WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE | HAITANI BROTHERS

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: being part of a stepfamily was difficult, but not for the reasons you had initially thought. the issues rose not in your stepmother, but in your new brothers instead.

warnings: fem!reader, dom!ran, mean!ran, dom!rindou, sub!reader, inexperienced!reader, stepcest, face fucking, ran’s a bit creepy at first ngl, corruption/kind of predator vs prey, kind of manipulative!ran, accidental noncon voyeurism, mentioned/taken prescribed sleeping pills, age gap (21/22 -> 30/31), humiliation, degradation, edging/orgasm denial, fingering, ran has an absolutely filthy mouth, pet names (doll, good girl, princess but only mockingly), dumbification, ran calls rindou a “sister-fucker” mockingly also brings up the fact that they’re siblings several times to taunt reader and rindou

wordcount: ... 16k don't let it flop :') pls

Notes: for tee’s stepcest collab and eris and abby's corruption collab @hanmas @kxeyas @munsonsins

taglist: @manjiroscum @mxnjiros @dxlucs @suyacho @meowdarame @semisgroupie @tokyometronetwork @muchoccino

“Mom got a new husband,” Ran announced as he walked into the vast lounge on the top floor of Bonten’s headquarters, stuffing his phone into the back pocket of his slacks and circling his glass, watching as the amber liquid sloshed to the top before settling back down. His feet dragged against the wood as he made his way toward where Rindou was reclined back on one of the dark couches, one arm thrown over the back as he tilted his head toward Ran, clicking his tongue sharply.

“Again?” Rindou asked, lips turned down and brows furrowed, just as displeased as Ran expected he would be. Rindou rolled his eyes when Ran nodded, downing the rest of his glass of whiskey before leaning forward and pouring himself another. “This is her third this year. You’d think she’d get sick of having to find a new wedding dress every couple months.”

Ran snorted, leaning against the wall next to the couch, taking a sip of his own drink, “I think that’s her favorite part,” he noted, sparing one last glance toward his younger brother as he laid back against the couch again, feet propped on the ebony table in front of the couch as he scrolled through his phone, lighting up another joint, unbothered by the news.

Ran drew his gaze from his brother toward the floor-to-ceiling windows looking over Roppongi. The sun was setting already, the building casting an eerie shadow over the streets, the cars were beginning to thin out on the busy roads as people returned to their homes after work for dinner. His thoughts ran amok as he considered his mother’s words, trying to figure out the best way of conveying them to Rindou before he finally decided to just come out with it.

“Mom wants us to meet him,” Ran said simply, ignoring how Rindou choked over the smoke he had inhaled, head snapping to the side to look at Ran. Ran only stared ahead, eyes following a plane headed west from the city.

“Meet him?” Rindou demanded, tone laced with disbelief, “She’s never made us meet any of them before. She’s run through like twelve different guys and never asked us to come meet them.”

Ran shrugged, head dropping to the side to meet Rindou’s wide-eyed gaze, “She says she really likes him, thinks we’ll get along.”

Rindou snorted loudly, “I doubt that,” he said but Ran could see from the way that Rindou’s jaw was tight and his nostrils were flared that he was unhappy with the sudden turn of events and Ran couldn’t say he blamed him. They did not have good experiences with the men that their mother brought into their lives--from their biological father right up until the last man that their mother had forced them to meet when they were in their early twenties.

Rindou let out a frustrated noise, inhaling another puff of smoke before tilting his head back and exhaling, letting his eyes slide shut, “When’s she want us to meet him?”

Ran bit down on his tongue for a moment, letting out a soft breath. “Now,” he said. Rindou’s eyes shot back open.

“You’re fuckin’ with me,” Rindou said unhappily but Ran only gave him a wry smile.

“I wish,” he said dryly, “She was insistent about it too. Says we haven’t even come to visit her in two months, the least we could do is come now.”

Rindou rolled his eyes so hard that Ran swore it must have hurt, “How mad will she be if we don’t show?” he muttered.

“On a scale of Fiji to Oslo?” Ran asked, tilting his head to rest against the wall. He noticed Rindou nod from the corner of his eye, “Definitely leaning Oslo. She already sounded pissed.”

“Fuckin’ bullshit,” Rindou put his glass back down onto the table, rising to his feet, looking back at Ran, “You’re driving.”

“And you’re changing,” Ran muttered, eyeing the bloodstained white button-up Rindou was wearing, “Go change out of that. I’ll go start up the car.”

---

There was a car in the driveway, your fingers twitched at your sides as you stood from your vanity, trying to get a better look out the window. You couldn’t tell who had shown up at the house--whoever it was must have come into the house while you were still getting dressed and drying your hair after your shower.

You took in a shaky breath, eyes darting down to your phone. There were no new messages from your father or your new step-mother telling you who had stopped by and you bit your bottom lip, glancing at the glass of water sat atop your nightstand.

You had to go to the kitchen to get your sleeping pills, your father didn’t let you keep them in your room--they were in the kitchen cabinet, past the sitting room, and if there really were guests over, you had no doubt that that’s exactly where they’d all be.

Anxiety ate at your stomach, your gaze flicked to the clock. It was getting late already and you had to be up for classes the next morning. You wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night if you didn’t take your pills, and if you took your pills any later, you’d sleep through your alarms.

You briefly shut your eyes, letting out a long exhale as you made your decision.

Fuck.

You grimaced as you stepped into your slippers, tugging down your silk shorts as you left your bedroom, arms wrapped around your torso. The halls were long and decorated with old, expensive paintings and antiques, the lights above were dim and flickering as a storm rattled the windows.

Mrs. Haitani was old money—your father was wealthy, yes, but the more you hung around with your new step-mother, the more you realized how vastly different her lifestyle was compared to the one you were used to. From spending habits right down to the way she talked and dressed, sometimes you genuinely believed Mrs. Haitani was from another world altogether despite technically being in similar class brackets.

And she was nice, you supposed, if not a bit pretentious. She doted on you like she would her own daughter, bringing you out to brunches, out shopping, gossiping with you over boys at your university.

She had always wanted a daughter, she would tell you but her first husband passed away before they could try again, and by the time she finally started dating around again, she was too old to have any more kids no matter how hard she tried.

She was older than your father—by a good twenty years, even if she didn’t look it—when he had first told you about her, you had been unhappy because it felt like he was trying to replace your mother. But you supposed that of all the women that your father could have remarried, Mrs. Haitani certainly wasn’t the worst pick.

You turned down another hallway. In the distance, you could hear voices talking—your father, Mrs. Haitani, and two unfamiliar male voices. You let out a shaky exhale, arms tightening around your torso.

In and out, walk through the room to the kitchen, get your pills, and leave.

You stepped into the large sitting room and immediately four gazes were on you. You felt sick, you had never been good with people, especially new people.

Mrs. Haitani smiled bright when she saw you, leaning against your father, curled up at his side. She called your name happily, “C’mere,” she said, “I want you to meet my sons.”

Your mouth was dry as your gaze flickered over to the two men sitting in one of the sofas—sharp lavender eyes, dark button-ups and slacks, sleeves rolled up above the forearms revealing matching tattoos on opposite sides.

The one with longer hair looked distinctly unimpressed, lounged back into the red cushions as he took one short look at you before returning to conversation with your father. The shorter-haired one, on the other hand, leaned forward, a sort of interest sparking in his eyes that had your hair on end.

“Haitani Ran,” he greeted smoothly, a warm smile tugging at his lips that would have lulled you into a sense of security had you not caught the calculating look in his eyes a second prior. He held his hand out to you and you hesitated before placing your hand in his, the cool metal of his rings sending a shiver down your spine. You prayed he didn’t notice how your fingers were trembling. From the way his smile widened and his grip on your hand tightened firmly, you knew your prayers went unanswered.

You swallowed thickly as you introduced yourself, pulling your hand away and letting it drop back at your side. Ran’s eyes glittered in amusement, teeth gleaming under the light of the room as he glanced at the longer-haired man, “Rindou, don’t be rude.”

Rindou rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and back to look at you again. You caught sight of the tattoo decorating his throat, a simple hanafuda design, “Rindou,” he introduced, eyeing you briefly from the corner of his eye as he turned back to your father.

Ran clicked his tongue in annoyance, eyes flashing cold for just a moment as looked down at Rindou before returning his attention to you. Your head tilted to the side in curiosity when you noticed that Ran had a matching tattoo on his throat.

“Why don’t you sit with us for a bit?” your father said, motioning to the armchair next to where he and Mrs. Haitani were sitting. “You guys should get to know each other, you’re family now, you know?”

The words didn’t not sit right with you. An uncomfortable feeling spreading throughout your chest at your father’s words, glancing back at Rindou and Ran once before shaking your head.

“No, dad,” you said quietly, “I only came down to get my pills. I have class in the morning.”

Your father opened his mouth to protest but before he could say anything, you turned your attention back toward Haitani Ran and Haitani Rindou. Rindou met your eyes for half a second before looking down at his phone while Ran kept his eyes on you. You shifted uncomfortably beneath his sharp gaze, “Nice meeting you,” you said half-heartedly, not entirely meaning it.

Rindou didn’t respond, Ran’s lips ticked up into a small, sly smile--one that you liked even less than the warm, artificial one. “Nice to meet you too,” he murmured.

You forced your gaze off him, a strange and unwelcome feeling stirring in you before you bid goodnight to your father and Mrs. Haitani, disappearing down into the kitchen, intent on grabbing your pills, returning to your room and going to sleep. You had a big day of presentations for your government class tomorrow, and the last thing you needed was for this to rattle you after you had been prepping all day.

It wasn’t like they’d be around often anyway, this was the first time you’d heard of them except for the pictures Mrs. Haitani had set up around the house from when they were younger. You were sure that they’d disappear again after tonight, so it was best to just push them from your mind.

Right?

---

“You’re a fuckin’ creep, y’know that?”

Ran raised his eyebrows, not even bothering to turn toward Rindou as he heard his brother approach from behind, eyes trained on you instead, watching as you shifted beneath your sheets, dead to the world.

“How you gonna explain this if she wakes up, hm?” Rindou continued, and Ran only rolled his eyes.

He turned his head over his shoulder from where he was leaning against the doorframe of your room, shooting his brother an annoyed, lazy look. With two fingers, he lifted the bottle of pills he had found in the kitchen cabinet prescribed to your name before flicking it over to Rindou. Rindou caught it easily, frowning as he read the prescription before scoffing, tossing it right back to Ran.

“She won’t be up for a while,” Ran grinned at Rindou before turning his attention back toward you, eyes lidded as he considered your sleeping form.

“I don’t get it,” Rindou shook his head, standing half-behind Ran as he eyed you for a moment before turning his attention back to Ran, waiting for him to explain. Ran ignored him. “Hello?” Rindou demanded, “I’m talking to you.”

“Yes, I know,” Ran said dryly, “I am ignoring you.”

Rindou gaped, face twisting in annoyance but Ran tuned him out as he spit a volley of irritated curses at Ran. Though Ran supposed he wasn’t ignoring him to be annoying, he didn’t really know the answer to his implied question. He wasn’t sure what it was about you that was drawing him in.

And it wasn’t like this happened often with Ran. If anything, it was always the opposite. Women were drawn to him and he took advantage of it--whether it was for trying to subtly gather information for Bonten or just for an easy fuck, Ran was never the one that was captivated by someone but…

He let out a breath, tilting his head to the side as he watched you shift in bed again, soft puffs of air escaping your lips, covers half-thrown off, strewn across the bed haphazardly. He could see your chest rising and falling with every breath in and out, the way your button-up pajamas had come half-undone in your sleep.

Sister, you were technically their sister now, weren’t you? he considered, unable to draw his eyes from you. Maybe that was why he couldn’t seem to get his mind off of you. Throughout all of their mother’s marriages, they never had a step-sibling before. It had always just been him and Rindou.

But even as the thought crossed through his mind, he knew it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t just interest because of the fact your father had married his mother. It was something else--but what?

Maybe it was your innocence? he thought as his eyes searched your sleeping form for an answer. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, eyes darkening. He supposed there was just something about the way you came down your hall in silk pajamas, arms wrapped nervously around your stomach, eyes darting around like a cornered animal, that had his blood running hot.

You were younger than them--your father had mentioned that you were still in college, and his mother had implied that your father had kept you rather sheltered. Ran had not a single doubt about that, your eyes were still wide and bright, unlike most of the other women that Ran usually encountered around the clubs in Roppongi, who became jaded and empty-eyed over the years. It had been a long time since he’d come across someone who hasn’t been made dull and apathetic by the realities of the world and…

And Ran wanted to fucking ruin you.

“Don’t fuck this up for mom,” Rindou said sharply as if he could read Ran’s mind. Maybe he could, Ran considered as he forced his gaze from you back to him, frowning. “Don’t look at me like that, you saw her with the new guy. She really seems to like him. Don’t be fuckin’ gross and try to fuck with his daughter.”

“She always seems to like the new guys at first,” Ran dismissed and Rindou let out a frustrated breath at Ran’s blatant way of ignoring Rindou’s main point. “She’s pretty.”

It was an innocuous comment--a lot tamer than anything else Ran could have said watching your shirt ride up your stomach--but Rindou’s lips still twisted in disgust, “You’re disgusting,” he said, “Mom married her father, she’s technically our fuckin’ sister, Ran, c’mon.”

“Not by blood,” Ran grinned, winking at Rindou, who only looked even more disgusted at Ran’s words, “You’re gonna switch up,” Ran said firmly, ignoring how Rindou let out a ‘yeah, sure’, “and when you do, ‘m not gonna let you hear the end of it.”

“Fuck off,” Rindou said half-heartedly. “I’m going back to bed. Stop fucking staring at her, it’s creepy.”

“Whatever,” Ran said, waving his hand, sparing you one last look as you let out a soft hum in your sleep. His mouth went dry when he noticed that your blankets had slipped off your leg, revealing your skin all the way up to your thighs.

“Ran,” Rindou said sharply, and Ran rolled his eyes, finally ripping his eyes off of you to quietly shut the door behind him, “Don’t.”

Ran only smiled, “Relax,” he murmured, mind already whirring as plans bounced around his head, “I wouldn’t do anything she doesn’t want.”

---

You let out a frustrated breath as you looked down at the wires in your hand and then back up at the television, unable to figure out which cord you had plugged in wrong. You were exhausted, and your body was sore from working out, and you just wanted to lay down on the couch and binge the latest season of your favorite show. Why your father had decided to unplug the television before leaving for work was a mystery to you, you had heard him complaining about the picture being more static than usual and calling an electrician over to look at it after having fiddled with it for an hour and giving up.

He could have at least put it back the way it was before he fucked around with it, you thought to yourself. But knowing your father, he didn’t know how to put it back the way he had found it.

You grit your teeth as you looked between the wires and television again, going in for the fifth attempt. As you fiddled with the wires, you heard the shower water turn off in the distance. You frowned, instantly shooting a suspicious look in the direction of the bathroom.

The brothers had been around more often since the night they had shown up a few days ago—Ran, in particular. You didn’t know why—they had claimed to their mother that it was because they hadn’t seen her too often over the past year but you had a feeling that the excuse was not the real reason.

The number of times you had come home to Rindou smoking a joint by the pool or Ran wandering around shirtless after a shower, tattoos broad on display, was ridiculous, really. You hated how nervous the two of them made you, you hated how Rindou would barely spare you a glance even when you tried to say hi to him, and you hated how Ran was so touchy with you and you hated even more the part of you that couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

They had you on edge—both of them did, albeit for different reasons.

“Need help?” your eyes widened as you turned your head to the side, eyes catching sight of Ran leaning up against the wall next to the fireplace, towel hanging low on his waist and another towel draped around his shoulders. Your mouth was dry as your gaze darted down, just as it always did whenever you caught him walking around shirtless, dipping down and tracing his tattoos right to his v-line before you went hot, realizing what you were doing and looking back up. He raised his eyebrows, the smirk on his face very telling of the fact he knew exactly what you were looking at.

Your face heated up in humiliation, you tried to remember what he had asked.

Help, he had asked if you needed help.

Your eyes darted between him and the television that you just couldn’t seem to hook up correctly--you wondered how long he had been standing there watching you struggle with it before he finally spoke up. You weren’t sure how long you had been lost in thought. Silently, you cursed your father yet again for unplugging it before he left for work.

You didn’t want to ask him for help, there was something about Mrs. Haitani’s older son that really, really rubbed you the wrong way. He was always nice to you, too nice, even, and it should be putting you at ease…

But…

Your eyes met his lavender ones, they were sharp, calculating, and you had a strange, distinct feeling, one that you couldn’t quite place but you were sure it was reminiscent of how a deer might feel when it’s cornered by a predator with nowhere to run.

You swallowed thickly, “Yeah,” you said quietly, looking away from him. Ran peeled off the wall, walking closer to you and your fingers twitched at your sides when he finally stood in front of you. Silently, you held out the wires you were trying to hook up and your breath caught as Ran reached out to take them, fingers brushing yours.

You stood there for a moment, unmoving. Ran raised his eyebrows again and you frowned, unsure of what he wanted. His lips twitched up, a sort of mocking amusement dancing in his eyes, “Gotta get past you, doll,” he murmured.

Your face went hot again as you realized you were standing right in front of where he had to get to, and just as you were about to move out of the way, your eyes widened, Ran pressed his hand against the small of your back, sliding past you. And you felt dizzy, the scent of his body wash was overwhelming, the feeling of his body brushing against yours, you could feel his skin--you felt light-headed and you didn’t even know why.

As if he could sense how the brief contact had flustered you, he tossed you a wink. You stood there, stiff and nervous as he shifted the television on the wall mount so he could access the plugs better.

“C’mere,” he said, nodding his head to you, “I’ll show you so you know how to do it next time.”

You swore your heart was in your throat. The area behind the television was small, too small, you would be pushed up against him if he wanted you to come watch him plug it in. Just as you were about to shake your head and take a step back, Ran reached forward, tugging you a little closer.

Your breath caught as your back pressed against his chest. He let out a quiet apology, not having meant to pull you that hard--but a part of you didn’t believe him even as you told him it was okay. You took a step away so that your body wasn’t flush against his but it didn’t help.

You could barely focus on the way his long fingers fiddled with the wires, connecting them correctly. His voice was low in your ear, smooth like honey as he explained what you were fucking up with. It had your blood running hot and your hair standing up all at the same time.

His words went in one ear, out the other—you were more absorbed in the way you could feel how his skin was still hot from the shower he had taken, in the way you could smell his body wash so intensely, in the way you could hear each and every subtle fluctuation in his tone.

You prayed to god that he didn’t ask you to hook the television up yourself after he was done explaining to prove you understood what he was saying. On one hand, you knew damn well he already knew just how affected you were by his proximity and you were sure the satisfaction of that would be enough for him but on the other, you had a distinct feeling that Haitani Ran was the sort of man that got off on humiliation.

He was dangerous, you realized to yourself thickly. Your father kept you sheltered, but you were not naive. You knew of the rumors circulating Tokyo surrounding the people that bore the tattoo marring your stepbrothers’ throats, and you knew that the rumors were more than just rumors.

An unsteady feeling curled in your stomach as Ran finished explaining. You stepped away, still feeling hot and unwilling to look at him as you made your way to the couch, shooting him a quiet, stuttered thanks as your shaky hand lifted the remote.

He sat next to you.

Too close. You could feel his skin brushing yours, you could see the way his towel loosened from the corner of your eye.

“What’re you gonna watch?” Ran asked curiously.

“A show,” you responded tensely, trying to loosen the way your jaw had clenched tight at his proximity yet again.

He was waiting for you to elaborate, you realized and you let out a soft breath as you told him the name of the show, stupidly mentioning that it was your favorite.

“Mmm, hit play,” he hummed, “I’ll watch a few episodes with you, don’t think I’ve got anything else to do today anyway.”

With a figure that trembled just a bit too much to be solely from the way the air conditioning was blasting in the house, you pressed play on the remote—desperately trying to relax yourself against the cushions and ignore the way Ran’s toned arm was draped on the couch behind your head, ignore the way that if you looked out of the corner of your eye, your gaze could dip down below his towel from the way he was sitting.

Haitani Ran was dangerous, you noted again, hoping he missed the way you had instinctively rubbed your thighs together, especially if he could throw you off kilter like this so badly, if he could fluster you so intensely with minimal actions.

He was dangerous in more ways than one, you glanced at the tattoo branding his throat again and then went hot when he flashed you another smile. Very dangerous and you had always hated danger, no matter how appealing the form it came in was.

And that realization was all you needed to know to come to the conclusion that you would stay the fuck away from Haitani Ran and his charming smiles and captivating words no matter what the cost.

—

Haitani Rindou could not understand. It took a lot to boggle him like this but his older brother’s obsession with you was certainly more than enough to render him to such a state.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t try to understand. He did, he swore he did. Especially after Ran made that comment about how Rindou would switch up, and he only tried to understand because he wanted to avoid what might cause the switch up just so Ran couldn’t hold that ‘I told you so’ over his head.

But he could not understand. He did not know why Ran was so captivated by you, he did not know why Ran was so insistent that Rindou would switch up, and he certainly did not know why you kept trying to talk to him despite the fact he was cold and aloof with you.

Or, well, maybe he did know. Rindou’s lips pulled up around his cigarette as he made his way through the house toward the back door. You could not stand Ran, that much was apparent from how you had begun to actively avoid him. Whenever he walked into the room, you were moving in the opposite direction almost instantly. Maybe it wasn’t that you couldn’t stand him, he considered, more than it was Ran having come on to you too strong.

You were a lot like a deer, Rindou noted, inhaling a deep breath of smoke before tilting his head back and exhaling, letting it cloud around him. Hesitant, wary, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger, and evidently, you had deemed Ran as dangerous. Rindou would be insulted, really, that you didn’t seem to view him as dangerous but he found it way more amusing watching the frustration cross Ran’s face every time you drifted over toward Rindou or whenever you fled the room as soon as he showed up.

Rindou pushed open the back door, making his way out toward the pool, pausing mid step when he caught sight of you floating in the pool on one of the pink inflatable pool mats. You lowered your sunglasses when you heard the door open, tilting your head up to look at whoever had come outside. Your lips had been twisted down in suspicion until you seemed to recognize Rindou. Your lips turned up and you lifted your hand to wave at him.

Rindou ignored you, trying to hide the smile that nearly touched his lips when he realized you must have been suspicious over the fact that it might have been Ran that came outside. He debated on going back inside but decided against it--Ran was arguing on the phone with Kokonoi and Sanzu, and Rindou knew it was only a matter of time before the argument started getting loud and he did not particularly want to deal with that.

Holding the cigarette between his lips, he took off his tank top, pulling out his phone as he sat down on the pool chair next to the water. He scrolled through the groupchat he had with Mochi and Kakucho, snorting when he realized that the two of them must be in the same room as Kokonoi and Sanzu, listening as the argument drew on between them and Ran.

16:33 Kakucho: Sanzu won’t shut the fuck up, think Ran might actually lose it this time?

16:34 Mochi: Oh yeah, there he goes

As if on cue, a crash came from inside the house. Rindou snickered, shooting a message to them before a splash from the pool caught his attention. His gaze darted up above his phone right as he pressed send. He raised his eyebrows when he caught sight of you wading toward him, head bobbing above the water as you leaned up against the side of the pool.

“Hi,” you said, eyes happy as you looked up at him. He wondered what changed from the first night he had met you when you could barely look him in the eye. Or he supposed that he did know, you considered him the lesser of two evils now.

“Hey,” Rindou responded, meeting your eyes for half a second before letting his gaze drift back toward the house. Ran was at the window, phone pressed to his ear, eyes dark when he noticed that you were initiating conversation with Rindou.

Rindou, who had been very much intent on ignoring you after you exchanged your greetings, abruptly had a much better idea.

He sat up from where he was leaning back against the pool chair, putting his phone down, legs spread and feet pressed on the ground on either side of the chair, elbows resting on his thighs. Your eyes brightened over the fact that he wasn’t ignoring you, Rindou bit back a smirk when he noticed the vile, frustrated expression that crossed over Ran’s face when he noticed.

Not as fun when you’re not the first choice, hm? Rindou jabbed silently toward his older brother, having been in that exact position for the majority of his life. He knew that the only reason Ran had been so arrogant with his, ‘you’ll switch up,’ was because he was certain that you would prefer him over Rindou anyway, as most women have. And now that it was becoming apparent that that was not, in fact, the case…

Rindou was suddenly a whole lot more interested in you, even if it were for all the wrong reasons.

You propped your elbows up on the edge of the pool, resting your chin on one of your palms as you looked up at him.

“Whatcha guys hanging around so often for now anyway?” you asked, eyes lidded in a way that had his thoughts taking a rather filthy turn. He scolded himself silently, hating the way his blood jumped as you looked up at him through your lashes, eyes wide and curious.

He supposed he could see the attraction. He calculated you as he gave you a half-assed answer as to why he and Ran were suddenly all over their mother’s place again. You were a pretty little thing, that was for sure, and Ran had always enjoyed pretty little things like you. Rindou too, of course, but he had never seen it grow to this much of an obsession.

He watched as you babbled on about one of your classes--he wasn’t even quite sure how the conversation changed to this, but in his defense he hadn’t really been paying attention, too focused on trying to piece together the mystery you had thrown on him. He was grateful for the sudden change in your demeanor--this way he could focus on trying to figure this out while you distracted yourself with your conversation. You had been quiet the night that they had met you--quiet and timid and nervous. You were still that way whenever Ran was around, but Rindou thought he might prefer this side of you--the bright smile and brighter eyes that decorated your expression as you chatted animatedly about your interests. Interests that he genuinely couldn’t care less about but he still found himself listening fairly intently to as you went on and on about world politics.

You wanted to be a lawyer specializing in international law, he learned, eyes tracing your lips as you told him about a presentation you had on about the geopolitical risks of nuclear technology.

He asked you a question about your presentation, he watched as your eyes lit up, as you pushed yourself out of the pool just a little more, his breath caught as your breasts bounced at the subtle movement. Momentarily, Rindou’s gaze dropped down, watching as water droplets dripped down your collarbone and between your breasts.

He dragged his eyes back up to your face, gaze slowly tracing up the water droplets still dripping down your body up to your lips, spread wide across your face in a sort of smile that ignited something in him that he didn’t expect. His mouth felt dry, his eyes met yours again. You didn’t notice--he supposed he should be grateful for that. The last thing he needed was for you to start thinking he and Ran were the same.

Oh.

Realization hit him slowly--in a sort of way that had his skin crawling and heart stuttering in his chest. He spared one last glance to the window he had seen his brother in not ten minutes before, eyes wide and panic beginning to hit because…

… because Rindou had a distinct feeling that he just fucked himself.

---

Like his brother, Haitani Ran also could not understand. He was absolutely baffled as to how he had gone so horribly wrong with you. He had been nice, friendly, he went out of his way to try to help you and he made sure that he kept his temper in check whenever you were around even when Rindou was purposefully needling him. He had done all of that, and yet you still refused to talk to him--go near him, even.

But somehow you were perfectly comfortable with Rindou, and Ran just couldn’t understand why no matter how hard he tried.

His thin temper was on the verge of snapping, and it would not be pretty for anybody if, or more likely when, it did.

His jaw was tight as he stared down at his glass of wine, watching the red liquid slosh back and forth as he circled his hand.

He didn’t even know why this was bothering him so much. Or he supposed he did, Ran was pretty sure this was the first time ever that a woman had not chased after him. And likewise, it was the first time ever that he had chased after a woman.

And that was what had Ran so confused.

Why the fuck was he chasing after you?

Why was it not working?

Why was he continuing to chase when it was apparent that it wasn’t working?

Well, the last question was easy to answer--Ran had always had trouble accepting defeat and this was turning into one of the most frustrating games of his life.

His finger hovered above the call button on his cell phone.

Humiliating, this would be fucking humiliating. Mochi’s number was displayed bright on his screen, and he knew that calling his friend would result in a number of jokes at his expense but Ran wasn’t sure what else to do.

He could practically hear the comments already and it had his face heating up in anger and embarrassment.

How the fuck was he supposed to explain that he was trying and failing to seduce his new step-sister without sounding like an absolute fucking loser?

There was no way, he realized mournfully, locking his phone and shoving it back in his pocket, downing the rest of his drink. He would have to figure it out by himself.

He glanced over to the clock on the wall. It was late, obscenely so, he hadn’t realized how quickly the time had passed, and Ran felt dread pooling in him when he remembered that he had a meeting first thing in the morning.

He let out a long sigh, tipping his head back and downing the rest of his glass. Placing the glass back down on the counter, head fuzzy from the alcohol, Ran began to make his way back toward his room.

A part of him hated you, truly. He felt it deep in his chest, flowing throughout his body. He never tried for anyone, ever, not until you--and you, the first person he genuinely tried for, only brushed him off, avoided him.

It was fucking embarrassing. Humiliating. He knew that Rindou was laughing at him whenever he got the chance, and he knew that if the others found out, they would be doing the same exact thing.

The fact that he had even been considering going to Mochi about this, to ask his advice concerning how the fuck to approach you, was a mystery in itself. Mochi would have never let him live it down and you should not matter to him this much.

Why the fuck did he care so much about what you thought of him? Why was he so desperate to make you see him, want him? He had never been that way with other women, why you?

Even if he had been right a few nights ago when he decided the reason he wanted you was because he wanted to taint that purity that seemed to cling to you like a second skin, it didn’t explain why he was trying so fucking hard when it was obvious you had no interest.

It was exhausting. And he was certain it was driving him half-mad, watching you hang around his brother like an elementary school girl with a crush all the while avoiding him like the plague.

He let out a heavy sigh, sparing your ajar bedroom door a hateful glare as he made his way toward it so he could pass it to get to his own room further down the hall.

It was a waste of his time, he told himself, he was better off forgetting you and going back to women at the club. But even as the thought crossed his mind, the picture of your wide eyes and long lashes looking up at him as he helped you hook up the television flashed through his head, he recalled your soft voice and even softer skin as he sat just a bit too close to you and all he could think of was how your body would feel beneath his, how you would sound crying out his name, wide eyes glassy and tears spilling over your cheeks as you begged him for more and begged him to slow down all at the same time.

Ran let out a low groan, shutting his eyes and tilting his head back against the wall next to your door.

Fuck, he thought to himself, letting out a shaky, heavy breath as he tried to work himself up to continuing back to his room.

You were so close, he swallowed thickly. You were just behind the door and Ran could practically picture the way you were fast asleep in bed, blankets strewn all over, one bare leg visible, pajama shirt riding up your stomach. Your lips would be wet and parted, soft puffs of air escaping your lips as you slept soundly, unaware of his presence on the opposite side of the door and the vile, vile thoughts running through his head.

Another noise escaped his lips, his eyes screwed shut. What the fuck was wrong with him? he wanted to scream at himself, he wanted to pick his feet up to keep moving down the hall but he couldn’t.

Especially when he heard noise coming from inside your room.

His head fell to the side, eyes trained on your door as he listened intently. You should be asleep, fast asleep, really, he had been in the kitchen with you when you took your sleeping pills earlier. Was he imagining it?

No, he definitely wasn’t. A quiet whimper resounded from your room, one that he would have missed had he not been listening for it.

There were no sounds of movement from behind the door, Ran was so still that he was certain if someone passed by they would’ve mistaken him for a statue.

He waited a moment—another, he recognized, swallowing thickly as he glanced at the door, a hot feeling pooling in his lower abdomen. Maybe you were having a nightmare? he considered, trying to figure out what to do.

His palm pressed flat against the ajar door, hesitating only for a moment before pushing it open. He winced at the creak, and cursed his mother for never replacing the hinges on the older doors in the house. And just as Ran was about to take a step into the room, he froze, because the next noise that escaped your lips was not a whimper.

His eyes ripped up to where you were laying, mouth going dry as his gaze landed on you, covers strewn on top of you, just like he expected, quick, heavy pants escaping swollen lips, chest rising and falling rapidly. You were wearing different pajamas tonight—a tank top that was half-falling off of you and a pair of shorts that barely covered anything—and Ran could not take his eyes off of you, and he wouldn’t have wanted to even if he could.

Your eyes were squeezed shut tight, sweat beaded at your skin, body shifting and squirming underneath the thin sheet—you had tossed your comforter off some time during the night. Another soft moan escaped your lips, unmistakable this time, and Ran’s cock twitched at the thought.

Fuck, he thought, his feet were pressed hard against the ground. He tried to force himself to turn on his heel and walk away but he couldn’t.

It would be the right thing to do, Ran told himself but Haitani Ran had never been a good man, and a part of him wondered why the fuck he should start now.

But Rindou’s words circulated through his head—don’t ruin this for mom—and more selfishly, a part of him really was worried you would wake up, no matter how illogical the fear might be (he had seen you take the pills), and if you woke up and saw him, any chance he had would be thrown out the window.

With that thought in mind and a litany of curses running through his head, he took a step out of your room, closing the door behind him. Just as he was about to quietly shut it, another noise left your lips.

His name.

Ran stared ahead blankly, scared, if only for a second, that you had woken up and seen him. He glanced back over his shoulder, a million excuses on the tip of his tongue, but his lips only parted in shock when he realized you were still asleep.

Oh fuck.

God was testing him, he realized. His throat felt tight, his head felt dizzy. He took in a deep breath. Fuck.

And it took absolutely everything Ran had in him to step out of your room and close the door behind him. His eyes slid shut as he leaned back against the door, trying to control himself.

His hand twitched toward the buckle of his pants, cock straining against the tightness of his slacks, abdomen tense and breath shaky. The sight of you squirming in bed, the sound of your whimpers and moans playing on repeat through his head—his name.

You wanted him.

The thought was almost enough to push him over the edge after having heard you moan his name in your sleep. For all of your avoidance and excuses, you wanted him, and it set a new sort of fire running through his blood, igniting the determination that had slowly faded after two weeks of rejection.

You and your father and his mother were going on vacation next week, Ran remembered, head half-dizzy and legs all but trembling as he made his way back to his room.

He would figure out a game plan while you were gone, and once you were back, he swore to fucking god, he would do this right.

—

Something had changed.

You weren’t sure how, or what exactly it was, but something had changed and it had you on edge.

At first it was just Ran that had thrown you off kilter, unnerved by how familiar he acted with you and unhappy with the very unwelcome feelings he had brought upon you. But now it was Rindou too, and you hated it because he hadn’t been the one to change. He was still aloof with you, he was still distant, but now every time he accidentally (was it really accidentally?) brushed up against you, your head felt fuzzy and your body felt hot.

It had been easy to avoid Ran, because you would run to Rindou instead, but now Rindou wasn’t an option because he was making you feel those same, equally unwelcome feelings.

You shut your eyes. You hated it.

School. Studying. Clubs.

That was your life.

You wanted to do well in university. You wanted to get into the best law school. You wanted to make a name for yourself.

And now you wanted them.

You wanted them, and you hated it.

You wished you could go back to before you had met them, you wished you had stayed in your room and gotten a shitty night of sleep because now you couldn’t focus on anything but them.

Every time your professor droned on in class, your mind would wander to the way that Ran’s body had felt pressed up against yours that day he helped you with the television, your head would feel dizzy as you wondered how he would feel pressed up behind you in different scenarios—on his bed, over your desk, against the door to your parents’ bedroom. Your mind would wander to Rindou and his ever-apathetic expression, and you wondered what expression he would make if you were on your knees in front of him, if he was hovering above you with your legs hooked over his shoulders, and every time you realized just how far your mind had drifted, your face heated up and your eyes got teary.

You had never been like this before. You hadn’t. You weren’t totally inexperienced, you’d had a boyfriend before, but you had never been so dumb and obsessed over some guy’s cock before. You weren’t the type to just sit there and fantasize for hours on end but now you were and it was affecting your studies and it was their fault.

And it wasn’t just some guy, you wanted to cry, they were your brothers. Your brothers. Your father had married their mother. They were your brothers, maybe not by blood, but they were still your family, and all you could think about was them having their way with you in any and every possible position.

“You okay, hun?” you nearly flinched at the sound of Mrs. Haitani’s voice, and you wanted to cry even more when you noticed the genuine concern. She was worried about you as if you hadn’t just been having vile thoughts about her sons.

“Yeah,” your voice cracked, “I’m okay.”

She didn’t believe you, but for once she didn’t push and you were grateful.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” she sat on the couch next to you. Her suitcase was packed by the door next to your father’s, she was dressed fancy in a nice fur coat and hat. “It’ll only take a few minutes to pack, there should still be an extra seat in first class near us.”

“I’m sure,” you said softly, “I have an exam in two weeks, I really need to study.”

Mrs. Haitani sighed, but she nodded, rising to her feet. “If you say so,” she sounded disappointed, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to feel guilty.

With your father and Mrs. Haitani out of the house, and the brothers thinking you were with them, you would have plenty of time to study and get yourself under control, and you would be sure to take advantage of it.

—

He had fucked up. He had so awfully, terribly fucked up that he didn’t know if he would even be able to recover from it. Rindou gasped for breath as he frantically tried to turn his bike on, holding his wounded side and grimacing as he sat on the seat. As quick as possible, he pulled out of the warehouse.

He had stumbled right into a fucking trap, and he had no one to blame but himself but he wasn’t going to admit that to anyone--not even his brother. He was the one who had pushed for accepting the deal from their rivals, Sanzu had been vehemently against it--claiming that they were just trying to set Bonten up--and Rindou had been stubborn, too stubborn, once he realized Sanzu was disagreeing with him. It had turned into a battle of egos because there was no way he would ever let Sanzu win because he knew damn well Sanzu would never shut up about it--Sanzu had it out for them ever since the Kanto Manji days, and it had only gotten worse over time.

He had wanted to prove the fucker wrong and all he had done was give him more ammunition against Rindou and his brother. Rindou was not prepared for the slew of insults and accusations that were going to be thrown his way at the next meeting.

Assuming he survived the night.

He couldn’t worry about that yet.

First, he had to get out of enemy territory, and then he had to get his wound closed up before he fucking bled out.

The speedometer ticked upwards as he sped down the streets, trying to lose the cars chasing behind him. Each little movement had pain shooting through his body so intense that it had his vision going spotty.

He might die, he realized, a sick feeling in his stomach as he took a sharp turn down another street, gasping as the movement ripped the wound open more.

He turned down another street, and another, and another after that. His vision tunneled and blurred, once he was certain that he had at the very least lost the immediate tails on him, he fumbled to pull his phone from his pocket.

It was night time, and it was drizzling, and he supposed he should be more careful but he also supposed that being reckless was really his only option right now--his chances of survival were already slim anyway.

He pressed the first number that popped up on his screen--Ran.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ran picked up instantly, voice panicked, and Rindou could practically picture the expression on his face. Guilt ate at his stomach. “Rindou, wh-”

“Was a fuckin’ trap,” the words were bitter to admit out loud. “I got shot, I lost the people chasing me. I’m gonna head to mom’s place, it’s closer than the apartment.”

Rindou could hear Ran choke, “You got shot?” he demanded, “What about all the backup-”

“Dead,” Rindou grunted, swerving dangerously as his vision started going out again, “We don’t have time for this right now. Mom and the new guy are on vacation, right? I don’t want her to see me like this.”

“They are,” he heard Ran say over the line, his voice tense, laced with worry, and Rindou hated that it was because of him, “I’ll be there in twenty. Slow the bleeding, okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” Rindou muttered, hanging up the phone and stuffing it back into his pocket as he came to a hasty stop at the front of the house. He let out a slew of curses as his feet hit the ground, pain shooting up his side again.

He stumbled into the house, eyes frantic and breath quick. It fucking hurt, he grit his teeth hard as he looked around. He couldn’t remember where his mother had kept the bandages or needle and thread to stitch the wound up.

Fuck, he thought to himself, side on fire as his gaze darted around. The bathroom?

Just as he was about to make his way to the bathroom, a noise made him freeze. Inhaling sharply, he reached for the gun holstered at its side, flicking the safety off and holding it up, ignoring how his side screamed in pain at the movement.

The hallway was dark and it took all of Rindou’s self control not to get trigger-happy. No one should be here--his mom, your father, you, you guys were all on vacation. The house should have been empty. His finger twitched as a shadow appeared in the hallway, a hesitant figure making its way toward him.

“Who-”

“Rindou?”

The anxiety that had been building in his chest disappeared in an instant at the sight of you standing at the edge of the hallway, dressed in pale pink silk pajamas, similar to the ones you had been wearing that first night. He dropped the gun to his side, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Y/n,” he breathed out, “the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with mom and your dad in Santorini?”

You shook your head, “No, I stayed home,” you said quietly, stepping into the sitting room. Your eyes darted around suspiciously before they finally focused on him, widening when you saw the blood staining his shirt and dripping down the side of his body. “You’re hurt.”

No shit, he nearly said but he bit the snippy words as soon as they reached the tip of his tongue when you rushed toward him, “Come, your mom keeps the medical stuff in her bedroom’s bathroom.”

You wrapped an arm around Rindou’s waist, careful to not put pressure on the wound and Rindou let out a shaky breath as he leaned into you a bit, not wanting to throw his whole weight on top of you and topple the two of you over. He let his eyes slide shut as you guided him through the halls.

You were talking, but your voice was wavering and he could feel the way you were trembling against him. You were scared, and Rindou supposed a part of him felt guilty for it, but in his defense, you were not supposed to be here.

You turned on the light of the bathroom, ushering him to sit on the closed toilet seat. You didn’t say anything as you kneeled in front of the bathroom cabinet pulling out a bunch of different items before shuffling back over to him. Rindou’s eyes felt heavy as he looked down at you, watching as you knelt between his legs.

“I’m going to take off your shirt,” you said after a moment, looking up at him, “To see the wound.”

Rindou only let out a grunt in response, grimacing as he forced himself to sit up straight. You fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, fingers shaky. Rindou liked to blame it on the blood loss-induced haze, really, because when he looked down at you, watching your fingers trace his skin as you wiped away the blood with an antiseptic wipe, he couldn’t help the way his mind wandered.

And a part of him wanted to punch himself in the face because here he was, bleeding out in his childhood home, his new step-sister helping patch him up, and the only thing he could think about was how fucking pretty you look on your knees in front of him.

Get a hold of yourself, Rindou spat at himself, gritting his teeth and letting his head fall back as you pressed the needle into his skin. A hiss escaped his lips at the sting and you apologized softly under your breath.

Rindou’s eyes were lidded as looked down at you, kneeling between his legs, elbows propped on his side as you stitched up the wound in his lower abdomen.

“How do you know how to do this?” he asked, which was evidently a mistake because your gaze shifted up toward him, looking up at him through your lashes with wide eyes.

God was testing him, he decided, forcing his gaze away from you and looking back up at the ceiling.

“My ex got into fights a lot,” you finally said. He did not like the thought of you having an ‘ex’ but he couldn’t linger on it long as you continued, he could practically hear the amused smile twitching at your lips, “he didn’t often win.”

Rindou snorted, but the action made him wince.

“The bullet went through, so i’ll stitch the other side and you should be fine,” you said after a few moments of silence, “… you’ll still probably wanna get this checked out by an actual doctor though.”

“Yeah, I will tomorrow or something,” not an actual doctor though, just one of the one’s on Bonten’s payroll. Going to a hospital was not exactly an option for him, and from the way you didn’t even question why he didn’t go to one, he had a feeling you knew that.

The bathroom door slammed open. Rindou jumped, fumbling for his gun, you let out a surprised shriek, just as he had a firm grasp on the grip of the gun, he realized who exactly had entered the bathroom with them.

“Ran, what the fuck?” Rindou demanded, heart racing as he relaxed back on the seat, “I thought you said twenty minutes.”

Ran shot him an irritated look, out of breath and still significantly frazzled, “You got shot,” was all he said in response, and Rindou wondered just how fast Ran had driven to get to the house so fast. “You don’t know how to patch up your own wounds you could have bled out.”

Rindou looked away. Ran was right, of course, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

“I thought you were on vacation,” Ran said, having finally noticed who exactly was kneeling in front of Rindou, stitching him up.

“I didn’t go,” you said quietly. Ran let out a hum, moving around you to sit down on the side of the tub next to Rindou, watching intently as you finished stitching the entrance wound. You tapped his thigh and Rindou took it as a cue to turn, straddling the toilet seat, facing the tank as you began to start on the exit wound.

Rindou made the mistake of looking at Ran, who was watching the two of you curiously. Rindou did not like the look on his face.

You stood up after a few minutes of tense silence, looking awkwardly between the two of them, “I’m gonna head to bed,” you said, “the stitching is pretty sloppy but it gets it done for now.”

“Thanks,” Rindou said, voice rough, and he felt a little bad because he should have been nicer—you just saved his ass, after all—but all he could focus on was how Ran was watching him with that stupid, knowing look on his face.

As soon as you left the bathroom, Ran was running his mouth, “You switched up,” he said so matter-of-factly that there was no arguing against it.

Rindou looked away, “Fuck you.”

“Bet you wish you were fucking her,” Ran countered in response and Rindou scoffed.

“Fuck you,” he said even louder, glaring at Ran heatedly. Ran only grinned, eyes bright. “Shouldn’t you still be sulky over the fact she won’t even look at you?” Rindou spit out, voice vile.

Ran looked unbothered and the thought had Rindou’s skin crawling because just a few days ago Ran had been furious and distressed over it.

What had changed?

“Why would I be?” Ran’s voice was teasing, too light to be of comfort.

“The fuck you mean why would you be? You’ve been shitty over the fact she likes me more for weeks,” Rindou snapped.

Ran’s smile had Rindou nervous.

“Oh, does she?” Ran cooed, “I don’t think it was your name she was moaning in her sleep, little brother.”

Rindou’s expression dropped, he stared at Ran, “You’re lying,” he hissed but Rindou knew that he wasn’t.

“Mmm, it seems our new baby sister likes me a bit more than she lets on, Rindou.”

—

You’d been tossing and turning for two hours. You couldn’t get your mind off of the brothers.

Again.

You had never seen Ran like that before, so serious, so scared. He had been terrified when he first burst through the bathroom door, and you weren’t sure you could exactly blame him. When you had seen Rindou stumbling through the sitting room, blood soaked through his shirt and dripping onto the floor, you swore that your heart was in your throat.

You sighed as you sat up in bed, hands pressed against the mattress behind you, head tilted back as you looked up at the ceiling.

Your hands were still shaking, you noticed, swallowing thickly as you shifted to sit off the side of the bed, feet dangling for a moment before you forced yourself to stand up. You had classes again tomorrow, but you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. You were stressed over Rindou’s wound, you were stressed over whatever caused the wound, and you were stressed over the fact that no matter what you did, you could not take your mind off of either of them.

This was not like you. A part of you was angry that they had showed up--this was supposed to be your week to relax, your week to finally get yourself under control, to focus back on school and studying and all of the upcoming exams you were going to have to suffer through.

Instead here they were, and here you were, once again up half of the night thinking about them.

You should have taken your pills, you realized, but you were thrown off so badly by Rindou’s appearance that you had totally forgotten about them, and if you took them now, you wouldn’t be able to wake up for your 8 AM class tomorrow.

You let out another irritated breath, rising to your feet. You might as well go make yourself some sort of tea to try to help you doze off.

Just as you were about to make your way to the door, you paused when you heard a rather harsh knock at your door, two familiar voices behind it.

“Rindou, c’mon,” you heard Ran mutter.

“Fuck off,” Rindou snapped right back.

You sighed, speak of the devils. Your feet dragged against the ground as you made your way to your door, pulling it open and looking up at Rindou and Ran. The question on your lips died when you saw just how furious Rindou looked as he pushed past you into your room.

“Um-” you began, turning to look at him but he cut you off.

“You like stringin’ both of us along?” Rindou demanded, taking a step closer to you.

Your jaw went slack, your face was on fire. You took a step back, stepping right into Ran’s chest. Ran shot you a smile unfitting for the situation, one hand on your hip as he made you take another step forward, back into the center of the room so he could follow Rindou into the room, shutting the door behind him.

“I asked you a question,” Rindou said sharply, reaching forward to grab your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, a dark look circulated behind his eyes but you couldn’t pinpoint whether or not it was anger or… something else.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to look away, but his grip tightened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stuttered over the words, you were sure Rindou could feel how hot your face was beneath his fingers. “I don’t know-”

“No?” Ran cooed, coming right up behind you again, just like that day where he was helping you with the television. Your breath shook as you felt his body press up against your back, fingers grazing your hips as he held you in place lightly. “Are you calling my brother a liar, doll?”

“I-I didn’t say that,” you said, trying to shake your head and failing when Rindou didn’t let you move your face.”I did not say th-”

“So you’re saying there’s some truth behind it?” Ran interrupted you. He leaned down, you could feel his lips brush the shell of your ear, you hated how your body shivered directly in response to it, and you hated how you knew damn well that Ran noticed if the chuckle he let out was anything to say about it. He clicked his tongue mockingly. “How filthy, doll, have you been fantasizing about your big brothers?”

You blanched, fingers trembling, body hot--and you weren’t sure if it was from embarrassment or from the feeling of both of them so close.

“Y-you’re not my brothers,” you cried out, trying to push away from them but you couldn’t get yourself free. “You are not my brothers, don’t say that, that’s so-”

“Oh?” Ran murmured, and you had a feeling that you had walked right into whatever trap he had laid out for you, “So you have been fantasizing about us?”

Your heart was in your throat, “No, no, I did not say that either-” you tried to shake your head again but couldn’t. Rindou scoffed, you felt tears spring to your eyes. “I didn’t-”

“You haven’t?” Rindou’s voice was harsh, mean, you took in a wet, shaky breath, “So then why the fuck were you moaning Ran’s name in your sleep, huh?”

You swore your world went still, your ears were ringing, his words rang in your head over and over and over again.

Moaning Ran’s name in your sleep-

“There’s no-there’s no way,” you couldn’t breathe, “You must’ve heard wrong, there’s no-”

You were lying through your teeth, you had woken up many times over the past few weeks from less than pure dreams about one, or both, of the brothers. But there was no way they had overheard you--you don’t sleep talk, there was no way. You had never sleep talked before as far as you knew.

“Mm, but you did, princess,” Rindou’s tone was laced with malice, eyes heated as he stared down at you.

“I didn’t,” you tried again, “I didn’t, I don’t think of you guys that way, I don-”

“You haven’t?” Ran cooed, his lips were still close to your ear, you couldn’t help the way your eyes fluttered shut, “Well, if you don’t think of us that way, then I guess you don’t wanna hear all the dirty little fantasies I’ve had about you, do you?”

Your breath caught, your mouth went dry, “H-huh?” was all you could say, and you wished that Rindou’s grip on your face would loosen so you could look back at him but Rindou forced you to keep looking at him.

“I’ve thought about you a lot,” he murmured, and you trembled when you felt his lips brush your ear before dipping lower, ghosting across the skin of your neck, breath hot and dizzying against your skin, “Thought about that pretty face of yours, havin’ those pretty lips wrapped around my cock. You think you could handle my cock, doll? … I don’t think so, but I think you’d look real good chokin’ all over me.”

You bit back a whimper, lips parting when the fingers on your waist trailed lower, tracing light patterns on your hip bone, sliding even lower, too low. Your breath was quick, you could feel your body reacting to his touches, and you could feel the way his lips were pulling up in amusement.

“Thought about that pretty pussy of yours too, thought about ruinin’ it,” he breathed out, teeth grazing your skin. This time you couldn’t hold back the whimper. “Stuffin’ you so full of my cum that it’s leakin’ from your cunt for days.”

You shifted, accidentally brushing against Ran’s cock. A gasp ripped from your lips when he let out a low groan against your skin, “Thought about bending you over that desk you’re always doin’ your work on, takin’ you over the hood of your dad’s fancy car, splitting you open while you try to focus during one of those dumb Zoom meetings for your club.”

“S’not right,” you gasped as one of Ran’s hands flattened against your lower stomach, pressing you harder against him, “We can-”

Your eyes snapped back open when a hand wrapped tight around your throat, pulling you right from Ran’s grasp and backing you up into the bed. You gasped as the back of your knees hit the mattress, falling back flat, Rindou hovering on top of you, eyes dark and lips twisted down.

“Rin,” you gasped, “We shouldn’t, your wound and-and our parents and-“

“Fuck the wound and fuck them,” Rindou spat out and a soft keen left your lips when he let go of your neck, lips attaching to the spot beneath your jaw instantly. His mouth sucked hard at your neck, and you knew it would leave marks come morning but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, while his tongue drew pretty patterns against your skin, as if he was trying to soothe the area his lips and teeth were violating.

He drew back momentarily, knees straddling your waist as he looked you over, shaking his head, “You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he murmured, pressing his lips back to the junction of your neck, voice muffled against your skin, “Never seen anything like it.”

One of his hands slipped beneath your silk pajama top, smoothing over your skin before sliding up your body, kneading one of your breasts firmly, thumb flicking over your nipple. You let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut as your back arched up off the bed and into his touch instinctively.

You could feel him smile against your neck, “You’re so sensitive,” he breathed out, pulling back to look over you. You watched as curiosity sparked in his eyes. “Have you ever…”

You knew what he was asking without him having to finish it, and you could feel the way your face heated up in humiliation at the question, “Yes,” you interrupted before he could speak it out loud. “Yes,” you hesitated, “I have…”

You have, that was true, but your ex-boyfriend wasn’t exactly adept in making a girl feel good. He was always more focused on his own pleasure. This was foreign to you, and you were nervous.

Not to mention the fact that a part of you still was hesitant.

You wanted them, god, you fucking wanted them. You’d been thinking about it nonstop since you had met them--it was eating your brain away, consuming your every thought. You hoped that letting them have their way with you once, you would get it out of your system, you’d be able to go back to focusing on your studies and your future.

But… you couldn’t shake the thought out of your head--they were your brothers. Maybe not by blood, but they were your brothers. They were. Your father had married their mother, and both of them wanted the three of you to get along as siblings would. Mrs. Haitani was very vocal about it and even your father had made comments about how nice it would be for you to have brothers to look out for you now.

This was wrong, you told yourself over and over and over again but instead of pushing Rindou off and telling him to stop, you tilted your head back, giving him better access.

“Atta girl,” you heard Ran say, feeling the bed dip next to you and Rindou let out a low grunt of agreement against your skin, “Flip her over, Rindou.”

“Wh-” you began but you were cut off as Rindou immediately did what his brother asked, grabbing you by the hips and flipping the two of you over so that you were straddling his hips. Ran shifted behind you and Rindou sat up, pressing his lips to yours.

Whimpering softly against his lips, your hands rose to intertwine with his hair, holding him close. Ran chuckled as he pressed up against your back, lips pressed to the nape of your neck, trailing wet kisses down your neck toward your spine. His fingers worked at the buttons to your shirt as Rindou kept you distracted, tongue tracing along your bottom lip before pushing into your mouth, pressing down gently on your tongue as Ran slipped your top off of your shoulders.

They moved fast, and efficiently. You just couldn’t keep up. You swore you felt like their hands and lips were everywhere, and it had you dizzy and reeling, you couldn’t even hope to make full sense of what was happening, all you knew was that you felt good, so fucking good that it almost felt like an alcohol-induced hazed had swept over you.

Ran’s lips moved slowly down your spine, and your body trembled under his touch, his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your silk shorts and you gasped into Rindou’s mouth, giving the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

“Shhh,” Ran hushed and your hips jerked as you felt his fingers ghost over your panties, drawing a light circle over your clothed clit, “You weren’t kidding, she is sensitive,” he chuckled.

You pulled away from Rindou for only a moment, “Ran,” you panted, trying to look back but Rindou’s hand returned to your jaw, grip rough.

“Pay attention to me,” he said, voice low, dragging your face back toward him, to press his lips hard against yours again.

Ran’s fingers dipped lower and he laughed, lips pressed to your shoulder, “You’re fuckin’ drenched, doll, how many times have you imagined this happening… have you tried to get yourself off thinking about us?”

You shook your head quick--too quick--tears springing to your eyes once again because you had. It was only once, and as soon as you realized what you were doing, you stopped yourself, reminding yourself who they were to you, and how you couldn’t be thinking of them that way.

“Oh you have, haven’t you?” Ran gasped in mock disbelief, “Dirty girl, aren’t you? How would your father react if he knew you were finger fucking yourself and pretending it was your big brothers’ cocks?”

You forced yourself away from Rindou again, trying to ignore the way Ran’s long fingers dipped beneath your panties, body shuddering as his pointer finger glided between your folds, gathering up the slick before smearing it all over your clit.

“Y-You’re not my brothers, stop saying that,” you stuttered, trying to convince no one but yourself, and from the way Ran snorted he knew that as well.

“Hmm? Then why were you so worried about our parents before?” Ran questioned, biting down gently on your skin as he sunk a finger deep, deep into you. Your eyes half-rolled back at the feeling, hips jerking yet again in a desperate attempt for more. Ran groaned against your skin, “Fuck, doll, you’re so tight. How the fuck’re you supposed to fit us in there when you can barely fit a finger?”

His words went in one ear out the other, too lost in the feeling of their bodies already. Ran pumped his finger in and out of you steadily, thumb rubbing gentle circles on your clit while his free hand slid up your body to your neck, keeping a firm hold on it as he held you back against him. Rindou took the opportunity to trail his lips down your collarbone to your chest, hair brushing your skin as he captured one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue flicking over the bud as he sucked on it while his hand played with your other breast, pinching your nipple softly and massaging the soft flesh around it.

It was too much, they were too much. You couldn’t even think straight, much less pray to do anything. All you could do was lay between them and let them have their way with you, panting, gasping for air, body twitching and jerking with every touch.

Ran slipped another finger inside of you, stretching your walls around him and your vision went spotty and your head felt fuzzy. Your body felt hot, too hot, and far too quick.

“Oh god,” you whimpered, “Oh god, ‘s, ‘s so-“

You didn’t even really know what you were trying to say. Rindou’s teeth grazed your skin and the noise you let out was obscene, Ran picking up the pace of his fingers in time with Rindou’s increase of aggression.

It was overwhelming, so fucking overwhelming, you tried to hold yourself together. You tried so hard but it was just impossible with their hands and lips all over your body, and with the incessant filth spewing from Ran’s mouth.

“God, look at you,” Ran groaned, “Tried to play all fuckin’ coy and innocent avoiding me these past few weeks. If I’d known the only thing you wanted was to be stuffed with cock I would’ve given it to you, but you had to be difficult, didn’t you?”

No response left your lips other than another high pitch moan when his thumb pressed down hard on your clit at the same time as he tried to push another finger into you.

And that was all it took to send you spiraling, crying out their names so loud that you swore your neighbors would be able to hear as you came all over Ran’s fingers, body spasming between theirs and the grip Ran had on your throat tightened to hold you in place.

Your vision was blurry and your body was shaking but Rindou and Ran didn’t even give you a chance to recover. You were still fully out of it as they manhandled your body around positioning you on top of Rindou, straddling his waist.

“H-hold on,” you began, “I need a sec-“

Your jaw went slack when you felt the tip of Rindou’s cock nudge against your entrance before pushing in.

And it hurt, even with Ran having loosened you up with his fingers before, it was no comparison to how bad Rindou’s cock was stretching you out. The tears in your eyes spilled over, streaming down your cheek. It burned and it stung, your fingers, Ran’s fingers, your ex’s cock, nothing could have prepared you for the sensation of being split open on Haitani Rindou’s cock.

“S’too big, s’too big,” you sobbed, “‘m gonna die.”

Ran only cooed, reaching from behind you to cup your cheek, wiping away the tears, “How cute,” he murmured, “How’s she feel, Rindou?”

Rindou was breathing heavy, “Fuckin’ tight, you weren’t kidding, fuck,” he moaned, hips jerking up, the tip of his cock nudging so deep inside you that you swore he was up in your guts somehow.

Your eyes rolled back and the pain slowly, slowly began to shift into pleasure, the burn of the stretch becoming bearable as Rindou rolled his hips up into you, waiting for you to adjust to his side.

And it was in no time, really, you had your hand braced against his abdomen, nails digging into his tattoos, careful to avoid the stitchs, arms trembling and your thighs tense as you tried to move your hips with him. You could feel every inch of his cock molding against your walls, the in-and-out drag had drool pooling at the corner of your mouth, heavy pants and high-pitched moans spilling from your lips.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Ran said quietly, and your eyes fluttered up, you turned your head to meet his eyes, unfocused and blurry, your hips still moving to fuck yourself on Rindou’s cock. “Feels good being split open by your big brother, doesn’t it?”

And his words were only partly registering as you nodded frantically, “F-feels s’good, feels s’good, Ran,” you cried, eyes sliding back shut, “Feels-“

Two hands fell heavy on your hips, bruising, stopping your own movements and Rindou’s in one fell swoop. You sobbed, Rindou let out a string of vile curses.

You forced your eyes back open to look at Ran again, and distantly, you recognized the cruel, playful look in his eyes as he watched you, “I want you to tell me every little filthy fantasy you had about me and my brother.”

You shook your head, opening your mouth to refuse but Ran’s smile only widened, “Then stay here, I’ll hold you here cockwarming him all night if I have to,” he told you, and the expression on his face let you know that he had every intention of following through.

Your lips wobbled, your eyes blurred with tears again, one of Ran’s hands slid to rub soft circles on your clit while the other held you down on Rindou’s cock. He leaned in close over your shoulder, lips so close to yours they were nearly brushing. You could feel his breath mixing with yours, hot and dizzying.

“You feel how good he’s stretching you out,” Ran murmured, and between his words and the circles he was rubbing on your clit, your walls clenched down hard on Rindou’s cock, you could hear him let out a shameless moan behind you and you whimpered. “Imagine how much better it’ll feel when I let go and let him actually fuck you, doll.”

God, you could practically feel it. You could practically feel Rindou’s fingers digging into your hips as he brought you down hard on his cock over and over and over again, hips thrusting up to meet yours every time, cock so deep inside you that it had your mind going numb. You could practically hear the lewd sounds of skin on skin resounding through the room, the sloppy sound of his cock driving into your cunt.

You needed it.

And Ran knew it, if his smile had anything to say about it.

“Go on,” he urged, “tell us and I’ll let go.”

A humiliated sob bubbled at your lips, your body felt like it was on fire and you knew it wasn’t because of the way Rindou’s cock was lodged deep inside of you. You tried to move your hips despite Ran’s grip but he was stronger than you, and he only laughed when he noticed your attempt.

“S’not gonna work, doll,” he cooed, voice cruel and mocking. “Only way you’re getting what you want is if you give me what I want.”

The noise that escaped your lips was pathetic, your cheeks were wet from the tears that had spilled over, your body trembled violently beneath his grasp. Looking down, you noticed that Rindou’s eyes were screwed shut and his jaw was clenched, fingers wrapped tight around the bed sheets as he tried to control himself.

“I-I’ve thought about you,” you finally cried, and Ran hummed behind you, kissing your shoulder as he continued to trace light circles around your clit, “Th-the day you were helping with the TV-“

Ran tutted quietly and you stopped talking immediately.

“Tell me something new,” he said, “I could’ve guessed that one.”

Your lips wobbled again, taking in another ragged breath. He kissed back up to your ear, biting at the lobe gently.

“I want you to tell me all the filthy thoughts you had while you were stuffin’ your pussy full ‘n pretending it was us,” Ran breathed out, the hand on your hip sliding up your body to palm one of your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

And distantly, you noticed your hips were free to move again but now any sense of coherence was gone as his tongue returned to tracing patterns on your skin, as one of his fingers continued to tease your clit while the other gave your breasts some much needed attention.

“I-I thought about both of you,” you couldn’t even see straight. You were dizzy as Rindou’s cock twitched inside you, begging for the chance to finally fuck you right; and your eyes were blurry as the tears fell faster, your body hot as embarrassment spread through you. “I thought-I thought about suckin’ you off while Rindou fucks me. ‘n-n I thought about doin’ it while our parents are in the house n-n Rindou keepin me quiet while you go down on me. ‘n I thought about tryna take you both at the same time-“ another sob ripped from your lips, “please, please let him fuck me please-“

Ran laughed, a mean, spiteful laugh that had you crying even harder, “Hear that, Rindou? Our pretty lil step sister is nothin’ but a cock hungry whore, and here we were thinking she was all cute and innocent.” Rindou didn’t answer, his breath heavy and quick as he tried to hold himself still. “I don’t think you can fit us both this time but maybe next time, yeah?”

Next time?

You didn’t get the chance to linger on the thought because at once your world spun and now instead of facing Rindou, you were facing Ran, Rindou’s cock still lodged deep inside of you, the slight switch in angle pushing him even further inside of you. You nearly fell forward, hands falling forward to brace yourself on Rindou’s thighs.

You felt a hand intertwine with your hair and you winced as it yanked your head up and back rather harshly, your eyes met Ran’s amused ones.

“We can put that pretty mouth of yours to work though.”

Ran didn’t even give you a chance to process his words before he was pushing your head down hard, he tapped the tip of his cock against your lips twice impatiently, “Open up,” he said sharply and your body reacted on its own as your lips parted on instinct, “Good girl.”

He was not kind as he pressed your head down even further, pushing his cock between your lips and into your mouth. He was big, longer and thicker than anything you had seen before and you had very little experience with giving head. You choked around him, struggling to take him in but he didn’t seem to care, only letting out a huff of amusement and then a groan as your throat spasmed around him.

You couldn’t breathe, and you couldn’t think straight to try to take in deeper breaths through your nose, although that wouldn’t have even mattered considering Ran held your face flush to his pelvis, cock stretching out your throat so much that you swore there was a bulge there.

“The fuck you waiting for, Rindou?” Ran asked his brother, and that was seemingly all Rindou needed because at once his hands found your hips, bringing you down hard as he thrusted up into you.

You choked on Ran’s cock, moan muffled and eyes half-knocked back at the feeling of him bullying his cock deep into you. Your mind felt absolutely blank and numb as Rindou began fucking up into you at a steady pace, the sloppy sound of his cock fucking into your cunt, the breathy moans spilling from his lips, the sound of you choking on Ran’s cock—it was all too much for you to handle.

“Don’t think I-fuck-forgot about you, Rindou,” Ran warned, “Actin’ all fuckin holier-than-thou that first night. Look at you now, fuckin’ your sister like a bitch in heat.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Rindou groaned, each snap of his hips getting just a bit rougher at his words—but you couldn’t even really register what they were saying, more focused on trying not to pass out because of the combined lack of air and intense pleasure.

“Hm?” Ran laughed, “That’s what you were tryna call me, wasn’t it? Who’s the sister-fucker now, Rindou?”

The noise that Rindou let out was shameless, “Fuck you, Ran,” Rindou choked out as his grip on your hips tightened, as he brought you down so fast and so hard on his cock that it had your vision flashing white as your body shuddered and trembled, hips jerking and thighs tense as you came all over his cock.

“Fuck,” Rindou moaned loud as he felt you clench down on his cock, fingers bruising your skin as he fucked you through your high.

Neither he nor Ran give you a chance to recover. Rindou picked his pace back up almost immediately and Ran had never even faltered in his.

He let out a low whistle before his grip on your hair tightened when you went half-limp trying to recover from your orgasm, continuing to rock his hips against your face at a steady pace, “That’s it, doll, relax your throat,” he said, but his words went in one ear out the other.

His pace shifted into a rougher, faster one, moving your head in time with your hips and you felt your vision start to go spotty. You couldn't breathe through your nose between each snap of his hips and even if you could, any air that might’ve made it to your lungs was torn right from them as Rindou drove his cock deep into you.

It was too much.

You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think except for a few garbled thoughts, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t do anything except lay there and take it—the overwhelming pleasure, the pain of your throat being stretched out, the sound of all of the filthy noises resounding through the room and god the taboo of it all. What would your father think if he walked in on you choking over step-brother’s cock while getting railed by your other? What would Mrs. Haitani think?

The tears streaming down your face fell faster but even as the shame began to hit you, you could feel the heat pooling in your stomach again—faster, more intense this time. The burn of your lungs, the burn of the stretch of your throat and cunt, it was pushing you right back over the edge again.

You gagged at one particularly harsh thrust of Ran’s hips, trying to pull off to get some air only for him to press your face right back down, nose flush to his pelvis, grinding his hips against you. Your vision went spotty again as you felt his cock drag roughly against your throat.

“Gunna fuckin’ cum,” Rindou gasped, and he was fucking you harder, faster, faster than you thought was possible. His hips snapping up at a pace that had you clawing at Ran’s thighs trying to keep yourself steady, moaning and choking as Rindou fucked you into your third high.

You should be embarrassed, you thought to yourself distantly as another muffled cry around Ran’s cock signaled you were cumming again. You could feel the sticky mixture of your drool and Ran’s precum dribbling down your chin, your tears staining your face, you were shaking and trembling and weak, you couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, rendered to such a humiliating state and the worst part was you couldn’t even bring yourself to care, too caught up in how good they were making you feel.

You felt Rindou’s hips stutter against you, his grip tightening on your hips as he grinded you down on his cock, cumming deep inside you with a shameless moan of your name. You felt full, too full, and warm, you could feel Rindou’s cum leaking from around his cock, dripping down your thighs.

You were barely conscious, your third orgasm having knocked all thought and reason from your mind, the only sensations you could make sense of were the feelings of their hands sliding against your body and their cocks buried deep inside you.

Rindou hissed when Ran didn’t let him pull you off of his cock, the overstimulation evidently a bit too much as his hips jerked instinctively against yours, but Ran was more concentrated on keeping you in place so he could finish himself off.

You heard him let out a pretty moan, and that was the only warning you had before he was stuffing his cum right down your throat. You choked and spluttered, trying your best to swallow what you could but it was just too much.

Ran pulled out of you after shooting half a load down your throat, seemingly pleased with having you gagging over his cum, attempting and failing to swallow it all. He held you in place by the hair as he stroked his cock a few more times, head tilted back and a low groan escaping his lips as he painted your face and chest white, releasing the rest of his cum onto your body.

He let go of your hair and you lost the only support you had, falling limp on Rindou’s thighs, unable to gather the strength to move. You whimpered as Rindou pulled out of you, shifting you off from where you were still limp on top of him onto the bed next to them.

You felt hazy and exhausted, your body already felt sore and you were trembling on the blankets as Rindou and Ran talked over you but you couldn’t even make out what they were saying.

And while your mind wasn’t exactly functioning properly in the moment, you somehow had a distinct feeling that your “fuck them to get them out of your system” plan just wasn’t going to cut it.

Patreon + Unsaid Vow Update

Hi guys!

Hope you are all doing well, I have a really good feeling for October and I hope you do too :)

I recently made a Patreon and it's under review, once it gets approved I can officially post my teirs.

Right now here is what I am thinking;

$10 USD for Beta reading + Early Access

$5 USD for Early Access

So beta reading entails access to my works in progress, and you get to help me! I often need ppl to bounce ideas off of, as well as just overall another set of eyes to catch grammatical errors and so on. Right now I'm leaning towards just giving these people commenting abilities on my WIP, as well as starting a little discord chat for brainstorming!

Early access is for when the chapter is completed and fully beta-read. Before I upload it on Tumblr, you will have access to the chapter a full two weeks before it's uploaded on here. Also, I'm thinking of adding some scenes just for the early-access people. Most likely smut, but I don't know that yet as I go where the story takes me lol.

Okay, onto what you've all been waiting for... The Unsaid Vow

I currently have 4.7k down for the first part, so this would be the perfect time to get some beta readers on the doc. And then yes, when it's fully finished, I'd like to provide early access.

Then maybe next month (since teirs are billed monthly), I will do the same for These Things Take Time or Quarter Quell or even Unsaid Vow again, depending on what my patrons want.

So if this is something you'd be interested in, please stay tuned~

62 notes View Post

maboiisuga

2 months ago

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

1,234K notes View Post

maboiisuga

2 years ago

hi guys! i know that there’s discourse about readers asking for part 2 ad nauseam but like i do want to point out that requesting a part 2 when a drabble/fic literally implies finality at the end suggests either you were not reading the fic at all before you asked for part 2 or you didn’t get it which isn’t exactly encouraging to the writer

if you do want a continuation of a drabble/fic, rather than asking for a part 2 you can ask the specific question you want answered! that way you’re sorta showing you actually read and appreciated what they wrote and also aren’t just demanding more to read but are invested in the story in a tangible way

82 notes View Post

maboiisuga

1 year ago

LIMERENCE | jeon jungkook

[ mini series ] [ masterlist ]

lim·er·ence

noun

the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.

LIMERENCE | 18+ | s | a … ex!jungkook

ONE SHOT

summary: a recent discovery of old VCR tapes takes you down a rabbit hole of self-pity, remembering what you once had and how it all went down the drain over youthful mistakes. suddenly, you find yourself playing back the old tapes of the best relationship you’ve ever had and all you can think about is how to get it back—if you could get it back

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ exes au | Y2K | grunge┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

warnings: TBD. angst. smut. [jk and oc in videos: 18-20 | jk and oc now: 26]

COMING SOON

[ song inspo : do I wanna know — arctic monkeys {crawling back to you, ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?}]

VIDEO LOGS :

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 3 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 8 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 11 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 14 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 19 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 22 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

․ ∘ ⊹ ✰ ┆ JJK 24 ┆ ✰ ⊹ ∘ .

COMING SOON

…

permanent taglist: @notmyfaultbutours @rerefundslocals @fandems @sugaluvmyg @guvgguk @kimyishin @libra04 @kooromiwrld @classycreationcupcake-blog g @alwaysdreamingnotsleeping @cherrymonlightt @nikkiordonez12 @asking4-sanity @thvlover r @saweetspoiled @uwu2rawr @shaybts-blog @babycandy111 @tearyjjeon @joons-uparupa @jeonninja @yellowcupid08 @02010802faves @knudsenheggedel @skzthinker @unnatae @aurorthi @beautywine @95ene @taekookstata @lilliankoo @shescharlie @annenakamura a @lesoleile @burnahtsw @babybella337 @kooloveys @ku-ku @chaelvrx @minnie-mouser22 @Imeneghd @whoa-jo @evajeonsworld @marvelbun @sunnikthv @kochycooky @heyhowyoudoin3 @acielelyseen @giselleswifeee @jeonjk25 @ilikeitlikethatt @bangmechanpls @lvr2seok @badbyeyoongi @jaerisdiction @watermelonjuice15 @artmsmaid @xyahrinx @angeleen777 @jooniesxbby @brillantdarling

1K notes View Post

maboiisuga

8 months ago

polarity | 06 yandere! jungkook

pairing: yandere!jungkook x (f) reader

genre: yandere

warnings: 18+ , toxic relationships, unhealthy and obsessive behavior , mentions of mental health, manipulation, blackmail, cheating

word count: 21.k

summary: Your best friend’s new boyfriend becomes infatuated with you..

Playlist

Parts: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

❄️CS | 03 JK

A/N: im delirious after editing this so if you see any error , please pretend you didn’t 🥴💕💕!!! ily <3

—-

The anticipating silence filled the room as you stared down the familiar face in front of you. You could hear a ringing in your ears, the anger in your body simmering down and being replaced with sheer panic. Suddenly your mind was now moving rapidly through every possible reason as to why Hoseok could be here. Had your text messages been read? Had there been a slip up on your part? Had you mentioned him to Jungkook? What did he know? How did he know? Did they know each other? Your feet shifted to the side and you took a step back.

For a moment it felt as if this was some sort of soap opera playing out in front of you and you were just a pathetic puppet being wired by her master. Jungkook was the deranged puppeteer in this circus and you were the biggest fool of them all.

You inched forward, instinctively wanting to tell Hoseok to get away from him. Just the thought of him near Jungkook made you nervous. Let alone watching him being sat so comfortably in his apartment.

“What are you doing here?” You asked in a breathless whisper, the clear shock evident on your entire physique.

Hoseok’s eyes shifted between you and Jungkook, tensing up at your question. He seemed not only confused but upset. Your eyes didn’t miss the soju bottle next to him. The sight left you even more than perplexed . Why was Jungkook seemingly having a casual drink with the same boy he had threatened before? How had he managed to lure him into the apartment in the first place? How was he here? The worst of thoughts began to emerge in your head.

“That’s a little rude, isn’t it?” Jungkook feigned innocence, leaning in to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear like he often did in endearment. However, in this particular moment nothing about it felt sweet or endearing. “Considering you’re the one who invited him over.”

What?

Your face scrunched up in complete astonishment. You slapped his hand away and put more space between the two of you.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t invite anyone.” Your voice wentup in pitch towards the end. “What’s going on?”

You look between the both of them, they shared a swift knowing glance at each other before Jungkook locked his gaze onto you again.

What was that?

Something was so off. Not only were you terribly confused but it felt familiar almost, terribly familiar. It didn’t feel as if you had walked in on a clear betrayal. It felt as if you had walked into some sick kind of inside joke. A set up meant to leave you in the dark. It didn’t felt like you were the one that deserved an explanation.

But you noticed one thing. Jungkook’s prying eyes poorly concealed something else in them. Seething jealousy. A shudder left you as you braced for what he was going to do. You’ve messed up horribly.

You felt Hoseok’s eyes on you now too, his expression changing into a frown as he studied you.

“I told you,” Jungkook spoke, his dark eyes didn’t stray from you but he was clearly addressing the other man in the room. “She was playing you.”

You snap your head back at Hoseok in shock at the words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth. You weren’t expecting them but they helped confirm your suspicions. The puzzle pieces were still scattered but you slowly began to watch them fit together as you took in everything in front of you.

This couldn’t be happening.

“What the hell are you talking about!” You shrieked out but immediately took a deep breath, feeling yourself start to lose control of the emotions overwhelming you. A need to reel yourself back in took over, a part of you afraid of triggering another panic attack that you couldn’t handle at the moment. You flared your arms up as you neared towards Hoseok who looked more upset by the second.

“You texted me.” Hoseok stated shaking his head at you. “You sent me this location and told me to come over, that you were ‘really needed me right now’.”

You stare at him, freezing in your steps as you rapidly shake your head in denial. What was he talking about? Had Jungkook taken your phone somehow without your knowledge? But how? He hadn’t asked you to unlock your phone the other day. You hadn’t texted Hoseok since yesterday, vaguely giving him a run down of your day. In fact, you had been texting him far less these days as you were determined to still let him down gently. You figured it was working. Which is why you couldn’t believe your eyes at him being here. You would never tell him to meet you anywhere. Not with Jungkook’s inquisitive nature that you had barely escaped earlier. Let alone lead him right into a lion’s den.

“No, no.” You explained, pointing towards Jungkook. “He must’ve contacted you somehow, I never texted you! I don’t understand what the fuck is going on but I never texted you that!”

This was ridiculous. You gripped your bag and slung it off your shoulder. You began to search for your phone, eagerly needing to provide proof of this insane claim but Hoseok continued his accusation.

“You told me you broke up with him yet you led me directly to your very much still boyfriend’s place.” He continued you with a scoff. “The text came from your contact. What the hell are you doing? Why lie about something like that? Is this a sick game or some shit?”

The text came from you.

That was literally impossible. Jungkook didn’t know your passcode.

Did he?

Even if he did, you would’ve noticed he went through it. Wouldn’t you? You didn’t recall leaving your phone unattended. Or did you? The days here didn’t even feel real, you were struggling to recall much of anything right now. But most of all, you didn’t like the guilt you felt at the thought of Jungkook going through your phone. You should be angry and you were but another part of you also felt ashamed. It felt exactly like what you had felt that morning he confronted you about your phone and how you had thought you fooled him successfully for once.

The walls were closing in on you as you finally found your phone. Your fingers shook while tapping against the screen.

“She lied.” Jungkook chimed in. From the corner of your eye you could see him still observing you as he walked right over to the island. “She does this whenever we have a fight, she just wants attention.”

No.

You swallowed, your eyes stinging with newfound tears as you opened your texts, easily finding Hoseok’s contact that you placed under a girl’s name. Your closed your eyes tightly, letting out a silent curse. You were right there was no texts of you sending a message to meet up, your screen just showed the many texts of you casually talking and politely declining to meet up with him. But it was then you realized your mistake.

These messages didn’t rid you of any guilt. They only dug your grave further.

You had been deceptive. Not with malicious intent but you had been nonetheless. You had lied to not only Hoseok, but to Jungkook.The latter unsurprisingly filled you with much more dread. No matter which way you looked at it, this looked exactly how he intended it to look like. The story of an unfaithful lover that had been caught red handed with another man by her husband.

Jungkook fit the part with ease with the way his demeanor promised silence before the storm. The forced coolness in his tone was hiding a beast beneath it. You suppose you fit the part too by how dry your mouth had gotten. You found yourself suddenly not wanting to meet his scrutinizing gaze. You went behind his back, didn’t you? You lay in his bed every night, ate his food, enjoyed his luxurious and in return you sneak around. Did you not deserve his wrath? Perhaps you deserved much more.

Another skipped heartbeat.

What was wrong with you? The rational side of you was slipping away little by little. It knew well that this wasn’t your fault but your feelings were fighting strongly against all rationality. If it wasn’t your fault then why were you hesitating to show them your phone? If you were so innocent then why did you feel so dirty? You gripped your phone painfully tight officially panicking as you delayed to turn it over like you were so eagerly planning on doing a moment ago. How could you be so idiotic? Why didn’t you delete these texts? Why didn’t you block him all together? You’ve not only screwed yourself over but you’ve taken Hoseok down with you.

Jungkook seemed to notice your struggle, his mask slightly slipping.

“ What’s the matter, baby?” The corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. “Show your proof.”

He practically spit out the last word, twisted amusement taking over his gaze. You felt your lips tremble as you tried your hardest to swallow down a sob.

“Jungkook.” You pleaded with wide eyes. “Please, why are you doing this?”

His expression sharpened at that. Instead of taking pity in you, like you foolishly assumed he might, he glared daggers at you. His weakness seemed to be seeing you break and seeing you break down in tears. As sick as it was he did once tell you he hated to see you cry and you cling to that slither of hope that would appeal to his more softhearted side. But of course you should’ve known better than to trust you had Jungkook figured out in the slightest.

“Me?” He asked you incredulously, his mask fully falling now as you saw his eyes flash with a familiar type of hurt you had seen in them before. The same type of hurt when you had yelled at him that you would never love him. You took yet another cautious step back, surprised at how much the look seemed to leave you completely chilled this time. You didn’t remember feeling this breathless last time you had caused it.

“How do you have the audacity to say that to me.” He sneered at you and one stride towards you had him closing most of the space you’d been creating between you. “How about you turn over the phone screen and show me how much you’ve been lying to my face?”

Another step.

“How about you tell me exactly where you’ve been all day.”

Another skipped heartbeat.

He knew where’d you been.

“No.” You continued to shake your head and turned your frantic gaze towards the other poor man in the room.

“Hoseok, you need to listen to me. This isn’t what it looks like, he’s doing this on purpose to-"

Jungkook’s cruel laugh cut you off, he ran a hand through his dark locks in disbelief. You watched in horror as he played the betrayed boyfriend role so convincingly because he genuinely did feel like you betrayed him. You felt your chest ache at the sight. Why did it ache? Why did it hurt to see him like this? Not only had you not even sent that message to Hoseok but you didn’t owe Jungkook any sense of loyalty. You didn’t owe him anything.

But the broken look in the large doe eyes that you had spent every night looking into since you got here made you feel like you owed him the world. You saw the corner of his lip twitch as he tried to blink away his glossy stare.

“It’s exactly what it looks like.” Jungkook stated with determination. So sure of himself. He tilted his head to the side, turning to Hoseok. “Did you know what she had just finished doing just before she received your adorable first text?”

You stiffen at his implication and at the way he comes up behind you. His breath tickles your ear as his fingers come to brush your hair out of your face and wraps his other arm around your waist. You let out a small gasp. The hand on your hair slowly runs down the back of your neck and inner shoulder. The cold sensation of his rings making you involuntarily shiver.

“Or rather who she was doing.” Before you can react, he pulls you further into him and places a kiss on the top of your head. “You have no idea how pretty she looks on top of me.”

Your jaw hung at his awful crude words and you harshly pull yourself away from him, quickly putting back the previous distance in between you. Your face felt like it was on fire. You had nearly forgotten the undeniable mean streak Jungkook possessed. It had been easy to pretend it had never existed with how sweetly he had treated you all this time you’ve shared his space and his bed. How quickly had you forgotten the many sides of him, the ugly sides that came out when things didn’t go his way and when his doll had overstepped her restraints.

But it was obvious that this was more than Jungkook being cruel, he was making a point. Staking his claim.

“Stop it! What’s wrong with you?” You didn’t need to even look towards Hoseok’s direction to know how incredibly uncomfortable he was. It was clear in the way he cleared his throat and went to stand up.

“There wasn’t a need for all of this, I would’ve never asked you out if I’d known you two had just been on some kind of break.”

“We never broke up, she just loves making me jealous whenever we have ….disagreements.” Jungkook replied for you with a smirk spreading on his lips that reminded you of a devious child.

You were breathing heavily now, struggling to ground yourself as you felt the awful dread start traveling through you once again. It was triggered and you couldn’t do anything to stop it now. You had mere seconds left before your mind was burdened by sheer panic.

“She was just using you, unfortunately you were the perfect bait.” Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you. You watched nervously as he walked back over to the counter and leaned on it, directly facing Hoseok. You could practically hear his grin. “You need to realize how girls work, you seem a bit inexperienced .“

Your phone dropped with a loud ‘clank’ but the two men didn’t seem to even notice it. It may have looked like you simply threw it to onto the floor in rage but your hands hand not stopped shaking. You felt the hideous need to run your nails down your arms and face . It was taking great effort not to do so, you opted for running them down frantically through your hair instead. He was turning the tables completely and successfully. He was playing this off as a typical unsteady relationship where he made you look like the dramatic girlfriend who was simply acting out when there was trouble in paradise.

Hoseok let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head as he stood up from his seat. He seemed to be completely over it.

“Whatever, you need to tell your crazy girlfrie-"

“You need to learn to take threats more seriously. I told you to stay away from her .” You heard Jungkook cut him off with now a much less neutral tone. All casualness gone. You didn’t need to look at him to know why the air seemed heavier now, you wanted to tell Hoseok to be quiet and not poke him further but you could barely focus your spiraling mind on anything other than the feeling of your chest tightening.

“Listen, I didn’t think it was all that serious. She never actually told me she had a boyfriend. You can’t blame me for not knowing right?” There was a slight defensiveness to how Hoseok said it and you couldn’t help but feel bad. He’d been blindsided completely. When he spared a glance at you his face scrunched up in seeming concern at your worsening state of panic.

“Right.” Jungkook nodded. His grin still present but it faltered a little when he noticed Hoseok’s gaze on you.

“Hoseok, please listen to me. I-I did lie but it wasn’t because of what he’s saying. I wasn’t playing with you. At first I was trying to-” A frustrated sigh left you as you tried to figure out how to explain yourself. You couldn’t tell him the complete truth, not in front of Jungkook. His menacing blackmail still hovered over you like your own personal grey cloud.

“To let you down easily.” You cringed at your confession. It sounded much worse saying it out loud and you saw Jungkook raising both his eyebrows in mocking manner. You glared at the realization that hit you.

He knew you wouldn’t able to explain yourself. That’s why he brought Hoseok here. He wanted to see you cower and admit your mistake in front of him with no way out. Perhaps he even knew he’d trigger your anxiety by doing so. He’s managed to gather every key that unlocked your weaknesses.

Hoseok clenched his jaw, his lips set in a straight line. He looked like he couldn’t wait to sprint out the door. You knew you’d find no help in him or hope he’d see through Jungkook’s manipulation anymore. Now he was convinced you’ve dragged him into some unnecessary relationship drama.

“How considerate of you, baby.” Jungkook continued his taunting but you heard his true displeasure beneath it. He turned his attention back to Hoseok and circled the other side of the island where he sat.

The apartment was starting to feel much smaller than you recalled.

“So now that we cleared that up and there’s no room for pesky excuses . I would very much like you to stay the fuck out of my relationship. “

You flinched at the venom in his tone. The rage he’d been burying coming to the surface and poured itself all over the last sentence.

Seeing just how close Jungkook had gotten to him wasn’t helping your growing panic. He was taller than Hoseok but that wasn’t what was intimidating about him. It was his entire demeanor sending off such drastic mixed signals .There was nothing worse than not knowing how to predict an opponent in the slightest.

Jungkook placed a rough hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.

You swore your heart stopped.

“And I suggest you start by blocking my girlfriend’s number from your phone and forget she ever existed to you.” He leaned into Hoseok’s ear, his eyes tracing back to you as that mean lazy smile remained on his lips. From the outside it seemed like the typical comrade bro hug, almost friendly in manner. Two good-looking college boys sharing some type of gossip.

“I’d hate to show you what a name like mine can do to a nobody like you.” If he had meant to whisper it then he failed terribly because you had heard his threat perfectly. “Money talks a lot around here, I’m sure you know that. I could make you lose everything you’ve worked for or come very close to it. You won’t get a second warning.”

There was a few seconds of silence. Or minutes. You really couldn’t tell.

“I get it, I swear I don’t want any problems.” Hoseok replied sounding more peeved than shaken by your insane ‘boyfriend’s’ words. He probably assumed he was just another entitled rich boy who was throwing around empty threats because his ego was hurt.

He’d be half right but there was a lot more wrong with Jungkook than his spoilt attitude and those threats were not as empty as he thought.

Jungkook stared at him for a long moment, whether to take in his words or perhaps looking for an indication of a lie you weren’t sure but once he seemed satisfied he gave him a slow nod.

“Good.” He finally took a step away from him and grabbed the soju bottle next to him, shoving it into Hoseok’s chest. “Need me to call for an Uber? I heard bus fares are quite high nowadays.”

Hoseok’s face flushed but you were certain it wasn’t due to the alcohol.

“I can walk.” He grumbled as he began to walk towards the front door.

“Suit yourself.” Jungkook flashed him another smile, this time displaying his perfect teeth. It was an uncanny sight.

You hated yourself for not even managing to get a another word out, too engrossed in your own doomsday. The fleeing sensation of humiliation didn’t have room to properly settle, overridden by much more powerful emotions that never shared their home in your tortured mind. The nails were now starting to dig into your arms, you barely felt Hoseok walk past but you for sure didn’t miss l the last nasty glance he sent your way before the sound of the door slamming shut echoed through the room.

An immediate sob left your lips, your knees slowly gave out and you let yourself fall against the cold ceramic tiles. You lifted your head up slightly, watching the man in front of you with tears pooling your vision. He had never not been quick to comfort you during your attacks but this time he simply stood there with no intention of running to comfort you. Instead he let out a sigh, his eyes remained on the door with an odd look on his face. For a moment, it seemed like he was holding back a sob himself. His eyes shifting to the corner of the room before over to you. He bit his bottom lip harshly as he ran a hand over his face.

“Why the tears baby? You caused this.” He muffled into his own hands, turning his back to you. You watched his long legs paced back and forth between the small space of where you lay. Watching him run his fingers run over his now messy hair.

You continued to sob quietly, breaths growing more shallow. How could he say that to you? You had caused this?

“Get up. We need to get you into a cold shower if you want to feel better.” You heard him order as he struggled to contain a steady tone. He turned around, placing a hand on the marble counter and leaning his weight on it causing his muscles to flex underneath his thin t-shirt. His bottom lip was now swollen and red. Eyes puffy and distraught.

It was so unfair. All of it.

“You hacked my phone, didn’t you? Because I didn’t send that text to Hoseok and how else would you have known….where I was.” You muttered the last part mostly to yourself, the idea becoming more of a fact than a theory. You had assumed he had simply followed you but if he had gone as far as hacking your phone then he surely would’ve used it to track your location.

There was no way he had followed you either, the timing wouldn’t have made much sense and you were certain you would’ve spotted his car at some point considering how careful you had been the entire commute there.

You jump suddenly at the sound of his hand slamming down harshly on the counter.

“No shit.” Jungkook spit out and you draw back. The abrupt action caught you off guard. You had never witnessed him physically express his anger before.

“Now.get.up.” He repeated. “I can’t help you if you’re sobbing on the floor.”

“I don’t want anything from you!” You shouted back, sending him the most hateful look you could muster. He blinked, eyebrows furrowing as still he refused to look your way but you swore you saw a flash of regret on his face.

He took a deep breath and regained most of his composure. His jaw clenched.

“What did you expect? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? There will be no secrets between us. I won’t allow it.”

Well, wasn’t that just rich coming from him.

“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.

He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.

“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”

He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.

Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.

“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”

You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.

“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.

“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.

He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.

Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.

“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”

You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?

“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.

“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"

“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”

Again

“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.

God, you really couldn’t breathe.

“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.

“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”

You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.

“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”

He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.

“How many times must I prove my love to you?”

This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.

It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.

No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time.

Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.

“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.

A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.

“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.

You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.

“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”

His words sink in.

You hadn’t wanted that all and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound so disturbed. It rattled you to the core. You jumped forward to try and salvage what was left of the ruin you may have caused yourself and others.

“Jungkook n-no. I don’t want that. I don’t think that of you.” Breathlessly you pleaded with him. Not even a minute ago you wanted to rid yourself of his touch on you and now you were bringing your own hands to his face. The roles reversing with haste.

“But you just said it, baby. You don’t think this is love.” His sharp look was not budging. “What choice do you leave me if you won’t even believe my feelings for you after everything I’ve done? I’ll have to make you see it, one way or another.”

One way or another. That could mean so many things for someone like him and you didn’t want to find out which method he’d try out first.

“I-I do believe them. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Don’t lie to me.” He said with a disillusioned look and clasped your wrists. “For the third time tonight.”

Your fingers run down his cheeks as you as you near your face to his again.

“I’m not! I’m sorry. I’m sorry but please don’t do anything. I’m begging you, please.” It was pathetic . You were pathetic but you suppose you had already lost your dignity a long time ago. There wasn’t much else to lose and you weren’t sure you’d ever manage to have a spine when it came to the boy in front of you.

He eyed you.

“What it is it that you’re so afraid I’ll do?” He muttered, his breath once again warm against your lips.

You frowned. It was a trick question, wasn’t it? Was he genuinely asking you?

“I just don’t want you to hurt anyone.” You stressed, your fingers trembled terribly against his cheeks.

You felt his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists in a circular motion gently. The soft action wasn’t to fully soothe you but it did distract you for split second.

“Anyone?” Jungkook asked lowly. It stumped you a bit. You tried to find some clarity in his fixed look but it didn’t display much of anything. In fact, you swore his eyes were inviting you to some sort of challenge.

So you simply nodded in response.

“Hm.” He hummed, his upper lip lifting slightly before he nodded back.

Was he agreeing with you?

You let out the smallest sigh of relief. It probably looked pained.

His hands then fully clasped your wrists and he stood up without warning. The force of it dragged you up with him due to his locked grip. He tugged you against him as he made his way down the hallway. You kept quiet, already starting to feel your body weight itself down like it usually did when your panic attack lost its strength. The numbness traveled through your every muscle. Jungkook had released your wrists and instead guided you by the shoulder with your body remaining pressed into his chest.

He opened the bedroom door and guided you towards the bathroom. The unease in your stomach had not left but it was easier to ignore with how heavy your eyelids felt. You felt him suddenly leave your side and brush past you to go turn on the shower. You caught a glimpse of yourself on the large mirror above the black vanity sink . The teary gaze and snot dripping from your nose. Your wet cheeks and swollen eyes. Your gaze accidentally caught sight of Jungkook while he slid open the shower door. His stare was hollow.

A look you don’t remember ever seeing on him before.

You looked away, unsure of what to make of it. When he approached you again, you didn’t protest as he stripped you both down. Once in the shower, you kept your back to him and fully faced the shower head that washed away any lingering nerves. You couldn’t help but zoom in on the ombré ceramic tile design in front of you as your mind drifted off again. Jungkook’s hands massaged your shoulders gently as he ran the loofa down your back. The act was intimate and normal. But your thoughts didn’t let you rest for the remainder of the night. Not even when you were both in bed, tucked under the soft warm sheets. Not even when he cuddled beside you, rubbing your back continuously and you listened his steady breathing.

The normalcy of it all didn’t break your trance because you were still thinking of the look Jungkook had given you. The daring glint in his eyes masking the seething nature. The vacant look you caught of him in the mirror.

Something wasn’t right.

—

It was ache in your shoulders that woke you.The soft gel pillow underneath your cheek felt wet and you inwardly cursed and wiped your mouth.You thought you had dropped drooling months ago. You had yet to open your eyes, wanting to stay this oblivious and at peace before a certain reality hit you. It took a few seconds for the disorientation to fade away as you slowly blinked up at the familiar white ceiling with the recessed lighting now completely shut off due to the natural sunlight illuminating the space.

You lifted your head and let out a soft groan at the stiffness in your muscles.

It was quiet.

The memories of last night came flooding back in rapidly and your stomach churned at them. You pushed them away as much as you could. If only it had been a nightmare. How much you wished it had never happened and how much you wished you hadn’t walked out the door yesterday. At this point, you weren’t sure if you cared about if what Eunji had said was true or not. If anything, it had left you even more puzzled about everything. Both of them had played you in one way or another. It seemed like they were taking turns, tugging on each of your arms in complete opposite directions.

You craned your neck and looked around the empty room. Jungkook wasn’t in bed but he usually wasn’t, he had made it a habit to cook breakfast before you woke.

Flinging your feet to the side , you climbed off the bed and made your way out the door and into the hallway. You could smell coffee and hear shuffling. When you made into the living room you came to a halt upon seeing Jungkook in the kitchen like you expected. He seemed to be chopping something on the cutting board, a tomato maybe.

“Morning, baby.” He greeted you with a warm smile when he noticed you. He was dressed in casual pajama pants with an oversized black t-shirt. His hair was messy, clearly he’d not bothered to touch it yet but it made him look more endearing.

“Morning.” You reply with a small smile of your own despite the shake in your voice. He was acting like nothing had happened and you didn’t know if you should feel immense relief at that or not. It didn’t feel natural but you could very well be making something out of nothing. As you approach him though, your eyeline shifts to the floor and instantly a realization hits you.

Your eyebrows knit together as your eyes search the ground and walk towards the same spot you were last night.

“What it is it?” Jungkook asks when you fail to find what you’re looking for. You glance up at him, his curious gaze had followed yours to the floor.

“M-My phone. I dropped it last night. Did you see it?”

“Oh that.” He returns to pouring orange juice into a glass, the eggs on the stove sizzling behind him. “ I have it.”

You blink in confusion but try to conceal it.

“Oh.” You swallow. “Can you give it to me?”

Jungkook meets your gaze and slides over the glass of orange juice to you. You thank him quietly before taking a seat on the tall stool of the island.

“And why would I do that?” Your in the midst of taking a sip of the juice when he says it so you snort a little into the glass, assuming he’s joking for a split second.

But you notice the raise of his eyebrow, eyeing your movements as he awaits your response.

Tensing, you put the glass down and frown.

“Um,” You don’t even know what to say. “Well, because I need it.”

It came out more so like a question when you had intended it to sound like a firm reply. Jungkook notices your poor attempt as well, a smirk threatening to spread his lips.

“For what? To text another library boy?” He placed both his hands on the counter, leaning foward. He wasn’t that close but you fought the urge to lean back. His eyes narrowed into slits as bit the inside of his cheek.

His words make your mouth dry despite the juice you had just taken a sip of. Apparently the disturbed thoughts that had haunted you all night might’ve had some validity.

Yet this didn’t shock you any less.

But what did you think was going to happen? You had ignored all the warnings. Jungkook’s jealous side was something you never wanted to witness again and you had feeling you were only scratching the surface.

“Jungkook, I didn’t do anything. I was only trying to let him off easily. I-I wasn’t looking for anything else. I already explained this last night . I felt bad for what you had threatened him with when we weren’t even together.” It wasn’t a lie but you knew it didn’t matter by the way his expression didn’t budge one bit. Whatever innocent crush you had felt for Hoseok was long gone. Not only due to the sheer embarrassment that had occurred that no doubt had left him with the worst impression of you but you were not willing to put him in Jungkook’s radar again. You deeply regretted ever texting him at all.

It was too late to try to explain anything to Hoseok anyway. Even if you ever got him alone again you were sure he’d run the opposite direction at just your mere sight. He probably thought you were crazy.

This was crazy.

“I’m confused.” Jungkook’s scrutinizing gaze trapped you in place. “You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.”

“I-what?”

“You said you didn’t want me to hurt anyone.” He repeats lowly.

“I-I don’t-”

“Good. And I won’t as long as you stay in line.” He shrugs as if he’s discussing the weather and not the confiscation of your phone.

“But I need my phone, I need to text my parents.”

“I already did. They’re fine.” He gives you a tight-lipped smile but you could see how much he was trying to control the rage that traveled through him. The tightness of his grip on the edges of his counter, the veins on his hands and arms popping out slightly.

“Those petty excuses won’t work on me. You can only blame yourself as to why I don’t trust you anymore baby.” His eyes trailed down you. “Did you really think I’d be okay with you texting other men or anyone who shows interest in you for that matter?”

You looked away from him.

“No! That’s not what it was like.” You sputtered, feeling that sense of guilt invade you once again.

You heard him scoff.

“Have I been too nice, baby? I have, haven’t I? Because I don’t know what gave the impression that you could ever run back to that bitch or flirt with others to ‘let them down easy’ and think I would sit back and watch like your little lap dog.”

You watched his controlled breathing, afraid to make the slightest move that could set him off.

Deciding not to reply , you simply watched him and hoped he’d gather himself but your silence seemed to only edge him further because he pulled a hand away from the counter and reached over to take your glass away. You saw him twirl it around in his hand, your gaze fully lifting to meet his due to the unexpected action and he glared at you as he took a sip from it.

“Did you know he had a sister? Your little library boy.” He clarifies as he swallows, setting the glass back down. “She just got married. Would be a shame if a pair of newly weds suffered an unfortunate accident…or any other type of terrible luck.”

You were completely floored by his words. A full body chill running through you. You wished you had heard him wrong but the way he studied you expectedly made it all too real.

Were you that surprised though? How could you be? It wasn’t the first time Jungkook had made these sort of malicious threats. It was the very thing he had done when he had gotten you alone for the first time. There was no limits for the wealthy and well-read.

What really struck you was how and why he would go as far to involve completely innocent people that had no connection to either of you and exactly how long he had known about this? Had he accessed your private texts recently or had known of them for a while now? If it was the latter that would mean he has deliberately let you text Hoseok up until yesterday. Why had he waited that long? Why didn’t he confront you about it immediately?

Given your frantic state last night, you hadn’t even thought about the possibility. You had thought his actions were impulsive and reckless, that he had find out about the texts when he had tracked your location. But that didn’t make sense , did it? Because then why did Jungkook already know so much about Hoseok’s family? It was unlikely for even him to acquire this type of information overnight . Your stomach sunk at the knowledge that you really had underestimated Jungkook again. Because this suddenly didn’t seem like a simple impulsive act of jealousy. It seemed much more calculating

“Leave them alone, Jungkook. Please don’t involve anyone else into this. I’m begging you.” You spoke gently despite the mounting fear of upsetting him with one wrong word.

“I didn’t involve anyone , baby. You did.” He replied just as gently. It felt demeaning but the side of you that had began to cater to him thought he might’ve had a point.

“Okay.” You nodded. “Okay I did, I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry about it. You told him to block me, there’s nothing to worry about.”

He pushed himself away fully from the counter and came up beside you. He gave you back your glass of juice. He seemed much taller from this sitting angle and you watched him carefully as he played with your necklace. His necklace.

“You’ll have plenty of time to show me just how sorry you are, baby.” He mumbled to you as if he was granting you a token of consideration. Running his hands across the butterfly pendant.

“Because I’ve also withdrawn your college transfer. It really did pain me to do, I don’t like seeing you upset.” You looked up at him wide eyed and tried to process what he was saying.”But it pains me even more that you were so willing to discard me and what I felt after all I’ve done is love you.”

That rage was brewing behind his dark eyes. You realize now that it had never left, only fooled you into thinking he would bend to your will.

Discard him? What was he talking about? There was more than just insecurity behind those words. You could see the clear trigger in his entire demeanor. It was as if he was hell-bent on punishing you for something you never did.

“J-Jungkook please, I have classes I need to finish . I can’t drop out. My parents, they will-”

“Shhh, it’s temporary.” He halts your rambling with with a squeeze to your shoulder. “I can get a word in to enroll you next semester or whenever I see fit.”

That didn’t make you feel better but held back any protests.

“It’s all up to you really. It’s up you to show me when I can trust you again.” He leaned down to give you a kiss on the top of your head before brushing past you and walking back over towards the opposite side again.

“Now let’s eat, I made your favorite. I hope you like it.”

You watch him turn off the stove and you were a little surprised not anything was burnt. You let him plate the breakfast without uttering a word because all that was running through your head was how stupid you were for ever letting him take care of the transfer. You had paid a much bigger price than you thought. Jungkook was no longer satisfied enough knowing he had your body and compliance. He wanted every bit of you.

Because you suspected what had truly scared him last night.

The thought of someone else taking your mind and heart away from what he thought was already his. For what he worked so hard for. He didn’t want to share any side of you. He was frightened of what threat Hoseok and Eunji had both posed against him. He had you physically but it was breaking him inside that he didn’t have you fully yet. Mind and soul.

That was it, wasn’t it?

He wanted to frighten you and push the limits. Show a new face. A new side. Because nobody really could save you from him except himself.

He was going to show you what a mistake you made not choosing the correct mask.

—

As the weeks had gone by, you had grown more disillusioned with the hope of returning to college.

During the first week, Jungkook had not seem to be wavering on his decision no matter how much you had indirectly pleaded with him. It had been made clear that you wouldn’t get far with your methods to suck up to him in the way you had.

While he welcomed your touch and over enthusiastic displays of affection, he had only been entertaining the idea of it. It had reminded you of the time he’d seen right through your performance at the cafe but unlike then, this time he had not stopped or called you out right away.

He watched how far you’d go.

And you had gone far.

By the second week you had begin to simply cater to his every need. Waking up to cook breakfast for him instead for a change, not bothering him while he worked in his office and also cooking dinner. Then you moved on to displaying more physical attention, initiating kisses and prolonging hugs despite your racing heartbeat at the closeness. You surprisingly grew so used to it that it almost began to do on instinct. Due to spacing it out through the weeks, you had thought you’d made progress .

It was not too much all at once like your previous mistake.

Your feelings were also not entirely fabricated this time which made it more dangerous. Your attachment to Jungkook had been growing as a result of the isolation he had caused you. It had already been the case before the incident and now it only grew stronger despite your efforts to keep a level head.

But you had grown desperate when the pressuring reality hit you each night of what your parents would think of you slacking off and what it could mean to not have any future planned out. To have wasted all their efforts and money just for a stupid mistake on your part. You had not been able to even access your bank account since you had been left with no phone and you had not dared ask to burrow Jungkook’s MacBook yet in order to not draw any unnecessary attention.

You thought you could gain it all back and that you had not just tried hard enough.

However, the incident that occurred the very night you exhausted your last efforts had been a horrid and rookie mistake. It was your first and only strike up until now and the memory served as a reminder to not tread in murky waters.

You waited for Jungkook’s reaction as he took the first bite. Gripping your own chopsticks tightly, you eyed the meal you had spent nearly two hours preparing, making sure you had perfected it to his liking. He nodded immediately, his doe eyes twinkling.

“It’s amazing baby.” He said in between bites, eyebrows scrunched together. “Really amazing.”

A soft sigh of relief leaves you, a smile spreading your lips.

“I was nervous, I’ve never cooked this before.” You explained, licking your lips. “I’m not much a cook though, my mom used to complain about it when I was younger.”

Jungkook hummed in response as he took another bite.

“My dad used to bake with me often though. I think I’m better at that.” The casual comment was meant to invoke the memory of the Christmas you spent with him but you aren’t sure if you succeed because his eyes drift over to center of the table.

“Are you wearing the perfume I gave you?” He asks, pulling you away from your focused script.

“Huh?” You ask then nod. “Oh y-yeah. I love it.”

He had given you a new perfume as a gift a few days ago. It was a pleasant warm rose and musk smell. The gesture came seemingly out of nowhere but the more optimistic side of you thought it maybe was due to him feeling guilty for leaving you alone here the few times he went to his father’s company for work. It would only be a couple of hours but hours felt like days when there was nothing but yourself to keep you sane.

He had not physically locked you in here. Not that you think he could anyway. But he had other ways of keeping you here, the key card he had previously let you borrow had now been revoked. He carried it with him at all times and if there was a spare one, you had not found it yet. Of course, you could physically leave and walk out but with no key, you would be forced to hang around the lobby until he came back. You were also not that dumb to try and venture off without your phone. It created too many obstacles in your head, you could get lost or something could happen to you and you wouldn’t be able to call for help. He must’ve of known that well and now that you thought it over, that was likely his main goal despite the jealousy tantrum he had tried to sell you.

Not that the jealousy had been act. You’d seen the vicious green-eyed monster take over him.

But admittedly Jungkook had already hacked your phone before. There was nothing stopping him from doing it again. Taking away your phone was a way of keeping tabs on you in another way. You felt stupid you didn’t realize it sooner though.

“I like it.” His eyes trail over you.

“Thanks. Me too.” You nod, coming to smell your wrist. “Guess you know my taste well.”

He half grins at that.

“I-I was saying that my dad used bake with me on holidays and it made me remember what my mom told me last time I talked to her.” You try to steer the conversation back.

That peaked his interest.

“What did she say?” He asked, taking a tip of his white wine.

“She said my dad had lost his job but she assured me he would find a new one soon since he’d already applied to another warehouse.”

He nods slowly urging you to continue.

“But it just makes me feel really guilty that I’m sitting here doing nothing all day while they’re working all day to….support my education. My parents are getting older.” You bit your lip, the actual guilt really hit you for a moment.

Jungkook eyes you, tapping his chopsticks against the plate.

“Do you need me to send them money?”

“No! W-What? No.” You let a breathless laugh out and shook your head. “I wouldn’t ask that. I mean I feel like it’s my fault. I f-feel like I should be doing more.”

He leans back into his seat, seemingly processing your words. Your heart is ready to jump out of your chest.

You let out a sigh and you look around the space.

“You don’t know what it’s like to grow up without finacial stability and an easy way out. But this is eating me up at night. I feel responsible for my parents and I-I am disappointing them already. Even if they don’t know it yet.”

You don’t look towards him as you continue. Feeling your throat start to close up.

“I just wish you’d ..reconsider. Going to college isn’t a threat to you-to us. I already live here and I’m with you.” You explain calmly. “If you really do love me, you wouldn’t be so careless with my future. I’ve been doing everything you want me to.”

He remains silent so you decide to add to your confession.

“I-I know you don’t trust me yet and that I haven’t earned it all. But please, keeping me away from everything isn’t going to prove my trust.” Finally, you return your gaze to him and look him straight in the eye.

“You’re only making my anxiety worse.”

With a wide-eyed expression, you raised your eyebrows emphasizing your words and waited stiffly for his reply. The TV playing in the background on low volume completely drained out as you zeroed in on him.

He let out a scoff, turning his head to the side.

The little bit of confidence you had fizzled out.

“So, that’s what all this has been about.” He confirms. “You held out longer than I thought baby.”

“No, this wasn’t just about that. I do care what you think and I did enjoy cooking for you, especially your favorite food because I-I do pay attention. I just thought you’d appreciate it more if…..if.” You stumbled over your words towards the end growing frustrated at your pleas falling on deaf ears.

“Are you done?” He asked with clear impatience when he saw you didn’t continue your rambling.

The action made you halt and stop mid sentence. You weren’t sure why but the sight of his aloofness made you cower. He was making you feel so insignificant. As if everything you said was a lie. As if he were dealing with a child instead of another equal with feelings. It reminded you of how Eunji had made you feel at times and you despised it.

You despised it because of how much you cared what he thought and felt about you.

“It’s only been a couple of weeks baby.” He coaxed you with a much nicer tone when he noticed your upset reaction. “You didn’t really think you’d sway me so easily, did you?”

Maybe you did.

You slammed down your chopsticks on the table and pushed yourself out of your chair. Jungkook followed your movements as you came to stand in front of him before you kneeled down, your knees scraping against the floor.

“Jungkook please, please.” You were out of options and resorting to the most degrading one but you didn’t care. “You need to let me go back! M-My parents… I feel stuck in here! Please!”

Reaching out to tug on his hand, your fingers caught hold of his shirt and he looked slightly surprised by your actions. His eyes widened the slightest bit as he took in your frantic state and high pitched pleas.He didn’t protest when you held his right hand with both of yours.

“Please! I’ll do anything but don’t take this away. I can’t be locked in here all day! Please!”

You felt like cowering even more under his scrutinizing eyes. His expression soon morphing into one of irritation.

“Stand up baby.” He pulled his hand away from you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to get you back on your feet. But you didn’t budge.

He snapped your name.

“Seriously, stand up.” He demanded more firmly. Looking completely annoyed now by your antics.

“What do you think you’ll gain from keeping me from going back to university ?! I have a life to return to! This won’t make things better!” You were trying everything now. Picking holes in what you thought were his plans and ideas. Trying to shatter whatever delusion had made him come to this drastic conclusion.

He let out a low curse. The chair squeaked under him as he pushed it away from the table and turned his body towards you. He dipped his head down and tugged on your loose ponytail, the action made you immediately close your mouth and shut your eyes at the stinging pain.

“You know what I think baby?” He whispered into your ear, his breath tickling your neck.

“I think you’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”

With that he stood up and left your kneeling figure on the floor. Your hands dropped on the chair he had been sitting. You his heavy footsteps down the hallway followed by the bedroom door shutting loudly. You ran a hand through your hair and held back tears at his insult. He had never expressed himself that way about you. It left an ugly wound on your heart and it triggered the undeniable people pleasing trait in you. A feeling you never wanted to feel again.

You’d thought you’d never feel worse than how you did when you found out about Eunji’s backstabbing nature but this was ultimately worse.

It felt so much worse.

Not him.

Not him too.

It had been 2 months since then.

The rest of the days after that you had spent crying your eyes out til you physically felt you couldn’t anymore. You had held a grudge against him for his cruel words and he had taken notice. The weeks that had followed had been consistent of his various forms of apologies. He’d told you he hadn’t meant it and how sorry he was for using such a nasty insult towards you. Brought you back flowers everytime he’d return back from whatever errand he went to that day. Spent the night paying extra attention to you until you’d given in to his pleading large eyes that at times resembled that of a wounded boy’s.

His sweet whispers had convinced you to the point of even more intimate forms of affection, your body falling victim to his needy touches again . In a way you’d indulged in it as form of distraction yet again. Surprisingly yourself with the way you’d tightly grip the sheets, head buried into the mattress letting out encouraging whimpers at every harsh thrust. The nights had turned into the sweet escape you needed to make up for all the hours you’d spend alone. They had felt like a reward for making it through days with no complaints.

So you had given up for the time being and taken a different approach. You weren’t sure if you’d even call it that as it was more so your way of coping with the situation.

Was it? The days had started going by more quickly and at time you found yourself wondering what you were coping with exactly.

Your days were now mainly focused on new hobbies that were done in in the comfort of the apartment. You got into scrapbooking oddly enough. The idea had come to you once you rummaged through one of Jungkook’s drawers and found a kraft paper journal. Along with some stationary items you’d stolen from him, you had began to fill out the pages with different places you wanted to visit around the world. It had been something you remembered doing once when you were in middle school but you never got to finish due to running out pages on your tiny cheap notebook.

This time, you’d glued every magazine cut out, ribbon, glitter, different stickers and wrote out reasons to visit for each place. It had taken up your time along with the books you’d get Jungkook to bring you.

Comfort could help build a glorious cage.

You’d soon realized that the time here had simply brought back you’re already introverted nature and heightened it. It made way for you to indulge in all the more small things that you had always wanted but never had the luxury of having. Everything seemed much more appealing in a large space. You’d gotten to rearrange thing to your liking, growing more bold with the way you dealt with the kitchen or bathroom supplied as if they were your own. Integrating every one of your habits with Jungkook’s. Now you rarely thought twice before waking up and starting your routine. Your focus shifting to what you should bake that day, what you should read or write in your notebook, if you would scrapbook or finish a puzzle or simply lounge around and watch TV for the rest of the day.

The thoughts of your parents and responsibilities still lingered but in a more hidden spot of your brain, coming out in infrequent waves when your anxiety would also sneak it’s way through the edges.

Your anxiety.

It had been controlled every since Jungkook had come home with your refilled prescription last month. You had no idea when he had even found your empty bottle and took it upon himself to order the refill but you didn’t complain. It had eased you with its way it had you out cold nearly every night. No more heart palpitations or sweaty palms before drifting off to a fragile sleep. It didn’t rid you of it completely of course, you had your off days where it would trigger back.

The days had become more peaceful as well as Jungkook had started to spend more time at home too and taken less trips to the company. His absence was often the reason for those flare ups of anxiousness. He hadn’t had any outbursts since that dinner disaster and the one he’d had before become more of a distant dream floating further and further. That wasn’t to say he’d let his boundaries slip away. The mention of college was still a subject you hadn’t dared bring up again, neither was the one of your phone.

It was tedious to break the habit of reaching over the nightstand to pick up your phone or the sudden urge you still got to want to look at the time or check texts and emails. It had taken you the same effort to try and convince yourself you had no assignments due anymore and you didn’t need to set an alarm for anything. It had driven you nearly mad at the beginning, given your unpleasant breakdown but your mind had latched itself onto other stimulating activities to ease it.

You turned on the faucet and rinsed off your toothbrush before opening the medicine cabinet. Taking out your anxiety meds, your eyes linger on the pill bottle you’d always see. ‘Zyprexa 10 mg’.

You pick it up and unscrew the lid, counting the pills inside.

11.

They’re had been 11 pills ever since you’d first had found them in this cabinet. You didn’t know why you bothered to count them everyday. The number never changed. Jungkook was not taking them and had not been for a while. Despite the worry that piled inside you, you had not had the courage to confront him about it. Of course you didn’t know his reasoning or the details as to why he may not be taking it. You thought over the possibility of perhaps his doctor taking him off them but it was all just a part of the many excuses you’d made for him. You knew well why you wouldn’t mention them to him. The thought of an unpleasant reaction had chained you to an invisible wall.

“You’ve become a manipulative little bitch.”

The words would too often make their home inside mind, ruining your pleasant thoughts for the day.

You screwed the lid back on and tossed them back inside. After taking your meds, you walked back into the bedroom and saw Jungkook buttoning up his loose shirt. He tucked the ends inside his well-fitted pants, the work attire hugging his frame perfectly.

“I was thinking of making brownies today.” You tell him with a yawn, rubbing your eyes as you went over to him. “Or lemon bars, I haven’t decided.”

His nose scrunched up at the word ‘lemon’. It was so animated that it reminded you of a child.

“Definitely brownies, please.” You fought a grin before your eyes took in the scrapbook that was wide open on the bed.

“You’ve added a new place.” Jungkook comments, gesturing to the addition of ‘Zion’ and the breathtaking landscape pictures you had plastered all over the two large pages.

You felt a bit shy at how nosey he had been in knowing every detail of the book ever since you’d started it. It was endearing how he’d pay close attention to every page though and how he’d encouraged you to keep adding more. He had spent one day making you describe and explain why’d you chosen each place despite the small descriptions you’d already written on them. Most had been really superficial and non-interesting reasons, you just sounded like the typical tourist. He didn’t mind though, he had rested his head on your shoulder and listened while making sly comments.

That day he’d also promised you he’d take you to every one. You’d nearly laughed in his face but he had not broken a single smile. He had been dead serious. He claimed that at least but he seemed to know why you’d find that hard to believe given the circumstances he’d put you in.

“It won’t always be this way, baby.” He said with such certainty that you needed to believe him.“I’m only trying to teach you a lesson, show you what you haven’t yet realized.”

You didn’t really dwell on what he meant by that. It was obvious enough he’d done this to get back at you but what exactly had you not realized yet? You weren’t sure. In your perspective, his motives seem to be the same as they always did.

To keep you at his side.

“I think it’s really cool. I remember looking up pictures of it one time.”

“It looks amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever visited anywhere like that.” His gaze then returned to you as he motioned for you to get closer.

You held back a gasp when he grasped your waist and pulled you into his chest, your feet lifting off the floor for a second.

“I have a surprise for you.” He muffled into your neck, pressing his lips to your skin. “God I love this smell on you.”

It was his own perfume he had gifted you a while back and you almost called out the arrogant comment but you only let out a scoff instead.

“A surprise?” Your heart had skipped a beat but you scolded yourself to remain calm. To not get your hopes up for something too grandeur. Jungkook had made it clear you had not yet earned his full trust .The path was unclear but it was considerably still long.

And that meant you couldn’t have earned your phone back.

“Have you ever been here?” You turned when you felt the loss of contact on your neck and looked down to what he had pulled from behind him. He held two tickets in his hand, your eyed read over the famous name of the theme park.

“No.” Your eyed widened as you took the tickets in your hand. “The prices were always too out of my budget.”

The popular theme park was a known tourist attraction in this city. It was the largest in the country and you had been hoping you would get to visit it when you had first moved here for college but the money would never add up. Your funds would barely cover your food expenses at times and it left little room for much else.

It felt like you had a golden ticket in your hand, a full smile broke out on your face.

“Are we really going?” You face him, the tiniest bit of doubt seeping through your tone. The slightest bit of possibility of this being some kind of test or joke had slithered it’s way into you.

Jungkook looked almost offended by the question. His eyes boring into you as he let out a short laugh.

“Of course we are baby, that’s why I bought them.” He tells you, kissing your cheek. “You’ve been such a good girl lately, you deserve it.”

You were going out.

You would be outside again and at one of the most whimsical theme parks to exist.

“And if you keep it up,” He says into your ear, fingers tracing down the edge of your shoulder.“Things might start going back to the way they were.”

His implication was clear. If you stayed in his good graces, you’d eventually get your phone back and even your college transfer back. Your future back. The freedom back.

“Really?” Your eyes tried to search for the bluff. The teasing. Anything. But it didn’t surface. He nodded and smirked at your reaction, laying another kiss to your temple.

Had that been the lesson?

He had given these things so easily and he wanted to show you how easily he had been able to snatch it right back. If you had thought had been walking on eggshells with him before, that had been nothing compared to these past weeks, months.

That was the key to the lock wasn’t it? Had that been it all this time? If you had wanted to go back to the way things were, Jungkook had to see your mind and devotion shift completely towards him. Truly towards him. Not in the way you thought it looked like it would please him. He had made it happen gradually, organically even.

But the pressing question stood.

Did you want to go things to go back to how they were?

Yes. But not so much that it hurt you if they didn’t. Like you thought it would. Like it had hurt the first few weeks.

That in itself meant you were running out of time.

Because you shouldn’t want things to go back to the way they were.

You should want to completely get rid of Jungkook and his insanity. You should want to figure out a way to escape his blackmail and invisible cage. You should want to never turn back.

But it seemed to be too late.

Because all you had been thinking about these days were how much you studied his every move, how much you had memorized every blemish or insignificant mole on his back while you drifted off to sleep. How often he’d pout his lips unknowingly when you weren’t paying attention. How much you’d wish to smooth out the crease between his eyebrows just once and be able to look at him with as much love as he looked at you.

You’d analyzed his every move, afraid of what was next but in the process you questioned why you had also memorized his every habit. His favorite foods and snacks, how surprisingly tidy he was about his closet and clothes. How normal he seemed despite the dark secrets and intentions that boiled inside him.

Because the more you stayed in his home, the more you had started forgetting what your life was before it and why those starry brown eyes seemed far more enticing than the filthy walls of a motel or the familiar humble structure of your parent’s home.

—

From the moment you entered the park, you felt your spirits go up. You didn’t know if was purely the fact that you were finally getting fresh air or that you were actually looking forward to seeing everything inside. It was jaw dropping from the get-go. You were sure your fascination came from never really attending these types of attractions as a child or teenager but this one experience seemed to make up for all of it.

During the drive here you had mentioned to Jungkook that you wanted to take pictures of everything. It was a subtle hint towards your phone but in reality you weren’t expecting him to give in to you even for that use of it. You were right of course, he brushed it off saying you could use his instead.

You gave Jungkook’s hand a squeeze when you spotted the growing crowds as you neared the some of the restaurants and rides but he gave you an assuring smile.

“You’re fine.” He tugged you into his side, the breeze felt nice on your skin.

You repeated his words in your head as you focused your attention more towards all the tall rides and characters that wandered around the area dressed from well-known fables. A small giggle leaving your lips at some of the costumes they wore. They looked ridiculously cute.

The next hour consisted of you practically dragging him around and pointing to all the types of junk food that you wanted to try. The first victim was the Fairy themed milkshakes located in the Medieval village zone. They were a baby pink and blue infusion with edible glitter sprinkled on the top of the whipped cream.

“They look so good.” You mumbled to Jungkook as you two waited for your order in front of the small stand that was shaped like a tree bark. The decorations were impressive, the led lights layered around the plastic leaves flickered but it was hard to notice them in broad daylight.

“It looks like it tastes like a bag of sour candy.” He mused, playing with the ends of your hair.

“That would taste good.”

He smiled fondly at that, laying a soft kiss on your forehead before he heard the order being called out. His delicate touch were the ones that always sent the most shivers through your body.

He brought back the obnoxious drink and you wasted no time in taking a sip. The flavor was not as strong as you thought, it tasted almost like marshmallow but with a fruity aftertaste.

“Mmm.” You exclaimed sipping more. “Try it.”

He threw out his gum that he had been chewing and took a reluctant sip of it. You watched as he smacked his lips together, making a distasteful face.

“Oh baby,” He handed you back the shake with a shake of his head. “That’s fucking awful.”

What? It had not been that bad even if it wasn’t to someone’s liking. You wanted to roll your eyes at his dramatics.

“No it’s not!” You gaped at him, taking another sip. It tasted perfect to you. “It’s probably because of your gum.”

“Sure.” He said unconvincingly before guiding you both back towards the next destination on the theme park map.

The next victims included a corn dog, some type of corn soup and an abnormal sized cookie. All delicious to you but it had not been such a good idea to eat them all at once and then begin to go on the rides. Time was passing a lot quicker than you hoped and every stop you’d make to take a picture seemed to take longer with crowds of people waiting behind you to take the exact same one. In the exactly same pose.

The sun was setting and your legs had been started to burn now but you tried your best to ignore them. Thankfully, your anxiousness had not surfaced too much today. You thought over how it would’ve been a very different story if you hadn’t been able to take your meds again. It would’ve likely made it impossible for you to make it five minutes in here , let alone half the day.

Your eyes observed as Jungkook took a picture of one of the brightly lit canoe rides under a bridge with a boyish grin on his face despite the contrasting appearance of his dark attire and inked sleeves.

If only the people around you knew how quickly he could turn it off and on. Not even the almost grudge type style could truly ever match how cynical he could be if he chose to. It was anything but a font.

Yet you almost felt required to conceal that part of him from others. A feeling of protectiveness over how they’d perceive him or judge him.

It was silly considering the average pedestrian had more to fear of him than him of them but of course feelings never took the logical route.

“Did you come here a lot growing up?” You asked him as he snapped a last photo and handed over his phone to you. You had been the one carrying it around mostly due to him growing tired of you asking for it every second you saw something that peaked your interest.

“Twice. I loved the fast rides mostly.” He replied and you remembered how he had not stopped insisting you both get on the giant anchor ride. The sight of the swinging ship was a little off-putting to say the least but you weren’t completely against the idea. You had already been on a couple of the smaller rides in the park, like the spinning seashell ride that had you almost tasting the donut you’d ate before getting on.

You stared down at his phone screen, his home screen lit up and unsurprisingly his background was now a picture of you two standing at the very entrance of the theme park with the jumbo size sign behind you.

It was weird to look at because of how natural you both looked in it. His hand wrapped around your shoulder, a grin on his face and you had placed a hand on his chest.You tried to find an indication that this looked like anything other than a normal and even corny couple picture but you didn’t find one.

Could it be that you failed to find one because that’s what it felt like when it was taken? And it was it still felt like right now.

“With your whole family?”

“Mhm.” He nodded nonchalantly as you both walked past down the sidewalk that had all the restaurants and bakery shops.“ It was mostly my mom and I though, my dad used to complain pretty early on and just let us wander the park while he sat and waited on the benches.”

“Oh.” You mumble, frowning a bit.“Did that annoy you?”

He glanced at you, seeming to think back on it.

“Not really. I don’t think I cared that much back then or noticed.” Despite the dismissive words, you couldn’t help but detect a bit of snark in his tone.

“Still, he’s your dad.” You remind him as he held the shop door open for you and you gave him a small smile before stepping inside. His hand on your back despite you guiding which direction to walk over to first.

“He is.” You hear him reply behind you.“Why the sudden curiousity about my dad baby? Do you need my entire family therapy notes?”

You grew nervous at his inquisitive tone. You had not meant to pry into his father in particular, that’s just where the conversation had fallen naturally. For the first time your intentions didn’t have much of an ulterior motive in hopes of catching him in a lie or uncovering another skeleton in his closet. It was becoming a habit to just ask him about much of anything in a way you’d ask a friend.

“I was just wondering, my parents could never take me to these kinds of things.”

You felt him look at you from the corner of your eye when you went to stand beside him to look over a pile of baseball caps and beanies on a display shelf.

“Truth is there isn’t much to say about him, good or bad. I saw him as more of a burden to me at one point more than anything.” He mutters as he lifts up a headband with mouse ears on each end and tried to put it on you before you swat his hand away.

You don’t know what to say to his passing comment. There was an urge to ask him a follow-up question to it but you decide against it.

“Look at these.” You pointed in awe at the sight of vintage themed keychains instead. The souvenir shop you were in had an European architectural style. You went to pick up a pair of tiny tea cups that had a floral pattern wrapped around the porcelain glass. “It’s all so pretty.”

The previous scenic gardens zone you had just been at had probably been your favorite place out of the whole park.Jungkook’s camera roll now full with photos of all the different colored tulips that surrounded the trail. It was one of the most popular attractions for good reason. Jungkook had followed you like a lost child when you kept speed walking towards the countless sets of floral faces.

“Pschyology,” Jungkook says as he picks up the same tea cups in your hand, inspecting them. “What made you pick it as a major?”

You give him a questioning look at the drastic subject change, tensing up a bit at thought of discussing college again considering how downhill it had gone last time you had brought it up.

“Um.” You swallow. “I’m not so sure, I felt drawn to it and it seemed like a subject I could do well in. I don’t know if that’s still true though.”

It turns out knowing your psyche and patterns so well doesn’t always save you. You felt more disconnected with it by the day.

“Is that still what you want to do?” He puts down the teacups, his fingers brushing over a set of tiny wine glasses.

“Yes. I think so.” You try not to sound too eager. It felt like such a fragile gift he could easily shatter between his fingers.

He nods.

“You don’t have to feel like you need to do it just to please your parents baby. If you have other interests , I could always open up a way for you to do them.” You aren’t sure how true that is considering he had already snatched your future away so easily until he saw fit to give it back. Who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to anything else you wanted to do? But he sounded so genuine that you wanted to believe him.

You stay silent.

“Why did you decide to study so far away from home?” His eyes study your face.

The question catches you off guard. You brought your gaze down to the items in your hands. If you lied, he would know. You were sure of it. But if you told the truth, you feared the reaction would be not much different.

He seems to understand the meaning behind your silence. A look of realization crossing his face before his gaze hardened.

“Oh.” He says dryly. “Of course.”

You felt embarrassed by it all over again. You’d already tortured yourself enough for your dumb decision when it had come to Eunji.

“At least I have one thing to thank her for then.” He grasps your chin, a small smile playing on his lips before he gives you a firm kiss. His hand wraps around your neck as he pushes you further into him.

You feel yourself melting away, your lips parting slightly allowing his tongue to slip inside. Despite the intensity, the kiss feels playful with the feeling of his other hand pinching your sides and making you yelp.

“J-Jungkook!” You hiss in a low whisper, pulling away. You glance around to make sure nobody is watching you. It always seemed mortifying to you for strangers to witness those intimate displays.

He laughed in response, walking past you to seemingly go look at something else. You felt a little breathless and your face was for sure looking flushed.

A vibration in your hand made you look down.

Jungkook’s phone had received a notification. You snuck a glance at him to make sure he wasn’t looking your direction before unlocking it. If he had a passcode, he had removed it for today so you could easily navigate his photo gallery.

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about going through it but it had been impossible to with Jungkook glued to your side the entire time. Even on your bathroom breaks, he had not been careless enough to let you go in with it. Silently reaching out his hand to remove it from your grip before you’d slip inside.

However, the notification was not what you were expecting. It was a reminder for his mother’s birthday. Tomorrow.

He’d set a reminder? You fought a smile at that. It seemed thoughtful given how he expressed their less than ideal relationship nowadays.

You tapped on his calendar, mindlessly scrolling down and you didn’t even pretend to be shocked your birthday was on there as well but your eyes caught another date that caught your attention more. It was titled ‘FS’.

11-11-20

You frowned at it.

FS.

Staring at the date, you tried to figure out why it would be significant to him. It clearly wasn’t some type of appointment or meeting considering the difference in the way he had wrote those down. Had it been an anniversary? You thought back to when you had met him.He would be the type to write that day as your anniversary date. But this was a year too early. You hadn’t met him at the cafe until much later.

Your fingers froze the second you pieced it together.

FS.

First sighting.

“Baby?” Nearly dropping the phone at the sound of him behind you, you quickly exited the calendar app and turned to him just in time he closed in on you.

“You got a reminder for your mom’s birthday.” You tell gently and hand him over the phone, a crease forming in your eyebrow. “It’s tomorrow?”

He takes it and types something out.

“Yeah, she kept asking me if we would come to her birthday dinner tomorrow.” He tells you and you can’t detect any specific emotion from his tone.

“My dad isn’t going to make it to it again.” He looks like he’s about to roll his eyes.

His mother wanted you to come too?

“We should go.” You offer, looking back towards his phone. “I-I mean if you want to? She probably feels lonely.”

He looks up to meet your gaze.

“You want to go?”

Would he find that weird? You didn’t think so. He didn’t seem to mind last time she had come unexpectedly to the apartment.

“She was really nice to me.” You say recalling the memory that seemed far away now.

The corner of his mouth lifts up. Like it did whenever he found something you did cute or amusing.

“Sucking up to your mother in law already, baby?” He teased and pulled you in. It wasn’t that. Was it? You suppose you didn’t mind bonding with her a bit more. The idea didn’t sound terrible. The image of her or anyone sitting alone having dinner on their birthday made your heart shatter.

Would Jungkook have really let her spend her birthday completely alone?

“Let’s go, we still have one more ride to go on.” He tells you and your face drops.

“No, please.” You complain as he tugged you forward but then looked back at the tiny pair of teacups you had put back down.

“Heights aren’t really my thing, I’m gonna throw up all I ate.”

“Don’t be such a baby.” He gives you a cynical grin, picking up the teacup set. “Let’s pay for this first though.”

“I don’t need that.” You protest going to grab it from him but he pulls it up higher so you are unable to reach it.

“You didn’t put it down the entire time we were in here.”

You groan as he practically drags you towards the register.

—-

The restaurant was dimly lit. It was a bit far out of into the city, located in a more calm and pleasant atmosphere that was popular for its scenic views. You felt out of place the moment you stepped in. Evidently you didn’t look out of place though. Your appearance was funded by your boyfriend, your mid-length black dress probably cost more than your entire tuition. You would’ve confirmed it if Jungkook hadn’t ripped of the tag before gifting it to you a few days ago. You stared down at the Christian Louboutin red bottoms on your feet, you’d half expected them to sense your tax bracket and make you fall head first the second you put them on.

You switched the gift bag you were carrying to your less dominant hand when you went to greet Jungkook’s mother with a swift side hug. She looked lovely, you caught a quick whiff of her perfume before you pulled away. The scent was slightly familiar. She seemed ecstatic at your arrival, well you assumed her joy was mainly aimed towards her son but you didn’t mind being on the receiving end of it too. It felt like ages since you had interacted with anyone besides Jungkook.

Not that you necessarily minded it, you weren’t exactly equipped at social interactions with strangers as proven before. But in a way his mother didn’t feel like too much of a stranger like last time you saw her. There was an air of warmth that surrounded her that at times mirrored Jungkook’s.

“Happy birthday.” You say to her , digging your nails into your palm in an effort to calm your nerves. The undeniable awkwardness you carried was hard to mask.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” She said. Her hair was styled into a slick bun just like yours and you smiled at the coincidence. She looked more elegant this time around, her heavier makeup enhanced her most prominent features.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

Jungkook had been walking a few steps behind you and you saw his mother’s face lit up instantly when she spotted him over your shoulder . You turned your neck, watching a tense smile spread his lips as he hesitated to hug her. It was the most uncomfortable you had never seen him. As a matter of fact, it was probably the only time you had ever seen him like that.

He gave in at last, giving her a brief hug that seemed to surprise even her. Her eyes widened a bit at his short-lived contact and you wondered how long it has been since Jungkook had properly hugged his mother. Months? Years?

It seems like you weren’t the only one out of place.

You took a seat, placing his mother’s gift beside you on the floor. Your nerves kicked in at the sight of the crowded space and far too prestigious set of silverware in front of you. Jungkoook soon followed beside you, a much more relaxed look on his face now that he put some distance with his mother. The smell of his cologne hit you and it did wonders to calm your overactive senses.

It was funny to think his scent once did the exact opposite.

“You must be sad your husband couldn’t make it, I’m sorry I wish I could’ve met him too.” You commented in an attempt to break any of the awkward silence that could follow after that greeting.

It was a small fib , you weren’t sure you wanted to meet Jungkook’s father at all with the way both him and his mother had spoken about him. He seemed rather cold by their descriptions but then again, if his mother was anything like Jungkook, you weren’t sure she was the most reliable narrator.

You pushed the awfully rude thought away, not knowing where it came from. His mother had not been unkind to you and she didn’t seem to carry any of Jungkook’s negative traits at all.

“Ah, don’t be. My husband rarely attends birthday dinners. His business trips are something I’ve grown used to.” She responds as she looks down at the menu but sneaks a quick glance at you.

“You look even prettier than I remembered by the way, my son sure knows how to pick them.”

Your cheeks warm at her compliment.

“It hasn’t been that long since you saw me.” You hold back a laugh. It was probably the help of the makeup you had piled on to cover all the blemishes on your skin that had you appearing more vibrant.

“I’m getting old now. A few weeks feel like a decade.” She sighs and you can’t help but let out a laugh this time. Jungkook is silent , looking engrossed in the menu.

“You’re not old at all. You look great.” You reassured her and decide to finally start paying attention to the menu as well. However, seeing the prices made you nearly cringe.

You sneaked a glance back at his mother and then towards Jungkook. You chewed on your bottom lip as an unpleasant thought occured to you. It didn’t seem like his mother suspected you weren’t from the same background as Jungkook but what if she did? If she knew you couldn’t afford any of this, not even what you were wearing from head to toe, would she assume something different from you?

Thinking back to your previous interaction with her at his apartment, his mother didn’t really seem like the type. She had not questioned your family or background at all. She only seemed interested in you and what you meant for her son. You buried the thought away despite the feeling of embarrassment at the idea of her somehow knowing he had basically began to financially support your entire life. Among other things.

“I’ll just get whatever you get.” You muttered to Jungkook, eyeing his menu.

He frowns.

“Are you sure? You should get whatever you feel like eating baby.” His words comfort you but just by glancing at the options, you realize you don’t even know what half of it means. They don’t provide much descriptions either.

Jungkook observed you and you tried to ignore the way you could feel him already grasping your issue. Him knowing you that well shouldn’t make your stomach flip the way it did.

“That one,” He gestured to the oddly named item on the left corner. “It’s a pasta. Tagliatelle with truffle sauce. It’s really good, fits your taste I think.”

“You got that from me liking the spaghetti you made the other night?”

He gives you a teasing grin and nods. “Think of it as white spaghetti.”

Swallowing you put the menu down and tap your finger against it.

“I hope your mom likes the gift.” You really had no idea what to get her so naturally you relied completely on Jungkook to choose. It was a high end handbag he had picked out, assuring you that it would be to her liking. Maybe some flowers would’ve seemed more genuine on your part but you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to stop by for them on your way here.

“She will, don’t worry.” He pecked your lips before you could scold him. The PDA would never feel comfortable to you no matter how used you were to his touch by now. Much less with his mother as the main audience this time.

“My son has always been really affectionate. Straight out the womb, he was such a cuddly child.” His mother watched you fondly, her hands now clasped in front of her. “You two seem to match so well .”

“Yes, you mentioned he was clingy.” You blurt out before you realized what you said. It sounded a bit rude.

“I mean, as a child.” You clarify and watch Jungkook raised both his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. He seemed unbothered by the comment thankfully.

“Yes, he was.” His mother chuckled at you.

At least they have a sense of humor. Must run in the family.

“What I mean is, I’m glad that side of him is back. I hadn’t seen it in a long time.” She explains with a more glum tone.

“And who’s fault is that?” You hear Jungkook remark.

His mother’s expression visibly falls. Her smile remained but she lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes.

“Jungkook.” You whisper to him with an imploring look.

Instantly you feel a sense of not only embarrassment for her but deep empathy. She seemed so happy just moments ago. It was her birthday and that made it all much worse. While you knew Jungkook was far from fully reconciling with his mother, you had assumed he was on the right path at least. His mother himself had hinted at it. You had expected him to not make snide remarks at the very least.

Thankfully the waiter comes to take the orders before any of you can utter another word. You bite your nails nervously and look towards Jungkook for help in pronouncing the pasta meal. He struggles with it too but plays it off better than you would’ve. The pinch between his eyebrows was amusing and he gives your shoulder a squeeze when he notices your inability to keep a straight face.

Once the waiter leaves, you don’t know what to say to make things better. You don’t know his mother well enough to offer any sort of distraction but you wanted to lighten the mood at all costs. You never did well this sort of pressuring atmosphere, you feared you’d start to feel claustrophobic soon if something didn’t distract you too.

“Lots of children tend to be clingy I think.” You look between her and Jungkook. He gives you a thoughtful look, resting his head on the palm of his hand “But it usually fades out one way or another.”

It was a weak attempt.

“Yes, I guess that’s true.” His mother replied softly seeming to appreciate it nonetheless.

“Did you always want to be a lawyer?” Changing the subject might be for the best.

She goes on go explain that she didn’t at first and thought she’d end up becoming an interior designer due to her fascination with art when she was younger. But she ultimately decided to go to law school because her parents thought she’d strive there and have a more successful career overall. They had been right of course, she had been a top student. She claims it was hard and one of the worst experiences in her life was attending those first days of law school along with the bar exam despite her success.

You listen to her intently, nodding along to her ramblings that at moments remind you of your own. Her mannerisms continue to remind you of her son though, the resemblance still as uncanny as ever.

The food eventually arrives and that’s when you look over at Jungkook. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in what his mother is saying and you assume it’s because he must’ve already heard it countless of times before.

“What about you? I heard you’re a psychology student.” His mother questions, cutting into her steak.

You pause, your eyes slowly trailing towards Jungkook who has sharpened his gaze. But his glare is directed at his mother first before it lands on you.

A warning sits behind his eyes.

“Y-Yeah. I’m just sorta taking a short break right now.”

Take the shake of your voice. You wanted to smack yourself for having such thin skin and the complete opposite of a poker face.

“Really? Oh that’s good. I hope you find a nice career in psychology. You seem like a very smart girl.” You smile at her words.

I thought I was until I met your son. The words sat on the tip of your tongue.

“She is.” Jungkook confirms with a nod, stabbing the fork harshly into the piece of meat on his place. He raised an eyebrow at his mother. “She doesn’t need a career to prove that.”

His mother smiles, oblivious to what those words really mean for you. She swallowed her bite and looks between the two of you.

“She doesn’t but I’m sure that’s what she wants if she’s in college.”

“Mm” Jungkook muses, holding up the piece of steak on his fork as if to inspect it. “Sure, she can get a degree but I expect to take care of my wife so there’s not a need for her to stress over it.”

Wife.

A cough leaves you upon hearing that. You tried to chew down the pasta you were sure had just gotten stuck in your throat. Blinking away the tears forming, you reach over to take a sip of water.

“Oh?” His mother eyes your actions, a bit perplexed. “I suspected you two were already serious but I didn’t know marriage was already on the table. I’m glad.”

You clear your throat and wipe away your watery eyes.

“I-I,”You gape at Jungkook but he ignores you , still looking towards his mother. “Sorry I wasn’t expecting him to say that either.”

“Eventually we will. Maybe sooner rather than later.” He shrugs, bringing the fork to his mouth and chewing down the steak. “ That’s the goal isn’t it? What’s so shocking about it?”

Staring down at your plate, you swore you feel the room spin for a split second.

“No! It’s not shocking at all. I always knew you’d want to marry once you found the right person.” His mother beams, sounding much more pleased by the idea the more she talked. All her previous bewilderment gone.

“I think I’d need to mention that to my parents first.” You express and send Jungkook a puzzled look.

Your parents.

The thought of them receiving the news of you in such a serious relationship that talks of marriage were already in the air made you squirm. You had barely even admitted to having crushes back when you lived with them, let alone someone close to a fiancé. A stupidly foolish part of you at one point had fantasied about that person you’d bring home to them would be Eunji.

Eunji.

You blocked her image out entirely, aggressively burying it away.

“I think it’s time for you to let me meet them then.” He throws back in a sickeningly sweet stone that silenced you with ease.

The last thing you wanted was Jungkook within any close distance of your parents. Not with everything he had against you. He might be the only man who’s ever had your heart ache terribly like this but he was could also become the man from your worst nightmares at one wrong move . To have him face to face with the people he’d swore he’d show your darkest secrets to if you didn’t comply was something you weren’t sure you could handle yet. The very thought of it made a wave of nausea hit you. It would be such a vulnerable position.

Even though it felt like years rather than months since that video had been taped, you knew that in itself meant you had distanced yourself from it so much that a part of you felt like it never existed. That Jungkook had never done that.

That your entire relationship with him wasn’t built on lies and deceit.

The reality was too hard to face because your heart was insisting you’d give in entirely to it’s desires.

Your true desires.

And you felt like you already had.

“You haven’t met her parents?” His mother gathers your attention again. Her question lingered in the air for a few seconds before you took it in.

“Uh, no. Not yet. They don’t live close by.” You hope the excuse sounds convincing enough with your overly wide smile.

“Ah.” She nods understandably. “I hope they can meet him soon. I’d also like to meet the parents of such a lovely girl.”

“Yes, hopefully.” Twirling your fork around your plate you realize you’re not that hungry anymore.

“I didn’t see my parents much when I was in law school either and after I met my husband-”

“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”Jungkook announced and his mother paused mid sentence, giving him a small nod. You felt him lay a kiss on your cheek before he stood from his seat.

You watched as he walked away and disappeared into a corner.

“He gets bored easily at times.” His mother said sheepishly following your gaze.

For a second you’re tempted to ask her more about Jungkook now that the topic of conversation had shifted back to him momentarily. However, it seemed rude to try and pry about more than what you had already asked her when you had first met her. She seemed to have already over shared everything about him to you and you didn’t know if there was much else to ask. Not anything significant at least. Still you were greedy for every of untold story about him, for any of those insignificant details. Surprisingly your nosiness didn’t come from a place of pure fear this time. Your unease was accompanied with genuine concern and curiosity.

But you decided against it.It was her birthday after all. You shouldn’t risk tip toeing over a topic that could send her back to an unpleasant time period.

“I apologize for bringing you to such a crowded restaurant.” His mother says as she looks around.

The heavy murmurs and piano playing in the background fading as you focused on her.

“I know it’s not the best place for anxiety prone people. I used to hate it here too before I got used to it and fell in love with the food.” She adds with a soft laugh.

“Oh no it’s fine, really. I’ve been able to manage my anxiety a little better these days. It’s beautiful here.” You assure her and take a bite out of your food, not wanting it go to waste.

“That’s good to hear. Therapy?”

“N-No, I haven’t gone to therapy in a while. It did help me a lot though. I’m sure you know. Jungkook mentioned you also used to attend therapy regularly.” You bring your hand to your cover your mouth as you finish the bite.

You made a point to leave out the unnerving details of that story, not wanting to reveal how her son was first made aware of you. It was in fact a weird circumstance regardless if she was aware of his tendencies.

Her bright expression faltered. She stared at you for a long moment and blinked.

“Yeah.” She said after seconds of silence."Yeah, they for sure do help.”

She tilted her head to the side and focused back on her food. You notice the tiniest scrunch of her eyebrows before she sets her lips into a straight line.

That was strange.

You watch her carefully, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to decipher her reaction.

Jungkook returns a few minutes later and you plaster a smile on your face, attempting to push away the growing suspicion that settled in the pit of your stomach. The rest of the dinner goes smoothly, not anything of substance is said and Jungkook is mostly quiet. It was odd in a way to see him so closed off when it was usually you that was the silent one around people. You suppose it was due his mother’s presence being not nearly as intimidating as most people’s. Ironic considering her choice of career.

“We got you a gift.” You state the obvious once all of you had cleared your plates and a small round cake sat at the center of the table.

It had a dark chocolate spatula ribbon design on the bordes with a golden specked butterfly as the cake topper. The long wax candles placed in the middle already blown out. Your eyes had unconsciously been locked on the certain golden speckled figurine for reasons you could not begin to explain. It made you too aware of what his mother had said about the necklace.

“Jungkook picked it out so please blame him if you hate it.” You lightly joked.

“You really didn’t have to but thank you so much.” She took the gift bag from your hand, giving you a soft rub on the back when you leaned over to give her another quick hug.

You settled back into your seat and watched anxiously as she opened up the bag, shuffling through the tissue paper.

She took out the teal colored handbag and you clasped your hands together, tucking them into your chest. At first, the look in her face was unreadable as she further studied the purse. She looked in deep thought for a mere second before a smile broke out, her eyes widening.

“I-this is beautiful.” She expressed and looked over at Jungkook, you tuned to glance at him and noticed him simply watching her.

“I used to have one just like this.” You raise an eyebrow. Had Jungkook gifted her a purse she already owned? You wanted to call him out but his his mother continued.

“I lost it a long time ago. Thank you.” She told you before her gaze met her son’s again briefly. “I didn’t think you’d still remembered the exact purse.”

Looking down at the hand-bag, your eyes scanned her face before they traveled over to Jungkook’s piercing gaze. It was unflinching. He had avoided eye contact with his mother for most of the dinner but he now he seemed to be unable to look away. You couldn’t describe the way he was looking at her. His jaw was clenched but his eyes held something more.

And you swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch so quickly that you convinced yourself it was your mind making you see things.

That same suspicion from earlier settled back into your stomach.

—-

It was stuck.

You pulled harder, letting out a huff as the bed frame legs loudly scraped against the floor tiles. Finally it moved and you slipped your head in between the small gap between it and the wall. Your hand felt for the piece of paper until you gripped the edges of it and carefully tried to scratch off the tape to not rip it apart.

Once you had it, you pushed the headboard back in place. Making sure it didn’t look slanted or out of place. Your eyes read over what you had written.

11-11-20

You were sure you would remember it without the need to write it down but you really didn’t want to put all your faith on the short term memory you possessed at the most important times. It had been the right decision because the numbers had already begun to fade when you got home that day with from the theme park. The hiding spot seemed extreme but you really knew better than to risk anything less cautious. Even more so with something that could very well be insignificant.

Jungkook didn’t tolerate secrets.

You knew that well now. Even if it was a one way street. It always would with him and you were starting to understand that, accept it even. But you didn’t know why your gut was telling you to not forget these numbers. This date. The first time Jungkook saw you in that waiting room.

But this date could be more significant in other ways.

It was a long shot. A really long shot.

And you didn’t even know why you were attempting it. You almost felt disappointment in yourself for even going behind his back again. Had you not learned your lesson? But this was innocent, wasn’t it? You were only trying to access the internet to check your bank account and emails from job offers you had applied to.

But the lie settled uncomfortably in you.

You could’ve simply asked Jungkook for his permission to use his monitor or MacBook. You were positive he wouldn’t refuse.

As long as he hovered over your shoulder while you did and you wouldn’t be able to snoop like you really wanted to.

Your thoughts threw back the harsh truth. Jungkook’s computer was the only thing you hadn’t managed to snoop through in this entire apartment. Which meant that was the closet where all his skeletons must’ve resided in. Most at least. What you were looking for exactly you didn’t know. The more you circled around the reasoning you came to conclusion that it was more so you were seeking to make sure he hadn’t done something.

Something you were terrified he’d gone through with since the second he’d made the disturbing threat.

Walking down the long corridor, you felt your heartbeat in your ears with every step. You halted in front of his office door and let your fingers close over the doorknob to pull the door open. The office didn’t look any different from how you had last seen it. You hadn’t stepped foot back inside since your last failed attempt at unlocking his computer. There was a great chance this would be your second and last failed attempt.

Stepping inside, you let the heel of your foot shut the door behind you. As you neared his desk, your eyes fell on a couple of folders and papers laid out. You pushed his chair away from his desk and took a seat on it. A paranoid thought popped into your head and you whipped your head around to check every ceiling corner of the room.

Why were you doing this? You shouldn’t be doing this.

Your hands felt sweaty clasping the mouse, the movement lighting up the screen. You gulped as you typed in the numbers from the wrinkled paper in your hand. The little loading icon that followed made your stomach churn.

You held in a gasp when the screen suddenly displayed a word document and multiple other tabs popped up.

You were in.

An unknown sensation went over you as you tried not to sit on the fact that he’d really had made that his passcode. It made your heartbeat faster than it already was.

Somehow it made you feel more guilty for doing this. You fought the urge to get up and sprint out, forgetting you had even thought of this but you stayed glued to the seat.

It took you a second to process before you read over what he had been doing before he logged off. But it was just a bunch of work documents he’d been typing out. They had his father’s company’s name on them. He had so many files too, you weren’t sure you’d be able to go through them all. You glanced over at the time on the corner of the screen, you still had plenty of time before he was supposed to be back from his errand. He had gone to drop off his car to get it detailed.

Despite that , you kept wanting to look over your shoulder at any sudden sound. You were stiff as a board as you clicked off his word document and clicked on an unnamed file. You scrolled and scrolled, your eyes trying to find something that stood out but nothing did. They all seemed work related, some even dating back to what seemed to be his college days. You moved over to his emails, squinting to read over the ones with long paragraphs. It was simply him giving detail responses to a colleague it seemed and instructions on another one. All similar subjects to his documents. Scrolling down further, you eventually came across dates that were too far back but you paused as you saw a female name on one.

A wiser woman would’ve not clicked it but your curiosity was one of your many flaws. Your eyes narrowed at the flirty message. It had also been work related and it was dated far back about more than a year ago. It seemed to be a female colleague of his and the flirtatious nature of her message had seemingly been one sided due to Jungkook’s dry response. You felt satisfied reading his lack of enthusiasm towards her, it had made you unclench your tight grip on your mouse.

Why had that made you jealous?

You let out an impatient sigh as you clicked off his emails.

What were you even thinking? He didn’t do anything.

He had been bluffing. Hoseok was fine. His family was fine. It had only been a warning and nothing more. But that gut feeling wouldn’t go away, that awful doubt rearing it’s ugly bead.

How could you be sure? You bit your nail nervously as you stared at the screen. You shakily opened the browser and went to Instagram. Logging into your account, you quickly typed in his name and easily found his profile. You weren’t sure if he had ever followed you, you hadn’t opened your instagram in a while even back when you had your phone and you couldn’t remember if you had received a notification from him. It did surprise you that he had not blocked you entirely though.

You looked through his page. It was filled with the typical selfies and artistic photos but that wasn’t what you were looking for. Your eyes landed on his profile icon, the pink and orange lining around it. Holding your breath you clicked on his story . The first slide was a picture of a sunset he had taken somewhere. He was sitting down with a paper cup in his hand.

The next slide made your heart sink.

It was a black screen with two prayer emojis on the center and your eyes quickly read over the caption underneath it.

‘update: my sister’s condition is now more stable but please continue to keep her in your thoughts & prayers. thank you for all your support, our family needs it right now.’

You let out a gasp, your face twisting in complete shock at what you were reading. This couldn’t be real. You looked over at how long ago he had posted it.

9 hours ago.

You didn’t move.

How long had his sister been in the hospital? What type of accident had she been in?

A tear slipped down your cheek as you thought about Jungkook’s words that day. What he had promised. Had he really done it? No.

No it couldn’t be right? Your breaths became more shallow as you tried to keep your emotions in check.

But why? Why would he do this after you begged him not to? To an innocent person? How could he have done this.

Had it really been him? You thought over the possibility of it being a pure coincidence. A tragic one but one that didn’t involve Jungkook at all. But even you weren’t that foolish to believe in his non-existent nobility.

He had done it. He had gone through with it.

A shuddering breath left you.

Indescribable terror shook you. Any sort of benefit of the doubt you had given Jungkook was now gone. Vanished completely. Your chains didn’t feel so invisible now with the knowledge that Jungkook had kept every promise.

“If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ”

Had he meant for you to find out?

Had he meant to hide it from you?

You really hated how you weren’t sure.

A door slammed shut.

You nearly fell off the chair by how much your body jolted.

Jungkook was back early.

—-

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maboiisuga

2 years ago

CAN Y'ALL HELP ME FIND THIS FANFICTION???

its a yandere bakugo x reader, plot is he's basically kidnapped reader and one day when he's out she realizes she misses him and Stockholm syndrome basically kicks in, something happens and then aizawa finds her and is trying to get her out of the house when bakugo comes back and while aizawa is distracted reader hits him with a vase and knocks him out and reader and bakugo run away together.

Idk if the writer deleted it but I cannot find it for the life of me 😭‼️

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maboiisuga

3 years ago

Untold

description - king Katsuki Bakugo, who’s desperate in wanting to get closer to his mate hatches a morally dubious plan to do so. Let himself get injured ? check. Convince his clueless mate that his dragon needs to breed her otherwise he will rampage ? check.

warnings - Bakugo is soo bad at feelings. loss of virginity (m&f), dom bakugo, vaginal penetration, dirty talk ?, clueless reader, breeding kink, slight lactation kink but reader isnt lactating, implied brain washing. Bakugo and his dragon are like two separate entities who existing in one body. feral baku. mentions of poison and injury. Manipulation. slight dub con if you squint.

Keep reading

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maboiisuga

3 years ago

a thing or two (m.)

tutor geto has a thing or two to teach you.

cw. oral sex (f and m receiving), lube, unprotected sex, sweet! geto, halloween setting so priest! geto, age gap, slight body worship, fingering, overall romantic sex, kitchen counter sex, dirty talk, lots of kissing, mutual masturbation, intoxication, pwp, unedited as always eep

note. for my right boob @sixeyesgojo my first ever geto fic and i hope it’s to your liking…writing this with a frozen arm and numb fingers weeeee, i almost became a geto simp.

Keep reading

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maboiisuga

4 years ago

For Those Who Don't Know, The Nigerian Government Have Basically Waged War On Civilians In Response To

For those who don't know, the Nigerian government have basically waged war on civilians in response to their protest to #EndSARS which is police brutality

This shit isn't acceptable anywhere else and it sure as hell won't be acceptable in Nigeria

Fuck the president for killing peaceful protesters and just know Nigerians are fed the fuck up and absolutely no good will come to this man for his crimes against humanity

#EndSARS #prayfornigeria🇳🇬

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maboiisuga

2 years ago

(𝟏) 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋

ও rating. explicit

ও summary. you work for an anonymous phone sex business on campus, andyou would have never guessed that your first client would be the Atsumu Miya—most popular guy on campus who sits three seats ahead of you in calculus. and you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know you exist. | wc.

cw/ tw. college au. nerd!reader, volleyball player Atsumu, phone sex, dirty talk, mild hurt/comfort, miscommunication, fraternity parties, rough sex, unprotected sex, praise kink, strangers to lovers

ও featuring. Atsumu x Fem!Reader

ও an. okay, i turned my self-indulgent fic into a multi-part fic:) please comment on this post if you’d like to be tagged.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Please remember to read all content warnings before proceeding.

Part One—You get your first caller, and can’t tell why he sounds so familiar…until you do.

cw/ tw. phone sex, praise kink, pet names (ex. baby, sweetheart)

Part Two—After weeks of phone calls, you get to know Atsumu which makes pretending a little more difficult.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Three—Things get even more difficult when Atsumu needs help with his homework before his next game, and who better to help him than the class tutor.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Four—The truth always finds a way of coming out.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Five—Atsumu confronts you.

cw/ tw. tba…

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