Every Time I See Those Posts Like ‘what Food From A Show Did YOU Always Wanna Try’ I Go Lol None?

Dictatus Papae: Principles of the Papacy in the 11th Century

*My (amateur) attempt at proving the articles of Pope Gregory VII*

Article I: The Roman Church was founded by God alone.

The proof for this is well known; found in the Gospel according to Matthew 16:16-19:

Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answering said to him: Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-Jona: because flesh and blood hath not revealed it to thee, but my Father who is in heaven. And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give to thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven. And whatsoever thou shalt bind upon earth, it shall be bound also in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth, it shall be loosed also in heaven.

And further: we read from Lactantius in his On the Manner in Which the Persecutors Died:

And while Nero reigned, the Apostle Peter came to Rome, and, through the power of God committed unto him, wrought certain miracles, and, by turning many to the true religion, built up a faithful and steadfast temple unto the Lord.

Article II: The Roman Pontiff alone can with right be called "Universal".

Pope Saint Gregory the Great could not be more clear on this point in his letter (Book 5 Letter 18) to John the Faster:

Was it not the case, as your Fraternity knows, that the prelates of this Apostolic See which by the providence of God I serve, had the honour offered them of being called universal by the venerable Council of Chalcedon. But yet not one of them has ever wished to be called by such a title, or seized upon this ill-advised name, lest if, in virtue of the rank of the pontificate, he took to himself the glory of singularity, he might seem to have denied it to all his brethren.

Article III: He alone can depose or reinstate bishops.

As to to the former proposition (that of deposing) we have recourse to Constantinople IV (869):

We, however, follow and embrace the holy synod that Pope Nicholas of blessed memory conducted before the most sacred body of Peter, pre-eminent among the apostles, to which you yourself, the coangelic and supreme pontiff Hadrian, subscribed, and also the one that you yourself lately held. In accordance with the ruling of your decree we shall observe with the greatest respect all the statutes of these synods, receiving those they receive and condemning all whom they condemned, especially the aforementioned Photius and Gregory of Syracuse, those parricides who did not fear to exercise their tongues against their spiritual father. And we judge that all who persevere in schism, both their followers and those who remain in the fellowship of their communion, are as unworthy as they are of the grace of communion, if they do not obey you. For whoever joins himself to their communion has deserved the same sentence as they received, whether of acquittal or condemnation.

As to the latter proposition (that of reinstating) we see the Greek version of Canon 3 of the Synod at Serdica:

But if perchance sentence be given against a bishop in any matter and he supposes his case to be not unsound but good, in order that the question may be reopened, let us, if it seem good to your charity, honour the memory of Peter the Apostle, and let those who gave judgment write to Julius, the bishop of Rome, so that, if necessary, the case may be retried by the bishops of the neighbouring provinces and let him appoint arbiters; but if it cannot be shown that his case is of such a sort as to need a new trial, let the judgment once given not be annulled, but stand good as before.

And moreover we read in Pope John VIII’s letter to the Emperor Basil I:

For even the legates of the Apostolic See who were sent to Constantinople by our predecessor, the eminent Pontiff Hadrian, gave their well considered assent to the synod held there 'with the approval of their Pontiff', nor did they wish to remain severed from the Apostolicus [the Pope], since the See of St Peter, the key-bearer of the heavenly kingdom, has after due consideration power to absolve prelates from all ties. It is well known that many Patriarchs, Anastasius and Cyril of Alexandria, Flavianus and John of Constantinople and Polychronius of Jerusalem, who were condemned by synods, were promptly acquitted and reinstated by the Apostolic See.

Article IV: In council, his Legate, even if a lower grade, is above all bishops and can pass sentence of deposition against them.

A priest by the name of Boniface represented Pope Leo at the Council of Chalcedon. In the opening announcements, Boniface is cited prior to the Patriarch of Constantinople, Saint Anatolius, as if he was in the place of the Roman Pontiff himself. Ergo, etc.

Later, the Patriarch Dioscorus I of Alexandria was deposed on the authority of Boniface acting as Legate of the Apostolic See.

Article V: The Pope may depose the absent.

Pope Saint Zosimus condemns Caelestius in Letter 45 after Caelestius fled Rome.

Article VI: Among other things, we ought not to remain in the same house with those excommunicated by him.

If the previous articles are true, then, therefore etc.

Article VII: For him alone is it lawful, according to the needs of the time, to make new laws, to assemble together new congregations, to make an abbey of a canonry, and, on the other.

The papal priveleges of Sylvester II, in which we read of his establishing a monastery on the Authority of Peter:

If anyone, by rash boldness, however, shall attempt to contravene this document of our apostolic confirmation, though this seems impossible, let him be advised that he will have been held fast by the chain of the anathema of Our Lord [and] " of Peter, prince of the apostles, to be consumed in the everlasting fire with the devil and his most vicious retinue, and also with Judas, betrayer of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, sent down into the Tartarean depths to perish with the wicked. May he who is, indeed, the guardian and respecter of this our privilege receive the grace of benediction and eternal life from the Lord.

Article VIII: He alone may use the Imperial Insignia.

This article was actually directly derived from the famous forgery of the Donation of Constantine:

And when, the blessed Sylvester preaching them, I perceived these things, and learned that by the kindness of St. Peter himself I had been entirely restored to health: I together with all our satraps and the whole senate and the nobles and all the Roman people, who are subject to the glory of our rule -considered it advisable that, as on earth he (Peter) is seen to have been constituted vicar of the Son of God, so the pontiffs, who are the representatives of that same chief of the apostles, should obtain from us and our empire the power of a supremacy greater than the earthly clemency of our imperial serenity is seen to have had conceded to it,-we choosing that same prince of the apostles, or his vicars, to be our constant intercessors with God. And, to the extent of our earthly imperial power, we decree that his holy Roman church shall be honoured with veneration; and that, more than our empire and earthly throne, the most sacred seat of St. Peter shall be gloriously exalted; we giving to it the imperial power, and dignity of glory, and vigour and honour.

However, I would argue we see this concept manifest very clearly by at least the 5th century. In Pope Saint Leo the Great’s famous letter to Flavian (“the Tome of Leo”) and in Pope Saint Gelasius’ letter to Anastasius Augustus. In which both saintly Roman Pontiffs used the term “auctoritas” to describe their authority. Here is Anglican historian, Dr. Trevor Jalland describing Gelasius’ use of the word in his lecture series entitled Church and Papacy:

Here lies a distinction familiar to students of Roman constitutional law. Auctoritas belonged to the ideal and moral sphere, and just because its force was derived from tradition or from public opinion, it was strictly an ethical concept, as in the case of the Roman Senate, and so differed from the physical potestas endowed with executive imperium, which in the republican period belonged to the populus and was entrusted to the magisttrates only for the period of their office. There was therefore a clear though undefined sense in which auctoritas if compared with potestas could be regarded as the higher of the two, just as moral influence is superior to physical force.

Article IX: All princes shall kiss the feet of the Pope alone.

Evidence for this is found in the second volume of Duchesne’s Liber Pontificalis, which I don’t have access to in English and the scanned Latin is horrible on archive. The quote, as I gathered from elsewhere, supposedly reads as such:

The unanimous Senate then came to kiss his [Pope Valentine] feet with respect and great restraint.

Article X: His name alone shall be spoken in the churches.

Council of Vaison, Canon IV:

It also seemed right to us that the name of the Lord Pope, who at the time will preside over the Apostolic See, be mentioned in our churches.

Article XI: This is the only name in the world.

Follows logically from articles II and X when understood properly.

Article XII: It may be permitted to him to depose emperors.

From the Life of Charlemagne by Einhard the Stammerer:

But Pippin, after he was made King instead of Mayor of the Franks by the authority of Roman Pontiff, exercised sole rule over the Franks for fifteen years…

And Pope Hadrian’s letter to Lotharingia to support the ascent of Louis II:

Therefore, with the apostolic trumpet we warn and with celestial authority we advise Your Loves, most beloved of the Lord's Son, that for the stability of the realm you should now generally take great care to act in all matters concerning our most beloved and spiritual son, the august lord emperor Louis, with the same faith and sincerity of mind which you preserved in your pure hearts for the former emperor Lothar I his father. May no mortal man, no matter what his dignity or glory, be able to call you back by any means or argument from the precept and healthy counsel of the apostolic see, or turn you aside from the path of truth. Nor may you hasten to listen eagerly to anyone's precepts more than to those of the Apostle Peter, pronounced by our lips, which are more useful to you.

This article also flows logically from the breakdown of Pope Saint Leo and Pope Saint Gelasius’ remarks above.

Article XIII: It may be permitted to him to transfer bishops, if need be.

Gerbert of Aurillac was Bishop of Rheims before being deposed by Pope John XV. He was then made Bishop of Revenna by Pope Gregory V shortly before he himself was elected to the papacy as Sylvester II. This sort of thing was common, particularly in France and and Isles.

Article XIV: He has the power to ordain the clerk of any parish he wishes.

Fr. Richard Price summarizes Letter 9 from Pope Saint Martin in his Acts of the Lateran Synod of 649:

To the churches of Jerusalem and Antioch (PL 87. 175-9). Martin communicates the substance of the synod's decrees - its dyenergist and dyothelete definitions and its condemnation of Sergius, Pyrrhus and Paul of Constantinople. Those addressed are the bishops, clergy, monks and laity of the patriarchates of Jerusalem and Antioch, since (as the letter states) Martin refused to recognise the two oriental patriarchs at this date loyal to Chalcedon (Macedonius of Antioch and Peter of Alexandria, both probably resident in Constantinople) because of their acceptance of the Typos; this he gives as the grounds for his mandating John of Philadelphia, as his representative, to ordain bishops and priests.

This Synod was upheld ecumenically at Constantinople III.

Article XV: He who is ordained by the Pope may preside over another church, but may not hold a subordinate position. Such a person may not receive a higher clerical grade from any other bishop.

Origen’s ordination, and the subsequent crashout of Patriarch Demetrius, proves this if the previous articles are correct.

Article XVI: No synod shall be called a 'General Synod' without his order.

Second Council of Nicaea:

and, moreover, I should demand that an Ecumenical Council should be held, at which should be found Legates from the Pope of Rome and from the Chief Priests of the East.

Article XVII: No chapter and no book shall be considered canonical without his authority.

Canon XXI of the Synod of Tours:

Which among the bishops would dare go against the decretals issued by the Apostolic See? [...] And whose preaching can carry authority, if not those whom the Apostolic See has always received or has not counted among the apocrypha? Our Fathers have always observed what the authority of these men prescribed. Therefore we too, following in their footsteps, decree to observe hat both the Apostle Paul and Pope Innocent have prescribed, inserting it into our canons: namely, that no one may dare to take away, seize, or marry either a virgin consecrated to God, or a widow, or a young girl who has changed her clothing in honor of Christ.

Article XVIII: A sentence passed by him may be retracted by no one. He alone may retract it.

Pope Saint Leo the Great’s annulment of Canon XXVIII at Chalcedon:

As for the resolution of the bishops which is contrary to the Nicene decree, in union with your faithful piety, I declare it to be invalid and annul it by the authority of the holy apostle Peter

The Bishops at Chalcedon:

After the reading of the foregoing epistle [The Tome of Leo], the most reverend bishops cried out: ‘This is the faith of the fathers! This is the faith of the apostles! So we all believe! Thus the orthodox believe! Anathema to him who does not thus believe! Peter has spoken thus through Leo! . . . This is the true faith! Those of us who are orthodox thus believe! This is the faith of the Fathers!

Article XIX: He himself may be judged by no one.

Pope Saint Nicholas I writing to the Emperor Michael III:

Furthermore, if you do not listen to us [Rome], it remains that you be held by us as our Lord Jesus Christ enjoins us to hold those who refuse to hear the Church of God; especially since the privileges of the Roman Church confirmed in St. Peter by the words of Christ, ordained in the Church itself, observed from of old, proclaimed by the holy universal synods and ever venerated by the whole Church, can by no means be diminished, infringed, or altered, since no effort of man has power to remove a foundation which God has laid, and what God has established stands firm and unshakable…These privileges, then, were bestowed on this holy Church by Christ: they were not bestowed by the Synod but were merely proclaimed and held in veneration by them...it is immediately clear that the judgments of the Apostolic See, than which there is no greater authority, cannot be handled by any other tribunal, nor is it permissible for any to sit in judgement upon its decision…

And Pope Saint Gelasius from the Patralogia Latina:

and thus he [the Pope] judges the whole Church and himself stands before no tribunal and no judgment can be passed on his judgment, nor can his decision be abrogated

Article XX: No one shall dare to condemn any person who appeals to the Apostolic Chair.

This follows logically from even the appellate jurisdiction granted to Rome by eastern orthodox historians and apologists. Famous examples of this are Ss Athanasius and Peter of Alexandria, Saint Jerome, Saint Maximus the Confessor, and many others.

Article XXI: The more important cases of every church should be referred to the Apostolic See.

Ibid.

Article XXII: The Roman Church has never erred. Nor will it err, to all eternity - Scripture being witness.

We see this attested to no less than 3 times in the same letter of Pope Saint Agatho to the Third Council of Constantinople:

For this is the rule of the true faith, which this spiritual mother of your most tranquil empire, the Apostolic Church of Christ, has both in prosperity and in adversity always held and defended with energy; which, it will be proved, by the grace of Almighty God, has never erred from the path of the apostolic tradition, nor has she been depraved by yielding to heretical innovations, but from the beginning she has received the Christian faith from her founders, the princes of the Apostles of Christ, and remains undefiled unto the end, according to the divine promise of the Lord and Saviour himself, which he uttered in the holy Gospels to the prince of his disciples: saying, Peter, Peter, behold, Satan has desired to have you, that he might sift you as wheat; but I have prayed for you, that (your) faith fail not. And when you are converted, strengthen your brethren. Let your tranquil Clemency therefore consider, since it is the Lord and Saviour of all, whose faith it is, that promised that Peter's faith should not fail and exhorted him to strengthen his brethren, how it is known to all that the Apostolic pontiffs, the predecessors of my littleness, have always confidently done this very thing: of whom also our littleness, since I have received this ministry by divine designation, wishes to be the follower, although unequal to them and the least of all.

…because the true confession thereof for which Peter was pronounced blessed by the Lord of all things, was revealed by the Father of heaven, for he received from the Redeemer of all himself, by three commendations, the duty of feeding the spiritual sheep of the Church; under whose protecting shield, this Apostolic Church of his has never turned away from the path of truth in any direction of error, whose authority, as that of the Prince of all the Apostles, the whole Catholic Church, and the Ecumenical Synods have faithfully embraced, and followed in all things; and all the venerable Fathers have embraced its Apostolic doctrine, through which they as the most approved luminaries of the Church of Christ have shone; and the holy orthodox doctors have venerated and followed it, while the heretics have pursued it with false criminations and with derogatory hatred.

Therefore the Holy Church of God, the mother of your most Christian power, should be delivered and liberated with all your might (through the help of God) from the errors of such teachers, and the evangelical and apostolic uprightness of the orthodox faith, which has been established upon the firm rock of this Church of blessed Peter, the Prince of the Apostles, which by his grace and guardianship remains free from all error, [that faith I say] the whole number of rulers and priests, of the clergy and of the people, unanimously should confess and preach with us as the true declaration of the Apostolic tradition, in order to please God and to save their own souls.

Article XXIII: The Roman Pontiff, if he has been canonically ordained, is undoubtedly made a saint by the merits of St. Peter, St. Ennodius Bishop of Pavia bearing witness, and many holy fathers agreeing with him. As it is contained in the decrees of Pope St. Symmachus.

This is the only article I think is actually incorrect, unless we add in the caveat of “without any impediments of mortal sin” as I have seen some do but I believe that goes against the spirit of the article. I believe this is based on the Symmachean forgeries and I have no document saying as much from Saint Ennodius.

Article XXIV: By his command and consent, it may be lawful for subordinates to bring accusations.

This is just true.

Article XXV: He may depose and reinstate bishops without assembling a Synod.

Refer back to Article III.

Article XXVI: He who is not at peace with the Roman Church shall not be considered 'catholic'.

This is most notably seen in the writings of Saint Optatus against the Donatists:

So we have proved that the Catholic Church is the Church spread throughout the world. We must now mention its adornments…

and further:

...and see where are its five endowments, among which the cathedra is the first, and since the second endowment, which is the angelus, cannot be added unless a Bishop has sat on the cathedra, we must see who was the first to sit on the cathedra, and where he sat. If you don't know this, learn. If you do know, blush. Ignorance cannot be attributed to you — it follows that you know. For one who knows, to err is sin. Those who do not know may sometimes be pardoned. You cannot deny that you do know that upon Peter, first, in the city of Rome, was bestowed the episcopal cathedra, on which Peter sat, the Head of all the Apostles, that, in this one cathedra unity should be preserved by all, lest the other Apostles might claim - each for himself- separate cathedras, so that he who should set up a second cathedra against the unique cathedra would already be a schismatic and a sinner. Well then, on the one cathedra, which is the first of the endowments, Peter was the first to sit"

Article XXVII: He may absolve subjects from their fealty to wicked men.

It was difficult to find a direct example of this because in an any instance where this would be applicable, the Bishop of Rome would excommunicate or depose the authority figures in question; whether that be bishops, patriarchs, or sexular rulers as laid out in previous articles. The case of Saint Jerome taking refuge under Pope Saint Damasus is the closest direct example I could find with my cursory research. Another may be the letters to the Lotharingian nobles. In any case, I will leave this excerpt from Sozomen’s Ecclesiastical History:

...the Bishop of Rome, having investigated into the accusations of each [Athanasius, Paul of Cple, Marcellus of Ancyra, & Asclepas of Gaza), found them all agreeing with the Nicene synod, admitted them to communion, as agreeing with him. And insofar as the care of the universal church belonged to Pope Julius on account of the rank of his see, he restored each to his respective Church

Closing thoughts:

This is not meant to be a perfectly exhaustive list, it was merely my attempt at providing an individual example for each of the claims made. The length of the list and my own limitations prevent me from doing a more thorough treatment. Perhaps I will attempt something more comprehensive later on. Thank you for reading.

happy neil banging out the tunes

Once upon a time I worked in this little burger/coffee/ice cream shop and a lady came in one winter and asked if we had a caramel apple drink and we were like ‘well we have cider’ and she was like ‘no I don’t remember what it’s called but this place made a drink that was chai tea, apple cider, and caramel’ and Breezy offered to try and make something for her but she changed her mind and left so Breezy and I were like ‘alright let’s try this’ because we had chai tea, instant cider mix, a shit ton of caramel, instant hot water from the espresso and too much free time. 

And let me tell you it was delightful. It tastes like watching the leaves changing color and dancing in the wind. It tastes like picking out pumpkins and gourds and fresh apples at the farm up north. It tastes like witches and freedom.

I make it every year now and this year I walked in the house on the morning of October first with all the ingredients and shouted ‘FALL DRINK’ and my roommates were like ‘????’ so I made them Fall Drink and now every time they get home from work they’re like ‘Fall Drink pls?????’

Anyway I remember literally nothing else about that woman but I’m very grateful to her. 

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

Pirate all your favorite shows, movies, and games while you still have the chance.

Executive Dysfunction Study Tips

(compiled by us, for us; not a comprehensive list by any means, just the ones that work well of our brain specifically)

dress in a Nice Outfit for the Aesthetic. Studying in slacks and a button-down or knit sweater or similar with a mug of tea has completely different vibes (and much more productive ones) than studying in pajamas, even if the clothes aren’t as comfortable. Besides, the faster we get work done, the faster we can change into Comfy Clothes and relax. 

in a similar vein, Beverage + Studying Music. Our go-to is corn tea and the LoZ ocarina of time soundtrack. lyrical music is fine for doing calculations, but for essays its instrumental only since the lyrics can fuck with the writing process. 

make that grid of everything you need to do from this post, with Check Boxes next to each thing for Checking Things Off (or you can cross them out if that’s more satisfying). Also gives an order and instruction for Starting The Thing which is usually the hardest part.

Imitate School Environment with “periods”, AKA studying for 40 minutes with a 5-10 minute “passing period” in-between, in which getting up and walking around is required. do not do “fun stuff” (reading/YouTube/etc) during passing period, or getting brain back on task will be Hell. our brain works best with a clear structure. Also, Set Alarms.

SNACKS!! snacks that are crumb free and don’t disturb the working process are best. I like pumpkin seeds, smoked salmon, apple/pear/peach/etc slices, cheese, and similar. washed bowls of fruit (grapes, cherries, strawberries, etc) make my fingers wet every time I eat them which is inconvenient, and I can’t eat most junk foods for allergy/health reasons (+ grease, cheese dust, etc are similarly impractical)

from this post, “make timelapses on your phone of u doing your work” providing the exact amount of Nervous Energy from being “watched” to be productive, without the anxiety of being criticized from having someone actually watch you. For an extra kick, actually post them to YT. 

have Separate Windows open for studying vs for fun stuff. I usually have three windows open on my laptop at all times – one for YT/reading (relaxing stuff), one for studying, and one for writing. 

set a Consistent Time To Work and Time To Stop Working, because brain stop working late at night when get tired, but brain also no work as soon as we get home from class, because we’re exhausted and need to take a break + eat first. 

in a similar vein, have a Work Time Ritual to get brain in the mood. Do the same thing every time its time to work so that you can pavlov yourself. For example, having a glass of water and and doing five jumping jacks, taking a shower, or getting changed into Studying Clothes. ADHD brain hates Transition Between Activities and also Starting Task so make it fun or relaxing. 

finally and most important!!!! sleep well, eat well, and when its time to stop working (NOT when work is done, but when its Time To Stop), take a break and do something relaxing. Work on hobby or lie in bed and read fanfiction. We don’t work past 10:00PM and we aren’t out of bed past 11:00PM. aint nothing going to get done if your body isn’t in a shape to get it done. As a system, sometimes we can see the body as a tool/instrument/machine separate from the mind/identity/personality, and you gotta keep that shit well-maintained or its gonna break down on you and you’ll have to take it to the repair shop. 

A lot of people don’t believe me when I say that I’ve only been sewing for a little over 3 years. Previous to that I had only really ever sewn plushies, pajama pants or pillows during Guide Guide workshops aka I could put fabric through a machine and sew in (sort of) straight lines but not much else. I had never used a clothing pattern before, I had never used anything other than a basic straight stitch, and I had never bought fabric. October 2012 was the first time I ever sewed any garments completely from scratch and those were my Fushimi from [K] vest and coat and now this October (2015) I will be competing at the Master’s level for cosplay craftsmanship. So I figured I’d give a short rundown of how I taught myself how to sew and how I improved.

1) I watched a lot of Project Runway (the earlier seasons… Annnndreeee, where is Annnndreee?). While this didn’t help much in actual sewing, it got me familiar with a whole lot of terminology and types of fabric and outfits. Plus it also showed me where people tended to take shortcuts and when those shortcuts tended to fail. 

2) I got a very basic sewing machine and I READ THE ENTIRE USER MANUAL. I started off on a Singer Simple which was a gift from my parents (who actually bought it 2 years earlier but never gave it to me thinking I’d never use it… HA!) and I went through every single English page of that user manual. I became familiar with all the parts of my machine, how to thread it, how to change bobbins, how to clean it, how to fix jams, all the different stitch types, and I practiced sewing a bunch of random stitches on scrap pieces of fabric just to see what they looked like and how they changed when I changed different tension settings.

3) I got a basic sewing book (from like 1965… it’d probably better to get an updated/current book) that acted as a glossary of sewing terms. I had no idea what 50% of the stitches I needed to use were called so this became very useful later when I bought my first pattern.

4) I bought my first patterns and chose something fairly simple to start off with which was a lined vest (followed by an immensely more difficult jacket). I went with Simiplicity patterns after doing a lot of googling for the most new-user-friendly patterns.

5) Then I FOLLOWED THE PATTERN INSTRUCTIONS. It seems like an obvious step but even now I sometimes skip a step and then later regret it. Everything the pattern said I needed, I bought. I bought the specific types of fabric, interfacing, thread, buttons, I did not deviate from their suggestions for the first trial run. Then I read through the pattern instructions, cut out all the corresponding pieces for my size and got to work. The key was to work slowly and re-read things as I went. I also used my sewing book and google to help better explain some of the instructions that were not 100% clear to me just starting out. I also looked up youtube video tutorials on how to iron seams, sew darts, properly clip curved edges, sew button holes, and finish inside seams. Research, research, research!

6) To re-iterate: TAKE YOUR TIME. Slow and steady wins the race. It took me probably a solid 4 days to sew a very simple vest that would probably take me maybe a couple hours now but damn it was one of the cleanest looking vests I had ever sewn. I made sure not to rush anything and gave myself lots of time.

7) I kept practicing. The more I sewed, the more familiar I became with how garments were put together and where I could change things to better fit my size or how to alter things to better fit the garment I was trying to create. I experimented whenever I could on scrap fabric to see what would and would not work for stitching and ironing.

3 years later and I can now draft my own patterns and sew dozens of different types of garments with dozens of fabric types. I would attribute 90% of my learning experience to taking it slow at first and researching as I went. I didn’t allow any guesswork on the first couple of projects I worked on because how would I ever learn if I didn’t look into how something was properly done? Google, youtube, tutorial blogs (wink wink), reference books, and pattern instructions are you friends, do not take them for granted. 

Pictured at the top on the left is the first Kirishiki vest I (rush) sewed in July 2012 without following instructions and trying to do it myself. The vest on the right is from December 2012 after I decided to take my time and follow instructions and actually learn while I was sewing. You can improve 100% just by taking your time, doing some research and following the instructions.

Bonus: What I bought for my sewing starter kit

A green rotary/cutting mat. They can be really expensive but I have been using my large mat for 3 years straight and it works wonders at not only protecting the surface you are working on, but giving you a nice sturdy pinning and cutting surface that is self-healing and doesn’t get destroyed by pins and exacto knives.

1 large and 1 small pair of orange handled sewing scissors.

A 6" x 24" clear sewing ruler.

A pack of white/blue fabric pencils.

A box of standard pins, plus a pin cushion.

A pack of extra bobbins.

A pack of standard sewing needles for hand-sewing.

A pack of standard sewing needles for my machine.

An iron and mini ironing board. 

Happy sewing!

-Heather

I have an essay brewing in my head constantly about lawns. Which, well, unsurprising, since I post about how I hate lawns all the time, but I think the "lawn" and "landscaping" centered way of thinking about Places Outside is a Bigger Thing that Connects to Other Things

(What isn't? Having ideas about concepts is always like this.)

I will introduce my ideas by a situation where they apply: Sometimes life-forms mimic other life forms. One form of mimicry is called Vavilovian mimicry, where weed species in crops grown by humans evolve over time to be more similar to the crops.

Vavilovian mimicry basically helps weeds survive because the weeds are adapted to the care-taking regimen of the crops, and because the human caretakers of the crop can have a hard time telling them apart, which means they might say "Ehh...I'll wait until it grows up so I can be sure I'm not pulling up my crop."

I think there's something similar at work among flower gardens and landscaping...but it's different.

Regular people don't know the name of every plant that might possibly grow in their flower beds, and they often pull up plants they don't know just because they don't know them. They sometimes say they pull up a plant that "looks weedy" or "looks like a weed."

I think to myself...what does "weedy" look like?

This question collided unexpectedly in my brain with an insight I had about invasive species that I could not explain.

I have to get rid of a lot of Callery pear, wintercreeper, honeysuckle, burningbush, privet, English ivy, and other plants that are invasive where I live. And strangely- many invasive plants look similar in ways they don't share with very many native species. They tend to have small, round or squat, glossy leaves, and they tend to have a very dense growth habit.

I can think of several possible explanations: Maybe these species thrive in North America today because of the loss of controlled burning, but their characteristics look so distinct next to native species because they relate to things that would make a species fire-intolerant? This doesn't seem quite right, since it doesn't predict level of fire-adaptedness in native species.

Another explanation is better: they were selected for these traits by humans for their usefulness in landscaping. Dense growth habit would be useful for creating hedges or ground covers. This is why many invasives were originally planted, right? And small leaves might feel or be perceived as less "messy" when they fall.

But I think this is a clue to something else going on. What does "weedy" look like?

Some plants go on one side of "weeds vs. flowers" and some on the other, and it's almost totally arbitrary...so how do gardeners make the call so decisively?

I think about the commonest "landscaping" plants- Knock Out roses, hostas, petunias, begonias, boxwoods and so on- they share a lot of the characteristics mentioned above. Shiny or at least smooth, typically small and squat leaves, dense and compact growth habit.

Then I think about some of the commonest and most important "weedy" native wildflowers, such as goldenrods, asters, milkweeds, Joe-Pye weed, ironweed, sunflower. They all differ from the above in at least one striking way. Mostly, they have hairy leaves and stems, long and thin leaves, and a tendency to grow up tall before blooming. Milkweed has smooth leaves, but its leaves are long and very big. Hmm...

And I think I can guess where this is coming from.

Landscaping and garden designs often look like this

See how the plants are drawn and arranged to cover a space in two dimensions, mostly not overlapping with each other? This is very easy to plan and design. And those common landscaping plants I mentioned—hostas, Knock Out roses, boxwoods, and so on—are very good at acting just like a two-dimensional representation of them does. Just look, you can see them:

Now look at those important native wildflowers I mentioned:

Goldenrod

Ironweed

Milkweed

These guys don't fill much space in a horizontal plane, they go straight up. They don't exclude other plants from very much space either. Plants could grow under them and among them. So they're not very good for "filling up" space, and their opener, lankier, less dense shape doesn't do a good job at blocking other plants from growing.

In a garden of North American prairie- or meadow-adapted plants, the plants wouldn't exclude each other and stay within their designated spots because they're evolved to intermix with a great variety of plants.

"Separateness" is a big part of the typical "landscape" aesthetic. These plants are very neatly separate from each other. This is what looks "neat" and well-kept to us...the opposite of "weedy."

This could mean our garden and flower beds are affected by a selective pressure a lot like the Vavilovian mimicry situation. But instead of weeds being selected to look like intentionally grown plants, the intentionally grown plants are being selected to look different from weeds.

The subtle difference makes perfect sense. In a field, the rule is "leave the plant there if you're unsure" because that's your food. In a flower bed, the rule is "get rid of the plant if you're unsure" because having weeds is more aesthetically unacceptable than having blank space.

The point is: Ecology needs to be a big part of gardening and landscaping, because you are DOING ecology. Even if you don't know the evolutionary principles, you're acting them out.

Just like the ineffable preferences of female birds give the males weird elaborate display structures, ineffable aesthetic "senses" that govern our "built" world slowly turn it into something weird.