I Need This Tattooed Inside My Eyelids Jesus Christ!

Your questions are so good omg. I’ll get to the rest of them after I go for a walk XD

i know this was from a couple days ago but I still wanna say thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the questions. I had so much fun asking them and really loved reading your answers 😊

Fun. That's what the fuck Down with Love had going on. Fun! We need movies that will be unashamedly fun and quirky and just plain silly again. Not sarcastic. Not making fun of itself (or the audience) because it knows it's "cringe" and is embarrassed about it. Just let movies be full-blown wacky and ridiculous! It doesn't need to justify why it's that way. Embrace the weird! Be fun!

we need to bring back to cinema whatever the FUCK down with love had going on

15. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Hey y'all, I'm back! I took a break that lasted longer than expected and it's finally time for me get back to it. This is Ewan's first movie of 1999.

Genre: Family/Sci-fi

Rating: PG

Director: George Lucas

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ahmed Best, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd

Movie Synopsis: "The Phantom Menace" is about two Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who are sent on a simple diplomatic mission to help a planet in crisis. What they discover is a much larger conspiracy and that their enemy, The Sith, have finally resurfaced after 1,000 years. Aid for the Jedi comes from an unlikely ally, Anakin Skywalker, who is an enslaved child and believed by Qui-Gon to be the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.

Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Obi-Wan Kenobi who is an Apprentice aka Padawan to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan is near the end of his Apprenticeship and is a very calm, focused, and prepared Jedi learner. While his Master believes little Anakin is the Chosen One and will do anything, even go against their Council's orders, to train the boy, Obi-Wan is not convinced. During their mission, Obi-Wan must use all of his training to confront the Sith and help bring peace to the planet. Ewan speaks in what sounds like a British accent for this role. He doesn't have any love interests, kissing, or nude scenes. His role isn't very prominent so he doesn't do much. He goes swimming with his clothes on if that is important to you and he has a fight scene at the end of the movie which is spectacular. His acting is fine for the little he's given to do.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 23/136 minutes making his SP 17%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Sigh...no. Wait! Before you crucify me, just please take off your nostalgia glasses for a second! This movie and version of Obi-Wan is as dear to my heart as it is to many fans. However, my absolute love for this character doesn't change the fact that the man is barely in the movie. When he is, it's very brief scenes where he tends to be standing quietly in the background. He also has minimal lines. Even Ewan himself has joked about how he was basically hired to just stand behind Liam Neeson. The bulk of his screentime happens in the last TEN minutes of the movie. Ewan being in this film is a plus, not the reason you should watch. So, I'm obliged to say that this isn't the Ewan content you're looking for (pun intended). Now, is the movie worth watching in general? Absolutely! It's such a fun time, the world building is incredible and don't get me started on the film score! Plus, the lightsaber duel at the end is one of the best fight sequences in the entire Star Wars series.

Where to Watch: You can watch The Phantom Menace if you are subscribed to Disney+. The movie is available for rent on Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies & TV, or Fandango at Home. You can also pirate it on soap2day.

11. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Serpent's Kiss (1997)

Fun Fact! If you're a fan of the "Long Way" motorcycle series with Ewan and his best friend Charlie Boorman, then you'll be pleased to know that their friendship began on this movie! Charlie has a minor role in the film as a secretary. He and Ewan met while filming and bonded over their love of motorcycles. The rest is history!

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: R

Director: Philippe Rousselot

Starring: Pete Postlethwaite, Greta Scacchi, Carmen Chaplin, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: "The Serpent's Kiss" is about the Smithers family. Mr. Smithers wants to give his wife the gift of a garden so he hires a top-notch landscaper that his in-law recommends to him. Mrs. Smithers isn't very interested in the garden but prefers games and tricks. Specifically those she can play on people. Their daughter, Ann/Thea, is a peculiar girl. She reads far too much and gets along better with nature than people. While her mother indulges her, her father worries for her health and hires a physician to "cure" her or her abnormalities. Once the young landscaper arrives, it becomes evident that he is not just there to build a garden, but to use his expertise to exact revenge for his secret employer.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Meneer Chrome who is a famed Dutch landscaper. He takes a job in England with the goal of transforming the overgrown lawn of the Smithers family into a one-of-a-kind, modern, garden. As he works on the project, he becomes interested in his boss's eccentric daughter while her mother becomes interested in him. Ewan speaks in a Dutch and English accent for this role but mainly Dutch. I'm not familiar with Dutch accents but I'm going to be bold and say that his was terrible. It annoyed the crap out of me! I couldn't take it seriously, it was forced, and completely took me out of the movie every time he opened his mouth. I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more if he didn't have to use that god awful accent. He has a female love interest and two kiss scenes. One is with a man and the other is with a woman . He also does some flirting with his boss's wife. There's an implied sex scene and implied nudity. You do get to briefly see him shirtless though. He wears a wig and you also get to see the worst haircut he has ever had in a movie to date. His performance isn't very good. There were a couple moments where it felt like I was listening to him recite lines from a paper. It didn't seem like he was all in for this project but decided to coast through. This might be a nit-pick but it's not a spoiler: not long after we meet his character he randomly tosses his wig off for no discernable reason and he never puts it back on. Nobody says anything about it. All the men of high class wore wigs in the movie so I assumed for a man to walk around wigless in front of high society would be deemed offensive. Anyway, I don't know what the point of that scene was.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 44/106 minutes making his SP 42%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? No. Although he is in much of the movie, he just doesn't do a lot nor is he interesting. Honestly, the character is boring. I wouldn't turn this on for Ewan. Is the movie worth watching in general? Sadly, it's another no from me. In all fairness, it's so weird that it charmed me a little but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I don't know what audience this movie was made for.

Warning before Watching: There is a whole incest subplot in the movie. There aren't any sex scenes or anything but the movie makes sure you know they're related so keep that in mind. In a scene where Thea is overcome with emotion she intentionally cuts her face. The scenes of her being "cured" of her "illness" by the physician could also be uncomfy to watch. There's nothing graphic but you do hear her scream in pain and just the general treatment of this character is sad. Lastly, you see someone die from poison.

Where to Watch: "The Serpent's Kiss" is available to stream for free on Tubi, Sling TV, Redbox, Amazon Prime Video, and Freevee. It's also currently uploaded for free to YouTube. Just search "The Serpent's Kiss Full action Movie Drama Ewan McGregor".

Oh. My. GAWWD! I love it! You are sweeter than honey, my friend 🥹 I can't believe you thought of me and then took time to make one of your collages FOR me 😭 my heart is touched to the nth degree 💓 You are precious 🫂 it is honor to be YOUR friend! 🫶 I have nothing in my heart but love for you. Thank you thank you thank you! 💕💕💕

for my good friend @loycspotting , thank you for being my friend . You are the coolest user here(no offense to anyone else I follow) 🦢

I'm the DJ at work today!

Another Thrift Score!

Y'all! So there were a bajillion DVDs at the thrift store all week. I'm not kidding. They had so much that they had to start bringing the movies out in buckets because there wasn't any shelf space. I haven't had a chance to go through them all until today. I just kept telling myself "there's way too many movies for there to not be a Ewan one." I felt it in my bones. If he was in one of these buckets, I was gonna sniff him out. Finally, after a long and tedious search of scanning movie titles, guess what was at the very end?

BAM!! I could hardly contain my joy! I knew he had to be there and I knew I would find him! Yayyyy, I'm so happy! 😁 I picked up Chicago too because of my darling Renée Zellweger 🥰. There was a movie called Twisted that I considered getting for Ashley Judd too (she was in Eye of the Beholder with Ewan) but I only had so much pocket money to spend. What a great score!

Two job-hunting resources that changed my life:

This cover letter post on askamanger.com. A job interview guide written by Alison Green, who runs askamanager.

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

17. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Eye of the Beholder (1999)

Well, we're here. We finally made it to Ewan's last movie of the 1990's. Seventeen. That's how many movies our fave did in the 90's. That's not including tv shows and short films. Seventeen. Movies. Let me put this in perspective. Ewan's big screen debut was in 1994. In the span of FIVE YEARS he did SEVENTEEN movies! Five years, y'all! Out of those seventeen he starred in eleven! Who else is putting up these kind of numbers? Do y'all realize how astounding a career start that is? He wasn't a child actor. He didn't have insider connections. He was a nobody 22 year old with a dream. I'm sure even he never imagined that he would experience that insane amount of success in such a small amount of time. There's a lot that had to go into his success that I could ramble about for hours. But what I will say is that he has got to be the luckiest actor alive.

Genre: Thriller/Mystery

Rating: R

Director: Stephan Elliott

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Ashley Judd

Movie Synopsis: A British spy know as "The Eye" is sent on a mission to gather intel on his target. When he witnesses his target's murder at the hands of a mysterious woman, he feels an immediate connection to her and strives to keep her from getting caught. His strange compulsion turns into obsession as he secretly follows her and devotes himself to protecting her no matter the cost.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Stephen Wilson aka The Eye. Stephen is a quiet and withdrawn person. He is emotionally and mentally fragile ever since the abrupt loss of his daughter and still sees her everywhere. When he first sees the mysterious woman, he feels a paternal instinct ignite inside him and believes she can fill the hole left by his daughter. I think Ewan gives a good performance in this role. The character is subdued yet intriguing. His motivations are just as mysterious as the woman he stalks which pulls you in. He doesn't have a love interest. He gets into two fights and beats someone bloody in one of them. He doesn't have any nudity but Ashley Judd does. Truth be told, the draw of this movie truly is the acting. Both Ewan and Ashley Judd's performances are amazing. Watching him fall deeper into his obsession is disturbingly mesmerizing. You wonder how far he will go and how long he can keep this up. If you're into yandere and Ewan McGregor then this was made for you.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan McGregor is on screen for a grand total of 48 / 102 minutes making his SP 47%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.

Warning Before Watching: This movie features a lot of violence with much of it being bloody. There is also an attempted rape scene where the victim is beaten and drugged.

Where to Watch: You can watch "Eye of the Beholder" for free on Peacock. It is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, and Fandango at Home. You can watch it on the following streaming platforms if you have a subscription: Starz, YouTube Primetime, Hulu, Sling TV, Amazon Prime Video, YouTube Premium, and Philo Premium.

Closing Thoughts: This movie was not a commercial success yet I consider it to be a diamond in the rough. It's high on my list of favorite Ewan movies. On YouTube, there is fascinating behind the scenes footage on the film-making process that made the movie that much more endearing to me. It's called "Documentary about making Eye of the Beholder with Ewan McGregor" on the account "Ewan McGregor Vault".