You're Very Serious About This, This Post Was Mostly A Joke And Certainly Isn't That Deep

Sometimes I fuck myself up thinking about how on the DSMP Technoblade became Ranboo's sensei, and then became (jokingly) distraught because the sensei always dies, and how in real life Ranboo wears the crown because viewers said they sounded like Techno and they said "if the crown fits, wear it" and then the two became friends, with Techno being an experienced streamer/youtuber and Ranboo being extremely new

And then, y'know

The sensei always dies

C!Thomas: *cleaning a litterbox while catsitting for a friend*

Remus: Huh, that kinda looks like a salted nut roll.

C!Thomas:

C!Thomas: *deep sigh* And now I'm never eating one of those again.

Perler Bead Animal Sides!

I was hanging out with my little cousin and we were doing crafts together, so ofc, this is what I did XD Can you tell Janus was the freeform one?

This just in, this thread was blessed by Apollo—

Jananconda?

Janus’s light side name is Janan

Remus: I always thought young, good-looking, nice teachers were made up for fiction plots

Roman: And...?

Remus: Then I met this one teacher at my school, and I don't know, there's something about him. Handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, did a flammability lab where we got to light shit on fire—

Logan, handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, loves to light shit on fire with Remus: *speechless*

Roman, when Remus leaves: He's... He's friendzoning you so hard... He's projecting his attraction to you on someone who's like you...

Logan: I have to go. I'm going to smash something with a bat.

Just Virgil Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“Patton two-point-oh-my-god.” (When Patton gets a punk makeover)

In his corner of the garage, Virgil started snapping. His hands were up by his ears as he did, and he was grinning, seemingly in his own little world.

(I just realized— we’re all in the community, aren't we? Well, I don't know about Virgil.) Virgil’s snapping had stopped, but now he was rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’m gay. And trans, actually.”

“Looks like you gotta rap now, man. I don't make the rules.”

“Yikes, man. Er— sorry, is it alright if I call you that?”

"At school, to defend my hiding behind layers and black clothing, I pretended to be goth or emo ..."

”Do you want to kiss?” (Who?) "Me."

“I’m scared of someone finding out my deadname and using it. Any time I hear it, I just freeze up ..."

"I’m not really accepted in a lot of trans spaces, because I don't want surgery or HRT. I just… Identify as a guy. That's not enough, apparently."

TS El Dorado

If there was a Sander Side Themed The Road To El Dorado, these are the best pairings I can think of (ignoring the ships it implies)—

Roman as Miguel, Logan as Tulio, Janus as Chel

Remus as Miguel, Janus as Tulio, Virgil/Dark!Logan as Chel

And if I had to put them all as characters—

Janus: Chel (master of deception, the entire reason Miguel and Tulio get away with their lives, the only one in the trio with a braincell count in the double digits)

Logan: Speaker For The Gods dude (was adhering to the rules/lore that had been written, tried to bring down the liars who dared to impersonate gods by going batshit evil, 'being feared is the only way you can get them to respect you')

Remus: The King (sharp enough to notice Miguel and Tulio are only human, goofy enough to let them pretend to be gods because it's really raising his people's spirits and they got rid of The Speaker For The Gods, his rival)

Roman: The Horse (he's just along for the drama, baby)

Patton: Miguel (nice, friendly, hates that the villagers are scared of him, doesn't have a voice in his head, no braincells just a himbo)

Virgil: Tulio (wants to finish the plan and get out, much more anxious than Miguel, comes up with all the excuses to get them out of trouble, has like seven braincells but not all of them work at the same time)

(If anyone's wondering, Remus is talking about octopuses: they have no bones, so as long as their beak fits through an opening, the entire rest of their body can squeeze through. It's really cool. They're are boneless masterpieces.)

'Daydream Mode' is when Roman has full creative control, right? So I'm just imagining like:

Remus, ranting to Janus: —as long as their beak fits through, the entire rest of them, because that's the only solid part, can squish through—

Remus: *suddenly collapses without warning*

Janus, flipping the page of his book unconcernedly: Someone must have turned on Daydream mode.

"Women belong in the kitchen" shut up, no they don't. I belong in the kitchen. Now get out of my kitchen so I can cook

OH MY GOD I GET IT NOW THANK YOU

(That's actually really funny now that I get it—)

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!