How Suppressing Emotions Affects Your Body

You will disappoint people you care about when you put yourself first.

Perspectives shifts to make peace with this:

• Disappointment is unavoidable; it’s part of being human.

• Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you care less about others.

• You can’t pour from an empty cup—your well-being matters.

• People who truly care will understand your need for boundaries.

• Disappointment is temporary; resentment from overgiving lasts longer.

• Prioritizing yourself sets an example for others to do the same.

• Your worth isn’t tied to how much you sacrifice for others.

• Saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to yourself.

• You’re responsible for your happiness, not their expectations.

• Growth often feels uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for a fulfilling life.

When it comes to family (as many such cases):

• Family expectations can feel heavier, but you’re still allowed to set boundaries.

• Disappointing them doesn’t mean you don’t love them—it means you’re human.

• Your needs matter, even if they don’t always align with family traditions or values.

• You can explain your choices, but you’re not responsible for their feelings.

• Loving your family doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

• Putting yourself first can strengthen relationships by reducing resentment.

• Healthy boundaries lead to healthier family dynamics over time.

• It’s okay to grow in a direction that feels right for you, even if they don’t understand.

• You are not obligated to meet everyone’s expectations—family or not.

• Peace comes from accepting that love & disappointment can coexist.

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

#Beautytips #perfume

How do I smell nice all the time?

I am pretty sure the best compliment (okay, if not the top 5 best compliments ever) is something along the lines of ‘you smell so nice’. It inflates my ego just right and I get giddy with happiness. Smelling nice isn’t just about wearing perfume. No, it starts at the shower and ends at after when you spray your perfume. The most important key to smelling good is scent layering. Scent layering is the art of wearing different scents at any one time and it can be traced back to the Middle East. Scent layering either really intensifies the one group of fragrance you are wearing or it helps you create your own bespoke signature scent.

Scent layering starts in the shower. Its actually very simple, if you want to smell very Vanilla- use vanilla scented products, if you want to smell like flowers, use floral shower gels and lotions, if you want to smell like musk… use musk scented shower products. Old rich people love the dove unscented bar and so do I. If you don’t know in the shower what you want to smell like, use a neutral smelling soap. It truly is the best bar of soap because it doesn’t leave an overpowring smell after using it. For your vulva, water is enough. Mild soap if you want to ‘really’ clean the area but stick to the outer labia and don’t put it in you. I use the dove bar after I have been to gym or during my period and I use just water to really clean between the folds. Also change your underwear everyday please. I like to store my underwear with some scented wax tablets or scented sachets. I like to put them in all of my drawers just so my underwears and socks can smell nice.

For everyday shower, I use a loofah, silicone body brush and a muslin cloth to clean my body but every third day I go in with a coarse mitt or a silk glove and exfoiliate my skin that way.  I spend a good minute cleaning both my armpits.  Thats the only place I really sweat so I need that place to be squeaky clean with no odour. I cannot have hair there either because I hate the way armpit hair traps body odour so I wax them every-week. My favourite deodorant is the Salt of the Earth, which hands down is the beat deodorant. I don’t know what they put in it but it is magical. It works against the worst of BO; I know someone whose sweat was very unpleasant and after I have gifted one to her, both of us have been very happy. I have all the spray versions and I rotate through each one depending on what I want to smell like that day. I have a whole foot care routine which I will talk about at some other point but for foot odour, I reccomend  wearing different pairs of clean socks everyday (you should not be sharing shoes and socks). I use the same Salt of Earth deodrant on my feet and if I am going to gym then I use foot powder as well. After I come home, I like spray the insides of my shoes with a shoe deodourizer and then go wash my feet in the shower.

Carrying on, scent layering phase 2 is lotions and oils. The same rule applies, stick to the same smell group. After you start getting the hang of how perfume and smell works you can start mixing different scented lotions and perfume but until then just stick to the basic groups. I use my body serums, lotions, moisturisers and on top of all that I put my scented moisturiser on. This way I can use my body products that help with KP and dryness and still smell nice. Perfumes and especially perfume oils stay on better on moisturised skin as the oils lock onto your skin better so always make sure you put some lotion on before you spray your perfume. I also mix traditional perfume oils that I have collected from all over the Arab world to South Asia into my lotions if I am going for a more traditional smell that day.

Tip🪄: Perfume brands will actually sell scented body lotions, shower gels and even hair mists in their popular acents. The body lotions are usually much cheaper and you can totally buy just that and still smell amazing for the fraction of the cost. They are also great for people who find perfumes in general to be a but too much but still want to smell like something. For my fave perfumes I buy the entire set so I smell like my fave perfume.

Spraying the perfume is phase 3. I use perfume before I put my clothes on. There is a lot of debate on how many sprays and how many whatnots but my rule is maximum one spritz on each and every pulse point and one cloud one. As much as I love perfume I dont like being choked by it. So I am always mindful about how many sprays because your perfume should be lingering and alluring not cloaking and invasive to people’s repository system. I will do one final spritz on my hair (using a hair mist) and that is me done. 

Your home smell is very important as well. You yourself are nose blind to it, but you do smell like your house and that can affect how others view you. What you cook, how you store your clothes, how stagnant the air is in your home, it all adds up. As a South Asian, the smell of my food ending up in my clothes is inevitable. To tackle this, I am strict at having different pairs of home clothes and going out clothes. As soon as I come in, I change into loungewear and spritz my clothes with a deodourizer and fabric freshner and put them away. When I cook I am mindful to open the ventilations, open the windows and keep the doors to my closet and rooms shut and I always wear an aporn.

I like everything to smell nice and that includes my home. I light various Thai/Japanese/Tibetan incense which makes my place smell like a monastery and some bakhoor to add sultry oriental feel. My old Sudanese friend taught me how to smoke my clothes with incense and I do that a lot too. I find it imperative to have mini dehumidifiers in the corners of my shelves and closet and these hanging ones on my clothing rails and in my drawers I have these tiny ones. They are great for humid enviroments and stop mold and mildew forming on the clothes.

Daphne xoxo

Woman to woman, I tell you this because I want you to be in a healthy relationship:

• Be with a man that loves you a little bit more, because he's the one who will propose to you.

• Always get your degree and a job first, heal yourself and then start dating somebody.

• Know what you want in life and what you're looking for in a partner. Truly get to know your wants and needs first.

• Learn how to spot red flags in a relationship, unhealthy attachment styles, narcissism etc.

• Learn how to detach yourself from men and decenter men. Let men come to you.

• Have a life outside a relationship: Make time for your hobbies, spend time with your friends, go on solo dates... You had a whole life before him

i just want to spend the rest of this year letting things flow for once in my life and not stress over outcomes and/ or situations i have absolute no control over. just letting God guide me while i work on being the best version of me.

Sent over by my mentor