Not Me, Already Drafting Contract Terms In My Head For What I Get In Exchange For My Firstborn...

Not me, already drafting contract terms in my head for what I get in exchange for my firstborn...

There are two small play areas in my apartment complex: one sad two-seat swingset within ten feet of a boggy pond, and one anemic cookie-cutter play place twenty feet from a creek 4-feet wide. There are no fences.

If apartment management is trying to surreptitiously trade neighbor children to water monsters, I wish they'd cut us into the bargain and lower the rent.

More Posts from Matsuotanuki and Others

2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

Beauty is evil 😠... Unless it's Arya, Lyanna, or Daenerys.

Ugliness is inherently good 😍... Unless it's Tyrion Lannister, Sandor Clegane, Rorge, Biter, Ramsay Bolton, Roose Bolton, Walder Frey, every Frey...

*deep breath*

...Chett, Pyat Pree, Lady Stoneheart, Jorah Mormont, Janos Slynt, Weese, Craster, Amory Lorch, Illyrio Mopats, Kraznys mo Nakloz...

*deep breath*

...Aerys II Targaryen, Selyse Baratheon, Aegon the Unwor-

10 months ago

Gonna hang onto this until Season 5...

If Ashley does end up with a stable superpower, I hope it’s super-hair like Medusa and Sindel.

If Ashley Does End Up With A Stable Superpower, I Hope It’s Super-hair Like Medusa And Sindel.
If Ashley Does End Up With A Stable Superpower, I Hope It’s Super-hair Like Medusa And Sindel.
1 year ago

Todd Ingram -vs- The League or Ex-traordianry Gentlemen.

I love how Wallace ended up being Todd’s gay awakening and then they DIDN’T end up together in the end

Instead Wallace led him on by failing to communicate that their fling was temporary and now Todd has an unhealthy obsession with Wallace and it’s so so so funny (and so tragic)

Next thing you know Wallace’s new boyfriend is gonna have to fight Todd’s new league of Wallace’s evil exes

2 years ago

Food for thought:

The Furies of Greek myth, in order to not be directly named to draw their unwanted attention, were referred to as *The Kindly Ones*

Food For Thought:

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4 years ago

All hail!

ALL HAIL!

All Hail!~

Iridescent clouds, looking like a rainbow in the clouds.

A diffraction phenomenon caused by small water droplets or small ice crystals individually scattering light. Larger ice crystals do not produce iridescence, but can cause halos, a different phenomenon.

1 year ago

WHAT SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON SUPERVILLAIN BULLSHIT IS THIS!?

matsuotanuki - Untitled
2 years ago

This right here just about sums it up:

This Right Here Just About Sums It Up:

For everyone complaining that the romance in Belle was a let down, let me clarify:

THAT WASNT THE POINT!

The main plot of Belle was not falling in love, it focused on grief, trauma, and healing❤️‍🩹! And how you can find that in some of the unlikeliest places like the Internet even with its constant toxicity and multiple personas. You can love without falling in love, you can hug without being amorous, and you can connect without being romantic!

For Everyone Complaining That The Romance In Belle Was A Let Down, Let Me Clarify:

If you are looking for a love story with the Beauty and the Beast trope, I’m sorry! Belle is clearly not for you! So stop hating on the movie, saying you’d change or do it this way if you missed the entire plot! Life isn’t about romance, but love! Love of your self, family, friends, neighbors, community, the world, heck even school! This movie explores all the ranges of love except literally the romantic one on PURPOSE!

For Everyone Complaining That The Romance In Belle Was A Let Down, Let Me Clarify:

NORMALIZE ROMANCE AS A SIDE PLOT!!!!!!

(but high key ruka and kamishin were OTP, so cute & adorable 🥰 ❤️)

4 years ago

She's crying her best

She’s Really Going Through It™
She’s Really Going Through It™

She’s really Going Through It™

2 years ago

Same silly hand-wringing, different format. No wonder Neil is at home here on Tumblr

below is the letter received by Neil Gaiman from the “concerned mothers of america” in ‘92, and his response :)

Below Is The Letter Received By Neil Gaiman From The “concerned Mothers Of America” In ‘92, And

he mentioned this letter in a recent interview with Pink News:

“I remember getting a very grumpy letter from the ‘Concerned Mothers of America’, informing us that due to the number of gay characters in Sandman they would be boycotting us and we had to repent,” he said.

“We never repented and the sales just went up, and up, and up. So I never really worried about their boycott.”

4 months ago

With a rusty tailpipe

"We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned!" how about you go fuck yourself

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matsuotanuki - Untitled
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