Inner Darkness

the hill me and the mutuals are dying on

i want a love like i’ve seen in the movies, that’s why i’ll never fall in love

pairing: valgrace (leo valdez x jason grace)

summary: jason is dead. leo writes letters to him to cope.

word count: 418 (oof)

a/n: GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT HER ACT TOGETHER!!!!!! title from ‘like the movies’ by laufey, relates to nothing i just thought it was cute lmao. wrote this at 2am while severely dehydrated and sleep deprived. i did not check, but hopefully the spelling is ok. enjoy!!!!

(dividers by @plutism)

jason,

you’ll never get this. trust me, i know it. you’re gone.

piper says you wrote letters to me when I was gone. gods, why would you write letters? you’re you were dyslexic, you idiot! i’m barely writing right now. this is hard.

i never found the ones you wrote when we were going through your stuff. i wish i did. maybe it could’ve given me some closure, i guess. i hold on to every part of you i can find. your clothes smell less like you every day. the flowers i put at your grave the first day are starting to wilt. 

i still can’t believe it; we were done, out of the woods.(will has been forcing me to listen to taylor swift to try and cheer me up. it’s torture.) now, you’re gone. what’s the point of anything at this point? nothing feels real. one day, i’ll go to elysium. see you again. hopefully. the judges better grant me that mercy. i’ve lived a shit life. i deserve a happy ending. at least, i think i do.

i would go to a therapist, but… i don’t think that would be good for me right now. too much thinking. i usually try not to think. instead, my therapy is building stuff in bunker nine. i’ve been looking at spheres. they can do so much! i almost lasered off my whole arm the other day and but it’s whatever, you don’t want to hear me ramble right now.

i’m reading more, too. you would always get on me about that. well, fake you, at the wilderness school. you were always so righteous. i guess real you was too busy saving the world to annoy me about my reading habits. anyways, i asked annabeth for recommendations. BAD IDEA. now she’s forcing me to read all the “classics”! it’s a nightmare. but some of them are okay, like jane austen. did you know she was a baddie? because she is. but i was reading the canterville ghost, by oscar wilde. there was one line that made me think, which i don’t do much, clearly.

“death must be so beautiful. to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. to have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. to forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.”

i know most of this is wrong. they don’t have any silence in elysium! but for what it’s worth, i hope you’re at peace. you deserve that, after everything.

i miss you.

leo

end note: ANYWAYSSSSSS

i am planning to make a prequel of one of jason’s letters eventually. i rlly hope you liked it! i’ll link it here when it’s done. lmk if you want to be added to the taglist!

GENERAL TAGLIST: @illneverforget365

VALGRACE TAGLIST: n/a

i got shows, cats, & trauma wrong 😋

I made a quizz!

Use this link and post your results! It's bad I know just do it!

@zipperrants @theshifterbride @themanirealityshifter @xstrawberryshiftsx @shiftingwithmars

please yap abt your pjo dr i love hearing abt ppls pjo drs smmmm

oh my goodness so i never know what to write for these but i guess ill talk about my bestie clarisse!!!

me & clarisse r literally so tight like, we've known each other since we were like 5. basically, our parents dated for a while and we were super close(lots of play dates etc) but then they broke up so no more clarisse for me :( then i came to camp when i was like 9, and guess who came like 2 months later!!!!! clarisse!!!! when i first saw her walking into camp i was like 'hmmmmmm she looks familiar' and then she was like 'my names clarisse whats yours' and i was like 'OMG!!!!' and we were essentially inseparable from then on. we actually got claimed at the same time (me aphrodite, her ares ofc). basically, we were bitchfighting over some boy and she was about to punch me but i caught it and the signs flashed above our heads, i got turned all pretty, etc. basically like the beauty in strength for me and the power of knowing when to stop for her. and everybody started clapping, kneeling, whatever. basically over the years we became the skilled, confident girls we are now!!! i am gorg ofc and she is also gorg and we are both really good fighters. she's definitely better then me but i will NEVER admit it lmao. we're also huge gossips so when percy comes to camp we are the first ones to know, i am the queen of gossip- i know everything about everyone. we train together, sit together at lunch(i sit at her table- if anyone tries to say its against the rules she death stares them), go on sunrise swims, compete against each other in capture the flag, its great!!!! i love her so much.

ill also talk about my powers/weapons. i don't have charmspeak like piper/drew, but i do have what i call 'allure'- basically like pheromones. i can activate it whenever i want and it essentially lowers the defenses of the receivers. doesn't force them to do anything, but guides them in the right direction. i mostly love smaller weapons- im a dodgy, quick on my feet, brains over brawn type fighter. my trademark is my twin daggers- i named them liv and maddie. they are pink and flowery. the blades are stygian iron because i love to be different like that, also i'm a hades legacy. the blades are also engraved with roses. they were a gift from my mother!!! another gift i have from my mother is a little powder compact, when i dust it on my face i can morph into anyone i want to be. it's very helpful on stealth missions.

ok so yea!!!! thank you so much for the ask pook <3 PLEASE SEND ME MORE GUYS I LOVE THIS SHIT

wait was trying to create a pronouns page (i do not understand the UI of that website but not the point) and i think i’m actually biromantic??? and then grayasexual. i think that’s what it’s called? this is so girlslay of me!!!! ACE SPECTRUM RISE UP!!!!!!

yall just realized i reached 30 followers!! imagine 32 ppl in a room. 32 is SO MUCH EEE

And so it’s over. We do the final show, then right afterwards the frenzied rush of strike starts, running around trying to figure out what to do, pulling things apart, trying not to get smacked with huge moving set pieces. You do a million different tasks while many others, adults and kids, are running around doing the same. You get several scrapes and cuts on your hands from taking apart the set. And then it’s time to go, and your dad picks you up, and it’s over. Everything’s over. You’ll never see that show again, never be with that specific cast or crew again. And you’re just a techie, so you don’t get a cast party. There’s no huge group of people running to hug you and say goodbye, crying because they’ll miss you so much. You just wave your cut up hand, and leave, your heart still beating fast from all the work you’d been doing. It hurts less than other closing nights, you don’t cry, you’re just a little numb, and continue on your life.

one year old two days ago!!

PUT HER CANINE TEETH IN THE SIDE OF MY NECK!!!!!!

i love my dogy