“Life Doesn’t Comfort Me; The Thought Of Not Loving You Depresses Me.”

sun

tea, coffee

Taken few hours before afternoon exam on 5th May. This meant I've endured 3 papers and left with 1 more paper then semester break.

Thinking of doing part-time while waiting for new semester starts.

i just want a warm soup and a hug :( tired of sitting at my desk and studying

cats + nature <3

29.03.2023 Getting these two books because it has been in my wishlist for some time/months. Also, short date (breaking the fast) with my sweetest date ✨️ Reading too many research paper made my brain miss reading idly, in a relax pace, focusing more on enjoyment. This April till first week of May will be the busiest time ever with group presentations, group work papers, tests, and exam.

Finishing up case study.

Writing Advice from Anaïs Nin

The following are excerpts from a letter of advice she sent to a 17-year-old aspiring author by the name of Leonard W., whom she had taken under her wing as creative mentor.

I like to live always at the beginnings of life, not at their end. We all lose some of our faith under the oppression of mad leaders, insane history, pathologic cruelties of daily life.

Older people fall into rigid patterns. Curiosity, risk, exploration are forgotten by them. You have not yet discovered that you have a lot to give, and that the more you give the more riches you will find in yourself. It amazed me that you felt that each time you write a story you gave away one of your dreams and you felt the poorer for it.

You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings.

It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing.

Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications.

Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them.

If it seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, you, par contre, must benefit from the great privilege of youth, which is that you move in a world of mysteries. But both must be ruled by faith.

friendly reminders:

you don't have to be productive every day

you are worthy even if all you did today was get out of bed

there are people out there who care about you

your existence makes a difference

if something bothers you, then it bothers you. no one has the right to tell you otherwise

you are allowed to take up space

there is no 'right way' to grieve

you cannot put a time limit on emotions

your likes and interests are valid and they matter

it's okay to take your time in doing things. not everyone can do everything at the same pace

The unholy amount of coffee I drank these days led me questioned myself if I am present in this reality or not. Met my partner yesterday for a moment away from busy busy student's life and opted for a dinner date in Jollibee 🐝❤.

Take a break when needed, everyone. You deserve to get a moment of peace too.

Adonis, Selected Poems, tr. by Khaled Mattawa