I Was Preparing A Wet Specimen One Day And My Dad Was Like This Reminds Me Of My Work Buddy Who Ties

just got back into gardening so i’ve forgotten. are basil leaves supposed to be this big

Remembering when I went over to my female teacher's house in 5th grade and saw that she lived with another female teacher & went home going "wow, so teachers really do all live together!" & then my family had to explain to me what lesbians are

I was put on this earth to be mid and then die

You ever have a random thought that's not intrusive, but somehow simultaneously so instinctive and so detached from your regular everyday life, that you vaguely figure it was probably just an ancestral spirit possessing you for a second?

I was baking an apple pie for fun, freehanding cardamom by vibes alone. And a thought pops into my head, must not be wasteful with them, spices are expensive. And I had to halt right there for a second. Why would I feel financial guilt about the amount of seasoning in homemade goods, when I spend money on far more frivolous shit every single day? My own weight in cinnamon would cost less than my rent.

Thank you for your concern, Maarit from the 1600s, but trust me, we're good. I can measure this cardamom with my heart and not the scale.

It should be illegal for third parties to tell you what to do with your corpse when you die. For the record if any of my followers want to turn my skull into a cup? That’s fine. You want to make my femur into a table leg? I’ll accept that. You want to use my skeleton as a tool for education? NO! I hate learning and never support it.

i can only cum if im facing towards true north

This is me btw

This is who you’re being mean to when you’re mean to me.

Got them metal tit plates

Gonna use phase shift to spice up the robotgirl sex

everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

Happy new year, weird to think it’s 2014