conversation with Barbara and Lucy had seemed to wipe away any fears of how people might react to him being there. He contemplated his narcissism as he basked in the steam once more. Breathed in and out. If it weren’t for his enhanced hearing, he likely wouldn’t have heard Barbara’s whisper to Lucy: 

“He’d be nice for my darl, don’t you think?”

“Oh certainly. If I was ten years younger…”

“Try thirty,” Barbara snorted. Bucky bit back his smile. Maybe this spa thing wouldn't be so bad after all. 

The rest of the waiting time passed without a hitch. People were weirdly welcoming. They kept to themselves. Shared polite smiles, the occasional odd word passed, a comment here or there about the temperature of the water in the hot tub or the essential oil used in the sauna. Any glances to his arm were fleeting like a comet; not a single comment made. Barbara and Lucy gave enthusiastic waves from across the room when Bucky accidentally caught their eye. He gave a small wave back; they were oddly endearing. In a funny way, he imagined that’s what he and Steve might have been like if everything had gone to plan: returning from the war, healthy and alive, settling to live long lives. 

Just as requested, at three-thirty-five, Bucky returned to the waiting room. He felt a little silly dressed in his swim shorts and robe, large feet tucked into a pair of sliders which were a size too small. He sat in an armchair and stared at the fishtank, losing himself in thoughts of what Barbara’s granddaughter might look like. He hadn’t asked for a name. Had no clue to go from, not unless she happened to be the spitting image of her grandmother. 

“James, is it?”

His head snapped to his left. You’d snuck up on him, somehow. You were smiling, warm and welcoming like a crackling fire in a log cabin. Bucky nodded. 

“Are you ready for your treatment?”

He nodded again. 

“Excellent. If you want to follow me, it’s just up these stairs.”

With that, Bucky pushed to his feet. He stood a good foot taller than you. Your hair was pulled back neatly, fly aways caught under bobby pins. The attire seemed typical for your job: a black shirt with black pants, plain flats which padded softly on the carpeted stairs that Bucky followed you up. The plinky music was back, slightly louder upstairs, and there was an oil diffuser which stunk the place up of lavender. You smiled politely over your shoulder. 

“Is this your first time at Serenity Spa?”

Bucky nodded.

“How are you finding it?”

“S’alright,” Bucky replied. You nodded, seemingly not discouraged by his quiet demeanour, and led him to a treatment room. 

“If you just want to take a seat for me,” you gestured to a leather single seater. Bucky nodded and did as asked. His hands clasped together; the metal twinkled under the low lighting of the room. You clicked the door shut, trapping the two of you inside of a mostly dark treatment room. There were electric candles scattered across the various surfaces. An orange light was dimly glowing above a sink. Coin sized spotlights were pressed into the ceiling to imitate stars. It smelt like essential oils. The plinky music remained, but now it was more like white noise, low tones that made Bucky feel like he was at the bottom of the ocean. The thing which caught his eye was an ornament. It was a Newton’s cradle: five metallic balls which were constantly in motion. One clicked against the other and it sent it all into action. 

“Right, so if we— Everything okay?”

Bucky glanced back at you. “Yeah.”

You turned to see where he’d been looking. “A fan of Newton’s cradle?”

“It’s annoying,” Bucky commented without thinking. You laugh, dissipating any worry Bucky had of being rude. 

“Suppose it is, yeah,” you quietly comment as you make your way over to it. A pedicured finger reaches out to catch one of the balls. You gently ease it back into place beside the others and it finally sits still. Looking at him, you ask, “better?”

Bucky smiles. “Yeah.”

“Good. Okay, so where was I?” you wonder aloud, walking back over to him. You lean against the massage table, standing opposite him. “Right! So, welcome to your treatment. You said this was your first time with us at Serenity. Is it your first time having a massage?”

Bucky nods. The tension was coming back, creeping in like a morning fog. You weren’t intimidating or unwelcoming. In fact, Bucky had never known someone to have such a natural aura of calm around them. It was as if you exuded it. The smile that remained on your face wasn’t fake or performative. It was as if you’d been born with a quirk to your lips, tugging them upwards, beaming at seemingly nothing. For some reason, it didn’t annoy him. But the unfamiliarity of the process - the notion that he’d have to relinquish control to a stranger - that did little to set him at ease. The spa had been pleasant enough because Bucky could decide where to go and when to leave. He knew what a steam room and a sauna and a hot tub entailed. But this? This was unchartered waters. 

“Okay,” you say, nodding, “well, today you’ll be receiving a Swedish massage for your neck, shoulders and arms. All that means is the type of massage therapy I’ll be using. Nothing out of the ordinary - your classic oils and lotions. Does that all sound okay?”

Bucky swallowed. He forced himself to nod. 

“What’s your skin type?”

Bucky’s brows tugged together with a frown. He glanced down at himself, mostly concealed in the waffly robe. “Uh…white?”

You give a small laugh, polite, not demeaning. “Oh, uh, no, I meant what sort of skin type do you have? Oily, dry, sensitive…?”

Bucky shrugged. “Normal, I guess.”

“Okay,” you say, nodding once more. “Normal’s good. Makes things easy for me,” you smile. Bucky tries his best to smile back. The tension is consuming him. He feels like his shoulders are up to his ears; his back nothing but a metal rod. “Are you comfortable with lotions and oils?”

“Sure.”

“And is there any place that you would prefer not to be touched?”

Bucky eyes flit away from yours and down at the floor. He studies your shoes. They’re leather. The polish shines in the low lighting. “Uh…Well, I have a prosthetic, so…not quite sure how that works…”

“Right, okay,” you say. “I did notice you put ‘war vet’ on the form? Is that something you’d want to discuss?”

Bucky’s eyes quickly dart back to yours. His guard goes up. “Discuss how?”

You seem to notice your misstep, eyes widening momentarily, that permanent smile faltering. “Oh! No, nothing…intrusive. Just…does that make a change to how you might want to receive your massage?”

What kind of dumbass question is that? Bucky thinks to himself. He shrugs. “Well, I don’t really know what this involves so–”

“--Well, I’m just thinking to another war vet I had in here–”

“--there’s been some before?” Bucky can’t help but ask. You seem stunned by his question for a second. 

“Yeah,” you then say, smiling again, nodding. “A few, actually. Massage and aroma therapy can have incredibly beneficial effects on improving the mind and body, especially for those who have gone through rough times. Traumatic times, even."

Bucky studies you a moment as if searching for some insincerity. You don’t shy away from it. You wait, smile, hands clasped pretty in front of you. “What’ve you done for them, in the past?”

You visibly relax at his question. “Well, one preferred to know what I was going to do. I’d give him heads-ups for where I was going to touch him, and he’d tell me no if it was too much. It can be overstimulating sometimes, y’know?”

That didn’t sound all bad. Bucky cleared his throat and shuffled in his seat. It felt like a vice, holding him in. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good with me.”

“Perfect. Okay, so, when you’re ready, if you could take off your robe - you can just leave it on the chair - and then get up onto the table, underneath the blanket. If you lie on your stomach with your head through the hole, there. Is that alright?”

Bucky felt his cheeks burn warm as he reluctantly asked, “do I, uh…am I…dressed, or?”

You don’t seem surprised by the question. “It’s down to personal preference. Some people like to be fully nude beneath the blanket but some prefer to keep their swim shorts on. The blanket’s there anyway so I won’t be seeing anything.”

His stiff nod is your reply. You push off the table and head to the door. “Perfect. I’ll give you a few minutes, and I’ll knock before coming back in.”

“Got it,” Bucky mumbled. With that, you’re stepping out of the room. He lets out a deep breath the moment he’s alone. It feels stupid. The twinkling tunes do little to make him feel less of a pratt as he rises to his feet and shrugs off his robe. The table is sturdy as he climbs atop of it. It’s ungainly as he wriggles under the blanket, once more doing little to alleviate how out of place he feels. Least it smells nice. And that annoying tick-tick-tick of Newton's cradle has stopped. Then, Bucky just lies. His forehead presses into the cushioned lining of the head-hole. His hands lay by his sides, metal fingers whirring quietly as they twitch. Impatient. On edge. Bucky’s not sure he’s ever been more uncomfortable in his life, and he’d spent half of it locked in a chamber of ice. 

As promised, there’s a knock on the door. At Bucky’s silence, you click it open a crack. “All good?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. You step in and close the door. It feels like every part of him is on edge, waiting to be triggered like a loaded gun. His eyes listen carefully to every move you make. Every footstep around the room. He tracks it in his mind as if retracing a map of the four walled room. 

“Okay, I’m just going to wash my hands,” you say. You walk over to the sink. Bucky hears the water running. On, then off. “I’m going to turn this light off,” you tell him, and Bucky watches the light slinking across the floor become slightly dimmer. You approach the table. Your footsteps are light - you’d make a good spy, he thinks to himself. The tone of your voice is gentle, soothing like honey, squishy like wet sand. “I’m just going to pull the blanket down to your lower waist.”

The blanket is eased off his frame and folded carefully downwards. It isn’t cold in the room but goosebumps still pebble his skin. His fingers twitch again. He stares holes into the ground. His arm has never felt so obvious before. Bucky listens for the hitch in your breath, some sign of surprise or recognition, or maybe even disgust. But there’s nothing. You’re unshaken, it seems. Until: 

“I can see you’re wearing a chain. Would it be okay if you remove it?”

Bucky remembers the dog tags which are currently pressing into his stomach. They were a part of him now, always on his person, that he forgot about them entirely. “Oh, uh, sure.”

“Thank you. It’s just to make it easier to get to your neck,” you tell him. Bucky pushes up slightly on one arm, using the other to pull the tags up and over his head. In his peripheral, he sees your outstretched hand, palm open. He hesitates. “There’s a bowl right near the sink. They’ll be safe there.”

Handing them over feels wrong. It’s like he’s giving a piece of him away. Without them, he feels naked. Exposed. As he lays back down on his front, he catches the clink of his dog tags being placed in the tray. You cross the room and lather your hands in some sort of oil. Bucky’s heart begins to quicken. There’s an overwhelming urge to just get up and grab his stuff and get out. But he doesn’t. Fights to keep his body still, his mind present. You return to the side of the table. 

“Take a deep breath in for me through the nose, James,” you request in that same, supple voice. Bucky closes his eyes and does as you ask. “Good…Now let it out through the mouth.”

His body softens slightly on the warm table. 

“I’m going to apply some oil to your shoulders and back, now. I might touch your neck, too.” 

With that, your hands meet his skin. They’re warm, slick with oil, soft like you wrap them in cotton wool every night. There’s a slight pressure that presses through your fingertips as you rub his shoulders. You follow the planes of his muscles, easing down his back, tracing the flesh with that pressure that’s just on the edge of being too much. Bucky lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. 

“Good,” you murmur, as if somehow noticing. With that, your hands are returning to his shoulders. Your palms press into the flesh, feeling out the muscle, seeking out the areas of tension. It seems you’re exploring, almost. Familiarising yourself with his body and his skeleton. It isn’t creepy or intrusive. It’s almost scientific. Methodical in the way an architect might survey the land before designing a building, or a painter contemplates their canvas before applying paint. When you finally make contact with his metal arm, it’s different. Of course it is: Bucky wasn’t expecting you to try and massage pure metal, as if you might soften it up. But you don’t shy away from it. Instead, you run your hands tenderly over the limb, fingers imitating the way they might press into the rest of his flesh and blood, palms expanding over the plates. The oil dampens the vibranium as if you’re blind to the inhuman appendage. Something drops out of his shoulders. It feels like one of the many rocks he carries has been taken away. 

“How’s the pressure?” you ask as you return to his back. 

“S’good,” Bucky murmurs. 

The sensation creeps up the back of his neck. The tips of your fingers tease at the wisps of hair at the nape of his neck. It’s dizzying, the way the massage of your hands can make him feel lighter. Bucky internally kicks himself for not trying this sooner. 

It isn’t a miracle cure. There’s a knot in his left shoulder where the scarring is that you work at, hands now lathered in lotion, which barely gives way. But with every precise push and prod at his body, he feels like a needle has been removed from a pin cushion. He feels like he’s floating on water’s surface. His body feels warm, liquid, and eased. Bucky lets out a sigh as you work at his back. Sinks deeper into the table like he’s melting. Just as promised, every time you do something different, you tell him. It helps him settle. Something in his mind is told to go off duty: we got it, we don’t need you right now. We’re safe. 

The hour is up too fast. The blanket is faithfully returned over his back, the hem lining his shoulders. You tell him that you’re going to wash your hands before doing so. Then you’re standing near his side. Bucky doesn’t want to open his eyes yet. He doesn’t want to step away from this pocket of peace he’s found, as if he’s stumbled blindly into the garden of Eden. 

“I’ll let you relax for a moment, and then if you want to return into your robe and meet me out in the seated lounge area when you’re ready: I’ll be outside.”

Bucky doesn’t reply. You open and close the door. The music isn’t as annoying as it was before. Bucky indulges in the nondescript instrumentation, lyricless but not without meaning. Reluctantly, he pushes up onto his forearms. The blanket slips down. He sighs and swings his legs off the side of the table. Climbing down, returning into his robe, he heads to the sink to retrieve his dog tags. Bucky takes a moment to check his reflection. Maybe it’s the essential oils seeping into his head, but he swears that he looks younger. He feels it. 

You’re sitting, one leg crossed over the other, staring out the window in the seated lounge. Bucky returns your smile when you turn to look at him. 

“How’re you feeling?” you ask. 

“Great, actually,” Bucky replies. He can’t help the slight amusement in his voice; he’s still bewildered that it did something. 

You’re not smug when you tell him, “I told you it does wonders.”

“Might have me drinking the Kool aid on that one,” Bucky smiles. He takes a seat to the left of you. 

“Can I get you a drink at all? Water?”

“I’m alright. Thank you, though.”

“My pleasure,” you say, rising to your feet. “Stay here as long as you like. There’s no rush to leave.”

“Thanks,” Bucky says, smiling. As you’re about to leave, something occurs to him to ask. “Hey, uh–”

You pause and look at him expectantly.

“What’s your name again, sorry? Don’t think I caught it earlier.”

It rolls off your tongue easily and rattles in Bucky’s head. He echos it quietly and you seem to stare at him a moment. Bucky feels himself smile at you - a real smile. You smile back, somehow different from before, before leaving him alone in the lounge. Bucky sighs and relaxes in the chair. He can’t seem to shake the shadow of a smile on his face because for the first time since he was a dumb kid running amuck in Brooklyn, he feels like himself. He feels connected, his mind no longer lost in his skull, his body no longer a stranger to his soul. He feels present, lighter, rejuvenated. It’s like a drug. Now that he’s had a hit, he simply needs more. Cannabis doesn’t seem to touch him but this just might take its place. 

That was how it came to be that Bucky was a regular at the Serenity Spa. 

He went once a month, then twice, and now it was abnormal if he wasn’t there almost three times. There were membership perks which exceeded just the free welcome coffee. Turns out, there was a cafe too. They served brunch and sandwiches and Bucky got them for free. Drinks, too. Beers and whiskeys and wines. The other members became familiar faces. Barbara and Lucy were unlikely friends with Bucky. They pulled him into their gossip, quizzed him on a “man’s opinion” regarding Barbara’s lost-cause for a son. Some of the things he’d been told made Bucky feel like he wasn’t half bad in comparison (I mean, come on Darren, knocking up your wife’s sister is a step too far…). Lucy grilled Bucky relentlessly about his dating life. He knew why: he’d overheard them talking about how great he’d been for Barbara’s granddaughter - her ‘darl’ as she was known - more times than he could count. They’d questioned about his arm politely once in the hot tub. Bucky gave the shorter story - that he lost it in action and was lucky enough to get such an advanced replacement - and they seemed content. Apologetic and sympathetic in the way that most people are when they hear a snippet of Bucky’s life story, but not intrusive. Nothing seemed to jog their memory of former Captain America’s best friend. Perhaps it helped that he went by James at the spa, sporting it like some kind of alter ego. But he liked the separation. Nobody asked him about work, or about congress, or about how he was ‘holding up’. No, at the spa he was just James: a run of the mill guy who people likely presumed worked in finance or some other boring business career, with a barren love life and too much time spent in the gym. 

But the real draw that kept him going - the nicotine to his cigarettes - was you. 

Ever since his first time at the spa, you’d been his masseuse. He requested it so frequently that it wasn’t even a question anymore. The two of you had built a rapport of sorts. The conversations had expanded from outside of the start and end of the sessions. Bucky would ask you things whilst you massaged him. Silly, trivial things that he’d been wondering about on the drive back to the city, like what music you listened to, or what your favourite type of food was, or a show you’d been watching lately. He asked about how you got into massage-therapy and how long you’d lived in New York. Over three months, Bucky liked to think that the two of you were something akin to friends. Bucky didn’t request you as his therapist because you were pretty: he did it because he enjoyed your company and your talents. 

And, yes, okay, maybe because you were pretty too. 

It was your voice. He’s sure that’s what did it. You’d wormed your way into his ear drums and burrowed into the depths of his mind. He’d hear your crooning timbre in his sleep, which was increasingly less disturbed than before. He’d ask questions not just because he was interested but as an excuse to hear you speak. He’d bathe in the words, in the way vowels would fall off your tongue like dew drops on flower petals. How consonants were these melodic intricacies when they came out of your pretty mouth. 

Then it was your smile. It put all others to shame. Made Bucky wish that nobody else bothered with it, because they could never make it look quite as perfect and beguiling as you did. He’d started making jokes just to see it blossom into a grin. 

Then it was your lips. The way they’d uplift with your cheeriness, how they’d move when you’d speak, the way your tongue would dip over them sometimes, dampening them with your saliva like makeshift gloss, a gloss which Bucky wondered the taste of, the feel of…

But it was mostly the massages. That was the main draw. 

The massages, and the free drinks and food. 

The changes that the regular spa visits had brought in Bucky hadn’t gone unnoticed. Sam was perceptive of the tiniest things. He could tell if a single chocolate chip cookie had been stolen from a pack of fifty. So it shouldn’t have come as a shock when he told Bucky, one random Tuesday:

“You’re different.”

Bucky was visiting him at his “headquarters” (a rented out unit filled with training equipment and computers, tracking leads on the wall with pictures and string). He’d been in the area whilst campaigning for this congressman role he’d been chipping away at and thought he ought to stop by.

“Seem happy.”

“I’m gonna try not to be offended at that,” Bucky replied. At Sam’s quirked brow, he added, “you’re implying I’m usually not happy.”

“Just stating facts, robocop,” Sam smirked. He smacked him on the arm as he walked past, over to the coffee machine. “What’s your secret? Hard drugs?”

“Just trying some things out,” Bucky replied, shrugging. He surveyed the room, leisurely taking a lap. Photographs were framed and lined the shelves. One of him and Sam caught his eye. It was taken at Coney Island - the first time Bucky had been back since before the war. 

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Just things,” Bucky murmured. He wondered if you’d ever been to Coney Island. 

“Things, huh?”

“Yeah.” Did you like rides? Or were you more of a games and stalls kind of girl?

“Sexy things?”

That caught his attention. Bucky frowned, glancing over to his friend. He was wearing a shit-eating grin. The coffee machine whirred loudly as it brewed. “Sexy things?” he echoed, voice incredulous.

“You heard me,” Sam doubled down, wiggling his eyebrows. “You getting some? That mummified body of yours still got it?”

“You’re a child,” Bucky dryly replied. 

“So, no sex?”

Rolling his eyes, he wandered over to the coffee machine. He took the mug offered out to him. “Why’s that the first place your mind goes to?”

“Look, man, you’re a-hundred-and-ten: you ain’t dead,” Sam tells him. 

Chuckling shortly, Bucky shakes his head and takes a sip of his coffee. 

“A’right, so if it ain’t a girl, what is it?”

Bucky weighed up in his mind whether or not to divulge his secret. He’d managed to keep it under wraps for three months now. Sharing it felt like showing someone a page of your old journals: slightly embarrassing but not completely mortifying. He contemplated whether he was ready to let someone else in on his oasis. 

“If I tell you, you’re not allowed to laugh,” Bucky sighed. 

“I never laugh,” Sam shrugged. Bucky rolled his eyes mirthfully, shaking his head. 

“A'right. I’ve been getting massages.”

Sam’s quiet a moment. Bucky can see the cogs in his mind processing his words. It seems that ‘Bucky’ and ‘massages’ don’t quite mesh well together in his brain. “Massages? Like at a spa?”

“Yep,” Bucky affirms, taking another sip of his drink. 

“Well, that’s…something. How long you been going?”

“A few months.”

“I mean, I’d make fun but it’s worked wonders. Not gonna take a dig at something that’s made tinman get his groove back.”

“I don’t approve of any of these nicknames, by the way.”

“Where is this spa?” Sam asks, ignoring Bucky’s comment. 

“New York.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Gimme more than that, man. What’s it called?”

Bucky eyes him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Cause I wanna get a piece of this!” Sam loudly replies, as if it were obvious. “You got any idea how stressful it is being Captain America? I need’a lie back in a sauna and get my back all oiled up.”

In a strange flash of images, Bucky pictures you giving Sam a massage in the same way you do him. Something green flares in his stomach.  

“You’re not going to my spa.”

“The hell I’m not. I’m a Captain now. I outrank you.”

Bucky quirked a brow. “I’m your senior. I outrank you.”

“You’re a senior to everything except trees and building so that don’t count. It’s moot.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is,” Sam argues. He tosses up a hand before Bucky can bicker his side. “Look, I’ll find out one way or another, so you might as well tell me. Maybe we can have a day there together. Our first bromance trip.”

Nothing has ever sounded more unappealing to Bucky. 

And yet he somehow finds himself standing side by side with Sam Wilson in the Serenity Spa reception. 

“Morning, Lily,” Bucky smiles at the receptionist: Mrs Wonderul, he’d labelled her in his head. 

“Morning, James,” she returns, chipper as always. Her eyes move to Sam. 

“This is my friend, Sam. I think I got one of those extra guest passes?” Bucky checks. 

“Oh, absolutely. You’ve been stacking them up, in fact,” Lily tells him. Her manicured fingers click-clack on the keyboard as she types. “Are the two of you wanting treatments this afternoon?”

“Treatments, huh?” Sam asks, humour pitching his voice. “What’s that entail exactly?”

“Massages, facials, that sort of thing,” Lily politely explains. Sam bobs his head and glances to Bucky, shrugging. 

“I’m game if you are.”

“Sure,” Bucky agrees. 

“Wonderful,” she chirps, typing away. “I have two slots at two-thirty?”

“Sounds good.”

“James, I’ll put you with your usual therapist. Sam, do you have a preference?”

“Whose his usual therapist?” Sam wonders, pointing to the stoic man beside him. Bucky grinds his teeth. Before Lily can reply, the door tucked in the corner, behind the reception desk, opens. You come walking through, focus on the clipboard in front of you. Your brows are furrowed together. 

“Lily, do you know where Matthew put the order of lavender oil? I’ve looked everywhere in the back,” you grumble. 

Lily glances over her shoulder at you and shrugs. “Who knows. He always put things in the weirdest places.”

“Almost like there’s a system in place to try and stop that from happening,” you mutter with a roll of your eyes. You look up at her but your eyes catch Bucky and Sam. The smile that jumps onto your face has Bucky selfishly thinking he has something to do with it. “James. You’re back.”

Bucky gives a closed lip smile back, nodding. His skin burns from the side-eye Sam gives him. Suddenly, his hand is extending out and over the counter, towards you. 

“I’m Sam. A friend of James,” he introduces. His smile is nothing short of charming. Bucky’s teeth crunch together so hard he’s amazed they don’t shatter; he somehow holds back his eye roll. You hesitate for a moment before taking his hand and shaking it, smiling cordially. 

“Nice to meet you,” you reply, introducing yourself. Then, snaking your hand away, your attention turns to Bucky. “I didn’t know you were coming in today. Usually see you on a Friday.”

He can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips when you regard him. He shrugs, hands slipping into his jean pockets. You flip one of the pages back into place on the clipboard and give them both a nod farewell. 

“I better get upstairs. See you later, hopefully,” you say as you walk out from the reception, towards the staircase. Lily excuses herself and follows you, seemingly needing to grab you for something. In the brief privacy given to them, Sam gives Bucky the widest grin he’s ever seen on his smug face. They speak in low voices. 

“So it is a girl.”

“Shut up.”

“She’s cute.”

“I mean it Sam.”

“You should swoop on that.”

Bucky’s head turns so he can meet his gaze dead-on. Sam gives a subtle nod and Bucky sighs, shaking his head, focus returning to the reception. “Drop it, Sam.” Lily wanders over again. 

“Sorry about that,” she says, taking place before the computer. She clicks around for some minutes, gathers a few more bits of information to complete the booking, and she’s handing over a key to Sam. Bucky doesn’t need one anymore; he has a claimed locker now. The two of them change and head into the spa amenities. As they pass through the doorway, the humid air sticking to their skin, Sam can’t seem to keep it in any longer. 

“She’s into you, man.”

“She’s doing her job,” Bucky sighs, leading them to the steam room. All the sly looks and grilling from Sam have his tension creeping up by the minute. “She’s paid to be nice to people.”

“Maybe,” Sam shrugs. “She wasn’t just being nice to you, though. I saw the way her eyes were looking. She’s got a thing for Freaky Magoo.”

“I’ll push you in the pool. Don’t tempt me,” Bucky warns. Sam chuckles and shakes his head. He seems to drop it with that. As his hand lands on the handle for the steam room, someone is calling his name. The two of them turn to lay eyes on Barbara and Lucy. 

“James!” Barbara grins. “Not like you to be here on a Wednesday.”

“One off,” Bucky shrugs. He gestures to his right, to Sam. “Brought a pal along.”

“Good God,” Lucy murmurs underbreath. Her eyes shamelessly rake up and down his body. Barbara rolls her eyes and elbows her. 

“Keep it in your swimsuit, Luc,” she chastises. 

“Nice to meet you, ladies. You know Tin Man, here?”

“He’s lovely,” Lucy tells him. “We’ve been nagging for him to settle down already. God, we know plenty of nice girls who would want him.”

Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Funny you should say that,” Sam starts, “there was a certain masseuse at reception that seemed pretty interested.”

Barbara’s face lights up like a city in Christmas. She claps her hands together, brimming with excitement. “I wonder if it was my darl!”

At Sam’s visible confusion, Lucy adds, “Barb’s granddaughter works here. We’ve been trying to set him up but he refuses.”

“Some boundaries I won’t cross, Barb,” Bucky tells her. 

As much as he appreciated Barbara and Lucy’s concern for his loneliness, Bucky didn’t need hands piecing his love-life together for him. Back in the thirties, even though he was somewhat of a play-boy, he knew that if the right girl came around, he’d settle down. The house and two-point-five kids had always appealed to him. Mundane routines in the morning, taking the kids to school, spending nights at the dining table with his wife and little ones: he wanted it all. But when the war came, that image had been put on the shelf. With every new chapter of his life that followed, it got pushed further and further back. Now it feels almost out of reach. 

Whilst he’d recovered a lot since being pardoned by the government, there were still chunks of him which he couldn’t figure out where to put. Things that different versions of him wanted now sat around like mismatching puzzle pieces. A relationship was one of those things. He wasn’t sure if anybody would ever want him, and even if they did, he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Flirting was still rather daunting. Dating was a foreign language now. The date which he shared with Leah was like pulling teeth. He had no idea what to say, how to act, how to be. He felt like a child walking around in a pair of their parent's shoes, two sizes too big. If Bucky was going to date anybody, it would be on his terms. He would choose when and how and who. 

Sam thankfully manages to keep his thoughts about you to himself as they pass their time in the sauna and steam room. Lucy and Barbara are happy to converse, passing stories and sharing advice, and Bucky feels the tension that he’d gathered from the week spent filling out forms and approving various campaign materials roll off his shoulders with the steam and sweat. However, the pocket of peace he’d found is nothing more than an illusion the second they’re entering the reception for their appointments. 

“You gonna make a move, then?”

“Oh, good. You’re not past it,” Bucky sarcastically mutters. He doesn’t look at Sam, instead watching the fish. Before Sam can open his mouth again, an employee is approaching them. She has that peaceful serenity masking her face like most employees at the spa did. She greets them and requests they follow her upstairs. Apparently you’re just finishing up one of your appointments, and Sam’s therapist should be ready in a couple of minutes. They’re guided to take a seat in the lounge. 

“This place is pretty fancy, huh?” Sam comments. He surveys the lounge and nods approvingly. “I see the appeal, man. I do. Those ladies downstairs were sweet too.”

“Yeah, they’re a good crowd,” Bucky agrees, relaxing now that you’re no longer Sam’s current topic of conversation. “Barbara’s always telling us about her son, Darren. Sounds like a real piece of work.”

“Oh, really? How so?” 

Bucky lips move as if to speak, but something makes him stop. Sam raises a brow, waiting. Bucky’s brows tug together. His ears catch onto something, a conversation. Words muffled through walls and doors. 

“What? What is it?”

Bucky raises a hand and Sam obeys the silent request. Tilting his head slightly, he focuses and tries to listen into the conversation.

‘Come on,’ a guy is saying, ‘You know you want it…’

‘Please stop,’ a woman whimpers. 

No, not a woman. 

You. 

Like a reflex, Bucky is on his feet. He strides through the corridor and shoves his weight against the door. It swings open, whining loudly on its hinges. He knows Sam is on his tail, quick to follow. Bucky’s eyes zero in on you. Your back is pressed against the far wall. Standing in front of you is a man, shirtless; his hands on your waist. It’s red. That’s all Bucky sees. He clears the distance, grabs the man by the back of his neck. His metal arm whirs as he yanks him away. The man gasps out, shocked, scared. Bucky grunts as he tosses him against the massage table. His fingers fasten around his throat, pressing into his neck - enough to bring discomfort, not enough to do any real damage. 

He’s seething. Mind a flurry of rage; thoughts jaggered pieces of glass. 

“I got him, man,” Sam tells him. He places a hand on Bucky’s metal arm, a quiet mark to surrender. The man stares up at Bucky, eyes wide. There’s a flash of fear Bucky recognises like an old favourite song. The realisation that this might be how he dies. Bucky lets go. The man takes a gasping breath in, as if Bucky had truly been strangling him. Bucky takes a step back and lets Sam step in. He grabs the man by the biceps, muttering “move it”, and watches Sam escort him out of the room. 

He lets out a sharp exhale through the nose; jaw a wire trap. He turns, looks over his shoulder. You’re still standing where you were. His expression softens. You’re shaking, hands cupped close to your heart, eyes wide, wet with unshed tears. They’re staring at the doorway, where Sam’s just shown the former client out. When Bucky takes a step towards you, your gaze darts to him. He reaches a hand out, not quite touching your arm. 

“You okay?”

You swallow. Your head starts to shake ‘no’. His fingers shadow your skin, touch barely there. 

“C’mon. Sit down,” he gently tells you. You let him guide you to the chair that Bucky’s grown used to sitting in. Your leg jitters as you sit, hands wringing together in your lap. “What happened?”

“I don’t know…I…” You shake your head and swallow, licking your dry lips. “One second I’m washing my hands and the next…”

The breath in your body starts to catch. Bucky knows the signs of a panic attack approaching all too well. He places a hand on your knee, the jitters ceasing. 

“S’alright. Just focus on breathing, yeah?”

You nod. Take a deep measured breath in through the nose and another through the mouth. Your head hangs, eyes slipped shut, and you continue practising slow, steady breathing for a couple more minutes. You do it until the shaking stops. Until you open your eyes and find his. He gives you a reassuring smile. You try to return it. It’s wobbly, still rattled, but there nonetheless. 

“Where is he?”

“Sam took him outside,” Bucky replies. 

“You don’t have to be here,” you apologise. “You’re a customer. You should go back out, enjoy your time.”

“Nowhere I’d rather be than here,” is his sincere reply. Your eyes lock onto his. The smile on your face strengthens. 

“Thank you,” you quietly say. “For stepping in like that.”

“Course.”

“I had a gut feeling about him when he walked in,” you confess, glancing over his shoulder to the massage table. A shiver runs down your spine at the memory. “He gave me the creeps.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says. “Shouldn’t have to deal with that kinda thing.”

A gentle knock at the door catches both of your attention. Bucky removes his hand from your knee. It’s Sam, and behind him is Barbara. Sam gives him a nod, confirming that the asshole who thought he could put his hands wherever he wanted was gone. Then, Barbara’s pushing past him and making her way over to you. 

“Oh my God, we heard what happened,” she says, voice thick with sympathy. Bucky makes space for you to stand. Barbara tosses her arms around you, pulling you into an embrace, and you hug her back. Your face rests in the dip of her shoulder. “Are you okay, darl?”

Darl. 

“Yeah, grams. I’m okay,” you murmur. 

“Oh thank God these two were here,” she breathes, relieved. “Lily said that that awful man won’t be coming back. They can call the cops if he does.”

“That’s good.” 

You pull away from her, an arm still hooked around her back, and smile appreciatively. Looking over her shoulder, you nod and thank Sam too. “Don’t mention it,” he says, “just glad we could help.”

“You should go home,” Barbara tells you. You shake your head, stepping away from her. 

“No, no, I can’t,” you say, “I’ve got two more clients this afternoon.”

“Darling, you’re all shaken up. You need to go home and rest,” your grandmother insists. 

“I can’t, grams,” you sigh, exasperated. You brush a hand through your hair. “The trains are on strike today. The next one to Brooklyn isn’t until five, at least.”

“I can give you a ride home.” Bucky’s not completely certain he’s the one who spoke until everyone’s looking at him. He shrugs. “It’s no problem, really.”

“I live all the way in Brooklyn, I couldn’t possibly ask you to drive that far,” you tell him. 

“Not an issue. I live in Brooklyn too,” he assures. 

“That would be helping us out a lot,” Barbara says gratefully. But you’re still shaking your head. Guilt shadows your eyes as you step towards him. 

“Are you sure? I’d hate to put you out like that.”

Bucky nods, smiling at you. “Your grandma’s right. Things like that shake you. You need to get home, relax. I’m more than happy to drive; it’s totally up to you.”

With that reassurance, you only take a few moments to consider his offer before you’re nodding. Looking back to Barbara, you tell her that you’ll need to let Lily know, and your manager. She agrees. A plan is made and soon enough, Bucky’s waiting for you down at reception, bag in hand. The door to the staff quarters opens and there you are, dressed in jeans and a jumper, work attire packed away in the bag that’s slung over your shoulder. It seems you’ve calmed a little since the incident. There’s a playful charm to your voice as you tell him, “last chance to back out.”

Bucky chuckles. He nods his head to the doorway. The two of you head out. It’s bizarre, having you walk out with him. It feels like stepping out of a store with the employee. As you pass the threshold of the doorway to the spa, it feels like you’re walking into a new territory in the bond the two of you share. The strange relationship that doesn’t quite qualify as friendship, but surpasses something purely professional. The label of masseuse falls away: instead, you’re just you. 

“This one’s mine,” Bucky off-handedly says, unlocking a black hatchback. He pops the trunk and gestures for you to put your bag in; you do so, slotting it beside his. It smells of fresh linen thanks to the air freshener as the two of you climb in. When the door shuts, you let out a small sigh. 

“You sure about this? I don’t want you to feel like you have to give me a ride back just because.”

“I offered, for one thing,” Bucky chuckles, turning on the engine. He glances over to you, smiling. “And it’s up to you whether to take me up on it or not. If you wanna head back and stay at work, then do. But don’t turn down a ride just to be polite.”

You cock a brow, smirking. “Pretty good speech there.”

Laughing, he shakes his head. Your answer is the click of your seatbelt into place. Bucky pulls out of the parking lot and starts the route back to Brooklyn. The playlist he was listening to on the drive to the spa kicks up again, the gravelly voice of Elvis seeping through the speakers. 

“Elvis fan, huh?”

“Undecided,” he replies. “Only just started listening to him.”

“He’s alright,” you shrug. “Questionable history though. Did you know he met his wife when she was fourteen?”

“That’s kinda sweet,” Bucky murmurs. High school sweethearts were a rarity but a nice tale when they occurred. 

“He was twenty-four.”

“Ah,” his tongue clicks. “Less sweet.”

“Much.”

“Mm,” he nods. 

“Y’know who is good?” you ask, rhetorically it seems, as you answer, “Lionel Richie.”

“Never heard of him.”

“You’re kidding,” you gasp. The pure astonishment in your voice has him laughing. “He’s basically the definition of romance.”

“Queue him up, if you like,” he says, gesturing to the touch screen of the radio. You gladly take him up on the offer. Your fingernail taps the screen as you type, and then the song is cutting off and switching. A low bass riff vibrates the car. Humming contently, you relax back into your seat. A saxophone joins, a long, sensual melody that sounds like velvet. Lionel Richie, Bucky assumes, begins to sing. You sing along quietly, under breath, as if it’s a secret. His lips twitch. 

“Nice, right?”

“Yeah. I like it,” Bucky agrees. The music washes over him like a warm shower; picking pebbles off his shoulders. “He marry a fourteen-year-old too?”

The giggle you let out has him smiling to himself. It’s like gold dust, making you laugh. “No, but I think he maybe beat his wife.”

“God damn,” Bucky mutters, shaking his head. 

The ride stretches on. Trees and fields lining the highway merge into the cityscape. The sun sits low in the sky. It casts the world in an enchanting amber tinge, like lining around buildings. The blue sky has clouds shaded pink. His eyes flit to you. You’re leaning against the door of the car, content, watching the world roll by. Whilst Bucky would have preferred different circumstances to have the excuse to drive you home, he’s still grateful to have the privilege of being in your presence. You remind him of the first long day after winter, when the sun stretches on for hours, and the world feels brighter, awake, lifted free from a veil of darkness. 

As you cross into the city, you start to give Bucky directions to your building. 

“Just this one, on the right.”

He slows the car down, pulling up beside the pavement. The rumble of the engine quiets as he turns the key. You purse your lips, clear your throat. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you say. 

Bucky nods. “You’re welcome.”

You unclick your seatbelt. He does the same. Turning in your seat, you face him. His eyes scan over your face, searching for some remnant of distress from before. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am. Just need a nice shower and some sleep, I think,” you reply. Your smile dims, eyes downcast to your fidgeting fingers. “Just feel kinda stupid.”

“How so?” Bucky frowns. 

“I just froze up. Didn’t do anything, just stood there,” you sigh. Your eyes nervously glance back up to his. Bucky shakes his head. 

“S’normal reaction. People always talk about fight or flight, but they never talk about freeze. You weren’t prepared for that kinda situation. And why should you be? You’re just tryn’a do your job. He’s the one who should be embarrassed. Ashamed, even.”

You nod, reluctantly agreeing. Women have a tendency to place the blame on themselves; society’s made it that way. You shouldering the situation that another man put you in doesn’t sit right with Bucky. He’ll be damned if you feel embarrassed for how you acted. 

“Guess you just made it look so easy. Coming in and grabbing him like that.”

Bucky shrugs. His eyes lower down to his metal hand. He flexes his fingers and watches how the intricate plates glide into place. He was fight. Always had been, since he was a kid. He sort of had to be, what with Steve Rogers being his best friend. That punk could find a fight with anyone, anywhere, always trying to do the right thing. Shame his bark didn’t always match his bite. 

“Suppose it helps having Captain America there, too.”

Bucky’s eyes darted up to yours. His organs fall through him: heart in his stomach; stomach in his feet. He swallows the bile scratching at his throat. You’re watching him, a patient smile on your face, brows slanted as if preparing for his reaction. Sympathetic, perhaps. Understanding. He wants to ask but can’t seem to find the words. His body contorts within itself; his intestines tangle into his guts. He feels sick. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t fight, because right now, Bucky can’t think of anything better than running. 

“I know who you are too, Bucky.” 

The words are hardly louder than a whisper. But from the way they shatter Bucky’s world, you might as well have yelled. 

He can’t seem to look away from you. It’s as if he’s waiting for you to say something. Do something. Berate him. Insult him. Accuse him of lying to you. Rebuke him for deceiving you. Bucky waits for the loathing to come. For it to twist your beautiful face, narrow your gaze, curl your lips. But instead, you just sit. 

A hand slowly reaches across the centre console. Your fingers steadily come to rest atop of his metal hand. It’s enough to help Bucky speak. 

“How long have you known?” he croaks. 

“The moment I met you,” you confess. Bucky’s not sure which answer he would have preferred. “Not many war vets who go by the name ‘James Barnes’ with a metal arm. Then grandma started talking and I pieced it all together by the end of the first day. Seeing Sam today just made me know I was right.”

“You never said.”

You shake your head. “I didn’t want to freak you out, or make you uncomfortable. I got the sense that it’s an escape for you there, and I didn’t want to take that away from you. ‘Sides, not like it matters.”

“Can’t say that,” Bucky mutters, shaking his head. His eyes gaze out the windscreen. There’s a pigeon in the centre of the road, fighting for a piece of stale bread with another. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“I know enough to know you’re a good person.”

Bucky’s eyes slip shut like hearing the words are physically painful. Your fingers squeeze his hand. There’s no give under metal. Nothing but cold, hard ice. His eyes eventually open but he can’t bring himself to meet your gaze. His head is still wrapping around everything, grasping at the fact that you know who is and yet here you are, willingly sitting beside him, telling him that he’s good. There’s something about hearing you say it that makes Bucky want to believe it might be true. His silence stretches for miles as he thinks. It builds and builds until it seems to suffocate you. 

“I’ve freaked you out, haven’t I?”

He looks over to you. You pull your hand away, pressing it against your lips with the other, and you curse yourself quietly. Squeezing your eyes shut, you shake your head. 

“I knew it. I freaked you out. Can’t keep my big mouth shut.” Bucky’s brows twitch together. You look out the window, wringing your hands in your lap. “God, here you are coming to a spa to get some peace, and then you have to save some random girl from a creep, give her a drive home to be nice and she completely invades your privacy all because she has a stupid crush on you, like I’m twelve years old again or something.”

His stomach clenches. You’re looking at him now, eyes wide with apology. 

“Just forget I said anything,” you almost beg. “I promise I’ll never bring it up again. Okay?”

Bucky doesn’t move but you seem to take his silence as confirmation. You climb out the car like it’s on fire and speed walk up to your apartment building. Everything you said came out so fast, he thinks he might have whiplash. It takes a couple of seconds for his mind to catch up, and for Bucky to get out of the car and follow you. He’s quick as he grabs your bag from the trunk. It seems you’ve realised in that moment that your keys are in your bag, still safely in the back of his car. As you go to retrieve it, you gasp, stopping as you come face-to-face with Bucky. Before you can continue your self-deprecating rampage, Bucky drops the bag by his feet and speaks. 

“I get three massages a month. Three. You know why that is?”

You stare at him for a long moment before answering, “because it helps you sleep?”

Bucky’s lips twitch with a smile. “Yeah, it does. But that’s not the only reason.” He takes a step closer. “I needed an excuse to see you.”

Something flickers in your eyes. Bucky takes another step closer. “I wanted to say something but I didn’t know if I should. You’re just doing your job. Last thing you need is some one-hundred-year-old creep telling you he thinks you’re pretty.”

There’s a flicker of a smile.

“Can you tell the time?” you ask him. His confusion must be obvious. You laugh: short, small, secretive. “I always give you an extra fifteen minutes because I don’t like it when you leave. You’re my favourite part of the day.”

A weight falls off Bucky’s shoulders. He can’t look away from you, bewitched like staring at a supernova. He could spend his life trying to describe you and he’d never have enough words. Time would give out before he could finish trying to fathom how you make him feel. Bucky thinks back to earlier, with Sam and Barbara and Lucy. Somehow, it feels like a lifetime ago. The inner-battle he’d had returns to him: loneliness in one hand, and chance in another. He contemplates. He decides. 

“Can I take you out?”

You’re still for a second, then you nod. The smile grows bit by bit like drops of water in a bucket. “Yeah,” you tell him. “I’d really like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Dinner, maybe? Next Saturday? I’d say tomorrow but I’ve got this stupid meeting I gotta go too–”

“--next Saturday is perfect,” you interrupt, like you can’t hold the words in. Your hand takes his and you give a gentle squeeze. The tips of your fingers are cold. “I can give you my number and we can work something out?”

Bucky nods. His smile teetering on a grin. He reluctantly withdraws his hand to retrieve his phone. There’s a flush to his cheeks, a nervous smile on his face, as he hands over the outdated flip phone. You don’t comment. Instead, you take it and type in your number. A few seconds later, your phone buzzes with a message that presumably you’ve sent. You hand him back his phone. He passes over your bag.

“Perfect,” Bucky says, giving the device a small shake before putting it back in his pocket. He takes a step down the staircase. You take a step towards the door to your building. “I’ll text you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Those three words are the only thing in Bucky’s head the drive back to his apartment. When he walks into his empty place, his hands find his phone. Your contact name has him smiling like he’s eighty years younger. There’s one text message attached, the one you sent to yourself earlier despite being addressed for him: I’m free next Saturday. 

The mint in Bucky’s mouth crunches against his teeth. It’s nice to have something to do. A distraction, like fiddling with a piece of string, as he waits at a table for two in an Italian restaurant you’d passingly said you’d like to try. It’s overtly romantic: cream silk table cloths; vases with single stemmed roses; candles flickering in the centre of the table. Jazz music purrs out the speakers. Waiters and waitresses dressed in pressed black pants and skirts and white button-up shirts, an apron tied neatly with a bow around their waist. Bucky takes another sip of his table water. He’s nervous, the same way he was the first day of his therapy session and his first time at the spa. It feels as though there’s a sign above him glowing with the words ‘DOESN’T BELONG HERE’, and a fluorescent arrow pointing down at his head. He swipes a hand over his beard. He’d trimmed it specifically for tonight. His hair had been combed probably one too many times. He’d flossed and eaten five mints so far as a nice pre-dinner appetiser. The deep blue suit jacket suddenly feels like it might be too formal, and with that the whole date feels like it might be too much. He doesn’t want to freak you out. Scare you off. He looks to his left with a busy mind and scans the bar. 

“This seat taken?”

His head whips round to spot you standing beside the chair, a hand delicately placed atop of it. With your smile, Bucky feels his tension slip away with his breath. You look beautiful. Slightly unrecognisable in a dress that moved like summer rain; make-up enhancing your already gorgeous features; hair loose and free. He smiles. “It is now.”

You take the invitation and tuck yourself in. “Been waiting long?”

“Just a couple hours,” Bucky shrugs. Your eyes widen and he chuckles. “I’m messing with you. I got here ten minutes early, don’t worry.”

“Damn you, Barnes,” you murmur, smile telling of your humour. Your fingers open the menu placed before you. “I’ve been wanting to come here forever. Walk past it all the time.”

“I know,” Bucky says, opening his own menu. “You told me so, about a month ago.”

Your eyes dart over the table to him. “You remember that?”

He shrugs, trying to play it cool. “Course.”

A bottle of wine is ordered and the two of you toast to good health before taking a sip. Your lipstick leaves a stain on the edge of the glass. A strand of hair slips free from behind your ear and dangles by your cheek, head hung as you prop yourself up on your fist, reading the menu. Bucky can’t help but admire you. Gracefully, you tuck it back into place and hum in thought. 

“You look beautiful,” he tells you. You glance up at him, stunned, and then you smile. 

“Thanks.” There’s a flush to your face. Bucky bites back his idiotic smile. “So do you. Handsome.”

His heart twists. God damn it. “Thanks. Trimmed my beard,” he hears himself reply, stroking the coarse hairs of his jaw. 

“I noticed. It looks good,” you say. You're casual as you look back down to the menu, adding, “I like a man with a beard.”

Bucky makes a mental note: never shave beard. 

It’s awkward at first. This area of the relationship feels like picketed grass which has been previously forbidden. The compliments Bucky would silently relay to you in his head can now be spoken. They come clunky at first, but easier after the first few are shared. His eyes linger longer, his smile holding a new edge. There’s no need to be coy anymore and tiptoe around things. Once that’s acknowledged, the two of you sink into the date as if it’s your third rather than your first. You order the ravioli and him the lemon and herb salmon. You tell him a story from work the other day and he tells you one from a plane ride he had to Washington for a campaign fundraiser. The drinks flow, the food comes and goes. You offer him a bite of your pasta off the fork. As the empty bowls and plates are taken by the waiter, Bucky wonders what had him so nervous. 

“I still can’t believe you never put two and two together about me and granny Barbs,” you giggle. Your finger toys with the rim of your wine glass. 

“In my defense, it’s not like you’re the spitting image.”

You laugh, head titling backwards like a little kid, and Bucky grins. He likes the fact that he can make you laugh. There was a time when he was sure he’d never be able to tell a joke again, or get a girl to swoon, and yet here he was. 

“Still. Surely she talks about all the family gossip with you and Lucy,” you say. 

“Not about you. I’ve gotten my fair share about Darren, though.” Your lips press together, smiling still, but smaller. Bucky treads carefully as he asks, “if you’re Barbara’s granddaughter, then that makes Darren your…uncle?”

A solemn shadow casts over your pretty face. “Darren’s my dad.”

Bucky nods his head slowly, visibly surprised, lips parting. “Ah. He certainly seems…”

You save Bucky from fumbling with something kind to say, laughing sadly as you joke, “like a Freudian nightmare? Trust me, I’m aware.”

“Yeah. I haven’t heard great things,” Bucky says apologetically. 

You shake your head and sigh. Your gaze drifts down to your wine glass and once more, you trace your finger around the circular rim, following it with your eyes. “I love my dad in the way that every daughter loves their dad. Y’know, in an innate kinda way? But I don’t like him. In fact, I can’t stand the guy. I haven’t had a conversation with him in over a year.”

Bucky is quiet as he nods. Your eyes glance up to meet his. As always, your smile never leaves, it only changes. It’s small, sad, heavy with the disappointment of a girl who once admired her father, only to realise the pedestal was made of sand. 

“And your mom’s still with him?” he broaches. 

You scoff, sighing. “Yep. She refuses to leave. She’s sick. Has been for a long time now. She says she doesn’t want her last years to be wasted with divorce. I don’t know - I’d rather that than spend my time with a dirtbag who swoops on anything with a pulse, but that’s just me…”

You cut yourself off with another quiet laugh. “Sorry,” you say, picking up your glass of wine. “Not exactly a wonderful first date topic, huh? Offloading all my daddy issues.”

“You’re good, don’t worry,” Bucky reassures. You take a sip and hesitantly meet his gaze. He smiles, empathetic. “My dad was a piece of crap too, so.”

“Ah. Good to see some things span across the generations.”

Bucky laughs. It was typical of you to find the sunlight in a blackened room. You raise your half-empty wine glass in the air and Bucky takes the hint, grabbing his own. “To shitty fathers.”

“Cheers to that,” he chuckles, his glass clinking against your. You both take a sip: the rich red wine soaking onto his tongue. “I gotta ask - and I’m probably out of line so please tell me to shut up- but your grandma said something about your mom’s sister…?”

“Ah. That old chestnut,” you kid, voice void of any real humour. “Yeah. The baby showers in a couple weekend’s time. Granny wants me to go with her to have a ‘familiar face’ there. I can’t think of anything worse.”

Bucky shakes his head, disbelieving. It was one thing to know your dad was a creep and a cheating coward - it was another to wrap your head around the fact that what was going to be your niece was also your half-sister. Bucky had seen and heard some pretty messed up things in his lifetime, and this wasn’t far off. 

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to go to that,” Bucky tells you. 

You shrug and take another sip of your wine. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” There’s a twinkle in your eye as you return your glass to the table, attention switching to him. “Now tell me about how your dad was a piece of crap so I feel less of a disaster-first-date.”

Bucky laughs and nods, indulging. “Alright. You want the short version or the long?”

“Oh - I didn’t know there was a choice,” you hum, leaning forward on the table, chin propped atop of your closed fist. “Long version.”

“Alright then,” Bucky clicks his tongue. His mind journeys back to before the torment and the ice and the torture. It goes right back to before the war. He smiles as if he can picture his mother’s living room: like he can smell the embers of a burnout fire in the hearth. There his dad would sit, in the dusty armchair by the window, usually with a paper in hand. “I loved my dad. He was strong and stoic, y’know? The kinda guy you felt like you could go to in a crisis and he’d have it covered in a second.”

You nod. 

“He was drafted into the first war and everything changed. He changed. He was always quiet before but he became mean. Distant. Didn’t wanna talk, didn’t wanna listen. Didn’t care about anything, really. He started fighting with my mama over stupid things, things they wouldn’t have fought about before. He didn’t give a crap about me or Becca. Everything was just work to him, all of a sudden. Like being around us was like doing a chore.”

You nod once more, eyebrows slanting with sympathy. Bucky takes a breath, clears his throat; his finger strokes the base of his wine glass. 

“One day I come home from work and there he is, stood in the kitchen with a suitcase. He was waiting for me to get home, apparently, to make this big announcement. He was leaving.”

Your breath catches. Bucky shrugs, eyes slipping down to study the table cloth as he loses himself in the memory. It feels just as disorientating now as it did back then. Tired, hands aching from labour, mind fuzzy with exhaustion and confusion, staring at his dad dressed in his Sunday best. 

“Mom begged to know why. If there was another woman, maybe. But he didn’t give us anything. He just said he had to go. And that was it,” Bucky says, eyes meeting yours once more. “He was gone. Never saw him again.”

“Just like that?” you quietly wonder. 

He nods. “Just like that. Left my mom all alone without a dollar to her name, two kids. Then I got drafted when the second war came and I had to leave them both, and it–”

He cuts himself off with a sigh, losing nerve. Your hand reaches across the table, lying atop of his metal one. You squeeze gently.  Bucky wants to retract his hand and shrug it away like he did when it happened. But something makes him sit in the moment of vulnerability. It doesn’t feel as daunting when it’s you, especially with how you’re looking at him. Like you care. Like you understand. Instead, he envelopes his other palm atop of your hand and smiles at you. You smile back, reassuring, and he sighs once more. 

“It killed me, ‘cause after my dad left I promised myself that I’d never abandon the people I love like he did…And then I never came back.”

You begin to shake your head. “That’s different, Bucky.”

“How is it?” 

“You didn’t abandon them. You were taken from them.”

Bucky stares at you and you stare back. Your voice is firm and sweet like cookie batter. “Is there a difference?”

“Yes,” you say, “the main one being that one of them is a choice and the other isn’t. You didn’t choose to leave your family, the way they didn’t choose to lose you. Your dad, on the other hand, chose to.”

Bucky considers this a moment, turning it over in his mind. It’s a new perspective - a side to a shape that he’s never seen before. With that, something somewhat new occurs to him. “I think the war broke him. He just couldn’t handle it.”

“Maybe,” you hum. “But that’s not an excuse to leave in the way he did. Not to me.”

Nodding, Bucky’s eyes drift down to your interlocked hands. Another weight is slowly lifted off his shoulders, and once again, it’s thanks to you. Never before did he think he’d be unpicking traumas from before the war even began. But here you were, teasing him apart carefully like untangling a necklace chain. Bucky begins to smile. “Hell of a first date, huh?”

“I’ll say,” you grin. Then you squeeze his hand. “I’m glad you told me that.”

“I’m glad you told me about yours too,” Bucky replies sincerely. 

You shrug, a playful glimmer in your expression. “Barbara sort of beat me to it. Hard to be mysterious when you have a gossip for a gran.”

He laughs at that. The two of you sit in the lifted mood for a moment and a waiter comes over. He plants a dessert menu down in front of each of you, and Bucky reluctantly pulls his hand from yours. You thank the waiter as he leaves. Surveying the desserts, you make a joke about one of the cheesecake flavours, and that leads into another anecdote about the time you tried to make chocolate mousse, and the gravity of the prior conversation lifts away. Bucky watches you from across the table, dazzling in the candle light, dressed in an emerald green dress, smiling and giggling and chattering away as if you’d known Bucky all your life. You’re carefree around him and it makes him feel normal, like he’s the Bucky he was before everything happened. If he focuses just on you he can pretend it’s the forties: the world melts away and it’s just him and a pretty girl. 

Bucky insists on paying. You complain about it half the walk home, insisting that next time it’s on your dime. The only thing Bucky hears is the ‘next time’. You hold his hand, fingers intertwined with his gloved ones, and chatter. Questions are passed back and forth and Bucky’s happy to indulge. The hem of your dress sways with every step you take; heels clicking on the pavement. He wants the sidewalk to stretch on forever. But eventually, you get to your building. You unlock the door, push it open and turn to him. 

“You wanna come up for a nightcap?”

Bucky hesitates for only a second before agreeing with a “sure”. You smile and lead him. Three flights of stairs and Bucky’s walking into your apartment. You toe off your heels and weave through the hallway, talking as you go about your latest squabble with Barbara. 

“In the end we called it even. Better to do that then spend the rest of the week arguing…”

Bucky’s half listening. He glances around the small entryway as he slips off his shoes. Pictures hang on the walls. They’re all of you and your friends. There’s a motivational quote embroidered into a hoop that hangs against a door. A mirror fills up a small slither of wall. Bucky glances in it and checks himself. 

“You want coffee or tea?”

With that, he follows your route into a living area. It’s open plan, half sitting room, half kitchen. “You have tea?” 

“Course. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” you reply. 

“Coffee’s great, thanks,” Bucky tells you. You nod and open your fridge. 

“Take a seat wherever.”

“This is a nice place,” he comments, sinking down onto the sofa. It’s squishy, sucks him in like a marshmallow: a plethora of throw cushions keep him nicely propped. As you make coffee and reel off some random facts and price points for the place, Bucky takes it in. Books upon books, a few about mindfulness and massage therapy; an empty bottle of champagne from a seemingly notable occasion; ornaments which imitate landmarks - the Eiffel tower; Big Ben, the pyramids; a bouquet of flowers sits in a vase on a small dining table, just big enough to seat two. It’s warmly lit. A string of fairy lights slinks from one side of the room to the other. 

Bucky watches you walk over. You sit down beside him, curling one leg under you, and offer him one of the mugs. He thanks you and nurses it. The skirt of your dress rides up, just long enough to save modesty, and like a teenager realising girls exist for the first time, Bucky tries his best not to stare. 

“I had a really fun time tonight,” you tell him, taking a sip of your steaming mug. Bucky smiles. 

“Me too. I’m glad we did this.”

You shuffle a little in your seat. Propping an arm up on the back of the headrest, you lean your cheek against it and gaze at him. He chuckles. 

“What?”

“Just thinking…Wanna ask you something but don’t know if it’s exactly first-date appropriate,” you say. 

Bucky rolls his eyes mirthfully and takes a sip of his coffee. “Feel like we’ve known each other long enough to forget about those kinda rules.”

“In that case: when was the last date you went on?”

Bucky’s brows twitch up; he wasn’t expecting that question. He looks down towards his lap, watching how his metal thumb rubs the porcelain handle of the mug. “Uh…About a year ago. Maybe slightly longer.”

“Oh really? How was it?”

Internally cringing at the memory, Bucky chuckles quietly. He shakes his head. “Not so hot.”

“Oh,” you hum. “Well, that’s a shame.”

He shrugs and turns his head to look at you. You’re so laid back: sock clad feet wiggling restlessly. “Not really. Means I’m here right now with you.”

“Ooh,” you grin, nose crinkling. “Nice line.”

“I try,” he suavely returns. You chuckle. He smiles. The coffee is good. “What about you?”

“Three…No, four years ago.”

“Four?”

“Don’t have to sound so horrified,” you snort. Bucky laughs, apologising. 

“I’m just surprised. You’re gorgeous. Don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to take you out. Treat you nice.”

The fluster his words bring doesn’t go unnoticed. His ego triumphs. The smile on your face sinks into something more unshielded; as if peeling back some curtain. “Want the truth?”

Bucky nods. You sigh. “Most guys these days don’t know what they want. I’m not a one-night-kinda girl, and I need stability. An idea of where things are heading. That usually freaks people out. So it’s easier not to bother than to let myself get invested, only to wind up disappointed.”

He nods once more. You wash your words down with a sip of your coffee. “I get it,” Bucky tells you. “I tried the whole online dating scene. It’s a mess. Don’t know what I’m looking at half the time. And it feels like people can say anything on there without really meaning it.”

You hum in agreement, nodding, and meet his eyes again. Bucky’s flit down to your lips. They’re glossy from the lipstick you’d chosen, shimmering slightly in the twinkling fairy lights. He swallows. Then, he looks away, back down to the floor. 

“I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Bucky admits. “Dating, I mean. I don’t know what’s right and wrong. What’s old and what’s new. I mean, that date I went on, I brought her flowers. Pretty standard thing to do, back in my time, but she sort of laughed it off. Don’t think she meant any harm but still…Shakes a guy’s confidence, y’know?”

“I get it,” you say. He doesn’t look at you quite yet. In his peripheral, you lean down to place your mug gently on the wooden floor. “I’m always scared I’m too much. It’s like there’s this unspoken boundary you can’t cross and I never know where it is.”

Laughing under breath, agreeing, Bucky smiles smally to himself. “Yeah.”

“For the record,” something in your tone has him looking back up at you. The smile he’s met with is like the first day of Spring. It fills him with fresh air. “I love flowers. Don’t think I’d ever laugh at something like that.”

There’s a quick rush of adrenaline as Bucky sets his mind. He places his coffee mug quickly but carefully on the table to his left, and then, before he can lose his confidence, he’s reaching over to you and capturing your face in his hand. Leaning over, his lips find yours, and his eyes slip shut. Your breath catches, mouth parting with a split-second of surprise. Then your hand is reaching up to rest atop of his, and you press into his hold, and kiss him back. The feel of your right hand on his thigh has his body sparking to life like he’s been in hibernation. You lean your weight forward slightly, sighing against Bucky’s mouth, and he pulls away for a breath before kissing you again. Harder. Deeper. Fingertips run down along his forearm, up his shoulder, until they’re looping into his hair. You give a gentle tug and Bucky groans against your lips. You smile. He can feel it. He smiles too. 

“You’re so pretty,” you murmur into the kiss. Bucky’s teeth catch against your lower lip and you gasp. The breath that escapes you is shaky as he pulls just-so before letting go, kissing away the sting. Your fingers tighten in his locks. He smirks. It’s coming back to him; muscle memory, like dancing or riding a bike. Every little sound you make; every twitch of your fingers; every push and pull of your body: it drives him. Feeds him. He needs more, more, more. Somehow, you find yourself beneath him on your back. Bucky looms over you, propped up by his left arm, and he ventures further. Kisses the corner of your mouth, still shadowed with a smile. Kisses the cusp of your jaw. Suckles slightly at the tender skin of your neck, teeth scratching tauntingly at your jugular. 

“Bucky,” you sigh, head rocking backwards as if to present him with a fresh canvas.

He moans against your flesh. Your perfumed skin is pressed to his nose and it intoxicates him like liquor and turns him on like pheromones. His right hand sweeps down and along your figure. The forest green of your dress, silk and satin, bunches in his fingers as he squeezes your waist. Your chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. Bucky’s body is alight with a fire that’s laid dormant for years. Centuries. Blunt fingernails scratch at his scalp. But as his fingers feel the lace of your panties through the thin material of your dress, Bucky remembers where he is and what he’s doing. He eases off slightly. Peppers kisses until his lips find yours again. You pull him closer by the nape of his neck, tongue lapping salaciously into his mouth with a wanton moan. Bucky indulges for a moment before slowly pulling away. He opens his eyes to find you gazing up at him. Your pupils are blown wide like you’re stoned. Lips wet and swollen. You look fucking delicious. His hand parts from the side of your frame to come up to your face, swiping gently at your lower lip. You smile up at him. Bucky smiles back. He rubs his lips together and savours the taste of you. You somehow read his mind. It’s playful, understanding, as you whisper, “unspoken boundaries.”

He chuckles. “Plenty of time.”

“There better be,” you murmur, making him laugh harder. You plant one final peck to his lips. Bucky crawls off you and you sit back up, propping onto your arms. He reaches a hand on instinctively to help flatten some of your hair and you giggle, flustered. 

“Beautiful.”

The way you look at him is how any man would want to be looked at. As if there’s nothing else on the planet that will matter as much as he does. A twinge of nausea turns over in his stomach with dooming realisation. Like stepping off a cliff, Bucky was falling in love with you. Hard, fast, indomitably so. And the thing which seemed to terrify him the most was the fact that he wasn’t scared of it. Not even slightly. 

After the first date, Bucky had taken you on a second: drinks in a basement bar in Brooklyn, specialised in ‘surprise’ cocktails and craft beers. He’d brought you flowers. He’d walked you home and kissed you at the doorstep. He lingered and left. The third date was to a farmer’s market hosted in a city park. You’d wandered from stall to stall, hands intertwined with his, clad in a springtime jacket that made your skin seemingly glow under the daylight. It seemed you could spark up a conversation with anybody. Everything was interesting to you, from how beeswax soap was made to which cheese was the most challenging to produce. You’d drank coffee together whilst sat on an outdoor table outside of the New York City Library. He’d parted ways with you at the subway station, leaving you with a kiss, as you went to catch another train to work.  

Bucky still attended the spa. In the three weeks which followed the dinner date, Bucky had gone once for each. You were very professional, he had come to learn. Nothing more than a peck behind the closed door and another before he left, lingering if only slightly. But the massages remained the same. You followed routine, giving gentle heads-ups before placing your hands on his frame. Bucky didn’t need them much anymore. His trust in you shocked him to the core; it took nearly a year for Bucky to give a fraction of that level of trust to Sam. But he was certain that you could walk into the room with a knife and he’d think nothing of harm. 

“I’m just going to wash my hands,” you say, walking over to the sink. As you rinse them thoroughly under running water, Bucky props himself up onto his elbows. You walk over to him, standing at the head of the table to meet his gaze. “How you feeling?”

“Like a million dollars,” he says with a charming smile. You smile and lean forward to kiss him. You don’t give him time to try and search for more, pulling away all too quickly. Stepping away to tidy away some of the oils and lotions - the mystery of the behind-the-scenes now removed - Bucky climbs off the table and retrieves his robe. 

“So, I have an update on that whole baby shower thing,” you say. Bucky heads to the jewellery pot to retrieve his dog togs. 

“Oh?”

“Apparently I’m out of the will if I don’t go, according to Barbara,” you tell him, meeting his gaze. Bucky quirks a brow, hooking his tags over his neck. 

“You gonna go?”

You shrug. Twisting a lid back onto a tub of lotion, you say, “I’ve been giving it some thought. I think I should go.”

“Really?” he frowns. He crosses the room to lean against the massage bed, arms folded over his chest, watching you work. 

“It’s not fair to the baby,” you sigh. You slide the tub back onto the shelf. “It didn’t ask to be born into some weird-Greek-tragedy nightmare. ‘Sides, I always wanted a sibling. Guess it’s my fault for not being more specific when I made my birthday wishes.”

Bucky shakes his head, smiling smally. “You’re incredible, y’know that? I mean, seriously, not a lot of people would take this in stride like you are.”

You laugh. “Believe me - I am not taking it in stride. I just figure it’s worth giving the baby a chance. Don’t want it to be treated like the black sheep.”

He shakes his head again. “Better person than me, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Well, funny you should mention that,” you hum. You busy your hands with folding the blanket that had been covering Bucky’s body. He can’t catch your gaze. “I was kind of thinking it might be slightly more bearable if there was a familiar face there, just for me?” Bucky’s brows raise. You finally meet his eyes. “Wanna be my plus one?”

“You sure? Your family’s gonna be there, right?”

“Not really. Just my aunt and granny Barbs. Lucy’ll probably come too; they’re like a package deal.”

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking about that,” Bucky interrupts. “Are they…?”

“Gay?” You guess. He nods. Laughing, you shake your head. “Not that I’m aware of. Just lifelong friends, really. I call her aunt Lucy - she’s been around as long as I can remember.”

“Just thought it was worth checking,” Bucky hums, shrugging. “So, anyway, you were saying: your aunt, your gran, Lucy…”

“And some of the blushing soon-to-be-mother’s friends, probably,” you finish. “My mom and aunt’s mother died way back when, before I was even born. Grandpoppy too. And mom is, of course, refusing to go.”

“Seems fair,” Bucky mutters. 

“Daddy dearest is at work so we’re free of him. So really, it’s just two blood relatives.”

“Just two, huh?” he says. He clears the space between the two of you, taking the blanket from your hands and lying it on the table. With that, he places his open palms on your hips, tugging you closer. “Think I can handle that.”

“You sure? You might be about to witness a Shakespearan drama up close.”

“Lifelong dream.”

Smiling up at him, you push up onto your toes and kiss him dead on the lips. Bucky smiles. “You’re perfect,” you say against his damp mouth. “Thank you.”

The words catch in his throat. Anything for you. 

As decided two days prior, Bucky picks you up from outside your flat. Your aunt’s house was just outside of the city, not far from the spa, and you’d offered to take the train, but he figured driving was better. It gave him an excuse to have you all to himself for close to an hour. Lionel Richie crooned out of the speakers the whole ride there, accompanied by your slightly off-key harmonies. He’d smiled stupid most of the journey. But as the two of you neared the house, only five minutes away, your joy seemed to fizzle out like sun behind clouds. 

“You good over there?”

“Just mentally preparing,” you murmur. You’re staring out the side window. “I haven’t seen aunt Millie since before the Blip.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

“Maybe,” you hum. “Feels like I’m betraying mom, though.”

“Does she know you’re going?” Bucky asks. His eyes flit over to you, concerned. You shake your head. 

“Her memory isn’t all that good these days. Thought it wasn’t worth the stress for her. ‘Sides, it’s not like we’re particularly close anyway.”

Bucky’s heart clenches. If someone were to ask him what he thought your family was like, he would have offered up two proud as peach parents and a little brother or sister who adored you. Instead, it seemed the only person worth their salt in your family tree was Barbara - second to you, of course. Whilst Bucky’s dad was a disappointment in the end, he still had fond memories of his childhood, and even after with his mom and sister. Steve was like a brother, and his parents a second set to his own. He never went without love or support, in some way or another. From the small stories you’d scattered within your time together, Bucky had built up a rather lonely picture of your upbringing. And yet here you were, far from bitter and still willing to step into the most mind-blowing scenario simply to prove to an unborn baby that you would try. 

His hand reaches across the seats until it lands on your knee. He squeezes reassuringly. Your warm palm envelopes over it and you catch his gaze. The two of you share a smile, a silent promise to go into this as a team. 

“Barbara and Lucy might just lose their minds when they see you, by the way,” you tell him, lightening the tone. 

Bucky grins, eyes drifting back to the road. He reluctantly withdraws his hand to shift gears, preparing to turn down another street. “I’m ready for the grilling.”

“Oh, nothing could prepare you for their grilling,” you warn, making him laugh. 

The house is charming. As Bucky pulls onto the driveway, he takes note of the magnificent topiaries and trimmed bushes. Flower beds line the front of the bricked building: cream painted window panes outlined with ivy. It’s like something from a fairytale book: enchanting and bewitching. Around the doorframe are balloons which rustle in the wind: blue and pink. Bucky puts the car into park and shuts off the engine. You’ve gone quiet. You’re staring at the house, lost in thought. 

“We don’t have to do this, y’know,” Bucky hears himself tell you. You don’t move, don’t look at him. “We can go right back to the city. Or just keep driving. Whatever you want.”

The silence stretches. Then, you shake your head. You turn to face him, a smile pushing onto your face. “No,” you say. “No, I need to do this. For the baby.”

He nods. When he gets out of the car, you follow. Retrieving a pair of gift bags from the back seat, Bucky hands one to you and carries the other. The gravel crunches beneath his shoes as the two of you head to the door. You take a deep breath in and knock. There’s music inside, muffled by the bricks and wood, and the vague sound of animated chatter. Bucky’s spine bristles. He didn’t love new people, or gatherings, or gatherings of new people. But this was important to you. You needed someone to be there for you, to help get you through it, and Bucky would be damned if that person wasn’t him. He’d opted for a long sleeved henley, deep blue, and jeans. His metal hand was on display but it didn’t draw too much attention, or at least he hoped so. 

The door swung open before he could obsess much more about his appearance. A lady stood, face round and cheeks flushed. She was heavily pregnant. This must be Aunt Millie. Bucky clenched his jaw and tried to find his inner peace. 

“Darling!” she cooed, throwing her arms around you. You were visibly stiff, reluctantly returning the embracement. “So glad you could make it!”

“Of course, aunt Mil,” you murmur. As she pulls away, her eyes naturally drift to Bucky. She eyes him with slight suspicion. “This is my friend, James.”

“James,” aunt Millie echoes, reaching out a hand. Bucky shakes it with his right. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You too. Congratulations,” he says, sounding far from enthused. She smiles nonetheless. Her hand retracts to smooth over her baby bump. Bucky feels slightly sick.

“Nearly there. Daz says I’m about to pop any day now,” she says, rolling her eyes mirthfully. It’s your turn to clench your jaw. It seems an unfamiliar tick for someone so peaceful and relaxed as yourself. “Come in, come in! Everyone’s in the living room!”

You follow after her, Bucky in tow, and the pair of you step into an unfortunately beautiful living area. The homely interior looks like a stork has gone to town on it: blue and pink bunting strung on every wall; streamers dangling from the ceiling, pearly white; balloons everywhere. Poppy music plays from an Alexa. Drinks are laid out on an ebony cart, labels beside pitchers of blue and pink concoctions with cute baby puns. An impressive spread of food is on another console table. Party guests sit on the sofas and in armchairs, a few on stools. Bucky’s eyes land on Barbara. She’s brooding in the corner, a party hat skew-whiff on her head. She hasn’t seemed to notice him yet. 

“Everybody!” Aunt Millie calls. The conversations die down. What seems to be nine pairs of eyes drift over to you and Bucky. “Some new guests have arrived. Of course, you remember our little darling. And this is her friend, James.”

He finds himself looking at Barbara. There’s a shit-eating grin on her face. It seems the party has finally started for her. 

“Where should we put these?” you ask, lifting up your gift bag. 

“Oh, you sweeties,” aunt Millie preens. She guides the two of you into the adjoining kitchen. There’s a enormous stack of presents atop of the kitchen island. “You can add it to there. Thank you so much, that’s so kind.”

With that, she’s returning to her party. Bucky stands by your side and places his gift bag beside yours. “What’d you bring?” he murmurs. 

“Vodka,” you deadpan. He snorts. “I’m kidding,” you say, flashing him a grin. A real one, this time. “I found these cute baby blankets at this little store in Manhattan. Couldn’t resist. It was purely to benefit capitalism.”

He chuckles.

“What about you?”

“Some pacifiers. Figured you can never have enough, and I didn’t wanna spend more than twenty bucks.”

“Very smart of you,” you agree with a nod. You sigh and look up at him. Smiling, your voice is heavy with sincerity as you tell him, “thank you, for coming to this. I don’t think I could do this on my own.”

“Course,” Bucky quietly replies. He smiles down at you. You’re beautiful, standing in a summer dress that ends just before the knee, painted in peonies and snapdragons. “You need me, I’m there.”

Something in his words seems to hit you. Your eyes widen by a slight. If Bucky wasn’t trained to be so perceptive, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. But he does. Your lips part as if to say something, but instead of your sweet voice coming out, instead it’s:

“Well, well, well.”

Your eyes press shut. Bucky somehow holds back his laugh. The two of you turn to lay eyes on Lucy, saddled up beside Barbara. He’s not sure he’s seen either of them so happy. No, not happy. Gloating. 

“Nice of you to join us for this little shin-dig, James,” Barbara cordially greets. 

“Yes, so nice of you,” Lucy parrots. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Nice to see you both too.”

“I should have placed money. If I was a betting man–”

“--What do you mean ‘if’? You lose about a twenty a week on those damn roulette tables on the internet.”

“Secret roulette tables,” Lucy hisses. 

“Glad to see the two of you enjoying yourselves,” you say, leaning against the kitchen island. “We miss anything so far?”

“Just a riveting round of ‘pin the baby bundle on the stork’,” Barbara says, sounding far from entertained. 

“Barbs here placed it way off to the left on the wallpaper. I think it was on purpose,” Lucy says. 

“What do you mean ‘think’, you twit, of course it was on purpose. This whole party is a whole load of–”

“--There you all are!”

It must look rather frightening, the fakeness of the smiles Aunt Millie is met with from the four reluctant guests. 

“We were just about to start a round of ‘twenty-one-questions’. Care to join?”

“How could we say no?” Lucy sardonically replies. Aunt Millie claps her hands together and returns to the living room. Lucy rolls her eyes; Barbara takes a swig of her glass of red wine. 

“What a dithering idiot,” Lucy mutters, following after the host. Barbara nods in agreement as she shadows. You shake your head and laugh quietly. 

“This is going fantastic.”

Bucky reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You squeeze his metal palm and let him guide you back into the belly of the beast. There’s a loveseat empty which the two of you can only just fit on: your thigh presses up against Bucky’s. Without option, you’re each handed a paper cup of mocktail. Bucky has blue, you have pink. 

“Mm. What’s your taste like?” you quietly ask him. The attention is largely on aunt Millie who is explaining the very complex game of twenty-one-questions (‘so, essentially, everybody asks questions…’). 

“Sugar. Yours?”

You giggle underbreath. Pushing the cup near to him, you whisper, “here. Try it.”

He takes it from you and has a sip. Strawberry fizz hits his tongue like a sherbet. He bobs his head and nods. “Mm. I prefer mine.”

“Lemme try it. I might like it more.”

“No, I want it,” he childishly argues back. 

“Come on!” you giggle, reaching for his cup. He holds it up and out of reach, grinning down at you. “Bucky–”

“You two okay?”

His head snaps up to meet Aunt Millie’s curious expression. He lowers the cup, face flushing with embarrassment at the attention from the other party attendees, and nods. Clearing his throat, he replies, “yep. All good here.”

Twenty-one-questions goes by without a hitch. In fact, Bucky thinks you begin to enjoy yourself somewhat. The event is rather nice if you block out the fact that your mother’s sister is pregnant with your dad’s baby, your soon-to-be half-sibling/niece/nephew. The first round is a pig, the second a newspaper. 

“Alright, who should go next?” Aunt Millie wonders. 

“I think our darl should. She always comes up with clever ones,” Barbara says, pointing over to you. Bucky quirks a brow, looking down at you. You sigh and roll your eyes, but you don’t say no. 

“Got one?”

“Yep,” you smile, nodding. Bucky takes a sip of his neon blue concoction - it’s starting to grow on him. The questions start to come in and clues are uncovered: it’s a person; a relatively young person; a black person; a black man; a black man who flies; no, not the first black pilot; he isn’t a pilot, he just flies; a black man who–

“Is it Sam?” Bucky suddenly asks. 

You grin, looking up at him. “Sam who?”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky catches on quickly. “Is it Captain America?”

“Hey! James got it!” you cheer. The room cheers too, clapping jovially, whilst you gloat in your little gag. Bucky shakes his head at you; he’s smiling, hard. You let out a little laugh. He’s glad you're enjoying yourself. Relieved, even. The game comes to a close after that and stories are passed. The two of you end up wrapped in a conversation with one of your aunt’s friends from college. She’s nice enough, likely oblivious to the Freudian case study which was her friend’s pregnancy. As she’s telling you and Bucky about a trip she went on to Paris the other month, there’s a knock at the front door. Bucky vaguely tracks Aunt Millie getting up to go answer it. It was a reflex, to stay alert at all times. His hearing catches onto what sounds like a man’s voice. His brows tug together slightly, lips losing some of his smile. He sees it before it’s announced. His stomach twists. His back goes stiff. His palm sweats. He doesn’t have to know what Darren looks like to recognise him. An asshole like that is distinguishable from a mile away, by a blind man. 

“Look who made it!” Aunt Millie announces with dumb excitement. Everyone in the room turns. Bucky wishes there’s some way to warn you of what you’re about to see, but there isn’t. Everything is somehow happening in slow motion with no time to intervene. He knows the second you lay eyes on him. 

You go statue still. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Darren grins. He’s charming. Smarmy. Makes your skin prickle with disgust, a gut feeling that he wasn’t all he pretended to be. “Told the boys at work the occasion and they let me get off early.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here,” aunt Millie gushes. She ushers her friends to make space for him. Bucky’s gaze hardens to steel when he watches Darren’s eyes fall onto you. 

“Darling.”

You don’t speak. Don’t move. Bucky’s eyes flit down to you but he can’t see your face, just the back of your head. 

Darren’s guided to take perch on the sofa, a space cleared for him as if he’s royalty, and as he falls into conversation with aunt Millie’s friends, their attention all zoned in on him, you abruptly get up from the sofa and walk to the door. Bucky’s eyes dart over to Barbara and Lucy’s. They’re watching with an eagle gaze just like he is. Barbara looks apologetic, disappointed, worried. Lucy just looks pissed. Bucky gets up and gives them a brief nod; he ditches his cup on the coffee table as he heads for the door. You’re stood outside, lent against the brick wall. Your head is lulled back, eyes closed, lips pulled into a thin line. Bucky lets the door quietly click shut behind him. He doesn’t speak. Just stands, hands in his pockets, and watches you, quietly concerned. 

“He came,” you mumble. 

Bucky nods despite the fact you can’t see him. 

You lift a hand up to the bridge of your nose and pinch it, rubbing. “The fucking asshole came. He’s shameless. It actually makes me sick.” Sighing, you open your eyes and glance over to Bucky. Tears gather in the waterline. His mind splits. A part of him wants to go back in there and beat the son of a bitch until he can’t walk, and a part of him wants to stay and hold you and tell you everything will be okay. He knows which one to lean into the second a tear slips down your cheek. 

“Come here,” he murmurs. You don’t need any further prompting. You practically fall against him, a hand coming up to fist at his shirt, and Bucky wraps his arms around you, holding you close. Your body shivers with your quiet tears. He places a kiss to the crown of your head, pressing his cheek against your hair, and he holds you. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I fucking hate him,” you cry into his shirt. “I hate his guts.”

“That anyway to speak about your old man?”

Bucky’s shoulders seize. He slowly turns his head to find Darren standing there in the doorway, flesh and blood - a waste of both. He’s happy to let his contempt be palpable. It’s easy to sink back into his old ways: brooding, silent, deadly. Darren doesn’t seem to be all the way stupid. He shifts slightly under Bucky’s gaze. He eyes him warily and doesn’t take a step out of the house towards you. 

“Come on, darling. I just want to talk,” Darren says, softer. 

You slowly ease away from Bucky’s frame. Sniffing, you wipe your cheek. One of your hands stays on Bucky’s side, as if you need to keep him close. 

“I don’t wanna talk to you,” you say, voice still quivering. 

“Look, I understand this is a bit of a surprise–”

“A surprise? Which part exactly?” you spit. You’re angry, suddenly so. Pulling away from Bucky, you furiously wipe your face dry as you take a step towards your father. “You being here and ambushing me, or you knocking up mom’s sister?”

“It’s hardly an ambush, darling. This is a baby shower for my child.”

You laugh. It’s haunting to Bucky, void of humour. “Do you even hear yourself!? Can you not fathom how insane that is!? You need fucking help!”

“Don’t be cruel, darling.”

“Don’t call me that,” you snarl, pointing at him. “You don’t get to call me that. You ruined my life.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think–”

“God, you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

Darren swallows. He looks uncomfortable. Bucky stares him down. “Can we talk somewhere alone, maybe?”

“No. I don’t want to be alone with you,” you state. Darren sighs. His hands slip into his pockets. You press your lips together and take a deep breath. In the lull, he takes a step outside and closes the door behind him. Bucky imagines it’s to save face from the others. God forbid people know the truth about this piece of scum. As if incapable of reading the room, Darren’s eyes drift up over your head to Bucky. 

“I see you’ve met someone,” he says. Bucky almost wants to laugh at the man’s idiocy when he extends out a hand for Bucky to shake. “I’m Darren.”

“I know who you are,” is all Bucky says. He doesn’t shake his hand. Darren eventually returns it to his pocket. The attention returns to you. You’re shaking your head, hands on your hips, staring at the wall just to the side of Darren’s head. 

“I see things are going just as good for you as always, then.”

Bucky’s jaw ticks. Your eyes slowly drift over to your dad. He feels the need to expand. 

“First you throw away your medical degree and now this. Dating a former criminal. A known murderer. You’re just throwing it all away now, huh?”

Bucky’s blood goes cold. You shake your head. Slowly at first, then fast. “You don’t get to come in here and tell me how to live my life when you’ve made such a shitshow of yours.”

“You don’t talk to me like that. I’m your father.”

“And what exactly qualifies you of that title?” you ask, cocking your head. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know you had a good future lined up before you threw it all down the shitter,” Darren boldly states. 

“I like my life,” you tell him. “I like the choices I’ve made in my life. I’m happy.”

“With him?”

“Yes. With him,” you affirm. Bucky wasn’t aware of how badly he needed to feel your touch until your hand reached behind you for his. The tension eased from him like water rolling off leaves. “I hated my life before. I hated college. I hated medical school. I hated you.”

“You could have been a doctor,” your dad says, shaking his head. There’s something akin to disgust in the way he appraises you. “You could have been a psychiatrist.”

“And whose fault is it that I’m not?”

He doesn’t answer. It seems he knows it, though. His brows twitch, his fingers too. Bucky doesn’t like him for a myriad of reasons, but partly because he can’t predict him. One moment he’s the apologetic father and the next he’s the disappointed dad. 

“You’re not who I thought you’d be, darling,” Darren remarks, shaking his head. He tuts. “What a waste.”

Anger blinds him. Bucky takes a step forward. Your hand clenching his is the only thing which makes him stop.

“I could say the same thing to you, dad,” you say. Your voice is steady, frighteningly so, when you speak. “You were all I looked up to, and now I can’t even look at you.”

Darren stands there, stupefied. His lips part like a fish out of water, searching for words. Rage colours his face, distorts his hideous features. But you don’t bother to wait for his comeback. It would only be a waste of oxygen. 

“Goodbye, dad.”

You turn heel and walk to the car. Bucky lets his hand slip away from yours. He doesn’t stop you and you don’t wait. Darren bristles as Bucky stalks towards him. He doesn’t stop until the shorter man’s back is pressed against the door. He dips his face, invading his personal space, and glares daggers into his wide eyes. 

“You do anything as much as text her, and I’ll find you. Got it?”

Darren swallows. Bucky’s metal arm whirs, his patient dwindling, and he grabs firmly at Darren’s upper arm. He squeezes. Hard enough to leave a mark. His smirk is impossible to hold back at the quiet whimper he’s met with. 

“Got it?” he grits out. 

Finally, Darren nods. Bucky lets go in an instant. He brushes his hands down Darren’s arms, smoothing his shirt, and takes a step back. His smile is overly polite. “Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”

You’re sitting in the passenger seat when Bucky reaches the car. He glances over to the house as he turns on the engine. Darren’s gone back inside, it seems. Barbara is at the kitchen window, watching. Bucky gives her another nod and she gives one back. He taps on the screen of the car until the satnav chimes to life, logged for your address. 

“Ready to leave?” he checks, glancing over to you. You’re slumped in your seat, staring out the passenger side window. Your reply is a silent nod. Bucky pulls out of the driveway and starts off down the road. 

You don’t speak for the first thirty minutes. Not a single word. You’re not crying, though, which Bucky takes to be a good thing. Bucky decides not to open the conversation. He knows more than anyone the value of space. You needed time to think and to process. Bucky never got to see his father again after he walked out, but he can only imagine that if their paths ever somehow crossed - then or even now - he would need time to work it all through.

But he’s human, still. His worry nibbles away at him until he can’t help but reach a hand across the console, just as he had done on the ride there, placing his hand on your knee. It lingers there for a minute. He considers taking it back. But then, your hand is laying atop of his. He glances over to you and you meet his gaze. The smile you flash him is real. Genuine. You might not be good, but you’re okay. That’s all Bucky needs right now. 

The radio hums quietly in the background. Bucky hadn’t bothered to queue anything up; he isn’t sure which playlist is on. A piano melody opens a song. A man begins to sing. You shuffle in your seat. 

“I like this song,” you mumble. Bucky glances at you. You turn to sit facing inwards, towards him. He reaches over to the dial and turns the volume up. A few moments later, you’re quietly singing along.

Bucky smiles to himself. The song swells into rhythmic blues with haunting synth tunes. As it ties together, fading off into the next tune, you sigh. 

“I’m okay now,” you say softly. Bucky doesn’t say anything. You nod. Smile. “Yeah. I think I’m okay.”

He offers out his hand to you and you take it. And for the first time since Bucky’s met you, he thinks he might be the one to remove a weight from your shoulders. 

Something shifts in the relationship after that. There’s a gravity to it which wasn’t there before, and a new meaning defined. It was more than pleasant dates and lingering kisses and longing stares. Bucky had seen the side of you which you kept under layers of armour which time had built. The endless patience he’d been privy to snapped. He’d held you whilst you cried and helped to dry the tears. In a strange way, it felt like a milestone had been met. One which underlined how serious Bucky was about you, and you about him. But it remained unnamed and unlabelled - the relationship the two of you shared. Bucky was still finding his footing with romance. The steps were coming back to him but he needed some time to remember the routines. Was asking someone to be your girlfriend even a thing anymore? It felt juvenile, outdated, and yet necessary. In a caveman-like way, Bucky wanted people to know you were with him. He belonged to you. 

“Watched any good movies this week?” you ask Bucky as you walk down the streets of Brooklyn one evening. In your right hand is a carrier bag filled with miscellaneous items you’d picked up on an errand run. It had felt domestic joining you in the shop as you picked out shampoo and mouthwash and painkillers. Your left hand is encased in his, warmed by his leather glove. 

“Fight Club,” he replies. Despite the little book Steve gave him being gone, Bucky had continued his catching-up on the things he missed. That included movies. You’d ask him occasionally about what his latest ‘education’ was. 

“Ah. Man-classic. What did you think?”

Bucky shrugged. A couple across the street laughed. “It was alright. The ending was pretty strange.”

“The whole movie is,” you snort. “I don’t like how it’s filmed. It makes me feel dizzy.”

“Definitely not my favourite,” Bucky agrees. 

“Brad Pitt is sexy though, so it gets points for that,” you comment. Bucky glances down at you, amused. 

“Can’t say I noticed.”

You roll your eyes, grinning up at him. “Yeah right. Nobody is immune to Brad Pitt.” Neither agreeing or disagreeing, you continue to fill the city-scape buzz. “What’s next on your watch-list?”

“Not sure,” Bucky hums. He reels aloud different titles from the mental list he'd been making, from people's recommendations of 'you have to see so-and-so movie - it's a classic!' You let out varying intonations of hums in response to each. Then, you gasp. 

“You know what we should watch?” Bucky quirks a brow in question. “Dirty Dancing. Now that is a classic.”

“Dirty Dancing? The hell’s that?” Bucky frowns, bemused. 

You gape at him like he’d just insulted your religion. “It’s the best romance movie ever made.”

“Quite the claim.”

“Because it’s true,” you insist. Your pace picks up slightly and Bucky laughs to himself. “We’re watching it tonight. You can’t fight me on this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

He’s more than happy to let you drag him to your apartment building, driven with newfound purpose. Your apartment is something of a second home to him now. He kicks off his shoes when he walks in; lounges on his claimed spot and turns on the television whilst you potter about in the kitchen. The fairy lights and lamp flicker to life. You wander over with two glasses of wine and a bowl of popcorn. Bucky pops a piece in his mouth whilst scrolling through the various streaming platforms. You sit sideways on, stretching your feet out and onto his lap. He loves it. It’s so easy, so natural, so right. Eventually, Bucky finds Dirty Dancing. As the opening credits roll onto the screen, Bucky’s metal hand busies itself with rubbing soothing, deep circles into the sole of your foot. Little tricks he’d learnt from your time together. The movie stretches on. Sixties music with blues drum beats; sepia tainted footage. His attention is only half on the story. It keeps drifting to you. You’re enthralled, smiling to yourself faintly. Your head bobs along to the music sometimes. Your lips move silently with some of the dialogue; you’ve seemingly seen it enough times to rehearse it. 

“Patrik Swayze is so attractive,” you randomly announce. Bucky chuckles. He squeezes your foot playfully and you squirm. “Don’t worry, you’re hot too.”

“Atta girl,” he murmurs with a lazy grin. 

“I think there’s nothing sexier than a guy who dances,” you muse. “What’d you think so far?”

“I like it,” he tells you. You meet his eyes, a brow quirked as if to ask ‘really’. “I do. It’s fun. Romantic.”

“So romantic,” you swoon like a teenager. Bucky grins, shakes his head, and looks back to the movie. “Do you dance?”

“I used to,” Bucky says. He smiles at the faint memories of hours spent in dance halls. The smell of smoke gripping to the wallpaper; the taste of whiskey on his tongue. A girl on his arm, Steve begrudgingly tagging along. “Used to be pretty good at it. I could waltz fairly good. My ma taught me how.”

“I’m jealous,” you murmur. “People don’t dance these days. Not like back then.”

Something in your tone has Bucky pushing your feet off his lap. His body isn’t his own when he rises to his feet. You look up at him, mildly amused, and he extends a hand out to you. 

“Come on then.”

You quirk a brow. “Really?” 

He nods. You hesitate for a moment before slipping your hand into his. He helps tug you up and onto your feet. You giggle, nervous, and let him maneuver you like a puppet. His heart thrums nervously in his chest. He hasn’t danced in years; not properly. No more than the toe tap in the kitchen as the radio plays. But something about you has him taking the chance. 

“Like this,” he murmurs. His voice fades into the music and dialogue of the movie. 

Your left hand is guided onto his shoulder, and your right is captured in his metal hand. His right lands on your waist, fingers pressing into your flesh gently like sinking into snow. He nods and takes a step forward, and you take one backwards. 

“That’s it, you got it,” he quietly praises. Your shoulders ease slightly. You accidentally step onto his sock clad toe. 

“Oops. Sorry.”

“You’re good,” Bucky chuckles. After a few more stumbles and squished toes, you start to pick up on it. Bucky leads; his hand stays safe on your side, his other occasionally squeezing your palm. You're staring down at the floor, watching your feet like you might grow an extra toe, brows tugged together within concentration. Bucky lifts his finger under your chin and eases your face up, until your eyes meet his. A timid smile has his heart hiccuping. Bucky dips his face, pulling your body closer to him by the waist, and rests his chin by the crux of your shoulder. Your fingers press into the bridge of where metal meets flesh. He takes a deep breath in: you smell of your perfume and moisturiser. He tilts his head just enough to let his lips ghost a kiss to your neck. A quiet gasp escapes you. Bucky holds you closer still. His hips roll instinctively to the rhythm. His eyes slip shut. A weight rolls off his shoulder. Your own body begins to sway, the musicality contagious, and Bucky kisses you again on the throat, his lips lingering against the thin veil of skin. Your hand slinks away from his shoulder and up, into his hair. Your head turns and his eyes find yours, half-hooded, smiles gone. Something sweeps over the two of you, captures you in a bubble, and Bucky dances with you without shame. His hand grips at your hips and guides them to the beat, against him. Your eyes don’t shy away from his. Your lips remain parted, breath a little short; there’s the faintest tinge of wine that fills the ever decreasing gap between the two of you. And he can’t take it any longer. Bucky kisses you. He pours everything into it. Every memory, every thought, every compliment. You hold him close. Let him live in the dream of being a normal guy with a pretty girl. His lips slowly break apart but he remains close. Revels in the feel of your warm breath fanning his mouth. He swallows. Digs inside of him for guts to say the three words that have been there maybe since the start. 

A loud clatter on the television has you jumping. 

The bubble pops.

The two of you look to the TV. There’s a fight, a scuff of some kind between Johnny and another guy. Bucky swallows, his confidence flickering like a dying candle. You slip out of his hold with a nervous smile. Flustered like it was your first kiss. Combing some hair behind your ears, you smile at him. 

“I’m just gonna use the bathroom.”

Bucky nods. As you head out the room, he sighs. His fingers still tingle from your touch. His heart is racing. His mind feels foggy, like he’s been possessed by a former version of himself. When you return, he’s back on the sofa, drinking his wine, watching the movie. You wordless return to your spot beside him. Your head leans against his shoulder. You bring the bowl of popcorn up and take a handful. Bucky takes a piece too. 

“Y’know, you kinda remind me of her,” Bucky says, tipping his glass towards the screen. 

“Baby?”

“Mhm. Determined. Kind. Giggly, with an edge. Sexy.”

“Sexy, huh?”

“Hey, if you’re having Patrik then it’s only fair that I have her.”

You giggle. Crunching on a piece of popcorn, you shrug. “Fair enough. Can’t argue with that logic.”

The popcorn goes down piece by piece, the bowl empty by the time the end credits roll. Bucky sees the appeal. It’s charming, living in its time like Bucky wishes he could. Yawning, you reach over for the remote and turn the volume down. That’s when the two of you catch it. It’s raining. 

“Sounds pretty heavy,” you comment. Bucky hums. Getting to your feet, you gather the empty glasses and bowl and head into the kitchen. He clicks off the TV and follows. Your back is to him as you stand at the sink, rinsing the pots. Bucky doesn’t wait for you to ask, grabbing a tea towel and taking the spot beside you to dry the pots you wash. Domestic. Safe and secure. “Y’know, you could just stay over.”

Something zips through Bucky at the thought. “Yeah?”

“I mean…I am, so…”

He chuckles at that, catching your cheeky grin in the corner of his eye. He swallows, turns over the offer in his mind like assessing an artifact. “You sure you wouldn’t mind?”

You shut off the sink. Looking up at him, you smile. There’s something on your face that isn’t familiar to Bucky. Your eyes flicker up and down over him; it’s quick but noticeable. “Certain of it.”

Considering Bucky has never stayed over before, the two of you step into a routine as if you’ve done it dozens of times before. Your shoulder brushes his upper arm as you stand side by side at the sink, brushing your teeth. In the reflection, your eyes catch. You smile at him. He smiles back. He stays behind to use the toilet as you head into your bedroom. In the quiet seclusion of the bathroom, he washes his hands and studies himself in the mirror. The memory of you moments ago, close to his body, close enough that he could feel every little twitch that every breath brought, was replaying in his mind, over and over. The way your breath caught, the tiny gasp that came when he kissed your neck. The smell of you was consuming him, driving him crazy. He closed his eyes and gripped the sink. Get it together, Barnes. Jesus. He was acting like a goddamn teenager, going through puberty all over again. But with the eroticism came anxiety. It seeped into his shoulders, tightened the muscles like pulling on strings. It had been years - years - since he laid with a woman. He imagined it to be the same as dancing; muscle memory. But he worried himself sick. What if he wasn’t as good as he used to be? What if it’s a big disappointment for you? He wants to make you feel good…That’s all he’s ever wanted. 

Bucky splashes some cold water on his face. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He trusts you. That’s all that matters. He knows you, too. Knows you won’t laugh in his face. That you’ll be patient, understanding. It was in your nature, as embedded in your body like your tendons and bones. Get it together. He heads out the bathroom and into the bedroom. 

You’re sitting on the bed atop of the covers, scrolling on your phone, in your pajamas: an oversized shirt from your former college, sporting the emblem on the front, and a pair of sleep shorts. The only light comes from your left, a yellow-ish glow from the bedside lamp. He’s not sure where the idea comes from, but the second it's in his mind, it’s out his mouth. 

“Y’know what I was thinking about?”

“How sexy Patrick Swayze is?” you wonder, not looking up from your screen. Bucky rolls his eyes in good nature. 

“I wanna give you a massage.”

That has your attention. You look up and over to him, clicking off your phone. “A massage?”

“Yeah. I wanna see what it’s like. Pay you back. Tit for tat,” Bucky shrugs, slipping his hands into his pant pockets. You chuckle; your phone joins the bedside table. 

“You don’t gotta ‘pay me back’. It’s a service, Bucky. That’s how economy works. Business,” you tease. He rolls his eyes and sits down on the bed. You’re still deliberating his offer. Eventually, you shrug. “I mean, I’m game.”

His brows raise slightly. “Yeah?”

“Sure,” you say. You get to your feet and head for the door, saying as you go, “there’s some spare oils and stuff in the bathroom. I’ll go get them.”

In the brief time you’re gone - the extractor fan light telling of your whereabouts - Bucky meddles with the bedsheets. He arranges it so there’s a pillow laid out for your head, pushing the duvet off the foot of the bed. He’s still standing by the foot of the bed when you come back in, a bottle of massage oil in each hand. 

“Your choice,” you say, lifting each, “lavender or cedarwood.”

“Lavender,” he nods. You hand it over. He turns it over in his metal hand, vaguely reading the label. You click the door behind you and press your back against it, waiting. Bucky clears his throat, finding his smile. He gestures to the bed. “Your massage bed, ma’am.”

“Why thank you,” comes your accented reply. He chuckles. You climb onto the bed, sitting on your knees, and something about it sends a chill down Bucky’s spine. You quirk a brow, expectant. 

“Could you, uh, take off your top. So I can get to your shoulders, s’all.”

Your lips quirk. “If you wanted me naked,” you lowly say, fingers catching the hem of your shirt. Bucky’s lungs go empty as you pull it up and over your head. It’s tossed to the floor. He lets out a shaky breath through the nose. “All you had to do is ask.”

His eyes slip shamelessly down from your eyes to your chest. You sit there, shirtless, waiting. He swallows. He gestures to the bed. “Lie down, on your stomach.”

Your compliance shouldn’t be as erotic as it is. You sink down into the mattress, face turned to the right, facing the wall. Your eyes slip shut with a breath. Bucky’s eyes trail down your bare back; he admires every muscle, every dip, every freckle and scar, every stretch mark. You’re beautiful; something pulled from his fantasies and crafted into life. He sinks onto the bed on his knees. He hooks a leg over your body, holding himself over your frame in a straddle. Opening the bottle of oil, he tips what seems a sufficient amount into his right hand. The bottle clinks on the bedside table. He rubs his hands together and inhales slowly, calming himself, his heart racing, mind veering off into sensual reveries. 

“I’m going to touch you,” he murmurs. You don’t speak. His hands sink down onto your skin. Your body is firm beneath his touch, but there’s the squish and give of skin that gives when he pushes gently into the muscle. You let out a deep sigh. He smirks. “That’s it…”

Bucky’s mesmerised with how your body feels beneath his touch. He mimics what you do to him; presses into the crux of your shoulders, follows the flow of muscles down your lats and arms. He runs his palms by the heels of his hands up your back. The way you're breathing is driving him crazy. He’s never practised such restraint; growing harder and harder with every second his fingers are on your body. Then, he’s leaning down, down, down, until his lips meet your upper back. He kisses you. You sigh heavily. Another, and another, tracking down your spine. His fingers dip into the waistband of your sleep shorts. Before he can ask, you’re lifting your hips enough to help him slide them down: a silent mark of consent. He guides them down your legs, tosses them onto the floor. You’re not wearing panties. Bucky thinks a part of him dies and gladly goes to heaven. 

He runs a palm up your leg, starting at the shin, following the inner track of your thigh. He coaxes them apart and you give like parting water. Bucky’s eyes flick up to your face. Your eyes remain closed; your breathing, hard. He realises he is too. Your glistening core has him letting out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. 

“Fuck,” he breathes. His hands plant on your hips and he guides your body so you’re propped up onto your knees. You shift, leaning on your forearms. His finger reaches out and brushes through your folds, gathering some of the slick on his fingers. You gasp out at the tiny sensation. 

“Bucky,” you mumble. He groans. His grip is just shy of mean when he grabs your ass, guiding you open; he leans down and he can fucking smell you. It’s dizzying, intoxicating. It’s going to kill him. 

And what a way to die. 

His nose nuzzles against you first before his tongue licks a long, deep lap right to your clit. You’re gasping out, fingers fisting into the sheets. He’s a man starved. He can’t get enough. Your taste is addictive. It’s more than heroin, more than crack. It’s everything. His tongue dips at your weeping cunt, sucks at your swollen clit. He moans against you, eating you out like it’s his God given right. His fingers grab at the flesh of your cheeks, sure to leave bruises. You rut against his face, moaning stupid into the sheets. He keeps going until you’re begging. “Please, baby, please…God, fuck Bucky, don’t stop…M’gonna come, oh God…”

He keeps going until you’re clenching around nothing, shaking as you tip over the edge. He keeps going until you’re trying to crawl out of his hold, the overstimulation teetering on too much. He sits back on his haunches and wipes his face, licks his lips, savours the taste that he already wants more of. You’re on him in a second. Practically crawling into his lap, hooking your legs over and around his waist so you’re straddling him. Hands around his neck, in his hair, nails scratching at his scalp, pulling at his brown locks. You can surely taste yourself as you kiss him. It’s messy, filthy, nothing but tongue and teeth and broken pleas and moans. His hands can’t stay still. They roam over your body; rub at your thighs, caress your tits. You grab at his t-shirt and tug until he’s breaking apart, pulling it over his head. His dog tags rest against burning hot skin. 

Leaning back into his hold, your hands glide down his chest. You take your time with it, following along with your eyes, mouth agape. 

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” you sigh. Then you’re leaning in, pressing kisses to the junction of his prosthetic, and his eyes roll back into his head. They linger more and more as you journey to his ear, catching his lobe between your teeth. He’s amazed he doesn’t come as you whine into his ear, “need you to fuck me.”

With a grunt, his hands grab your hips and he tosses you onto your back. He’s caging you in, kissing you senseless until neither of you can remember your names. Your hands push at his pants and there’s a small struggle as Bucky kicks off his pants and boxers. But when your fingers wrap around his throbbing length, Bucky lets out a choked gasp, head dropping onto your collarbone. 

“Don’t tease,” he quietly begs. He kisses at your nipple. “I won’t last.”

“How long?” you whisper. You work him gently, slowly, careful of the pressure. 

“Too long,” he chuckles. He’s too turned on to be embarrassed by the admission. 

You kiss his forehead reassuringly. He lifts his head, eyes finding yours. “Me too,” you confide. 

Bucky ruts into your hand, hips rolling instinctively. Your thumb traces over the tip; his eyes slip shut with a moan of your name. 

“That’s it,” you murmur. Bucky wants to cry as you start speaking to him in that voice. The voice that hooked him in. The voice that could make him do anything. “Feels good, baby?”

“Fuck,” he grits out. He’s painfully hard. “No, no, m’close…”

“You wanna fuck me?” you innocently ask with a coo. Bucky moans, rutting desperately into your fist. “You gonna fuck me, James?”

“Fuck, baby, you’re gonna kill me,” he practically whines against your clammy skin. 

Your hand finally eases away and he lets out a breath, both of relief and disappointment. Then you’re wriggling up the bed, sitting up enough to reach over into the drawer of the bedside table. Bucky keeps himself busy with face fucking your tits. Your back arches at the hickeys he decorates the plump skin with. His dog tags dangle, ghosting your skin. Cupping his jaw, your fingers stroke lovingly at his cheek to guide his face away, back up to yours. The kiss you catch him in is different: slower, sweet, tender. His fingers seek out your free hand, stealing the condom from your hold. But then you’re breaking apart with a shaking head, breath fanning hot against his swollen lips. 

“I’m not ready yet,” you whisper. Bucky swallows. “It’ll hurt.”

“What’d you need?” Bucky murmurs through kisses. He leaves them anywhere. Your cheeks, your jaw, your neck. “Whatever you want, baby…”

“Need to be fingered,” you hum. Bucky’s eyes squeeze shut at the thought. His right hand runs up and along your leg, but before he can reach your cunt, you’re grabbing at his wrist. Face contorted with confusion, he glances up at you. You look fucking gone. You’re shaking your head, a small smile on your lips. “The oils aren’t for intimate use.”

He shakes his head, not following. 

“You can’t use them internally,” you explain, easing his hand away from you. He goes to push off you to wash his hands but you hold him close, stopping him. His brows are furrowed slightly, muddled, as he watches your hand slip away from his. Your finger slides through the soaking folds of your pussy. Bucky lets out a shuddering breath. Your head tilts back, eyes slipping shut as you sigh, pushing a finger inside of you. 

You start to fuck yourself with your fingers. 

“Holy fuck,” Bucky moans. He can’t seem to look away. He kisses your neck and jaw, insatiable, eyes trained on your digits that sink in and out of your soaking hole. How he hasn’t come yet is beyond him. You let out a desperate moan when you scissor yourself open. His metal thumb reaches down and he plays with your neglected clit. The squeal you let out is adorably erotic. Bucky chuckles against your burning hot skin. You’re like a fever he can’t sweat out. He kisses at your ear; nibbles at the edge of it. “So fucking sexy, fucking your hand.”

You cry out, groaning. The lewd squelch of your fingers runs like cold water down Bucky’s spine. 

“Bucky,” you whimper. “M’so close.”

“That’s it,” he croons. His fingers pinch your pebbled nipple. You’re rocking on your hand, three fingers buried inside of you. He shakes his head, smirking. “Doing so good for me, doll. You can come, baby. Let go…”

You shiver when you come. Your fingers slip out of you as you climax, incoherent blubbers falling from your kiss-swollen lips, a blasphemy of his name with the lords. Bucky rests his head against the crux of your shoulder, leaving love bites on your neck, his hand rubbing your waist reassuringly as you slowly start to come down. The sound of sucking has him opening his eyes. Your fingers are deep inside your mouth, cleaning them of your juices. He can’t help but laugh. 

“You can’t be fucking real,” he mutters. Your eyes open and he kisses you, chasing the taste of you on your tongue. 

And then finally, finally, he’s easing his way inside of you. 

You’re laid back on the bed; head rolled back, eyes pressed shut, mouth agape. Bucky props himself up above you, his metal hand guiding him into your sopping cunt. Despite the foreplay, you squeeze him as he enters. His moans are muffled into the skin of your shoulder. Your fingers thread through his hair, soothing him as he pushes inside, deeper and deeper, until you’re all he can feel. 

Somewhere in the haze, the two of you lock eyes. You smile at him. It tells him thousands of things. The trust you hold in him is astronomical in that moment, Bucky realises, and the same goes for him. He kisses you tenderly. Then he gently rocks his hips back, easing out, before driving back in. Your moan is half broken with a gasp. He groans against your body. Then, the tether snaps, and he loses all restraint. He fucks you into the bed until you can’t speak. He fucks you until your legs are locking around his body like a vice. He fucks you until you’re begging him for something, anything - until all that matters if hearing his name falling from your mouth over, and over, and over. 

“Fuck, James,” you cry, pulling him impossibly closer. He knows you're close. He is too. He has been for the past hour. “Please, baby. Please…”

“I know, doll, I know,” he grunts. The kisses are sloppy; broken but not wasteful. He moans as you clench around him. “Fuck, feel so fuckin’ good…”

Your voice cracks when you come for the third time that night. And it’s with that dying cry of his name that Bucky lets himself fall over the edge, tumbling into white-blind ecstasy. He’d forgotten, somehow, in all the years of torture and running and rebuilding: he’d forgotten how good it felt. 

Now that he’d remembered, Bucky wasn’t sure if he could ever go without it again. 

You’re still shaking after Bucky’s throws out the condom. He grabs the duvet and tugs it back up and onto the bed. It’s eased just up to your hip; your body is still hot as fire. Beads of sweat run down Bucky’s face. He lays on his back, eyes transfixed on the ceiling until he can’t hold them open any more. His chest is heaving as he slowly but surely begins to catch his breath. You sleepily shuffle closer, snuggling up against his clammy chest, panting still. He wraps his arm around you and presses a kiss to the crown of your forehead. 

“James?” you quietly broach. Your voice is a little breathless, those less so than before. He can still hear you crying out his name; nothing has ever sounded as sweet as you coming. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?” He swallows and nods. His finger swipes over your back, stroking at the skin, still slick with oil. “I love you.”

The words sit in the sex-soaked room. They seep into his mind like vapour, clouding every thought. Every nightmare and every horror is cloaked. Every self deprecating insult that he’s berated himself with becomes hidden. And through the mist, is you. It was always you. He knew it from the moment he met you. The reason why he had put up with all the shit that was thrown his way. The reason why he was still here, still trying, still fighting for something. It was because he needed to find you. 

It might be the easiest thing he’s ever said, when Bucky tells you, “I love you too.”

~*~*~*

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I might do a part two. Let me know if that's something people might want! also, this is my first time writing for bucky on this blog - please let me know if this is something you want to see more of!

thinking about BUCKY BARNES playing with you from behind.. 18+ fem!reader, mdni. 345 words

he’d sit behind you casually, slumped against the headboard with you between his open thighs, your back lounging into his chest. your knees are bent, fluffy-socked-feet planted either side of his straightened knees. it’s lazy, it’s comfortable, it’s low effort.

his left, metal hand rests somewhere around the top of your abdomen, vibranium palm holding onto you under your oversized tee. one of your bare tits sits on his lower arm, the other held by his hand that grabs and cups and paws. an action so antsy.

his free hand hovers over the waistband of your underwear, fleshed fingers grazing across the thin thread of elastic. bucky slips a finger underneath, pad faintly skimming along your skin — the sensitivity of his touch making your thighs jitter and tremble.

he itches the rest of his hand underneath, his slightly balled fist protruding through the thin albeit dampened fabric. the tiny bow of your underwear sits atop his wrist, the contrasting sight of something so delicate against something so rugged and manly sends your mind into a tizzy. every micromovement being watched keenly by your fervid eyes.

you move a hand from its placement on his arm around your middle to his other one that’s slotted in the crease where thigh meets cunt. your grip is desperate, fingers struggling to envelope the meat of his upper wrist. you nudge his hand lower, the hold you have on him like that of a guide — directing him to what you want and where you want it.

his neck peers around you, lips finding themself placed perfectly in the dip of your right temple. a repeated, almost forceful iteration of kisses pushes your head to the side in a gentle sway, your neck exposing and growing slack, strength dissipating until it rests against the scarring on his left shoulder. 

bucky’s head ducks down, lowering into the crook of your neck where he continues the kisses — trailing them ever so faintly in lines up and down the side of your throat.

“not yet,” he whispers to you from behind. “not yet.”

⎯ ☆ ⎯

Everything about this was so beautiful 😍

Sweet Juice

Severus Snape x Alumni!reader.

NFSW! Basically (fluffy) smut with a massive plot. //! Incorrect use of Potions.

Severus is 30 years old in this fic, you are 23, minor age gap. 

Summary: Ever since your youth, you were passionate about the art of Potions. Luckily, during your time at Hogwarts, you found a mentor in the strict and cold Professor Snape. Having made a habit of spending hours after class talking to him, all of this came to an abrupt end during your final year. Leaving you in a total mystery, with no answers.  It was only years later that you took your revenge, in the hope of moving on. Not suspecting that it would bring you face to face with your deepest desires. 

A/N: I admit I could have turned this into a multi-chapter fanfic, but I figured that would break the rhythm, so enjoy this long read! This fic is inspired by ‘Sweet Juice’ by Purple Kiss, go stream it for a better life! Trust me (;

Word count: 14k. (hehe)

"Ah- Miss Y/f/n, please accept this price. It is an honour to be able to reward young talents like yourself." The little cup was hurriedly placed in your hands.

"It is an honour to be awarded with this prestigious prize," You politely thanked the crowd.

Your eyes lingered on the name of the prize, ‘Research & Development, winner of the best potion of the year'. And without even realising it, your lips drew a somewhat smug smile. Standing upright, ready to have your photo done, to appear in the next edition of the Daily Prophet, with pride, you held the cup in your hands. In that busy room, you were the youngest. And yet, you are the one who has been praised for your achievements. Earning jealous glares from the potion makers, who coveted it as much as you did.

"Miss, can you tell us more about your potion, how did you get the idea?" You were asked, for what you guessed was now an actual interview.

"I wanted to be able to help the Wizards and Witches to unwind more easily, it is sometimes difficult to let go of work pressure and its boredom. That is why I decided to study Amortentia, and its derivations, in order to create a potion capable of releasing in us the hormones necessary to enjoy ourselves... Without the negative effects of the ancient Potions." You explained, in the simplest way possible to the journalists.

"So it's a potion that gets you aroused?" One adds.

You frowned, a little offended by this shortcut, "Yes, in theory, but it goes deeper than that. Otherwise, I wouldn't be rewarded today. But if you want to know, you have to taste it... All the reviews have been very positive." You commented, with a wink. 

To summarise months, almost a whole year of research, is almost an insult to your work. Amortentia is one of the most dangerous potions. Studying it to the point of understanding its mechanism and removing the obsession it causes, was the greatest achievement of the process. The rest was just a series of experiments, an understanding of the human body and its hormones, and it was done. 

The result was prodigious, it brought a sense of relaxation, without the risk of an eternal sleep like the Draught of Peace. Comfort and love, without the risk of being manipulated by an evil liquid. And then, depending on the quantity used, the effects could be more or less intense, but never dangerous. Quite remarkable, considering all the side effects that most Potions could provide. 

You deserve your reward tonight for many reasons, no one else has been able to do it in the past.

“Have you always held an interest in the subject?" The interview proceeded, to have some content for the beloved magazine.

"Yes, since my school days at Hogwarts. I quickly found a vocation in the subject, expressing my talents at an early age.” You paused, before continuing, "But it would never have been possible without the support of my teacher and mentor, Severus Snape, who taught me everything. His talent is second to none, and next to it, I am nobody, even after tonight." You humbly added, with another smile.

At the end of this sentence, your eyes searched for a certain dark silhouette. 

Unlike earlier, that smile was particularly forced on your lips. To say that he had supported you was a fine lie. While at first he was indeed ‘supporting’ you (more like a tolerating you), graciously accepting you to attend his prestigious private Potion club, the entirety of your last year was a failure. 

In your first years, you never had to face his wrath and nasty comments, simply because he couldn't blame you for anything. Your work was perfect, from theory to application. But to him, you were nothing.

With time, and your growing skills, things changed. There was a time when you even assumed that an understanding had developed between the two of you, you were not friends, it was impossible with such a man, but it wasn’t nothing either. Eventually, the discussions after class or the club, sharing theories and experiences, became quite regular. Sometimes up to dinner hour, and even after curfew, the time went by so quickly in these periods, as neither of you paid attention, caught up in the interaction. After all, the discussions were very entertaining, between two Potions enthusiasts, and you gained a lot of knowledge from them.

Perhaps because you had succeeded to raise his esteem for you, Professor Snape, during class, would give you one of his infrequent compliments on your methods, or provide you with advice while experiencing in the club. Over time, you came to really treasure this exclusive ‘bond’, with such a cold and distant person. It would be a lie to say that in every class, your shared private discussions weren't the moment you were most looking forward to. You felt special.

You couldn't remember exactly when or how this routine started, it had developed naturally during the end of your fifth year and lasted all the way through to the sixth. However, you could remember bitterly how it had ended. 

By the start of your final year at Hogwarts, a cold shoulder from Professor Snape had begun to creep between the two of you. He no longer commented on your work, or even dared to give you one of his rare compliments. It was simply as if you didn't even exist. This drastic change was particularly noticeable when you tried to revive another discussion after class, only to be rejected. 'I don't have time Miss Y/f/n', 'I've got too much work', 'Go, and revise', these were, obviously, bland excuses. 

You had spent time thinking about it, trying to understand this radical change, but nothing could be found. The discussions had never overflowed on personal information, at least on his side, you - You had been more talkative. And again, nothing major, just simple information like your preferences in terms of flowers, cake flavours, and favourite literature. It never looked like it bothered him to listen to you, and yet strangely enough it seemed to interest him. But, in the end, most of the talk was about Potions, nothing odd that should have ended it all brutally.

In the course of your discussions, you had always expressed an interest in a career in the field, and Professor Snape had consequently supported you (in his own way) in this idea. In all honesty, having his approval really encouraged you. Until, once again, your senior year. While you had been able to get decent, if not perfect, results up to this point, the downfall continued when you saw your grades drop for unfair reasons. You had never witnessed his unfair grading, but when you became one of his victims, he was unforgiving towards your harmless mistakes. It was as if he was trying to ruin your future career as a potion maker.

All this unjustified hatred, discouraged you, but not to the point of giving up your aspiration, otherwise you wouldn't be standing there with the precious prize in your hands. 

Was it some kind of revenge? Definitely. 

Mentioning Severus in your ‘thank you speech’ was perfectly legitimate, he had given you more than anyone else in your life. But, even though you kept telling yourself that it was already 3 years ago and it belonged to the past, your heart was still broken, disappointed. And by his presence tonight, you were hoping to finally put an end to it all. Snape had witnessed your happiness, you had won, the revenge was completed. Time to move on. 

However, it was easier to convince yourself than to apply it. It would be wrong to claim that you hadn't worked hard to impress him. Ever since that cold war between you two, no matter how strange it may seem, you couldn't get over it. 

Sometimes, in your most private moments, you would close your eyes in the hope of being able to remember. The damp smell of the dungeons invading your nostrils, your teacher's deep voice echoing within the cold walls to your ears, praising you how well you had worked. His dark eyes focused on you, and only you. In fact, the intensity of his dark gaze could suffocate you, and yet you would not care. You desperately wanted to reclaim that relationship, as someone to whom he would give his precious time, where he would share his passions anew, a time when in his mind you existed and were important. And no matter how embarrassing it was, the idea of finding pleasure in these memories was enough to make your knickers wet.

At the time, you had convinced yourself that you were not holding any affection regarding your Professor… Another fine lie from you, obviously. It had taken a few years to come to this conclusion, to get out of the denial of this forbidden love. But now it was clear and explained a lot concerning your addiction and pain. The feeling of anticipation at the end of each lesson, the way you would pour your soul into the subject in the hope of receiving a ‘compliment’... Or simply the way you kept seeking for his attention, even after years. Nothing about this behaviour was appropriate, regardless how hard you tried to maintain the classic student-teacher relationship, on your own. 

Perhaps Snape had even realised this, explaining the sudden cessation of your individual time together. 

And even though, with hindsight, you should have felt guilty, you couldn't throw away that attachment. It was as if he had put a spell on you, that the lack of contact with him since you graduated from Hogwarts had reinforced that love. 

But today was different, it was your revenge, your mourning over this period of your life. 

The sound of the camera flashes snapped you out of your thoughts. The lights blinded your eyes for a moment, and you blinked frantically to regain your sight. Hoping that the pictures would look nice on the magazine...

"Well, congratulations Miss Y/f/n, we hope to see your Potion soon on the market amongst our merchants. I can’t wait to taste it, as you have suggested." The interview ended on this note, and the journalists dismissed themselves to make room for those who wished to thank you or congratulate you in person. 

Thus, you were greeted with a new wave of questions, of praises, mostly it was older wizards and witches who were attending the event, and thus more 'experienced' than you in Potions. Their words tasted like hypocrisy, but you accepted everything with a polite smile. You actually enjoyed the attention, although deep down it was a particular Potions Master you were looking for, so it all went over your head. After a few moments you managed to escape from the conversation that had been built around the right to use the Felix Felixis at the Ministry's work, to get yourself a glass of alcohol from the buffet. 

The taste of alcohol eased your nerves, rejoicing in the moment of calm you just gave yourself after all the attention you received. But the moment was short.

“Miss Y/f/n. How fortuitous to find you here." A voice commented sarcastically on your presence at the bar. 

There was no need to look up at the person speaking to you because you already knew who he was. His deep voice was like a melody, a music composed by the finest musicians of this world. How, Merlin, you truly missed it…

“Professor Snape- Hum, or should I say Severus now that we are colleagues?” You answered him a little too smoothly for your taste, One drink and my anger is already forgotten? I need to get my act together!

“Snape will do, we are not direct colleagues. Let's keep some formality.” He replied somewhat distantly. Ouch- Years did not seem to have quieted the hatred he had against you.

You had not yet looked up to him, postponing the moment when you would be blessed with his physical presence. But you could see from the corner of your eye that he was pouring himself a shot glass of what seemed to be a fire whiskey.

"I must say that I am surprised that the award was given to you tonight... However, it would be wrong not to congratulate you." Severus began slowly, as if preventing himself from saying too much. “But…”

“But?” Your voice cut him off, a mixture of excitement and sheer joy at the thought of receiving praise from your dear Professor. This special praise you had been longing for. 

"But-” He sighed as if you had annoyed him, “I object to the fact that my teachings have led you to produce such a grotesque Potion." 

If your eyes had been glued to your glass since the beginning of the conversation fearing to feel butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Severus, you suddenly raised them, eyes wide with surprise. And in your stomach, anger. How dare he humiliate my work like that?

However, you were at a loss for words. He hadn't changed at all, he hadn't even made the effort to wear another suit for the event. He remained the same man as when you left him. Your eyes fell on his face, he had a neutral expression, as if his hurtful words were the most well-deserved ones. His eyes were on you, but because of the dim light and his dark pupils it was impossible for you to discern any judgement within. Otherwise, his hair was still the same length, falling gently over his shoulders, soft… His hooked nose made him look sterner than ever, and the crease between his over-frowned eyebrows did not seem to have increased.

He was still the same man, the one you were so fond of, and that made it more difficult. 

But it was as if you two had evolved in two different time spaces. It had only been two years since you left Hogwarts, and it was certain that the occasional times you ran into a former classmate, they all had trouble recognising you. Obviously, you have grown in maturity through your work. You were no longer a young girl, you were a woman, a lady, with stature and respect. You were even certain that if your name wasn't mentioned at your prize-giving, Severus wouldn't have known who you are. 

"A grotesque potion?” You took back his words, insulted, “You know perfectly well all the work that lies behind it. I explained it in a briefing for the association. You must have read it, right?" You tried to hide the irritation in your voice.

"I read it, of course. And although I must admit that it was all a tremendous amount of hard work... All these efforts, for such a clownish result, is disappointing."

You couldn't help but stare at him in disbelief. You were supposed to be the one to get your revenge tonight. And here you are, in the shoes of the student you used to be in your last year, being jeered for your hard work. His words were harsh, and perhaps because they came from your professor, they hurt you badly. 

"The mere fact that I am the one who taught you everything is even more terrible." He added nonchalantly, bringing his glass to his lips. 

You remained quiet, thinking of all the things you could say to him. After all, he was no longer your instructor, Severus no longer had superiority over you. What can he do now, if I snapped at him? Expel me from Hogwarts? Perhaps, it was the moment for you to confess everything that was weighing on your heart. How his coldness and distance had made you miserable. 

"I thought it was only fair to thank you in my speech." You retorted, "But as far as I can see, you don't even want to be associated with me anymore, even as a mere tutor. Your hatred of me, I don't know where it comes from, but it's all unfair. This was supposed to be my special night. But now you've ruined it.” You hesitated before speaking again, “Like you’ve ruined my seventh year at Hogwarts."

Severus’ face remained as neutral as ever, but in his posture you felt a kind of irritation, he was caught off guard by your curt reply. Well, he must understand that I won't take his nastiness easily anymore. 

However, you took no pleasure in giving him this answer. You had imagined many scenarios about your reunion... You had hoped that he would apologise, show that he felt sorry for having been cold to you, and in the more realistic scenario simply shake your hand, congratulate you and that was it. In no way, had you expected that he would remain so hostile. 

A heavy silence fell between the two of you. His lack of response bothered you further, so you grabbed your glass and finished it straight down. "I'm going to get some air, if anyone is looking for me." Your voice was less angry, as your throat tightened dangerously, poised to burst into tears and it was slightly audible. It was a disaster.

You took your trophy with great care, the only thing that gave you comfort, and left without even bowing to Severus. You were never going to see him again in your life anyway. 

The evening of the association for Potions makers of Great Britain (or simply those with an interest for the discipline), was held in the large manor house of the current Chairman. After escaping from the hall where the main event was taking place, you looked for a way out to the garden. Your heels clicked on the marble floor, echoing in the various empty corridors. The laughter and voices of the party began to fade with each step you took. 

You were getting away from these jealous and condescending people and above all, from Severus. Good, you didn't feel like crying miserably in front of everyone. Your hopes were already destroyed, your ego wasn't going to be the next crime. After a moment, you spotted a windowed door leading to the backyard and quickly rushed to open it, taking a deep breath of air in desperation. 

Stepping out completely, you were pleasantly surprised to discover the lovely atmosphere. The garden was well tended with bushes of various flowers and the grass was green and healthy, while lanterns lightened the path leading to the depths of the garden. You were caught up in the sense of peace and quiet that it gave you, feeling much more comfortable on your own. 

It was summer, late August, school was beginning soon, work was about to restart and the merchants would soon be back in business. But it was already late, the moon was already high in the sky, almost full, and the stars shone brightly in the country sky away from London's city lights. The air was a bit fresh, but cold enough to get your mind back in order without freezing in your evening gown, which was quite revealing… But still elegant and pretty.

Venturing into the garden you finally found a bench to settle down on and think about what just happened, alone. Your eyes lifted to the magnificent starry sky before you, and its darkness made you think of Severus... The way his pupils were fixed on you, the image replayed in your mind... Over and over. You wanted to despise him for his behaviour, he had broken your heart! Not to feed your already distracted mind with lusty thoughts. Did he, at least, appreciate the sight of me in this dress? Your mind began to wander in a dangerous area, and you needed to stop right now.  

Severus had been nothing but spiteful, he hadn't changed for sure, whether it was physically or mentally. And yet... You couldn't hate him in the slightest. It all seemed wrong on his part, as if he was forcing himself. Pushing you away. 

You sighed, it was truly a disaster, you were frustrated with Severus, with yourself. Tonight was about revenge, moving on was the main mission and now you were fantasising all over again, like the flame of your love had been rekindled. 

A tear rolled down your cheek from sheer frustration, disappointment in yourself. Then one tear broke into a silent cry. Were you doomed to love a man you will never see again, who is out of reach and seems to be loathing you? Put like this, it was as if you enjoyed suffering. 

Now, you had no desire to return to the house with the other members, the possibility of running into Snape again and worsening your mental state, made you dread the prospect. Great, he had won and definitely broken your heart. 

It was decided, you were going to stay there, with your trophy in your arms and with a bit of luck you will be able to leave unnoticed by floo powder. The plan seemed reasonable. 

But fate seemed to have decided otherwise. 

You jumped when you heard someone cough to get your attention. You were so deep in thought, your eyes fixed on the sky, that you didn't hear anyone approaching you. Your little moment of peace had been ruined, and you frowned as your eyes fell on the culprit. Severus’ brooding silhouette in the darkness of the garden lived up to his Hogwarts reputation as a bat. 

You sniffed, "What are you doing here? Go away. You've already hurt me enough, there's no need to make it worse, I heard your nasty comments once already." In your pathetic state you asked Severus rather rudely to leave. 

There was a small silence before it was broken by his voice, "Are you crying?"

You couldn't make out his face, so you concluded that he couldn't see yours either. You hesitated between telling the truth or lying before answering, “Why do you care…?” Your voice was weak, in no way hiding the truth. 

“I asked you a question, Y/n” He persisted.

Hearing his voice pronounce your first name, as he used to do when you were in private conversation, made you weak in the knees, much more than you would have liked to acknowledge. 

"I, hum... Yes." You replied, sobbing quietly. Resistance will only make things worse. 

"It's a wonder you've managed to make a respectable place for yourself in the business, with such a weak mind." But unlike earlier his voice was gentler, firm, but gentle. "I've talked a bit with some of your fellow peers, people who have been around you for the past few years. Supporting you in carrying out your work… Believing in this project of yours.” He paused for another moment. 

You didn't know what he was getting at, confusion all over your face. The people you had surrounded yourself with for work were not in attendance tonight. They were mostly former students just like yourself, who had attended the advanced Potions class. If they were absent tonight it is because in their research of Potions, unlike you, they had not managed to produce a viable solution. 

In the darkness, you discerned him taking his place beside you on the bench. The warmth of his body spreading over your arm, allows you to evaluate how close you were to each other. And the answer was easy, very close. You could smell the light scent of his fragrance, a bit musky, the bare skin of your arm was grazing against the thick fabric of his frock coat, and it was a miracle that he was still able to breathe under all those layers in this warm weather. You noticed that it was the first time he was so close to you, usually he would keep his distance. His desk or the potions station had always been a well-respected barrier between the two of you. And thus, it made you a bit timid.

"Well, talking…” He spoke sarcastically to rectify himself, “I’ve exchanged letters with them. Checking on my former students, those you are working with now. Ensuring that everything was going well for you." He emphasised the last part of his sentence. 

And Severus doesn't need to amplify his words, for you to understand what he was implying secretly. 

Severus had checked on you, taking news through his letters over the past two years. 

Each of his words hit you straight in the heart, making it pound faster each time. You thanked Merlin for the obscurity, because between your tears that must have drenched your makeup and the crimson spreading over your cheeks, the sight must be pretty dramatic. 

"Why didn't you send an owl directly to me?" Your voice was still weak, but your tears had ceased. You ran your delicate hand over your cheeks to remove the remaining tears. 

You heard Severus sigh quietly at your question. It took him a while to answer, as if he was tortured to answer honestly or lying, hesitating in the same way you did a few moments ago with his question. “It’s complicated.” Severus opted to be vague, "In any case, I've got nothing but praise for your work or even your person... They like you just the same as they did back at Hogwarts."

You didn't know if your mind was playing tricks on you by wanting to romanticise everything, but in his voice there was a faint hint of nostalgia. Severus' note brought a smile to your lips, "I'm glad to hear that, I appreciate them as well. At least they're not hypocrites like everyone else tonight..." Your honesty seemed to catch what sounded like a quiet chuckle from your former Professor. 

"I must grant you, Y/n... That my words were harsh against you." Severus' voice regained its usual firm tone, "But I must confess, that such a potion, with such utility, surprises me coming from you."

That was what you guessed, his form of apology, and you accepted the way it was. "It is true that in my youth I never showed any interest in Healing Potions. What interested me the most were Poisons... But Amortentia is a poison like any other, in its own way, and research can lead us to expand our minds, can't they?” The fact that Severus knew perfectly your preferences in the area, made it easier to explain. "And then, with hindsight, I'm proud that my invention helps people, rather than killing them."

Severus nodded quietly, indicating that he fully understood the meaning of your words, as you had hoped he would. He seemed to remember all the information you had told him about yourself three years ago. That made you more than happy.  

“‘Sweet juice’, that's how you named it?” He spoke with sarcasm, gently mocking. 

It was your turn to sweetly chuckle, “No! I had originally named it 'Aquae dulcis', from the Latin ‘peaceful liquid’... But for the promotion, I was advised to change the name to a more sales-oriented one, which would fit better with my image as a lady.”

"I was wondering why the name doesn't match you… I've got my answer." He sounded somewhat relieved, "Many people have mentioned the taste." Severus sounded less reticent over your Potion, it was even if he was aware of the feedbacks that were provided in order to boost the pre-sales. 

"Ah- yes, the taste... That's what gives the potion its reputation for being arousing." You sighed a little embarrassed to talk about this with him, “Unlike many Potions, with a disgusting taste… Mine is sweet. The liquid drips slowly down the throat, the taste hooked up everyone wishing to take it. The feeling is strange to describe, and actually I can’t… Like a flame, it all burns, it all gets on, the throat-burning sensation is taboo.” You added the last part of your sentence in a whisper due to the embarrassing nature of your language. It sounded sexual, you must admit. 

Again there was silence and you wished you hadn't said what you revealed about this special taste, fearing that you had gone too far and brought your former teacher into equal discomfort. 

But he answered with an unexpected thought, “I’m curious about the experience.” You caught your breath surprised, not even realising that you had stopped for a moment out of fear,  "No potions so far have managed to ease my nerves. The Draught of Peace made me feel like I was too tired to continue working properly, so I stopped years ago. And if there's one time when I'm extremely irritable, it's at work, or when I'm grading papers… Especially when I grade the papers.” It was as if Severus was 'justifying' himself for wishing to try it. But deep down, some peace would only do him good. 

"Only a few drops then, otherwise you'll regret the tiredness you got from the Draught of Peace when you'll feel aroused during your teaching." Even yourself was surprised by the bold words you used.

Thankfully Severus took less time to answer than last time, "Of course. I'll be careful. I'll give you a personal feedback on my impressions over the next few days following the start of term."

"Send the owl directly to me this time, it would be unfortunate if anyone found out you had an 'uncomfortable issue' because of my Potion." You laughed softly, clearly more comfortable around him. You were both adults now, fellow colleagues in the Potions discipline, you have the right to tease him about the unwanted side effects.

Well, unwanted for Severus’ case. You knew that many were looking forward to taking bigger doses... Precisely to get horny. 

“I will Y/n,” He answered in a tone that seemed to be almost as amused. 

“So… You want it, you want some Sweet Juice?” You ask him, hardly believing that you were asking Severus Snape, your cold former professor, if he wanted a stash of your own (arousing) Potion. 

"If you don't mind, as it will only be sold on the mid-September market, if I understand correctly. I will, of course, pay for anything you may want to send me." He firmly says, 

You shook your head sharply, "Absolutely not, I'll send you these for free as a thank-you. And before school starts, so everything will be ready for you to face those annoying and incompetent first years." 

Severus sighs, a mixture of exasperation and relief. Exasperation because you were strict about him not paying you for anything, relief at the idea of finally having a solution to calm his tense nerves. “Stubborn as ever, I see. You may have changed physically, mentally you’re still the same.”

His little statement had the power to make your cheeks even more flushed. So he noticed that I had changed… That I’m now a lady. “Thank you, I guess?” You had no idea how to reply to that. 

"That's a compliment.” He clarified for you, “You are, indeed, now… Excuse my choice of words- a pretty woman. But besides your appearance, you are blossoming in what you always dreamed of, with a remarkable career start. It's a good thing you've kept parts of yourself intact, fame must not go to your head. But you are a reasonable lady, I know everything will be fine." It was Severus' turn to be a bit awkward with his words.

His compliment went straight to your heart and seemed to soothe all the pain you had felt over the last few years. However, in his tone, Severus sounded as if he wanted to keep his words strictly formal, as he had always done even in your deepest discussions in the past. 

"Thank you Severu- Hm, Snape.” You hated how easy it was for you to say his first name, when he had just corrected you a few moments before. However, he didn't correct you this time, letting that minor error slide. 

You indulged in the peaceful silence that settled between the two of you. The way the conversation had progressed was comparable to the ones you had in the past, if not more comfortable. Two enthusiasts discussing about their favourite subject, trying to understand each other's opinion with respect and interest. Obviously, a formal one, Severus always maintains his distance from you, as if he was always your Professor and couldn't afford to be more. Your hopes were not high on a potential romance with Severus, he was older, your former teacher, mysterious… In the end you know nothing about the man and his job was keeping him busy all year long. However, a friend would be a good start… A rather affordable hope.

In the end, when Severus opted not to act cold, it was as if there hadn't been a rupture in your relationship. The chemistry had returned back in a flash. It made you bitterly regret those three lost years... Besides, you still had no idea of the exact nature of his past harsh attitude. Maybe even tonight was just an exception and the question will never be answered.

However, if Severus ever decided, as he had suggested with his impressions, to exchange letters, perhaps with time you would find the courage to ask him. Now, it would be a bad idea and would ruin the calm atmosphere. 

"Maybe it's time to get back to the party..." Severus offered, his voice not exactly enthusiastic about joining the festivities again as well, "The others will wonder when they notice our absence."

“Right, It would be unfortunate if they started to wonder about our connection..." You laughed lightly, mocking his constant worry about being paired with you. Severus huffed, outraged. 

He stood up, and in the half-light you saw him offering his arm to you, like a gentleman. You took it without hesitation, linking yours to his.

"It's been pleasing tonight…” You spoke quietly, as Severus escorted you back into the manor.

He inhaled shakily before answering, "Yes, I agree. And hearing from you, - personally - is always preferable. I hope this will last in your future letters." 

You smiled at his words, "Obviously, Severus." There was a deep fondness evident in your voice. This time you couldn't help it, saying his first name felt right, and he didn't correct you either. 

-

The October leaves had just fallen, the soft light with its morning rays of sunshine was reaching into your office. The scenery was quiet, peaceful even. And even though you had no reason to be in your office this early, you were waiting for a special occurrence. 

Sweet Juice' had been on the market for almost a month, at various shops in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley, and sales were more than encouraging. In fact, it was a real success. Some minor stock-outs caused even a panic among the sellers when they couldn't satisfy their demanding customers. Everyone was talking about the benefits of your Potion, and how it changed their life.

The money you received was considerable, allowing you to take a break. After two years of hard work, you deserved it. And a new solution cannot be invented that easily anyway. So your days were pretty uneventful, sometimes you were occupied with checking in with the producer, the one you had trusted enough to share the secrets of your mixture, and the sales. Otherwise, most of your days were spent taking care of yourself, enjoying life and, above all, waiting for Severus' letters. 

Currently in your hands, the last letter you received, already dated from the previous week. The other letters, which numbered five, were neatly folded and kept in the first drawer of your desk. Severus' handwriting was as elegant and delicate as ever, and you took great comfort in receiving them. The content was kept formal, but somewhat ‘casual’ or ‘friendly’. Which was a good development. 

The letters were quite brief and mostly structured the same way. Severus would write about his thoughts on Potions, then about his days at Hogwarts, and finally he would reply directly to the contents of the letter he had just received, making his comments on your daily life. 

In each of his answers, you could tell that he was making the effort to maintain the relationship despite the distance. When the first correspondence started, you were quite surprised to see his owl on your windowsill within less than a week. You were pleasantly surprised, expecting to receive a response within a relatively long delay. To be honest, you weren't expecting this much from him, because you know how occupied he is.

Your eyes lingered on the contents of the one you held in your hands. 

Dear Y/n, 

Thank you for the new batch of Potions you have sent me.

I would like to use it sparingly, addiction would be regrettable. So I take precautions, even though the peaceful effect it brings me is always efficient. Being able to sleep properly is, I must confess, a luxury I had not enjoyed until recently. And it's all thanks to you. 

I would say my days at Hogwarts are bearable. Work is draining, as always. 

I hadn’t found a moment to read the book you recommended. I will try to make up for it before my next answer. 

However, I am glad to hear that you are taking the time to have a break. Don't worry if the days can be boring, and you miss work, you need it. Do not become like me, please.

Yours faithfully, 

Severus Snape,

You had lost count, you must have read the contents of the letter ten times already. In fact, every letter you received from Severus was read more than once. It was a forbidden pleasure, but seeing his words specifically directed at you, gives you butterflies in your insides. 

But, you put your mind at rest with the fact that they were just letters and nothing more. It was less severe than when you were seeing him daily, in your student days. It was impossible for Severus to even guess the depth of your feelings towards him, when the only contact the two of you had was a piece of paper and a few words. You weren't likely to offend him or make him feel uneasy with your feelings towards him. So you were living your affection for this man to the fullest in the privacy of your own home. 

Leaning back in your desk chair, while your mind wandered over Hogwarts’ dungeon bat, you heard a tiny clatter against your window. Looking up, a sweet smile came to your lips. Your hands folded the current letter you were reading, folding it carefully and storing it away before standing up to retrieve the new one you had been expecting. 

Severus' owl was just like him, black plumage, piercing eyes. The only thing they did not have in common was their sweetness. When you opened your window, you were immediately greeted by a warm hooting.

“Hey, I hope the journey wasn't too long.” Your voice was almost too mellow for just an owl, and your hand gently stroked the top of its head as you greeted back. With a smile, you carefully untied the letter from its grasp. Once done, you put the envelope on your desk and collected grains to feed the owl. The owl pecked into the palm of your hand, now used to this small ritual. A hoot of gratitude indicated that the mission was accomplished. 

"Return safely to Hogwarts." With a last small pat, you gazed at the black owl as it flew off into the distance, back to its owner. 

Returning to your desk, you opened the envelope carefully and unfolded it. You were surprised to see that the content was longer than usual, twice as long. You didn't remember that your previous answer was that interesting to deserve such a detailed reply... Thus, you hurried to read it. 

Dear Y/n, 

I fear I haven't kept my promise.

I think I underestimated the side effects of your Potion, and this past week I've ‘suffered’ the consequences. A few drops was the dose I set myself to respect every night before going to bed, following your advice and the instructions for its use. Alas, after a particularly difficult day, I wanted to experiment with a higher dosage. I don't need to tell you in detail what it did to me, I think you've already guessed…

But I must, at least, keep our initial agreement, so if you don't object I will give you a report on this new experience. For the sake of the profession. 

The usual few drops prevented me from being able to experience in its fullest, the unique taste of the potion's effects. And I must say congratulations, never in my life have I tasted anything so sweet. The description you gave me a few months ago has stayed in my mind since, and I must say that you were right, nothing can describe how it feels. Heaven? Maybe. On that night, I reached heaven.

I was starving, I was out of control (or so I thought). I was almost unable to bear it, and then, it was time to awaken the sleeping madness in me... 

The hardest part is, I can't blame the Potion. It's almost cruel, but as you said, unlike with Amortentia, I had full power over my body, I wasn't intoxicated or bewitched. I succumbed to my impulses on my own. And… It feels good. 

This followed, of my own accord, a kind of addiction. The nights prior to this uneventful ‘accident’ I made a habit of taking these larger doses, for my own pleasure… Thus, I would conclude the entire experience to be more than enjoyable. 

In the future, I will try to find a balance to avoid abusing what is more than good. For the time being, I'm still enjoying myself. 

However, even if your potion is a miracle, it does not take away all the work I need to complete. 

And I must say, a thought came to my mind. In fact, Dumbledore was the one who suggested it to me years ago. And even if I was reluctant to the idea at first... The prospect feels less unpleasant if you are the one taking on this duty. 

Not wishing to interfere with your precious break, would you like to be my occasional assistant? 

You have the right to refuse, I wouldn't blame you. 

If the answer is positive, the first period I would wish to ask for your help would be mid-November, before the first exams. And that's for a few weeks, maybe for two, more or less. 

Naturally, you'll be welcomed at Hogwarts with all the necessities, a private chamber and a paycheck. But I'll give you the details in due time.

In any case, I will respect your decision and will look forward to receiving your answer, as I always do. 

Yours faithfully, 

Severus Snape,

PS: I trust you to keep this information confidential. 

Your eyes frantically scan the contents of the letter, there is a lot to take in. Your cheeks were flushed, your heart was pounding, the first major piece of information was that Severus was using your potion for his own sexual needs. And while you detected some reserve in his wording, he had admitted it without shame in that letter. You would never have thought Severus capable of speaking in such a way (at least, towards you), even if his words were formal, they were nonetheless heavy with meaning and bold.

You couldn't help it, your mind perfectly pictured Severus. At night, alone, under the pleasurable effect of the Potion. In your fantasy, his face was focused, his eyebrows a bit furrowed, some sweat rolling down his forehead because of the heat. A few strands of his hair would fall into his eyes, but his attention was so focused on the intense pleasure he was experiencing that he couldn't care less. Was he the type to moan? Or to remain silent? Or… Maybe the cravings were so powerful that he would bite his lip to keep quiet. 

At first, his hands would temptingly wander down his body, slowly, carefully, intoxicated by the rising pleasure. Touching himself was a pleasant torture, and as he said himself in the letter, he was unable to stop. Knowing how the potion would affect his senses, his skin must feel sensitive, leaving burning trails with every brush of his fingers over every inch of his skin, over all erogenous parts of his body, making him lose his mind. 

The way Severus’ hands would desperately clutched his already erected manhood, dripping precum with impatience, hoping to reach an orgasm, maybe even one or several. Seeking frantically for friction to satiate his craving, his hips bucked, his hand tightening to increase the contact pressure. The sight must be sumptuous. 

You wondered, for a moment, about the thoughts Severus might have to stimulate his mind. Was the Potion working enough to turn him on? Or was he seeking greater satisfaction with some dirty images? This left you with a real question. And you realised that even after all this time, you knew many things about him, but not at all in such an intimate setting. Which made sense, since most of the time you were his student... The first glimpse you had of this point was the letter.   

And, you're the only one who knows his nightly routine. He trusted you, beyond the fact that you were the creator of the Potion who helped him satisfy his lusts. The mere idea to be in the confidence of this secret, made your knickers wet. 

And even though it was already a lot to process, this was not the only exciting news. Severus asked you, himself, to be his assistant. He even suggested it, because the idea of working with you sounded appealing. You. Of all people, he thought about you. 

You didn't question it, it was decided the moment the information reached your brain. You were going to accept. And how could you turn down the offer when the mysterious and reserved Severus Snape admitted on his own, that he was eagerly expecting your letters…

After years of longing to feel that special feeling again, in one letter Severus had given you a lot. 

-

Returning to Hogwarts was a hope you never thought imaginable. However, a week ago you arrived with a suitcase packed, ready to work. The stone corridors, the moving stairs and even the staff had remained the same. The only change was that instead of sitting at your house table for dinner, you were now placed between Flitwick and Snape. And of course, that most of your time was spent in the dark, damp dungeons of the School brewing Potions, or grading papers. 

Unlike what many might think, working alongside Severus was much more manageable than they might have thought. In any case, with you, he trusted your work enough not to question it. In fact, when you arrived, you were quite worried when you saw the dark circles under his eyes, which were more prominent than you used to remember. And when you became his assistant, you understood why. Severus was a perfectionist, and his teaching methods were all tailored to ensure the success of his students. So your tasks were simple, like preparing the exams, the basics for the Potions that were going to be taught, correcting papers, arranging the ingredients... And while you were just assisting him, within a few days he had managed to find more rest. Something that made you feel better.

Apart from that, the working conditions were quiet and calm. Severus was conversing with you during the simplest of tasks, he didn't seem as tight as usual (in private, at least), what you guessed were the effects of your Potion. At times, it was simply work performed in a comfortable silence. But between you, there was no longer any sign of discomfort or coldness. It was as if it had never happened, actually. 

Well, until today. 

"I wonder..." Severus began his sentence thoughtfully, his eyes focused on the cauldron in front of him, his hands busy chopping up ingredients, "How I used to find time to work and talk to you, back then."

You had a similar task, but unlike him you looked up in surprise. Severus rarely mentioned the past between you, or even the letters you had exchanged the past month. "I don't know either... That's why you stopped in my seventh grade, right?"

You didn't particularly want to mention the subject that had become nearly forbidden with time, namely your cold war. But you felt that under the current circumstances, you were old and mature enough to take it on yourself. Even though you might never get any solid answers about his past behaviour. 

“Y/n, we both know that’s not the truth.” 

Your eyes were still fixed on him, and you didn't know if Severus was too focused on his Potion to realise the implication of his words, or if he really wanted to discuss the issue once and for all. But you weren't going to miss your chance, trying to summon all your courage. "Oh- Really? Those are the excuses you gave me, would you like to tell me the truth then?" You answered casually, trying to play it cool despite your racing heart. Years of seeking the answer, it was as if what haunted you most was finally going to be removed. 

However, the answer did not come as easily as the conversation had started, Severus stopped in his tracks and raised his head to you. His expression was hesitant, or perplexed, you didn't really know. "It was best for us to stop there, that's the real reason." He replies vaguely, his eyes fixed on your face where you stand across the Potion station. 

You frowned, you were an adult now, you could handle and accept the truth. Severus, on the other hand, was being vague, as if putting a finger on what had happened was forbidden. "Are you implying that in our professional discussions, we were going down the wrong path?" You didn't want to tempt him, but getting the truth out of Severus' mouth was more complicated than you expected. 

"Our discussions were nothing professional." He sounded a bit irritated with himself, indeed, the subject was sensitive on both sides. He put a lid on his Potion and dried his hands with a cloth, "We're done for the day, you can leave me." He waved you off, putting an end to the conversation. 

But you stayed in your place, it was as if your feet were frozen to the ground, you couldn't leave. "You are the one who started the conversation. Don't be angry with me." Your voice was quite composed, you weren't afraid to face him. And just like at the event, he seemed stunned by your tone of voice. 

You put the tools down and placed a lid on the Potion in the same way he had just done. "You cannot cut off the discussion and asked me to leave, Severus. You don't know how I've suffered my entire last year because of this, because of you. You can at least look me in the eye and give me a proper answer.” You sighed, as he tried to keep his eyes from looking at you. Perhaps because of guilt. 

"Severus, we can sort this out, and go back to the way things were. But I need an answer, to move on. To be free of this guilt. Did I do something wrong? Was I bothering you so much? Tell me…" You hated how your voice was almost begging. But with every word you said, you could feel it, it was like he was re-building that distance between you. You didn't want to lose him, not that quickly. 

"Severus... Please." You finally decided to move, taking a step towards him, the atmosphere in the classroom had totally changed. But even if the tension was heavy, you weren't going to abandon him, not this time. He did not move as you approached him, however, his face was tense. You hadn't seen him this cold in a while. 

"I can't answer you. Things wouldn't be the same after that.” His voice was harsh, but not offensive. He sounded frustrated with himself, “But… If you want an answer, I must admit I'm not sufficiently secure to reveal my past intentions." 

His words were odd, leaving you confused. The enigma that was Severus Snape was impossible to understand no matter how much time you were spending by his side. Can he give me an answer or not?

Several times your mouth opened in an attempt to answer, but nothing came to your mind. The problem seemed to be stuck. It left you upset. "I... I want an answer." Your words were both hesitant and confident, the statement was, frankly, a bit silly. 

This seemed to amuse Severus, who laughed silently in mockery, warming the atmosphere. “Why are you so…” He paused for a moment as if hesitating, then at last he gave in, "Endearing?” 

His words slammed into your heart, leaving you baffled. But you didn't have time to answer, Severus resumed speaking just as soon, "But, if I can manage to calm myself, maybe I'll be able to talk to you. Does that please you, Y/n?"

You hesitated, understanding what Severus was implying behind those words, 'relaxing' meant taking a few drops of Sweet Juice. And as much as you wanted to keep a respectful image of Severus, the last words written  in his letter about its use stayed in the back of your mind. But, how can I refuse?

"Fine.” You agreed, nodding slowly.

Severus seemed somewhat reassured by your agreement, the walls he was starting to build around himself to push you away, were falling down again. It was his turn to approach you, offering his arm. A habit he'd adopted with every walk you shared at Hogwarts. You took his arm, the gesture had become natural, Severus added, "Follow me."

With that, you walked after him. Severus led you, in the utmost silence. Your heart was pounding, you didn't know exactly what to expect. The path he was taking, staying in the dungeons of the school, made you realise that he was inviting you into his personal quarters, which did not help your state of mind. Every step you made, was a step towards the possible truth. 

Your recent exchange had been unclear, Severus was just as confused by his attitude as you were, you could tell with the look on his face. Torture between two separate decisions: to hate you back or accept what was happening between you two. 

Still in silence, Severus finally arrived, unlocked the door to his quarters and let you in first. It was the first time you had entered, and the surroundings seemed oddly familiar. Everything reflected Severus, with its dark tones and simple, yet elegant furnishings. Your eyes rest on the many books, all meticulously arranged, and then, a little farther away, on the bed. It was impossible to miss the three vials filled with the purple liquid that you had conceived yourself, one of them was nearly empty. The sight of Sweet Juice beside his bed only made your heart flutter, as if it was confirmation that everything he had described to you was, indeed, true.  

"Well, sit on the sofa. I'm coming up with what's needed." Severus breaks the silence as he removes his cloak, stopping your dirty thoughts dead in their tracks.

"Yes, of course." You nodded, quite flustered, and you did what you were asked as you sat down on the couch, next to the fireplace and the bookcases. Your eyes followed Severus' actions as he made his way to his bed, lighting the fireplace with his wand as he passed. 

He came back with a new bottle of Sweet Juice in his hands, and sat without discomfort at your side. "Do you use it daily as well?" He asked you, an undeniable curiosity in his voice. 

"Um... No, I just tested it on myself a while ago before I submitted the notice. I have no use for it." You looked at him blankly, you didn't know what Severus was trying to find out with his question, "So, it was only for professional purposes." You added rather quickly, in case he wondered if you too were finding sexual satisfaction through its use. 

"Well, this will be the occasion to taste it again then." His hands opened the bottle carefully, and with some skill showing how familiar he was with its use. 

You looked at him, confused by his words, "I don't intend to take it, you said you were the one who needed it to speak honestly." 

"I think it's wiser for you to take it, to learn the truth. I don't want you to get mad at me." He replied with his calm voice, "Don't you trust me?" He raised an eyebrow with his usual expertise in the motion. 

Of course you trusted him, the question didn't have to be asked. And right now, with all the tension in your body from the pressure of the whole situation, you had to agree. He was right, it was wiser if the both of you were in the same state to discuss. "Fine, but only a few drops..."

Severus nodded, "A few drops will be more than enough."

You reached for the vial, but Severus placed his hand on your chin before you could get your hands on it, and directed your face in his direction. “Open your mouth, please Y/n.” 

His eyes were fixed on you, you felt like melting under his gaze, so intense was it. You couldn't ignore the intimate intensity of the situation, your cheeks were starting to burn. The scenario was far more pleasant than anything you could have imagined in your dirtiest dreams. 

Without even adding anything, you parted your lips for him. Severus seemed satisfied with your willingness, and put the eyedropper to let a few drops fall from it. A promise he kept. And even though it was only a few drops, the taste burned in your throat, taking effect as soon as it was swallowed. It was addictive, sweet… Divine. A tickling sensation settled in your body, you felt perfectly fine, as if your body had never felt any tension. 

Severus watched your every reaction, his hand still on your chin, you felt like your skin was burning under his fingers, "Well. You seem to be reacting well."

He withdrew his hand and this gesture left you with a feeling of need. Your eyes never left him for a second as you watched him perform the same operation with himself. His previously tense face, softened in an instant. To have Severus so effortlessly relaxed was quite an exclusive sight. He trusted you enough to be so vulnerable without shame, in front of you. It made you smile.

"Y/n, I've been intending to talk to you about this for a while, it weighs on me just as much. I'm sorry for the way I acted," Severus began quietly. 

Hearing him apologise was strange, he was such a proud man. It made you happy, because while he was under the effect of the potion, he was still aware of what he was doing or saying. He was not controlled by the Potion, in front of you there was a sincere and apologetic Severus. One of the many facets you were starting to find out about this very mysterious man. 

"I apologise as well, I wasn't always straightforward." You matched his gentle tone, 

Severus shook his head, "You were not the problem, I handled the situation very poorly. It's all my fault, I hurt you." He put his hand over his face, ashamed, "When, in fact, that's all I wanted to avoid... It haunted me, until I saw you again a few months ago. I wanted redemption, to make sure you were fine without me... But, I’m selfish as I am taking a role in your life again,” He sighed hopelessly, “There's still this guilt in me.”

Hearing Severus speak with such regret, made your heart grow fonder for the man, you couldn't fault him. He had suffered the same pain from his choices, he acted in order not to lose his teaching position, in order to not deprive you of a possible 'happy' life. And even if the Potion worked miracles, guilt and pain couldn't be erased. You wanted to reassure him, to remove this pain from him, to leave it in the past. "Severus, I only wish to understand what I did wrong..." You whispered, your eyes focused on the buttons that fastened his cutaway coat.

The more minutes passed, the more the Potion worked through your body. The sensation was odd, like a kind of ache, but it was unmistakably delightful. This only served to reinforce your self-consciousness about the situation, your body tickled everywhere, straining, trembling, longing to be close to him. 

"You have done nothing wrong... As the days went by, my regard for you changed. Your radiant smile, the way your eyes brighten at my every word, the way your perfume intoxicates me when it stays in the classroom, your delicate hands working with agility... All of this, I should never have noticed, and yet, I couldn't help but feel captivated. Charmed because of what you were, and still are, in fact." 

He slowly pulled his hand away from his face. But, you didn't want to leave him in his demise, so you laid your hand on his as he lowered it, encouraging him to continue. "I wasn't blind, I knew the feeling you held for me. I believed it was for the benefit of the both of us. But after rejecting you, I was terribly missing you. Inside me, it built up a terrible guilt…” He paused for a moment before concluding, “And without realising it, I was feeling the same way about you."

Severus gently takes your hand in his, as if you were a delicate flower, or would disappear at any moment. His gaze is now focussed on both your joined hands, "Since, I haven't stopped thinking about you, night and day. Seeing you again... Was a breath of hope, I thought impossible. And even though you sounded different, like you were angry with me, I couldn't help but appreciate you. I soon realised that despite all my efforts, pushing you away a second time was beyond me... Beyond my strength."

He intertwined his fingers with yours, "You can hate me, yell at me. I hurt you and yet, selfishly you're here with me, instead of enjoying what life has to give you. I’m older, grim, and stern. I don't deserve you."

As he confessed, what you were focused on, was the heavy pounding of your heart ringing in your ears. The intensity of his emotions was heartbreaking, as you listened to him. 

Your body's reaction to his was overwhelming, everything seemed like a raging fire that neither of you wanted to quench. The sensation of his own skin against yours only made it burn harder, leaving you with an insatiable urge of need and want. Your body knew what it wanted, the heat started to build up in the lower part of your stomach.

"I- Severus… I'm sorry that I was angry with you, when you were trying to do the right thing. I had no idea how you might be feeling on your own. But today, everything has changed, I’m not your student anymore.” You spoke with all the determination you could muster to prove him wrong, “And I don't care what life has to offer, if you are older. I know what I want. And it’s you.” 

“It's only been a few weeks since I've been back with you, and I've never felt so happy. I feel alive.” Your cheeks flushed hot at your blunt words, “And to be honest, the club, the award, Sweet Juice, I did it all, to get your attention. I wanted to be special to you again."

"Come," Severus uttered in a deep, rumbling voice. His hand, the one that was already holding you, pulled you towards him, and his other hand guided your hips as he gently settled you on his lap, straddling him. The way your body easily accepted his request, was a reflection of how much you wanted to be with him, to be close to him. 

"I wanted to move on, to forget you, but it was impossible. But nowadays, as I am closer to you..." Your eyes fell on his face, Severus seemed to be listening to you with such intensity, that coupled with this sudden intimacy caused you to speak in a shaky breath, "I burn and my body is feeling new things, and the intensity is only growing, nearly out of control. I can't think anymore, you're always on my mind…- I just want to be close to you, like I've always hoped." Your voice died down near the end, admitting your deepest thoughts. You were nervous, the aching sensation started to get on your nerves, overflowing with desire for the man in front of you.

His hands gripped your clothes, as if to remind you that he was indeed there, by your side. You were taken aback by the violent wave of emotions that flashed through his eyes. Severus had said nothing after your own confession, but there was no need for him to speak in order for you to understand. His eyes were speaking for him. Need, lust, desperation, want, longing- And most strikingly, love. His hands clasped your face, leaving you no choice but to lock your eyes with his. You couldn't escape the impact of his emotions, of the intense waves crashing over you nearly suffocating you. And the truth is, you had no desire to avoid him. 

It was as if time had stopped, his beautiful face, his lovely hands, the wildness in his eyes, and the way he made you feel was beyond description. 

"I love you," He exhaled as his thumb stroked your cheek. It felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest, 

Your fingers found his shoulders, pressing into the soft fabric of his coat, “I love you as well,” You answered, the same weight disappearing from your heart. 

The affirmation of your feelings towards him seemed to ignite something new in Severus. His thumb went down to your lips, running it over them, "You know, I thought about you as my assistant not only because you're the smartest, most diligent and serious person I know to handle the task perfectly," He spoke in a low grumble that made your whole body quiver, "But also because every night as I took a stronger dose of that delicious elixir you conceived, I always find myself thinking about you. I found satisfaction only when I thought of you.” 

He sighs, "I must admit that if you're here, it's also because I couldn't bear to keep all this to myself, I had to confess. I wanted to see you again, terribly."

“I’m here Severus, I’m here for you and only you.” You replied hurriedly in order to reassure him.

He took a deep breath, your words seemed to have reached his heart, "Maybe it's a bit premature, but I should ask you."

It sent a ripple of delight through your entire body, increasing the desperation you had to be against him, “What do you want to ask me, Severus?”

Your question, perhaps somewhat naive given the situation, brought a smile to his lips, “Would you like to make love with me?” The question was phrased extremely graciously, contrasting dramatically with the ferocity of his eyes. 

Your body shivered under his powerful stare. Your reply was obvious, and yet in the warmth of his body, in the puddle of intensity that Severus was bathing you in, you were at a loss for words. He looked at you like a hunter ready to chase down his prey, your consent was all he needed for him to pounce on you. It should have worried you, but behind his raging stare were years of self-restraint and pain. You felt more than special, being loved by such a cold and distant man made you feel like you were the only one in this wide world, the one and only for him. 

You couldn't make him wait any longer, it was torture for him as much as it was for you. So you nodded, silently at first, then you found the courage to finally voice your need, "Yes, Severus, I do."

He smiled again, it was a delightful sight to see Severus smiling, and you took a moment to observe him as if to commit the image to memory. It was so infrequent, that you were pleased to know that you were the only one to be blessed by it. He was perfect, you could do nothing but kiss him. Passionately, freely, desperately. There was nothing anymore to stop you from doing it. You tasted him, setting all your senses on fire. You licked the inside of his mouth, as his tongue linked with yours in an intoxicating dance that only the both of you seemed to know. The scent and taste of him captured all your senses, and you couldn't stop humming with delight as it resonated through your chest from the pleasure of kissing him. 

In that first kiss, you feel it all. 

Both of his hands clasped your face tightly to keep you close to him as your hands trailed through his long hair, down to his neck. The warmth that radiated from him made your flesh flush, your heart pounding so hard in your chest that even Severus should be able to feel it. He tasted like heaven. 

He skillfully guides you, allowing you to get lost in his adoration. One hand gently grasped your throat, while his other hand travelled from your cheek over your neck, down to your waist where his arm snaked around to press your body against his in a secure embrace. 

Severus didn't break the kiss, as he stood up, carrying you in his arms. Your eyes were closed, allowing you to get completely absorbed in the feverish kiss, but you knew he was heading for his bed. The next moment, your body found its place against the soft fabric of his sheets, enveloping you once again in his wonderful manly scent. Wrecking you, in the most pleasing ways possible. 

You moaned into his mouth as your fingers tugged his hair a bit tighter, Severus growled at your action, searing your whole being from you body to your soul. You were desperate for more, to see him, to touch him, to feel him. Your clothes were simply a suffocating barrier that separated you from Severus. Your irritation didn't seem to escape Severus as he broke off the feverish kiss you two were sharing. 

You finally opened your eyes, to be greeted by a dishevelled and flushed Severus. You were both out of breath, panting. However, he was quick to lay another kiss on the exposed skin of your throat. Sweetly, lovingly, small kisses from the tip of his lips teasing you, all dripping with desire.

"Love, you're perfect," He hummed against your neck as he gently nuzzled his nose against it to inhale your fragrance. You were like in heaven, your blood was running through your veins, your stomach transformed into butterflies out of worship for him. 

His hands ran along your body, before undoing the button on your skirt. Your thighs were released quickly from the constraint that your clothes provided you as he dropped the first piece of fabric on the floor. Your hands hesitantly passed over his upper body, your fingers delicately unfasten the buttons of his coat. Once done, your hands grabbed the lapels of his coat to let it fall over his shoulders, quickly meeting your skirt on the floor. 

Severus certainly was consumed by an insatiable urge, never getting enough of you. His lips never leave you, trailing against your jaw, nibbling your earlobe. His warm breath left your sensitive skin tingling with delight. Your hands were slightly trembling as you began to reach for his shirt, while his hands reached for the rest of your clothes with utmost care. 

The clothes that had been a painful barrier, began to strip from your bodies, slowly, teasingly. Falling one by one on the floor. Severus leaned on his arm as he took a few steps back, your breath caught with worry and missing his warmth. His eyes roamed over your body, in an intimidating powerful manner. You had never felt so vulnerable and exposed, only covered by your underwear, his intense gaze left a heavy feeling on everything you could offer him. 

However, you didn't have time to think for long when his lips captured yours. “Perfect,” He whispered as his eyes met yours. With burning cheeks, you averted your eyes. You could not hold his gaze, so much the intensity of his emotions caught your heart. His pupils were dilated, too wild, too fiery. 

Your reaction left Severus laughing in a deep breath, "You really are more lovely than anything I could have imagined. My mind didn’t do you justice, love.” The gentle title he gave you made your heart beat faster, and as your hands were pressed against his chest you sensed the intense pounding of his as well. Both your hearts were beating in perfect tune. 

Your hands began to undo the upper part of his shirt, releasing his neck from his stiff attire. You were still shaking, but proceeded nonetheless. There was only a layer left before you could see him as vulnerable. Severus waited, letting you take all the time you needed to finish. And the next thing you knew, you were pulling his shirt off his shoulders in the same way you'd done before. 

You marvelled at the sight in front of you, your breath caught in your throat at the sheer beauty of Severus, his broad shoulders, his pale pearly skin, his strong arms were now at your total disposal. You gave yourself a moment to appreciate the one you've craved for, over the years.

"Perfect," You whispered with the same adoration he had for you, your fingers spread over his bare skin, temptingly. You were amazed at the softness of his body despite his strength, he, who held himself so rigidly in his daily life. 

"Not as much as you, love," Severus left a warm kiss on your cleavage and his hands found the clasp of your bra as your hands found down his trousers. He removed the rest of his clothes at the same time as you.

Your skin was flushed, your breaths quick and uneven with anticipation. It's a good thing you had taken a few drops of Sweet Juice, otherwise you would have been a nervous wreck. This allowed you to handle the whole experience with confidence, coupled with your trust in Severus, it was pure bliss. And this must have been the case for Severus, because behind his expert strokes, he seemed a bit unsure with himself. 

Your skin burned under his every touch, letting the fire spread over your skin down to your trembling, hot, insides. You were wet, swollen and soft. Severus sat on his knees, between your legs. The action left your body screaming with desperation, arching with anticipation for more, for him. Until now, you had not dared to lower your eyes to the level of his girth, but now it was time to get acquainted with what was about to enter you. Your breath was taken away at the sight of his long, veiny and erect manhood. That’s going inside of me?

"Love, I'll be gentle with you," Severus sensed your apprehension immediately, his hands gently resting on your knees to spread your legs leaving your body on high alert. He leaned forward, and placed a first kiss on your jaw, then another one on your breast, before his mouth wrapped around your already hard nipples to sweetly suck on it. 

You didn't know if you'd taken a sufficiently large dose of the Potion for it to play on your sexual sensibilities, but you gasped. The feeling of his soft lips over your most forbidden body parts was exhilarating, your insides tensed. Your breasts were sensitive, responsive to every lick he gave. You were blown away by the way your body fit to him, catching his slightest touch. And as if he wasn't satisfied enough with himself, he moved his hand up from your hip, running teasingly along your skin to find your nipple, toying with it, pinching it. You couldn't help but moan, the sensation strains you again, leaving you longing for more. Your mind failed to follow, a wave of pleasure overtaking your whole body. Everything felt heightened, the sound of Severus' sharp breath, his tongue, his touch, his scent. Even the cotton of his sheets was seemingly intense. 

Severus let out a long, deep growl from the back of his throat, and it made your whole body shudder. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, ready to welcome him. He understood the sign, but continued to whisper his words of adoration, of love for you. How he had dreamed of this for years, that he didn't want to be apart from you anymore. His words that met the hollow of your ear, made you feel in a whirlwind of emotions, cherished and safe. You held on to him, your arms reaching around his shoulders. 

He wanted to slowly devour you, until your rational thoughts were consumed by pleasure.  

“Sev,” You breathed out a long, deep moan as his finger slid inside you. You were soaking wet at this point, drenched for him. His finger stroked your insides, his thumb brushed against your sensitive bundle of nerves while his lips lingered on your throat, placing numerous small kisses. 

“You are perfect,” He hummed out, right by your ear, “Perfect for me,” His nose dragged along your skin, in the hope of finding a new spot to kiss. He pressed another finger into you. Your legs tightened while your insides softened further. The stretching of his fingers was astounding. “You are the only one for me, I love you,” His words shattered everything, all the common sense you had in you. You wanted him to ruin you with his love. In a manner as violent as the emotions you had for each other, giving him everything, everything you ever had. 

Removing his fingers, your eyes fell on his hand as it darted back and forth between his legs. You gasped as his delicate hand folded around the girth of his manhood. "Love, I'm here. It's going to be fine. Tell me if you don't feel well, I'll stop," he hummed softly as he laid back against you, pressing his body over yours. You nodded, and his lips found yours anew. 

You felt his body lowering, and the next instant, he was sinking inside you. You hissed from the pleasure that suddenly caught hold of you. There was no discomfort, no pain, your body adapted, moulded itself to him. Your body was being taken by Severus, and everything at that moment, finally being one with him, felt right. 

“Look at me,” He ordered you gently, holding himself up with one arm, ready to move. When your eyes met his, you were immersed in the depth of his love. You felt calm, in heaven, as you were shaped to accommodate him. He was the only one in this world, especially when he was looking at you with such worship. 

“Good,” He smiled in satisfaction when you complied. Your eyes were hypnotised by all the love he bore you. He began to draw out, slowly. And as with your skin, your insides were just as sensitive causing electricity to run through your body, sending a shiver down your spine. His gaze intensified as he began to move a bit faster, his movements always precise and well controlled, making it more intense. 

Catching his breath, Severus kept praising you, “You, are, magnifi-cent,” He growled in a low tone, between thrust as you moaned out his name in a barely comprehensible manner. You find satisfaction in being filled and stroked, to be loved in such a carnal manner, it was intense, overwhelmingly intense. He was everywhere, he was everything to you. 

“Sev-, Severus, I love you!” Your voice was slurred, your mind was unable to form a coherent thought, and yet you felt the urgent need to confess your love all over again. At your words, he quickened his pace and buried himself inside you, over and over.

You were consumed by him, by his love, by your love for him. You were his, and he was yours. Entirely, irrevocably, ineluctably. There was no other way. Severus was breaking everything you owned, and it felt right. With every push, with every pull, with his loving hands, with his loving words, with his hungry breath, he was breaking you.

“Please,” You pleaded for him, a moan escaping through your sore lips. His movements became powerful, irregular, hasty. As if to satisfy you as much as possible, even if he was exceeding all your wishes, pushing your mind to the edge of depravity with each of his thrusts. 

“Love,” He growled in a feverish manner, as if he had been entrusted with the most valuable mission possible, to please you. He shoved in so deeply that your eyes rolled back and watered from the sensation of being nothing but completely filled. You back arched in pleasure, welcoming the emotion in its fullest. 

“Awh-” You gasped as he started to pace harder, faster. Your legs were quivering from the pleasure, your lungs burned from your moans. He held onto you tighter, in order to be able to dig into you with more vigour. Over and over. It was relentless. His need for you became beyond desperate and engulfed him into the same depravity. 

“I love-, you,” He moaned darkly under his gruff breath, “I can’t-” He growled this time, in a low rumbling. His movements became irregular, erratic. 

You kissed his neck, inhaling his sweaty scent and the taste of his skin stirred in your mouth. “Me too-” You whispered, in a rather dark tone, meeting his love and distress at the same time. 

“Y/n-!” He growled, and after a split second, you felt him growing within you, as his whole body tightened, hardened. His cock shifted faster inside you, pounding against your inner walls. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and moans his release before his movements come to a slow halt. 

Ripples of heat mingled with the throbbing of muscles and the warmth of the skin inside you. You held him close and marvelled at the sensation of your orgasm, of being filled and being enough for him to reach such a fierce release. To be enough for him to love you, to be enough for him to be so intimate with you. 

You caught your breath, you were in a state of pure bliss. The last waves of pleasure take over your body, making the pleasure last longer. Severus withdrew from you, leaving you with a longing that he satisfied by taking you in his arms enjoying your post-orgasm state.

He placed a kiss on your sweaty forehead as he affectionately snuggled you pressing your body against his. After the intense encounter you'd just experienced he still longed to feel your burning skin against his. “I love you,” He said it again, as if he needed to prove it to you, but you knew by now that his affection towards you was wrenching. 

"I love you more," you lay your head against his chest, letting the sound of his heart lull you to sleep as it only started to calm. His soft laughter vibrated through his rib cage, 

"I doubt it, love, but this is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is another day, a day when I can finally enjoy you without any rules or barriers," Severus sounded enthusiastic, he pulled the blanket over both of your naked bodies and took his wand to stop all sources of fire from making any light. 

His uncharacteristic lively tone brings a peaceful smile to your lips, you are now the one that makes Severus eager to wake up in the morning, to carry on with his life. He was your source of happiness, and you were his. 

After years of trying to understand everything between the two of you, you were now in his arms. 

Peaceful. 

Loved.

I am warm and full and cozy and thinking about Bucky who has gotten a few pounds on his stomach, not bc he has to bulk for a mission or anything but bc he's save and get three square meals and a snack every day. Lots of love and a pie on Sunday. The dream honestly

Answering this on a Monday but I feel very cozy about it!

Just Right

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky learns to love food again, and his body.

Word Count: Over 750

Warnings: Mentions of HYDRA, recovery, body positivity, reference to oral sex, bit of humor, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: I may need to do more of this, and much appreciated for the inspiration @v-wie-was. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky who was now able to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with snacks in between each meal and dessert after dinner, which took some getting used to.

Bucky who didn’t get to overindulge in foods he enjoyed while he was under HYDRA’s control. He was given enough to maintain his strength and nothing more and he never decided on what they provided. 

Bucky who, when he thought about it, didn’t get to enjoy food since before he went off to war. He ate to sustain and survive and nothing more.

Bucky who had to learn all over again what he liked and disliked once he was free. Being able to choose was overwhelming and he almost broke down the first time he bought plums simply because he wanted them.

Bucky who with his heightened senses learned to appreciate certain smells and tastes and learned which places to avoid so it didn’t feel like sensory overload. He also learned which flavors he could never get enough of and which ones he could only handle in small doses.

Bucky who had to figure out how much he could eat to feel full and not stop because of his old programming. He also told himself not to feel guilty if he had a few more bites because it was more than allowed.

Bucky who met you at the store one day when you both reached for the same plum. That day changed his life. 

Bucky who, like a gentleman, let you have the plum and couldn't stop staring at you since you were so beautiful. 

Bucky who couldn't think of a witty reply when you boldly offered him your phone number in return, so he gave you an awkward smile that you found endearing.

Bucky who was happy you took a chance since you were easy to talk to. You also taught him that food emojis could be… taken a certain way, which he learned when he sent an eggplant and peach together.

Bucky who couldn’t find it in himself to feel embarrassed because he was talking about food, and he wanted you.

Bucky who enjoyed cooking with you and smiled wistfully when he thought about his family. How his mom always put so much love into her cooking. 

Bucky who made a mess of his shirt one day because he was trying to eat something messy and read at the same time. And you groaned because you had just finished laundry earlier.

Bucky who grew to appreciate messes like that because they felt normal.

Bucky who noticed almost immediately when his clothes began to fit differently, eventually to the point where they were too snug.

Bucky who felt slightly worried when he told you his clothes were too tight and had to go shopping. He wanted to be attractive to you.

Bucky who felt his heart swell when you not only told him he looked good no matter what but offered to go shopping with him. 

Bucky who felt handsome trying on new clothes since they fit properly and just right. The confidence grew when he saw your pupils dilate more and more with each outfit he tried on.

Bucky who also heard your heart race faster and smelled your arousal.

Bucky who didn’t get to make it home before you dropped to your knees to worship him. You made sure to place extra kisses on his stomach on your way down.

Bucky who hardly let people touch him, but welcomed your touch and let you paint him like a canvas with your love and desire. 

Bucky who had a huge smile on his face after the mind-blowing orgasm you gave him along with a promise of pie for dessert. He wanted you for dessert, too.

Bucky who associated certain foods with you because, like you, they brought him joy, comfort, and were downright delicious. 

 Bucky who stood in the kitchen while he waited for dinner to cool off and looked down at his stomach with a smile, reminding himself that any extra pound was just more of him to love and you’d love him no matter what. 

Bucky who thought about how comfortable he was in his skin because he was healthy and able to make his own choices. 

Bucky who gazed at you from across the room and couldn’t believe this was his life, that he found peace, happiness, and love. 

Bucky who was crazy about you and couldn't imagine a meal without you. Or his life.

And Bucky who finally felt safe and free. 

Okay, lovelies, what do we think his favorite dessert is? Besides you. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how clever some of their usernames are

How BTS just suddenly popped out with individual IGs

Hi, this is a request for

MARVEL MULTIVERSE - The Game

I am very interested in Greek mythology AU with Sam Wilson. (Female reader.)

I don't know how much you had planned for it but if you don't have anything planned for now this is what could work: (If you already had something planned, ignore this ^^)

Maybe a slight rivals to lovers? As I have something on the side with him cooking about an OC also using wings but as an owl, maybe something around that.

Thank you :D ✒️

WISDOM

⤷ SAM T. WILSON

ᯓ★ Pairing: Sam T. Wilson x fem!reader

ᯓ★ Genre: romance, action, fantasy

ᯓ★ Request from: MARVEL Multiverse

ᯓ★ Story type: one shot

ᯓ★ Word count: 5.6k

ᯓ★ Summary: you and Sam never really got along, but maybe things between you two will change if you have to go on a quest together

ᯓ★ TW(s): nothing

ᯓ★ Hi guysss!! I'm back! the fever finally healed and I'm back stronger than ever!!

ᯓ★ Comment if you want to be added to the taglist (specify if you want the everything taglist or for a specific character)

ᯓ★ My Masterlist

ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo

ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language

The sun dips low over the horizon, a burning ember casting its last golden light across the sprawling cliffs of Mount Olympus. The air is thick with the scent of wild thyme and sun-warmed stone, the distant crash of the sea below a steady rhythm that pulses through the ancient land. You perch at the edge of the precipice, your talons scraping against the rock as your feathers ruffle in the evening breeze. You’ve always preferred this hour—when the day begins to yield to the velvet quiet of night. It is yours, as much as the wings on your back or the keen edge of your sight.

The humans below are lighting their lamps, preparing offerings to the gods. Some, no doubt, will be meant for you. They always pray to you for wisdom, for guidance in the dark. An owl’s keen vision, they say, pierces the shadows where secrets hide. It’s a role you fulfill willingly. Not for them, but for the small spark of satisfaction it brings—to know that when they’re lost, they seek you out.

The sudden rush of air behind you draws your attention, your senses flaring in instinctive alarm. A moment later, a figure lands with an easy grace, the wide sweep of wings folding neatly against a broad back. The feathers gleam dark in the fading light, their edges tipped in a soft bronze that catches the sun’s last rays. You sigh before you’ve even turned to face him.

“Sam,” you say, your voice flat, though your pulse has quickened. “What are you doing here?”

He grins, his expression annoyingly smug. He’s always grinning, as if the world exists solely to amuse him. You’ve often wondered how he can carry such irreverence in the face of divinity—as if being chosen as the God of the Sky is a casual affair, not a mantle that demands respect.

“Can’t a guy enjoy the view?” he says, spreading his arms wide to indicate the sweeping vista behind him. “Figured you might appreciate some company out here, Wisdom.”

You bristle at the nickname. “I don’t need company.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he says, eyeing your solitary perch. “What is it with you and the whole lone-sentinel act? You’re not the only one with wings around here, you know.”

“Your wings are showy,” you snap, your gaze flicking to the sleek expanse of feathers at his back. “Built for speed and spectacle. They’re nothing like mine.”

“Showy?” He places a hand over his chest, feigning offense. “I’ll have you know these wings have saved countless mortals from storms, fires, and the occasional poorly aimed lightning bolt. But sure, let’s call them showy.”

You roll your eyes, turning back to the horizon. He always knows how to needle you, to find the exact tone of teasing that leaves you balancing precariously between irritation and… something else. Something you refuse to name.

“What do you want, Sam?”

“You’re no fun, you know that?” he says, stepping closer. His voice softens, just enough that it brushes against your defenses. “I wanted to see if you’d heard.”

“Heard what?” you ask, though you keep your gaze fixed on the distant horizon. You don’t trust him when he’s like this, his usual bluster replaced with something quieter, something that stirs a strange ache in your chest.

“Zeus has called another council.”

Your feathers twitch, betraying your annoyance. “He always calls councils. Half the time, it’s just to hear himself talk.”

“This one’s different,” Sam says, his tone serious now. “Word is, there’s trouble brewing in the mortal world. Something… unnatural.”

That catches your attention. You turn to face him fully, your sharp gaze locking onto his. “Unnatural how?”

“That’s what we’re supposed to find out,” he says. “But you know how these things go. A lot of posturing, a lot of blaming, and not much else.”

“And you came here to warn me?” you ask, suspicion lacing your words. “Why?”

He shrugs, the movement casual, though there’s a flicker of something in his expression that you can’t quite place. “Maybe I figured you’d want a heads-up. Or maybe I just wanted to see the look on your face when I told you.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re predictable,” he shoots back, the grin returning to his lips. “Come on, Wisdom. Don’t tell me you’re not even a little curious.”

You hate that he’s right. You’ve always prided yourself on being above his games, on keeping your distance from his reckless charm. But there’s a spark of intrigue now, a question that won’t be ignored. If there’s something unnatural threatening the mortal world, it’s your duty to understand it, to face it. And if that means enduring Sam’s presence… well, you’ve faced worse challenges.

“Fine,” you say, your voice clipped. “But don’t think this means I’m going to tolerate your nonsense.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says, though the mischievous gleam in his eyes tells you otherwise.

The two of you take flight together, your wings slicing through the cooling air as the night deepens around you. You’ve flown alongside him before, but it’s never felt quite like this. The tension between you is a thread pulled taut, vibrating with each beat of your wings. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, noting the ease with which he moves, the confidence in every motion. It’s infuriating, how effortless he makes it seem.

“Try to keep up, Wisdom,” he calls over the rush of wind, and before you can reply, he dives, a blur of dark feathers and laughter.

You grit your teeth and follow, your wings folding against your sides as you plummet after him. The air tears past you, and for a moment, there’s nothing but the sheer exhilaration of the fall. Then you snap your wings open, catching the wind and leveling out beside him. He glances at you, his grin wide and triumphant.

“Not bad,” he says, and you resist the urge to wipe that smug expression off his face.

The two of you streak across the sky, the world below a patchwork of shadows and faint light. You’ve always felt most alive in the air, where the burdens of divinity seem to fall away. And yet, with Sam beside you, there’s an edge to that feeling, a sharpness that leaves you breathless in a way you don’t quite understand.

When you reach the council chamber, the air is thick with tension. The gods are gathered in a semi-circle, their voices a low hum of discontent. Zeus stands at the center, his presence commanding as always, though his expression is grim.

“You’re late,” Athena says as you and Sam enter, her sharp gaze flicking between the two of you.

“Blame him,” you say, jerking a thumb in Sam’s direction.

“I’ll take full responsibility,” Sam says, his tone light, though his posture is respectful. “Wouldn’t want to tarnish her impeccable reputation.”

Athena sighs, clearly unimpressed, and turns her attention back to Zeus. “Shall we begin?”

Zeus nods, his voice booming as he addresses the assembly. “Mortals have been whispering of strange occurrences. Crops failing overnight, rivers running dry in hours, creatures appearing where they should not exist. These are not the workings of the Fates, nor of any god in this room. Something is amiss.”

The murmurs grow louder, and you exchange a glance with Sam. For once, his expression is serious, his brow furrowed as he listens. It’s a rare thing, to see him so focused, and it sends a ripple of unease through you.

Zeus continues, his gaze sweeping the room. “We must discover the source of this disruption. I will require volunteers to investigate.”

Before you can think better of it, you step forward. “I will go.”

Sam steps forward as well, his voice steady. “So will I.”

The room falls silent, and you can feel the weight of their gazes on you. Zeus nods, his expression approving. “Very well. The two of you shall go together. Find the source of this disturbance and put an end to it.”

You glance at Sam, your heart sinking. Of course it had to be him. This mission was going to be difficult enough without his infuriating presence. But there’s no turning back now. The path ahead is set, and you have no choice but to walk it—or fly it—together.

The mortal world feels strange as you and Sam step into its realm. Your wings, bound and hidden beneath heavy cloaks, feel unnatural, almost stifled. Every step on the uneven dirt road reminds you of the limitation you’ve imposed on yourself for this mission. Beside you, Sam walks with an easy stride, as if being forced to ground himself doesn’t bother him at all.

“You’re quiet,” he says, his voice low enough to blend with the evening breeze.

“Observation requires silence,” you reply curtly, your eyes scanning the horizon. The village where you’re supposed to start your investigation is just ahead, its cluster of thatched-roof houses dimly lit under the fading light of the sun.

Sam chuckles softly. “You can’t just say you don’t want to talk to me?”

“I thought that much was obvious.”

Despite your tone, his grin widens. He always seems amused when you’re short with him, which only irritates you more. But there’s no time for bickering now. The closer you get to the village, the heavier the air feels, thick with unease. You glance at Sam, and his face is serious for once, his jaw tight as he surveys the scene ahead.

The two of you enter the village cautiously, careful to keep your steps measured and your faces neutral. The streets are nearly deserted, and the few people you see hurry past without making eye contact. It’s a stark contrast to the lively villages you’re accustomed to, where mortals chatter and laugh late into the night.

“Something’s definitely wrong here,” Sam mutters, his gaze flicking between the shadows.

You nod. “We’ll find out more in the morning. For now, we need somewhere to stay.”

It doesn’t take long to find the village’s only inn, a small, creaky building with a faded sign swinging above the door. The innkeeper eyes you suspiciously as you step inside, his gaze lingering on your cloaks. You lower your hood slightly, revealing just enough of your face to disarm him.

“Travelers?” he asks, his voice gruff.

“Yes,” you reply. “We need a room for the night.”

His eyes dart to Sam, then back to you, before he nods. “Only one left.”

You sigh internally, already anticipating the argument that’s sure to come. But before you can say anything, Sam slides a coin across the counter and gives the man an easy smile.

“We’ll take it.”

The innkeeper hands over a key and mutters directions to the room. You follow Sam up the narrow stairs, your irritation simmering just below the surface. When you reach the room, you stop in the doorway, taking in the sight of the single, narrow bed pushed against the far wall.

“Perfect,” you say dryly.

Sam shrugs, dropping his pack onto the floor. “Hey, it’s better than sleeping outside.”

You glare at him. “I’ll take the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, leaning against the bedpost. “You’ll be sore and miserable tomorrow, and we need to be at our best.”

“Then you take the floor,” you counter.

“I’m not sleeping on the floor either,” he says with a grin. “Guess we’ll have to share.”

Your feathers bristle beneath your cloak, but you keep your expression neutral. You don’t have the energy to argue further, and you know he’s right\u2014you’ll need to be rested for whatever comes next.

“Fine,” you say tightly. “But stay on your side.”

Sam chuckles, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Promise.”

You roll your eyes and turn away, slipping off your cloak and carefully tucking it into a corner. Without your wings bound, you feel slightly more at ease, though the thought of sharing a bed with Sam keeps your nerves on edge.

The two of you settle in awkwardly, lying as far apart as the narrow bed allows. You keep your back to him, your body rigid as you stare at the wall. For a while, the room is silent except for the faint creak of the inn and the occasional muffled sound from outside.

“Relax, Wisdom,” Sam says softly after a while. His voice is closer than you expect, and you can feel the warmth of him just behind you.

“I am relaxed,” you reply stiffly.

“Sure you are,” he says, his tone teasing but gentle.

You don’t respond, focusing instead on slowing your breathing. Eventually, your exhaustion begins to catch up with you, and your body starts to soften against the mattress.

When you wake in the middle of the night, the room is dark, the faint glow of moonlight seeping through the cracks in the shutters. It takes you a moment to realize why you feel so warm, so\u2026 comfortable. Then you notice the arm draped over your waist, the steady rise and fall of Sam’s chest pressed against your back.

Your first instinct is to pull away, but something stops you. He's holding you loosely, his body relaxed and unguarded in sleep. It's an intimacy you never expected from him, and for a moment, you let yourself simply feel it. The heat of his skin, the softness of his breath against your hair, it's almost enough to make you forget who you are, what you are.

But the moment doesn't last. Your mind catches up with your heart, and you shift carefully, trying to extricate yourself without waking him.

“Y/N?” His voice is groggy, barely more than a whisper.

You freeze, caught. “Go back to sleep,” you mutter.

He hums softly, his arm tightening around you just slightly. “You're warm,” he murmurs, his words slurring with sleep.

Your heart pounds in your chest, and you don't trust yourself to speak. Instead, you lie still, willing your breathing to slow. It takes a long time for your racing thoughts to settle, but eventually, sleep finds you again, this time, with Sam's warmth still wrapped around you.

The next morning, you wake to the sound of birds outside the window and the faint glow of dawn creeping into the room. Sam is already awake, leaning on one elbow as he watches you with an unreadable expression.

“Morning,” he says, his voice soft but teasing. “Sleep well?”

You push yourself upright, your cheeks burning as you avoid his gaze. “Don’t read into it,” you say quickly. “It was an accident.”

“Sure it was,” he says, his grin widening.

You groan, shoving the blanket off and standing. “Come on. We have work to do.”

As you gather your things and prepare to face the day, you can feel his eyes on you, his presence a steady weight that you can’t ignore. This quest is going to be far more complicated than you anticipated, and not just because of the danger lurking in the mortal world.

The village stretches before you in the muted light of dawn, its narrow paths and crooked buildings casting long shadows across the dirt roads. Despite its eerie stillness, there’s an energy beneath the surface, a tension that vibrates in the air like a string pulled taut. You and Sam move through the streets side by side, cloaks drawn tightly to obscure your wings. His presence is a steady weight at your side, grounding you even as your senses remain alert for the slightest sign of trouble.

The innkeeper had mentioned strange occurrences—livestock disappearing without a trace, fields blighted overnight, people vanishing into the forest and never returning. There’s no clear pattern, no sense of what might be causing it, only an underlying fear that has driven the villagers to the edge. You suspect the answer lies deeper than what mortal eyes can see, and it’s your responsibility to uncover it.

Sam stops suddenly, his hand brushing your arm to catch your attention. His gaze is fixed on a group of villagers gathered near the well, their faces tight with worry as they speak in hushed tones. You glance at him, and he gives a small nod, a silent agreement to approach together.

The villagers stiffen as you draw near, their eyes darting to your cloaks. You’ve learned how to carry yourself among mortals without drawing too much attention, but their wariness is palpable.

“We’re travelers,” you say, keeping your voice calm and even. “We heard about the troubles in your village and wanted to offer our help.”

A man steps forward, his face lined with age and worry. He studies you carefully, his gaze lingering on Sam before returning to you. “What kind of help could strangers offer? The gods themselves seem to have turned their backs on us.”

“Perhaps the gods haven’t turned away,” Sam says, his tone light but firm. “Perhaps they’ve sent help without you realizing.”

The man narrows his eyes, clearly unconvinced, but another voice cuts in before he can respond.

“They vanished into the forest last night,” a woman says, her voice trembling. “Three of them. My son among them. There was no sound, no struggle—just gone.”

You exchange a glance with Sam. The forest. It’s always the forest. In every tale of danger and despair, it’s the place where shadows deepen, where answers lie hidden beneath layers of mystery and fear.

“Take us to the edge of the forest,” you say. “We’ll look for them.”

The villagers hesitate, their fear a tangible thing that hangs in the air between you. Finally, the older man nods, gesturing for you to follow.

The walk to the forest is tense, the silence broken only by the crunch of dirt beneath your boots and the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze. When you reach the treeline, the man stops, his face pale as he stares into the shadowy depths.

“This is as far as we go,” he says. “If you’re wise, you’ll turn back too.”

“We’ll manage,” Sam says with a confidence that seems to unnerve the man further.

The villagers retreat, leaving the two of you alone at the forest’s edge. The air here is different, heavier, as if the trees themselves are watching. You feel a shiver run through you, not from fear but from the strange energy that pulses beneath your skin.

“You feel it too,” Sam says, his voice low.

You nod. “It’s not mortal. Something else is here.”

Without another word, you step into the forest, the canopy above swallowing the light and plunging you into a world of shadow and whispers.

The deeper you go, the stronger the presence becomes, a thrumming energy that prickles against your skin. The forest is unnaturally quiet, the usual sounds of birds and insects replaced by an oppressive stillness. You keep your senses sharp, your eyes scanning the underbrush and your ears straining for the faintest sound.

Sam walks close beside you, his usual lighthearted demeanor replaced by a quiet focus. It’s strange to see him like this, all of his attention honed in on the task at hand. You’d always thought of him as reckless, too carefree to take anything seriously, but now you’re beginning to see another side of him.

“Stay close,” he says suddenly, his voice soft but firm.

“I’m not a child, Sam,” you reply, bristling at his tone.

“Didn’t say you were,” he says, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Just don’t want anything sneaking up on you. You know, since you’re so predictable.”

You glare at him, but the faint amusement in his eyes disarms you. For a moment, the tension between you eases, and you allow yourself a small smile in return.

The moment is short-lived. A sound ripples through the forest, low and guttural, like the growl of a predator. You freeze, your hand instinctively moving to the hidden weapon at your side. Sam steps in front of you, his body tense as he scans the trees.

“Did you hear that?” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Stay behind me.”

Before you can argue, something moves in the shadows—a blur of motion too fast to track. You barely have time to react before it lunges at you, a creature of sinew and shadow with glowing eyes that burn like embers.

Sam moves faster than you thought possible, his body a blur as he meets the creature head-on. His blade flashes in the dim light, slicing through the air with precision. The creature snarls, its movements erratic and unnatural, but Sam holds his ground, his strength and skill undeniable.

You shake off your shock and draw your own weapon, moving to flank the creature. Together, you and Sam fight as if you’ve done this a thousand times before, your movements instinctively synchronized. The creature is relentless, but it’s no match for the two of you. With one final strike, it lets out a piercing screech and dissolves into nothingness, leaving behind only the faint scent of sulfur.

You lower your weapon, your chest heaving as you catch your breath. Sam turns to you, his face flushed but triumphant.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice tinged with concern.

“I’m fine,” you reply, though your hands are still trembling. “What was that?”

“Something unnatural,” he says grimly. “Zeus wasn’t kidding about this.”

You glance at him, your irritation forgotten in the wake of the battle. For the first time, you feel a flicker of gratitude for his presence. Whatever lies ahead, you’re glad you don’t have to face it alone.

The rest of the day is a blur of tension and discovery. You and Sam uncover more signs of the creatures’ presence—claw marks on trees, patches of scorched earth, and the faint remnants of an otherworldly energy that clings to the air like smoke.

By the time night falls, you’re both exhausted, your bodies aching from the strain of the day. You find a small clearing and decide to make camp, the fire you build casting flickering shadows across the trees.

As you sit beside the flames, the silence between you feels less heavy now, less strained. There’s an unspoken understanding in the way you pass each other food, in the way Sam adjusts his cloak to shield you from the chill.

“You fought well today,” you say quietly, surprising yourself with the admission.

“So did you,” he replies, his voice warm. “Not bad for someone who’s ‘predictable.’”

You huff a laugh, the sound surprising you both. For a moment, the tension between you fades, replaced by something softer, something that feels almost like trust.

When you finally lie down to rest, the danger of the day lingers at the edges of your thoughts, but Sam’s presence is a steady comfort.

The forest feels endless, the thick canopy above blotting out the sun and casting everything in shadow. Days blur together as you and Sam press forward, following the faint trail of devastation left by the creatures. Every step deeper into the woods feels heavier, the oppressive energy seeping into your bones. Whatever force drives these monsters, it’s ancient and powerful, far beyond what you initially expected.

The attacks grow more frequent. It’s as if the creatures sense you’re getting closer to the source, their aggression increasing with every skirmish. The battles leave you winded and bruised, your divine strength tested in ways you hadn’t imagined. Even Sam, with all his confidence and skill, is beginning to show signs of wear. Still, he pushes forward, his determination unwavering.

You try to ignore how often his focus shifts to you—how his eyes flicker to check on you during fights, how his hand brushes yours when the silence stretches too long. It’s disarming, the way he looks at you like you’re more than just his rival, more than just another god forced to endure this quest. You don’t know how to process it, so you bury the thoughts deep and concentrate on the mission.

The final confrontation comes without warning. One moment, you and Sam are navigating a narrow ravine, the air thick with the scent of moss and damp earth. The next, the ground trembles beneath your feet, and the creatures emerge, their forms twisting and shifting like shadows given life. These are not like the ones you’ve faced before. They’re larger, more feral, their movements faster than your eyes can track.

You barely have time to draw your weapon before they’re on you. The battle is chaos, a blur of flashing claws and snarling teeth. You and Sam fight as one, your movements synchronized in a way that feels almost instinctual now. You’ve learned to anticipate each other’s actions, to move in tandem like two halves of a whole.

But even with your combined strength, the creatures are relentless. One swipes at your side, its claws tearing through your cloak and leaving a jagged gash across your ribs. You grit your teeth against the pain and strike back, your blade finding its mark. Beside you, Sam takes a blow to the shoulder, the force of it sending him stumbling before he recovers and drives his sword through the creature’s chest.

The fight feels endless, each second stretching into an eternity. You’re bleeding, your body aching with the strain of battle, but you refuse to falter. Beside you, Sam is equally battered, his movements slowing as exhaustion takes its toll.

Then, finally, the tide turns. With one final, desperate effort, you drive your blade into the heart of the largest creature. Its body convulses, a horrific screech tearing through the air before it collapses and dissolves into ash. The remaining creatures falter, their connection to the source severed. One by one, they fall, their forms dissipating into nothingness.

The silence that follows is deafening. You stand there, chest heaving, your weapon still clutched tightly in your hand. Blood drips from the wound at your side, staining the ground beneath you. Sam is equally battered, his armor dented and his face smeared with dirt and blood.

For a moment, neither of you moves. The realization of what you’ve done, what you’ve survived, crashes over you like a tidal wave. The euphoria is overwhelming, a rush of relief and triumph that leaves you dizzy.

Before you can stop yourself, you close the distance between you and throw your arms around Sam. He catches you instinctively, his arms wrapping around you as you bury your face in his shoulder. His body is warm and solid against yours, grounding you in the chaos of your emotions.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, clinging to him as if he’s the only thing keeping you upright. When you finally pull back, your hands still rest on his shoulders, your breaths mingling in the small space between you.

His eyes meet yours, wide with something that looks like shock. For once, he’s speechless, his usual smirk nowhere to be found. You’re not sure who moves first, whether it’s you or him, but suddenly the space between you disappears.

His lips press against yours, warm and urgent, and the world falls away. The pain, the exhaustion, the forest around you—it all fades into nothingness. There’s only Sam, his hands steady on your waist, his lips moving against yours with a tenderness that takes you by surprise.

You don’t know how long the kiss lasts. It could be seconds or hours, but when you finally pull back, you’re both breathless. His forehead rests against yours, his eyes searching yours for some kind of answer.

“Was that—” he starts, his voice rough, but you cut him off with another kiss, softer this time.

When you pull back again, you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Shut up, Sam.”

He laughs, the sound warm and genuine, and for the first time, you feel the weight of your rivalry dissolve completely. Whatever lies ahead, you know you’ll face it together—and for now, that’s enough.

The ascent to Olympus is both triumphant and wearying. After days of trekking through mortal lands and battling shadows, your bodies ache with fatigue, yet victory fuels each step. The air grows lighter as you near the summit, the golden halls of the gods shimmering in the distance, their brilliance blinding after the dim forest.

Sam walks beside you, his cloak billowing in the crisp wind. His wounds, though tended to, still show faint traces of the battles you’ve endured. His steps are sure, though his occasional glances at you betray a quiet worry, as if even now he fears for your well-being. It’s a side of him you never expected to see, one that has burrowed deep into your thoughts and refuses to leave.

When you finally reach the gates of Olympus, the other gods await you. Their eyes are bright with curiosity and perhaps a hint of respect. Even Apollo, lounging against one of the golden pillars, seems to straighten slightly as you and Sam stride forward.

Zeus rises from his throne, his imposing figure framed by the glow of lightning that seems to pulse around him. He regards you both with a mixture of approval and something sterner, his gaze lingering on the faint scars and bruises you carry.

“You have returned,” Zeus says, his voice booming across the courtyard. “And victorious, no less. I confess I had my doubts, but you have proven yourselves worthy.”

“Was there ever a question?” Sam quips, though there’s no malice in his tone. His smile is easy, but you catch the tension in his shoulders as he stands before the King of the Gods.

Zeus’s lips twitch, as if suppressing a smile. “You’ve done more than I asked. The creatures that plagued the mortals are no more, and the balance is restored. For that, I owe you a debt.”

He steps forward, his presence dominating the space. “For your bravery and sacrifice, I will grant each of you one wish. Whatever lies within my power to give, it shall be yours.”

The offer hangs in the air, heavy with promise. The other gods lean in, their curiosity palpable. It’s rare for Zeus to grant such a boon, and you can feel their eyes on you, waiting to see what you will ask for.

You open your mouth, but Sam speaks first, his voice steady and clear. “I know what I want.”

Zeus nods, gesturing for him to continue.

“I wish to marry her,” Sam says, and your heart stops. His eyes meet yours, unwavering, as if daring you to object. “I want to build a life with her, not just as gods but as equals. And I wish for a domain of our own—a place where we can rule together, as others worship and honor us, just as they do the rest of you.”

A stunned silence falls over the courtyard. You can feel the weight of every gaze, every whisper of disbelief and curiosity. Even Zeus looks momentarily taken aback, his brow furrowing as he studies Sam.

“You ask for much,” Zeus says, his tone measured. “To bind yourself to another god is no small request. And a domain of your own… Where would you lay claim?”

Sam stands tall, his confidence unshaken. “The winds,” he says simply. “The skies already belong to you, Zeus, but the winds are untamed, wild and free. Let us rule them together. Let them carry the prayers of mortals to the heavens. Let them be ours.”

Zeus considers this, his gaze flickering to you. “And what of you? Is this your wish as well?”

You can hardly breathe. The weight of Sam’s words presses down on you, your mind reeling. You’ve spent so much of your existence keeping others at arm’s length, refusing to let anyone get too close. But now, standing before the gods, Sam’s proposal laid bare for all to see, you realize the truth.

You want this. You want him.

“Yes,” you say, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside you. “It is my wish as well.”

Zeus nods slowly, his expression unreadable. “So be it.”

He raises his hand, and the air around you shifts, crackling with divine energy. The sky above darkens momentarily, the winds whipping around you in a frenzy before they suddenly calm. You feel the power settle into your bones, a new connection to the world around you, as if the very air has become an extension of your being.

“It is done,” Zeus declares. “You are now gods of the winds, your domain as vast and untamed as the skies themselves. As for your union…” He pauses, a faint smile curling his lips. “Let it be known across Olympus and the mortal world alike. You shall be husband and wife, partners in rule and in life.”

The gods erupt into applause, some more enthusiastic than others. Aphrodite claps her hands together, a pleased smile on her face, while Ares merely grunts in approval. Even Athena gives a small nod, her sharp gaze softening as she looks at you and Sam.

Sam turns to you, his eyes shining with something you can’t quite name. He extends his hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, you take it. His grip is warm and steady, grounding you in a way that nothing else ever has.

“Guess we’re stuck with each other now,” he says, his grin crooked but genuine.

You laugh, the sound light and free. “Guess so.”

As the gods continue their celebration, you and Sam stand together, the weight of your new roles settling over you. But for the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. Whatever challenges lie ahead, you know you’ll face them together. And for now, that’s enough.