FLUSTERED.
you can’t believe how easy it is for him to fluster you (you’re just gonna blame it on the fact it’s your first meeting with him).
pairing: ayato/gender neutral reader
category/warnings: arranged marriage, first meeting, fluff ig, ayato is hot, ayato has long hair, ayato is taller than the reader, ayato kisses the reader on their hand and the reader is nervous throughout the whole fic ure welcome
note: anyways please wish me luck on my history test today i really dont want to retake it bro
nervous. that’s the word that best describes the state that you’re in right now. nervous and a little bit excited.
you’ve heard stories about kamisato ayato — a lot of them, to be precise. who didn’t? the head of the kamisato clan, the yashiro commissioner, the leader of the shuumatsuban; yes, you’ve heard stories of him but never met him in person. and that is precisely why you’re nervous — because you’re supposed to soon marry someone you didn’t meet before. and now that you’re waiting for him, you start wondering how have you never meet him yet considering you’re so close with ayaka?
“don’t worry,” she tries to make you less nervous. admittedly, she fails but you don’t have the heart to tell her that. “oh, you see? there he is!” she whispers in your ear and gestures in front of you.
and there he is indeed. walking in your direction, with his head held up high and a confident walk.
you get more and more nervous with every step he takes and so when he finally stands in front of you, you forget how you’re supposed to act.
“hello, it is a pleasure to meet you,” he says and his voice is smooth and rich; it reminds you of honey. he has a curious glint in his eye. “hello, sister,” he adds while smiling at ayaka, to which she nods at him.
you three stand in silence for a good minute, with your friend’s brother’s eyes never leaving your figure. the girl is the one to break the silence first.
“i’m going to leave you to it,” she says and quickly bids the two of you goodbye.
it’s going to go great!, she mouths while backing away.
now that you’re left alone, you look at the man in front of you more closely. he’s attractive. oh archons, he’s extremely attractive. and he’s tall, overwhelmingly so; his figure seems to loom over yours and you feel oh so small. his hair is tied up in a high ponytail with two strands adorning his face from both sides — he’s a handsome man. he’s a very handsome man and he’s looking at you so intensely you want to disappear.
“hello,” you answer. your voice is visibly nervous and you curse yourself for it.
“may i?” he asks while gesturing to take your hand. you allow him, lifting it in his direction yourself. he delicately takes it in his own and brings it up to his lips — and you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe and you feel your cheeks heat up. he kisses your knuckles while never breaking the eye contact and you’re so caught up in the act of what is happening that you forget how close and how intimate the position you are in is.
“i have a feeling we’re going to get along quite well,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, not letting your hand out of his hold. his eyes are piercing and you have to look away. you try to calm down your beating heart — damn it, why were you so easy to fluster?
kamisato ayato is gonna be the end of you.
Someday I will finish this art
I'm not the only that thinks that Childe was trained by one of these two or even both, right?
I forgot to mention...
I imagine if Diluc get super clingy...
He might asked us to tie his hair 👀 he'll sit on the floor like a little kid and like stay there until we're finished 🥺
Or
If he's tired...(and we're staying (a.k.a living) with him)
He'll be longing for our touch and when he's home, he'll be going into our shared room in a rush (but quietly 🤫) just to get spooned by us and inhaling our homey scent
Like...changing his clothes into a pj (I think he'll wear dark colours, satin pj) and wiggling himself into our arms 🥺🥺
*I cannot contain myself 🥺 my brain cannot stop imagining these things after reading your ficts*
-🍮-
Thank you for the food pudding anon nom nom ahahhaa
Hahaha he is such a soft person around you I don’t doubt that he might do that if he’s 100000% comfortable with you.
He has such beautiful hair too <3
pairing ⸺ clan head!gojo x wife!reader
summary ⸺ satoru begs you to attend a meeting with the higher-ups, but not for the reasons you thought. inspired by this art by @/baobei-bu!
warnings ⸺ SMUT, gojo is a warning by himself, VERY public sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, no penetration, fingering, fondling, making out, panty-ripping, exhibitionism, kinda cucking but the only ppl humiliated and humbled are the higher ups, porn no plot, but plot if you squint, reader is a strong independent woman (until gojo charms her, bc who wouldn't turn into a cockslut for gojo?), this took me at least five hours to write for no good reason?, not edited (like always....)
a/n pls enjoy and thank u to the queen for making such delicious art (p.s. go to their twitter for nsfw ver i squirted)
general masterlist
“Pleaseeeee,” Satoru has his face buried in your chest, nuzzling in further while complaining. It’s almost comical how he—head of the biggest clan in Jujutsu—is leaning down to match your height. You, meanwhile, stand firm, arms crossed, regarding him with a mix of exasperation and reluctant affection as he leans down to meet your gaze. “Will you come with me?”
The question comes as the dreaded meeting with the higher-ups looms, a gathering he's been dodging all day. It technically began ten minutes ago, and you barely managed to wrangle him into his formal kimono just twenty minutes earlier. You sigh, fingers brushing his hair. “Satoru, you know what they think of me. I'm not exactly their favorite person.” You’re both standing in the middle of your shared bedroom, you imploring him to be on time for his meeting to avoid getting even further shit from the higher-ups.
Mind you, you’re the more rational one between you and Satoru—in fact, most of the people who know you would agree that you’re a very mature, wise person in general (with the exception of some circumstances, of course). And despite the respect your skill commands, the higher-ups have never warmed to you, not since you refused to play a pawn in their games. Marrying Satoru, the one jujutsu sorcerer they could never control, only amplified their discontent. They see you both as threats—powerful sorcerers bonded in defiance.
At the mention of "higher-ups," Satoru's pout deepens, and his pleading voice grows more insistent. “Pleeeease,” he drags out, practically whining. “I have separation anxiety.”
You feel a pang of sympathy. These meetings are miserable for him—hours trapped in a room with men twice his age, trying to dictate his every move. “I don’t know, Satoru…” you murmur, hesitating.
But Satoru takes advantage of your softening resolve, hugging you tighter, his face pressing into you again. “Don’t make me go in there alone!” he says, his voice muffled. “You have no idea how much you silence them. One word from you, and they all think twice. I’m already one step away from wanting to kill them all.”
A sigh escapes you as you realize he’s not letting up. And while you’re reluctant, you know that your presence, your opinion—one of the few he truly values—might actually give him a sense of calm in that harsh room. “Alright, alright,” you concede finally, hand smoothing the fabric of his sleeve. "But no making a scene."
His answering smirk is smug, giving you a fat, sloppy kiss on your cheek that you’re not afraid to show your partial-disgust about. You all but have to wrestle him off of you white he’s smothering you in kisses, getting out something about how much loves you, oh so thankful to have such a wise wifey like you as you get ready in a kimono similar to his and head to the limo waiting outside of the manor you and Gojo reside in.
As soon as you get in, Gojo turns sharply to Ijichi, who’s shifting the gear. “Put the divider up.”
“O-Okay, Gojo-san.” A little intimidated by the commanding tone in your husband’s voice, he quickly presses the button to activate the screen, and Gojo pounces on you, grabbing you and hoisting you up by your sides to put you on his lap.
“Satoru!” you exclaim, surprised as he captures his lips with yours. His hands roam your body as he moans, almost obnoxiously, because he knows you’re always paranoid whenever he initiates anything in public. Your crotch aligns with his thigh, big and stuffed with muscle as he drives your hips to grind on him, and despite yourself and your circumstances, you find yourself leaning into his touch.
“My pretty wife,” he purrs, now trailing kisses down your jaw and into your neck. “So pretty, so supportive.”
Despite his dizzying movements, you try to get a hold of yourself. “Satoru, we shouldn’t be doing this here. We need to discuss what to sa—”
“Fuck that,” he sighs, so breathless that you want to cave in.
“No, but—”
His eyes darken, and his hands start creeping up your legs, going slowly and slowly closer to your pussy. “Baby, you know I value what you have to say,” and his fingers graze your folds, making you leak even more with his teasing, “but I wanna listen to something else.”
He drags his index finger up and down your slit, making you whimper. His fingers then prod into your hole, putting pressure there but not quite delving in. “Satoru,” you whine out, clutching his upper arms as he has his way while toying with you.
“Yea, that’s what I wanna hear,” he groans, giving you a kiss. It is then that he rewards you with inserting his digit in, curling to hit your spot as he fingers you. HIs other arm is around you, holding your panties’ crotch to the side to allow him to touch you. “My good girl.”
As he’s touching you, the squelching sounds fills the enclosure you’re in and you’re desperately praying to God Ijichi can’t hear the lewd things the both of you are doing in the back. You’re just reduced to whimpering, unable to reject Satoru’s dizzying touches, his free hand leaving your panties to grope at your inner thighs, ass, and breasts. It’s like he’s devouring you with his kisses, urgent, as he continues curling his fingers.
Between kisses, you try to get out a “Satoru—mmph,” smooch, “we shouldn’t be—mm” smooch, “shouldn’t be doing this here!”
“What,” he drawls, and with the glint in his eyes you know the fucker’s trying to toy with you, knows what he’s doing is mischievous. “I can’t touch my wife?”
Before you could utter a response, however, the limo suddenly slows, and the sensation of using the brakes to stop the car makes you sober up. “We’re here, Satoru we need to go—-” As you’re trying to rip yourself off his lap, he pulls out the finger that was inside you and uses his hand instead to entangle it with the crotch of your panties, pulling and pulling until the cloth is nothing but shreds, falling off your body.
Oh my god, you were not paid enough for this shit.
With his oh-so-irritating eyes—the same ones that you spent despising in your early school years—he looks at you through his pretty white lashes as he makes a show of sniffing the now tattered shreds that were your panties and putting them in his pocket. Under your kimono, you can feel your slick escaping your panties as the cool air wafts through it, landing on your pussy. You look at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
He giggles, giving you a kiss on the cheek while helping you off his lap, putting a hand on your head to make sure you didn’t bump your head against the car’s ceiling. “Let’s go and deal with those hags, my love.”
To be honest, you don’t really understand why Satoru is so handsy today. He’s on some sort of man-ovulation, you think, as you stride into the room. Even ripping off your panties was a bit excessive, if not out of pocket (no pun intended). Breaking out of your thoughts, you grounded yourself in the present, noticing hostile eyes turned towards your husband, and then you. You match their barely-subtle glares with a stink eye of your own, holding your chin up as you walk past them dismissively. Just as you’re about to take a seat next to Gojo—being mindful of your kimono so you don’t flash any of these old bastards—one of them speaks up.
“Gojo-sama, why is this woman here?”
You continue to take your seat, noticing Satoru’s jaw clenched. But right as he’s about to say something, you cut in for him. “This woman,” and you smile, deceptively sweet, “is the lady of the clan. It would do you well to remember the hierarchy of the Gojo clan.” You don’t need to turn to look at your husband to know he has a proud smile on his face, making no effort to hide his smugness. What shocks you instead is that he swings an arm around you, effectively dragging you closer to him until you’re basically sitting on his lap, and his hands go to roam your sides.
Now, some old grandpa starts talking, commencing the meeting, on their usual bullshit of the need for extermination of Sukuna’s vessel, but Satoru pays them no mind. Instead, what they receive in response is non-committal hums as his hands drag themselves up your stomach and down where your legs are crossed to the hem of your kimono, and then under.
Any semblance of paying attention to the meeting and responding to their infuriating beliefs leaves your mind as you blank out, panicking that Satoru is trying to commit public indecency with you. As an argument erupts between the higher ups about something, you turn to Gojo to furiously whisper, “What is wrong with you today?! Cut it out.”
In your life, you’ve fought many curses, first grade and even special grade included as you climbed up the ranks of Jujutsu sorcery despite having a non-sorcerer upbringing. What you will never be able to defeat, however, is your husband’s charm. Satoru knows what he’s doing as he lets out a deep moan in your ear, making you squeak and become even more flustered, as he continues to make lewd noises, puffs of his breath fanning across your neck.
a/n gojo the type to start moaning randomly to make you fold #sorrynotsorry
The indecency of all of it—-Gojo basically whimpering in your ear sweet nothings like good girl, that’s my wife, gonna let me finger you in front of all these ugly hags, right?—-being loud in your ear but also just quiet enough that you’d only hear made you so wet, heat throbbing between your thighs as Satoru’s hands start rubbing your fold. It’s a teasing touch, one not enough to satisfy you but to stimulate you nonetheless.
It’s just when his index finger starts slowly circling around your clit that you buck your hips slightly, making him look at you teasingly, peering down at you from above your shoulder. “Oh you liked that, didn’t you?”
“I hate you,” you puff out, trying to fight the heat creeping up your neck as Satoru’s circles on your clit get more tangibly, simulating you oh so deliciously. To make sure you hold yourself up, you set your elbows down on the table, Satoru’s arms engulfing you as you’re forced to take whatever touches he’s giving you under the table.
“She’s so loud,” he whispers, pointing out the noises your pussy was making as his digits roved over your folds. The squelches were tangibly there, audible to anyone who would strain their ears. You could tell your lack of response to the meeting was catching attention, because there were several eyes towards you, waiting for something; it was then you realized that they had posed a question but were simply too fucked out to respond.
A voice comes out to reprimand your husband sharply. “Gojo-sama, this is hardly appropriate.”
Satoru chuckles, not stopping his ministrations as he picks up a cup filled with water, his smug gaze still turned towards you while observing and appreciating your every hiccup and reaction. “Can’t my spouse attend this meeting? I value her opinion above everyone else’s in this room, after all,” he drawls, lodging his chin in the curve of your neck. “Besides,” and he flashes a dangerous grin to the man who spoke out, “weren’t you the ones who were oh so worried about me not having an heir?”
At this point, you’ve filtered out all noises, focusing and honing in on the sensation of your orgasm coming. His digits are playful, curling up to hit your g-spot repeatedly, his palm tickling your clit. Each time he hits your spongy spot a bout of electricity runs up your body, pulling you closer and closer to your orgasm.
“But guess what,” and he gives you a kiss on the cheek, despite the aversion the rest of the higher ups have to any displays of affection, “we can solve that problem right here, right now.” He punctuates it with a harsh sink of his fingers into your plush cunt, and, with that, you finally cream his fingers, a result of Satoru teasing you all day now. You try to temper the shakes wracking your body by slamming your fist against the table, trying not to moan out.
It seems that no one’s seen you riding out your orgasm out so visible, because there are gasps around the room at how obscene Gojo’s suggestion was. “It is shameful of you to be saying such things, Gojo-sama!” one of them sputters out, red with anger and outrage.
Your husband not so subtly rolls his eyes. “Then don’t bring it up all the time, old man.” Satoru knows how touchy and vulnerable you are right after you cum, so he’s running his hands softly up and down your thighs to quell your quivers affectionately. “Actually, what about this? You all haven’t witnessed us consummate our marriage, correct?” He smirks. “What about witnessing the heir-making next time?”
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a/n pls see the vision like i want gojo to claim me and rail me into next tuesday while the higher ups just watch uncomfortably like maybe i am a freak like that. like gojo would be so obsessed with how he's claiming you in front of the fuckers that piss him off so much...might do a part two if pookiesa like this :P
comment and reblog to let me know ur thots :3
sorry im dead im practicing fursonas. would you like bird ragbros
masterlist | 1k prompt masterlist | discord server
requests: (1) TW : suicide. What about HC with Diluc, Kaeya, Childe and Zhongli that g/n reader tried to suicide with drowing and they save them? Maybe hurt/comfort. You can adapt or anything if it uncomfortable.
pairings: diluc, kaeya and zhongli x gn!reader (separate)
warnings: s*icide attempt (not detailed), mentions of mental illnesses. please dni if these topics are sensitive to you
notes: i took childe (and drowning) out since there’s a similar request like this in my inbox with just childe! this topic was heavy so i sincerely hope you are doing okay. i hope this brings you some comfort. national suicide hotline: 800-273-8255
Keep reading
Why is this heat so hot 😩
“j-just shh baby” eren plead, rocking his hips into you. your hand covered your mouth as you stared up at him, his glasses getting foggy with each deep breath he took to keep the moans from falling. “j-just please mommy” eren bit his red lip, thrusting into you roughly making him bottomed down. “shitshitshit” tears came to his water line, your pussy was his favorite thing in the world. well after spiderman, harry potter, you, and his mom. but it was still his absolute favorite thing ever.
it sucked him in, wrapping around him so tight that sometimes it was even hard to rock into you. his large hands gripped your love handles, fuckin you onto him, you body jerking and tummy jiggling slightly when your ass connected to his thigh making the sound echo out. “rennieee” you whispered, hands balling into the spiderman covers beneath you. this wasn’t supposed to happen, a cute day at his parents house turned into you two spending the night in his nerdy room.
it was book, anime, spider man, action figure galore. and you couldn’t help but find it so cute.
“shh s-shh” he stuttered, his hair falling out of the ponytail and prettily falling down his face when he threw his head back; adam’s apple bobbling, and cock jerking when you clenched. “g-god” he whimpered, making small thrust, his fat head nudged deep inside of you. “b-babyy” you griped his arms scratching at his skin, trying to do something. the feeling was too much but too little, he was fucking you so slow that it felt like he was edging your orgasm. you looked at him with low eyes fucking him youself.
sliding up and down his dick, his headboard hit the wall while eren let out a choked sob. “nono” it was too late. his organs hit him, his abs flexing as he fell onto of you, glasses falling on the ground while tears poured from his eyes. “that’s it” you whispered in his ears still rocking your hips. his balls where being drained empty. your pussy clenching and unclenching, your eyes focusing on the pathetic man with green eyes who looked at you as if you were some sort of god. “fill me up more baby” you wiped eren’s tear stained cheek holding onto the eye contact as your creamed around him. “y-yess” you cried, your nipples being sucked into his warm mouth making you fall back from your elbows and try pushing him away; but he wouldn’t budge”
“make a’mess mommy” his deep voice sent shockwaves throughout you. your body in sweet bliss for so long eren panicked just a little until you stopped shaking and giggled tieredly. “they’re definitely gonna know” eren only pouted kissing your lips. his cheeks red in embarrassment but he wouldn’t take it back.
Isn't he just dreamy!!
If I am not drowning in it, I have no desire for it.
pairing: knight geto suguru x disgraced noble fem!reader tags: historical au; arranged marriage; slow burn; misunderstanding; arguments; kinda enemies to lovers; angst; drama; fluff; smut; hurt/comfort; eventual happy ending; MDNI; warning: ANGST, implied attempted sa (not to the mc), homicide, corruption; physical assault; abandonment issues; 1.7k wc notes: when i say this fic is the bane of my existence, i mean it in every sense of the term :) the chapter title is from here. the fic title and summary are from this post. the header is from pinterest. jjk isn't mine! please comment on the fic masterpost, or send me an ask, to be added to the taglist!! :))
Your husband is a callous man.
Disgustingly so.
But, of course, if you ever say the same to anyone else, they'll be certain to return you a scowl—not that they don't give you one now, but they'll make it much worse then—for how can you speak such ill of your husband: the oh-so-gallant, oh-so-chivalrous knight Sir Geto Suguru!?
Well, the thing is... first off, none of those outraged voices know the man as well as you do.
Secondly, and more importantly, none of them are you.
Born as the eldest daughter of one of the most prominent nobles in the Empire, you had always been told there was a golden future lying in wait for you. Elegant, graceful, refined—you grew up to be the epitome of each of these adjectives and so many more meaning the same. Something your parents and teachers adored you for, your peers resented you for, the general populace looked up to you for.
Long story short, your life was nothing less than wonderful.
But, as is the way with this world, good things seldom last long—yours too didn't.
The wandering hand of a noble.
The terrified screams of your maid.
The said noble's head rolling on the floor.
The pristine white of your gloves drenched in bright red, the same shade dripping from the sharp blade of a sword; that too, one which had always been an idle wall decoration...
Were the noble any lesser person, you know nothing would have happened. You did a right thing, after all, saving a poor helpless girl from the maws of a vile beast.
But no, he wasn't a lesser person.
He was the Emperor's little brother. Lecherous, yes, of course, no one could negate this; but he was His Majesty's youngest brother, eighth in line to the throne, which is why you weren't even taken to trial. The blood on your hands hadn't even dried before every title you owned were snatched away from you, and you were reduced from being one of the most highly regarded young ladies amongst the nobles to being a convicted criminal—
'Attempted theft of a royal jewel.'
'Harrassment of a member of the royal staff when they attempted to stop her.'
'Murder of a member of the Royal Family when they attempted to detain her.'
The story was changed, and with it thus twisted and distorted until not one letter of it was true, you were indeed nothing more than a convicted criminal—
A burden your parents waited not even a day before they decided to get rid of, before they decided to bedeck it in finery of the highest kind and send it to the slaughterhouse under the pretence of your hand being promised to Zenin Naoya.
You ran away.
Of course, you ran away.
Only to be spotted by one of your family's old servants, not even ten miles away...
What happened next is preserved very poorly in your memory—you remember reading in a book once, how one's mind tries to erase things too traumatic for them—but you do recollect the sheer panic and the utter desperation you felt as you were all but dragged back to the manor, you would swallow your tongue before calling it your home again. Oh, and, of course, the clinking of the thousand gold coins as your father awarded them to the man for his loyalty whilst your cheeks stung from the force of your mother's fury.
The Zenin heir cancelled the engagement within the next hour, claiming he had no desire to marry a disobedient wretch like you. When you scoffed and told your mother that neither did you have a wish to wed a cur like him, she slapped you again, drawing blood this time.
Your parents were prepared to disown you.
And you knew. And no matter how much it hurt, you were prepared to be disowned by them, prepared to leave and set out on a new path on your own—which is when your dearest husband entered the stage of your life, and without further ado, set it on fire—
Sir Geto Suguru, the paragon of virtue, so very darling to the Empire.
The envoy of death, so very terrifying to the enemies of the Empire.
The catalyst of your doom, so very dashing as he stood before your parents, the coal black of his hair and his eyes scintillant in the sun as he greeted them with a bow and a courteous smile—its keen shape perhaps not too unbecoming the sharpness of his mien, you thought absently, still blissfully ignorant to what lay in your future, as you stood behind your mother—
It took Geto all but a moment to stand upright and ask your father for your hand in marriage.
It took your blood less than a moment to freeze in your arteries.
Were it before, you know your parents would've rejected such a proposal in a heartbeat; your world and the knight's were far too different, too far apart. But that day, utterly devastated, utterly helpless, you watched them both nearly sob in relief as your mother nodded and your father brought your intended into a hearty embrace.
The wedding took place a day later in an extremely private function.
Not even a month after which, Geto received his transfer orders to some remote town by the sea.
And giving you a set of barely-intelligible, insultingly-perfunctory reasons, more like 'excuses', as to why you couldn't accompany him; you're his wife, for goodness' sake; he dropped you off at your in-laws' in the countryside—people who hadn't even deigned to attend their only son's wedding—
You don't dislike them, though.
You dislike your husband.
The man who, by marrying you, has made himself an angel donning a mortal skin, a person too good for the likes of anyone and everyone; most certainly, much too good for you.
The man who, by leaving you barely thirty days into your conjugal life, has made you even viler in the eyes of others than you can ever imagine it to be possible, believe it should be possible.
The man who has visited his home, his wife, only a handful of times in the last one year, that too only for a handful of hours each time, never staying for more than one day and the next morning.
The man who doesn't care enough to reply to your letters, let alone send you any, only sending his father enough money to feed a village and a curt letter saying he's well on the third day of every month, the words devoid of even the smallest mention of the person he married and brought to his home—
If one says you hate Geto, you will simply nod in response and not breathe one word in disagreement, you think as you wrap the blanket tighter round your shivering form and stare at the waning crescent in the pitch-black sky.
It's lonely.
The moon is rather lonely, you reckon, a faint frown creeping onto your lips...
But definitely not as acutely, as painfully as you are—
After all, the moon hasn't been forsaken by its friends, parents and husband, has it?
The moon isn't forced to endure pitiful glances and scathing glares throughout the day, is it?
The moon need not spend night after night, either sleepless or seeing nightmares where it is abandoned in an entirely new way, tossed aside in an incomparably worse way by others—does it?
No.
You suppose not.
A pathetic little sigh escapes you as you force yourself to relax beneath the warm weight of the blanket, gaze soon drifting from the sky outside the window to your hands, to the pretty little diamond sitting on your left hand—only to stiffen when you hear a pair of feet pad into the kitchen—
"Do you have a fever?" A familiar voice rings out, so sleepy yet so worried, so kind—that too for you out of all the people the concern could be for—you can't help but become a touch misty-eyed.
It's your mother-in-law.
Sometimes, you think she's the only person you won't mind calling family.
The only person who, you don't think you're wrong when thinking, won't mind you calling them family.
Trying to hide a sniffle, you shake your head, lips shifting into a small smile on their own when you can finally discern her in the almost darkness, "Um, no. I'm totally fine, thank you."
"Alright," she doesn't press you any more, choosing to pour herself a glass of water instead. You look away from her, focus shuffling away to rest on the orange lights of the distant houses and huts against the blue backdrop of the night, when a quiet call of your name reaches you.
You turn back, only to find your mother-in-law wearing a knowing smile. She suddenly looks a lot older than you know she actually is—you wonder how your mother is faring—
Is she happy now that her shame of a daughter is away and no longer besmirching the spotless reputation of the family? Or, does she miss her first child, her 'sunshine', living so many miles away from her?
You know better than to ponder over such questions; yeah, you know you do.
"Yes, Mother?" you ask; the aftertaste of the last word not as sour as it used to be in the early days of your marriage, you register absently all the while wondering why her smile appears to grow when you call her thus, "Is—"
"I've raised Suguru to be brave and true-hearted," she says, and you cannot help the way your form grows rigid at the mere mention of his name—nor the burn settling behind your eyes nor how your throat clogs up, words dying far before they're fully formed when the remainder of the sentence clicks into place in your brain—"He will return to you, darling. I'm sure of it."
Hours from now, you will wonder why your mother-in-law is telling you all this.
You will wonder why she thinks your sleepless nights are because of her son, especially when you haven't breathed even a syllable of your distress to anyone; least of all, to her.
You will wonder why she sounds so sure while she's reassuring you of your husband's return.
Hours from now, you will tear your brain apart and put the pieces back together, in search for answers to these and so many more questions.
But now, in this moment, you don't think.
You screw your eyes shut and bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, trying your damnedest not to cry—until you decide you're much too wounded, too too weary to put up a good front—
And you cry, and you cry, and you cry.
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