You Chrome! Your Wife!! (I Think... That Is Him Right?)

What have you created.....???

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

Oh dear god Chrome..... I swear for chrismas I'm getting you something so that you don't end up cutting of blood cerculation from your arm with all those bracelets

kandi life

My mom: AND WHY DID THIS THING APPEAR???? Beelzebub: I was summoned by name, and this bitch eats enough to probably be related to me in some way

When you turn 18, you go to the Chapel to summon a Familiar, then your future is decided based on its shape. All you can do is name the creature and then the summoning does the rest. After you name it, the priestesses all stare at you with horror in their eyes, then scream when it appears.

Me: If I join the hunt can I 1. Adopt as many kids as I want? and 2. shoot Zeus in the balls whenever he tries to make a move on me or the other girls Artemis: Yes. Me: *calling my mom* Hey mom! I'm not going to ever get married but I will adopt a bunch of kids!

Saying you dedicate your hunts to the Goddess Artemis started as a weird private joke to yourself. You never thought it would result in the actual goddess visiting you and asking to teach her how to hunt with a rifle.

Humans also are weird with Bananas too. One day I love it, the next I'm about to puke

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

hehehe owo

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

*gets a gun out* START SHOOTING

If I ever go off the grid, please tell my mom I'm living in one of these caves

Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

Me behind you: Do your tasks or else I'm having fish for dinner.

guys I've been assigned two tasks at once ,please pray for me

Something that ACTUALLY happened at school Me: No ya idiot! Feminism doesn't mean you hate women!! This kid I'll call by his nickname "Tolo" Tolo: I'm not a feminist, I love women! I'm a misogynist! *raises his fist* Me: *noises of anger*