Are You A “please Don’t Ever Touch Me Ever” Or “I Survive On Hugs And Cuddles” Kind Of Person

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

gay culture is oversharing and bottling ur emotions up at the same time

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

literally what the fuck

War for America's Legacy

Found from the last log of Flagship Captain Aergin:

“Captain, what’s wrong?”

For your eyes only. “Nothing, Admiral. Just a chest spasm. Might be time for another inspection.”

“If you’re sure, Captain.”

“Admiral Solkowałksa, I don’t say things I’m not sure about. You know that.”

“Yes, Captain.”

For your eyes only, Flagship Captain Aergin. Enter biometric triple security to access.

Triple biometric is the highest possible. Nothing good ever comes out of something locked like that.

Enter decrypt code.

They really aren’t messing around to have layered an encryption on top of the biometric.

Decrypt successful. Loading message.

“Captain Aergin,

At 0600 hours four days ago, an alien fleet appeared just outside of our atmosphere. We attempted to communicate, but we received only one phrase back, in the common tongue: ‘Pray to what gods you have.’ Before we could react, their energy spiked and their weapons discharged. America was slag and glass before we were able to do anything. That fleet was destroyed before they could do any more damage, luckily, but your family was killed along with the rest of the American population. We are sorry for your loss. Do nothing rash, this situation will be handled.

Condolences,

Interplanetary Fleet Commander Nurodu

I couldn’t believe it. America, gone. Just like that. In the blink of an eye. My family, friends, children. All gone. My crew was the only family I had left. Nurodu has the indecency to tell me to do “nothing rash,” like I’m just going to accept that my life needs to start over, like my husband and children weren’t just killed without a chance to fight back, like I’m not going to avenge the death of my country. I will have revenge.

—18 Months Later—

“Sir, you asked for updates on the identification of the species that destroyed America. A major data dump has just occurred when the Alien Classification/Dossier database updated. The relevant files are being shunted to your holodesk now, and the species is listed as having been confirmed to destroy your country.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant Commander. Dismissed.”

The Zorax, huh? Home planet Xeron, only 20 parsecs from here. Time for the plan. They have no other worlds colonized according to the database, and if I have my way, they never will. Those bastards will never see me coming.

“Set course for Xeron. We’ve been ordered to give the Zorax a visit to make sure they are on the up-and-up.” The lie didn’t bother me at all. I will say anything to avenge my family.

“Immediately, Captain.”

—3 hours later—

“Captain, coming out of FTL in 3…2…1…”

“Stay on course to the planet, stay in high orbit once we’ve arrived.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Time to enact my plan. I keyed for the computer to send an abandon ship protocol, on my authority. Earth Federation laws requires I make sure everyone else is off the ship first, but that’s the point.

“Abandon ship protocol 00215. All personnel report to your assigned pod as soon as possible for whichever species may be.”

“Everyone go. Admiral Solkowałksa, you have command. Take my personal pod. I don’t intend to make it off this ship. Jettison happens in 8 minutes.”

“Captain, are you sure?!?”

“I don’t say things I’m not sure of, Admiral. Go.”

Everyone is off the ship now. It’s very quiet. Not even the night cycle is this quiet.

“Computer, open communications with planet Xeron main base when in range.”

“Initiating communications.”

“Hello. My name is Flagship Captain Aergin, of the third American Fleet. You may remember glassing a place called America on Earth. I say the same to you now that you said to them: pray to what gods you have.”

“Communication interrupted.”

I punched up FTL for just long enough to come out in their atmosphere and collide with their largest landmass. This is my last log. America is avenged.

 (This is my first attempt at something other than lurking this tag! Hope y'all like it!

-therandomnessofages)

buying peaches is so stressful because you have to consume them so quickly…it’s like the moment the cashier types in that number the alpha peach turns to its brothers in the bags and says “alright listen up boys, it’s time to remember your training. i want to see immense bruising by sundown. i want to see you near inedible by sunrise. remember it is better to die a free man than to be eaten.” you gotta wolf down all of your peaches at the check out counter while the trader joe’s employees eagerly look at the Peach Consumption Countdown Clock and cheer you on. these peaches have sensors on them that can tell when they come into contact with human hands so they can begin their self-destruct sequence like you’re in a spy movie and the peach just relayed a message to you about the whereabouts of jimmy hoffa’s decayed remains

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

My mom just sent me this video without any context??

Father uses sons’ drawings as inspiration for anime transformations

By: Thomas Romain (twitter | instagram | youtube | patreon)