Well We're Just Probs Gonna Hang Out Because I'm Mixing My Two Friend Groups So It May Be A Little Awkward

Well we're just probs gonna hang out because I'm mixing my two friend groups so it may be a little awkward at first but I really hope they get well together!! I'm going to go to the supermarket to get snacks and drinks (not alcoholic because there are non drinkers in the group) and we're probs play some board or card games or just chat! Idk what I'm gonna wish for and tbh I don't know if I'll have a cake lmaoo. Like, I asked my mum for a meat cake (just some sausages and a slab of bacon with tea lights as candles on a plate) that she gave me in peak pandemic because I'm a HUGE MEAT LOVER and idkkk. I don't really know if there's anything I need to wish for tbh, I'm pretty content with everything I have rn and don't need more. Also, GO TO BED IF ITS LATE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!! TEDDY DONT YOU DARE STAY UP EVEN IF IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!

omg mel its been so long !! how ya been

Im doing quite well! Thank you for asking!! I've been very sick this last week but I'm much better now and it's my birthday today so I'm having some friends over!! (God a year into adulthood 🤯🤯) How are you doing, though?? Is everything alright??

Do I Wanna Know?

HIIIII MY FIRST FANFIC THAT I'M POSTING HERE AHHHH SO NERVOUS MDNI!!!!

Full disclosure it's just angst, hurt/comfort, LOTS OF JELOUSY AND INTERNALISED HOMOPhoBIA, ftm british reader living in america, Schlatt x Reader (kinda obv) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OR I'LL EAT YOU >:)

(fic under the cut)

Word count: 2865

It was a casual Friday evening. You helped with filming the Chuckle Week final episode, mainly helping with costumes and decorations for the set. You, Charlie, Tucker, Ted and Schlatt were at some common LA bar, celebrating the end of the amazing podcast. You were close mates with the four men, meeting all of them years ago through Schlatt, your closest friend and your crush of many years. He was there for you even before you transitioned, being your pillar of support in the darkest times.

You all crowded around the bar counter, chatting, drinking and just having fun. The bar wasn’t that full, a few groups littering the space along with some lone patrons. You had already been a few drinks in, definitely the most inebriated from the five. You were giggling, swaying from side to side, your vision blurred. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome Schlatt looked in the dim lights of the bar, his features soft and light, he absolutely looked at ease.

So, when a gorgeous girl approached him, started openly flirting with him and he didn’t seem to mind it, your blood boiled. You always had the fear of Schlatt being actually straight, just figuring things out. He was always ambiguous with his sexuality, even with the closest of friends, even with you.

He was flirting back with the girl, now completely detached from the group conversation. The three other guys noticed how quiet you’d gotten, their expressions somewhat worried, but they chucked it up to the alcohol in your system. Abruptly, you stood up from your seat. Your gaze was set on the karaoke machine tucked away in the back corner of the bar stage, empty and unoccupied. You decided that it was the best way to get your anger out of your system, scream out all the lyrics and just forget, forget, forget.

“Hey, you alright?” Tucker spoke up, his face confused and cautious, anxiously watching your moves.

“Yeah, yeah. I saw a karaoke machine when we walked in and just wanted to give the old junk a try” You faked a smile, trying to convince yourself more than anyone else. The guys knew you long enough to realise that your slurred words weren’t at all nonchalant, they noticed the hint of anger and jealousy in your speech.

“Just don’t embarrass us, m’kay?” Ted spoke up, trying to cast some humour into the steadily growing tension around all of you. You nodded in return, casting another glance at Schlatt and the girl before swiftly moving to the stage.

As you approached the machine, you noticed that it was already on, covered in a thin layer of dust. You sweeped your hand over the screen, trying to dust off the device to the best of your ability with limited resources. Wiping off your now dirty hand on your sweatshirt your eyes raked over the collection of songs to choose from. You kept scrolling the list, not in the mood to sing Barbie Girl by Aqua. Your eyes caught a very familiar song, one that held a lot of significance in your current predicament. You briefly glanced at Schlatt again, the girl now had her hand on his bicep, charming him into oblivion as he swirled his whiskey with intent. Your thoughts burned with venom and you decided that this song would be the one to sing.

You grabbed the microphone attached to the machine, clicking the song and closing your eyes as the intro began to play. All the patrons now turned towards you, even Schlatt and that fucking girl. Ted and Tucker gave you encouraging thumbs up, Charlie smirked knowingly and nodded in approval. Schlatt looked utterly confused and leaned in to the guys, trying to ask them what was that about.

The alcohol in your body locked out any embarrassment or stage fright, the only emotion in your whole system being jealousy. You hadn’t started taking testosterone yet, so your voice was quite high still, but with years of voice training you got it to sound just the way you wanted even without the hormone replacement therapy.

Have you got colour in your cheeks?

D’you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type

That sticks around like summat in your teeth?

Are there some aces in your sleeve?

Your eyes burned with fire as you began singing, your accent accentuated by the song and the anger seeping through your words. You kept looking at Schlatt, your gaze unwavering even for a moment as you knew the lyrics like the back of your hand. Even the girl, who was now full on pressing her tits into his arm, was mesmerized by your performance, her chin prepped up on Schlatt’s shoulder, as if challenging you, taunting you with her looks.

Have you no idea that you’re in deep?

I’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week

You kept your voice steady, pouring all the unresolved and bottled up feelings into this performance. Those three lines were filled with the most venom out of all of them, yet there was a strange fondness intertwined with them. Your gaze wavered for a moment, you blinked away the tears that had started bubbling up in your eyes.

How many secrets can you keep?

’Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow

Spilling drinks on my settee

And I play it on repeat, until I fall asleep

Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways

Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you’d stay.

Baby we both know, that the nights were mainly made

For saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day.

You took a quick breath before singing the chorus, knowing that all of your emotion would be poured into it. You squeezed the microphone in your hands in a futile attempt of grounding yourself.

Crawlin’ back to you

Ever thought of calling when

You’ve had a few?

‘Cause I always do

Maybe I’m too

Busy being yours to fall for

Somebody new

Now I’ve thought it through

Crawlin’ back to you

You quickly exhaled the rest of the air filling your lungs before taking a subtle breath, a scoff playing on your features as you kept staring daggers at the object of your affections.

So have you got the guts?

You rolled your eyes with an exaggerated frown, although it wasn’t that far from how you were actually feeling inside. Regardless, you continued with the song, unaware that Charlie was recording your performance, definitely to taunt you with it in the morning.

Been wondering if your heart’s still open

And if so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I’m sorry to interrupt

Followed by another roll of your eyes and a scoff, your eyes instantly softening with the next lines.

It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp

Of trying to kiss you

I dunno if you

Feel the same as I do

We could be together

If you wanted to…

You could see the girl whispering something to Schlatt, his eyes widening and his grip on his whiskey glass tightening, almost smashing it in his hands. She chuckled slyly and kissed his cheek, returning to her friends in the far corner of the bar. Schlatt has now fully turned towards the stage, a dark, red lipstick mark adorning his face.

You finished your performance and were lulled back into reality with an uproar of applause. Seemingly, all the patrons were now aware of the machine and rushed to form a line in front of the stage, all of them wanting to give a performance like yours.

You squeezed through the growing crowds, very glad that you were after your top surgery and didn't have to push your tits against every single person. You went back to your seat, the three men applauding you loudly, gushing over your voice and the performance itself. Schlatt stayed quiet, his eyes confused, but the rest of his expression was unreadable. You left some cash on the counter and the bartender quickly snatched it up, closing your tab.

“I’ll be leaving now, I’m gonna take an uber back to my hotel, so you don’t have to worry ‘bout me” You said your goodbyes, the guys confused at the sudden exit, but understanding that you’ve had a lot more drinks than any of them. They bid you a goodbye as well, your eyes briefly tracing over Schlatt and leaving him without saying a word.

As you stood outside the bar, leaned against a wall, smoke from your cigarette floating into the air, the smoke from your mouth flowing from your bottom lip and vanishing into the night. You heard the bar doors open as you waited for your uber, your cig almost burning out.

“Had I known you had vocals like that I would’ve asked you to be on my christmas album” Schlatt spoke, your head immediately whipping towards him with furious disbelief etched onto your face.

“Is that all you have to say? Really? Your fucking christmas album?” You spat out, your cigarette now thrown on the pavement and stomped, now not even resembling a cigarette.

Schlatt’s face contorted in confusion, his head leaning to the side, as if trying to discern what you were talking about.

“Do you want me to say something else?” He asked cautiously, the looks you’ve given him while singing still etched in his brain, almost burning with how vivid they still were.

“Yeah, I dunno, maybe anything other than your fucking christmas album after I’ve poured out all my feelings for you mere minutes ago in the bar?” You raised your voice, tears burning at your eyes again. Schlatt winced at your harsh words, finally understanding why you were looking at him the whole time.

“Is… Is that what it is?” He asked shyly, remembering that you both were drunk, you much more than him, not believing what he was hearing was true.

“Are you fucking deaf? Or maybe it was that fucking bitch just flirting your ear off? Oh I saw, I saw the whole fucking thing and it made me so fucking furious, because for years, years I’ve dreamt of being to one holding you like this, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, just being yours. I’ve waited, patiently waited for any fucking sign before I transitioned and then when I did I buried all those feelings because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. Tonight, though, I’ve had enough. You literally started flirting with some random broad when I’ve been here, the whole fucking time. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to see that? Do you have any fucking clue how long I’ve been head over heels for you?!” You spat, words effortlessly spilling from your mouth. When you stopped, even you were in shock, immediately sobering up. Your eyes were wide, chest heaving, face, ears and neck red.

Schlatt stood there completely dumbfounded, unsure of what would be the right response to your drunken confession. The man just took in your venomous sentences, his mind running a thousand thoughts per second. In a flash, he remembered how you met in uni, how you immediately clicked as friends and how much he wanted to be with you pre-transition. When you did, in fact, start looking more masculine, he felt those feelings burying themself, his internalised homophobia taking over and making him see you just as a friend.

You meant so much to him, you’ve always been there for him when he needed it the most and in turn he was there for you. You both supported each other when no one else did, it was you two against the world. How could’ve he been so goddamn blind? How didn’t he reach for you when he had the chance right in front of him. You were the one who knew him the most, you were the one who’s seen his best and his worst and stayed, even when his countless girlfriends didn’t. His thoughts were broken by you checking your phone, clicking away at the bright screen.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice quiet, vulnerable.

“Cancelling my uber, I think we have to talk” You replied, seeing how his eyes moved from side to side, the cogs in his head turning.

“Yeah, yeah, we uh… we should, yeah” He replied, his shoulders lunking in an attempt to make himself as small as possible, despite him towering over you by almost a whole foot. You would’ve found the action endearing if it wasn’t for the unresolved tension between you two.

You wordlessly grabbed his hand, the touch burning both of you, as you started walking, sending Ted a quick text that you and Schlatt went for a walk and would meet the rest of the group in the morning. You shoved your phone back in the pocket of your trousers and focused on finding a place to sit and comfortably talk.

After about 15 minutes of walking in silence you saw the beach in the distance, hearing the calming crashing of the ocean against the sand. You followed the sound and approached a beautiful clearing, the moonlight hitting the water in such a breathtaking way. You glanced at Schlatt who was now staring at the view as well, your hands still intertwined together. He looked so ethereal with the moon shining on his face, the light breeze messing up the loose strands of hair that peaked from under his cap.

You tugged on his hand and walked further into the beach, finding a nice rock to sit on without sitting on the sand. You pulled your hand away from his as he sat down and you had the impression that he chased it, but ultimately decided against grabbing it again.

“Listen I… uhm. I’m sorry, I really am, for everything” He began, his eyes looking ahead at the horizon, trying to sort out his thoughts into cohesive sentences. Your head turned towards him, already prepared for the awkwardness that would follow his rejection.

“I’ve also liked you for years, toots, it’s just…” He broke his sentence, your eyes widening with confusion as what he said wasn’t what you expected at all. You turned your whole body to face him, now. You sat criss crossed on the rock, your elbows digging into your thighs.

“I’ve liked you since we met, before you started transitioning. I was too scared to make a move, because you were so beautiful, you still are! I’ve had this feeling that you were out of my league and… fuck” He groaned in frustration, throwing his yankees cap to the sand and running his hand through his hair in a calming motion. You sat there quietly, listening to everything he had to say with patience, giving him all the space he needed.

Schlatt reached for your hand, squeezing it with reassurance, both for him and for you. When you squeezed him back he felt a small grin breaking onto his face, knowing that it was time to let everything out.

“When you transitioned, my feelings changed. I still loved you, fuck I still do, more than a friend, but there was this thought in the back of my head that it was wrong, that no one would accept it, especially my parents. I always had this thought that everyone would disapprove and that we couldn’t be together because we’re both guys”

You scoffed quietly, your eyes briefly looking up at the moon, saying a silent prayer of gratitude towards it, feeling it smile back at you.

“I know that it’s dumb, my whole persona is a right wing conservatist who jerks off to gay porn and kisses guys, I get it. But, I can’t help but feel happy with you, feel like we belong together, even if some part of me thinks it’s wrong” He finished his confession, an understanding smile painted on your face as he turned to finally face you, lone tears staining his cheeks.

You pulled your hand away from his grasp and moved it to wipe away the tears from his face, letting your touch linger there for a few moments longer. Before you could pull it away, Schlatt’s hand was on your wrist, desperately holding it close, drinking in your warmth.

“I think you’d like Car Lights, by my good friend James” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood, now that both of you have calmed down and sobered up.

He scoffed playfully, his eyes still locked onto yours, admiring how handsome you looked in the unfiltered moonlight. His eyes dropped from your eyes to your lips briefly, but not fast enough to escape your attention. You smiled and moved your other hand to his other cheek, both of you now softly leaning in.

“Can I…?” His voice trailed off, the question obvious and loud in between you, despite the whisper of his words.

“Yeah, I’d like you to” You replied, even quieter than he had as he closed the gap between you, your lips finally meeting in between after years of patience and frustration.

Tagging those who MIGHT be interested :) @teslasucks37 @quesabo-corner @opalcicle @obsessivestar @shhhhh-secrets @lapse0freason @laambfuzz @p3achslimes @bio-hazard @hufflepuffsthunderdome @jellybell92 also I love all of you guys hoenstly just seeing how amazingly y'all write has given me the boost to come back to it (i wrote this in 3 hours whaaaa)

My departure from Tumblr- will be deleted Saturday may 24th at 2pm

Hey guys!! so, due to mental health reasons and recent events, I will be moving over to a03. This was a decision made as a collective, and for my own good. I need to better myself and get back to where I need to be, and I often do this by cutting out social medias. That being said, im moving to a03! I already have all my works up on my page. Same username!

@slmcclsgirl on a03. So nothing is lost and you can still read my work. ive had such a fun time getting to know all of you, and I wish you guys nothing but love, peace, happiness, and the works. Remember that you have worth, and never undermine yourself. I'll see you on a03! and maybe I will return here when I feel its okay to do so. as much love as I can give,

jilly <3

tags:

@boylover6002 @slmcclsimpblog @slim-kickle @wispywildflower @frogmoisturethief @azzypzazzy @teslasucks37 @rentaldarling @pupslimes @drakudoll those are like the main people I remembered to tag.

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melrambles

Mel ✨

I forgot I even had this account but I'm putting it to good use now >:) he/they, 19

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