Me Right Now, Feeling Like Shit Again

Reblog this for suicide prevention.

on repeat

My mental illness is turning me into someone I do not recognize. I used to try be a very kind and empathetic person but now my first reaction to any situation is not to be kind or empathetic. It is anger, being mean and a horrible person. There is so much anger and I don’t know where to put it, don’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it. I’m scared of the person I’m turning into because I do not like her way more than my older self who I already hated

I'm so tired of taking care of myself. Do the laundry. Eat veggies. Take the car to get the oil changed. Go to bed at a decent hour. Put a band-aid on when you get a cut. Wash the dishes. Change the sheets.

I'm so exhausted.

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

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Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

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Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

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(Source)