“We Both Know I Could Rip You To Shreds And Do My Nails At The Same Time.”

“Honestly, you just take a deep breath and say fuck it.”

— Johnny Knoxville

sorry for thinking it's hot when men are experiencing the worst torment of their life. as if it's my fault

little baby duckling!!!!!!!!!!!

actual facts about Vergil, according to Suetonius:

he was dark skinned (”aquilo colore”; of dark color)

he was very tall and had a “rustic face” (whatever that means)

my poor boy had a terrible health and he suffered from headaches and stomach problems

he really, really liked boys (”libidinis in pueros pronioris”, “he was given to passions for boys” like me too son) and his faves were Cebes and Alexander, whom he calls Alexis in his second Bucolic

he was very socially awkward. once he became famous for his Bucolics, he hated going to Rome and if he absolutely had to, he “would take refuge in the nearest house, to avoid those who followed and pointed him out”

he worked as a lawyer only once and apparently he was terrible giving speeches, bless him

he had a very soft and beautiful voice, and he would get really excited while reading his poems. according to Suetonius, he was once reading the Aeneid (not yet finished) to Augustus and Octavia, and she was so affected by it that she fainted

Hades: Way to go, Zeus. The bar was set pretty low, but you found a shovel and tunneled underneath it.

"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic

"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident

what it’s like reading classics research

this is in dutch/german/french/whatever language you don’t know how to read

it is from the 60s and racist

gratuitous untranslated greek/latin

greek/latin that is translated, but into french for some reason

this book went out of print in 1763

there is exactly one physical copy of this book left in the world and it is located in a library across the ocean

broke: will graham is "hannisexual" meaning entirely straight with the exception of hannibal

woke: will graham is a repressed bisexual and his character arc is a metaphor for coming to terms w sexual identity

bespoke: will graham is bi and stares at guy butts all the time. we don't see any of this because he's too busy having diseases/being in jail/trying not to enjoy murder. he would have sucked hannibal silly at the drop of a hat.