How Fitting Is It That I Went Stargazing Right After This

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

✨ 🌹⭐️🪻🌸✨🌟☀️✨🌺🌷✨ 🔮 *stabs you >:3c🔪*

Elaborate thirty-second-long magical girl transformation sequence, and at the end of it the only difference is that I'm now holding a knife.

Listen to your body because it can’t lie to you, don’t listen to your head because it’s lying to you all the time, respect it when it vents though, make everything special, give people random compliments, allow yourself to be a little shit and accept the fact that sometimes you will feel like the dumbest person on the planet, and that this applies to everyone

Also eat soup touch rock and pet small fuzzy animal

has anyone figured out how to be a real person yet

Where's my Jewish phrase for when you people are being irrevocably horny?

Screw it, here's a silly comic from september, my christmas treat to you [suggestive under cut]

Dialogue is fainter than I remembered so I added image descriptions

Also there is more banter but I don't think tumblr would like it very much eheh

People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

"you don't even have a suitable hospital in your town." "local medicine... local medicine can do a lot"