Writing Description Notes:

So look in the mirror

And tell me, who do you see?

Is it still you?

Or is it me?

sex, gender & sexuality words:

last updated: 8 october, 2024.

yananchay - sexuality

kamamanta - gender (social). (back-formation of latin [genere] meaning type or kind, quechua [kama] meaning kind.)

t’ipip - sex (social & biological). (back-formation of latin [sexūs] meaning section or division, quechua [t’ipi] meaning division.)

chawpit’ipip - intersex.

runa - gender neutral term for human / person.

tinkuy - liminal space of unity, complementary forces, convergence, meeting of elements, roughly translates to nonbinary.

warmi - woman - feminine

qari - man - masculine

tikrachisqa [qari / warmi / runa.] - transgender / transformed people: tikrachisqa qari, tikrachisqa warmi, tikrachisqa runa, so on, so forth.

chakachisqa [qari / warmi / runa.] - transgender / trans meaning extending across, through, or over: crossing people: chakachisqa qari, chakachisqa warmi, chakachisqa runa. (alternative based on cross-linguistic analysis featuring the arabic language term for transgender, old based on transform / change [mutaħawwil] and new based on trans / extending across [ʕābir/ʕābira])

ch’usaq - zero - absent / agender

runapuri - genderfluid

warmiqari - feminine man*

qariqari - masculine man*

qariwarmi - man-woman* / masculine-feminine* / masculine woman* / liminal-gendered / historical transvestite {considered analogous to two-spirit identities in the north.}

warmiwarmi - feminine woman*

chiqan - straight / hetero

chinaku / warminchu - gay (qaripura kuyay - love among men / MLM)

qarinchu / ushuta - lesbian (warmipura kuyay - love among women, basically our way of saying WLW)

q’iwa - translates as necessary or sacred irregularity in life (surprise) or .. as we westerners say… being queer . dotty. pansy-like. a dandy. (also means imperfection, coward, could refer to any number of perceived flaws)

chawpinpashña - demigirl

chawpinmaqta - demiboy

yuquchu - asexual

kuyachu - aromantic

kaqllapura kuyay - homoromantic

chiqanpura kuyay - heteromantic

iskaypura kuyay - biromantic

llapanpura kuyay - panromantic

iskaypura yuquy - bisexual

kaqllapura yuquy - homosexual

chiqanpura yuquy - heterosexual

llapanpura yuquy - pansexual

(*doesnt take sexuality into account FYI)

(green text indicates brand new words)

main sources used:

Wiktionary, QichwaDic 2.0, Promsex, Glosbe

Hello again!! :D i was wondering, what makes a story feel lifeless? i mean, not the plot but the text itself. My writing feels like a bunch of facts one after the other: the sky was blue, it smelled like cinnamon; This happened and then That happened, now they're doing This etc. Despite including sensory details and the protagonist's thoughts, it still feels monochromatic and devoid of personality :( and like? too quick?? in a bad way (not sure why). How can i change this?

Great question! I love this one! Here are three things that come to mind for me.

Based on what you've written, it seems like what you might be missing is emotionality--without the right emotion beats, it's no wonder its feeling lifeless to you. You've got the senses nailed -- the sky is blue (what they see), it smells like cinnamon (scent, evocative! curious: why does it smell like that, i wonder as the reader, that's good!). And you've got plot points coming one after the other, also good.

So maybe your paragraph looks like this (obviously I'm just making this up):

Jane followed Maura into the farmer's market. It was a hot day. The sky was bright blue and the air smelled like cinnamon. Maura took a long time looking at all of the vegetables. Jane bought a Red Sox onesie for Frankie's baby. Maura spent a lot of money, and Jane was ready to go long before Maura was.

Here are three things I'd do to make this seem more alive, more emotional, and take longer (if you want it to):

1. Vary the sentence length. This is a great an easy fix to writing that sounds wooden. Read it out loud. Notice the steady tempo of the sentences above; they're all relatively similar in length. Breaking that up can give a more unpredictable rhythm that makes the reader's breath catch in their chest. After you read the above paragraph out loud, read this one. Notice that none of the words have changed, only the punctuation (and things like "and"):

Jane followed Maura into the farmer's market on a hot day. The sky was bright blue, the air smelled like cinnamon. Maura took a long time looking at all of the vegetables, and Jane bought a Red Sox onesie for Frankie's baby. Maura spent a lot of money. Jane was ready to go long before Maura was.

That's a little more lively, a little more of an emphasis comes into "Maura spent a lot of money," and there's a bit of a dance to "the sky was bright blue, the air smelled like cinnamon" in a way there wasn't to the first version.

Okay, simple fix done. Now to the more complex ones.

2. Tie specific emotion and memory to each sensation. So it smells like cinnamon, so what? So the sky is blue, so what? What do those things mean for Jane? Why are we calling those out? What can we learn from/about Jane and the scene from her reactions to those things? Maybe now it looks like this (new/modified stuff in blue):

Jane followed Maura into the farmer's market. It wasn't until they were approaching the first fruit stand that Jane realized how long it had been since she'd been here. Jane was surprised to find that she missed it, missed watching Maura touch every single damn zucchini and then buy none of them. It was nice, actually. It was the hottest day of the summer so far; the sky was bright blue, and the air smelled like cinnamon. Maura took a long time looking at all of the vegetables, as always, and Jane wandered away in a fit of boredom, returning with a cheap Red Sox onesie for Frankie's baby that made Maura mutter something under her breath about synthetic fabrics and infant skin. Jane didn't bother not to smile. It felt like old times. Maura finally found some berries up to her standards and spent more money than even Jane expected her to, and Jane eventually had to drag her back to the car.

Okay, so that's very different, right? Thinking about each detail, each action, as something that's specific and makes Jane think of specific things, to compare and contrast to how it might have gone before. That's going to give you lots of life and emotionality. We learn, without you having to tell us, that Jane expected it to be boring, stilted, long, and not very hot outside. That tells us a lot about Jane. Plus, we learn that not only was nice and kind of emotional and hot and Maura spent so much money, but also how Jane feels about those things, those expectations she had gotten wrong. That tells us even more about Jane!

And then the final thing that comes to my mind right now is:

3. Connect what's happening to the broader plot or tension of this scene. Why are they at the farmer's market? What is Jane needing to happen, or hoping doesn't happen? Let's say Maura has dragged Jane out because Jane has been stuck inside the precinct for a week trying to find a clue that's evaded her on a tough case. The unsolved case is weighing on Jane, and Maura is a firm believer that fresh air and exercise will give Jane's brain the breath it needs to find the clue. Jane is very grumpy about it. So that's tension: Jane wants to be at work saving lives, and Maura has dragged her here, using Jane's love for Maura to manipulate her into coming to the market. So maybe now it looks like this (new/modified stuff in purple):

Jane reluctantly followed Maura into the farmer's market. It wasn't until they were approaching the first fruit stand that Jane realized how long it had been since she'd been here; Maura used to drag her here almost every weekend, but that was before Casey. Before everything with Maura's dad. Before their relationship was stretched taut like a rubber band and then very nearly snapped in two. Jane was surprised to find that she missed it, missed watching Maura touch every single damn zucchini and then buy none of them. It was nice, actually. It was the hottest day of the summer so far; the sky was bright blue, and the air smelled like cinnamon. Inside the precinct, at her desk, it was always dark and smelled like a gym locker. Maybe Maura was right, not that Jane would ever admit it to her. Seeing the sky, smelling the pastries and coffee and ripe peaches--maybe this was what Jane needed to crack the case. Maura took forever looking at all of the vegetables, as always, and Jane wandered away in a fit of boredom, returning with a cheap Red Sox onesie for Frankie's baby that made Maura mutter something under her breath about synthetic fabrics and infant skin. Jane didn't bother not to smile. It felt like old times, like maybe one day they'd get back to the banter and easy affection they'd used to have. Maura finally found some berries up to her standards and spent more money than even Jane expected her to, and Jane eventually had to drag her back to the car, because murder can only wait so long, after all. The sunshine and stone fruit and the hot, humid breezes of summer would all still be waiting for her once she'd solved this damn case.

So by (1) varying sentence length, (2) making things tied to specific memories and details, and comparing/contrasting with past experiences or current expectations, and (3) tying the entire situation into the broad tension of the scene/chapter/fic, we've been able to add a lot of liveliness, character depth, emotionality, and slow down the pace so that we're not rushing from one thing to the next.

What do you think? What do you all do to add life to your scenes?

Nathan Miller

FINALKRU CHARACTERS

They really said^

The funniest part of Sinners was when the Native Americans just said “yeahhh good luck with that”

unless they specifically asked, you don’t get to tell a fanfic writer you think they mischaracterized the character by the way. because the second someone writes a fanfic about a character, that character becomes the writer’s own version of the character. canon is only a suggestion, but whether or not an author will follow it / how much of canon an author will take is entirely up to them. you don’t get to stick your nose in their world and tell them “hey this is not to my liking therefore I think you’re doing it wrong” when you can simply leave quietly and move on to something else you may enjoy

"Your cheeks shall not be stained with tears again. I won't allow it."

Words To Use Instead of Said (Advanced Version)

Part One: Dialogue Tags

Reminder to use these sparingly and not every line of dialogue needs a dialogue tag.

To Say Something Quietly:

whispered

murmured

breathed

sighed

simpered

hummed

mumbled

muttered

To Say Something Loudly:

exclaimed

cried

squealed

shrieked

shouted

bellowed

roared

declared

declared

proclaimed

hollered

To Say Something Angrily:

snapped

snarled

growled

barked

grumbled

complained

huffed

nagged

blustered

thundered

seethed

fumed

ranted

demanded

taunted

scoffed

cursed

grunted

insulted

hissed

badgered

sneered

To Say Something In An Amused Manner:

laughed

chuckled

giggled

joked

quipped

teased

cheered

crowed

To Say Something Unsurely // Nervously:

faltered

stammered

stuttered

hesitated

guessed

blurted

trembled

speculated

quivered

equivocated

denied

countered

babbled

slurred

squeaked

yelped

cautioned

gulped

squales

quavered

hesitated

trailed off

Part Two: Action Tags

The use of action tags will make your writing more interesting and creates variety in conversation-filled scenes. Make sure to add both in your writing and do your best not to over do it.

Reminder: When using action tags that aren’t one word, always use periods instead of commas. Example:

“Idiot,” Camille rolled her eyes out of annoyance, continuing to file her nails. Wrong.

“Idiot.” Camille rolled her eyes out of annoyance, continuing to file her nails. Correct.

Positive:

smiled

grinned

smirked

beamed

his eyes twinkled

flashed a chesire smile

looked pleased

her ears reddened

his cheeks flushed

the corner of her lips tugged up

Neutral:

crossed her arms

folded their arms

blew their hair out his their face

twirled her hair around her finger

massaged his temples

bit her lip

chewed the insides of her cheek

batted his eyes

angled her head

tousled his hair

nodded in agreement

feigned confusion

Negative:

clenched his fist

dug her nails into her palm

picked at his nails

glared

narrowed her gaze

withheld his anger

his head pounded with anger

You can mix and match, using a dialogue and an action tag as well. Example: Dialogue, Action.

“I don’t think I can,” she stammered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.