They Say I Did Something Bad. Then Why’s It Feel So Good? 

sol & luna

he can’t touch me

he’s scared

he’ll burn too bright

never knowing

i loved him

for the same reason

everyday.

he won’t touch me

he’s afraid

i’ll catch fire

never knowing

it’s the same fire

that keeps me alive

everyday.

i can finally watch macgyver again after two weeks of waiting!!!!

Always Here

It was late for him, but he knows it’s just early enough in the evening for you. His fingers hover over your contact. He shouldn’t. He should just put the phone down. It was just a long day of rehearsals that’s all. He just needed to sleep, right? That’s it just sleep. 

But there’s something in his chest; it claws, nails starting to pierce through his flesh. Or else, that’s how it feels. God, it’s happening again. He needs you. He doesn’t want to need you like it just after a few days away. But, goddamn it, he needs you. Fuck it he thinks and finally taps onto the video icon. The speakers vibrate as the call rings. Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up. If he could pray in a thousand languages all at the same time, he would. 

Finally, the call connects and you smile. “Hey, Shawn.”

“Hey-hey.” It comes out breathy. But at least he can speak. 

“What’s wrong?”

He can’t even put into words what’s wrong. Maybe it’s just too much. Maybe today was just awful. Maybe it’s been a few days of this fog of sadness that’s finally hit the hilt. “Just, please keep talking. About anything, it doesn’t matter.”

So you ramble. About your day, the cute dog you saw on the street. You talk about work. You can see the way his eyes are a little wild and he’s not breathing quite properly. But you know he’s not going to answer. So you look around your room and talk about how you need sweep and how you really want to get a pedicure, but there’s like no time. 

And then you collapse onto the couch and stare up at the ceiling. Shawn’s sitting against the headboard, pillow hugged close to his chest. “I wish I could float. Like just straight up levitate you know? Watch the world spin from the outside. Listen to the absence of sound for a hot three seconds.”

Shawn likes that thought for a hot three seconds. “But then I wouldn’t be able to hear your voice,” he whispers. 

“No, we’d have suits. Radios to each other. You’d be able to hear my voice.”

He nods. “I like the sound of that.”

“The fish miss you,” you whisper quietly, watching them swim in the tank. That gets him to laugh. Finally, something positive out of him. 

“Tell them I miss them too.”

“Hey, guys, Pops misses you. You hear that?”

“I think I’m going crazy.”

You look away from the orange and pale pink fish back to the phone screen. Shawn’s buried part of his face into the pillow, brown curls falling effortlessly onto his forehead. “No. You’re not.”

He shakes his head. His eyes sting just a little. “Like, I mean it. I just. Everyone notices. I’m going insane without you.”

He’s staying overseas to rehearse for tour until it starts. Then finally he’ll make his way back to the states. That’ll be a while. “You went down the rabit hole again, didn’t you?” You asks. He does this, searches his own name, looks at what everyone is saying about him. 

He knows it’s dumb. He knows he shouldn’t. But it’s just so damn tempting. “All everyone cares about is what other people are saying anyway. I have to be at least semi prepared for press. I need to know what they’re saying about me.” It’s his classic line. He looks so he’s prepared. 

He really looks because he’s scared. He needs a certain image and he’s terrified of disappointing people. He cares. Deeply in every sense of the word. To the point that it nearly costs him. “Shawn, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“It’s easy to say that.”

“I know that. I know it’s easy to say that. But god, you’re going to run yourself into the ground. You just left to prep tour. Nothing’s blown up.”

Something has. But you try to avoid mentioning that campaign, try to let that rest. Everyone else will surely exhaust it. “Everything’s blown up!” The words aren’t harsh. But his tone. He’s out of patience. He catches it, eyes widen, lips overflowing with apologies. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I’m so, so, sorry. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Hey, no, none of that,” you start softly. “You’re not an idiot. You just need to give yourself a break. Things are going to be okay.”

Will they? Will things be okay? He’ll be gone for so long. The only thing you’ll manage are FaceTimes, quick phone conversations, and some texts. It’s not the physical act of being on tour that’s scaring him. It’s the mental challenge. The stamina to keep going, to know that you aren’t going to leave him. But what if you do? What if you decide it’s all too much?

“I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Leave you? I’m not going to leave you.”

“You say that now. But this is months. Months of me being away.”

“If you think I’m going to sit around and mope all day, you’re wrong. Shawn, I have an entire life to live. In the wise words of Queen, I’ve got to keep myself alive. Sure I’ll miss you. Sure it’s still strange to come home to no guitar strumming. Sure it’s nice to not have to put out a frying pan once a week. But if you think for a second, I’m going to stop living you’re wrong. And you shouldn’t stop living either.”

He likes that you’re a little harsh–it’s real. You have a life to live. You’re not solely dependent on him. You get up, go to work. You tend to the fish. You go and see your friends. You have a whole life. That will keep on spinning. He just needs to stop his mind from spinning. 

“You know I care, right?” he asks. 

You nod. “Of course, I know.”

“Is it crazy to say that I really miss you? That I worked myself into a tizzy all because I couldn’t admit to myself that I missed you? Sounds crazy, eh?”

“No, it sounds like you Shawn. And it’s okay to miss me. Just don’t go to Twitter if you miss me. Call me.”

“I had tried to just distract myself. And then I was worried about what do people think of us. And then there were some nasty comments. And then I just–then I looked at what they were saying about me. And I–god, it was so stupid.”

“If it upsets you, if it hurts you, it’s not stupid.”

“My brain is quite the place to be, eh?”

“It’s okay. Brains are like that sometimes. But know I’m here. Every step of the way. I am right here for you. Always for you.”

no because i cannot stop thinking about this article...

bonus:

Noah Centineo via his instagram 10/8/18

My Masterlist

To Fall for a Friend

pairing: Stiles x Reader

an episode-by-episode Teen Wolf fic that incorporates the reader into the series

Friends to Lovers type beat.

Y/N and Scott McCall have known each other since birth, being as their families were close friends. They did everything together, including meeting and befriending Stiles Stilinski. Y/N only ever knew him as Scott’s good friend. But suddenly, sophomore year changes everything. She now has to juggle everything from newly-found popularity to exposure to the supernatural world and a new romance that she’s been wishing for since she was a child.

Season One -> (COMPLETE)

Season Two -> (COMPLETE)

on a hiatus until further notice

——————————————————————————

Upside Down Feelings

an episode-by-episode Stranger Things fic that incorporates the reader into the series

pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader (slow burn) also a not so casual fling with Eddie The Freak Munson

Enemies to Lovers type beat.

Y/N Henderson is your typical high school girl with typical problems; falling out with her best friend, an annoying little brother, and a chronically unpopular standing in school. Little did she know that after the disappearance of Will Byres, her world would be flipped upside down.

Season One -> (COMPLETE)

Season Two -> (COMPLETE)

Season Three -> (ONGOING UNTIL NOVEMBER)

come join our discord server for post notifications ->

—————————

Steve Harrington fics

Scary Movie with Steve Pt. 1 ->

Scary Movie with Steve Pt. 2 ->

Head Over Heels (one shot) ->

Peter Parker fics

Tighty Whiteys Part One ->

Tighty Whiteys Part Two ->

mia blessed us once more

Trust in me, I'ma need your blessing. Oh, I love him, I’m confessing. If it takes my life, I'ma change your mind

The last lunch with your parents didn’t yield the results you or Mac were hoping for. News of your reconciliation sat like a bitter taste in your father’s mouth and a blunt announcement only caused more upset, adding fuel to an already out of control blaze.

Fast forward two months later and Mac hoped things would get better. Perhaps not to the point before the drama erupted due to his leaving. But civil enough, when your parents came over for a visit your father wouldn’t be given Mac his deathly detective “I know your guilty” stare.

Hands pressed against the counter, Mac, forgetting about the running water let his mind wander.

hours earlier

“I love your daughter, sir. And I know how much your blessing would mean to the both of us”. Mac said, cutting straight to the chase.

“You can preach you love her all you want, Macgyver. My answer is no”.

“Because I left her once before?”.

“Look at you using that big brain of yours I keep hearing so much about”. Standing up, he grabbed his drink. Mac witnessed a faint flicker of sympathy within his hardened gaze, but not enough to turn things around. “My baby girl deserves better then someone who leaves when times get tough. I’m aware of the circumstances, but it doesn’t change the fact she came to me crying because of you. You broke her heart once. So I’m not convinced your cut out for what marriage takes”.

“With all due respect, sir. We’ve both hurt each other in the past, we’ve forgiven those mistakes and are working every day to make our relationship stronger and better. Me not marrying your daughter isn’t going to change how tough love is, but I want to her by my side as my wife”

“I believe you care about her. But the day you become a father you’ll see where I’m coming from. So I’m sorry, Macgyver. My answer is still no”

“Babe. Do you wanna talk about it?”.

Mac snapped back into reality, your soft eyes staring up at him.

“There isn’t much to say. Your father still hates me for leaving you, and I don’t think anything I do will ever put me back in his good books”.

“I know you want my father’s approval, but he’s stubborn. And you’ll be waiting a long time for it. But we can’t navigate our relationship based on his feelings”. You said, kissing the side of his neck, instantly feeling some of the tension disappear.

“I know. I just needed him to see how serious I am about you, especially tonight. How sorry I am for leaving and how much I want to make us work”.

“Why especially tonight?”.

Tensing up again, he distracted himself by cleaning up the remaining dishes.

“Mac?”.

“I can’t tell you, at least not yet”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise. Please, just trust me”.

—- That night you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Mac’s words “I needed him to see how serious I am about you, especially tonight”. They rang in your ear on a loop, followed by an image of Mac and your father standing out on the terrace.

They’d only be two times they were alone together. The first being the traditionally over-protective father speech. The second, tonight’s mysterious talk. Even the constant 5 minute reassurances from your mother didn’t settle the butterflies or your mind from fearing the worst.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Mac jumped a little, his board shoulders hiding whatever object he was fiddling with, now tucked away in the bedside draw. Quickly composing himself, he kissed you on the forehead and begun getting ready for bed.

“Are you going to tell me what’s in the drawer, or am I going to have to find a way to sneak a peek”

“You’re relentless” .

“Yes, but in the best way”.

“Agree to disagree”.

A playful peck used as a distraction tool suddenly became urgent and needy. Mac pulling you into his body, balled up the ends of your shirt in his fists before releasing, struggling with the want of you against his bare skin against the need for air.

“The conversation with my father was really that bad, huh?”.

“I know I shouldn’t expect him to forgive me for leaving. But I at least thought he could see how happy we are and how right we are for each other”.

“He’s big on trust. And in his eyes you broke his unspoken rule of always being there for me when you left”.

“So you’re saying his always going to hate me?”.

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just not thrilled about us being together again. But he’ll come around, in the end he always does”.

Without blinking and no hesitation whatsoever, Mac looked you in the eye, blurting. “Marry me?”.

“Wait, what?”. It sudden dawned on you, as Mac sport his serious face. “That’s what you and my dad were talking about. You were asking for his blessing”.

“I was. He said no, for obvious reasons. And I know how much it would’ve meant if he said yes, but I tried and-”

Finger pressed to his lips. “It’s okay. Yes, it would’ve been nice. But this isn’t his decision to make, it’s mine. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. My father will just need to accept that”.

Mac swept you up in another whirlwind kiss. Both wanting to forget others expectations or disapproval, and just be with each other; now and forever.

And I can see that your mind’s made up. But daddy, he got a hold on me. I swear that he’s the one

hey guys! since this blog has expanded a lot fandom wise, my dash is severly lacking in content. so, if you reblog any of the following, reblog this post and i’ll check out your blog. If you’re an original content creator, leave your creations tag in the tags!

following me is not a requirement, but appreciated

TV

the 100

the originals / tvd

strangers things 

teen wolf

agents of shield

the flash

arrow

supergirl

cloak & dagger

game of thrones

titans

other marvel & dc tv adaptations

FILMS

disney

mcu

the maze runner 

love, simon

tatbilb

jurassic park

book to movie adaptations

And then any ya/classic lit edits!

her voice is so calming

Found a well in italy with a nice echo. Missing this trip already. [x]

Book heaven with my sister