“One Day Someone Is Going To Hug You So Tight, That All Of Your Broken Pieces Will Stick Back Together.”

Nevermind 3

Here again just writing something but what can I do. This is just calming my nerves. This time it’s just short one.

- Wait!

- Hey girl wait for me.

I was packing my thing in my back. The girl has went to hall already but I still belive she heard me. I put a white mask and my quickly my lunch in my back. I grabbed back with me and ran after the girl. I saw couple person still wearing shoes but no one was my friend. Of course I didn’t want to be burden for my friends but someone could’ve wait for me. Everyone doesn’t have to wait me, one is enough. I took my shoes and walked to doors. My friend from the locker room turned back from a hallway and saw me but she just passed me and walked back to others. No one cared about me. I was always out of frined groups. Right before doors there was a window. When I watched throught it I saw people outside. There was all my friends. Some of them went to their cars and others just went down the street. I saw them laugh and say goodbyes. I was greatful for that I had friends but I never felt truely happy or welcome around them. I wore my shoes and went outside. I started to walk away from little worn building to home. After couple of street I saw the girl I’ve asked to wait be and I considered to go to her but then I saw that she had someone else to be with.

Never mind 5

Ooookay... so here comes another one again.

Saliva spitted out off my mouth. My laugh echoed all around. You couldn’t escape it. Every human was trapped. I looked around myself and try to decide who’d I catch first. They all had hidden in too easy hides. I sloped my head to left and cracked my neck.  I love mouse and cat game. I laughed animalisticly. I felt the fear in the thick air. It was tasted bitter sweet. It was like sugar for me. My laugh became crazy scearm. It hurt even my own ears but it’s wildness was fascinating. I didn’t want to be like this but sometimes you have to have some fun because I love feeling of power and fear. The feeling tasted so sweet. As sweet as blood.

- Here I come!

I whispered to hallway. I was just like my mother. I admit it. Screaming filled the hallways under it and surround my sences. I laughed to humans, They were scared of only little girl. I gave a laugh to my own joke in the darkness like a psychopath.

Nevermind 4

New part of the story Nevermind.

Should I let go? Or should I hold on? I didn’t know, because I was lost. If I hold on I would drown in the world, but everything I want or need would be right there when I need something. If I let go I would fall, but I would get freedom. I didn’t knew which one would be worse opinion. Did I wanted change thing or did I want to keep everything I already had? If I let myself fall down I would leave others behind and if I hold on they will lift me up. This might be my only change. It was yes or not. Up or down. My hands were tired. I was hanning here a lon time already. I had to make a decision, but I wanted both. I wanted to feel my bones crush and that awful feeling of flying. Same time I wanted to snuggle inside a big warm blanket right next to a fireplace watching gold flames play.

- Where are you? Voice of a call was wafted on the ground. No, finally. I thought. They found me. Now I could let go and fall all the way to the ground or wait them to lift me up from this edge. I looked up to sunny sky. There wasn’t any clouds. Now do the decision. I told myself. I took deep breath and closed my eyes strictly. I calmed my nerves as much as I could. If I wanted to let go I had to do it now, before they see me. I took a breath again. They we be okay without me, I told myself and let go of the railing I was holdong on. But right before I started to fall, hands took a firm grip on me. Grip was tight and the boy had saved me. Other boy came next to him and grabbed my other hand. They lifted me up. Away from the edge, away from the railing.

Nevermind 9

Here again! Now you can read next new part of nevermind's. This time it's little bit longer. And if I haven't said it earlier my first language isn't English so don't judge if something is incorrect. but here you go. Enjoy :)

I leaned myself to wall made of bricks. The flaming lights of the lampposts sparked the dark road. Humans underworld was cruel so I have to be more brutal. I was only 17 and my childhood was ruined, so they could get my mad side out of me. Sometimes I wonder, how I just want a new normal life and curl up on my new mom's lap. How I could just listen her to sing me to sleep, just like a little baby. I changed my position against the rough brick wall. I wore only black; black sweatpants and a hoodie.

Lonely steps carried from the dark road. I step back under the alley's shadows. I put my faceless mask on and waited. I picked up my old leather jacket and covered my hair with hood. I listened the steps one by one getting closer. Rhythm of them was even. I breath deeply. Then when they little bit closer I walked out of the shadows. I looked the comer through the white faceless mask I had. A tall figure stopped about five meters from me.

- Oh, you left so far away, I said to him with cracking voice.

The man didn't answered me but stared coming closer.

- But I didn't said I allow you to come any closer, I continued.

Now the man was only one meter away. Holy name of my mom, he was tall. Those ones were always more difficult to handle. I tried to look at him more closely but the darkness covered most of his face. I could only see the outlines but I could say this wasn't the person I waited.

-Long time no see girl, he said happily and I could hear smile in his voice. No one knows I am a girl.

-Wait... who are you again? I thought this meeting was about business, not getting my hands bloody.

-Oh trust me beautiful, this is business. Or at least some could call it that.

Shiver went down my spine. I was ready to kill even thought this was the first time my instincts yelled me "RUN". The man looked me all the way down. I could feel his eyes on me and it burned my skin. Something about this felt familiar.

- Last time we met we had quite fun actually. I could say you can dance really well. Your moves are really smooth and elegant shall I say, man said calculated.

He step aside as if viewing me like a dog.

- Sadly I have to admit that I do not dance usually, I answered to him.

A moment went when he thought and circled me. The silence was painful and heavy. It was like a wet coat on you shoulders.

- You don't remember me? I am mortified, eventually he said dramatically. - you should be punished for that!

- Just stop. If you don't have anything to say, I would gladly go. I really have something to do.

- Not so fast young lady. I come here to take you with me, his voice was heavy and it told me that now would me great time to run but I didn't move a finger.

- Sorry I am not in the mood, I told him as if. My whole body was tensed. I watched how he stopped and looked at me with that burning watch. I watched how he took steps closer again. Now he was in my personal space. I seized to knife on my back and as slowly as I could I pull it closer to that man. He looked me down and grabbed my jaw.

- That wasn't a question, my love, he said.

Quickly I pulled the knife to his rib. He stared to laugh and pulled me away and grabbed his knives.

- Did you really thought I would be that stupid again? Why you do this? I am smarter than you. But isn't it funny that this time you could've actually killed me but still you missed it.

I just jumped forward to him but his avoided it. I swiped my knife to him but it didn't scratch him. Then I realized it. I remembered who he was.

- Why aren't you dead, tunnel boy? I asked.

- How sweet honey, I got a nickname? His voice was so filled with sweetness that it was almost sticky.

- I killed you.

- As well as that you did a moment ago.

- How did you find my brother? I asked because I hadn’t found him.

- That's a funny story?

- Who even are you?

- Good question, I guess.

I tried to play time and watch read his weaknesses but he was as calm as a mirror.

- Why are you here? I asked him.

- Like I said, I came to take you with me. And take that stupid mask off, I want to see you face again.

- Show me yours and I will show you mine, I answered confidently. he laughed me again and then I hit him. Straight to his dark face I could not see with all my strength. His low laugh stopped there.

- I love you, you know, he loudly whispered.

I kicked him as hard as I could. But again, he just escaped it.

- I don’t wanna fight you. I mean last time I beat you up so just give up and come with me.

I didn’t want to stay there but I wanted to fight him. But this got me kind of frustrated. He just escapes my hits and kicks and laugh at me working with a knife. Suddenly I wanted to laugh to irony of this moment. This wasn’t even a fight or war here. Even though I held the knife.

- We both know that’s not happening, so I just keep going.

Now the man sloped his head to right a bit. I put down weapon and hide it back where I took it from. I grabbed the leather jacket again from the ground. And smiled.

- Farewell and die soon, tunnel boy! I said and started running as fast as I could. I didn’t take my mask off I just focused to going forward. I turned my skin invisible and disappeared from the humans. Madness of my soul came to company me and I smiled my animalistic grin.

.

Girls don’t want boyfriends. Girls want bookshelves with sliding ladders.

Nevermind 3

Here again just writing something but what can I do. This is just calming my nerves. This time it’s just short one.

- Wait!

- Hey girl wait for me.

I was packing my thing in my back. The girl has went to hall already but I still belive she heard me. I put a white mask and my quickly my lunch in my back. I grabbed back with me and ran after the girl. I saw couple person still wearing shoes but no one was my friend. Of course I didn’t want to be burden for my friends but someone could’ve wait for me. Everyone doesn’t have to wait me, one is enough. I took my shoes and walked to doors. My friend from the locker room turned back from a hallway and saw me but she just passed me and walked back to others. No one cared about me. I was always out of frined groups. Right before doors there was a window. When I watched throught it I saw people outside. There was all my friends. Some of them went to their cars and others just went down the street. I saw them laugh and say goodbyes. I was greatful for that I had friends but I never felt truely happy or welcome around them. I wore my shoes and went outside. I started to walk away from little worn building to home. After couple of street I saw the girl I’ve asked to wait be and I considered to go to her but then I saw that she had someone else to be with.

“I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.”

― H.L. Mencken

here’s to i love you

you were asking permission to go, absolve you of this hurt, that when you walk, it wasn’t away from a girl you made promises to.

i gave you permission to go; closure is mine to own, because when you walk, i’ll know it wasn’t because i asked you to stay when you didn’t want to.

-calg

Guardian by Glen Sinclair