“We’ll Return Together, To Our Home, Bathed In Rays Of Gold.

This song made me FEEL✨ their story>>

✨️Mario "Super Mario Wonder" Appreciation Post✨️

Hiiiiiii im still obsessed with this game <3

Based on how you can find frozen arctic troopers in great white north (and other maps..)

im actually losing my mind over this im gonna start referencing this and nobody can stop me

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

MR GRIZZ IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING EX-HUSBAND!!!

THAT'S RIGHT HE TOOK HIS BEAR FUCKING MAMMAL DICK OUT AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING EX-HUSBAND. AND HE SAID HIS DICK WAS ""THIS BIG""

AND I SAID "THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!" SO IM MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER.COM

MR GRIZZ, YOU GOT A SMALL DICK. IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS SMALLFRY EXCEPT WAY SMALLER

AND GUESS WHAT??? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE *Booom*

THAT'S RIGHT BABY. TALL POINTS, NO HAIR, NO PILLOWS, LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG

*Distant laughter from Callie and slight chuckle from Marie in the background*

HE FUCKED MY HUSBAND SO GUESS WHAT IM GOING TO FUCK THE EARTH

THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!

MY SUPER LASER PISS!!!

EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH.

IM GONNA GO FURTHER.

IM PISSING ON GRIZZCO!!!

*More laughter and chuckles*

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT JUDD??? I PISSED ON GRIZZCO YOU IDIOT!!

YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING SPLAT LANDS

NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO

Ganondorf: I... have come to destroy Hyrule... and bring about the age of a new era, one ruled by power!

Link:

Tears of the Kingdom confirms that 100 years old is about middle age for Zora which is perfectly in line with what information we had been given in BotW regarding Zora age and growth.

Rivan was the only Zora to give a concrete age being "over 130" and claimed that he and Link swam together as childhood friends when Link stayed at the Domain along with the rest of the "Big Bad Bazz Brigade".

"Well, it has been 100 years since then. And now I'm over 130 years old..." / "We used to swim together when I was but a child... Remember?" –Rivan

Furthermore, Rivan has a daughter named Dunma who was very adamant about being not yet 100 years old. She claims that she doesn't speak like those over 100, and now in TotK, another Zora mentions that Zora over middle age of 100 speak differently, more "eloquently".

"We Zora tend to speak more eloquently after reaching middle age." / "I hope that when I reach 100 years, I will also speak as beautifully as our elders. Unless that is too...OLD-fashioned, heh." –Fronk (TotK)

[edit: I got the quote off my Switch after work]

It's hard for me to tell in English, so I can't tell whether Dunma has changed her manner of speech which could suggest she is now 100 years old—she didn't seem that far from the milestone in BotW.

"*sigh* Let's just say I'm less than 100 years old. Can't you tell?" –Dunma

So we can get a good picture of Zora age to maturity with Rivan: he was over 130 in BotW, his daughter was under 100 meaning that he conceived her in his 30s to 40s which suggests that full Zora adulthood is about that age like adult humans hitting about 20 years old. For simplicity, I assume Hylian 20 is about Zora 40.

We can use Rivan to determine how old he was when he called himself a child using Link's age. I assumed that Link was younger than Zelda at first because he is so short, but it turns out he is older since Paya's age was actually influenced by Link so that there be a character around his age:

"Initially, Paya was to be a very young girl, but due to a lack of girls around Link's age in the world, she was changed to be a young woman between 18 and 20 years old." –Creating a Champion

So I will assume Link is about 19 for simplicity.

If Link was 19 during the Calamity and was 4 when he first arrived at the Domain, then 15 years ago, Rivan who was (approximately) 35 during the Calamity would have been 20 years old. Considering that he was approaching 40 when he had Dunma, 20 years old for Zora may align with Hylians at 10 years old.

Since Rivan belonged to a group of friends along with Link, they were probably around a similar age. That includes Gaddison and Bazz in the "Big Bad Bazz Brigade"

"I must ask something of you, traveler. If you know it, speak it now. What is the Big Bad Bazz Brigade password? Fluffy white clouds! Clear blue..." [Zora] "Yes! There is no mistaking it! You are, indeed, the real Master Link!" / "[It's true.] I knew it! The only people who know that password are members of the Big Bad Bazz Brigade!" –Bazz

I will also include that Mipha died very young for a Zora since her spear is meant to accentuate her youth being taller than she is. Her short hight is a large part of it, but did you know that initially the adult Zora were meant to lose their tailfin? In the Creating a Champion book, the standard adult Zora design doesn't have a tailfin and their is a comment on the child Zora concept art states that all child Zora have the tailfin "like Mipha". This tailfin detail was not kept since all the Zora have tailfins in the game probably because their bare butts look pretty funny, haha.

Since Rivan had a child in his 30s-40s quite soon after Calamity while Mipha was still so short, it seems that she was younger than Rivan.

It's hard to put a number on Mipha's age since we don't know when Zora hit that "growth spurt", but it is safe to say that she is in the middle of that growth. She did say that Link always seemed to grow a lot faster than she did, so this growth that she is going through isn't very fast compared to Hylians.

...

I would like to mention the elder Zora especially Dorephan who was incorrectly depicted in Age of Calamity. Age of Calamity simply reuses his model from BotW, but it is wildly inaccurate to how he is described 100 years ago in BotW.

The elder Zora seen in BotW were in their prime during the Calamity 100 years ago. Their generation was the one defending the Domain at the time, and Dorephan was described fighting a Guardian some time after the Calamity which resulted in his forehead scar seen in BotW. This event is stated to have happened 100 years after he became king and since Sidon appears to be taking on that title in TotK (I haven't finished the Domain, so this was gleamed from his appearance in the last trailer), then it may be safe to assume that Dorephan was about a similar age to Sidon when he became king being over 100 years old (middle aged).

"Around 100 years after King Dorephan ascended to the throne, a stray Guardian crossed Upland Zorana into our domain." / "You can still see the scar he earned that day on his forehead—a token of his triumph." –History of the Zora, Addendum 1

Rivan is yet again a good example of Zora age and maturity since his father Trello is in BotW and is wrinkled and old like the other elders while he and his daughter look quite similar in age.

This shows that Dorephan who is part of the same generation as Trello would not be so old 100 years ago like he was depicted in AoC—with that forehead scar no less. (I liked AoC but this detail irritates me)

Considering the info available to us in BotW and TotK, Dorephan is likely over 200 and is in his elder years. It is safe to assume that Zora pass away before reaching 300.

So there you have it, an analysis on Zora age and maturity. They are still considered children in their 20s while they reach maturity around 40, they are middle aged at 100 and die of age before 300.

as anyone who has met me knows, i am a certified, real life, carabiner-carrying  lesbian. but, now that i have graduated, i am also officially a master of arts in multicultural literature. i am also now officially qualified as an expert and academic researcher on lesbian poetry and literary history. in mere months i will be published within this niche, furthering my case. 

which is why i must submit to the court, my official ruling on perhaps the most important thing in lesbian history. 19th century france (as well as those in other circles) used garlic as a euphemism or coded language to refer to the clitoris and the eating of garlic to refer to lesbians or other sapphics. with this in mind i must officially, unequivocally, declare that wario of, warioland and warioware fame, is a lesbian. congratulations to all lesbians who are wario stans (me).

MY LITTLE SHROOM!!!

Actually they were bigger than I anticipated BUT MY CREATURE

Go play Everhood 2 NOW!!!