Saw Someone Do This To The John Mulaney Character From Puss In Boots Once And It Kind Of Changed Everything

it was @becharley btw

had a dream last night that the new tumblr discourse was whether or not people deserved their urls and people were getting callouts and anon hate like "I can't believe you have x in your url when I never see you actually post about them it's pretty messed up that you're taking that url away from other people who actually deserve it :/"

no one should be allowed to look like this btw

Can you tell this dub was recorded in South Carolina, and in 1995?

He’s an FBI agent. He’s a bimbo. He’s a fake lawyer. He’s a former football star. He’s an all-American boy. He’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. He’s fuckin surfin. He’s young dumb and full of cum. He showers on the beach. He uses his real name during an undercover operation for some reason. He pretended his parents were dead to get laid get close to a professional criminal. He’s got princess eyes. He’s really fuckin late. He never fuckin misses. He seeks the most violent possible ways to touch other men. He takes the skin off chicken. He’s spraying bullets in the air and going AaaaaAaAaAaAaaahHHhhH. He’s a fuckin liar. He’ll blow out your fuckin kneecaps. He’s gonna ride it all the way. He’s unarmed and he’s twirling cuntily to prove it. He only knows how to skydive as a metaphor for gay sex. He wants that guy so bad it’s like acid in his mouth. He followed him to every city in Mexico before letting him kill himself in the ocean instead of going to prison. His name is literally Johnny fucking Utah.