Remus. Oh My God.

Remus. Oh my god.

Janus. What?

Remus. It's a fucking dead bird.

Janus. What? Oh, that's an omen, or something.

Patton. Why is there a dead bird in here?

Logan. There was probably a live bird in here and then something happened that made it dead.

Remus. Oh. Great analysis, doc. Oh Jesus, it's all rotted and it's eyes are gone, this is horrifying.

Logan. Well, its eyes aren't gonna stick around.

More Posts from Matt-w-blogging and Others

4 years ago

People really out here saying 'women can't be superheros (or in positions of power at all) because they're too emotional' and ignoring that Captain America: Civil War is all about two grown men starting a fight and splitting their team in two because they couldn't talk it out like civilized adults


Tags
3 years ago

I stayed hydrated, but at the cost of my raw wooden floor (luckily it's just water and I caught the glass so it didn't break)

a huge water stain on my wood floor that looks very bad, the water itself has been dried up

(excuse the mess I'm working on a project)

3 years ago

Patton, poking his head into the dark side lounge: Hey, it's time for d—

Remus: *knees pulled into his chest, having a crisis, mumbling about reindeer*

Logan: *beating Janus over the head and shoulders with a pillow, yelling at him*

Janus: *trying to duck Logan and laughing, saying something about not regretting anything*

Virgil: *sitting in an armchair, on his phone*

Virgil, looking up: Hey, Padre. Dinner?

Patton: *nods*

Patton: Is this... Are they okay?

Virgil: Oh, this is just a Wednesday. 's why I'm always with you and Roman.

Patton: Please... Feel free to come to our side anytime.

Remus, proud of knowing something: Logan. I have a fact.

Logan, not looking up from his book: Proceed.

Remus: Male reindeers lose their antlers in the winter, while female reindeers don't. All of Santa's reindeers have antlers, meaning they're all female, but the media says they're men because they don't want a team of strong females depicted.

Logan: Or they aren't cis. Ever think about that?

Remus: Wait wha—

Logan: Maybe they're transgender. Don't be a bigot, Remus.

Remus: I'M NOT—

Remus: Wait—

Remus: Am I being a bigot???

Logan: I don't know, are you? You're assuming their gender aligns with their sex.

Remus: *now having a crisis*

Janus, walking past, unable to help it: So you could say they're... Transgendeer.

Logan, hopping up, beating Janus with a pillow: I'm trying to escape Patton's constant puns, goddamnit!


Tags
3 years ago

I had a dream there was a new halloween-themed Sander Sides and it was revealed that Janus kept Remus on a golden chain attached to a black o-ring collar around his neck

He held it loosely in his hand but if Remus starting giving intrusive thoughts he'd tug on it and like make him behave and everyone was like 'oh thank god he's under control'

It was weird but that'd be hilarious so here's hoping I have the gift of prophecy


Tags
3 years ago

Roman's Quest For Shaving Cream / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Roman Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Roman: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Remus, showering fully clothed: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Roman: Wh— You eat shaving cream?

Remus: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes?

Roman: Hey Pat, do you have shaving cream?

Patton, pink because he’s never going to be used to this: No. I can't grow facial hair.

Roman: ...True. I’m not sure why I asked.

Roman: Hey De— Janus—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Roman, regretting his life: Never mind snakes don't even have hair—

Roman: Hey, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, do you have any shaving cream?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Why on earth would I?

Roman: …

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream?

Logan: Yes. It does have a scent to it, however.

Roman: Oh, that's fine. Is it woody? Or musky?

Logan: It's honey-mango.

Roman: ...What?

Logan: They’re both very good for your skin, and happen to be fragrant.

Roman, after using Logan’s shaving cream: I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.


Tags
3 years ago

Thank you! My family has always baked bacon (that was the inspiration for this XD)

Logan: I saw online today, someone freaking out about how you bake cookies and cook bacon.

Janus: Yeah, I never got that whole thing. I mean, you bake bacon.

Logan: ...Pardon?

Janus:

Janus: Do

Janus: Do you

Janus: Do you not bake bacon in the oven on a cookie sheet

Logan: No?? You fry it??

Janus: But it gets so crispy and nice ?? Why would you fry it???

Logan: *looks to Remus*

Remus: Don't look at me, I've had Janus's bacon. It's superior.

Logan: But that's not how it's done??? No bacon recipe says to bake it?

Janus: Oh I don't follow recipes exactly

Logan: But thEY'RE RULES

Janus: I mean recipes are really just suggestions when you have enough experience

Logan: (head explodes because oh my god everything Janus makes tastes so good and he's not even using recipes—)

3 years ago

Just Virgil Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“Patton two-point-oh-my-god.” (When Patton gets a punk makeover)

In his corner of the garage, Virgil started snapping. His hands were up by his ears as he did, and he was grinning, seemingly in his own little world.

(I just realized— we’re all in the community, aren't we? Well, I don't know about Virgil.) Virgil’s snapping had stopped, but now he was rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’m gay. And trans, actually.”

“Looks like you gotta rap now, man. I don't make the rules.”

“Yikes, man. Er— sorry, is it alright if I call you that?”

"At school, to defend my hiding behind layers and black clothing, I pretended to be goth or emo ..."

”Do you want to kiss?” (Who?) "Me."

“I’m scared of someone finding out my deadname and using it. Any time I hear it, I just freeze up ..."

"I’m not really accepted in a lot of trans spaces, because I don't want surgery or HRT. I just… Identify as a guy. That's not enough, apparently."


Tags
3 years ago

Also, c!Wilbur's mother is a fridge and yet it was surprising when he had a fox-child with a salmon. Like. We should have expected it tbh

C!Fundy's grandmother is a fridge and mother is a salmon. That's all that's the post


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2 years ago

Q: What do you have to say about the queerbaiting accusations?

A: What do you mean?

Q: People are accusing you of pretending to be queer for your own personal gain.

A: I've never said I was queer.

Q: Well, no, but you flirt with your (same-gender) friends and joke about being in a relationship with them.

A: Those are just jokes; all my friends make those jokes, with all our friends, regardless of gender. Nobody gets mad at me when I make those jokes with my (not-same-gender) friends.

Q: That's different.

A: Why, because being straight is the "default"?

Q: ...

A: What I'm hearing here is that people speculated my sexuality, were wrong, and then got mad at me for it. I never pretended to be queer or said I was, I'm just comfortable joking around with my friends.


Tags
anyway…. lgbt queer GAY anyway goodnight just once. just once i want to see an interview go like this this is coming from a queer person btw and queerbaiting is real but people who are comfortable in their sexuality and joke around with their friends and/or defy gender roles are not queerbaiting they're just being themselves we want people to normalize being not straight that includes normalizing people joke-flirting with their friends of all genders not just one so when people try to just be themselves and normalize that stuff and they're jumped on for queerbaiting it's really counterproductive and thats not even MENTIONING the queer people who aren't out yet being grilled about their sexuality because they made some jokes if i was closested and famous i would simply never speak about any other person and would probably still be accused of queerbaiting its late and im rambling and tired but i just had the idea of how awesome this would be anyone about to say that people joking with their friends is queerbaiting or that people need to announce their identities publicly dni also just normalize men being friends and complimenting each other like just let them be like there's a lot of other circumstances but when it comes to people falsely accused of queerbaiting it seems to tend to be just guys being friends and nice and like complimenting each other and all of a sudden its a 'bromance' or 'borderline flirting' or 'get a room' its like that told thing where guys make eye contact for a milisecond too long and they're gay but women get married and kiss and outright say they're together amd they're just best friends
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He/they (both equally good)I love asks, requests, general interaction, and stuff like that!Mostly various fandom stuff, I'm just having a good time and enjoying myselfI hope I can make you smile :)

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