I Really Can’t With These ‘femininity Guide’ Posts That Want To Have Women Behaving Like They

The Gnome falls in love with the Princess, from The Brown Fairy Book by Henry Justice Ford (1904)

stay well-kept. stay endlessly evolving. tend to your creative gifts. smell divine. be selective. cook something new. write something true. keep fresh flowers. make decisions that age well. spread light to those in need. pray often & sincerely.

What to plan at the beginning of each month

- Mani / Pedi

- Hair trim every two months

- A facial

- Date night by yourself or with your s/o

- A day spent completely by yourself

- Deep clean room

- Write down important events for the month in a calendar

- Spa day

- One breakfast / lunch / dinner with friends

- Pick a day to learn something new

- A day / weekend spent outdoors (hiking, camping, kayaking, grounding)

- Deep condition hair with mask

- Give yourself a new routine

- Throw away things (or people) that no longer serve you

- Plan your month goals in a journal

I'll say it as many times as it needs to be said: track your housework. Have a schedule and keep it. Make sure you know what you're doing every day. If you aren't keeping track, it's so easy to fall into a rut and feel like you haven't done anything. It's so easy to over work yourself. Much of household maintenance is invisible. If you're keeping up, your home will pretty much look consistent and it gets difficult to recognize all the work you've actually put in to keep it that way.

When I first started, I'd over work myself to the point of passing out each day because I wasn't pacing myself. I was trying to deep clean the entire house every single day, which is not only impractical, but also impossible to maintain. I started tracking everything and now not only do I have more energy but I have time for myself during the day. I don't burn out anymore. Keeping track and scheduling is sincerely a lifesaver.

being taken seriously

when it comes to debating or professional settings, if you want to be perceived as more put together, then heres my advice :)

mannerisms:

have good posture!

maintain good hygeine

look clean and put together

always have fresh breath and clean teeth

having a good scent to you always helps

make eye contact with people

speak in a clear tone

don’t raise your voice, be able to speak calmly (i’m talking about when you debate with people, yelling is just kinda rude and makes other people scared lol, also doesn’t look mature)

work on not interupting people, let other people talk!

walk with your head up high! this goes with posture, walk like you have a crown on your head :)

take care of yourself and work to better yourself

attitude:

educate yourself

be open minded

be self-aware about your short comings

know when to keep your mouth shut and when to not engage in conflict

stay out of drama

don’t let other people bring you down

always act confident

eliminate self-depricating humor

remember- bringing other people down is insecure behavior!

show respect and manners to other people

be kind to other people, give them compliments, smile

be open to other points of view, really listen to other people and reflect

Femme Fatale Guide: Realistic Tips & Tricks to Become "That Girl"

Some alternatives to having an entire day before 9am that allow you to enjoy your life and help you find pleasure in reaching your goals. Enjoy xx

Focus on a consistent sleep schedule, not select times: Structure your day around your energy, not an idealized schedule is guaranteed to not work for everyone. Wake up at 6-7 am, if you're a true early riser, and head to the gym to get your day started. Otherwise, there's no reason why waking up at 8-9am and getting in an evening-time workout session is lesser than.

Plan your days & week around your energy peaks: Figure out the times of the day when you're most focused, productive, creative, fidgety, sleepy, etc., and structure your days/weeks/month around your internal clock to the best of your ability. While this may be slightly difficult if you have a 9-5 or go to school during the day, think about what blocks of time are best dedicated to meetings, creative work, planning, routine tasks, emails, studying, etc. For those with uteruses, consider your energy throughout your cycle to help you plan the month.

Create "bookend" routines: While these will often be your morning and nighttime routines, consider how you prime and unwind your mind from your biggest tasks of the day (for most of us, this will be work, school, and chores on the weekends). Some reading, light movement, and upbeat music can create momentum before starting your daily tasks. A long walk and some journaling are a simple yet productive combination to decompress from the day.

Embrace the power of 3s: Create a daily primer routine, workday, and relaxation routine around 3 core tasks/projects/rituals. For example: Mornings can include using your 5-Minute Journal, doing a quick 10-minute meditation/yoga/dancing session to get in some movement, and spending 10 minutes reading; Your workday should be focused on completing your "Big Three" tasks, projects, or meetings of the day; Evenings can include a quick 5-10 minute planning session for the next day, a 15-60 minute walk or workout (depending on how you're feeling), and some journaling/reading time after dinner. You don't need to do it all. Consistency is key.

Create a "pleasure" and "pain" list. Own your inner masochist: Open up a fresh journal page or web document. Create two separate lists titled "Pleasure" and "Pain." The first list captures all of the simple pleasures that make your days enjoyable (from coffee rituals and your skincare routine to small work successes, daily movement, and indulgent evening treats, like a favorite TV show, a glass of wine, tea, etc.). The second list captures the tasks you regularly dread or procrastinate out of hatred and overwhelm (includes tedious or mentally-draining work tasks, meetings, chores, difficult workout sessions, necessary conversations with emotionally immature people, etc.). Looking over these two lists gives you an overview of your daily experience to help you (realistically) optimize your day for more ease and enjoyment.

Incorporate a pleasurable element into every ritual: Find ways to pair these more "painful" activities with something pleasurable. Examples include having a favorite coffee or tea while working on a draining work project, listening to a fun playlist, taking a walk/doing a face mask or massage while having a less enjoyable conversation, etc.)

Leverage habit stacking: Build habits on top of one another to set yourself up for success. Use a nearly mindless or enjoyable "cue" to spark action that results in habit formation. For example, use sipping your morning coffee as a cue to read your 10 daily pages or do some journaling. Leave your workout clothes out beside your bed with your yoga mat all laid out to make it stupidly easy to get your workout done right away. Have a playlist curated and opened to let you press "start" immediately when you need to begin your work day.

Create a capsule menu/wardrobe: Streamline your everyday meals and outfits by curating a handful of healthy breakfasts/lunches/dinners/snacks and outfits that you can put together mindlessly throughout the week. While creativity in these areas is fun, pre-determined options for busy days can help minimize decision fatigue. Know what staple groceries you need in your kitchen to make these recipes, and ensure to keep them in stock when going on your weekly grocery run. Have a few go-to outfits for work, running errands, working out, and social outings. Choose 5-10 well-fitting wardrobe staples that pair well together in the front of your closet at all times.

Become a playlist master: Curate different playlists for particular tasks, activities, and times of the day. Having playlists for creative/admin work tasks, reading, working out, cleaning, waking up, and winding down for the day can give you the energy to focus and not procrastinate or simply enjoy a necessary task more.

Focus on systems, not habits: Consider the domino effect of each practice and activity. Determine whether your current strategies and routines align with your energy, goals, and desired outcomes. Reflect on the parts of your routine that increase/decrease your energy and motivation. See how you can create a system – a pattern of consistently-practiced habits – that supports your goals and desired lifestyle that does not compromise your overall life satisfaction and well-being.

Experiment until you find an achievable balance: Focus on progress, not perfection. While there may be days or even seasons where hard work and fewer pleasures take priority, life is meant to bring you joy, peace, and satisfaction at the end of the day. Remaining in your comfort zone does you no good. However, learning ways to find pleasure in the process remains the key to long-lasting discipline and the energy necessary to maintain the determination required for success.

Sending you healthy and prosperous vibes xx

The Charisma Myth: things that I liked

dokumen.pub

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism 9781101560303, 2011043729 - DOKUMEN.PUB

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Three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in conversation:

Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.

Pause for two full seconds before you speak.

The very next time you’re in a conversation, try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence).

Expensive clothing leads us to assume wealth, friendly body language leads us to assume good intentions, a confident posture leads us to assume the person has something to be confident about. In essence, people will tend to accept whatever you project.

when you can project both power and warmth together, you really maximize your personal charisma potential.

charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind. Knowing how to skillfully handle mental discomfort is even more important than knowing how to handle physical discomfort. Anxiety is a serious drawback to charisma. First, it impacts our internal state: quite obviously, it’s hard to be fully present while you’re feeling anxious. Anxiety can also lower our confidence. Anxiety, low presence, and low confidence can show up directly in our body language, as well as reduce our ability to emanate warmth.

 The single most effective technique I’ve found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the responsibility transfer. Pick an entity—God, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefs—that you could imagine as benevolent. Imagine lifting the weight of everything you’re concerned about—this meeting, this interaction, this day—off your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity you’ve chosen. They’re in charge now. Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things. Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.

Golfer Jack Nicklaus said that he never hit a shot, even during practice, without visualizing it first. For decades, professional athletes have considered visualization an essential tool, often spending hours visualizing their victory, telling their mind just what they want their body to achieve.

“There is good evidence that imagining oneself performing an activity activates parts of the brain that are used in actually performing the activity,” Professor Stephen Kosslyn, director of Stanford’s Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences, wrote me. Visualization can even physically alter the brain structure: repeated experiments have shown that simply imagining yourself playing the piano with sufficient repetition leads to a detectable and measurable change in the motor cortex of the brain.

Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success. Before key meetings, she’ll imagine “the smiles on their faces because they liked me and they are confident about the value I’m bringing them. I’ll imagine as much detail as I can, even seeing the wrinkles around their eyes as they’re smiling.” She visualizes the whole interaction, all the way through to the firm handshakes that close the meeting, sealing the deal.

A twenty-second hug is enough to send oxytocin coursing through your veins, and that you can achieve the same effect just by imagining the hug. So the next time you’re feeling anxious, you might want to imagine being wrapped up in a great big hug from someone you care about.

Self-confidence is our belief in our ability to do or to learn how to do something.

Self-esteem is how much we approve of or value ourselves. It’s often a comparison-based evaluation (whether measured against other people or against our own internal standards for approval).

Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when we’re going through a difficult experience.

It’s quite possible for people to have high self-confidence but low self-esteem and very low self-compassion.

Types of charisma:

Focus: Focus charisma requires, of course, the ability to focus and be truly present. Good listening skills are nonnegotiable, as is a certain degree of patience. To develop focus charisma, cultivate your ability to be present.

Visionary charisma makes others feel inspired; it makes us believe. It can be remarkably effective even though it won’t necessarily make people like you. We assess visionary charisma primarily through demeanor, which includes body language and behavior. Due to the fact that people tend to accept whatever you project, if you seem inspired, they will assume you have something to be inspired about.

kindness charisma comes entirely from body language—specifically your face, and even more specifically your eyes. Kindness charisma is primarily based on warmth. It connects with people’s hearts, and makes them feel welcomed, cherished, embraced, and, most of all, completely accepted.

Authority charisma is primarily based on a perception of power: the belief that this person has the power to affect our world. We evaluate someone’s authority charisma through four indicators: body language, appearance, title, and the reactions of others. you’ll need to learn how to “take up space” with your posture, reduce nonverbal reassurances (such as excessive nodding), and avoid fidgeting. You may need to speak less, to speak more slowly, to know how and when to pause your sentences, or how to modulate your intonation. Look expensive. 

Avoid holding a drink in your right hand, especially if it’s a cold drink, as the condensation will make your hand feel cold and clammy. Before shaking someone’s hand, whether you are a man or a woman, rise if you’re seated. And keep your hands out of your pockets: visible hands make you look more open and honest. Make sure to use plenty of eye contact, and smile warmly but briefly: too much smiling could make you appear overeager. Keep your head straight, without tilting it in any way, and face the person.

Ask people open ended questions, focus on questions that will likely elicit positive emotions. With your questions, you have the power to lead the conversation in the direction you want. In fact, even when you’re speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not I but you. Instead of saying “I read a great article on that subject in the New York Times,” try “You might enjoy the recent New York Times article on the subject.” Or simply insert “You know...” before any sentence to make them instantly perk up and pay attention.

Another way to exit a conversation with grace is to offer something of value:

Information: an article, book, or Web site you think might be of use to them A connection: someone they ought to meet whom you know and can introduce them to

Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak

Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for

When someone has spoken, see if you can let your facial expression react first, showing that you’re absorbing what they’ve just said and giving their brilliant statement the consideration it deserves. Only then, after about two seconds, do you answer. The sequence goes like this:

They finish their sentence

Your face absorbs

Your face reacts

Then, and only then, you answer

The next time you’re given a compliment, the following steps will help you skillfully handle the moment:

1. Stop.

2. Absorb the compliment.

3. Let that second of absorption show on your face. Show the person that they’ve had an impact.

4. Thank them. Saying “Thank you very much” is enough, but you can take it a step further by thanking them for their thoughtfulness or telling them that they’ve made your day.

It’s not just metaphors that can paint the wrong picture. Some common phrases can have the same effect. When you tell someone, “No problem,” “Don’t worry,” or “Don’t hesitate to call,” for example, there’s a chance their brain will remember “problem,” “worry,” or “hesitate” instead of your desire to support them. To counter this negative effect, use phrases like “We’ll take care of it” or “Please feel free to call anytime.”

You can deliver value to others in multiple ways:

Entertainment: Make your e-mail or meeting enjoyable.

Information: Give interesting or informative content that they can use. 

Good feelings: Find ways to make them feel important or good about themselves. 

The longer you speak, the higher the price you’re making them pay, so the higher the value ought to be. 

If your goal is to communicate power, set the pitch, tone, volume, and tempo of your voice in the following ways:

Pitch and tone: The lower, more resonant, and more baritone your voice, the more impact it will have.

Volume: One of the first things an actor learns to do on stage is to project his voice, which means gaining the ability to modulate its volume and aim it in such a targeted way that specific portions of the audience can hear it, even from afar. One classic exercise to hone your projection skills is to imagine that your words are arrows. As you speak, aim them at different groups of listeners.

Tempo: A slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses conveys confidence.

To emanate vocal warmth, you need to do only one thing: smile, or even just imagine smiling.

Charismatic people are known to be more “contagious”; they have a strong ability to transmit their emotions to others.

The most effective and credible compliments are those that are both personal and specific. For instance, instead of “Great job,” you could say, “You did a great job,” or, better yet, “The way you kept your calm when that client became obnoxious was impressive.”

Here’s one specific—and surprisingly effective—recommendation for phone charisma, courtesy of author Leil Lowndes: Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead, answer crisply and professionally. Then, only after you hear who is calling, let warmth or even enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. This simple technique is an easy and effective way to make people feel special. I recommend it to all my business clients whose companies have a strong customer service component. The gains in customer satisfaction are impressive.

Charisma takes practice. Steve Jobs, who appeared so masterful on stage, was known to rehearse important presentations relentlessly.

Retain at least a certain measure of equanimity. Most charismatic leaders are known for their ability to remain (or appear) calm even in the midst of turbulent circumstances.

girl, lock in! 📓🍵🩰

UP your water intake! no more bloating here.

7-10k steps a day. move. your. body — walk, chores, park farther. don’t take shortcuts, do it all!

probiotics, protein, fiber.

prioritize whole foods.

educate yourself for an hour a day. NO EXCUSES. listen to podcasts/youtube videos/audiobooks. read an article or book. learn how to cook better or take care of your skin type. just learn something! don’t let your brain be wasted away. it CRAVES growth.

HAVE ADMIN DAYS. make your to do lists, set 3 priority tasks and set 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time to tackle them. boom.

stop aimlessly shopping. you have everything to need to live. save up! your future self will thank you.

Treat yourself with respect

Different forms of self-respect:

1. Eating good food. Caring for your body is a way of caring for yourself. Therefore eating nutrition food and nursing your body with the right food is very important.

2. Skincare. Your skin is a reflection of your habits (diet, skincare, etc.)

3. Movement. Every movement is important for both your body and mind. Creating a strong mind is key to self respect.

4. Reading. Being able to read and understand different stories creates a stronger mind.

5. Time for yourself. Saving time and energy for yourself will bring your life to peace. Not everyone and everything deserves YOUR attention.

Protect your peace

youtube wellness channels: a masterlist

workout channels

akshaya agnes - pilates, yoga, strength training

april han - bodyweight strength training

bailey brown - pilates

boho beautiful yoga - yoga

cami sophia - pilates

caroline girvan - weight & strength training

celamarr - weight & strength training

charlie follows - yoga

daisy keech - strength training

dansique fitness - pilates & ballet style workouts

dayana wang - short workouts you can do in bed

dn.beauty natural - short slimming workouts

eleni fit - cardio, pilates, hiit

emi wong - bodyweight strength training

eylem abaci - strength training, pilates

feel good with olya - bodyweight strength training, stretching

fightmaster yoga - yoga

fit by lys - pilates, low impact workouts

fitness__kaykay - weight & strength training, mobility

flow with mira - pilates

gayatri yoga - yoga, pilates, yogalates

gloria song - bodyweight strength training

growingannanas - weight & strength training

growwithjo - walking workouts, strength training, pilates

hailey c. - bodyweight strength training

heather robertson - weight & strength training

hinafit - kpop inspired bodyweight strength training

isawelly - pilates

jessica richburg - yoga

julia.reppel - mobility, strength training

kaila wen - pilates

kpop fitness - kpop inspired strength training and stretches

lena snow - bodyweight strength training

lilly sabri - pilates

madeleine abeid - pilates

madfit - weight & strength training

mady morrison - yoga, stretching

mary braun - bodyweight strength training

mizi - strength training, cardio

move with nicole - pilates

moving mango pilates - pilates

nathalie shanti - pilates, yoga

nobadaddiction - weight & strength training, cardio, hiit

oppserve - bodyweight strength training, stretching

pamela reif - strength training, stretching

pilatesbodyraven - pilates

rachel gulotta fitness - strength training, cardio, fun themed workouts and stretches

rachel’s fit pilates - pilates, strength training, cardio

raminara - pilates

rovena - walking workouts

shirlyn kim - pilates, bodyweight strength training, cardio

sydney cummings houdyshell - weight & strength training

teagan dixon - fun cardio, bodyweight strength training

the glow method - yoga, pilates

the yoga ranger studio - yoga

yoga with adriene - yoga

yoga with bird - yoga

yoga with kassandra - yoga

yoga with kate amber - yoga

yuuka sagawa - bodyweight strength training

somifit - strength training

other channels

diana conforti - fitness, meals, workouts

gainsbybrains - fitness, body recomp/fat loss

janet ndomahina - health, productivity, general wellness

keltie o’connor - fitness, general wellness, nutrition

kyla beland - fitness, health, general wellness

leanbeefpatty - nutrition, talks, motivation

lenalifts - vlogs, fitness, habits

linda sun - nutrition, realistic eating

llexliftz - fitness, healing relationships with food

michael sealey - sleep meditation and hypnosis

mina rome - cooking and recipes

nairee kiana - fitness, health, general wellness

natacha océane - fitness, health, general wellness

rachel wrigley - nutrition, healing relationship with food

samantha clarke - pilates and strength training, vlogs

sanne vloet - pilates, vlogs, nutrition

vicky justiz - bodyweight strength training, fitness tips