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Feral McGee™

It starts with the Joker. 

His goons picked up Tim Drake. Not specifically because it was Tim Drake, he just so happened to be in the Joker’s neighborhood, and we'll, he can't pass up that opportunity now can he? 

Except Tim Drake is watching, along with the rest of Gotham, at the Batcomputer. He’s nursing a broken foot and has been put on monitor duty until he's cleared for field work again. 

The guy looks enough like him, though. Black hair, blue eyes, and bags under his eyes for days. He's also got the same lean sort of build like he does. 

It happens like this. 

The Joker is doing his monologue thing where he explains whatever twisted game he's come up with this time. He takes up the majority of the screen, so nobody can see Not-Tim behind him, not until the big reveal. Then he covers the screen again, getting up close and personal, before stepping back. In those quick few seconds, Not-Tim is no longer sitting there tied to the chair. 

Someone off camera lets the Joker know, and he whirls around, confused as the rest of Gotham. 

And then Not-Tim comes in with the steel chair. 

Or, well, a crowbar, but the reference holds up. 

He takes out one of Joker’s knees before punching him in the face. The Joker drops like a bag of stones, out cold. 

Then he looks towards the camera. 

“Hey there. I'm not really sure where I am, but also if he was after Tim Drake, he got the wrong guy. I'm not him, I'm just some dude. Anyway, I'll just-yep-” he carefully steps over the unconscious Joker, gives the camera a little wave, and then leaves. 

Batman and Nightwing enter shortly after, with the Joker and his goons out cold and tied up. The knots were complicated enough where, in the end, the police resorted to cutting the ties off of them so they could be properly cuffed and taken to Arkham. 

“A constrictor knot,” Batman tells Nightwing as they watch the villain be taken away. “Often used by sailors to temporarily tie things together to keep something in a bag, or to hold something to glue it back together.”

“Huh,” Nightwing says, scratching the back of his head. “Go figure.”

—

The next time it happens, it’s the Riddler. 

He’s laughing, giving his riddles to the Bats and recording himself to all of Gotham while his victim, one of the Wayne brats, hangs over a vat of something. From a distance, he looks like Tim Drake, or maybe a lankier Dick Grayson. And he’s not the only victim, they’re all scattered across the city, but he thought an important figure such as a Wayne should be under the Riddler’s direct supervision while he enacts his schemes. 

While the Riddler cackles and plots and waves his cane around, in the background all of Gotham can see the figure escape. Several Gothamites recognize him as the kid from before, who clocked the Joker. They all watch with bated breath as he sort of wiggles his way out of the ropes holding him up. Once he’s free, he climbs the rope and gets himself down safely. 

Gotham holds their breath as the kid casually walks up to the Riddler, who’s mid-rant. He politely taps him on the shoulder, and as the Riddler is turning around, the kid clocks him just as brutally as he had the Joker. He’s down with one punch. 

They think he’s going to say another sort of awkward goodbye, but instead he pats the Riddler down until he finds a piece of paper tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket. 

“Right,” the kid says, looking at the list. There’s a lot more static overlay now, and several wonder if it’s damage to the cameras. “Uh, the Clocktower, the Docks, and-” he squints at the page for a moment-”Mama Nacaroni’s? What the fuck is that? Anyway, uh. See you later, I guess. Oh! And we’re at the Gotham Arena. Have fun with him, I guess.”

The kid tosses the paper off to the side before the camera cuts to black. 

Just like last time, everyone is out cold and tied up. The Riddler himself is sporting a pretty bad shiner, but well deserved nonetheless. 

“Stop it,” Red Hood tells him. Batman just looks at him, and though Hood can’t see the top half of his face, he can tell that his eyebrow is raised. “You know exactly what I mean, B. Put the adoption papers away.”

“Hn.”

—

After that, it sorta becomes a game. The rogues of Gotham are no longer after a Wayne, or after anybody who holds any kind of social status like usual. They’re all going after this one kid, all determined to be the one to hold him. And each one is televised. 

Mr. Freeze freezes him in a block of ice, but due to the cameras glitching out, nobody can really see how he got free. They do, however, see the kid suplex Mr. Freeze. It should seem impossible, given his lanky figure, but he evidently has more muscle than he’s originally let on. 

Two-Face gets a hold of him, using chains and some power-dampening cuffs just on the off-chance that he’s a meta. They all watch as the kid leans down, pulls a bobby pin out of his hair, and picks the locks on his cuffs. One punch, and Two-Face is down. 

Gothamites are going wild for the kid. They’ve dubbed him Feral McGee™ (an online poll, of course), because every time he goes in for the punch he gets this feral look in his eyes. Also, just the fact that he casually goes up to these rogues and takes them out with all the casualness of doing something incredibly mundane? Incredible. The Gothamites are eating it up. However, despite the video evidence, nobody has been able to properly identify the kid. They know he has black hair and bright eyes, but any time he gets near a camera, it’s like there’s this weird, sort of warped quality the camera takes on. It doesn’t usually calm down until the fight is done-as one sided as they usually are-before he awkwardly skedaddles away.  

He gets kidnapped by the Penguin, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy (though that was more just a friendly chat than anything), Mad Hatter, and the Riddler again. 

And then the Joker escapes. 

It’s no surprise as to who he’s going to go after. 

Due to one too many careless goons, they manage to find their way to the Joker’s hideout pretty quickly. This time, it’s all Bats on deck, and they all hide away in the rafters as Feral McGee™ is hung over a vat of acid. His whole body is tied up, hardly a single inch of exposed skin to be seen except for the neck up. 

They watch the goons, they watch the Joker, and they watch Feral McGee™. 

The Joker is monologuing, practically begging the bats to come find him before the timer runs out. When it does, the kid gets dumped into the vat of acid. 

Despite these stakes, the kid seems to be only mildly annoyed. 

“Fuck this, I have homework I still need to finish,” they hear him say. 

They all watch, amazed and confused, as the kid starts gnawing through the ropes. Human teeth shouldn’t be able to do that so easily, but one bit after the other, and soon enough the kid’s got himself freed enough to just climb up the rest of the rope. When he’s at the top of the crane holding him up, Batman lets down a rope and pulls the kid up and out of danger. 

“Oh, cool, you’re all here,” the kid says casually, as if meeting the entire Bat Clan is just a normal Tuesday. And then he pulls out a notepad and pen and hands it to Red Hood. 

“Can I get an autograph? You’re dope as fuck, dude.”

Red Hood has to look away and hide his face in his arms for a few moments to not give away their location with his laughter before signing. And then, one by one, the others do as well. They pass along the kid’s notebook with shit-eating grins and barely contained snickers despite the fact that the Joker is still right below them. Even Batman signs it, after his children don’t stop hounding him about it. 

In their distraction, they didn’t see the kid sneak away. He’s far away from them now, nearly right over the Joker. Danny waits, though, until the Joker has turned around as the timer almost runs out. They watch as he snickers at Joker’s flabbergasted look. The Joker comically looks back and forth and under objects the kid obviously isn’t under. However, before he can do or say anything else, the kid drops from the rafters and right on top of the Joker. He crumples to the ground, unconscious. The kid, however, just brushes the dust off of himself. Despite the fall he took, there isn’t a scratch on him. 

When the bats join him, they give his notepad back to him, barely able to contain their laughter at the absurdity of it all. The kid, too, joins in the camaraderie, laughing and joking along with them as Batman secures the Joker. 

“Okay, okay, but I gotta ask, dude,” Red Hood says at one point, looking at the kid. “How do you keep getting kidnapped?”

The kid just shrugs. “I get distracted easily. And I’m sleep deprived, so you know. Social awareness is kind of at an all time low right now.”

“Why are you sleep deprived?” Nightwing asks, barely hidden concern in his voice. 

 “Finals are kinda kicking my ass right now. Especially this dumb English homework I have. You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Oh, lucky for you,” Red Hood says, wrapping an arm around the kid’s shoulders as he walks them out of the warehouse, “I happen to know a lot about English. So, it is Shakespeare?”

“Yeah, Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

As they walk off, Batman calmly watches, though the rest of the bats can see his jaw twitching. Nightwing comes up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“If you don’t adopt him, I will.”

“Hn.”

maribat ideas that don’t involve maribat:

Alya getting an internship in the Daily Planet because of her work reporting the whole series

Luka keeps on figuring people’s identities out and it becomes such a problem for the Bats

Alix pops around the timeline befriending people and driving Booster Gold mad

Nino gets a Green Lantern ring and everyone is annoyed that he’s so naturally talented except no he already had training so now suspicion is cast upon him

Juleka and Rose go to a gala at Gotham via the ‘Jagged is from Gotham’ trope and meet Tim & Bernard and they both think Rose is insane

Colt Fathom is related to Thomas Wayne and Felix brings Kagami with him to the reunion gala and the Bats try to get information about Paris

Kaldur finds out Plagg has returned and immediately goes to try and appease him only to find Adrien

Nathalie knows Talia from her adventuring days and asks her if she could watch over Adrien while Nathalie handled the trial and then the Teen Titans show up

Superman’s identity is about to be exposed and Marinette shows up via Alya and creates a plan that completely derails the broadcast

The whole class is caught in a villain attack and their terrifying hypercompetence in the situation had everyone alarmed

Little Katsuki being the worst and I mean the WORST at trying to express his feelings for little Izuku and as a result, he ends up making the poor green kid cry and run away from him every single time.

Then Masaru and Mitsuki pick him up from school and the blond boy is tearing up, but at the same time frustrated and angry until his father asks what's going on.

"Deku doesn't like me!"

After asking more about the other kid, the Bakugos realize it's that sweet boy with green curls whose mother is one of the kindest people on earth.

"You mean little Izuku!" Masaru says with a smile. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make friends with him in no time!"

"I WANT HIM TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!"

"That's my brat!" Mitsuki starts laughing, prompting Katsuki to get angrier until Masaru intervenes.

"Maybe you should tell him how you feel."

"I DID! HE DOESN'T LIKE MY LETTERS!"

"Let me see those, brat."

Katsuki gives them the pieces of paper that have the most ominous, weird messages that a little kid can come up with. All of them written in red ink.

I'll take your heart, Deku.

I'll make your heart explode, nerd.

You won't be able to escape from me.

Masaru remains silent for a couple of minutes while Mitsuki ends up on the floor dying of laughter.

Little explosions are coming from Katsuki's hands and he's about to start yelling, but Masaru stops them both in time.

He then promises to help his son with the letters.

After reading a cute letter, Izuku agrees to be Katsuki's boyfriend, although none of them know exactly what that means, but they hold hands all the time now.

Katsuki even thanks his father after that and Masaru almost cries out of happiness.

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

—

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

—

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

—

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

—

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

—

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

—

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

Part 3 with Phantom's POV and more misunderstandings:

Updating on AO3 as well;

He struggles sometimes, even now. He’d lost himself for a long while – he couldn’t be sure for how long, decades or centuries. Time was weird in the Realms; a minute in one region could be 3 days in another.

But he knew that without his star, without the literal other half of his soul that he’d go into a spiral. A spiral of hate, of despair. He’d be just, but he couldn’t muster the emotions needed to be kind.

And then he’d come back. Phantom had known it was going to happen – had gone straight to Clockwork when his human side had died, and had been reassured that he’d be reborn. That had been the only thing keeping him from going on a spree, taking the Realms with him.

He’d known the instant that Danny had gotten his memories back. He wanted to tear through the realms, tear through countless dimensions to find him, but Clockwork had stayed him.

Told him to wait, to make sure that the timeline could reach the most favourable outcome. He’d wanted to snarl, wanted to say ‘Fuck the timeline’, but one pointed look at the shrunken core of Dan was enough to stymie him.

So he waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like centuries. It felt like days. Time was weird in the Realms.

But they’d reunited, had laughed and cried and talked about what each of them had missed.

It was weird.

Dann – Damian, had been apparently bought up as an assassin? His retelling wasn’t the most coherent, and there were clearly some things he skirted around, but imagining his human side, who’d been bullied and shoved into lockers by Dash Baxter, as a sword wielding assassin was surreal.

He looked mostly the same – lithe, and the impression of wiry muscles under a ridiculous costume. He laughed when he heard that that was a vigilante costume, and that Damian was meant to be working during the night.

He tracked the other changes too - darker skin tone, but piercing green eyes – the exact same shade of his own. Facial structure was different but not too dissimilar to what he'd looked like before. They looked like siblings now, rather than the exact same. He found that he liked it, despite the changes.

He could feel emotions coming back to him; emotions that he had thought had been gone forever. Laughter, sadness, anger. He’d been numb to all emotions except protectiveness, and justice. He could feel a part of him that had been missing filled in, a perpetual ache gone.

Damian had had to leave then, their reunion too short. But he looked more settled, younger even – as though his trek had aged him, and seeing his other half had soothed him.

Desiree had escaped then, trailing into the natural portal that Damian had found. She found herself in that dimension, wreaking havoc and granting wishes everywhere.

Phantom had gone after her, intent on dragging her back. He’d done it too – but not before they’d been noticed, a hoard of heroes after them.

He’d acquiesced to their questioning, even when they had become pointed and rude.

Who was she? What was she? Will she be back? Where did you both come from? What species are you? How did you get here? Are you dangerous?

He answered the bare bones, before a drunken man had come in, blonde hair swept back and a 5 o’clock shadow. One look at him, and he paled, dragging Batman – and really what sort of name was that? – away, before he came back apologising profusely after a whispered conversation.

He heard the zeta tubes announcing people coming up, and then were far more people in the space station than had been before.

He’d seen Dan-Damian, and he smiled, a soft thing that he wiped after seeing other members of this Justice League staring at him.  

Time passed, and he was getting bored. Damian must have seen it because he walked towards him, and they started talking softly about the past few days. They must have deemed him as not too much of a threat, because aside from a few glances their way, everyone went back to their own conversations.

That was – until Damian had laughed at something he said. He laughed loudly, head tilted back, and he saw from the corner of his eyes the shocked looks of his family. It wasn’t obvious, but with what Damian had told him of the family, he could pinpoint it – the widened eyes, the sudden drops of shoulders, the pause in conversations.

He’d seen one of them square his shoulders as though he was volunteering to be shot. He walked over; false smile plastered on and had grilled him, trying to make it look as though he wasn’t.

Red Robin, he called himself. There was a beat where he had contemplated what to say to him, and his eyes had flickered over to Dan-Damian, where they had a conversation in a glance.

Red Robin was smart – the smartest of Damian’s siblings. If there was anyone who had worked out that they were two halves of a soul, it had to be him. He’d come forward, volunteering, so he likely already knew, and was just trying to confirm.

He saw the mask fall, and was delighted by it; it was a subtle sign, but to Phantom, and to Damian, it meant that Red Robin knew and trusted them!

He continued the conversation, and he heard even more hints – RR definitely knew, but was trying to keep it under wraps for now.

He was so happy that he started floating, relaxing slightly as his hair billows out.

Damian gave out another titbit – and Red Robin makes a small noise, to which Damian widens his eyes.  Their little game of hiding true answers beneath normal ones reminded him of politics in the Realms.

And then he messed up, almost calling Damian by a name he no longer had. He’d stopped himself in time, but the speed that Red Robin had looked at Damian said it all – he knew.

So when Damian had gripped his wrist in a gentle grasp, with a furtive glance too quick for Red Robin to notice, he nods slightly; Damian then gives out the biggest clue, enough to have Red Robin confirm his suspicions.

“نصفي الآخر” “My other half”

Phantom sees by the way his mouth falls open slightly that the clue had reached its mark. He congratulates himself, and knows by Damian’s expression that he’s doing the same.

One day in this dimension and his first couple of steps in helping to reveal their bond was already done.

What a job well done!

Dcxdp #22

Danny's human half dying as collateral during a fight. That human half goes into reincarnation and is reborn as Damian Wayne. He isn't born with all of his memories but he definitely feels that something is wrong. they would get their Memories Back at about 8 and have a horrible time dealing with being an assassin. Danny would try to stick to the personality they already had before but there's definitely slip-ups of them being like yeah this is wrong and Talia thinks they take after their father because of it. 

The first thing Danny does when they're not being monitored by their mom or the bat family is to look for Phantom. Phantom to have run away to the ghost Zone and has built a reputation as a merciless ruler. He's a good ruler and he's not a tyrant but  he doesn't have the reputation of kindness. Damien as the moral compass of the duo is really funny to me.

 There's a situation later that involves ghosts which is where Danny/Damian and Phantom meet again. I want there to be a very big misunderstanding that heroes think Phantom is obsessed with Damien but in reality they are literally other halves of a soul. Phantom keeps doing and saying things that no one else would get away with around Damien. Phantom would be saying things like making fun of his height or giving him nicknames but as far as anyone else sees Davian doesn't even flinch.

Danny/Damian and Phantom have lived Separate Lives for a while so they don't automatically fuse into one person. I think they would fuse for a few hours just to feel themselves be one Soul again but they have Separate Lives so they can't stay that way. The bat family is very concerned with Damien continuing to talk to the obsessive ghost that keeps possessing his body.

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

check out @fandomsforpali for more info about how to use your art, writing, or donations to help families in Palestine!! contributor applications for their first campaign, Miraculers for Palestine, open tomorrow, January 10.

(and check out the voice acted video version of this comic, it’s phenomenal and i’m obsessed with it!)

Free Palestine! 🍉

latest chapter of dark matter omggg i loved it >.<

NEW FIC DROPPED!

SUMMARY: A girl from our world transmigrates into Miraculous Ladybug, and finds herself reborn as Celeste Grahms—someone who never existed in the show. Finding herself heiress to a global empire, and with a completley different script, Celeste finds that she isn't interested in playing by the canon rules. Why settle for the sidelines when she can find herself the main chacracter?

The original plot? Doesn’t matter. She didn’t ask for this, so why follow the script everyone else is bound to? With a darker Paris, a more ruthless Hawkmoth and her least favourite character standing in her way, she can be sure of only one thing in this new life of hers—Celeste Grahms refuses to be anyone’s pawn, when she can become the queen.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64262899/chapters/164948017

IT'S THE IDES OF MARCH BITCHES