Marsapolis - Mars

this feeling this gives me is what i imagine i make my moots feel every time i post

had a dream that someone suggested the best gender neutral form of address would be Mþ (pronounced Myth) and i immediately said "mith me with that gay shit HEYOOO" and woke up at 4:30am hanging sideways off of my bed

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"I care for you still and I will forever

That was my part of the deal, honest

We got so familiar

Spending each day of the year"

-you gay bitches know what's up (it's white ferrari by frank ocean)

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well in the last few months u haven't posted i have:

• gotten the job at that law firm

• learned to HATE this job

• started dating someone who also worked here and then she quit

• we then broke up after about 7 months? long story, will talk about that next time

• got a platinum membership for an aquarium i love

• chromakopia came out and i've changed significantly

n e ways i've almost entirely stopped talking to ppl so HNY and cheers to more posts💃🏽🕺

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"Someone asked how I feel about Captain Crunch. I'm capable of eating an entire box of it without any milk. It is a sweet taste that is indescribable. Captain Crunch is its own flavour."

-my baby, my husband, my lover, Pedro Pascal

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you know, when i made that post about judge judy, i was really thinking about pedro pascal. ive been his fan since i was a child watching my mom watch law & order and buffy. i grew up thinking people on tv stayed that age (i didnt understand the concept of time) and i was utterly disappointed to find out that he did not wait for me (he didnt stop aging and wont sleep outside his age range, which i guess makes him a good person? but like cmon? its me? the literal love of your life?) if he would have me, i would take care of him in old age. change diapers, give medication, bathe him. i would remind him every day of who he was, every reason i love him, and any memory i could think of to remind him that hes human. that he deserves to be here just as much as anyone, else even in sickness.

now that ive basically wrote out my wet dream, bye! love you!!

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"so, when i die, which i must do

could it shine down here with you?"

-mitski, my beloved<3

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just watched the exorcist believer and i am floored that they actually sent that little girl to hell, we watched her get dragged down to hell! they committed to her death! hilarious! loved when the priest got his head whipped around too those little girls looked so happy turning their heads lol.

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OLDER BROTHER SUUUUUUUUMMER!!!!!!!!

we are going to be LAYING IN BED until NOON. we will be drinking MILK right from the jug. we will be scratching our HAPPY TRAILS, HAPPILY!

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

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"i know when you hear my name, your eyes quiver and your throat feels raw 

you can't help but seize at the idea of hearing my voice again

no one else can quell your parched tongue, as nothing would be more gratifying than me"

-i know i keep quoting my own poetry but ugh let me live >///<

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like any other genderfluid boss babe, i use tumblr to quench my thirst for smutty fan fiction. last night as i was perusing for my night cap i decided "hey, lets read about joel miller just absolutely going to town on my body!" BUT you perverse, fatherless (same lol) FREAKS! cant seem to write anything about that man without it being the most obvious father/daughter fantasy story. freud was so right, why would you let him be right? anyways go read @bageldaddy 's one shot called Sundown cause WOWIE WOAH MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMIMA BAZOOOOOOOOING! * EYES POP OUT * AROOOOOOOOGA! * JAW DROPS TONGUE ROLLS OUT * WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF * TONGUE BURSTS OUT OF THE MOUTH UNCONTROLLABLY LEAKING FACE AND EVERYTHING IN REACH * WURBLWURBLWURBWURLBWURBLWURBLEWLURBWUBRLWURBWLWUBLR * TINY CUPID SHOOTS AN ARROW THROUGH HEART * AHHHHHHHHHHH ME LADY... * HEART IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART STARTS BEATING SO HARD YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH SHIRT* BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM * MILK TRUCK CRASHES INTO A BAKERY STORE IN THE BACKGROUND *

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GRR RUFF!

Zaun vik and Jayce

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"she laughs. she laughs hard. "'oh, my god, i know'" she says "'they're so big.'" we both laugh at our son's big balls."

-that fucking psycho colleen hoover

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tonights theme? lights & lamps. why? BECAUSE I SAID SO. i finally read a colleen hoover book for the first time, take a wild guess which one. ive been down this COD hyper fixation rabbit hole for the past month, lots and lots of fan fiction has been read, Ghost specifically. but i make exceptions for soap and konig (im equally in love with them all.) ive never played any of the games before but i sure do know all the lore so i think im better than any man, alive or dead.

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Mafalda doing the get a load of this guy pose for when some gringo says some absolute gringada

i work at *unnamed* law firm, specifically in the car accident area and this is exactly what it feels like to drive after every picture i've seen. i'm so scared of being degloved.

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.