Please Potato. Get Me A Job. PLEASE.

Ending 2

Everyone: Happy birthday, Tim!!

Tim: what?? Holy shit i forgot it was my birthday!

Jason: yup and you’re 18 so you know what that means

Dick: jason no

Jason: i got you a pack of cigarettes for your birthday gift!

Tim: uhh, thanks but… i don’t really plan on taking up that habit

Jason: wow golly gee. That’s a real shame right there. Huh guess i have no choice but to enjoy these myself. Welp it’s the thought that counts right timbo

Tim: yeahh, thanks Jason…

Steph: anyyyway, i got a cake, your favorite!

Dick: no, gifts first!

Damian: indeed. Opening presents should be top priority.

Duke: I’m hungry and there are a lot of presents so I vote cake!

Cass: …cake would be… nice

Alfred: might we let master Tim decide? It is his special day after all

Bruce: Tim, cake or gifts first?

Tim: cake!!!

[Rolls out cake]

Tim: wow Alfred it looks great! But… and I’m not complaining it’s just… it says I’m 17

Alfred: ? Indeed you are master Tim

Tim: uhh, this is my 18th birthday. We already established that

Damian: -tt- what are you on about, Drake? Just blow out the candles

Tim: but… [sees the banner above that now reads happy “17th birthday” instead of “18th” birthday]

Tim: but… but…

Dick: r u feeling okay, Tim?

Tim: jason u know I’m 18 now right? You literally just tried to give me cigarettes for my birthday?

Dick: jason you did what??

Jason: i didn’t I swear! I got him a pair of socks, white and plain like him. Although thanks, Replacement, now i know what you want for next year i guess

Steph: tim… you’re 17…

Tim: no I’m not! Here I’ll get my drivers license… [looks at license]

Tim: but this says I was born in… no i was born a year earlier than this! Guys something is really wrong!

Duke: dude ur really starting to freak us out

Bruce: tim… i assure you that today is your 17th birthday

Tim: … today is my 17th birthday? Is… that can’t be… is today really my 17th?

Dick: yeah and congrats on turning 17, Tim! You’re finally a dancing queen!!

Duke: just think next year you’ll be an adult!

Tim: ha… yeah… next year… it’s just… i feel like I’ve heard that before

Tim: ha, must be tired. Oh well! [Blows out candles] happy 17th birthday for me, I guess

i need to write a story about this IMMEDIATELY

a lot of people have said this already but

warrior!penelope with ares as her mentor

reblog if you’re a writer who’s very terrible at responding to comments from your readers, but has read them all and loves and appreciates each and every single one of them very dearly

Dp x Dc fic idea that wouldn't let me sleep:

"No, you don't understand! I need my powers. I'll die without them!" Danny pleaded with the officer in front of him.

"Sure, kid, and I need a burger. You'll be just fine without your flight or superstrength or whatever. Look, I see kids like you all the time nowadays. You think just because you have a few powers, you can become some kind of hero. You run away from home, cause trouble in the name of 'justice' or whatever. Then reality hits. You start stealing. What's a few stolen bucks or candy bars in the name of the greater good, right? It's a downward spiral from there. Seems you were pretty far down the spiral. Beating up government agents? Kid, there is no way in hell I'm letting you out of here without the meta power suppressant collar. You're lucky Mr. Wayne was so generous and decided to foster you until we find your parents. I would've sent your troublesome ass back to juvie."

I was thinking this was a bad timeline where the Fenton parents died and Danny ran away. The power suppressing collar does work on him somehow, and cuts him off from his ghost half, which stops the ectoplasm that was keeping him alive since the accident.

I pictured Bruce as the foster parent that decided to help the troubled teen, but it could be anyone. Imagine if Lex Luthor decided he wanted to "help" (read: manipulate the young meta into doing his bidding) Danny instead. Extra angst.

Okay, but what if Danny, in an effort to be less of a liar and more of a cheater, learned sleight of hand and magic and lock picking?

What if, as he gets older and the need to explain how he got in somewhere, or how he got something, or how he got out of something gets to be so abysmally frequent that he just decides: fuck it. I’m gonna be that guy. You know, that guy that just Knows Weird Shit. That guy that just Does Things because he’s a little feral.  

Instead of risking his identity and/or getting shot at as Phantom he just...becomes the delinquent that breaks into random places just to see if he could. Just ‘cause he’s bored. If they coincide with Phantom’s activities? Well. Phantom’s a cool guy. Maybe he’s got taste. 

He’ll break out some card tricks, do a little invisibility, make a little telekinesis happen--just cool little party tricks in the middle of the day. Break into locked closets just to ditch class purely because “fiddling with his magic tricks is better than class” (and totally not because he’s out there fighting ghosts, no sirree). 

Practices incessantly during lunch hours. Starts trying to break out of handcuffs in math class. A little bit of a routine with escape artist tricks applied liberally to get out of English class. Tries to see if a teacher can catch him in the act. (They never can, and it only takes a couple months for it to be purely on his skill, and not with a little help from his powers).

Loudly proclaims he’s trying to hunt Phantom, but not to “rip him apart,” just to hang because Danny thinks he’s really neat. 

Imagine that being Danny’s best fucking cover, cause at this point, whose gonna question why Danny is standing right where Phantom just disappeared to? Danny probably broke in just to stalk the poor ghost. Jesus. He’s been in weirder places for weirder reasons. He once pulled a rabbit out of some kid’s ear. His reason? 

“I just thought the coin trick was so dull. Plus, you know, bunny ears? ...No? Too much of a stretch? Yeah I thought so too. Oh, well. Back to the drawing board I guess.”

some drawings of jason i did from twt<3333

After moving to Gotham and having to deal with a stressful job, Danny has started taking walks around the city as a way to destress.

Since he knows that he could get mugged, he just becomes intangible and invisible while listening to some loud music on his phone.

Unfortunately for him, his control on his Invisibility keeps slipping when he gets lost in his music, and the people of Gotham keep seeing a semi-translucent ghost man walking around at night aimlessly.

Some thugs think it’s just a meta with invisibility and try to mug him, but pass right through and he disappears completely. This convinces them that he is a ghost, since having both invisibility, and intangibility would be too big a coincidence. Not to mention he never reacts to them whatsoever.

The Bat’s get word that a Ghost has been stalking the streets of Gotham, and he looks scarily like Bruce Wayne from the little they have been able to see from him. Now Batman thinks his dad may have come back as a ghost.

Danny is oblivious to all of this. He just likes his nightly strolls.

New chapter posted!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64262899/chapters/165583069#workskin

NEW FIC DROPPED!

SUMMARY: A girl from our world transmigrates into Miraculous Ladybug, and finds herself reborn as Celeste Grahms—someone who never existed in the show. Finding herself heiress to a global empire, and with a completley different script, Celeste finds that she isn't interested in playing by the canon rules. Why settle for the sidelines when she can find herself the main chacracter?

The original plot? Doesn’t matter. She didn’t ask for this, so why follow the script everyone else is bound to? With a darker Paris, a more ruthless Hawkmoth and her least favourite character standing in her way, she can be sure of only one thing in this new life of hers—Celeste Grahms refuses to be anyone’s pawn, when she can become the queen.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64262899/chapters/164948017

Guys, I'm re-reading the outline for one of my books (my favourite book, that I've been writing for YEARS), and this is so funny to me.

'She smiles a strained smile, and goes to bed. The next morning she makes a plan where she decides to pretend to have a Talent, in plants. This is not a good plan.'

I LOVE IT, I LOVE MY PAST SELF

@peter-stank please don’t have a stroke,, ily <3