ruikasa thing i had to get out of my brain somehow
some after party kinda thing :^)
a kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader oneshot.
SUMMARY ▏he was crimson, you were ivory, and you never had looked good in red.
WARNINGS ▏angst; major character death; mentions of violence; death; blood; swords / blades.
WORD COUNT ▏1.8k words, 10.2k characters
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▏introductory oneshot to tumblr!! how r we feeling >:D also it had to be angst, sorry i think. i specialise in this shit
Kaedehara Kazuha was no stranger to the colour red.
Red surfaced in the scarlet tint of his clothing, the soft blend of sunset and evening sky, the streak that shot through his hair. It reminded him of the bright glow of pyro visions, autumn leaves flitting about the wind, the dark passion that came to life in battle. Red was love; red was hate; red was something fierce and bold.
Red was the vividness of his eyes, red was the paleness of his lips, red was the flush to his skin. In a way, he was red as well, with his hair and eyes and clothing. You glance at him and your vision would flood with red. But there was something else, too—a kind of red embodied something both beautiful and gruesome. An elixir of life.
Crimson was also the colour of blood.
Blood, the essence of the living and the liquid of the dead. It flowed through the veins of humans, monsters, gods, and nearly every living being on Teyvat was powered by red.
And as Kazuha is to red, you were to ivory.
To you, ivory was fallen snow gracing the peaks of high mountains; it was the delicate petals of cecilias, where white descended into pale green before reaching the gentle, green stem. Ivory was the seafoam that washed ashore when cerulean waves would visit land, the shine of smooth marble, the quiet wishes whispered to the wind and lost to the loud whistling in your ears. You saw ivory in the sun, the moon, the stars; the clouds that drifted lazily along the high breezes.
Ivory was something born anew, a life blooming into existence. And you, with your tendency to be much too kind for your own good and an air of purity and kindness, were ivory.
And that was the thing. That was how it had always been. You had always been ivory; he had always been crimson. That was how it was meant to be.
So why were you choking on red?
Keep reading
Hii, May I request something? :0 Soooo...Y/n being Kazuha,Aether(bc this boy si so underrated)and Childe's little sister, and she is in those teenage age you know, and she gets hurt badly. What would they do to comfort her?If requests are not open feel free to ignore it! :D. <33
"ohana" means family...
# — characters: fem!reader, aether, lumine, paimon, childe
# — summary: ...and family means nobody gets left behind.
# — warnings: blood/violence mention
# — tags: hc/drabble format, canon divergent, platonic/familial hurt/comfort, fluff, sibling bonding, heartbreak (reader)
# — notes: y'know, i don't see much sibling!reader content! maybe that's just me, but even when i look, i don't see much.. so this is refreshing, thank you for the req, anon! i did spin the request a bit and only did two characters, though. as always, reblogs are appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!
✧ — 𝐚𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 — ✧
since you are the youngest -- born a year or two after the twins -- he and lumine treat you like you are the only star in their sky
you were too young to remember your parents, and after traveling so much, you all but forgot about them. your siblings were the only family you needed -- the only family you wanted.
(also, you don't mind them doting on you, but you wish they would stop babying you from time to time.)
before being stranded in teyvat, the three of you would travel between worlds together, experiencing all kinds of people and cultures and traditions, having all sorts of fun
the three of you only have each other, so you cherish one another very deeply. fights between you were actually rather rare
mostly because of your unstable lifestyle; if you fought and separated from each other, what were you supposed to do? all of you tried to avoid trouble with others and each other out of caution.
but then you encountered the unknown god and lumine went missing.
you and aether were stuck in an unfamiliar land with your new travel companion paimon, basically forced to help solve the problems of the people of this world until you get answers leading to lumine's whereabouts.
it wasn't all that bad at first; being gifted with the elements of both anemo and geo alongside your brother was exhilarating, and in your down time, you two would train and play around, keeping your spirits high
you and aether grew increasingly frustrated by your lack of clues, but you held each other up as best you could, trying to keep pushing forward
and then, with the help of dainsleif, you finally, finally got to see lumine
but... she refused to come home with you.
she left you.
a tense silence suffocates you as you and aether look over liyue harbor. not even paimon knows what to say after what just happened. you try to think of something to say -- something, anything -- but each time you open your mouth, you feel your throat tighten. now that you were in a quieter place, you felt like the sheer amount of thoughts that flooded your mind would start spilling out of your ears.
what were you supposed to say, anyways? were you even going to talk about it? what did any of that even mean? why were you still doing this? why couldn't you go home?
why did she leave you behind?
aether finally breaks the silence, his voice strained. "we need to keep moving," he says. his fists are trembling and his eyes are teary, but he tilts his chin up and takes a steadying breath. "if we want to understand what lumine was talking about, then we have to do what she says."
you frown at your brother. lumine was always the more stern sibling -- she was like a leader of sorts. without thinking, you and aether did what she said; she had very good judgement, so it wasn't much of a problem. but after all this--
"you still want to follow her?!" you cry. you didn't mean for your voice to come out so shrill and watery, but you can't help it. normally, it'd take you longer to get to this point -- to get to your breaking point -- but aether's attempt to put on a brave face makes your poorly built walls come crashing down. "you still want to do what she says? she's given up on us, aether, why would you still want to be in her good graces?!"
aether's glare is stony for all of two seconds before it smooths out, a glimmer of sunshine returning to them again. he calls your name as softly as he can muster. "that's not what i mean, and you know that."
you know he's right. a rational part of you agrees with him; if you want to have any hope of getting out of this world that has literally been forsaken by its gods, you were going to have to persevere. maybe at some point, lumine would return -- maybe she would keep her word and join you once more -- but until then, you were distraught, your heart shattered into near irreparable pieces over your sister's absence.
you sit yourself on the grass and grab a fistful of it, hoping the feeling will ground you. "what if she doesn't come back, ae'? w-what if she changes her mind and attacks us? you saw what she was capable of! she's a stranger now, aether, she--" you don't blink back the tears this time. "she had her sword. we don't have ours anymore. why is she doing this?"
aether doesn't move for a while. he watches silently as you break down, your frame shaking as sobs start to pour out of you. he doesn't know what to do either. as the eldest, the responsibility of caring for you and finding his twin sister fell on his shoulders, but he hadn't expected for lumine to just... refuse. the sight of you begging and pleading with lumine to come home replays in his mind, forcing his eyes shut.
the vow you three made all those years ago has been broken. you were never supposed to hurt each other like this; you were supposed to be each other's foundations. that hasn't changed one bit -- when lumine came back, he would be there for her as he always has been, and so would you. until then, he was going to protect the family he had left.
aether opens his eyes again and brushes any stray tears from his face before sitting next to you. he pulls you into a tight embrace and you return it immediately, burying your face in his shoulder.
you feel terrible; he should be the one crying, not you. sure, lumine is just as much your sister as she is his, but she's his twin; his other half. you tighten your hold on your brother. he's shaking like a leaf in the wind. he must be trying to carry the world on his shoulders right now. but as long as you were here, you'd never allow him to do that alone. "you're doing it again," you sniff after a while, your voice muffled by his shoulder. "you can let it out."
aether puts his hand on the back of your head. he's pulling you closer, if that was even possible. it's as if he's afraid you'll slip through his fingers too. "you need a shoulder to cry on, not me." he mutters. "just--"
"aether."
your brother flinches at your tone. he chuckles tightly. "who's older here, me or you?"
you return the gesture, burying your fingers in his blonde hair. he probably won't let it out yet; he's never been the type to do so. he and lumine were far better at controlling their emotions than you were. for now, you suppose you'll let it slide. "whatever," you sigh. "you can stop squeezing me, you know. i'm not gonna go anywhere. promise."
aether loosens his grip on you, but he doesn't let go. that must have been exactly what he needed to hear. "me neither." his voice is small, but his words are affirming. the two of you sigh in unison, making you giggle. "i'm not going anywhere. i swear."
it was you and your brother against this world. you wouldn't have it any other way.
✧— 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 — ✧
absolute pain in the ass older brother. the worst. horrible. annoying.
i'm kidding... sorta.
childe is the older brother who smushes your face with his hand just because he can
the brother who puts his entire body weight on you and challenges you to push him off
the brother who will literally fight you for the last snack in the pantry
but he's also the older brother who sits there and lets you play connect the dots with the freckles that barely exist on his face
the brother who does his best not to embarrass you when you're around friends or potential suitors
he's the best wingman in the world and the coolest older brother ever
his harbinger status means nothing to you
you're a big girl! you know what that means!
you don't brag about it; you show off your brother in a very different way
childe is prepared for many things. one could even say that he's prepared for anything.
monster ambush? no problem. an ancient deity threatening to sink all of liyue harbor? simple!
but childe... ajax was not prepared to see you sobbing in his office at northland bank.
when he arrived a few minutes earlier, every agent went on their guard. it's normal for them to do that since he's their boss, but something about their alertness was suspicious to him. he approached ekaterina and demanded to know what was going on.
"lord harbinger, it's..." the receptionist trailed off. her eyes were hidden by her mask, but childe could feel her looking away. he started to tap his finger on the wood; a sign of his growing impatience. not wanting to upset him further, ekaterina came clean. "it's your sister, sir."
childe's finger froze. "what about them?"
"they arrived not too long ago looking for you, but..."
"if you're doing this for dramatic effect, i will inform you right now that you're doing a terrible job. that," childe's finger began tapping again, faster this time, "and my patience is wearing very thin. what happened to my sister? tell me; that's an order."
though she was frightened, ekaterina couldn't bring herself to say any more. "she's in your office, sir. she wouldn't talk to any of us, so i feel that you should see the mess for yourself."
the mess? childe nodded briefly in thanks and sped to his office. it wasn't a far walk, but it felt like an eternity. were you okay? did someone hurt you? he grimaced as his hand hovered over the door to his office.
if someone did hurt you, was it because of him? it was no secret that he was a part of the fatui, and you'd been seen with him on multiple occasions. after the osial incident, people became particularly hostile towards the fatui, and even though you weren't a member yourself, you received the same foul treatment they did. probably even worse since you were childe's sister.
childe could handle the heat and he knew you could as well, but if someone touched you...
fueled by a sudden wave of anger, he swung open the door to the office and saw you hunched over in a chair, your face in your hands. you were trying to muffle your sobs from the sound of it, and--
was that blood on your shirt?
ajax is crouching in front of you in an instant. he's always been good at consoling you and your siblings. to the others, he's the perfect older brother; the one who sends trinkets and souvenirs from his travels; the one who's always kind and considerate, even when he's upset. but when he tugs your hands away from your face, he's anything but gentle.
he confirms what he saw before getting closer. there's splotches of blood your shirt, and when he inspects your hands closely and sees your knucles cut and bruised, he puts the pieces together. "you got in a fight." he says tersely. "whose blood is this?"
"s'not mine," you sniff. you try to pry your hands away, but ajax's grip is unrelenting. you don't know why you bothered in the first place. you look away from your brother, feeling like a scolded child under his harsh gaze. ajax always, always told you never to fight unless absolutely necessary. he was very clear about why you shouldn't.
"there's strength in numbers," he told you quietly. he was almost whispering, as though he was telling you something he shouldn't. "people won't stand up for you in a fight -- they would gang up on you instead."
you wrinkled your nose at him. "but you always fight people in groups."
ajax flashed you a cocky grin and squeezed your nose, chuckling when you fought him off. "yeah, but that's because i'm stronger than you, kid." his grin dropped off his face as fast as it came. "now pay attention. do you know why else you shouldn't get into fights here?"
you thought for a second and pointed at the electro vision on your hip questioningly, but ajax shook his head at you.
"close, but no. the second reason," he started, "is because of this." without warning, he pulls a small dagger out his back pocket and holds it to your neck. you don't waste a second, moving to disarm him as quickly as he taught you. almost in the blink of an eye, you've taken the blade from your brother and pressed it against his neck. his smile came back, this time full of pride.
"now, do you know why i don't want you fighting others?" he asked. "it's because you're my sister."
call him a bad influence, but ajax feels a familiar sense of pride swell in his chest when you tell him the blood isn't yours. there's also relief mixed in there somewhere, but it's overshadowed by the satisfaction. he doesn’t smile at you though; he's got to keep up the act. he wants to praise you for doing a good job, but you were a wreck before he came in, and you obviously wouldn't be covered in someone's blood for no reason. he keeps 'big brother mode' turned on and lets you go. "well? what happened?"
you find a clean part of your sleeve and wipe your face free of tears. you're trying to stall for time, but ajax can tell. you sigh and recount the story to him.
it wasn't your fault.
you were minding your business, taking a stroll down by the docks when some large fishermen recognized you and began to shout for you to leave. you ignored them; this happened every so often, so it was easy to tune them out. you kept on your stroll, walking down by the water.
you've always been fascinated by the water, even when you were still in snezhnaya. you envied your brother's hydro vision once, but after giving it some thought, you figured that there was no one better suited for it than him. that, and it made sparring with him all the more interesting. after basking in the sun for a little while longer, you decided to head back to northland bank to wait for ajax to return. but as soon as you turned to leave, you found yourself blocked by four boys, each one taller than you.
"do you guys need something?" you asked.
their scathing words went in one ear and out the other. each of them had something to rude say about you; they must have been trying to get a rise out of you.
enraged by your nonchalance, one of the boys shoved you, hard. you caught yourself just before you could fall into the water and gave them an icy glare -- it was the one you've seen ajax give his opponents every now and again. it obviously didn't have the same effect, because the boys decided to rush you.
after that...
"after that?" ajax prompts you to continue, but you shake your head. "then, why were you crying? did they hurt you? do i have to intervene? talk to me."
man, if only the fatui knew ajax could look like this. the stern look has long since faded and been replaced by concern. he's pulled out his handkerchief and started wiping your face and hands with such tenderness, you almost forget that he's a harbinger. you tell him the truth. "some locals saw me fighting." you mumble. "they called the millelith and said i just went beserk and started punching them, but they touched me first, ajax! what else was i supposed to do? none of them believed me -- no one helped me, no one stood up for me, i-- i was so alone, and--"
your brother balls up his handkerchief and sits in the chair beside you. his arm wraps around your shoulders and he shushes you as tears begin to fall again. for a while, he just lets you cry. if there's anyone on teyvat who knows what you're feeling, it's ajax.
he sees so much of himself in you. it terrifies him; breaks what's left of his heart into smaller pieces.
a large part of ajax wants to resort to his usual methods. he wants nothing more than to press you for details so he can find the people who hurt you and teach them a lesson, but when he glances at you again, he figures that now is as good a time as any to give it a rest. this isn't a mess he'd ever be able to clean up, and you've been hurt enough; he doesn't want to make it worse.
instead, he drops a gloved hand on your head. "you did a good job," he says with a serene smile. for a split second, you see some light in ajax's eyes. it always happens whenever he speaks to you or your other siblings -- it's one of your favorite sights in the world. "i'm so proud of you."
"but," you frown, "i beat people up."
ajax laughs heartily. "you think i'm gonna be mad at you for fighting someone? me? really? c'mon."
he has a point. he did advise you not to fight, but if it can't be helped, then it can't be helped. you lean your head on his shoulder. "i still made those people hate me."
ajax hums. "well, they're gonna hate you -- hate us -- regardless of what we do. that's just life. i wish i could send you home, kid; i'm sorry you have to go through this because of me."
his voice goes soft at the end. he must be beating himself up about all this. you flex your fingers, hissing when the cuts begin to sting. "i don't wanna go home, ajax. not without you. i can handle this! i guess i just need more practice."
your brother tilts his head down at you, an incredulous smile on his face. "you were just crying because you got in a fight and you're already trying to start another one?" he asks. he nudges you gently off his shoulder and makes his way across the room. he comes back with a first aid kit and kneels in front of you again, taking your hand and starts to treat the wounds. "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were trying to take my job."
you wince when an alcohol pad swipes over your knuckles. "who knows, maybe i'll become the new eleventh harbinger some day."
ajax looks up at you, his eyes flashing. you know that look very well. "is that a challenge?"
"you bet your ass it is!"
"that's my girl. as soon as i'm done with your hands, it's on. clear?"
you nod sharply. "crystal."
✧ (i've never felt so alive <( ̄︶ ̄)> i hope you enjoyed it!!)
Genshin Impact 2.5 - Anime Version
V i g i l
A/N: Here is the Kazuha angst, sweeties :')) I wrote this with my prepared angsty playlist hehe- I.. well, my heart cracked..
✤ She/her
Words: 3.9k
"Text in this format means dialogue in flashback!"
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
The memory of peering into the crib with excited blabbers remains fresh, untarnished with the passing of time.
It feels like it’s just yesterday when your mother reached for the wailing baby laying inside to hand him in your caring touch.
“This is your little brother, [Name].” you squealed when the boy clung unto your finger, “His name is Kazuha. Be a good sister for him, understand?”
“Yes!”
Ah, that did feel as if it was just yesterday.
“Nee-chan!”
Dropping the basket of laundry, you frantically looked around.
“Nee-chan!”
“Kazuha-!?”
He was sprinting, arms flailing as tears spilled past his eyes and panicked exclaims left his lips. His friend was chasing him from behind, laughing as he waved an undercooked fish—your brother’s worst nightmare.
Comedic but understandable.
“Tomo’s making me eat it!” your younger brother mumbled behind you, pointing accusingly towards his friend who sheepishly spluttered excuses at your stern gaze.
Taking the skewered fish in Tomo’s hands, you hummed, patting his and Kazuha’s heads.
“How about I cook something for the both of you, instead? How’s that sound?”
“Yes, please! Nee-chan’s cooking is the best!”
You can never get tired of cooking for the two of them, even if your sibling eventually asked to be taught, you find yourself still taking over cooking duty. Lovingly whipping up dishes is your forte.
It stuck around when the household eventually lost the attending servants following the fall of the Kaedehara clan. It even stuck through the grim times of your parents’ passing.
Kazuha had went through so much at a young age, changed little by little—and you aren’t oblivious to it. With his growth, you are a witness to his budding shell of maturity.
Single years fold into a decade and all of a sudden, the mirthful silverette who doesn’t last a day without calling you ‘big sister’ has grown up.
Far too quickly, to be honest, but who are you to hold him back?
“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,” you laugh jokingly, “My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”
He stares at the plates of food you set on the dining table, his sigh small and feeble as you continue gushing. Albeit he has a smile on his face, it appears tight. Forced.
But you turn a blind eye to that—you’ve always been doing it.
Now, however, it seems that your brother has grown tired of humoring you. It has been going on for too long.
“I’m not some child anymore..” his monotonous voice is so unlike him—it’s as if he no longer is the person you grew up with.
Having him address it bluntly prompts you to pause, the only sound being the sizzling of unagi meat, frying to perfection. The richness of its color, however, dulls when you process what your sibling has mentioned.
As if its vividness is an illusion meant to shield you from present-day reality.
Still, you shake it away, keeping the smile on your face as you set the fried meat on a new plate, turning to put it down on the table beside the other dishes.
“Oh, Ka-“ you stop, seeing the look in his eyes.
The way his carmine optics bore against your [c]s is foreign.
It’s scary.
It’s different. It’s new.
You sit down in front of him, trying not to show how restless you’ve become. Such an attempt is futile, of course, since you’re in front of the person you’ve been with for years.
“Kazu-“
Thud!
Silence zips your lips when he lays his chopsticks down. It isn’t by any means a slam—but someone like Kazuha doesn’t need to be outright with anything in order to express a negative opinion.
“So please refrain from initiating unnecessary coddling,” he cuts you off with a swivel as he leaves for the door. “I have grown up now, sister. I... need you less.”
What?
A multitude of emotions hit you at once, all coming from his sudden statement that feels like it can tear you apart. But oh—who were you kidding?
You know that this will eventually come.
The very day where he admits that he is capable of being alone. Without you.
The opening of the door causes you to stand from your chair, “Wait!”
He does as you said but doesn’t look back. His hand remains on the handle of the knob, unchanging of his decision to leave.
You tug the black and red scarf from your neck, inching close to the man so you can wrap it around his neck. “It’s cold outside.. won’t you at least eat something?”
It takes him a moment to respond—but his decision does not change.
He detangles the fabric on his neck and, without looking you in the eye, sets it in your hand, rejecting your offer.
“Later.”
And he’s gone.
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
Nothing changed much after he left with that declaration.
Often times he still returns in the dead of night, a smile on his face. It will only ever droop when you come in the room greeting him a lovely evening, and he will sigh.
“I told you not to wait up for me.”
He will depart for his room before he can hear your explanation.
It leaves you hanging, hollow with bitter hope and refusal to believe that you both have reached that time in life where he doesn’t need you as much.
Each time he turns his back, you are filled to the brim with sorrow you didn’t know you’re capable of holding.
Retreating to the upper floor of your home, you will stay at the balcony sighing your concerns away to the stars. To the place where you believe your parents are staying, listening to your bouts of frustration and worry.
“Was I a good sibling for him, mother? Father?” you’ll sometimes mutter as you play with your silver locks, the only thing you share with your sibling other than the forgotten name of a once esteemed clan.
And as you vent all these to the stars, you remain oblivious to the lone figure hiding by the shadows in the adjacent room. His frown is tiny. Sad, but not guilty.
Kazuha will leave once again before he’ll hear his sister’s frustrated cries.
Sometimes, he will chew over it when he is wandering Inazuma—thinking, pondering if perhaps there could’ve been a way to say it without hurting his sibling. But as he contemplates over and over, he finds that there is no easy method to admitting the truth.
His friend Tomo, albeit not being told anything, is naturally cognizant of the things revolving around the silver-haired siblings. The older sister’s presence has been diminishing and he can count her appearances at Kazuha’s side getting less.
He has implied several times to make up with the female even if they had no outright argument, and when faced with a baffled question of ‘why’, Tomo only smiles.
“Because you’re family.”
So simple and yet—when Kazuha thinks of the matter a minute longer, the taste in his tongue becomes acrid.
“What upsets you?” his friend questions as he coos over his white feline, “You’re not the Kazuha who’s always crying for big sister, heh.”
The silverette cannot even find it within him to send a retort. His silence, to others, is a message that typifies a want to be alone—but to Tomo, who has known him since they’re both children, that silence is different.
With a hum, he stretches his limbs, yawning as his cat rolls around the grass.
“You know, [Name] won’t hate you for wanting it,” he starts, “You want to wander, don’t you? But you feel like you’re tied down. You’re grounded—because [Name] is here.”
Kazuha flinches and his friend snickers.
Spot on.
“I’m just going to repeat what I said because I meant it, Kazuha. Tell her the truth. She’s literally the most understanding person I know—it’s not like she’s going to despise you for wanting something.”
“… I’ll think about it.”
Tomo sighs. It’s not what I was hoping for but it’s a start.
Remembering something that moment, Tomo lets out a loud scream that nearly sent his friend toppling in the nearby stream of water. Kazuha looks on with slightly wide eyes as the other man jumps to his feet, violet eyes gleaming.
“Oh, right! I plan to initiate another challenge!”
Another challenge…
Kazuha closes his eyes with a hum, “I do hope you’ll last another. You’ve been faced with the worst of the worst.”
The chuckles that leave his friend’s lips are excited and sort of expectant.
“It’s going to be the ultimate one of all! So if you’ll excuse me~”
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
Perhaps a talk with your brother will do you both good.
You’ve both been acting like strangers walking on eggshells underneath the same house and it is driving you insane. He’s not even looking you in the eye anymore!
Given his quiet personality, confrontation will be difficult, but he’s a cooperative person. Besides, he always hears you out.
There isn’t any reason for him not to when he knows that this will be done only for the betterment of the future.
So, with a nervous disposition but eager heart to settle things right, you lift the basket from its place with plans to head over to the market. It’s an hour or two before dusk, just the perfect time to shop for dinner.
“Mm.. some dry-braised salted fish for tonight sounds lovely.” You muse, remembering how the dish is your brother’s favorite.
Ah, the number of tries he takes to perfect and stylish it into his own can’t be forgotten.
It doesn’t take too long to cook it, but you’ll be making tons of other side dishes and dessert, so it’s best to start early!
You exit the abode, the smile on your face present as ever even when you’re greeted outside by a couple of Shogunate Soldiers. Their features appear sterner, their hold on their naginata rock solid.
“Are you Kaedehara [Name]?”
Hm?
“Yes. Can I help you?”
The soldiers lunge forward, spears falling to a position pointing at you from all possible angles, cutting any means of escape as you furrow your brows. “What’s the meaning of this?”
“Your brother has defied the Decree of the Shogun and was hereby declared a criminal. Going against an Imperial Decree results in punishment inclusive to his immediate family.”
Your basket falls to the ground.
Thud!
Kazuha’s feet create a loud sound following his landing, a breath of panic expelling past as he rushes away.
The warmth in his hand escalates to a scalding degree, burning and searing like the fading power of Electro held within the golden casing.
To think that that was what Tomo meant.. !
He does not feel anger, no, just the burn of desperation and want to hide his friend’s Vision because he doesn’t want it to be taken away—to be placed in that statue that displays the lost ambitions of many others.
He’ll be damned before the Shogunate can take it… !
The criminal evades those at his tail, making swift maneuvers on rooftops and alleys without a second thought. His limbs are answering his every command, be it to duck, to jump—or to even draw his blade.
He is still ways away from the port but getting there won’t prove to be too complex for someone like him. He’s cut down plenty of the samurai in his escape from Tenshukaku,
Tomo…
“You’re family. Tell her.”
Family—
“This is the first one in a long time I’ve heard of it being extended-! To whom again? The clan that has lost its prestige a decade ago, right?” he almost trips in his sprinting, darting to an alleyway so he can further eavesdrop.
Did I hear that correctly?
A relieved sigh escapes when those chasing him run past his hiding spot.
Sucking in his breath, the silverette tightens his grip on the faded Vision of his best friend as he listens in the hushed conversation.
“Be quiet!” someone hisses, “If someone overhears us, what next? Still, I do feel bad.. they lost so much already. I can’t believe they’d drag an innocent person into it, too..”
“Well, there’s nothing we can do. The Shogun issued the penalty to immediate families, right? As far as I know, there are only two Kaedeharas left—”
Kazuha feels his heart stopping. Kaede..hara?
There’s no mistaking it.
But why—?
Why would a punishment meant for him extend to her?
She’s innocent!
Going off-course, he sprints in the direction of his house. The house that he lives in with his sister who takes great care of him—the same sister he’s willing to leave in favor of chasing what he wants in life.
He’s willing to, but he doesn’t.
Because perhaps—perhaps if he stayed and buried his desire, then he will amount to the same greatness she has done for him. But he cannot stand it, either. As patient as he is, as kind and ‘gentle’, [Name] can always see through his face.
He’s always been antsy—always itching to wander and he’s stumped that his sister is well-aware of that fact. Still, she’s always playing the ignorant one, pretending not to care- still coddling him as if he’s little and he’s had… enough of it.
But now that the situation has pinned this misfortune upon them, the ronin realizes that she’s only pretending for his sake, as well.
“Cut that out, I don’t need it. I fear that.. you will only embarrass yourself.”
Wasn’t it him who refused to tell her of his want to roam free in the first place?
“I understand that I am your brother—but there is no need to worry over me all the time. I can look after myself, [Name]. Do worry about something else, instead.”
Wasn’t it him who stuck around, still?
The bitterness in his tongue increases with each leap of his feet. He doesn’t even process the race of his heart as he’s carried through the same path that leads him home. To his family—to his only sister.
Everything seems to pass by slowly, in a blur, like the specks that decorate his vision the more his mind throws stacks and stacks of memories. This is madness.
Complete and utter madness.
He rounds the corner to see the figure of his only sibling, her back turned to him—she cannot see him, but he can see the armed soldiers flanking around her.
His throat tightens and certainly, he wouldn’t have been able to utter a word due to how it feels like his throat has been crushed.
“[Name]!”
Yet, the furious scream that tears past his lips denies all kinds of ‘impossibility’ the instant he sees the female falling to the ground, the sight of red splatter making him draw his blade.
Whoosh!
The summoned wind is opposingly gentle to the brewing storm in someone’s beautiful carmine eyes.
“[Name]-.. !”
That voice.. Kazuha?
Sometimes, the depth of emotion in Kazuha’s eyes is too deep for you to understand. Despite being so silent, he’s so, so expressive with his stares.
That even when he isn’t trembling when he lifts your torso, you know how much he’s quaking from within.
“What are you.. doing here? You have to go,” you cough red when he adjusts you in his arms, the sight of the fallen soldiers reminding you of the situation at hand. “Quick—before they.. catch you.”
He shakes his head,
“I’m taking you with me, I have a boat prepared, come, let’s—”
“Don’t lie to me, Kazuha.”
He pauses, flitting his gaze down to meet yours. You hate how you can’t seem to focus on him, though. Your sight is blurring in and out, only providing small intervals of clarity where you can see the panic in his features.
A sight you didn’t think you’d see on him until now.
“I know you made it for yourself. You’ve been planning to leave home, weren’t you? I’m not..” you’re not oblivious to his wish, “I’m not mad. I was only holding you back, wasn’t I?”
He sucks in a breath.
“I-I-“
What was he supposed to say?
Weakly tapping his arm, you start taking quick breaths—just to take in all the air you can while tolerating the gaping wound from being impaled.
It hurts. You want to scream. It hurts.
But you don’t—because you do not want to appear weak to your brother.
You promised mother and father that you will not cry when faced with problems—he mustn’t see, Kazuha mustn’t see. But at this moment, you just want to break apart. Disbelief is kicking in, you can’t believe this is happening.
When—where did everything go wrong?
“Besides, I’m not of use to you anymore. As if I’ll last the journey to Liyue-“
“Don’t say that!”
You blink owlishly, gasping out in pain when his hand presses against your wound, futilely attempting to hold back the bleeding.
“K-Kazuha?”
Your own hand shakily plants itself atop his own, helping him press—as if his hand isn’t heavy enough to stop the flow—it down. It will hurt, but you can’t say for sure. You’ve already grown numb and your head is swimming.
Still, you focus on him.
Still, you help him apply pressure even if you know—even if he knows—that it’s too late.
“Don’t say that. You’ve..” his voice cracks, “You’ve done so much, [Name], you-“
You took over the clan household when our parents died. You struggled to make ends meet for both of us. And yet.. all I do.. all I do is… !
Kazuha angrily bites on his lip, his hold on his composure beginning to slip as his mind throws in a reel of olden days.
“I’m leaving, [Name]. Please don’t wait up, I may take longer.”
“I’m grateful, but I don’t need that anymore.”
“Stop that, already.”
He dips his head with a muffled cry. All I do is wander and desire for a future where I can roam freely. I haven’t even thought of you..!
“You’ve grown, Kazuha,” he snaps back into this harsh reality when he feels the hand atop his disappear, presently moving to brush his messy locks.
He doesn’t know why all of a sudden his sight is becoming misty, but perhaps—perhaps it is because he remembers when his sister used to brush his hair the same way with a loving smile.
It is the same touch he flees from nowadays.
The same touch now—the same loving smile.
“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right—you’ve grown so much.. and I’m still clinging onto the past.”
So lively, so beautiful and yet—
“You’re strong now..”
Yet it’s dying.
He presses harder on his sibling’s wound, almost sadistically—as if he’s hoping that it’ll ignite a painful reaction. “[Name], please, let me-“
Because if it hurt—then it means she’s still okay. She’s still responding.
“So capable.. so independent, you are.”
So why—? He almost chokes out a sob. Why are you not reacting to it!?
“Mother and father would be so proud of you. I am sorry if I was lacking in any way.”
“Please, [Name], you can’t do this.” He trembles, the composure he created so, so close to breaking as he gives up on endeavors that are pointless, to begin with. Instead, he tilts his head up, wishing to curse the heavens above.
For everything.
“I’m happy to be your sister, and.. I’m proud of you… Kazu..”
“Wait-“ he stumbles over his words, catching the falling hand of his sibling and registering how deathly pale she has gotten in a matter of seconds. “Wait, please—I-“
As much as he wants to voice out he’s sorry. For many things; for turning his back on her, for being distant when all they have is each other, he’s unable to find his voice when he sees the tears dripping out of his sister’s [c] eyes.
His strong older sister—weeping. It’s the first time he has seen her cry.
Her smile trembles—
“I love you. My nice.. little.. brother.”
—And her [c]s are then hidden forever.
The way she endearingly called him in her dying breath has him freezing, his heart pausing as if he had died along with her. But then the spark of pain welcomes him back to reality—to life.
And then he is leaning over her.
“[Name]..” breathless whispers escalate into panicked murmurs. “[Name]?”
His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to shake her awake, like when he’d do when he’s eight and awake from an awful dream.
“Nee-san.. can I sleep by your side tonight?”
And although her [c] eyes are tired, she will still smile. “Okay.”
And she’d keep watch over him the whole night.
He’s reminded of it when he hopelessly shakes her awake, to no obvious avail. But he keeps grasping her arms, anyway, like he used to many years ago.
But things are different now.
“[Name]—[N-Name]!?”
He said it himself—he’s no longer a child.
“Please, don’t leave me- I- you’re all I have left!” The ronin’s composure finally breaks loose and his tears begin landing like a profuse waterfall. His uncontained sobs remain unheard.
This time, there is no one to wake him up from his nightmares.
“No—no, no- no, please..!” Kazuha weeps as he holds his sister’s cold hand, shakily pressing it to his forehead, imitating the sweet action she has always given him. A hand on his head, on his shoulder—or on his cheek if he’s tearful. “You can’t!”
She’ll tell him not to be sad because it’ll make her sad, too.
And he’ll hurriedly wipe his tears because ‘no! big sister mustn’t feel sad because of me!’.
Then [Name] will muster a smile as bright as the sun and hold his face in her warm hands, and press a kiss on his forehead. He’ll get red and thrash around, whining, ‘onee-san!’. And about how embarrassing it is so she mustn’t do it anymore.
Now, he is holding her hand in his own, trying to remember the same warmth it emitted just a day ago. Just a few hours ago. How long has it been?
And when he doesn’t feel the warmth—when he doesn’t remember the warmth, when all he feels is the cold and the obvious lack of love, Kazuha breaks apart.
His heart squeezes and his tears spill more, his lips parting to release the honorific he has dropped a long, long time ago. “Nee-san!”
“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,”
“Onee-san!”
“My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”
“Onee-san!”
I’m calling you. He cries, like a picture of misery. So why aren’t you waking up? Sister! He cries, like a heartbroken child.
The winds around him pick up, warning him of incoming men sent to apprehend and penalize him the same way they did to his sibling. It’s suffocating—maddening, even, and he wants to tear them all down himself.
But [Name] wouldn’t like that.
So, with a muted cry and bolster of willpower, he tears himself from the body of his kin, trembling.
He can hear the thundering steps of the samurai as he hurries to untangle the same black and red scarf [Name] has once attempted to give him. The same fabric he has rejected.
“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” he hugs her with all his might, with his soul, and with his heart before he’s back up on his feet and running. I love you, too, nee-san.
“Get him!” someone roars from behind.
And although he wishes to turn and slice them away, he couldn’t—because he’d be seeing the fallen figure of the same person he had neglected to cherish. So, instead, he nestles the scarf around his neck whilst clutching onto the Vision of his friend.
Down the path, he runs.
Years ago, he will be accompanied by the people he loves, chasing a faraway future.
Now he is running on the same path alone, running after a dream that can now be turned into reality.
Far from Inazuma.
Far from home.
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
a/n: did it hurt-
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ Return to the Scrying Glass ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
≿————- taglist ————-≾
@lehra @melkxsh
boo ! super long p5t comic
i drew this b4 i knew the dlc was taking palace during sae’s palace,,, so i drew it with an au where joker enters a little palace area that makes it so whoever the palace ruler touches or something they’re mentally in the happiest moment of their life. akechi happiest moment is when hes running around w the phantom thieves ^_^ and sumire is when she is in kasumi’s place living out the life sumire wanted for her ! also akechi is not fake :3c joker just thinks he is
fleeting colors in flight ✨🏮⛅
the twin’s smiles are so precious (´∀`)♡
May I request the reader being childe’s younger sibling in their teen years and ends up falling into the abyss while he’s off in Liyue
what happened to you?
# — characters: gender neutral reader, childe/ajax, skirk, zhongli, aether, lumine, kaeya, albedo
# — summary: you're not the same person ajax left behind.
# — warnings: blood/fighting/injury mentions
# — tags: hc/drabble format, egregious canon divergence, angst, fluff ??, abyss prince aether, kaeya and albedo are associated with the abyss, traveler lumine
# — notes: when i saw this req, i got so fucking excited, you have no idea. this is so cool to think about, holy shit. when i say i sat here and wrote this for hours, i mean it very very seriously. also, if it wasn't already obvious, i have a thing for making the reader strong, so this is really up my alley. anyways, as always, reblogs are appreciated and i'd love to know what you think about this! i hope you enjoy!
# — tag list: @marius-z @sxnnyserene @favonius-captain @the-gayest-sky-kid @chichikoi
want to join the tag list?
✧ — 🐋 — ✧
it's actually not specified just how many older siblings childe has, but it is known that he has some
so let's say for the sake of this post that you were born after ajax
the gap between you two isn't very large -- he's in his very early twenties and you're in your late teens -- but it's enough to make a difference
he treats you almost the same as he treats tonia, teucer, and anthon, and no matter how much you tell him to stop, he just .. won't
don't get me wrong, ajax is an amazing older brother
it's just that he has this habit of treating you like a little kid
you followed closely at his heels when you two were a bit younger
you looked up to him despite him being a timid boy, because though he was timid, he was ambitious
even before he became a fighter, he vowed to protect you by any means necessary
so, onto the abyss.
when ajax returned after being missing for three days, you tried to cling to him as you usually did, but a simple glance at him told you everything you needed to know about him
whoever it was that came out of that forest... wasn't your brother.
something was missing in your brother's eyes when he came home that day -- something important. you didn't notice it at first, but you were still the first to notice something was wrong.
when he ran away with nothing but a bag of bread and a shortsword, you shared in your mother's grief, even at the age of 10. with snezhnaya's unforgiving weather, you were sure that you would stumble across ajax's frozen body within a day. your father was on a trip somewhere far away, and your mother was too busy tending to your lively home to set out to search for her son herself.
"we just have to wait," your mother told you, her face swollen from crying for hours. she loved each and every one of you more than she loved herself; if something happened to any one of you, it would surely break her down. you wept with your mother as she cradled you in her arms. "by the grace of the cryo archon, he'll return." she whispered.
you, like many other snezhnayans, trusted in the cryo archon's judgement, even if she was merciless at times. you said silent prayers for two nights, hoping that she would answer.
when dawn broke on the third day, you truly thought the tsaritsa heard your desperate pleas.
you were the first one awake that morning. you often climbed into bed with ajax since you had frequent nightmares and a horrid fear of the dark, but without him there to fight off the terrors of the night, you couldn't sleep very well. you quietly trudged around your house with your favorite blanket draped across your shoulders. mornings were quiet in your house, even if there were so many of you living there.
you gazed tiredly out the window at the snowy terrain. you remembered your mother's words about waiting and rested your head on the cool windowpane. you would have given anything to see your brother walk out from the forest in the distance, safe and sound.
apparently, you didn't have to give a thing. movement in the distance caught your eye and you squinted, straining your eyes to try and make out the features of the stranger. as they got closer, you pick up the faint image of a familiar shortsword.
it's him. it had to be. you were sure of it.
not caring if you were wrong, you shed your blanket and flung open the door, your face aching with how wide your smile was. "ajax!" you screamed at the person.
they halted in their tracks at the sound of the same and waited for a few seconds before they picked up the pace, sprinting towards you. once they got a little closer, you noticed the familiar head of orange hair and ran to meet them halfway, your bare feet sinking into the snow.
your mother and siblings came running down the stairs behind you, afraid that something had happened to you, but stilled themselves when they saw you tackling your brother into a crushing hug, the two of you collapsing into the snow with loud laughter.
"we were so worried about you!" you cried, your arms tightening around your brother. he was still laughing. "why did you leave us?"
ajax pushed himself up and took you along with him, hoisting you into his arms as he started towards the house. you yelped at the swift movement and wrapped your legs around him. "i wanted to explore by myself for a while," he said, his hand patting your back. "i scared you, didn't i?"
you nodded quickly. "mhm! more than the monsters under the bed!"
ajax made a soft sound. "that's no good. i'm sorry. i'll make it up to you when we get inside, okay? let's get you warmed up first."
your entire family doted on ajax all day when you two got inside. you all treated him to his favorite foods and games while your mother inspected him for injuries despite his insistence that she stop.
that should have been the warning sign.
when the day ended and everyone returned to their rooms to head to sleep, you and ajax stayed on the living room floor and talked about his time away. you told him about how you tried to be a big kid with him gone -- how you tried and failed to fight off any monsters that may have been lurking in your room. ajax patted your head with an apologetic smile.
"i'll crush those monsters for you tonight, okay?" he said.
at first you were excited to agree, but as you looked at your brother with the same starry eyes you always did, you found that something was.. off.
maybe it was the wording of his promise that tipped you off. he sounded far too enthusiastic about the idea of fighting off non-existent monsters. you knew very well that there were no monsters in your room; you were just afraid of the dark. it made you feel better to think there were so you could pretend to beat them up and conquer your fears. if you were both aware that this nightly monster hunt was a game, why did he look so excited by the idea of a battle?
you stared at ajax for a little while longer, trying to figure out if you were just making stuff up because you were scared. once you were in panic mode, it was hard to not see everything as some sort of monster. ajax was always the exception to that feeling.
or at least, he used to be.
you nodded and made an excuse about having to use the bathroom, scurrying up the stairs as quickly as your feet could manage. your breathing began to pick up as you recalled what you saw -- or more precisely, what you didn't see -- in your brother's eyes.
the two of you were beneath the ceiling lights.
then why couldn't you see the lights reflected in his eyes?
ajax wasn't stupid. he picked up on your sudden fear of him right away that day.
he found it odd, though, that you didn't behave as though you were afraid of him.
there was a wall between you two that wasn't there before, but every so often you would reach across it, even when he caused trouble and started unnecessary fights.
your relationship mended itself over time because of his gratitude.
you were the only member of the family who knew of his early promotion to harbinger status. you disagreed with his way of life, but you tried not to treat him any different.
ajax was a different person altogether, and yet you still tried to accept that new person as your brother.
ajax, now childe, revises his vow:
to protect you and your light at all costs.
he did what he could to protect you, even from afar when he was sent to liyue. you exchanged letters with him that were separate from the ones he sent to the family
he would detail his plans and his complaints, and send you special gifts recommended by this zhongli person he met.
he tells you via letter one day that he met a fascinating blonde traveler. from a moment's glance, he knew she would be the perfect sparring partner and he told you as such
but towards the end, he tells you how much he thinks you would like her.
she was a lot like you, apparently.
so naturally, you decide that you have to meet her. crazy as your brother may be, it's not every day that you hear about ajax being so amazed by someone who wasn't the tsaritsa
you pack your stuff and sneak away in the night, making your way to the harbor by taking a shortcut through the forest
unfortunately, you ended up taking a very, very, VERY long detour.
when you come to, you immediately realize that there's a gap in your memory.
you remember tucking away ajax's last letter to you under your pillow; you remember walking through the forest to get to the docks; you remember being startled so badly by a passing deer that you slipped.
after that...
your body enters survival mode in an instant as you take in your surroundings. you were a smooth, ebony marble floor and as you look around, you notice that the rest of this room -- this castle -- was made of a similar material. you appear to be in a dark throne room of sorts; there was some obvious wear and damage that tainted the room, but there was an undeniable elegance in the obsidians, navys, golds, and silvers that made up the room.
how did you end up in a castle, of all places? did you fall and hit your head so hard that you fell into a coma? were you just dreaming? what throne room would be in the middle of the forest?
"another one?" a voice comes from in front of you, where the throne is. you blink rapidly when you actually see a blonde man in strange clothing sitting there. he wasn't there before, was he? you were alone a second ago.
"do the people of teyvat only know how to stare?" he scoffs at you, crossing one leg over the other. "what happened to common greetings?"
the blonde stranger has eyes that match the golden plating of his clothes, you notice. they burn holes through you as they seem to glow brighter in the dark atmosphere. he's suddenly joined by two other men; one with long blue hair and an eyepatch, and another with ashy light blonde hair and teal eyes so bright, you almost feel the need to shield your eyes. the newcomers stand on opposite sides of the throne, each of them assuming different postures.
"with all due respect," the man with teal eyes speaks. his voice is smooth and quiet. "the people of teyvat are not used to circumstances like this."
the blonde in the throne clicks his tongue impatiently. "then why do they put themselves in said circumstances?" his eyes haven't left yours for a second. you're too shell-shocked to speak; it must show on your face, because the blonde outlander raises an eyebrow at you, a small smirk forming when he sees you back away. "cute. they're afraid of me."
you struggle to find your voice. "wh-who," you swallow dryly, "who are you people? where am i? how did i get here?"
the blue-haired man leans on the throne nonchalantly. "my, my," he croons, "so many questions, and you've only just arrived here, little one." he chuckles when you visibly shudder at the sound of his voice. "i think we ought to introduce ourselves, no?"
the man with teal eyes hums in agreement. "i think that'd be best. we need to appear less threatening if we want them to start talking."
you make a small squeaking sound. what were they going to do to you if you didn't talk? thanks to your years of being around ajax, you picked up on his ability to read environments very well. this new place is terrifying and reeks of ancient death, but the men before you seem completely harmless, though that does little to soothe you. you were an intruder in their eyes, and only the archons know what they might do to an intruder like you.
you squeeze your eyes shut, fearing the worst. you just wanted to see your brother again -- wanted to see how happy he was in liyue. you didn't ask for all this. you just wanted to go home.
"it's been a while since someone's come down here." a woman's voice comes from behind you, scaring you enough to make you yelp out loud. her voice is rich and rough around the edges. she chuckles as you scoot backwards on the floor in an attempt to stay away from her. "we got ourselves a scaredy-cat this time, your highness."
your highness?!
you whirl back around to look at the blonde man in the chair. the white accents of his clothes and jewelry glow in response to the title. he was royalty? your stomach drops as your brain reminds you of what happens to people who disrespect those of such high standing.
"enough, skirk." the prince orders. "don't give them the wrong idea."
the woman -- skirk, apparently -- shrugs and walks towards the throne. "fine, fine." when she gets to where the prince and the other two men are, she shifts her weight onto one leg as she examines you from afar. her eyes suddenly light up with recognition. "say, kid; you wouldn't happen to be related to an 'ajax', would you?"
you feel the blood drain from your face. "h-how do you know my brother's name?"
skirk laughs. "i knew you looked familiar! say, how is he these days? i've been meaning to kick his ass again someday, but he never visits."
the prince snorts. "you'd prefer if people fell in this hellhole more often?"
"eh, it keeps me on my toes."
"how," you raise your voice abruptly, "how do you know my brother? answer me!"
you're not sure where you got the confidence to speak to these strangers with such force, but as time passes, you realize that you're cornered. each of these people possess so much raw power that you can almost taste it; even if you stayed quiet, you'd be no closer to escaping this place unscathed. so, you figure you may as well get as many answers as you can before they kill you.
you feel yourself break into a cold sweat at the thought of dying here. you were going to die alone -- your family has no idea that you left home and ajax thinks you're still at home, helping your mother around the house. none of them would know that you ended up here. ajax, anthon, tonia, teucer... none of them would know a thing. tears sting your eyes but you blink them away.
skirk makes an impressed noise. "your brother wasn't as brave as you, y'know." she praises. "he tried to act all tough in the beginning, but i heard him crying himself to sleep for like, a week. but you... you've got guts. i like it."
you give skirk your dirtiest scowl and feel exasperation build when she smiles at you. ajax ended up here when he went missing all those years ago? well, it was no wonder he came back a different person; these people were fucking insane. he's lucky he was able to fight and survive for so long.
skirk's words replay in your head. did she say ajax was here for a week? but that doesn't make any sense. he was only gone for three days.
"what is this place?" you ask after a moment.
"and that," the prince suddenly stands, "is where i come in. i think we should get on with these introductions, don't you?"
"what?" you blurt. "b-but you didn't answer my--"
the blonde ignores you. he introduces himself as aether. "currently, i'm in charge of whatever is left of this place. this," he points to the man with teal eyes, "is albedo. this man here is kaeya," he points at the man with blue hair, "and this--"
skirk holds up a hand, cutting aether off. you wonder why she hasn't been punished for her insolence yet. "i think i'll do a proper introduction later." she says, her eyes locked on yours. "believe it or not, we have some history together."
aether nods understandingly and makes his way over to you. when he takes a knee a little ways away to look at you at eye level, you belatedly realize that you've been on the floor this whole time. your face warms with shame; you're making a prince kneel because you're too weak to stand on your own.
now that he's closer, though, you notice how... kind his face really is. from this distance, his eyes look less like blinding lights and remind you more of the sun. you almost start to feel warm under his gaze. why was he looking at you like that now when he looked like he wanted to kill you a little while ago?
"you must be scared out of your mind, huh?" aether asks. he's lowered his tone for you. when you don't back away from him, you see the ghost of a smile appear on his face. "i'm sorry about earlier. we have to put up a front if we want people to respect us if and when they show up here."
"who wouldn't respect a prince like you?"
aether's laugh is low and mirthless. "you'd be surprised. here, if you want respect, you have to earn it by any means necessary. we test any intruders by intimidating them because humans reveal their true colors when they're at their most vulnerable."
you blink, dazed by his words. hasn't ajax said something like that before..? "s-so... did i pass?"
you didn't think you said that very loud, but apparently you did, because kaeya and skirk snicker from where they stand. you feel your face burn. aether's smile grows. "yes, little one." he rises to his feet and extends a hand to you, offering to help you up. you hesitate but take his hand regardless, pulling yourself to your feet with aether's help.
"you pass."
what happened then?
as nice as that little introduction to the abyss order was, rest assured that things did not remain that way.
first of all, aether and albedo explain to you in no uncertain terms that you cannot leave this place unless the abyss lets you
you basically have to prove yourself -- prove your worth -- if you want to come and go as you please.
and so, skirk puts you through training
and let me tell you, her training is HELL.
for weeks, you lie awake because of the pain she puts you through for hours at a time.
her endurance training tests not only your stamina, but your pain tolerance. she pushes you to the brink of death and barely waits for you to come back before she's on your ass again
you feel like giving up by the time the first month is over, but skirk sits you down after training one day and explains that you were progressing ten times faster than your brother did.
"ajax wasn't weak," she says, "not by a long shot. but he didn't have any prior training, and that stunted his growth." she hands you something to drink, chuckling when you gulp at it desperately. "did ajax even train you? also, slow down, kid, you might choke."
you gasp for air once you think you're fully hydrated. "no," you say between breaths, "he didn't."
now that you were acutely aware of your natural strengths and weaknesses, you know that you were born with better instincts than the average person. skirk told you that it was actually intuition, but you felt it was more than that. maybe it was a combination of the two.
if it was your intuition, then you would know why you felt the way you did in certain situations. intuition was born out of experiences and was based in your subconscious; in your case, you would have had to experienced all sorts of danger at some point to know why you respond the way you do.
but you didn't have any experience. up until now, you were a completely normal sixteen year old with a normal(-ish) life. somehow, your quick reactions and responses were already hardwired into you. with these sharp instincts, you quickly became a better fighter than even your brother.
skirk frowns at your words. "he should have. there's a lot of potential in you, and you're only just now tapping into it. now," she taps you twice, "let's get back to it."
you groan and stand, ignoring the screaming of your joints.
"oh, and one more thing." skirk pats your shoulder fondly. "happy birthday, kid. let's go."
you gape at your instructor. you never told her your birthday.
somehow, between the hellish training and near death experiences, you found a family in the people you met in the abyss.
your 17th birthday came and went, and before you knew it, you'd been in the abyss for six months.
by this point, you've grown close to the abyss prince
he's incredibly multi-faceted, which made more sense to you when you learned that he wasn't even a being from this world
he's a lot more terrifying and powerful than he looks, which didn't surprise you, considering you could feel power rolling off of him from the moment you met
you also learn that he's a twin and that they're separated from each other. he looks so guilty when he tells you the story.
"i walked away from her." aether says with a bitter smile. "i can't leave this place -- these people. not until i've finished what needs to be done. i'm sure she'll understand soon."
you hum in understanding. if ajax was here for three months, then surely he knew about this too. you wonder, distantly, if you'll be able to reconnect with him after this. "can i ask what your sister's name is?"
aether's smile becomes fond as several memories flash before his eyes. "lumine." he murmurs her name so softly; so reverently. you smile in return. you get that feeling. "her name is lumine."
"i was going to liyue to meet her," you inform the prince. his eyes widen a fraction, but he doesn't look displeased. "ajax talks so highly of her, so i wanted to be her friend."
aether rests a hand on your head. your smile fades when you think that he reminds you of ajax.
"she'd love you as much as i do." the prince says.
you find a family during your time down there.
what happens when you leave?
reality is not as kind to you as i've made it seem
age means nothing in the abyss. you are not spared a single detail. you know everything from your time there.
you fight alongside the remaining peoples of khaenri'ah, doing the job that the famed twilight sword could not.
you are highly respected and feared, but you become jaded in response.
you earn your electro vision while fighting monsters, but it means nothing to you. not when you know what you know.
a year passes in the abyss before you are told by albedo that you should leave with him.
(assuming that ajax was in the abyss for three months but was only missing for 3 days, the same would apply to you. 12 months = 12 days.)
he has responsibilities in mondstadt, but he can ensure that you arrive in liyue safely.
he, like aether, kaeya, and skirk, have become family to you, so saying your goodbyes is a tearful affair
sort of. you haven't cried in almost 5 months now, but you're not emotionless. you don't know the next time you'll see aether or skirk again, so its only natural you get choked up
you take albedo's hand and suddenly... you're in liyue harbor. you have no idea how he managed to get you here, but before you can thank him, he's gone.
you're on your own now, but it doesn't daunt you much. you decide to sightsee before setting off to find your brother.
ajax has become... secondary.
it ticks you off that the people of liyue hold rex lapis in such high regard. if only they knew how much blood their beloved archon had on his hands.
you're also disgusted with your former self; you can't believe you once thought the tsaritsa was worthy of respect. going home seems like a terrible idea.
keep in mind, you're still just a kid, but you've adopted the mind of a warrior -- of a soldier.
(although you will admit, it's strange having had a birthday in the abyss only to re-emerge and still technically be sixteen, but we move)
you have the marks of a soldier all over you; the faded bruises, the scars, fresh and old alike
the calloused hands, the honed senses..
you and ajax are now on the same page; you both see yourselves as weapons
but now, you are weapons pointed at each other.
what does he think when he sees you?
after being your own tour guide and familiarizing yourself with liyue harbor, you decide that it's finally time to face your brother.
you head to northland bank and walk in with your head held high. you know how the people of snezhnaya judge those who look as though they don't belong. the fatui, as snezhnayan citizens, must be even worse than the average person.
you may have been raised in a home overflowing with love, but just outside that home was a nation so unforgiving, even the weather acted as judge, jury, and executioner on behalf of the citizens.
you make your way to the receptionist and keep your expression as blank as possible. "i'm here for the eleventh." you say. it rubs you the wrong way having to address your brother in such a manner, but you brush it off. "where is he?"
the receptionist, ekaterina, glares at you suspiciously from behind her mask. she must be sizing you up. "i'm afraid i don't know who you're referring to." she answers you slowly. "did your parents ask you to say something like this?"
you actually chortle. she has a point; you may not feel like it, but you're still a child. plus, kaeya taught you that you shouldn't try to make yourself tough. doing that would make you seem like an inexperienced idiot. ekaterina asks you what's funny and you shake your head.
"it's nothing. no, my parents didn't put me up to this." you drop your shoulders and roll them back. you'd been holding them so high this whole time because you've never had to put your training into practice on actual people before. the tension seeps right out of you as you realize how easy this is. "i know what i said. should i not have called him the eleventh? should i call him by name?" you smirk when the receptionist begins to fluster. "what? did you think i didn't know who he was?"
"i... would advise against it." ekaterina says. she looks left and right before calling another employee over. they discuss something in hushed tones for a moment before you see the other person start ushering people out of the bank.
confused, you put your hands behind your back and grab your wrist. the sudden emptying of the bank puts you on edge, but you know better than to call on your weapon before your potential opponent does. "is there a reason for this?" you ask as politely as you can muster.
ekaterina gestures to the door and you turn to see two fatui agents blocking it. that was your only exit. "miss, either you explain what's going on, or i find the eleventh myself." you warn lowly. "i'd rather not do the latter."
the receptionist ignores you. "you're a dangerous person, calling on lord harbinger so freely. rather than trouble him with your presence, i believe we should handle you first."
you sigh. not even six hours on the surface and you're already being challenged. you release your wrist and shake your head. you know what you came here for; if your brother was going to be the one to handle you, then you'd prefer that.
"i'd rather not harm you and your co-workers, ma'am." you tilt your head in an attempt to come across as harmless as possible, but you feel the presence of the two fatui agents slowly approaching from behind you. did they think you wouldn't notice them because of their cloaking? "you have about five seconds before i call on him myself. i know he's here."
"your bluffing skills need work, little one." is all ekaterina says before she tilts her chin up. it must be a signal, because the two fatui agents are suddenly speeding at you from both sides.
you avoid them with ease and use all the air in your lungs to call for your brother. "ajax!"
"alright, alright."
to the surprise of the agents who have their knives pointed at your throat, ajax strides down the stairs in the back, his face dark. "is all of this really necessary?" he's speaking to the agents, who have all bowed before him. "who could possibly warrant this kind of behavior from you?"
you clear your throat, forcing your brother to look your way. you wiggle your fingers in greeting and laugh at his expression. "i think they mistook me for someone else." you chuckle.
ajax's humorous expression becomes unreadable very quickly. it's hard to pinpoint what exactly he's feeling as he looks at you. "you..." he murmurs. he steps towards you and holds your face in his hands as gently as his hands possibly can. he flicks his other hand to dismiss the remaining agents, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. "you're here..?"
your smile grows tight with confusion. "uh.. yes? are you gonna start interrogating me now?"
ajax puffs out a breath. "no, that's not..." he suddenly pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.
"a-ajax, this wasn't the reunion i had in mind," you wheeze as you struggle to hug him back. "are you happy to see me or not?"
your brother sniffs softly. "mom told me... you'd gone missing." his voice is quiet and shaky. even before his return from the abyss, he would always lower his voice when he was on the brink of tears. "you ran away from home, didn't you..?"
you're not sure what kind of sharp pain stabs your chest, but you think it might be guilt. without thinking, you did the exact same thing to your parents that your brother did, except this time, they must genuinely believe that you're dead. you tighten your hold on ajax. "i was coming to see you," you confess. "you made lumine sound really cool, so i... i left. i, uh.." you grimace slightly. "got lost."
ajax lets you go at that and goes back to staring at you so intently, you think he's looking for something. just then, you think he finds it, because he suddenly looks disturbed. "you got lost." he repeats. there's something stony and suspicious in his tone. you don't like it. "where exactly? do you know?"
he knows you're lying. or at least, it seems that way. you decide to play dumb. "i dunno," you lie, "i've never been outside snezhnaya."
that part wasn't a lie, but ajax still looks at you in disbelief. "you're not telling me everything." he's starting to glare at you now. "tell me the truth."
"i told you the truth, ajax."
"people don't just go for missing for twelve days, come back alive, and have no recollection of what happened." ajax crosses his arms over his chest. you're picking up on some growing hostility. not disappointment, not relief... hostility. "either tell me the truth, or--"
"or what?" you snap. you knew things would be different when you got back, but you didn't think it would be like this. part of you wanted to keep your relationship with ajax intact, but as the two of you go on your guard, you know that that's not going to be possible. "what will you do, ajax? fight me over a lie?"
ajax's eyebrows twitch. "why do you think i'm going to fight you? do i look like i am?"
"don't act stupid," you gesture to his posture. he's not in any fighting stance, but experience tells you that he's preparing himself for battle. you're not sure if he's going to go on offense or defense, but it doesn't matter. he's wary of you, and he's doing a terrible job of hiding it. "you're terrible at masking bloodlust, ajax."
your brother visibly tenses and takes a step back. recognition flashes in his eyes. "what did you say?"
"i said you fucking suck at hiding when you want to fight. be more subtle about it. i don't wanna fight you anyways." a part of you begins to ache at the way ajax is acting, but at his core, he's the servant of the very archons you were now trained to resist. he was your enemy now, whether you liked it or not.
the ache spreads through your whole body and your frustration fizzles out. why did it have to be this way? you started your journey just to see ajax, so why? why was he looking at you like that? you reach towards him. "i really, really don't want to fight you, ajax." you say brokenly. "please."
ajax doesn't share in your sentiments. you've never seen him in action before, but now, you think you understand what his enemies feel when he's before them. he shakes his head slightly, his expression pained. "would you stop saying my name like that?"
"what? ajax, i--"
"only my family calls me by that name," he cuts in sharply.
tears sting your eyes. "ajax..."
"you're not my little sibling." it looks like it hurts him to say it -- like he doesn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth, but he continues. "i don't know who you are, but you aren't them." he pauses to turn some words over in his mouth. "but... if you are, then... i need you to tell me the truth."
you shake your head. "of course i'm your little sibling! b-but i can't tell you everything, okay? i want to, i do, but skirk, she--" your throat closes. you've said too much.
ajax rushes forward and holds your shoulder tightly. "you met her. i fucking knew something was wrong with you -- that's where you were."
"i c-can't say anymore than that," you cry, tears falling on their own accord. you were so close to losing ajax completely just now. even if you two could never be what you once were, you didn't want to lose your brother. he was all you had now -- if you went home, they'd likely give you the same treatment they gave him. "i was there, but i can't--"
"twelve days... a fucking year?" ajax looks mortified at the thought of being in the abyss for so long. shattered sympathy fills his eyes. "what happened to you?"
you shake your head mutely. you've already said too much. if you say anymore, you might ruin the delicate balance that aether's worked so hard to maintain. so you hug your brother, finally sobbing as the horrors of the past year replay in your mind.
it was terrifying, what happened there. the things you saw and learned were enough to bring the strongest person to their knees. but you, a mere child, stuck around for an entire year, fighting a war you had no business being involved in. you were exhausted and damaged, and you nearly lost the only family you had left.
ajax presses you to his chest, shushing you quietly. "alright, alright. you're safe now." you sob again, and he sighs shakily. if you could see him, you'd see the silent tears on his face. "you're safe."
✧ it's been like. six hours. i really hope this didn't fall apart at the end... anyways, i suppose i'll announce that i'm planning an interactive story event to celebrate reaching 400! it's still in the planning stage, but i just wanted to let you guys know bc i'm really excited :D okay i hope you enjoyed it bye !
Did fanart of this lovely baby owo ❤️❤️ she's actually my main damage atm hewhewhew
A walking joke that can't do shit but cry Names Mia, 18y/o artist , 🇲🇾🇲🇾, trying so hard atm
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