You’re Losing Me - Taylor Swift

i open tumblr. i close tumblr. i check discord. i open tumblr. i close tumblr. i open spotify. start a song. open youtube. pick video, ending song. video bad. i close youtube. i open tumblr

I just love this page. Atsushi realizes that he almost lost someone who he never took the time to understand. this boy, this stranger, who has burrowed so deep into his mind, who has been completely incomprehensible to him, who died for him, is, beneath it all, just like him. they're the same. they always have been.

its regret. about the words he's said, the wound's he's inflicted, the fact that he did not see the boy right in front of him. he walked away, a specter, misunderstood, never being told that its okay for him to live. okay for him to exist in this world.

for the first time, he thinks he understands akutagawa ryuunosuke and its breaking his heart. he's breaking his heart.

I read sskk as "suh kchkckk" 😭 I know it's pronounced Shin Soukoku/sheen so koh koo, but I read the acronym differently lmao

for some stupid reason i can’t stop myself from reading sskk as scaykaykay in my head. i don’t know how it got there. but now i always read it like that. it doesn’t even make sense. shouldn’t it be scayscaykaykay? how do others even pronounce it? why did i just realize that i’ve been saying it all wrong 💔💔

So who do YOU think did it 🤨⁉️

I finally watched Over the Garden Wall

I freaking love it oml I should've gotten into it sooner, it's so mysterious and spooky and it's amazing. Wirt is so awkward and cynical I love him

(yes I want to make Bsd x otgw art)

YOU FOOL. AWAY WITH YOU YOU FUCKING FOOL.

the way his eyes widen... ohh waking up from amnesia beacause of remembering your own death and how you said the same shit to your mortal enemy... this is peak fucking romance

i didnt think i could get more absolutely hyperfixated on this ship.. but never mind!!! haha.... hahaa......

i have my head in my hands. geniunely CANNOT do this anymore.

i just wanna talk a lil about the first panel... god atsushi looks stunning. the lidded eyes, the smirk/small smile............. how FOND he looks, how tired.. i literally need it tattooed on my soul. he knew it was a gamble, being cut down by amenogozen- but he still fucking did it for akutagawa, for the ada.. GOD I LOVE ATSUSHI

this is genuinely such a violently romantic-platonic gesture which is pretty on track for these fucking idiots.. but yeah excuse me while i go tweak out!!!!

good and cool and normal thoughts in my brain about sskk. as always

imagining them post-canon is always a time but right now I'm specifically thinking of ways they would show trust to each other. because they would absolutely, absolutely trust each other more than anything.

i have a few interesting thoughts on how they would show trust.

one is clothes as trust-- akutagawa's form of vulnerability. not wearing his coat around atsushi, or letting atsushi borrow it. not feeling the need to wear long sleeves or layers. being around atsushi means he doesn't need to be on guard, ready to tear somebody apart with rashomon in an instant. it doesn't feel like he's exposing himself to be killed if he wears lighter clothes, less clothes, no clothes at all. because being around atsushi is inherently safe to him.

one is food as trust-- atsushi's form of vulnerability. food was something he was rarely given as a child, and it's something that he wouldn't share. it's too precious. but he would get food for akutagawa, share food with him, save some of his own food for akutagawa to eat. and akutagawa would do the same. akutagawa isn't going to let him starve. he'll eat his part of a shared meal and let atsushi have his. if atsushi gives akutagawa some of his food, he trusts that some other day, akutagawa will give atsushi some of his. he doesn't need to live in fear that he won't eat again, because he trusts that akutagawa won't let that happen.

and lastly, rest. sleep. sleeping next to somebody is one of the most vulnerable things you can do, especially for atsushi and akutagawa, who were in danger throughout their childhoods. sleeping means you can be killed. sleeping means you are unaware. sleeping means you can be betrayed. to close their eyes, let alertness of their surroundings slip away, feel sure that the other won't hurt or kill them, maybe even that the other will hold them gently... that's the sort of trust they'd have.

I truly feel bad for Akutagawa, though. Like, I think we're overlooking the fact that that's a man Akutagawa gave his life to save, because that same man's life was that precious to him. And now he died in front of his eyes. The man Akutagawa willingly committed the ultimate sacrifice for in order to save. Seeing Atsushi die, right in front of him, without him having the chance to do anything to impede it... That has to be a worse fate than death for Akutagawa.

THE SSKK ONE HAS A BIGGER MEANING NOW

Ok ok I'm going to scream. I was rewatching a scene from the third episode, right after Atsushi tries to shoot Akutagawa, and then Akutagawa says, "blah blah blah, unfortunately for you, I keep my promises" and then proceeds to cut off his leg, as one does.

AND IT'S THE FACT THAT AKUTAGAWA KEEPS HIS PROMISES THAT'S THE REASON ATSUSHI IS ALIVE AFTER THE FIGHT WITH FUKUCHI HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS SOMEONE WHO KEEPS HIS PROMISES AND THAT ENDED UP SAVING ATSUSHI'S LIFE AND ANDLFIDSNLFNA—