U Dont Understand How Disappointed I Am That This Dog Didnt Appear On My Dash This Year And How Hard

Pros of writing gay relationships: 

- gay

Cons of writing gay relationships:

- they both have THE SAME FCKIN PRONOUNS SO I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO NAME BOTH CHARACTERS BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL WHO’S DOING WHAT OR WHO’S SPEAKING WHO WILL SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL

Dear Men Writers

Lesser known facts when writing women:

High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.

The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.

Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.

You can’t hold in a period like pee.

Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.

Feel free to add your own.

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

Random mansion generator

The Procgen Mansion Generator produces large three-dee dwellings to toy with your imagination, offering various architectural styles and other options. Each mansion even comes with floorplans:

https://boingboing.net/2019/07/12/random-mansion-generator.html

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

Ugly Privilege is being the ‘relationship expert’ when your friends are going through relationship issues and you got no experience with romantic relationships

2019 - decade in review

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if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

attractive person: looks don't matter!

me, an ugly: *can't make friends*, *can't get into relationships*, *is second choice for everything*, *can't get away with most outfits*, *can't take pictures featuring myself*, *has severe trust issues over anyone seemingly liking me* ok